Chapter 4 (In Which We Come to Understand Why Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are Like Vulcans)
Captain Kathryn Janeway sat in the mess hall, coffee in hand, trying to make sense of it all. She'd tried to figure out how long she'd been awake, but her sleep-deprived mind couldn't reconcile the idea she'd been in the gym with Lieutenant Mertois on the same day she'd watched two Federation Starships collide.
"Captain Janeway." Janeway turned slowly to face Captain Picard. "Do you mind if I join you?"
Janeway turned back to the stars and gestured vaguely toward the chair beside her. Realising it was the best offer he was going to get, Jean-Luc Picard sat down. He filled his cup from the pot of coffee Janeway had on the table beside her, then reached inside his jacket, withdrawing a metal flask. He emptied a measure of its contents into his coffee and placed the flask beside the coffee pot in a wordless invitation.
A few moments passed before Janeway reached for the flask and poured some of the liquid into her own cup before returning her eyes to the stars.
The silence seemed to stretch on for hours between them, neither wanting to break the spell, each drawing strength from the other. Finally Picard reached for the PADD Janeway had placed beside the coffee. He recognized it immediately: the final casualty report.
One thousand five hundred ninety-eight dead, two hundred twelve still in various sickbays. The numbers were staggering. It had taken Picard hours to come to terms with the shear enormity of the destruction wrought by Starfleet officers against Starfleet officers. Guinan had finally helped him put it perspective. Looking at Janeway, he could tell she was still wrestling with it.
"Admiral Nechayev is none too happy with you right now." Picard decided to try and draw her out gradually.
"Oh? What have I done to upset the Admiral this time." Picard could almost taste the bitterness in her voice, but she had responded, and he focused on that.
"She doesn't feel that you've been treating her with the respect she deserves."
"Oh?" Janeway realized leaving the Admiral to her own devices on the bridge may not have been a great idea, but right now she really didn't care.
"That's what she told Admiral Paris a few hours ago. I was showing them to quarters on the Enterprise. I guess she forgot I was there."
"What did Admiral Paris have to say?" Janeway didn't really care but asked out of conversational convention.
"I believe his exact words were, 'with all due respect Admiral, cram it." Janeway spit out her mouthful of coffee, but Picard just continued on, "She's made it through 7 years of shit with more grace than you could ever hope to muster. Cut her some slack.'"
Janeway let out a laugh, long and full and unrestrained. It felt good to laugh again. "I would have liked to see that."
Picard chuckled before replying, "I've seen my crew devolve, I've seen primordial Earth and I've seen every space-time anomaly in the book, but I think seeing the unflappable Admiral Alynna Nechayev shot down is the most incredible of all."
Janeway reached out to refill her cup, half with coffee, half with the smooth brown liquid in Picard's flask. She was trying to get herself drunk, and Picard was only too happy to oblige her. He'd come to understand that a little liquid fire sometimes helped make sense of impossible events. It had taken a fight with his brother and a few bottles of good wine for him to come to terms with his assimilation by the Borg; the bottle of brandy he and Captain Scott had shared on the holodeck had lightened that man's load. He knew this Captain was no different; she'd self-combust eventually if she didn't talk about what was bothering her. If some Irish Cream helped her open up, so be it.
Picard took the offered flask, and refilled his own cup, matching her mixture exactly. Getting drunk alone was never fun.
Janeway took a long swallow from her cup, then broke the silence again. "So Captain, when does my court martial begin?"
"I don't think it does. I think you'll get a medal or six, but I doubt they'll press charges."
Janeway finally turned and looked him in the eye. "Why wouldn't they? I broke the Temporal Prime Directive getting here, wilfully damaged Starfleet property, and started a little civil war that killed over fifteen hundred officers and destroyed eight Starships. They should nail me to the wall."
"They could, but they won't."
"Why the Hell not?" Janeway was masking her pain with anger.
"Because Captain, you did your duty; you protected your crew."
"And what of the Temporal Prime Directive? Are the temporal police going to just smile and nod at that? I may have destroyed an entire species getting here. That's got to change history a bit."
Picard didn't bother to argue with her definition of the Borg as a species. "Captain, do you know how the Federation first encountered the Borg?"
"Yes, Q sent you across the galaxy."
"Exactly. Q sent us across the galaxy. From the moment we encountered them, our history together has been unnatural. We should never have met them; you should have been the first starship to cross Borg space. How would history have been different then? I wouldn't have lost 18 crew members, maybe the Borg would have waited a while longer before coming out this far and Wolf 359 wouldn't have happened."
