Fly Away
A Vision of Escaflowne FanFiction
By Senya Starseeker
twilight_rhapsody@hotmail.com
Disclaimer: Escaflowne and all related characters (Allen, Marlene, etc.) are not mine, they belong to their respective owners/creators. Phacia is an original character, created by me. The song at the end of this fic was NOT written by me, it is taken from the video game Final Fantasy IX and was composed and possibly written by (I'm not sure) Noubo Umaetsu.
A/N: This is my first time posting a fan fic for an anime rather than a game . . . it takes place when Marlene is on her death bed, and she's remembering all of her times with the dashing knight, Allen. Enjoy, and please, please, please Review! :)
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/She was not struggling even to breath, anymore at thsi point, each breath was a battle and she was constantly losing. Yet, she had felt herself will to give all of this up long ago. So why was she still there? Why was her mind still painfully aware of her surroundings, of her situation? She can tell that Phacia, her trusted confidant, is standing beside her bed, stressed and pale, green hair frazzled from staying awake for days on end. Hoevering over her like an over-protective parent. Yet she, Marlene, can no longer summon the will to open her eyes or reassure her confidant, because she can feel herself slipping. Caught in a stage similar to the one between sleep and wakeing, only this is between life and death. She knew that this day would come, in truth, for much of her existence, she had looked forward to it with a meloncholic desire for an end to the dreary day-to-day life she was forced to lead. And now, though she can no longer feel her body, her mind is still spinning, how many years ago was it? When did her story begin . . .?/
/Many years earlier . . ./
She can see herself sitting in her room, quiet, posed, staring without thought at the birds outside, the birds which can fly away to exotic lands and see any number of intersting and beautiful things. Things she was only permitted to read about in books. But back then, her room had not been in Fried, no, it had been in lovely Asturia, yes is was all returning to her now . . .
Phacia entered her chamber, frowning with disapproval, and making the lines on her forhead, which were still faint then, appear more noticable. "Princess Marlene Erisha Aston . . . it is imperative that you pursue a more . . . active lifestyle." She said this, more like a disapproving parent than a concerned friend. "You know that your health requires you to be more active--"
"Oh really?" Asked Marlene drearily, turning her gaze from the window slowly, "You can say it, we both know the truth of the matter."
Now there was a silence for several moments as Phacia studied the young Princess' face sadly, "Marlene, I do not know what you mean . . ."
"I am . . . going to die." She said, perhaps, a little louder than she had intended, she cleared her throat as she rose, trying to ignore the way her confidant's face crumpled at those words. "You know that I have never been healthy. This body is weak, and hardly suitable for this world. It is only a matter of time . . . is it not? Mightn't I just wait here rather than waist my strength trying to be healthy and energetic? Because . . . you and I both know . . . I really . . . I do not mind." She crossed the elabortly decorated room and took a seat on the edge of a large satin-laced bed with a shimmering rose canopy, almost regretting her speech when she saw Phacia's even more worried expression.
"Princess . . . it is not healthy to be thinking such thoughts. And besides that . . . you do not have a choice in the matter." Phacia told her matter-of-factly, and then smiling at her mistress' puzzled expression. "Your dear uncle has been most concerned for your health as of late, as you are no doubt aware. And he has arranged for you to attend a sword fighting tournament with him."
"Oh dear! I don't want to watch sports, Phacia, you know I find them a dreadful bore!"
"Yes, well, as I said, you do not have a choice in the matter. But cheer up, who knows, you may even meet your 'knight in shining armor.'"
/Now, on her death bed, so many years later, she knew how true that silly phrase had been. She would have laughed at it, if she had the strength, of the least bit of control over her body anymore.Now, on the brink of death, her memory was crisp and clear, it was as though she were an outside person, watching the evtns unfold. And every movement, every word was crisp and clear within her mind. She faintly wondered why her mind was becoming so clear towards hre memories, as her present was hazy and blotted out with a non-functioning body writing on the bed, at death's door. Was it so that she might, after everything, go in peace . . .?/
Her mind wandered away to a great many things as the princess sat idly in the hot, stuffy, crowded booth, particularly to things she could be doing if she weren't there. The tiny fan she held provided amazingly little comfort from the scorching blaze of the summer sun, which was especially torturous under the long heavy layers of gown she was forced to wear. From her seat she drearily watched the contestants enter the arena, only half paying attention and not intrested in the least. The crowd would rise in a roaring cheer one fight after the next, and she would stifle a yawn, and fidget in her seat.
