Title: Trading Faces
Rating: PG-13, just because I feel like it.
Warnings: Profanity, violence, eventual 1x2 pairing, etc.
Disclaimer: Nope, they aren't mine. But I like to pretend that they are. Guess I'll have to settle for owning this story (not a fair consolation if you ask me…)
A/N: Wow, it took me much longer than I expected to get this done … I hate midterm week. Sleep deprivation and lack of free time is not fun. But it's basically over now! Yay! Very big thank-yous go to: Midnight, Terrasa, Tori Sakana, Elle-FaTe2x1, Natasha, Hellcat, lillie chan, Solus Nox, LB, shinigami angel, Violet Yuy-Maxwell, Demon Vampyre Goddess, Angel of Insanity, Foxfire, Liliku, Dreamer, DreamWeaver, SilverShinigami, Bryony, bunetwo, and Clairol for all of your encouragement. I wanted to reply to the reviews, but I don't want to delay updating anymore. I don't know what to think of this chapter … but here goes! Tell me how it is.
_ _ _
It was the dead of the night when the alert came. Heero was suddenly glad that he had decided against sleep as he dashed through the darkness of the house, knowing time was of the essence. He ran straight past Quatre and Trowa's room, realizing too late that it was illogical to go upstairs before warning the pair. It would be more efficient to notify them first, since they were the closest. But he kept on running, barreling up the stairs toward the room where Duo was sleeping.
He had to warn Duo first.
Because … because he didn't know why, he just had to.
Duo was sprawled across a good portion of the bed, a pillow clutched to his chest and the sheets tangled around his legs. Heero leapt onto the bed, shaking the boy. He didn't know why he was so anxious, but luckily his voice didn't convey too much of his shaken feelings.
"Duo, get up now," he said, adamant. Duo's eyes snapped open immediately; somehow he seemed to sense the seriousness of the situation, because he didn't roll over or complain about being woken up.
"Heero?" he asked, the single word holding an unspoken question.
"We have to leave. All of us. OZ knows we're close," Heero explained tersely. At that, Duo's eyes widened.
"Shit! How'd they find us?!"
"I'm not sure. It probably has something to do with the stunt you pulled with Une," Heero said. Duo opened his mouth to protest that it wasn't his fault, when Heero's hand shot out and covered his mouth. Okay, that was new.
"Save it," was all Heero said, and let his palm fall away. He shifted off of the bed, and Duo hastily flung the bedding away from him. Heero looked down at him, something nagging his mind. Duo seemed to notice his preoccupation, and glanced at him curiously.
"Heero? Why're you just standing there?" he demanded.
"Duo …" Heero began, and then he frowned. He had no idea what he wanted to say. Duo started getting his stuff together, his eyes still trained on Heero as he did.
"Yeah? What is it, Heero?"
"… Nothing," Heero shook his head, feeling sort of strange. He was always calm and precise with his words; he never spoke unless he knew exactly what he was going to say. "Just … tell Wufei, all right? I'll go wake Trowa and Quatre, and we'll meet to discuss plan of action in the kitchen. Two minutes."
"Sir yes sir," Duo said wearily, dragging a worn black duffle out of the closet and hastily filling it with his few belongings. Heero felt that nagging again, but he roughly pushed it aside and pivoted on his heel to leave the room. Now was not the time for doubts, he berated himself harshly as he took to the stairs once more.
He didn't bother knocking on Trowa and Quatre's door; he simply burst in, too focused to even care that they might be offended.
"Get up!" he barked roughly. "Pack your things and meet in the kitchen. We have to leave now. OZ." With that terse message he whirled out of the room, taking to the stairs once more. He had to get his things together as well. He'd already wasted precious time by going to Duo first …
He heard Duo talking to Wufei as he passed the solemn boy's room, but he paid the two no heed. Throwing his limited possessions together without even noticing what he was doing, he bolted back toward the kitchen where his laptop was set up. He arrived at the meeting place first, and he made use of the time by typing furiously at this computer. Quatre came into the room, his hair tousled and his face bleary, but he didn't complain. Instead he went silently to Heero's side, looking over the boy's shoulder.
