I hated the silence.

When Lizzie would come out to play I would usually stun my parents into silence. Then after it was over, they would send me to my room for the rest of the night. But I hated it because when they stopped yelling it meant they weren't talking. It meant their marriage really was deteriorating. And then with Lucky… his silence always meant anger. Not at first, but after the fire he would sit and seethe quietly. Usually because of Jason.

Jason.

The only person who could make the silence bearable. Peaceful. Why was that? Before the Sonny debacle, Jason and I could sit in the penthouse and not talk. We didn't need to. He would play pool and I would sketch. It was wonderful.

But he wasn't speaking now. To anyone. When we left the police station, Jason had kept a gentle pressure on the small of my back, guiding me to the limo. He nodded at Johnny and slid inside. I crawled in beside him, but didn't touch him. I could already feel the anger radiating from him. I didn't need Jason to jerk away from me so that I could lay awake at night and analyze it. I didn't need him to glare at me, not talking. I'd like to convince myself I didn't need him at all, but I knew it was a lie. I needed him like I needed to breathe. Like I needed to be free.

Sonny waited until Carly got in the limo before he slid beside her. His hand reached for hers, their fingers automatically twining. But he didn't say anything either. I listened as the drivers' door slammed and Johnny started the car. We pulled away from the curb with a lurch, and I fell gently against Jason's side. "Sorry," I muttered before straightening.

The partition lowered and I turned to smile at Johnny. "Can you take me to my studio?"

"You're going to the penthouse."

Finally, he spoke. I turned to glare at Jason. "I'm going to my studio."

"Johnny, we're going to Harborview, we're not stopping on the way."

"Jason–"

He turned in the seat and shook his head. I couldn't figure out why he was mad. I got him out of jail, didn't I? None of this was making sense. "You're coming to the penthouse."

"So I can stay with you and your wife?" I spit out. "I'd rather sleep in the sewer."

"Elizabeth," he said through clenched teeth. "We'll talk about this when we get to the penthouse."

"No!" I yelled. I watched as Sonny flinched, but he didn't say anything. "We'll talk about this now. Why the hell can't you just be grateful?"

"You lied."

"I got you out of jail!" I rubbed my forehead against my palm and sighed deeply. I tried counting to ten, hoping the anger inside of me would stop. "You were content to sit in jail for something you didn't do! I knew I could get you out, so I did."

"How do you know I didn't do it?" he asked. "How do you know I didn't put a bullet between Luis Alcazar's eyes like Taggert was saying?"

My eyes widened, but other than that I didn't let him shock me. I knew he was trying to disgust me. He was trying to make me hate him. "Jason…I don't care if you did."

"How can you say that?"

"You know I don't believe you, Jason. And I know you didn't kill him."

"How do you know?"

"Because I do," I replied stubbornly. Why couldn't he understand that I had faith in him? Why couldn't he understand that I knew he wasn't a cold-blooded killer? He wasn't this person he wanted to convince me he was. "You can try all you want, but I'm not leaving. You're not pushing me out of your life."

"I don't want you in it!" he shouted.

"Fine," I muttered. I wrapped the black wool coat around me tighter and moved towards the door. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared out the window.

"Jason," Carly whispered. "You don't mean that."

He didn't say anything. Jason sat there and glared at his wrists, picking at the blood from the handcuffs. Of course he didn't mean it. But if it got Elizabeth out of this, he'd let her think he meant it.

"Carly," I said calmly. "Don't." I wiped the tears from my cheeks and looked up at Sonny. "Will you tell Johnny to take me to my studio after he drops you off?"

"She's going to the penthouse."

I wanted to kick him. "You don't tell me what to do."

"Sonny–" Jason began.

"Talk to me, Jason," I pleaded. "Not Sonny." I pressed a hand to my chest and looked at him. "Me."

"I don't have anything to say."

