Chapter 6 : Results and Payback Time
Back in Garden, the candidates were left alone to wander until the announcement for the results would be heard.
In the train back to Balamb, Miaka and Gackt couldn't stop talking along with Karl and Stacy but Carole and Squall both kept silent. They were not even sitting close which made Miaka and Gackt wonder what happened. The four students between them and chatting were not paying attention but the air was tensed and heavy. Carole was looking away, thinking about plenty of htings while Squall, looking away too, was thinking about nothing at all. It was the same thing in the car taking them back to Garden and once there, Gackt wished Miaka and the other candidates good luck while Squall simply walked away without a word.
I wonder what he was thinking about, Carole thought.
"So what? You're coming or not?"
"Huh?"
Miaka was heading to the elevator.
"Didn't you hear? They just announced the candidates must go to the 2nd floor hall for the results."
Carole scratched the back of her head with a shameful face.
"Sorry. I guess I wasn't paying attention."
The girls headed for the second floor where some other candidates were already waiting. Carole walked straight to the wall and leant backward against it. Miaka followed her and stood by her side.
"What's wrong?" she inquired. "You haven't said a word since we came back from Timber, no...Since we left Timber."
Carole turned to her long friend. There was a lot of concern on her face. It was like they never left each other though they've been away for more than ten years.
Miaka could easily see her friend was sad. Her eyes were filled with it. It was like she was just waiting to be alone to let it out.
"Is it because you're afraid to fail the exam?"
Carole lowered her head, shaking it.
"No, it's not that."
"Then is it Squall? It's about him, ne? But you were so determined to save him! It could have been the end of the world you would still have done it, ne?"
"It's... I... he..."
That's when a SeeD in uniform showed up with a list in hand. Every candidates stopped breathing and Miaka took Carole's hand in hers.
"The students that I'll name past today's field exam."
He looked at his list while some students were crossing their fingers, whispering some prayers. Others looked confident.
"Thomas, Karl from squad B; Chan, Sue Anne from squad A; Andersaon, Jenny from squad C..."
Some were already going sad but even though Miaka was called, she would be happy when she would hear her friend's name.
"And Marceau, Carole from squad A. You four are waited in Headmaster Cid's office."
"Yeah! Alright!"
The chosen students were jumping high, unable to hold their joy. Still jumping up, Carole and Miaka moved to the elevator.
"For those who were not called, don't give up hope yet. We'll be giving other results later. We have to evaluate this very carefully because of the difficulty level of this exam. We'll call you a little later."
Then he dismissed the students with a warm smile of encouragement.
In the office, the four chosen students were standing straight. When Cid faced them, they saluted. They were three girls and a guy. Cid gave the first girl her results, whispering something to her ear.
"Pay attention to everything. There will not always be people to watch your back."
She nodded.
Cid moved to the guy who was Karl.
"Think a little more about yourself than you partners. Someday, you might be a good leader."
He nodded and Cid moved to Miaka.
"Show a little more initiative and be a little more serious."
She nodded formaly.
When Cid moved to Carole, his face changed.
"Stay here for a while, I must talk to you."
She nodded, worried.
Cid faced the four students and placed his hands behind his back.
"I'm proud of you all. Welcome in SeeD. Do your best in the future. You're dismissed now."
Karl, Jenny and Miaka saluted before leaving but Carole faced the headmaster, still standing straight. Seeing her friend wasn't following, Miaka turned around.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"I must speak to her privately, you can leave."
"I would like to stay," Miaka insisted. "She's my best friend."
"As you wish."
Miaka stood by the door, her hands together.
"I never saw something like this before," Cid started.
He slowly walked right to left in front of Carole, growing nervous.
"You disobeyed your leader even though he made you the next leader, you still disobeyed a direct order."
Carole bit her lips. She couldn't 'explain' her point to him like she did to Squall.
"Plus, you disobeyed one of SeeD's rules which is a reason that could make you fail, you understand?"
"Yes, sir."
"Your disobedience cannot remain under silence. Your desobedience... which saved the leader of SeeD..."
Carole and Miaka both widened their eyes in surprise.
"What?!"
Cid smiled.
"...made us realize that you're right: a hundred life is not worth more than a single. Starting today, this rule will be erased. It will be a choice now instead of an obligation."
The girl sooner worried was smiling with shining eyes.
"Some witnesses said you showed a great determination to save him."
"Really?"
Cid nodded and stopped walking.
"So your action won't fail you because a life was saved and we lost nobody but next time, you'll be able to ask for help instead of acting by yourself, understood?"
"Yes, sir!"
He handed her the results.
"Welcome in SeeD, congratulations."