"What's happened?" he asked softly.
"OZ is aware that we are close by. We need to decide where to retreat to. I'm searching for a suitable location now."
"Ah," Quatre nodded. "Perhaps I could help?" Heero gave him an askance look, then motioned to the chair next to him. The blond took it, his visage serious and strained. Well, Heero certainly didn't blame the boy for being worried.
Trowa filtered in next, followed shortly by Wufei. Heero glanced at the time on his screen, uneasy. It had been more than two minutes, and Duo was not down yet. Heero felt anger welling up inside of him; did Duo never take anything seriously?!
He finally did show his face, carefully expressionless with his bag slung over one shoulder and the disk clasped in one of his hands.
"I said two minutes," Heero snapped irritably. Duo rolled his eyes.
"Calm down. I didn't want to forget this," Duo retorted, waving the disk in the air to his defense. Heero snorted, and turned back to his computer.
"Our next move depends upon whether or not we want to split up. I have found two feasible locations that would accommodate all of us, and four others that would require us to split up."
"I would suggest sticking together," Quatre said immediately. "I mean, with your condition … I think we all need to help with this."
"I would have to agree," Wufei said, and Trowa just shrugged. Trowa was never too particular about anything; he would follow whatever decision the group made. Heero sighed. Normally he would have no problem making a decision, but now … now he didn't know what to think. He had to stay with Duo, that was not a question. If the others wanted to stay with them as well … he wasn't going to protest.
"What about this location?" he said, tapping the screen as he tilted the device so that everyone could see it. "It's approximately 250 kilometers from here, and would be discreet enough. It is near a rather large city, so it would be unlikely that we would cause any disruption that would alert people to our presence."
"Sure, that safe house is fine, can we go?!" Duo said, obviously impatient. Heero frowned at him.
"Are you even going to think about it?!" Heero demanded. Duo sighed.
"You wouldn't have suggested it if you thought it was unsafe. I trust your judgment. So can we just get out of here? I'd rather not have to fight at the moment, as much as I love kicking OZ ass." Heero looked to the others.
"It will do. Send coordinates to our gundams," Wufei said. Quatre and Trowa agreed, and Heero quickly did as Wufei asked. His hands abruptly stopped, a thought unexpectedly springing to mind. He looked sharply at Duo.
"Where are our gundams?" he asked, remembering suddenly that Duo had hid them after his capture. Duo offered a slight smile.
"Relax, Heero, they're nearby. I had a chance to go retrieve them both while you were catching up on the old beauty sleep." Heero frowned at the phrase, but he didn't say anything. For once, Duo had thought ahead. He snapped his laptop shut and shoved it in his bag.
"Well, that's that then, huh guys?" Duo said almost cheerfully, making his way over to the exit. "Everybody ready?" Without waiting for a reply, he threw open the door and marched out into the cool night air. He didn't know why they were wasting time; if they were in danger, he just wanted everybody out as fast as they could manage. Cursing OZ mentally for their annoying timing, Duo nearly missed the slight movements from beyond the walkway. Almost.
His gun was out the moment he sensed it, but the soldiers had reached for their guns first. He flinched as he flicked off his gun's safety, waiting for the piercing sting of a bullet to his skin as a shot shattered the peace of the night.
Except that the bullet came from behind him. It caught the lead soldier neatly in the throat, abruptly snuffing his life. Duo dodged to the side, firing as he went and turning slightly to nod his thanks to whoever had saved his ass. He was expecting to find Heero behind him, but instead he was met with the carefully solid face of a very determined blond. Quatre swiftly fired twice in quick succession, and then his urgent ocean eyes flitted to Duo's for a moment.