Then it all changed. Then her world shifted and rocked abruptly, and without warning as /he/ came in. Suddenly her attention snapped, she was drawn to the centre of the arena to the young man who had just entred. His hair was as golden as the rayes of the sun, his face was smooth and young, elegantly he stepped forwards. His features were perfect to the smallest detail, he was just this: beautiful. Beautiful beyong belief. His expression was confident, she thought, and perhaps, cocky . . .? When his opponent came she wasn't surprised at all when the young golden-haired boy easily beat him with a few swift strikes of his sword. He won each and every fight, and all with gracefullness and ease. Marlene herself had grown dislodged from reality, completely absorbed and intent on watching him move, watching his golden hair sway and ripple in the hot sunlight. It was so hot, but he, she noticed, was without sweat, he looked clean and gorgeous.
Her heart began to hammer against her chest, as her eyes remained fixed intently on him, the princess had not even noticed that her face was flushed and that was clutching her little fan hard enough to tear it in two. She did not even notice when he had defeated all of his opponents, so lost was she, but at that moment he turned to her and theirs eyes met, and oh, time itself froze.
His eyes were as crisp and clear and as blue as the sky, they were warm and dazzling. She felt her heart race, and thought, should she not look away? Oh, but she could not! Those gorgeous blue eyes had an unearthly gravity about them, they drew her's in. She longed to hold that moment for ever, when all else vanished and it was just her and those magnificent blue eyes.
He bowed to her, very formally, the crowd rose to their feet around her, cheering like mad, and she remembered were she was, jolted back into reality. She knew that she should be cheering and clapping with them, but she suddenly felt very numb. She did not realize that her hands were already clapping on their own.
Shortly after that, the tournament ended and she found herself almost reluctant to depart, thanking her uncle, and sincerely, for the outing. "Nonsense, my dear, anything to make you happy. But are you quite sure you enjoyed it? You did seem a little bored there."
"Oh no, no, no, Uncle! It was wonderful! Absolutly wonderful! But, please, do you happen to know the name of the last knight which we saw? The one who defeated all of his opponents?" She asked. /And was so beautiful?/ she mentally added.
"Oh-ho!" Chuckled her Uncle good-naturedly, "So /that's/ what caught your interest all of a sudden? Yes, that was Allen Crusade Schezar . . . the eighth, I believe. He's the best swordsman Asturia's had ina long time, quite young to, and quite a hit with the ladies, or so I've heard." He winked at her.
"Uncle!" She felt her face grow hot, and stammered, "That--That is not what--I don't--didn't--"
But that night in her room she kept repeating his name over and over, continuously rolling it off her tongue, a handsome name, a beautiful name. And his face kept re-appearing inside her mind. Youthful, beautiful, strong, but still elegant. . . "Allen Schezar . . . could it be that he is . . . the one?"
/Yes, she answered her past self, as memories flooded her. Yes, he had been the one. The one real man that every woman meets once in her life time. Her 'true love,' as Phacia would have said. Phacia had been partly responsible for pushing the two of them together, but how could Marlene blame her for the best times of her life?/
Phacia smiled as she brushed out the young princess' long shimmery hair, relieved to find her talking about a less gloomy subject, for once. And she was speaking so exitdely as well, like a child. Although, the moving of her head was making it considerably difficult to brush her hair, Phacia was happy. "Hmm . . . see I told you that you might enjoy your outing after all."
". . . and he beat everyone who fought against him."
"And you noticed a little thing like that?" Chuckled Phacia, "What was his name, again?"
"Allen Schezar. Is that not a handsome name, Phacia?"
"Mmm . . . very handsome." Phacia smiled.
All of these years later she could look back and think of how humerous it had been, her nervousness the first time she had actually met him, at the palace. She was wandering through the gardens and happened to meet him there, unexpectedly. He kneeled and kissed her hand. "Princess Marlene." When he rose again she could see that he was smiling. Such a magnificent smile, it made him even more beautiful.