"Thank you, sir. Can I...?"
"Yes, you're dismissed."
Carole turned around and urged to her friend, trying to stay serious but when the elevator closed its door, they couldn't stay calm.
"I made it!!" Carole exclaimed. "I can't believe they past me!"
"And they changed the rule!"
They were still laughing when the elevator stopped on the first floor and walked down the stairs.
"You guys sure look happy!"
Carole recognized that voice before turning around to see who it was.
"Audrey! It's been a while!"
"So what's all that about?"
Miaka and Carole looked at each other with a smile.
"We're SeeDs!"
"Yeah? Congratulations!"
"We have to celebrate!" Gackt said as he arrived.
Miaka hugged him tight.
"SeeD, SeeD, SeeeeeeD!"
"Calm down!"
But the new SeeD girl wouldn't let go. Carole was so amazed she didn't notice Seifer was there with Audrey.
"I can't believe they past you after your desobedience! They failed me for that! It's because you saved Squall. He must have told them everything."
Carole lost her smile, thinking about his words. What if it was true after all? That she didn't fail because it was Squall she saved?
"Come on, Seifer," Audrey scolded. "You're jealous because she made it and you didn't. Can I remind you you went on your own against the orders leaving your team behind? And it wasn't to save anybody, it was because you were bored."
"Yeah, yeah... You're right. Sorry Carole. Congratulations," he said showing his hand.
"Thanks," she answered shaking his hand. "How come everyone knows what I did already?"
"Are you kidding?" Gackt exclaimed. "Every witnesses of this spread it around! Those who like Squall hoped you'd become a SeeD and those who don't really like him hoped you'd fail for not letting him die but there erally isn't much of them."
After his words, he winked at Seifer. The blonde boy shrugged indifferently. Audrey turned to him.
"You still don't like him, do you?" she inquired.
He shrugged again.
"I don't care anymore."
"Are we gonna celebrate at the cafeteria?" Gackt offered. "My treat."
"Ha! Just being a student in Garden mean we don't have to pay," Seifer said.
"Correction: only those permenantly staying in Garden don't have to pay," Audrey said.
"Whatever..."
Then he slapped his forehead realizing he spoke like Squall. The others laughed.
"So, are you coming or what?" Gackt asked again.
"Still have something to do but Audrey can go."
"You sure?"
"Yeah, go with your friends."
"Alright then let's go!"
Miaka, Gackt, Carole and Audrey headed for the cafeteria and Seifer went the other way.
On the way, Carole was thinking about Squall again. Did he tell them what I did? He didn't even thank me...
At the cafeteria, the SeeD gang was celebrating with a pile of hot dos made especially for the graduated SeeDs.
Although they were all having fun, one of them was thinking about something else.
"What's wrong, Carole?" Audrey inquired. "You're here but it's like you're somewhere else."
Gackt and Miaka paid attention.
"Oh, nothing. I just can't help thinking about Timber."
"Why don't you tell us what exactly happened?" Miaka suggested. "We saw you leave and the two of you come back but between that we don't know..."
"Actually, I wasn'tv thinking about that..."
"Really?"
Not exactly...
Zell and Rachel came in. Their class just finished and they were hoping to find them there.
"Yo, guys! Congrats!"
"Heard you made it, Carole! Lucky you!"
"I just happened to spend more time in my books than with a boyfriend..." she mumbled in response.
"Huh?"
"Forget it..."
Zell was smiling widely.
"Hey, can we join you?"
"Sure, have a seat!" Gackt offered. "And eat what you want."
"You won't tell me twice!"
As usual, Zell ate everything he could, making everyone laugh. Even Carole smiled but she was still thinking about something.
"There you are!"
Carole's heart froze in her chest recognizing the voice while the others were greeting Squall, inviting him with them but he shook his head. Carole got up and faced him with a cold face.
"I heard you made it and I assure you I don't have anything to do with this. I wanted to congratulate you."
Carole's fists were clenched. Just remember how she felt in Timber was making her angry. She couldn't control herself anymore and wished Squall would go without saying anything.
"'S that all?" she asked.
"Well, I didn't thank you for saving my life yet so..."
Her fist was not clenched anymore and found itself slapping Squall hard across the face. He almost lost his balance, his head turning along with the hand. The slap achoed in the cafeteria and everything suddenly turned silent. Everyone stared at Carole and Squall, their friends along with the others.
Squall's eyes were wide opened when he looked at her with his hand on his burning cheek. Miaka, Gackt and the others were all staring at Carole with wide eyes too, unable to speak a word.
"How dare you?" she hissed clenching her fists again. "How dare you show yourself to me after what you did?"