"Take Heero and get going," he instructed Duo, who snorted and sidestepped another poorly aimed shot. Most of the closest soldiers had been taken care of, but Duo could hear shouts from the other side of the house. There were more, all right.
"Yeah right, Q, like I'm gonna let you take them head on all my your lonesome," Duo replied lightly, though his voice was laced with adamant protest. Quatre chose to ignore it.
"Just go, Duo! Heero's not in top form yet, so get him out of here." He squeezed his trigger again, cutting down another soldier before he moved behind the relative shelter of the porch railing.
"Yeah? Well, Trowa's still hurt too!" Duo countered.
"And Trowa can make it to his gundam alone! You have to show Heero the way, so go!" Quatre snapped, losing his waning patience as a bullet splintered the wood at his side. He fired twice in retaliation, and was rewarded with a strangled cry. "Wufei and I will handle this, you three just go!"
"But …!"
"He's right, Maxwell! Get out of here," Wufei barked, suddenly beside Duo as he pushed him down the path.
"Tch, okay! I'm going, I'm going! Heero! The bus is leaving!"
"You baka!" Heero suddenly materialized at his side. "Be careful with the disk!"
"I'm not stupid!" Duo said, hurrying his steps into the darkness as he tried desperately to ignore the random bursts of gunfire behind them. "On your left!"
Heero's gun whirled and fired. Minus one curious ozzie, Duo thought morbidly.
"Where'd Tro go?" he asked, increasing his pace slowly to make sure that Heero could keep up. His companion matched his step without faltering, his scowl almost comforting.
"The other way," came the terse reply.
"Armed well?"
"Enough," Heero said dryly.
"How about you?"
Heero just gave him a look, and Duo smirked sheepishly.
"Ah, right. Stupid question," he said apologetically, shifting his bag irritably as it continued to smack into his back with every stride. "I don't mean to push you, Heero, but can you go any faster?"
"I'll manage. Just lead."
"But if you can't …"
"Just lead."
Duo 'hmph'ed at his stubbornness, but picked up the pace nonetheless as they dashed silently into the forest. The half moon provided enough light for Duo to remember his way, at the same time sheltering them in a darkness that kept them from being pursued.
They reached their gundams without any further trouble.
"No need to pilot each other's gundam since the others know now, right?" Duo asked, breaking the silence that they had maintained for most of their escape. Heero just shook his head, the once carefully-plaited braid frayed as it whipped around his shoulders lightly.
"Great. I'd rather take Scythe any day!" Duo said brightly, ignoring the chilled air as it bit at his bare legs. "You know, we should probably go different ways, just to be more discreet." Heero shot Duo a suspicious look then, but he grunted agreement to the statement. Duo was being far more serious than normal about the situation, but Heero wasn't going to complain. He thought he would be the one having to lecture the normally reckless young man.
"The coordinates should be waiting for you," he said tersely, turning toward his own gundam and stalking away from his partner. He had yet to shake the odd feeling that just wouldn't leave his mind alone …
"See you later then, Heero," Duo called after him. "And, Heero? Don't worry, ne? Just … don't worry."
Heero paused in mid-stride, turning back to stare at the other boy in confusion. Duo just smirked and gave him a playful salute, before turning and bounding toward the dark gundam. Heero frowned after him, but decided not to ask. What exactly had Duo meant by that?
He shrugged it off and started toward Wing again, ready to get out of the cold forest and back to a place where he felt comfortable. Maybe in Wing's cockpit he would be able to see things like they used to be.
Duo sat in Deathscythe's pilot chair, his fingers drumming on his knee idly as he waited for Wing to get out of range. Once he was satisfied that Heero was on his way, he broke into action. Ignoring the coordinates that Heero had sent him, he headed off in the opposite direction. Duo wasn't going to the new safe house. Not yet.
Ever since the night before, he had been restless. He knew this was what he had to do; he couldn't bear to see Heero again like he had been last night, lost and upset. So he had come up with a plan.
Duo was going to get some answers.
