What If?
Mother
What if Satine never worked at the Moulin Rouge? What if they had met in another time, another place? What if there was no other angry man? What if Satine didn't have consumption? Would their love be perfect or would there still be hardships and struggles?
***
'Satine! Satine!' A little voice whispered over and over. Satine rolled over and half opened her eyes. Lilibet was kneeling beside her, shaking her arm frantically.
'What is it?' She murmured, trying to wake up. Next to her Christian was beginning to stir.
'I heard a noise.'
'What kind of noise was it?'
'I'm not sure.' Lilibet admitted. 'But it was scary. Can you come and see?' Satine began to rise but then felt the awful tightness in her chest and the dizziness in her head. She quickly lay back down again.
'How about you come and sleep in here?' Satine knew that if she got out of bed she would just scare the little girl. Lilibet climbed under the covers and promptly fell asleep, her arms and legs flung out.
'What's going on?' Christian murmured, his voice still thick with sleep. Satine rolled over and kissed his cheek.
'Nothing, darling. Lilibet heard a strange noise so she is sleeping next to me.'
'I saw you. You were going to take her back, weren't you?' Satine nodded. 'Are you feeling alright?'
'I'm fine...Honestly.' She said when she saw his look. 'It was just a little pan. I'll be fine in the morning.' She kissed him on the mouth and he responded as if it was to be there last ever kiss. 'What was that for?' She asked when she broke away.
'Whenever I hear you cough or see your pale face I feel that it's going to be the last time I see you.' He was looking down the bed, refusing to look at her. She took his chin, gently tilting it upwards so he had to look at her. For the first time she could see his eyes were filled with tears. She kissed on of them gently and she could feel the tears fall on her lips. Taking her thumb she wiped each eye.
'Hey, I'm going to get better. I know you're thinking about my mother but she was pregnant and she had been ill for a while. I'm a stong girl.'
'Strongest girl I know.' He sniffed then he looked up with big sincere eyes. 'I love you, you know.'
'I know. I love you too.' Satine smiled and they gently kissed. 'Would you like to hold me tonight?'
'More than anything.' Christian said, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed happily as her head rested under his chest. She knew that he was worried but he didn't realise he was that scared for her. Over the past few days he had refused to let her out of his sight. Now she knew why. Poor love, she thought.
***
Christian awoke to find the bed empty. He lifted his head to see if Satine was in the room but he was the only one there. Quickly, he got up and dressed before rushing downstairs.
'Where's Satine?' He asked the maid.
'I believe she is in the Master's study, sir.' The maid said. Christian thanked her and walked towards William's study. Before he reached the door he could hear the voices of his wife and father-in-law.
'But, Papa....'
'I'm sorry, Satine, but the doctor said you weren't allowed to go out for too long.'
'Can't we take the carriage. Mama's grave is by the roadside. I wouldn't even have to walk far. I just want to see her for a few minutes.' There was silence and then a squeal of delight from Satine, which probably meant that he had reluctantly given in. 'Thank you, Papa, thank you.'
***
'Satine, will you help me bake a cake?'
'Why do you want to bake a cake?' Satine asked, not looking up from her book.
'For Mama's birthday. I think she should still have a birthday cake, even if she can't eat it.'
'Can't Cook help you?'
'She's busy. Please?' Lilibet looked at her with big, brown eyes.
'Ok, ok. But I have to stay sitting down.'
***
A little while later the cake had been made and it was now out of the oven and cooling on the rack. Satine and Lilibet had finished cleaning up and where now licking the mixing bowl out. Christian wandered in, looking for Satine. She had sent him to bed about three hours earlier when he kept yawning. He refused, saying that she might need him. She replied, saying she would definitely need him if he didn't. Grudgingly he went but only after she promised to come and get him if she needed to.
'What are you two doing?'
'We've just make a cake for Mama.' Lilibet explained. 'Now we're licking the bowl out.' Satine held her finger out and he licked the mixture off.
'Mmm, not bad.' He said, sitting down. He reached over towards the cake. Satine slapped his hand. 'Ow!'
'That cake is not to be touched until tomorrow.'
'That was no need to hit me.' He said, rubbing his hand.
'Baby.' Lilibet commented. Christian looked at her. She ignored him and went back to licking the bowl.
***
The next day was chilly and both William and Christian tried to persuade her to stay at home but she refused. So at eleven o'clock the four siblings set out in the carriage. William and Christian calling out instructions to and about Satine. Satine rolled her eyes as she sat back.
'Don't you find it really annoying?' Joshua asked.
'Yes but I'm used to it so when they go on for too long I turn off.'
'I wish I could do that at school.' Kate said wistfully and everyone laughed. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the cemetry. Joshua helped the girls out of the carriage and they began the short walk to their mother's grave. Each of them had bought flowers and they carefully laid them on the grave. They quietly said a few words. Satine was the last one to speak. They turned around to walk back to the carriage but it was gone.
'Maybe he's just doing a lap of the cemetry.' Kate suggested. But after 15 minutes they realised he wasn't coming back.