She was yelling but keeping her head down.
"I couldn't bare seeing you die so I saved you on an impulse but now..."
She looked at him with her eyes full of tears. Tears of fury rolling down her cheeks while her eyes were accusing him.
"Now I wish I'd have let you die..."
She lowered her head again and really low whispers started to spread in the cafeteria. The students were really wondering what happened.
"In front of Rinoa no less!" she looked at him without moving even though she was dying to punch him. "You selfish jerk! You only think about yourself, you never stopped to think how 'I' could feel! You're a pain in the ass! I hate you, I HATE YOU!!!"
She was now sobbing and the cafeteria was silent again. Squall still had his hand on his cheek.
"I can't take this anymore, you hear me! I can take no more! It's about time we settle this once and for all!"
She pointed a threatening finger at his chest. If it would have been a knife, she would have pierced his heart.
"I challenge you to a duel! Tonight at sunset behind Garden! We'll settle things there! And if you don't come, I'll just spread that you really are just a coward along with a pain, a jerk and selfish! I'll kill you tonight Squall! I swear I will!"
After that, she spun around and ran out of the cafeteria, her fists clenched so hard it hurt but she didn't care. She ran straight to the training center. She knew she wouldn't be able to wait for the sunset to kill something. She had to pass her rage on something.
In the cafeteria, Squall was still standing there, looking dumb at the entrance. Now people were freely whispering. Gackt got up and went to his best friend, frowning at him.
"Now give me a good reason not to do the same thing!"
Miaka held him and the others got up too, all staring at Squall an accusing way.
Whispers turned to voices and Squall's name could be heard but he wasn't listening, he wasn't hearing anything. He was just staring, lips half-opened. The echo of the slap was still ringing in his mind. It wasn't the first time she was crying in front of him, but this time, it was from anger against him. And her words ringing along with the slap was like a bell ringing his death.
He finally moved, lowering his head. He knew only too well what she meant: she was talking about when he took her hand. He did that on an impulse, not even thinking...
"She's right," he whispered. "I'm selfish..."
Gackt was about to put his hand on his friend's shoulder when Squall ran out the cafeteria too. Audrey turned her head away.
"Let's say I didn't see anything."
Rachel arched an eyebrow at her.
"I'm in the Disciplinary Committee," Audrey explained. "Running in Garden is prohibited but in that case, I'll make an exception."
"Where is he going?" Miaka asked.
"After her," Zell answered. "I know he is."
"Yeah, me too," Gackt added.
"But where is she going?" Rachel asked then.
They all frowned and shrugged.
"You're her sister," Zell said. "You should know her better than us."
"There are still lots of things I don't know about her."
"We still don't know where she went," Miaka reminded them.
"As long as Squall knows where she went, it's okay," Gackt said.
"But how the hell could he know?" Zell exclaimed. "Her best friends and her sister don't even know."
Miaka understood what Gackt was saying and agreed with him.
"They're alike. He must be thinking she went where he would go if he were her."
"And where would he go?" Rachel asked.
Miaka and Gackt shrugged.
"Only him could answer..."
Burning with rage and blind with tears of fury, Carole sliced, chopped, slashed and thrusted every grats that were unlucky enough to find themselves there. Soon later, she snapped out of her trance long enough to realize she couldn't breath. She dropped her gunblade and fell on her knees, her palms on the ground and her head down. She shut her eyes and tried to catch her breath.
Once her heart was back to a more normal beat, she clenched her eyes and her teeth, baring them. She punched the ground once.
"Curse you, Squall!! Why do you have to be such a pain?"
She punched the ground again.
"But we'll finally put a score to this," she said sitting up.
She let the tears roll on her cheeks freely but the pain was not leaving along with them.
"It doesn't matter who'll win. I just want to finish this ince and for all... Of you don't want me to kill you, you'll have to kill me..."
But thinking about it a more calmed way, she found a question making it's way from her heart to her mind.
"But... will I feel better with your death? Will I feel better if I kill you?"
A growling sound made her jump up with her gunblade in hand. When she saw the familiar form of a T-Rexaur coming her way, she cursed Squall for being in her thoughts and making her careless. Then she cursed herself for thinking about that pain instead of paying attention around. He attacked without warning, forcing Carole to jump aside and she barely dodged the deadly teeth.
"He caught me by surprise!"
He swung his tail and she ducked but not quick enough. He swung her away rolling in the swamp. She quickly got up.
"I waisted all my energy on those monsters, I don't have any left! Guess I don't have much to do but run... Blind!"
The magic touched the dinosaur, making Carole smile.
"That should do it!"