"And you must be . . . Allen Schezar, yes?" She said, as though she hadn't been thinking his name constantly for the past week. "How do you do?" She asked politly, the words came out a little off-key, as she was nervous, but she watched him curiously, to see how he would answer her.
"Oh, I am quite well." He replied smoothly, his voice as golden and beautiful as he was. "Especially now that I've had the pleasure of making your aquiantence, princess."
"Umm . . ." She smiled, really, unable to resist, he was charming, but, what was he doing wandering around the palace gardens? She'd said it as soon as thought is, her next thought being, 'drat, should've thought first, what a rude thing to ask.'
However, he continued smiling his gorgeous smile, and replied in the beautiful voice which made her want to melt away into nothing at all, "I was waiting to meet someone in the palace, they told me to wait here and look around . . . I certainly wasn't expecting to meet the princess."
"Nor I you," She replied, finally remembering how to speak, it seemed. "Well, it is a pleasant surprise, to be sure."
"Princess," He told her, "The pleasure is all mine."
Marlene smiled again, "I saw you at the dueling tournament."
"Yes, I noticed you in the stands . . . I hope I put on a good show for you." He said, in that smooth handsome voice, had he moved closer to her?
As though, in a dream, soft faint notes of music began filtering into the garden, among the flower petals. "Do you...hear that?" She asked.
Allen nodded, "Would you care to dance?"
"Dance?" She repeated, as the notes of music seemed to become clearer and stronger. "Umm, well alright, that is if you don't mind me stepping on your feet."
"Oh I wouldn't much mind if you stepped on my feet, princess." Allen smiled and wrapped an arm around her slender waist. "Maybe you just need a teacher," He told her. "Just relax and follow me." The dance began, as it would in a ballroom, yet different because the floor was replaced with soft grass, there were no people crowding around them and the entire aura of the garden seemed to be one of magic.
Marlene felt that she was finally relaxing, finally enjoying something, she felt as though he were leading her through the clouds, through the sky. She was finally able to fly away from the castle as she had always so desired. The sent of flower blossoms filled her mind and she smiled up at Allen, who was already smiling at her. She felt strangely warm in his company, his personality was as beautiful as his appearance. He was truly gallant. Her gallant swordsman. True ecstaty filled her heart, for the first time, she was light, she was alive.
Yet one thing bothered her, the dance stopped, "Allen, who wanted to see you at the palace?" No sooner had she uttered the words when she heard the sound of clapping behind her, startled Princess Marlene turned to see her nurse and trusted confidant, Phacia standing beneath one of the garden's flower wreaths, clapping softly. "You..."
"Mm-hm..." Laughed Phacia quietly. "Well I did tell Allen to wait here, now that I think about it, a garden is a rather unusual place to wait for your audience with the King..." She smiled mischievously. Than paused before adding. "Maybe the two of you should separate a little, mmm?"
"R-right..." Nodded Marlene and Allen, stepping back from one another, somewhat embarrassed.
"Ah, is King Aston ready to see me, then, Miss Phacia?" Asked Allen.
"Yes." Nodded Phacia, "Right this way..." She led Allen out of the garden and Marlene was left standing there, with the breeze in her golden hair, and the warmth of his touch on her rosy cheeks.
"You knew that I would be in that garden then, didn't you?" Marlene asked Phacia, later that night, tiredly.
"Yes." Answered her confidant.
"And you sent Allen there so we would meet?"
"That's right."
"And the music, did you arrange that, to?" Asked Marlene.
"Well I did tell the bands that the east side garden was a lovely place to practice their recitals... I guess you've got me all figured out then, huh, princess?" Smiled Phacia.
"But why?" Asked Marlene. "That wasn't--"
"Well I knew you wanted to meet him and when I saw him-well, he certainly is handsome, he seemed really nice too. So I thought it would be nice, you know? The two of you seemed to be getting along quite well when I came by, anyway."
"Umm.." There was no denying /that/, Marlene looked away and felt herself blushing slightly. "He is handsome and he is nice and I do--"
"You do..?" Phacia prompted gently.
"Oh I do want to see him again!" Cried the princess. "If only.... I could."
"Whatever do you mean?" Asked Phacia.
"Well I'm a princess and he's a knight so...it..."
