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After the talk with Sirius, Dumbledore took Remus to another room and they started to discuss different plans against death eaters and Voldemort. Sirius would have gone with them but none of the three men felt it was safe to leave Harry alone in his present state of mind, so Sirius had settled in a chair next to his godson and reassumed the game. After he had beaten Harry, the boy wasn't really paying attention, he sat back and looked him over carefully. He looked tired, even if he had had a full night rest he looked more worn out than yesterday. His face was blank, his dull eyes were fixed on a window but Sirius was sure he was not seeing anything.
Finally coming to a decision, Sirius sat up straighter. "Harry." He waited patiently till the teenager turned his face to him. "I was talking to Dumbledore and he suggested something to help you get out of this depression." His only answer was a light raise of the boy's eyebrow. "Madam Pomfrey could give you a deaging potion, you would turn back to a five year old for some time." Now Harry was frowning but Sirius could see a glimmer of longing in his eyes, it seemed Dumbledore had been right after all.
"How would that help?" His voice was soft. "If I turn back into a kid and just forget about all this when I turn back nothing will have changed."
Sirius's voice was gentle when he answered. "That's not how it works, Harry, you will still remember everything, it's just your body will change and so will your emotions. You have built walls all around you preventing even Remus and me to freely help you, you are trying to keep everyone away."
"I don't mean to, it's just no one has ever..."
Harry looked down sadly and Sirius took his hand. "No one has ever tried to help you and you don't know how to accept it, is that it?" Harry nodded. "That's how this potion can be of help Harry, you have learned to never expect help from anyone making it very difficult to anyone really approach you, this potion will break through it."
Sirius could see Harry was debating what to do within himself, his instincts were telling him to do it, they were giving him the chance he had always wished to have, yet he was struggling against that instinct. To take the potion would leave him completely vulnerable, not only to any death eater, but also to Sirius and Remus. They would be able to see him like the scared kid he was, without the brave front he almost always put up.
Sensing something of what Harry was thinking Sirius squeezed his hand gently, making him look up. "I know this must be very hard to you Harry, you don't like for people to see how you really are, what you really feel, but Remus and I love you no matter what Harry, I even would prefer if you don't act around us, I want to know how you feel and what you think at every moment. But it's your decision, Remus and I will help you no matter what. I just think this way it might be easier."
"I'll think about it."
Sirius nodded and let go of his hand. Standing up he hauled Harry to his feet and led him to the kitchen. "Lets start on dinner kid, God knows how long Albus and Remus will be in there."
Sirius could tell by the look in Harry's eyes that he was deep in thought and he just let the boy sit in one of the kitchen seats while he started on dinner. Every so often he could see the boy shaking his head, seemingly having an internal debate with himself. Nearly an hour later dinner was ready and Dumbledore and Remus joined them in the kitchen. By the glance Remus shot at Harry and then at him, Sirius guessed Dumbledore had told him about the potion. They sat down, Sirius once again next to Harry. While the three men talked Harry played some with his food, he really wasn't that hungry, he wondered if his eating habits would improve if he turned into a kid, at least Sirius wouldn't be on his case for that.
"Harry, please, eat."
Sighing, Harry started to work through the food under his godfather's watchful eye. He looked up and saw Dumbledore looking at him. Even if the old man's face was expressionless he could see a light twinkle of amusement in his eyes that made Harry somewhat irritated. Putting his irritation aside he finally finished his food and moved to do the dishes with Remus's help.
Not much later, Dumbledore said his goodbye's and left, reminding Sirius to owl him with his decision about the potion. When Sirius turned to the living room he saw Harry curled up in one of the couches looking blankly in front of him. He watched him carefully and saw his eyes were beginning to drop. Even if it wasn't that late, Sirius could see his godson was really exhausted so he moved to the couch and knelt in front of him, startling the kid a little.
"Come on Harry, lets get you cleaned up and put in bed, you look ready to fall asleep right here."
The boy nodded and sleepily stood up. This time Sirius didn't need to do anything, he just sat back on the toiled, waiting patiently till Harry finished. He knew Harry was embarrassed but he couldn't bring himself to trust Harry right now, he knew the boy was unstable and Madam Pomfrey had made it perfectly clear to not leave him alone.
Not ten minutes later, Remus brought up the potion and Harry sank into a fitful sleep. The two men went downstairs and Sirius sank into one of the armchairs, he looked intently at his friend when the other man took a place in front of him. He looked very tired, witch was no wonder considering the next night was a full moon, he knew Remus should be sleeping but they had an important matter to discus.
"Did Dumbledore tell you about the potion?"
"Yes he did, Patfood. Have you told Harry?"
Sirius nodded. "Yes, I did. He didn't look very sure about it, but I think he will finally want to do it."
"I thought he might." After a moments silence he spoke again. "You realise this is going to change everything, right? Now we are his guardians, as much as I don't like it he doesn't depend much on us. But after he takes that potion we will become his parents. That will entail a lot of new responsibility."
"I can't say I know what we are getting into, Moony. I have never taken care of a child, but I know I'm willingly to try my best if it is for Harry's wellbeing. Besides, Dumbledore wouldn't have suggested this if he wasn't sure we could do it. You know that man knows us better then we know ourselves."
Remus chuckled. "Yes he does, he's really amazing." The werewolf yawned and stretched. "Lets go to bed Sirius, tomorrow is going to be a long day."
Sirius nodded and they both went upstairs. Both men pecked inside Harry's room, only to see him sleeping fitfully. With a small sigh Remus closed the door and after saying goodnight they parted ways and went to their rooms.
To be continued...
A/N: Thanks for all reviews.