Janeway saw the pain on Picard's face at the mention of the infamous battle. She wondered what it must have been like for him to watch as the Borg juggernaut destroyed the Federation fleet.
"Admiral Janeway told me 26 members of my crew would die before we reached home. Part of me knows that I should have stayed in the Delta quadrant. Twenty-six isn't so many compared to 1500. But the thought of watching any of my crewmembers die tears me apart. Even knowing the consequences, I wouldn't give them up."
"Nor should you. Captain, the battle we fought today was going to happen, if not here and now, then somewhere else. Admiral Jellico had gathered too much support; he needed an excuse to try and take control. If he'd had more time it could have been a lot bloodier, and he might have won."
"So even if Starfleet wants to leave me alone, what's to stop the public from tearing me to pieces once this leaks out?"
"Spin control, Captain. Starfleet needs a hero right now, and you make a good one." Picard finished his drink before continuing. He refilled both mugs while he went on, "you may have even helped your crew out of a tight situation."
Janeway took the cup he offered her, drinking deeply. "How so?"
"If the make you into a hero, the Maquis onboard are sure to be painted with the same brush. I doubt they'll ever face charges for their actions in the DMZ."
Janeway mulled this one over a bit. The liquor was hitting her hard, slowing things down. "I may be a hero for now, but I have no doubt history will vilify me."
Picard laughed, surrendering to the warmth in his belly now that he could see the fire once again burning in Janeway's eyes. "Captain, history will revere us or revile us; maybe both. Sadly, I doubt it'll forget either of us. I decided long ago to Hell with history; I do my duty in the here and now and don't worry about what some planet bound book worm says about me in a hundred years."
Janeway laughed again. "Hear Hear! I propose a toast Captain, may the historians get tossed out the nearest airlock."
Picard raised his mug before draining it. He tried to refill their cups once more, but found his flask empty. Standing, he moved toward the galley "Let me see if I can find something more."
Once safely out of earshot, Picard tapped his comm badge. "Picard to Commander Chakotay."
A few moments passed before Chakotay answered groggily, "Chakotay here Captain."
"I'm sorry to wake you Commander, but Captain Janeway needs you in the mess hall immediately."
"On my way Captain."
Picard rummaged through a few more cupboards before hearing the doors open. Commander Chakotay entered and raised an eyebrow at Picard. Picard walked over to Chakotay as quickly as his wobbly legs would carry him. He raised a finger to his lips, and led the bigger man over to the window. Looking down, he saw the alcohol had finally overcome Kathryn Janeway, leaving her snoring gently.
"Can you get her to her quarters? And make sure she's not disturbed before twelve hundred hours?"
Chakotay nodded and placed his hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently until she woke enough to follow his directions. Pulling her to her feet, he slung her arm over his shoulders, gripped her tightly and headed for the door, carefully navigating around the tables. He paused just before leaving and turned to Picard.
"Thank you Captain. She's needed this for seven years, but none of us could help her."
"It's hard Commander, for Captains to show their feelings to their crews."
Chakotay smiled sadly, "she never let down the mask, but we would do anything for her. We're family." Chakotay gently guided his Captain out of the room; bound for a soft, warm bed and a dreamless sleep.
Captain Picard watched them go. He knew the Commander's confession had come partly from exhaustion, but the concern he showed for his Captain was genuine. His last words struck Picard forcefully, for he knew them to be true not only of Voyager, but of his own crew. We would have done anything for her. We're family.
*
Kathryn Janeway rolled over and groaned. She felt like the blood in her head had suddenly become solid, forcing its way through her brain without anything resembling viscosity. Groaning again, she opened her eyes a crack. Her darkened quarters greeted, which shouldn't have been a surprises, but somehow was. She didn't remember coming home last night.
As things slowly came into focus, she saw a glass of water perched on her nightstand. Reaching a shaky hand out, she grasped the tumbler and brought it slowly to her lips. As soon as the fluid touched her lips, she became aware of a pressing thirst. With out thinking, she drained half the contents in a series of quick gulps.
Replacing the glass, she lay back and tried to figure out why she felt so awful. She hadn't suffered like this since the binge party after graduating from the academy. She remembered drinking nine distinct types of Saurian brandy that night
Drinking. That's what she'd been doing last night.