* * *
The ability to kill a man a thousand different ways without the slightest flinch? Forget it. Nerves of steel and resistance to every kind of torture in the book? No thanks. Skills that included setting one's own broken bones with complete indifference? Tch, yeah right. Duo had found Heero's real secret weapon. Who could resist a smiling, amiable Heero Yuy?
Certainly not the receptionist who was at that moment completely rapt in the winning smile that Duo had displayed on Heero's features. The woman was practically putty in his hands, completely oblivious and gullible. Hell, he didn't think it would be this easy …
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" the woman suddenly apologized, turning an embarrassing hue of pink as Duo paused, awaiting her answer. "What was your question again, Mr. Palmas?" Duo wanted to roll his eyes and smack some sense into this ditzy excuse of an office assistant, but instead he tugged at the name badge clipped to the lapel of his stolen coat and offered another smile.
"That's quite all right," he said softly, batting his lashes at the woman for good measure. Not like it was really necessary, he noted dryly. She was practically swooning like a little school girl. Not that he blamed her … clearing his throat, he continued. "I was just wondering if you could be so kind as to point me in the direction of a Dr. Mintelli? He wanted me to come by to assist him in some kind of analysis."
"Oh? I thought you were a student trainee … excuse me for saying so, but you seem a bit young to be a researcher …" she said, rather rudely in Duo's opinion. He gritted his teeth and tried very hard to keep his voice pleasant.
"I'm a quick study," was all he said, shrugging. "Perhaps you could contact him and tell him that doctor Vincent Palmas is here? He is expecting me, as I said." It was true enough; this Mintelli fellow was expecting a researcher named Vincent Palmas that day. Of course, the real Vincent Palmas was actually a middle aged man with a bald spot and exceptionally poor street smarts. It had been too easy for Duo to lift his pass and identity, leaving the man incapacitated for the rest of the day just for good measure.
The secretary did as he asked, blushing uncontrollably as he gave her a wink. Yeah, that's right, Duo thought smugly. You want to resist me, but you can't. I, Heero Yuy, am an official babe. It's a wonder Heero's never figured this tactic out before. After all, it's efficient. Right up his alley.
"Dr. Palmas?" the woman called him back to reality. "Dr. Mintelli says to come right away. Mr. Roussen here will show you the way." She motioned to a burly-looking security guard, and Duo managed to keep his smile as he nodded his thanks. This Roussen fellow definitely did not look friendly, and Duo's attempt at a greeting was shot down by a gruff scowl. The man turned without a word, trusting Duo to follow.
Duo was nervous for a minute; this guard seemed like the disgruntled, suspicious type. But he trotted along compliantly behind the man, putting on his most innocent face. He wasn't quite sure how Heero's features looked in the expression, but it must have passed the test. The guard didn't give him another glance after the first careful once-over.
"Ah, I can make it from here," Duo said when they reached a hall that appeared to be a dead end. "I assume it's the room at the end of the hall?"
"Yes," the guard said tersely. Eloquent fellow, Duo mused as he thanked the man warmly for all of his help. Yes, anyone even remotely suspicious that there was a gundam pilot in the building would have never given him a second glance. So far, it was working like a charm.
Duo bided his time going down the rest of the hall, bending to tie an imaginary shoelace until he was sure the guard had gone out of sight. Then he reached under his lab coat, reaching past his gun for a small roll of black cloth. Carefully unraveling the bundle, his eyes scanned the small metal tools and slender knives hidden there. Ah, the tools of a thief, a mischief-maker's best friends. Duo selected a few appropriate pieces before replacing the rest safely under his coat, and crept toward the panel next to the door. Time to cover his tracks.
He removed the panel cover easily, and carefully examined the wires beneath. Somewhere in that massive electric knot was camera feed. That would have to be eliminated.