"My you do pick depressing topics for conversations don't you, Marlene? If you want to see him again well, anything is possible. Haven't I taught you anything at all?"
"Oh?" Asked Marlene, looking up. "Really? Do you think so?"
/As the memories returned to her, Marlene's weakened pale body writhed
among the bed sheets, cold sweat on her forehead had matted her hair and, though
she no longer felt any of it, she heard the body moan softly, it was over, it was
the ending of everything, but the ending would never come quickly, she felt, and
she wasn't sure she wanted it to because, though she was beyond any feelings of
fear or denial from her present condition she longed for more memories of summers
with him, Allen Schezar, and how she wished she could repeat them. As though
echoing from a far away place in the distance she thought she heard Phacia's
voice, now low and sorrowful saying something that sounded like, "You others may
leave now, it's too late, there isn't anything more any of us can do for her
now." But it wasn't over yet, no, she felt, there was more to be remembered...../
The following summer weeks held many 'secret' meetings for Marlene and Allen in the castle gardens, 'secret' because it was plainly obvious that her father the King of Asturia would never approve of such a relationship. The two of them sat in the garden and talked, Allen entranced her with his stories of being a Knight Caeli for Asturia. Stories of places he had been, battles he had fought, his Guymelef (an awsome machine which she had only read of), his late mother and beloved younger sister who had somehow vanished years ago. The princess was absolutely taken by Allen's stories, his lovely voice, and the sweet look of sorrow that traced his eyes whenever he mentioned his long-lost sister.
After a while they began to sit together on the grass near a marble fountain and pool and Marlene would rest her head on Allen's shoulder and with closed eyes, take in every word he spoke. "You've been to so many places," She told him one day, sadly, "The only other worlds I've visited are in books and parchments."
"Really? Maybe I should take you with me, sometime." He told her.
Marlene laughed, "If only that were possible but I was made a princess."
"Most girls would be happy to be a princess," Said Allen, "Especially such an elegant one."
"Elegant? You think me so?" She asked, feeling his hand running up the back of her neck. "I never saw myself that way."
"That is what makes you so elegant." He told her, carefully tilting her head back.
As their lips met a tingling sensation ran through her body, like a shiver,
only rather than cold, warm. The warmth spread through her as Allen cradled the
back of her neck and gently lay her down on the cool grass, and moved over her,
pressing his lips against hers, and down her neck, as he ran his fingers through
the locks of her shimmery blonde hair. And in that instant Marlene knew, this
was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. The one she wanted
to be near always.
/The last memory had been so lovely, yes, her first kiss. They had kissed
and kissed that afternoon, passion flared between them, erupting, in the garden
among the cherry blossoms and sweetly scented roses. Now, so many years later she
lay there, longing for that sweet memory, that glimpse of a beautiful past, a
golden summer. Of course both of them had always known that the love was a young,
foolish thing, a thing that was forbidden and could never possibly grow any
further beyond those secret afternoon meetings in the garden and so every time
they were together there was also a shadow of sorrow and pain so deep and dark
it gnawed at them quietly the entire time they were together. If only her other
loved ones could have understood, if only they would have allowed her to remain
with Allen for all of ever......../
Her pink and pearl coloured gown flowed and swirled gracefully around her long slender legs as she gracefully descended the palace staircase, doing a little twirl at the bottom and all the while humming a little piece to herself that the bands had been playing earlier, it was called something like, 'I Don't Need Promises.' She looked in one of the numerous mirrors in the hallway and smiled at herself, happy and gleeful for the first time in a long time...maybe ever. For once she was actually happy to be alive, she looked forward to each rosy morning of each beautiful day and another opportunity to meet with her knight.
"Sister..." A voice behind her startled Marlene, she turned to see Eries, her younger sister by only a few years, there was a concerned expression on her face. "Sister you have to stop seeing this-this-'Allen Schezar', please you must."
"No!" Was Marlene's only response after quite getting over the shock of such a rude question. "Besides what business is it of yours, anyway, Eries? And how do you even know about us?"
"I saw you in the garden and.... listen," Said Eries. "I don't want to see you hurt, Marlene and you know that it can never work out because your a princess and he's neither a prince or a lord..."
