Man, this thing is getting long. The end is in sight, somewhere in the distance, but I can't say I know when it's coming. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me so far!

Chapter Twenty-One: Enough

Sydney's eyes fluttered open, and she looked around, confused, trying to remember where she was. It wasn't difficult once she realized she was in a cushy first-class airplane seat instead of the bed she shared with Michael. She had been a little disappointed when her mother had told her that the private jet wouldn't be available for their trip, but flying commercial did have certain advantages. For one, it made her feel less like she was going out one of Irina's missions and more like she was actually going on vacation.

Free.

"Morning, sunshine," Michael said softly, leaning over to plant a kiss on her forehead.

"Morning, baby," she responded, a smile working its way across her face. Now she didn't have to worry about where she was. If she was with him, it meant she was home.

"You always sleep like a baby on airplanes," he noted, lacing his fingers through hers. "I've never been able to do that."

Sydney smiled. "I learned to do it back in my SD-6 days. If I didn't sleep on the plane, I didn't sleep at all."

"That explains it." He sat back against his seat, the two of them silent for a moment.

"I hated saying goodbye to the kids last night." They'd had to leave for the airport so early in the morning that they'd decided to take turns saying goodbye to the children the night before.

"I know, honey," Michael said tenderly. "But we'll be home to them before we know it."

"I know." Still. Sydney had felt so uneasy as she'd tucked Emily into bed, brushing her hair back from her face and kissing her forehead.

"You be a good girl for Mrs. Simmons," she'd told her daughter.

"I will, Mommy," Emily responded solemnly.

"Of course you will," Sydney sighed, pulling the little girl to her tightly. "You're an angel."

Saying goodbye to Jack had been even harder. He'd been behaving so strangely that evening, so solemn and secretive. Sydney was dying to know what Irina had said to him earlier, but he'd evaded every question she'd asked about his afternoon with Grandma.

"I'll miss you, sweetheart," she'd said as she'd pulled the covers up to his chin, pressing her lips to his forehead. "You be good for Mrs. Simmons, okay? Do your homework and put your comic books away when she asks you to."

Sydney had expected him to grumble off a quick, "Okay, okay," and roll over to go to sleep. Instead, a strange flash of fear had gleamed in his green eyes.

"Why can't Grandma stay with us?"

"Because Mrs. Simmons is, sweetheart," Sydney said, trying to keep her voice neutral. "You like her, don't you?"

"I guess." To Sydney's horror and surprise, Jack's eyes filled with tears as he choked out, "You guys are coming back, right?"

"Jack!" Sydney wrapped her arms around her son comfortingly. "Of course we're coming back."

"Sometimes--" Jack's lower lip began to tremble violently. "Sometimes when you leave, I think you're not going to. Come back, I mean."

"Jackie, honey--" he hated when anyone called him that, but it just slipped out. "--I promise we're coming back. Okay?"

Jack stared at her for a long moment, then blurted out the last thing she expected to hear. "Grandma told me she left you when you were a little girl."

"What?!" A million thoughts ran through Sydney's head, the most pressing of them being, Why?

"Don't tell her I told you," Jack said in a rush. "I wasn't supposed to tell you."

"It's okay, sweetheart," Sydney assured him. "I'm just surprised she told you that."

"Why, Mom?" Jack asked, green eyes wide. "Why would she leave you?"

"Because--" Because she wasn't who I thought she was. Because her marriage to my father was just an illusion. "Because she was going somewhere I couldn't go."

Jack looked suddenly near tears again. "You said I couldn't go on this vacation!"

"But we're coming back, sweetheart." Sydney had never seen him like this before. She wanted to kill her mother for whatever she'd said to drive him to this. The little boy was terrified. "And anyway, my mother didn't leave me by myself. I had my father."

"She said you would have been better off alone."

Sydney's eyes flared, and she jumped up from the bed, reeling around the room. Who the hell did her mother think she was?

"Don't tell her I told you, Mom," Jack pleaded. "I wasn't supposed to tell."

"I--" Sydney clenched her hands into fists, trying to collect her thoughts. "I just wish she hadn't told you that, Jack. My father-- well, no, he wasn't a very good dad. But he did his best." His best. Oh, God. "You know how good my best is, Sydney," he'd said only a few days before. His best hadn't been nearly the hell good enough when she was a kid, why was she trusting him to do his best now?

"Jack, listen to me." Sydney returned to her spot on the bed, brushing her son's hair back from his forehead. "Your daddy and I would never leave you. We love you very much, okay?"

"Okay," he whispered, not looking entirely convinced. "Emily is staying here too, right?"

"Yes, sweetheart," Sydney confirmed. "Be a good big brother and watch out for her while your dad and I are away, okay?"

Jack nodded solemnly, and Sydney wondered if maybe she shouldn't have said that. He took everything so seriously, had such an inflated sense of duty and responsibility. He got that from his daddy, Sydney supposed.

"I love you," Sydney said, her voice firm. "Have a good night's sleep, honey. Your dad and I will be back before you know it, okay?"

"Okay. Love you, Mom."

Sydney slid a glance at Michael then, on the plane, wondering wildly if this trip was a mistake. Yes, they were keeping up the pretense that everything was normal, hoping that her mother would take it as a sign that they weren't about to take Jack Bristow up on his offer. But was it really wise to travel so far away, trusting that her father would keep her little ones safe?

"Michael?" His eyes had been about to close, and she felt horrible about keeping him awake. He must have been exhausted to even attempt sleep on a plane, poor baby. But she needed him. So badly it hurt.

"Yes, sweetheart." And he knew. He always knew just what she needed. Always was just what she needed.

"I'm scared," she whispered, so softly she feared he wouldn't hear her. "I'm so scared."

He didn't say anything, only tightened the grip on her hand.

It wasn't all the reassurance she had hoped for. But for the moment, it was enough.