Having looked over the electric blueprints previously in Deathscythe, Duo didn't have much trouble finding the wire he needed. A careful poke and prod, and the transmission of the events inside the room was no more. Replacing the paneling with a smug smile, Duo put his tools away and ran his ID card through the card reader in front of him. The lock clicked open, and Duo reached to open the door with one hand as his other sought out his gun.
"Ah, Vincent," the single man inside of the room greeted, his back turned as he bent over something on a table. "It was good of you to come so quick ..ly …" His words trailed off as he turned his face, eyes locking on a figure that was most definitely not Vincent Palmas. "Who the hell are you?!"
"Don't say anything," Duo growled, pointing the gun at the man as an incentive while he made sure the door clicked shut behind him. Then, with a swift movement of his arm, Duo slammed his gun into the electronic lock box next to the door. Sparks flew, effectively immobilizing the door from the outside, and Duo smirked.
"There we are, just us two," he said calmly, moving his gun casually back to the startled researcher.
"Who are you?" the man repeated, less forceful now that it was obvious who was in charge. He glanced nervously at the small camera mounted in the corner of the small room.
"Ah ah ah," Duo clucked his tongue. "No help there, I'm afraid. It will be a good ten or twenty minutes before anybody has a chance to notice that this room's monitoring equipment is having a slight malfunction. No need to be so tense, Doctor. Just got a few questions for you."
"You're insane if you think I'm going to help you," the man snarled, his hands gripping the table behind him as he stared defiantly at Duo. Duo laughed.
"Aw, come on. You guys owe it to me, after you fucked me up so bad. I'm not gonna shoot you, ya know. Not if you tell me what I need to know." Without waiting for a reply, Duo rummaged in the wide pocket of his coat before pulling out the disk. He tossed it casually on the table between them, watching the man's reaction intently. "Look familiar?"
"I … don't know what you mean," the man gritted out, his eyes locked on the device. Bullshit, Duo's mind supplied, and he strolled up to the table's edge nonchalantly.
"Oh, is that so?" he said, his voice soft but laced with malice. "Why don't you come touch it then, hmm?"
"I … I don't understand," the man said, his voice shaking. Duo snorted.
"I know what it does," he informed the nervous researcher. "What I want to know is what exactly it is, how many of them exist, and how the hell to manipulate it."
"I don't …" Duo calmly flipped the safety off of his gun, smirking. The man fell silent.
"Go on. Tell me."
"It's … I know very little," the man said. Duo knew he was being honest from his expression, but he pressed the man anyway.
"Just talk."
"It is a project of a colleague of mine, or was," the man said, his eyes growing hard for a moment. "He was killed."
"The Gordon Research Facility explosion, I know," Duo waved his free hand dismissively. "What do you know about the disk?!"
"It isn't called a disk. He called it …" the man paused, pinching the bridge of his nose in stressed thought. "A protean modifier, I believe. It was still in the testing phase. As far as I know, he only made one prototype. He was still trying to get the calculations just right …" Duo didn't know whether to sigh relief or feel nauseous. So there weren't any other disks, that was good. But the disk in existence was still in the testing phase; it was unstable. Just great.
"Blah blah blah," Duo rolled his eyes. "Just show me how it works, huh?"
"I don't know," the man said, exasperated. "I certainly didn't invent that monstrosity, and the man that did is dead. I can't tell you anything more."
"I know that the Gordon facility worked in conjunction with this one," Duo growled. "That means you have files on this protean whatever-you-called-it?"
"I'm sure it's in our databases, yes …" Duo headed pointedly toward the room's main computer. He eyed the researcher coldly, and motioned to a chair with his gun.
"Sit there, don't move," he ordered, utilizing Heero's more frightening qualities. The researcher, intimidated, did as he was asked. Duo's free hand flew over the keyboard, accustomed enough to one-handed typing to get by as his other hand pointed the gun idly at the researcher. Since the computer didn't require hacking, Duo found what he wanted with ease. He pulled a CD from beneath his coat and inserted it, copying everything he thought might be useful. The researcher watched him nervously.