"Oh be quiet!" Interrupted Marlene, a little harsher than she had intended. "Be quiet! I didn't ask for any of this! I would have been much happier if I was born a regular girl!" With that she turned and ran down the hall, she had been in such a good mood and than her sister had to go and spoil it all...but...she thought, slowing down, Eries looked a little sad just then. "I shouldn't have yelled at her." Said Marlene to herself. "So I'll have to apologize, than."
Reluctantly she turned back and walked back to her sister, "I shouldn't have yelled at you just now, Eries, you are only trying to be nice...but you can't understand...I love him." She said, it sounded dumb, she knew, but it was impossible to cage the emotions she was feeling with words. So instead she sighed and embraced her sister. "I know you're only trying to help. I love you and Millerna. You are my cute little sisters."
Eries forced a painful smile, "I love you sister, that's why I need to say things even if you don't want to hear them."
"Yes...I know that."
That evening at dinner Marlene winced at her father's insistent talk of marriage, she always tried to avoid it, steer around it, she really didn't want to think about marrying anyone at all. She hated the idea of being sold off to some other monarchy as a possession, an item, an object a thing. She had tried dropping some hints about who she would like to marry, but she was to scared to actually come forth and tell her father, or anyone but her trusted Phacia about Allen.
At that fateful dinner, however, her father spoke words that made her heart freeze in her chest and her fork slid from her fingers and clattered to the table against her plate. "I've found a good husband for you, Marlene, Mahad Dal, the king of Fried, a nice little country, it's all been arranged now, your marriage is to be held in only a few moons time. ............." Whatever else he may have said was lost to the princess in a blur of meaningless mess, through her heart was a painful buzzing which rose into her ears and and clouded her vision.
She told herself in a strict a tone as she could manage, 'no don't you dare cry, girl!' Only, perhaps this was to strict a tone because it made her feel even worse, "I see.......thank you. I'm not feeling well, goodnight." She managed to say, or rather, she heard herself say as she rose and went to her chamber, blindly, numbly, it didn't matter now, nothing mattered at all.
Quietly the princess sank on to her bed and lay there numbly, she felt the
cool wetness of tears running over her face but was to numb and tired to make any
sound or movement, even to pull the covers up around herself. She heard the
familiar voice of Phacia in the doorway, who must have followed her up from
dinner, but she Marlene couldn't even get the words "Go away." To pass through
her lips so she simply rolled over with her back to her confidant and buried her
face in the satin pillows with no more desire or will to live.
/No, but no, these memories now were to sad, to painful, she couldn't bear
to relive these dark times, no, she told her mind, stop, please, I want only to
stay with Allen, why does life half to go on so fast and leave us in the dust of
the past, clinging to faded ghosts that used to be there..? Suddenly the voice
of Phacia came again, through the darkness and distance, faded and distorted but
unmistakably sad, "Please Marlene, do not leave me....and what of Chid? You have
a young and beautiful son who needs his mother to raise him...he is still so
young, Marlene." Chid? Ah yes, Chid, her son, the result of forbidden love from
a night so long ago...../
Allen sat with her in the garden, talking to her softly, "Are you sure nothing's wrong, princess?" He asked.
Marlene shook her head again, she didn't want to tell him. Not yet. "Why do you always call me princess?" She asked. "Allen...I hate being a princess..."
"I am sorry.." He kissed her hand and pulled her close to him. "Marlene," He said softly in her ear. "You seem so sad lately, can't I help you..?"
She thought for a minute and then told him, "Allen..." She began, "Would you come to see me again.."
"Of course."
"No, not in the garden, tonight, in the palace..."
Later that night she stood quietly in the darkened door way of her room, watching the figures in the hallway move about, finally, she saw him, Allen Schezar. "Marlene...you wanted to see me."
"Yes Allen..." She said, now her voice was almost choked with tears, she couldn't help it, and felt one of the tears from her eyes slide all the way down her face and fall to the floor.
"Marlene....what's wrong?" He asked, caressing her face in his hands, "Marlene..."
"Allen....I'm afraid that after this summer I shall no longer be able to see you....I'm...I'm being married to the king of Fried, Mahad Dal and I...I...." She choked and felt herself sobbing as he pulled her close to him and crushed her against his chest.