What if Satine never worked at the Moulin Rouge? What if they had met in another time, another place? What if there was no other angry man? What if Satine didn't have consumption? Would their love be perfect or would there still be hardships and struggles?
***
'Satine! Satine!' A little voice whispered over and over. Satine rolled over and half opened her eyes. Lilibet was kneeling beside her, shaking her arm frantically.
'What is it?' She murmured, trying to wake up. Next to her Christian was beginning to stir.
'I heard a noise.'
'What kind of noise was it?'
'I'm not sure.' Lilibet admitted. 'But it was scary. Can you come and see?' Satine began to rise but then felt the awful tightness in her chest and the dizziness in her head. She quickly lay back down again.
'How about you come and sleep in here?' Satine knew that if she got out of bed she would just scare the little girl. Lilibet climbed under the covers and promptly fell asleep, her arms and legs flung out.
'What's going on?' Christian murmured, his voice still thick with sleep. Satine rolled over and kissed his cheek.
'Nothing, darling. Lilibet heard a strange noise so she is sleeping next to me.'
'I saw you. You were going to take her back, weren't you?' Satine nodded. 'Are you feeling alright?'
'I'm fine...Honestly.' She said when she saw his look. 'It was just a little pan. I'll be fine in the morning.' She kissed him on the mouth and he responded as if it was to be there last ever kiss. 'What was that for?' She asked when she broke away.
'Whenever I hear you cough or see your pale face I feel that it's going to be the last time I see you.' He was looking down the bed, refusing to look at her. She took his chin, gently tilting it upwards so he had to look at her. For the first time she could see his eyes were filled with tears. She kissed on of them gently and she could feel the tears fall on her lips. Taking her thumb she wiped each eye.
'Hey, I'm going to get better. I know you're thinking about my mother but she was pregnant and she had been ill for a while. I'm a stong girl.'
'Strongest girl I know.' He sniffed then he looked up with big sincere eyes. 'I love you, you know.'
'I know. I love you too.' Satine smiled and they gently kissed. 'Would you like to hold me tonight?'
'More than anything.' Christian said, wrapping his arms around her. She sighed happily as her head rested under his chest. She knew that he was worried but he didn't realise he was that scared for her. Over the past few days he had refused to let her out of his sight. Now she knew why. Poor love, she thought.
***
Christian awoke to find the bed empty. He lifted his head to see if Satine was in the room but he was the only one there. Quickly, he got up and dressed before rushing downstairs.
'Where's Satine?' He asked the maid.
'I believe she is in the Master's study, sir.' The maid said. Christian thanked her and walked towards William's study. Before he reached the door he could hear the voices of his wife and father-in-law.
'But, Papa....'
'I'm sorry, Satine, but the doctor said you weren't allowed to go out for too long.'
'Can't we take the carriage. Mama's grave is by the roadside. I wouldn't even have to walk far. I just want to see her for a few minutes.' There was silence and then a squeal of delight from Satine, which probably meant that he had reluctantly given in. 'Thank you, Papa, thank you.'
***
'Satine, will you help me bake a cake?'
'Why do you want to bake a cake?' Satine asked, not looking up from her book.
'For Mama's birthday. I think she should still have a birthday cake, even if she can't eat it.'
'Can't Cook help you?'
'She's busy. Please?' Lilibet looked at her with big, brown eyes.
'Ok, ok. But I have to stay sitting down.'
***
A little while later the cake had been made and it was now out of the oven and cooling on the rack. Satine and Lilibet had finished cleaning up and where now licking the mixing bowl out. Christian wandered in, looking for Satine. She had sent him to bed about three hours earlier when he kept yawning. He refused, saying that she might need him. She replied, saying she would definitely need him if he didn't. Grudgingly he went but only after she promised to come and get him if she needed to.
'What are you two doing?'
'We've just make a cake for Mama.' Lilibet explained. 'Now we're licking the bowl out.' Satine held her finger out and he licked the mixture off.
'Mmm, not bad.' He said, sitting down. He reached over towards the cake. Satine slapped his hand. 'Ow!'
'That cake is not to be touched until tomorrow.'
'That was no need to hit me.' He said, rubbing his hand.
'Baby.' Lilibet commented. Christian looked at her. She ignored him and went back to licking the bowl.
***
The next day was chilly and both William and Christian tried to persuade her to stay at home but she refused. So at eleven o'clock the four siblings set out in the carriage. William and Christian calling out instructions to and about Satine. Satine rolled her eyes as she sat back.
'Don't you find it really annoying?' Joshua asked.
'Yes but I'm used to it so when they go on for too long I turn off.'
'I wish I could do that at school.' Kate said wistfully and everyone laughed. Twenty minutes later they arrived at the cemetry. Joshua helped the girls out of the carriage and they began the short walk to their mother's grave. Each of them had bought flowers and they carefully laid them on the grave. They quietly said a few words. Satine was the last one to speak. They turned around to walk back to the carriage but it was gone.
'Maybe he's just doing a lap of the cemetry.' Kate suggested. But after 15 minutes they realised he wasn't coming back.