Slowly snitches of memory came back to her. Toasting the demise of historians everywhere with Captain Picard, laughing mercilessly at the thought of Admiral Nechayev getting burned by Admiral Paris, the casualty report.
She felt the crushing weight from the day before returning and waited for it to overwhelm her again, as it had last night. This time, however, it didn't. It remained instead as a small burden at the back of her mind. She could function this way.
Glancing back at the night table, she saw a PADD that her mind had been but dimly aware of before. She found it contained an itinerary for the day.
13:00 – senior staff meeting.
15:00 – commander's meeting aboard the Hermes
19:00 – welcome home reception onboard the Enterprise.
Though there were only three items scheduled, she knew the simplicity glossed over the hours of repairs she'd be supervising. Glancing over at the chronometer, she found it was only 11:30, giving her plenty of time to shower and get herself together before her first meeting.
*
Janeway strode into the conference room at 12:58. Her senior staff was already assembled and waiting for her. Chakotay gave her a concerned look, and she raised an enquiring eyebrow at him. She had no recollection of her trip back to her quarters the night before, or how he'd practically carried her into her bed. Chakotay didn't care whether or not she remembered almost falling flat on her face while he pulled back the covers. He was happy just to se the familiar spring back in her step.
"B'Elanna, how are the repairs going."
The Chief Engineer sighed before responding. Her Captain wasn't going to like the report. "We took a lot of damage Captain. Damage control teams finally cleared out all the corridors two hours ago. We're really still evaluating all the systems, but preliminary reports suggest every system took damage of one kind or another."
"How long 'til we're operational again?"
"That's tougher to say Captain. Our engines are actually in pretty good shape. I can probably get minimal warp power back by the end of the day. The biggest problem is still our deflector dish. The one we modified from the Enterprise is gone."
"Gone?" Had the Enterprise taken it back?
"Yes captain, gone. It overheated and melted through three decks. That's never happened before as far as I can tell. Fortunately no one was in the quarters below, but we're still without shields.
"In terms of us getting under way, if we got a hold of another deflector, it'll be a minimum of three days, probably more like a week."
"Keep working B'Elanna, concentrate on the engines and weapons. I'll see if I can't get us another deflector."
"Yes Captain."
"Doctor, what's sickbay's status?"
"I released crewman Daniels last night. He was the last to go. Otherwise sickbay is fully operational, albeit under stocked."
"Good work Doctor. Does anyone else have anything to report?" Heads shook around the room.
"Excellent. Good work everyone. Dismissed." As the crew started to leave, Janeway called out to Tom Paris. "Mr. Paris could I speak with you for a moment?" Janeway waited until the doors closed before speaking again. "I need a bottle of Irish Cream."
Paris blinked before responding. "Of course. I'll have it brought up to your ready room."
"Thanks Tom."
Paris just nodded.
*
Captain Picard walking into his ready room, PADD in hand. After ordering his tea, he sat down at his desk, never taking his eyes off the PADD. It wasn't until he set his tea down to initial the report he was reading that he saw the bottle sitting on his desk.
Picking it up he opened the paper tag and read:
Captain Picard,
For the next Captain who needs a hand out of self-pity.
Thanks for everything,
Kathryn
Picard smiled at his handy work. If the note was any indication, Kathryn Janeway was once again fit for command.
*
Janeway filed into the observation lounge onboard the Hermes with Captain Dago. This latest meeting was designed to give the Starship Commanders their orders. Admiral Nechayev sat at the head of the table with Admiral Paris to her right. Janeway, Dago, Picard, Kira and Data rounded out the group.
"Good afternoon everyone. I see you all brought your reports with you." There was a PADD in front of each officer, summarizing their ship's status. "Commander Data. As you are hereby relieved of your duty onboard the Secord, you are no longer needed here."
Data nodded, and handed his report to Admiral Nechayev before leaving.
Nechayev waited for the doors to close before continuing, "Commander Kira, what's your status?"
"The Defiant is operational. It'll need an overhaul soon, but we're okay for the moment."
Nechayev smiled, "excellent. You are to depart for Deep Space Nine immediately after the reception this evening."
"Yes Admiral."
"Captain Picard, the Enterprise is to return to Starbase 73 to complete repairs. You're due in 48 hours."
"Aye Admiral."
"Captain Janeway, the Athena is due here in 16 hours. It's carrying a staff to debrief you and your crew. It's also carrying a new deflector dish for Voyager and a new warp core for the Pearson. Nechayev paused before continuing. "Two Padua class ships are also in the Athena's hold."