The car stopped, at a traffic light I assumed. His words hurt. They cut deep into my soul, leaving wounds he'd never know about. "Fine." I reached for the handle and pulled roughly. "I'll be at my studio. Carly, please tell Lieutinent Taggert that's where I am."

"Damnit Elizabeth!" Jason yelled.

I ignored him and slammed the door. I'd walk home if I had to. There was no way I was letting Jason Morgan or anyone else berate me for helping out a friend.

"Johnny! Stop the car!" Sonny yelled. He glared at Jason. "You need to pull the stick out of your ass and go after her."

"I'm not," Jason refused. "She had no business doing what she did. She's going to be the one who pays for it, Sonny."

"What did she do?" Carly asked. "From where I was sitting, she got you out of jail."

Jason pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Carly, you don't know anything about what's going on."

"I don't need to," the blonde whispered fiercely. "I'm the last person to sing the praises of Lizzie Webber, but I know she cares about you! I know she did something no one else would."

"Carly–"

"Shut up, Sonny."

The blonde reached for her door handle and yanked on it. "I'm going after her." She slid outside into the snow and slammed the door.

Sonny rolled the window and glared at her. "Get back in the car, Carly."

"No."

"Damnit Carly!"

"Don't yell at her!" Jason shouted. "Carly get in the car." He opened his own door and stepped outside. "I'll go find her."

He kicked the snow in anger as he walked. She wasn't supposed to do this. Elizabeth was supposed to let him sit in jail. She was supposed to leave him alone. Because that way he was safe. And if he was safe, she was safe.

Turning a corner, Jason sighed when he saw her on the stone step. God, it was cold. She was huddled inside of her coat, her teeth chattering. He could tell she was crying

I'd made it far enough away so I couldn't see the limo, but could still hear their yelling. "Go away," I whispered.

"Come back with me?" Jason asked.

I shook my head. There was no way. "I can't."

"Elizabeth–"

"Jason, why're you here? You told me that I don't mean anything to you."

"Honey," he whispered. "We need to talk, but not out here. C'mon, you're freezing. Let's go to the penthouse."

I nodded mutely and stood. He was right, it was freezing. While I didn't want to go to the penthouse, I also didn't want to argue anymore. He let me climb into the car first, then sat beside me, his thigh pressed against mine. "Sorry," I muttered and moved towards the door.

"Elizabeth," Jason began. "I'm… I'm not mad at you. I'm mad that you did something so stupid to help me."

"You mean kind of like you going to Taggert for help?" I asked. "Or maybe going into a burning building after Sonny? Or taking a bullet? Like those stupid things you've done?"

He gently took my hand, but I couldn't really feel it. My hands were so cold I couldn't feel my fingers. "That's my job, Elizabeth. That's who I am."

"It's not."

"It is," Jason insisted. "You knew that, Elizabeth. I told you this would happen… I told you one day you would see me for what I am, and you're face would change. I told you that you would leave."

"So this is my fault?" I scoffed. I couldn't believe him! "You screw up, you lie to me, and it's my fault!?!"

"Elizabeth–"

"Shut the hell up."

"Elizabeth," Sonny began. "I think what Jason's trying to say–"

"You shut up too!" I yelled.

The admiration that had started growing for Elizabeth at the police department was steadily increasing, Carly realized. She was a spitfire and she loved that Elizabeth wouldn't let Jason or Sonny tell her what to do or how to think. "She's right," Carly admitted.

"I am?" I asked.

Carly nodded, smiling at Jason and Sonny. "Jase, you're an idiot."

He had a headache. His wrist hurt. And he hadn't slept in a real bed for three nights. "Excuse me?"

"You're an idiot," Carly repeated. "A friggin' moron. Just say thank you."

"I don't want his damn gratitude," I snapped. "I just wanna go home."

"That's where we're going. Home to where you belong."

"My home," I clarified. "My stuffy little studio."

"No, home where you belong. The penthouse level of Sonny's building."

