The Pulitzinologist looked at the two stunned people sitting across from him, and chuckled. "You haven't seen anything yet," he warned them. "Here. Watch this." He put a video tape labeled "Jack and Shade's Wedding" into the VCR. The tape had been fast-forwarded to just after the wedding, as everyone spilled out of the church.
*~Videotape~*
A lady screeched, "Here they come!" as people ran from the church, surrounding an ecstatic Shade and a rather happy Jack, as well.
The photographer, eyeing the scene, decided that it was suddenly quite a photo op. "Let's get a picture. Close together now. The folks and then the grandparents. Yes, all the close family." He scrutinized everything until they'd moved just right for his taste. "Ahhh, hold that. Beautiful. And... smile! Congratulations!"
Jack walked over to where Blink stood. "I guess we finally did it, huh." He had a large grin covering his face.
Blink, a little jealous of Jack's happiness, said, "I don't think there's any doubt about that. You and Shade have been almost inseparable since you met in Dr. Dent's refresher courses."
Jack laughed. "Well to tell you the truth, Blink, that's the only reason I showed up in the first place." Blink joined into the laughter.
Shade cried out, holding up her bouquet, "Okay, you guys, this is it."
Jack smiled lovingly at his blushing bride. "Well, Shade's going to throw the bouquet."
Shade threw the flowers over her shoulder into the gathering of excited, eligible girls. Unfortunately, Shade had such an arm that she hurled it halfway across the cemetery in the church's yard. All the girls sprinted after it. Luckily, Kimet had wonderful traction in her dress shoes, and she reached the bouquet first.
Kimet held the flowers above her head, screaming, "I got it! I got it!" She flashed a grin at her boyfriend, Blink.
Jack and Blink watched, both chuckling a little. Jack grinned, watching Blink's beautiful girlfriend hugging Shade. "Hey big fella, looks like it could be your turn next, eh?"
Blink thought to himself about the ring that resided in his pocket. "Who knows," he answered mysteriously. Jack was either too happy or too dense to notice.
Jack's car came riding up then, a lovely old blue clinker of a car.
Jack smacked Blink a farewell on the arm, excited to get to the honeymoon suite at the local Holiday Inn. "Well, so long, see you Blink." He hurried over to where his new bride stood. "Guess we better get going now, Shade. Come on, hop in. See ya, Blink!" Blink hit the car hood twice, then everyone waved as the car drove off, honking.
Kimet sighed happily, standing next to Blink. "Oh, Blink, wasn't it wonderful? Didn't Shade look radiantly beautiful? I can't believe it. An hour ago she was just plain old Shade Munroe and now... now she's Mrs. Jack Kellyfrancissullivan!"
Blink smiled. "Yes, Kimet, Jack's a lucky guy." They began to walk through the cemetery. In the back of it shone a sign that read, "Scotton: The Abode of Elation". Kimet, smiling, agreed. She began to play with the bouquet she clutched in her arms.
Though Blink knew he should propose now, with Kimet already in such a gooey, romantic mood, he couldn't quite bring himself to it. Buying himself time, he lifelessly droned, "Uh, everyone knows that Shade is a wonderful little cook."
"Yes," Kimet agreed, thinking of how Shade couldn't even boil water without starting a fire. She wondered what was wrong with Blink.
Blink continued his facade. "Why Jack himself, he'll be in line for a promotion in a year or two."
Now a bit concerned for Blink's sanity, Kimet decided to humor him. "Yes." Everyone knew Jack would probably work at the same factory for fifty years without a promotion. He wasn't the sharpest crayon in the box.
Taking a deep breath, Blink, averting his eyes, decided to go for it. "Hey, Kimet."
Kimet, feeling the excitement in the air, looked up at him happily. "Yes, Blink?"
Blink swallowed. "I've got something to say."
Grinning, Kimet only wanted him to continue. She murmured, "Uh- huh," gazing at him.
He met her eyes for an instant, then looked away again. "I really love the... skillful way... you beat the other girls... to the bride's bouquet."
Kimet sighed. "Oh, Blink." She felt nothing but love for him.
Out ran Holiday and her chorus members, this time wearing outfits of teal and green. They began to play instruments. Blink smiled, happy that this was now working out. Looking into Kimet's eyes finally, he began to sing. There were a man and a woman standing on the steps to the church, and they sang backup for him.
The river is deep but I'll swim it. (Kimet)
The future is ours so let's trim it. (Kimet)
So please, don't tell me to prim it. (Kimet)
I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Kimet, I love you.
The light was too bright, I'll dim it. (Kimet)
There's a fire in my heart and you don't slim it. (Kimet)
If there's one fool for you then I am it. (Kimet)
I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Kimet, I love you.
Kimet nearly swooned at Blink's cuteness. She'd never seen a more beautiful guy, even if he did wear an eyepatch on his left eye and then glasses over it. They ran onto the steps of the church, and then Blink fell down to one knee. Kimet's eyes grew wide as she realized what he was doing. Blink, taking the look on her face as a positive one, continued to sing, holding out the engagement ring.
Here's a ring to prove that I'm no joker.
There's three ways that love can grow.
That's good, bad, or mediocre.
Oh, K-I-M-E-T I love you so!
Blink went to hug Kimet, but she was already running into the church, seeing if there was anyone she could show the ring too. Unfortunately, only the creepy couple who had been singing backup for Blink, and their plain daughter, were there. They seemed disinterested in anything but changing the church over from wedding to funeral decor, though they did sing along with her, backup, for her verse.
Oh, it's nicer than Shade Munroe's ring. (Oh Blink)
Now we're engaged and I'm tickled pink (Oh Blink)
That you can fix the kitchen sink. (Oh Blink)
I've one thing to say and that's Blink, I wink, for you too.
Oh Blink...
Blink sang back.
Oh... dammit!
Kimet, adoration shining in her eyes, sang to him too.
I wink...
Blink and Kimet began to practice the wedding march down the aisle as he sang.
Oh... Kimet.
Kimet spun around, ecstatic at the turn her life had taken.
For you.
Blink couldn't keep the grin off his face as he sang.
I love you too.
Together, they sang, looking deep into each other's eyes.
There's one thing left to do - ah - oo.
Now Blink sang alone again, with the dull family accompanying him again.
And that's go see the man who began it. (Kimet)
When we met leaving his science class (we skipped it) (Kimet)
Made me give you the eye and then pimp it. (Kimet)
Now I've one thing to say and that's Dammit, Kimet, I love you.
Dammit, Kimet.
Kimet sighed, without meaning to. She'd never known how much she cared about Blink. She couldn't stop herself from singing again.
Oh Blink, I wink.
Blink smiled as he sang back.
Dammit, Kimet.
Blink and Kimet joined hands, letting emotion take over. The dull family rolled their eyes as the couple sang the last line.
I love you.
Holiday and her band snuck out of the church before they were too terribly noticed.
Pulitzinologist's TV screen suddenly turned to blue. The couple exchanged glances. This didn't seem to horrible.
... If only they could see what they were in store for.