Rory-Longing For Your Touch
I wake up in a sweat. I'm still having those steamy dreams about Jess- the ones that leave me breathless and wanting more.
Once I am awake, I remember the events of last night. I can still feel his lips on mine and the way he made me feel.
I still have a boyfriend. I haven't broken up with Dean, I never will, I'll string him along till it's too late. Till a time when no matter what I do, everyone will get hurt. I know it's wrong, but so is everything I'm doing now. I'm starting not to care. I know I should, I've been raised to be sweet, but at times like this, I wish I wasn't. I wish I could be with Jess without all these complications.
Mom pulls me over to Luke's. I'm reluctant to go. I know he'll be there. I know my mom will notice my face go red when I see him. She'll ask questions and I won't know how to answer them. I should tell her. But my Jess infatuation is better left unsaid.
Jess watches me walk into the diner. He serves us coffee with out a word and continues to read. I keep my eyes on him the whole time. I can't stop looking at him. Mom notices that I'm distracted and I say I'm tired. I'm not going to tell her that I'm looking at Jess and thinking about how badly I want him. If I didn't have to be perfect, I'd take him right here.
He looks at me between pages, and I quickly turn away. Even though I know he knows I'm staring, I still don't want to be caught. I watch him scribble in the book. I need that book. I want to know what happens next in his life. It's my only way of getting inside of his head.
When my Mom leaves, he comes to sit in front of me and throws the book on the table. I pick it up- "The Fountainhead." I smile briefly and put it in my purse to read later. We sit in silence again, the sexual tension is building. We can both feel it. But we can't do a thing about it. Not here, at least.
I finally get up the nerve to look him in the eye. I try to convey how sorry I am for all of this, but I'm not sure my point got across. In order for him to really understand, I'll have to tell him, but I can't. I'm scared of what he'll think.
I see Dean across the street heading for Doose's. I give Jess a quick glance before getting up to meet my boyfriend. He catches my arm as I reach the door. I stare at his hand on my wrist, my eyes travel up his well toned body up to his eyes.
His head moves closer to mine, maybe he'll kiss me, but I know better. He whispers in my ear. "Calm down, everyone will see right through you. I won't bring this up, but if you ever need to talk, you know were to find me." His lips graze my ear and I start to melt into him. He steadies me, placing his hands on my shoulder. His touch burns, in the best way possible. I feel more alive than ever.
"I'll see you later," I whisper back, trying to secretly seduce him. I can see he's fighting for control. We both are, but we can't give into our instincts now. I run out the door to catch up with Dean before I do something I'll regret.
I wake up in a sweat. I'm still having those steamy dreams about Jess- the ones that leave me breathless and wanting more.
Once I am awake, I remember the events of last night. I can still feel his lips on mine and the way he made me feel.
I still have a boyfriend. I haven't broken up with Dean, I never will, I'll string him along till it's too late. Till a time when no matter what I do, everyone will get hurt. I know it's wrong, but so is everything I'm doing now. I'm starting not to care. I know I should, I've been raised to be sweet, but at times like this, I wish I wasn't. I wish I could be with Jess without all these complications.
Mom pulls me over to Luke's. I'm reluctant to go. I know he'll be there. I know my mom will notice my face go red when I see him. She'll ask questions and I won't know how to answer them. I should tell her. But my Jess infatuation is better left unsaid.
Jess watches me walk into the diner. He serves us coffee with out a word and continues to read. I keep my eyes on him the whole time. I can't stop looking at him. Mom notices that I'm distracted and I say I'm tired. I'm not going to tell her that I'm looking at Jess and thinking about how badly I want him. If I didn't have to be perfect, I'd take him right here.
He looks at me between pages, and I quickly turn away. Even though I know he knows I'm staring, I still don't want to be caught. I watch him scribble in the book. I need that book. I want to know what happens next in his life. It's my only way of getting inside of his head.
When my Mom leaves, he comes to sit in front of me and throws the book on the table. I pick it up- "The Fountainhead." I smile briefly and put it in my purse to read later. We sit in silence again, the sexual tension is building. We can both feel it. But we can't do a thing about it. Not here, at least.
I finally get up the nerve to look him in the eye. I try to convey how sorry I am for all of this, but I'm not sure my point got across. In order for him to really understand, I'll have to tell him, but I can't. I'm scared of what he'll think.
I see Dean across the street heading for Doose's. I give Jess a quick glance before getting up to meet my boyfriend. He catches my arm as I reach the door. I stare at his hand on my wrist, my eyes travel up his well toned body up to his eyes.
His head moves closer to mine, maybe he'll kiss me, but I know better. He whispers in my ear. "Calm down, everyone will see right through you. I won't bring this up, but if you ever need to talk, you know were to find me." His lips graze my ear and I start to melt into him. He steadies me, placing his hands on my shoulder. His touch burns, in the best way possible. I feel more alive than ever.
"I'll see you later," I whisper back, trying to secretly seduce him. I can see he's fighting for control. We both are, but we can't give into our instincts now. I run out the door to catch up with Dean before I do something I'll regret.