"How did you get your hands on that protean modifier, anyway? Only certain people in our ranks know of it to start with, let alone others …"
"Accident," Duo replied, truthful but terse.
"And why do you care so much? I would destroy that device, if I were you."
"Believe me, it would be my pleasure," Duo sighed, retracting his CD and slipping it into its case once more. "I'm gonna smash it to bits the moment I don't need it anymore." The man frowned at him, and suddenly his eyes widened in understanding.
"You used it, didn't you? And it worked?"
"Yeah, so what?!" Duo snapped, highly irritated. "Tell me, is this the only other research facility that has information about this device?"
"I think so."
Duo didn't believe him, but he kept his mouth shut as he hit a few choice keys on the computer. He watched as all files containing information about the disk were eradicated from the database. The command he entered would make sure back-up files were destroyed as well. He would have to make sure OZ didn't have files elsewhere in his free time.
Standing again, he went to go scoop the disk up. The researcher watched him curiously.
"Were you affected? Were you one of the ones modified?" he asked. Duo glared at him dangerously, and the man smirked. "I see. It really does work then."
"Not for long, you sick bastards," Duo hissed. "You're all fucking sick, you know? I'm going to make sure you all pay for this. Tell me about using it to change people back."
"I'm afraid I can't do that," the man said, his expression arrogant beneath his fear. "I'm not sure that it was designed to work both ways."
"Fuck you!" Duo growled. "It's going to work both ways. It has to!"
"I suggest you just get used to the body you have, young man."
"I suggest you shut your damn mouth!" Duo lunged at the man, using the base of his gun to knock the man to the floor in an unconscious heap. Sniffing indignantly as he looked down at the crumpled figure, he put his gun away and shoved the disk in his pocket before pulling out a small detonation device. No need to let this facility keep functioning, now that he had what he needed. Patting the information CD to reassure himself, he swiftly set up the detonator and headed out of the room. Blowing up the place was a bonus, but it didn't make him feel much better. The researcher's words echoed in his head as he discreetly left the building, haunting him the whole way.
'I'm not sure that it was designed to work both ways. I suggest you just get used to the body you have, young man …' He didn't want to get used to this body! He wanted to be himself again. He wanted Heero to be himself again. So they could …
So they could what? Duo didn't know.
* * *
It had been a near twenty four hours since he had slept last, and Duo couldn't take it anymore. He was stressed, and that didn't help matters. Knowing full well that the others were probably worried, seeing as he never arrived at their rendezvous, he found a tactful location to hide Deathscythe so he could take a quick nap. They would have to wait for him a little longer.
As soon as he was settled in, sleep came almost instantly. Duo was glad, wanting to forget, just for a little while, the terrible situation he was in. But the dreams awaiting him were no more pleasant than reality.
He stood nervously, clutching his Hiruko[1]-chan by the tail in one tight fist. The poor, tattered stuffed animal was missing an ear and was worn to the stuffing in places, but he loved his lifeless friend. He looked like a bear except for his long tail, which he often used to drag the toy around. 'Kaasan had made Hiruko for him a long time ago, and he always kept him near. 'Kaasan said that Hiruko would protect him when he needed to feel safe, and he certainly needed it now. He frowned at the thought. 'Kaasan said that she had to go away for a while. Why did she have to go?!
" … 'Kaasan, onegai …" he whimpered, pleading. Mommy, please …
She looked away from him then, her feathery, dark locks falling in front of her face. A wave of panic surged through him; why wouldn't she listen to him?!
"Mommy … don't leave me here," he said desperately, his small hand fisted tightly into the delicate material of her skirt. A slightly trembling hand reached down to caress his hair. Slowly, ever so slowly, her face turned back to him.
"Baby, please don't make this hard," she said softly, her face so tired. Why was his mommy so tired? Was she tired of him? His fist tightened, white knuckles looking as if they were about to burst.