Allen held her close and ran his hand through her hair tenderly. "Marlene....I'm sorry....I'll stay with you tonight....so don't cry....I'm right here."
Allen pulled her close and kissed her tears away. "But Allen, I don't want to lose you...with you...for the first time....I..." But she was choked by tears and could not continue.
"It's alright, Marlene, I'm sure you'll be happy...."Than he slid off his
blue and golden ring, it had the Schezar family crest on it, he kissed it softly
and slid onto her finger. "Think of this as a would be engagement ring." He
smiled, "I'll always be with you as long as you wear this ring..."
/Oh how she would have loved to dwell on memories of that night forever,
her only child, the young blonde haired blue-eyed Prince Chid zar was the result,
the Mahad Dal never knew, thought it was his own son. It seemed nothing short of
tragic, in retrospect, how she had always told her son of the dashing, noble
knight who never fell in battle, Allen Schezar. So maybe one day Chid could meet
him and no the truth about who his father was. As for the ring, had she worn it,
she had never taken it off since that night. But she could not carry it with her
in death so one last thing was to be done, "Phacia..." She said, or rather tried
to say, forcing each muscle in her mouth to return to life, to make one last
parting request, "Phacia, give my ring to Chid....you know which one..."
"Of course..." Came a very choked reply./
The next few days were to busy with wedding preparation and chaos for her to see Allen, but finally, on the morning of the day she was to be wed to the Duke of Fried she found Allen in the palace gardens, were they had first met. She approached him quietly and hugged him from behind, tightly wrapping her arms around him. "I wish I could hang on to you forever.....I love you...Allen."
".....I love you to." He told her, his voice was strangely more quiet that day, she thought. It hurt to much, why would two people who love each other so much be made to part? But such was the fate of knights and woman born of the royal blood. There was nothing either of them could do about it, though.
Later, dressed in a regal white gown she walked slowly, solemnly through her wedding, concentrating on each step before her, concentrating on breathing and doing what had to be done. In the distance she could hear her youngest sister Millerna shouting goodbye and all around her the sound of happy people, her time with Allen was over, and so was any part of her life that held any meaning.
She watched the ground disapear as the airship lifted her into the heavens,
she watched Allen, and she saw his eyes following her up, she watched and reached
out for him with all of her heart, as the airship pulled her away, away she was
flying, but not like she had with Allen, in the garden, surrounded by the scent
of flowers and the sounds of music. . .
/"And.....to his lordship the Duke...." She began in her weak, dying
voice, it was hard to force out her words, she knew the end was coming.
"I'm right here, Marlene." Came the familiar voice of her husband. It wasn't that
she hated him, he was a nice man, she thought and forced out a farewell for him.
As soon as she had said her final word the sound of music seemed to fill the air
around her, music, the very same song that had played in the garden the time she
had met Allen Schezar, the song they had danced to. As she listened the song
became louder and louder, until it was like thunder echoing in her mind and she
was carried away on the sent of cherry blossoms....
Somewhere in the distance just before she left Marlene thought she could here
Phacia whispering to her, "You can finally fly away, Marlene, you can finally fly
away."/
Alone for a while I've been searching through the dark
For traces of the love you left inside my lonely heart
To weave by picking up the pieces that remain
Melodies of life - love's lost refrain
Our paths they did cross though I can not say just why
We met, we laughed, we held on fast, and then we said goodbye
And who'll hear the echoes of stories never told?
Let them ring out loud till they unfold
In my dearest memories, I see you reaching out to me
Though you're gone, I still believe that you can call out my name
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding to the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on melodies of life
To the sky beyond the flying birds - forever and beyond
So far away, see the bird as it flies by
Gliding through the shadows of the clouds up in the sky
I've laid my memories, do you remember loving me?
Leave them now and see what tomorrow brings
In your dearest memories, do you remember loving me?
Was it fate that brought us close and now leaves me behind?
A voice from the past, joining yours and mine
Adding to the layers of harmony
And so it goes, on and on
Melodies of life
To the sky beyond the shining birds - forever and beyond
If I should leave this lonely world behind
Your voice will still remember our melody
Now I know we'll carry on. Melodies of life
Come circle round and grow deep in our hearts,
As long as we remember....