Free.
After the talk with Sirius, Dumbledore took Remus to another room and they started to discuss different plans against death eaters and Voldemort. Sirius would have gone with them but none of the three men felt it was safe to leave Harry alone in his present state of mind, so Sirius had settled in a chair next to his godson and reassumed the game. After he had beaten Harry, the boy wasn't really paying attention, he sat back and looked him over carefully. He looked tired, even if he had had a full night rest he looked more worn out than yesterday. His face was blank, his dull eyes were fixed on a window but Sirius was sure he was not seeing anything.
Finally coming to a decision, Sirius sat up straighter. "Harry." He waited patiently till the teenager turned his face to him. "I was talking to Dumbledore and he suggested something to help you get out of this depression." His only answer was a light raise of the boy's eyebrow. "Madam Pomfrey could give you a deaging potion, you would turn back to a five year old for some time." Now Harry was frowning but Sirius could see a glimmer of longing in his eyes, it seemed Dumbledore had been right after all.
"How would that help?" His voice was soft. "If I turn back into a kid and just forget about all this when I turn back nothing will have changed."
Sirius's voice was gentle when he answered. "That's not how it works, Harry, you will still remember everything, it's just your body will change and so will your emotions. You have built walls all around you preventing even Remus and me to freely help you, you are trying to keep everyone away."
"I don't mean to, it's just no one has ever..."
Harry looked down sadly and Sirius took his hand. "No one has ever tried to help you and you don't know how to accept it, is that it?" Harry nodded. "That's how this potion can be of help Harry, you have learned to never expect help from anyone making it very difficult to anyone really approach you, this potion will break through it."
Sirius could see Harry was debating what to do within himself, his instincts were telling him to do it, they were giving him the chance he had always wished to have, yet he was struggling against that instinct. To take the potion would leave him completely vulnerable, not only to any death eater, but also to Sirius and Remus. They would be able to see him like the scared kid he was, without the brave front he almost always put up.
Sensing something of what Harry was thinking Sirius squeezed his hand gently, making him look up. "I know this must be very hard to you Harry, you don't like for people to see how you really are, what you really feel, but Remus and I love you no matter what Harry, I even would prefer if you don't act around us, I want to know how you feel and what you think at every moment. But it's your decision, Remus and I will help you no matter what. I just think this way it might be easier."
"I'll think about it."
Sirius nodded and let go of his hand. Standing up he hauled Harry to his feet and led him to the kitchen. "Lets start on dinner kid, God knows how long Albus and Remus will be in there."
Sirius could tell by the look in Harry's eyes that he was deep in thought and he just let the boy sit in one of the kitchen seats while he started on dinner. Every so often he could see the boy shaking his head, seemingly having an internal debate with himself. Nearly an hour later dinner was ready and Dumbledore and Remus joined them in the kitchen. By the glance Remus shot at Harry and then at him, Sirius guessed Dumbledore had told him about the potion. They sat down, Sirius once again next to Harry. While the three men talked Harry played some with his food, he really wasn't that hungry, he wondered if his eating habits would improve if he turned into a kid, at least Sirius wouldn't be on his case for that.
"Harry, please, eat."
Sighing, Harry started to work through the food under his godfather's watchful eye. He looked up and saw Dumbledore looking at him. Even if the old man's face was expressionless he could see a light twinkle of amusement in his eyes that made Harry somewhat irritated. Putting his irritation aside he finally finished his food and moved to do the dishes with Remus's help.
Not much later, Dumbledore said his goodbye's and left, reminding Sirius to owl him with his decision about the potion. When Sirius turned to the living room he saw Harry curled up in one of the couches looking blankly in front of him. He watched him carefully and saw his eyes were beginning to drop. Even if it wasn't that late, Sirius could see his godson was really exhausted so he moved to the couch and knelt in front of him, startling the kid a little.
"Come on Harry, lets get you cleaned up and put in bed, you look ready to fall asleep right here."
The boy nodded and sleepily stood up. This time Sirius didn't need to do anything, he just sat back on the toiled, waiting patiently till Harry finished. He knew Harry was embarrassed but he couldn't bring himself to trust Harry right now, he knew the boy was unstable and Madam Pomfrey had made it perfectly clear to not leave him alone.
Not ten minutes later, Remus brought up the potion and Harry sank into a fitful sleep. The two men went downstairs and Sirius sank into one of the armchairs, he looked intently at his friend when the other man took a place in front of him. He looked very tired, witch was no wonder considering the next night was a full moon, he knew Remus should be sleeping but they had an important matter to discus.
"Did Dumbledore tell you about the potion?"
"Yes he did, Patfood. Have you told Harry?"
Sirius nodded. "Yes, I did. He didn't look very sure about it, but I think he will finally want to do it."
"I thought he might." After a moments silence he spoke again. "You realise this is going to change everything, right? Now we are his guardians, as much as I don't like it he doesn't depend much on us. But after he takes that potion we will become his parents. That will entail a lot of new responsibility."
"I can't say I know what we are getting into, Moony. I have never taken care of a child, but I know I'm willingly to try my best if it is for Harry's wellbeing. Besides, Dumbledore wouldn't have suggested this if he wasn't sure we could do it. You know that man knows us better then we know ourselves."
Remus chuckled. "Yes he does, he's really amazing." The werewolf yawned and stretched. "Lets go to bed Sirius, tomorrow is going to be a long day."
Sirius nodded and they both went upstairs. Both men pecked inside Harry's room, only to see him sleeping fitfully. With a small sigh Remus closed the door and after saying goodnight they parted ways and went to their rooms.
To be continued...
A/N: Thanks for all reviews.