"But Mommy, I don't want to be here alone!" he protested, pouting up at her. "I'm not old enough to be all alone." At that she chuckled, but it wasn't a good laugh. It wasn't the way his glorious mother used to laugh. It made him scared. She gently pried his hand from her skirt, and knelt down so that they were eye to eye. Her hand reached up to hold his cheek.
"But Baby, you are," she whispered almost wistfully. "You've gotten so big, my handsome boy. Go on, show Mommy how big you are. Show me how many you are." He stuck his hand out in front of him, holding up four chubby fingers silently. She smiled then, such a sad smile.
"Such a big, brave boy you are," she said softly, petting his cheek again. "You see? Everything will be fine, Baby. Everything will be fine …" His mommy started to cry then, tears running down her perfect porcelain cheeks. Another wave of fear hit him; his mommy wasn't supposed to cry. He reached out with his free hand to cling to her, his other hand still firmly fisted around his toy. She pulled him into her arms then, shaking with silent sobs.
"Take me too," he begged softly. He'd go with his mommy anywhere. He didn't care if it was scary or boring or even painful; if his mommy was going, so was he. But she pulled away from him, shaking her head.
"No … no, you stay right here. The place I am going is not for little boys," she instructed, her voice growing stern once more. "Do you understand me? Do you?"
He just nodded, watching his mommy with wide, fearful eyes.
"Tell me, then."
"I'll stay here, Mommy. I'll stay right here for you! When are you coming back? Before it's time for bed?"
" … I don't know, Baby. You must simply put yourself to bed if I don't return in time. Promise me that you won't leave this place."
" … I promise, Mommy."
"There's my boy," she said, offering him only a slight smile. "I love you more than anything."
"I love you too, Mommy," he replied automatically.
"A kiss before I go," she said simply, and he leaned in obediently to kiss his mommy's cheek. She kissed his forehead, and suddenly stood.
"Remember. Right here," she enforced once more. He nodded up at her.
"Yes, Mommy."
And quite suddenly, she had left him all alone. He stared at the doorway for a long time, tears threatening his eyes. Everything was so big and scary when he was all alone. He lifted his stuffed animal to his face, shaking the creature suddenly as he scowled his distress.
"You've been very bad, Hiruko!" he berated the animal, shaking it again in his small fists. "So now I have to leave you all alone! And I won't come back until 'Kaasan comes back for me! Do you understand?! So you'd better make 'Kaasan come back!" With that he flung the toy to the floor, and stomped away with his arms wrapped tightly around himself. Tears stung his eyes, and he was trembling all over on the inside. Was it too soon to see if 'Kaasan was back yet? He glanced at the doorway balefully, and sighed.
He looked over his shoulder at the fallen toy. The glass beads that made up Hiruko's eyes shined oddly, as if the animal was sad. He bit his lip, debating, and suddenly sprinted back to scoop the stuffed creature into his arms. Squeezing Hiruko tightly to his chest, he rocked his small body back and forth as the tears finally broke free.
"I came back for you, Hiruko. Gomen … gomen … I came back …"
But 'Kaasan never came back for him.
Duo awoke from the dream with a muted cry of panic, his hands reaching out to claw at something unknown. Coming to his senses immediately, he relaxed into his pilot's chair with a shuddering breath.
He felt such anguish for the poor little boy in his dreams. It had been him, but at the same time he knew it hadn't. He had never known what it was like to have a parent, a real parent … for the first time, he was slightly grateful that he had always been without. At least he had never been forced to deal with the bitter pain of abandonment.
It was a long time before his hands stopped trembling, and even longer before he could bring himself to close his eyes again. They were burning with unshed tears, tears that he tried to force to life. But it was no use.
Heero had been right about one thing, after all. The Perfect Soldier really didn't know how to cry.
Continued
[1] Hiruko – This is the name of the Japanese god of the morning sun, but I used the name because he was also considered the protector of young children. I needed a name, and thought it might be appropriate …