She ran but the rex hit her with his head, making her roll in the dust. She got up in amazement.
"What the? It didn't work?!"
The monster attacked her again, giving her her answer. She tried it again with the same result and was swung away again. When she wanted to try it a third time, the rex didn't even left her the time. He bit her hard, making her yell in pain before dropping her. She crawled away with growing fear and was hit by the tail again. She landed against a dead tree that chose this moment to break, sending her in the dirt. She could taste the salty taste of her own blood on her tongue. She couldn't see straight anymore, everything was blurry but she could still guess the form of the dangerously close T-Rexaur slowly coming to finish her. She closed her eyes and turned her head aside, resting her cheek on her shoulder.
"Forgive me Squall..." she whispered. "I'm the one who won't make it to the duel..."
The monster's step were getting closer.
"I wish it would... have been different... I wish I'd have told you, Squall... I... I..."
When the T-Rexaur growled in victory and lowered his head to finish the girl, a loud shout disturbed him and was followed by a familiar sound when the rex turned around. A metallic sound, the sound of a gunblade.
Carole opened her eyes hearing the shout again. That voice was familiar too... it was Squall's! Her sight was now better and she could see him jumping around the monster, attacking him and dodging every attacks from it. His frowning face showing determination made her heart beat faster. She couldn't keep her eyes off him.
When the monster dropped onto the ground, Squall placed his gunblade against his leg and pushed his hair back behind his ears.
Carole suddenly felt weak and closed her eyes again and her head fell aside. Squall turned to her at that moment and feared the worst.
"Carole!" he called running to her.
He carefully kneeled by her side. She was covered with dirt, dust and blood. After a little hesitation quickly replaced by concern and fear, he placed an arm around her shoulders and lifted ehr back a little. She opened her eyes and smiled at him.
"I never thought you'd do this..."
"Thank god," Squall sighed. "You're okay."
"I've been better..."
Squall smiled.
"What are you doing here?" she asked. "I don't think you came to kill some time..."
"I was after you. I kinda guessed you'd be here and I knew it was dangerous to come with anger."
She gave him a sorry look.
"What's important now is to get you out of here fast. Can you still walk?"
"Not sure..."
Squall helped her to sit up. It was painful but she could take it. She looked at him and smiled at his concern. A move behind him attracted her attention and she lost her smile. Squall frowned.
"What?"
"Duck!"
She pushed him and he fell on the ground but when he turned his head, he saw the T-Rexaur's tail hit Carole again. She rolled in the dust and didn't move anymore.
"No way! It was faking?!"
Squall was ready to attack but the monster turned to the wounded girl, knowing it would be easier to get her than him. He wanted to take her down with him.
"No you don't!" Squall screamed.
He placed himself between the monster and the wounded girl, frowning madly at it with his gunblade in hands. He bared his teeth and gave the T-Rexaur a threatening look.
"Over my dead body!" he warned.
The rex threw his head backward and growled loudly, taking the chalenge. Squall dashed him and got him to get away from Carole before finishing it. It didn't take much considering the weak state he was in. After a final low growl, the rex fell. Squall stood there, breathing fast and pushed his hair backward again.
Like he just remembered. He spun around and ran to Carole again who was still lying in the same position she had landed, on her front. Her uniform was a mess dirty with dirt and blood covered woth holes.
Squall kneeled by her side again and turned her on her back with great caution. Her eyes were half opened with pain but she was alive. Squall lulled her gently to calm the fear in her eyes.
"It's okay, now," he whispered. "You'll be fine."
She looked at him through tears filling eyes.
"Why did you do that, Squall? Why did you ...save me?"
"Because you're like me: I don't want anybody to die either, I don't want you to die because of me. I kinda like your spirit."
Carole blinked slowly and the tears rolled down her cheeks. She lifted a hand covered with dirt, dust and blood to Squall's swelled and red cheek. It seemed like more tears rolled down her face and regret appeared over it.
"I'm... sorry," she said gently rubbing the cheek with the tip of her fingers.
Squall shook his head.
"No, I'm the one who should apologize. You're right when you said I'm not thinking about anybody but me. I'm selfish. I wanted to make Rinoa jealous and you happened to be there but I know it was useless. I hurt you and it's because I wasn'T thinking."
He placed his hand on his cheek.
"I deserved this for what I did so you don't have to apologize, I do. I'm sorry..."
Carole smiled faintly.
"Let's take you to the infirmary now. I think you may have inner injuries."
Squall carefully got up with the girl in his arms. On the way out, she fell uncounscious.
"You're right," Squall said to himself. "I'm a selfish jerk and I'm a pain..."