Shoutouts!
Maniac Conlon )( Camel Child? Heh heh! You crack me up, Timby. Sorry that Shawn tickles you all the time? I like the name Shawn though. How about you email me, huh? I don't have your email in my new addy book. It makes me sad. :( See, I'm sad. LOLOL! Anyhow. Thanks for the review hun!
kimimay85 )( Haha, I'm glad you fell out of your chair… okay, so you most likely didn't really… but ah well. This chappy's for you! Since you updated Band Camp for me. HOO HA! It's not very good, but I made myself write it. So yeah. There ya go. Here's yer knife.
misprint )( I know, I know, my genius in the last chapter is going to go unmatched for the rest of this story. I couldn't think of like ANY funny line to use instead of Time Warp, plus I love the dance in this, so I only changed a few things in the song this time. Your part, I changed. It makes me giggle even more now. Especially the part about the ducks… I was typing trucks and I was like, that looks like ducks and then I just typed ducks without meaning to… but it's funny… anyhow. I gave ya suspenders. And Mush wears knickers! Eat that! But yes, I'm so glad you loved the "Here's yer kniiiiiiiiiiiiife" of the last chappy! Me too! I was totally singing it for days. Which gets ya some pretty weird looks, let me tell you. Oh, and don't worry, Davey in his tighty whities will be strutting his stuff soon enough. Mis, you crack me up!!!!!!!!!!
rumor )( Haha, thanks goilie! Refilling the salt and pepper shakers is, I think, the best part of being a busser… cuz by that time it's all late and so you don't have to rush around cuz you're just waiting for a few tables to finish up… and you can sit down to fill them up… it's nice. :D Haha! Thanks for the review!
SilverMoonGoddess )( Happy birthday party a month late! LOL I'm almost on time… not… anyhow. Thanks for the reviewing, and yay for making people watch Rocky! I enjoy forcing people to watch Newsies. It makes me laugh.
Aki )( Thank you!!!!!!!!! LOL! Actually, I'm updating Untouchables tonight too… weird.
bittersweet )( Does the new kid in your school dress up in lingerie? If so, that is too cool for words and he is probably going to be suspended. I tried to make a new diary the other day, but FOD was being retarded and wouldn't let me do anything but read people's diaries. I couldn't even leave notes. So I went to check my email instead. haha!
Shade of Temair )( I take it, then, that you enjoyed it. Perhaps.
falco )( Hahaha! Thanks! Untouchables is being updated! Down! Sit! Stay!
The Spotty Whore Picture Show Chapter 4
The Pulitzenologist smiled at the young couple, still occupying his office. "And so," he droned, smiling a twisted little smirk, "it seemed that fortune had smiled on Blink and Kimet and that they had found the assistance that their plight required. ...Or had they?" He put in a new video tape, and everyone sat back to watch the show.
Kimet shivered. "Blink, let's go back, I'm cold and I'm frightened..." She pouted, just in case he missed the whining tone in her voice.
Blink wasn't to be easily swayed, however. "Just a moment, Kimet, they might have a phone!" he hissed, as he knocked on the door. It was opened immediately by a man with long, stringy brown hair and a skeletal face. He smiled at them charmingly.
"Hello," he droned, his smile growing wider.
Blink felt an immediate kinship growing. "Hi!" he exclaimed, shaking the man's hand. "My name is Blink Minors, and this is my fiancee, Kimet Nice." Kimet smiled, but it was a bit strained in comparison to the men's. Blink continued, "I wonder if you could help us. You see, our car broke down a few miles up the road... do you have a phone we might use?"
The man looked a bit confused as he countered, "You're wet."
Kimet nodded, and spoke to the dirty man as if she were talking to a five-year old: "Yes - it's raining."
Blink agreed.
The man seemed to think this over, then stepped aside, holding the door open wider. "I think you'd better come inside."
"You're too kind," Kimet told him. The two stepped inside the castle made of knives, and Kimet immediately clung to Blink. There were all sorts of other torture devices strung up on the walls, such as machetes of doom and slingshots. "Oh Blink," she whimpered, so that the man with the stringy hair couldn't hear her, "I'm frightened. What kind of a place is this?"
Blink provided the necessary answer with all the calmness of a woman in a bubblebath. "Oh, it's probably some kind of hunting lodge for rich weirdos." Kimet nodded, knowing this was probably truth.