"Carly–" Sonny began.

"Shut up," we both ordered.

"I'm not going back there," I continued. "Not when he wants someone else there."

Jason narrowed his eyes. "What're you talking about?"

"Don't you want Malibu Barbie, Jason? Or is there another woman you've kissed in the rain I don't know about?"

"Malibu Barbie?" Sonny questioned. He glared at Jason. "You kissed Courtney?"

"She kissed me!" he yelled. "And how'd you know about that?"

"Ooooh," I feigned. "How'd I know? Not I'm sorry, not it was a mistake. But how did you know? Well, Jason, she told me! Big shocker there. Since Courtney has decided we should be the bestest of friends. She told me the day after she told me you married Brenda, which is something she blamed on me! Did you know you getting married was because of me, Jason? And here I thought it was for Sonny or Carly!"

"She what?"

"Yeah," I snapped. "It's my fault you married Brenda. Because I decided to have friends. Did you know that?"

"Elizabeth–"

"Back up," Sonny interrupted. "When did you kiss my sister?"

"Oh shut up," Carly complained. She crossed her arms over her chest and glared out into the night. "Like you, mister I tripped and fell in bed with Alexis, can say anything about who Jason kisses."

I couldn't help it, I laughed. Carly was hilarious. "You slept with Alexis?"

Sonny shifted uncomfortably, wanting them to all drop the subject. "That's not important. What's important is that Jason kissed Courtney."

"Wait," I stopped him. "Does this mean…?"

"Does it mean what?" Sonny snapped.

"Don't snap at her!" Jason yelled. "And do I have to say it again? Courtney kissed me!"

"Are you the father of Alexis' baby?" I asked bluntly.

"Yes, he is," Carly answered. "Anymore family secrets we should share tonight? Hell, we're not even back to the penthouse yet… Hey, maybe we should ask Johnny if he has anything he wants to tell us."

"Carly," Sonny warned. "Drop it."

I shook my head at the married couple. They were two of the most dysfunctional people I knew. "Anyway, the point is, I don't matter to Jason. You two do, Courtney does, and Brenda does but not me."

He needed a drink. Hell, he needed an entire bottle of scotch. "Elizabeth…" Jason sighed. "You know that's not true."

"Isn't it?" I retorted.

"You left me!" he shouted.

"Hey," Sonny interrupted. "You don't get to yell at her either."

"Shut up, Sonny. You're the reason I left him."

"What?"

"That stupid lie. Oh, by the way, I'm not dead. Yeah… that one." I hadn't meant for all of this to come out. Not now. Not ever. But I couldn't stop the words. They just fell out of my, laced with acid and sarcasm. I really didn't care who I hurt anymore. As long as someone hurt as much as I did.

"Elizabeth…" Carly began. "I–I…"

"I know," I broke in. "You wanted to tell me. Betcha had a lot of fun laughing about Lizzie with Sonny and Jason. You were probably yucking it up."

"That's not true," Carly answered. She was offended. Did Elizabeth really think that little of her? "Elizabeth… Jason wanted to tell you. He begged Sonny to let him tell you."

"But I said no," Sonny told her. "I didn't understand why you needed to know. It was dangerous, Elizabeth."

"Oooh, it was dangerous," I mocked him. "Drop it, Sonny. I'm not mad because he lied, I'm mad because he stayed away for days. I'm mad because he let me worry about him when nothing was wrong. Because he would spend nights with Courtney, protecting her, while the nameless guard on the door was fine for me. I'm mad because he didn't try."

"Elizabeth," Jason sighed. So this was it… this was the truth. The tears in her eyes cut straight through him, leaving him empty. They were really over.

The car stopped in the garage and he jerked on the door handle. Not waiting for anyone else, Jason took off running towards the stairs. He was already up one flight when Sonny, Carly, and I were out of the limo.

I shook my head and sighed. "I'll go talk to him."