(Pony)
Cherry was up to her elbows in dishes when someone pounded on the door.
"'Course they wait for me to be covered in soap," she mumbled, drying her arms. "Who could that be anyhow?"
"Don't know," I frowned, pulling at Soda's old DX cap. I wished my hair would grow back. Cherry tossed the towel on the now clean counter and called "I'm coming!"
I slipped back into my room. I didn't like people to see me looking as bad as I did. I heard the door open and Cherry's soft greeting, answered by a polite but curt male voice. Five minutes later I heard footsteps coming toward my room, and a very pale Cherry poked her head in.
"Ponyboy," she murmured, "someone from the state is here."
"What?" I gasped, then burst into a coughing fit. I reached for the tissues; too late. Blood splattered all over the sleeve of my robe, and Cherry gasped.
"Oh my God! Pony, are you all right?"
I nodded. "It's normal," I tried to explain, but not before the social worker appeared in the doorway. "Coughing up blood is normal?" he asked sharply. I nodded and tried to clean my sleeve off as best as I could. "Is it also normal for your brothers to leave you alone during the day?"
"I ain't alone," I gestured impatiently toward Cherry.
"Are you normally?"
"What's it matter?"
"What's it matter? Ponyboy, as I understand it, you have terminal cancer."
"You savvy well," I snapped, trying hard not to shake. I wanted Darry, badly. He was always so quick on his feet when defending us. He'd explain everything; he always good, and everyone listened to and respected him because he was smart and strong and had sacrificed so much for us.
"I think I'd better go call your brothers," Cherry said softly, slipping out of the room toward the kitchen. I was relieved that she had cleaned the house for us; that was in our favor. The social worker opened the door to my room as wide as it would go, then placed his briefcase at his feet, knocked some books off a chair, and started pulling out papers and a notepad.
"I want to ask you some questions," he told me, "and I want them answered honestly."
"What for?" I demanded.
"This is a standard evaluation after a report's been filed."
"What report? Who filed a report?"
The man sighed, but I couldn't care less if he was impatient. "Your brother Darrel, filed. Now, are you or are you not alone during the day?"
But I wasn't listening.
Darry filed a report, I thought, tears suddenly stinging my eyes. What did that mean? Was he trying to get rid of me? Of course he wasn't, that couldn't be it, we'd gotten along so well, he'd been so good to me through all this. But what would he have filed? Maybe he doesn't want me anymore, him and Soda both, maybe they're tired of not sleeping and me throwing up and coughing blood, maybe they just want me to go somewhere else to die. My overactive imagination was loving this one, but I was ready to start bawling I was so scared. Because I didn't blame him if he had; why should they want me anymore? I was dragging them down with me.
"Ponyboy, are you listening?" the social worker snapped.
"I want my brothers!" I nearly wailed, digging my nails into my palms to try to calm myself down. "Well I'm sorry, but I'm not about to wait.........."
"Ponyboy," Cherry poked her head in the door, "Soda's on the phone. He wants to talk to you." I half ran for the phone, ignoring the sudden stabbing pains that were going through my lungs.
"Soda?"
"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay, kid?"
I swallowed hard, blinking back my tears. "I want you to come home."
"I can't get out of here right now, but I'll run back at lunch. Okay? Darry's coming home now though, so don't worry."
Don't cry don't cry don't cry, I told myself.
"I guess," I whispered.
"It's okay, Pon. Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're stayin' put, okay? Just relax."
Of course he'd understood. Didn't he always?
"Alright," I managed. "I'm alright."
"Good. I'll see you at lunch, 'kay buddy?"
I said goodbye and shakily hung up the phone, still trying hard not to cry. I closed my eyes, willing the tears back. I'll miss you, big brother, I thought, I'll miss you so much........
.......when I'm gone.......
Cherry was up to her elbows in dishes when someone pounded on the door.
"'Course they wait for me to be covered in soap," she mumbled, drying her arms. "Who could that be anyhow?"
"Don't know," I frowned, pulling at Soda's old DX cap. I wished my hair would grow back. Cherry tossed the towel on the now clean counter and called "I'm coming!"
I slipped back into my room. I didn't like people to see me looking as bad as I did. I heard the door open and Cherry's soft greeting, answered by a polite but curt male voice. Five minutes later I heard footsteps coming toward my room, and a very pale Cherry poked her head in.
"Ponyboy," she murmured, "someone from the state is here."
"What?" I gasped, then burst into a coughing fit. I reached for the tissues; too late. Blood splattered all over the sleeve of my robe, and Cherry gasped.
"Oh my God! Pony, are you all right?"
I nodded. "It's normal," I tried to explain, but not before the social worker appeared in the doorway. "Coughing up blood is normal?" he asked sharply. I nodded and tried to clean my sleeve off as best as I could. "Is it also normal for your brothers to leave you alone during the day?"
"I ain't alone," I gestured impatiently toward Cherry.
"Are you normally?"
"What's it matter?"
"What's it matter? Ponyboy, as I understand it, you have terminal cancer."
"You savvy well," I snapped, trying hard not to shake. I wanted Darry, badly. He was always so quick on his feet when defending us. He'd explain everything; he always good, and everyone listened to and respected him because he was smart and strong and had sacrificed so much for us.
"I think I'd better go call your brothers," Cherry said softly, slipping out of the room toward the kitchen. I was relieved that she had cleaned the house for us; that was in our favor. The social worker opened the door to my room as wide as it would go, then placed his briefcase at his feet, knocked some books off a chair, and started pulling out papers and a notepad.
"I want to ask you some questions," he told me, "and I want them answered honestly."
"What for?" I demanded.
"This is a standard evaluation after a report's been filed."
"What report? Who filed a report?"
The man sighed, but I couldn't care less if he was impatient. "Your brother Darrel, filed. Now, are you or are you not alone during the day?"
But I wasn't listening.
Darry filed a report, I thought, tears suddenly stinging my eyes. What did that mean? Was he trying to get rid of me? Of course he wasn't, that couldn't be it, we'd gotten along so well, he'd been so good to me through all this. But what would he have filed? Maybe he doesn't want me anymore, him and Soda both, maybe they're tired of not sleeping and me throwing up and coughing blood, maybe they just want me to go somewhere else to die. My overactive imagination was loving this one, but I was ready to start bawling I was so scared. Because I didn't blame him if he had; why should they want me anymore? I was dragging them down with me.
"Ponyboy, are you listening?" the social worker snapped.
"I want my brothers!" I nearly wailed, digging my nails into my palms to try to calm myself down. "Well I'm sorry, but I'm not about to wait.........."
"Ponyboy," Cherry poked her head in the door, "Soda's on the phone. He wants to talk to you." I half ran for the phone, ignoring the sudden stabbing pains that were going through my lungs.
"Soda?"
"Yeah, it's me. Are you okay, kid?"
I swallowed hard, blinking back my tears. "I want you to come home."
"I can't get out of here right now, but I'll run back at lunch. Okay? Darry's coming home now though, so don't worry."
Don't cry don't cry don't cry, I told myself.
"I guess," I whispered.
"It's okay, Pon. Nothing's gonna happen to you. You're stayin' put, okay? Just relax."
Of course he'd understood. Didn't he always?
"Alright," I managed. "I'm alright."
"Good. I'll see you at lunch, 'kay buddy?"
I said goodbye and shakily hung up the phone, still trying hard not to cry. I closed my eyes, willing the tears back. I'll miss you, big brother, I thought, I'll miss you so much........
.......when I'm gone.......