The man stepped back into sight, and this time he was wearing a pair of knickers and a green shirt. "This way," he said, curling his spindly fingers in a beckoning gesture. The sounds of laughter suddenly emerged from a room behind a door that was covered in cannonballs.
Kimet was instantly intrigued. "Are you having a party?" she wondered ecstatically, her eyes wide. She simply adored parties.
The man smiled. "You've arrived on a rather special night. It's one of the master's affairs." His smile seemed to grow as he managed to elude questioning on the precise nature of the affair.
"Oh, lucky him," said Kimet hesitantly. She still didn't trust this man.
A woman with frizzy hair teased to its extreme point suddenly jumped from the chandelier on the ceiling. She cackled, "You're lucky, he's lucky, I'm lucky, we're all lucky!" Kimet gasped in surprise as this new creature, known as Mondieta, cackled loudly.
Holiday and her band hustled out of a closet decorated with samurai swords, and began to play the hesitant beat of a song that has lived in infamy since its debut.
Mush Mash, which is what the butler is called, suddenly began to dance around, despite his limp (which, Kimet figured, he probably got from some of the arms on display on the castle's walls). The camera man hustled around, trying to get the best shot, as Mush Mash began to sing. "It's astounding," he sang silkily, "time is fleeting; madness takes its toll. But listen closely..."
Mondieta, circling Kimet and Blink, much to their discomfort, sang forth, "Not for very much longer."
Mush Mash smiled at her as he took over his song again. "I've got to keep control." Mondieta smiled back, allowing him full power. Mush Mash burst out loudly, "I remember doing the time-warp… Drinking those moments when the blackness would hit me…"
Mondieta now joined in, "And a void would be calling..."
Suddenly, the doors that were smothered in cannonballs were shoved open. Inside stood Timber, BitterSweet, Gypsy, Jester, Tuffy, Tiger, and Moody, who all struck definitive poses as they shouted, "Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again!"
The Pulitzenologist stood up in his office. This was his favorite part of the whole video. "It's just a jump to the left," he sang.
As if they could hear him, everyone in the video had paused until he finished shouting his command, then they continued: "And then a step to the right!"
Continuing, the Pulitzenologist commanded, "With your hands on your hips,"
"You bring your knees in tight," everyone sang back. "But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane! Let's do the time-warp again! Let's do the time-warp again!"
Mondieta popped up behind Kimet and Blink, who were looking more than a little frightened. It was actually silly for them to feel so imposed upon, because they had already been singing throughout the other three chapters. That didn't seem to occur to them, though, as Mondieta sang huskily, "Mush Mash is so dreamy, oh fantasy free me! Since he can't see me, no, not at all. In another dimension, with somewhat cruel intentions, well-secluded, I see all."
Mush Mash determined it was time to take his song back, and he did so. "With a bit of a back flip," he sang, while doing a backflip to accompany the words.
"You're into the time slip," Mondieta crowed back.
Mush Mash cackled, "And nothing can ever be the same."
"You're spaced out on sensation," Mondie said, joining hands with Mush Mash and looking at him as if in awe.
He sang back to her, high as Prince: "Like you're under sedation!"
Everyone joined back in, "Let's do the time-warp again! Let's do the time-warp again!"
A girl came cartwheeling out, wearing a gold sparkly tapdancing outfit with red ruby slippers and a red sparkly newsie cap, with matching suspenders. She can only be described as Misumbia. Misumbia sang, "Well I was walking down the street just a-trying ta think, when this hunk of a guy gave me a gambler's wink! He shook me up, he took me by surprise: he was protesting pickup trucks and ducks with too many eyes! He stared at me and I felt a change…. Time meant nothing, never would again!" As she sang, she thought achingly of Racey, and then realized it was nearly time for her big tapdancing number, which she promptly went into.
The merriment and singing carried on for quite some time, with the Pulitzinologist, Mondieta, Mush Mash, Misumbia, and all of the random guests dancing and singing the chorus over and over. They had dance movements that went along, and it seemed that they had rehearsed for months. Finally, Holiday grew tired of playing the same thing, and cut off her band. They snuck back into their closet. All of the party guests and the three featured singers had struck poses, and seemed to be waiting for applause from Kimet and Blink.
Kimet elbowed her fiance. "Blink, say something."
Blink smiled disarmingly. "Say, do any of you guys know how to Madison?"
Kimet clucked her tongue, and rolled her eyes that her future husband was such a dork. Then she remembered his glasses over his eyepatch, and remembered that it shouldn't have been too much of a surprise that he was one.