Necheyev's final comment was sobering; Padua-class vessels had been developed in the wake of Wolf 359 to deal with the rubble left by the Borg. They followed shipwrecks like vultures, stripping the hulks of usable components and melting down the remaining alloys for recycling. Officers on other ships, often just as suspicious as their sea-bound predecessors, dreaded their presence.
"Captain Janeway, Admiral Paris has prepared a briefing for your senior staff at sixteen hundred hours. Otherwise, you are all dismissed."
*
Admiral Paris was gazing in wonder at Tom and B'Elanna when Janeway walked into the conference room to start this latest of meetings. Torres was holding Miral on her lap, and the Admiral was clearly having trouble tearing his eyes away from the sight of his 'screw-up' son and his family.
Deciding to jump-start the meeting, Janeway cleared her throat and took her place at the head of the table. Paris finally straightened his shoulders, and Janeway could see his own command mask fall into place.
"Good afternoon everyone, this meeting is to prepare you for the next few weeks. You will be debriefed here, after which Voyager will return to Earth. All members of the crew will be given all back-pay due, and three months leave. Debriefings begin tomorrow at 08:00 hours with the staff from the Athena. We estimate this will take between 3 and 4 weeks to complete. Fortunately, that's the same amount of time we figure it'll take to get Voyager properly repaired. Crew members not being debriefed will be assigned repair duty."
"Admiral, I understand your haste to complete these debriefings, but why worry about the shape Voyager's in? Why not just give us a new deflector dish, and send us back to Earth?" Janeway was sick of delays. She wanted her feet on Indiana soil now.
"Quite frankly Captain, Voyager will not be moving once it reaches Earth. It's being turned into a museum."
*
Four hours later, Janeway stood in front of Voyager's crew, one of the only times they'd been assembled in one place. Facing the people she'd come to depend on, and who'd trusted her to get them home was a daunting task. As she stood before them, looking from face to face, she felt her stomach churn. When she'd taken command on Voyager, she'd been a scientist first, and a captain second. Now she realized she didn't really know who she was anymore. Seven years ago, she'd been sure of herself, she'd known where her life was headed, what her goals were. She'd been given command of a Starship; she had a fiancée, and looked forward to exploring the galaxy, pushing the limits of known space.
When Voyager had been hurled across the galaxy, she'd had to adapt, to develop new priorities. She'd become a Captain first; a scientist when convenient, and her personal life had been put on hold. Every fibre of her being had concentrated on keeping her crew alive, and trying to find the fastest way back home. The first change had been obvious, a permanent settling of the command mask. But others just as important had happened while she'd been essentially on call for seven years. Playing pool with the troops on the holodeck, developing a friendship with the man she'd been sent to arrest, finding out Mark had moved on with his life; these and a billion other events had served to irreversibly alter the basic fabric of her being. She had moulded herself perfectly into what the Delta Quadrant required of a Captain. The question now was what did she do now that she was back? Could she remake herself yet again?
She had avoided facing these issues, and knew that they could be put off for only so much longer. It had taken the sight of her entire crew gathered before her to really make her acknowledge that they were back home, and would be on Earth in a matter of weeks. The thought terrified her, and she became aware of how vulnerable she would become, without a Captain's chair to hide behind.
Consciously pulling her thoughts from her petrifying epiphany, she squared her shoulders and prepared to address the crew, her crew.
"Hello everyone, I am here now to inform you that in a few weeks, we will be departing for Earth. Once there, you will receive all back pay due, as well as three months leave. I was also informed by Admiral Paris a few moments ago that all members of the Maquis have been pardoned, and will be treated according to the provisional rank they were accorded on Voyager."
The murmurs this generated were quite loud. Not even Chakotay had known about the pardon, and the relief was obvious from both the Starfleet and Maquis crewmembers. Janeway allowed the noise to continue for a few moments before holding up her hands for quiet.
"In the meantime, we have quite a lot of work to do. Voyager is to become a museum on Earth, and we have a number of repairs to make before she's ready to be seen by the public. Your section heads all have a duty list for the next week. I apologize for the long shifts, but as soon as repairs and debriefs are completed, we depart for home."
A cheer went up as Janeway finished her speech. She smiled, then nodded toward her senior staff. Each of them held an armful of PADDs, and they began distributing them to the crew. Janeway snuck out and down a side corridor. She stayed there, back against the wall, for a few moments collecting herself.
*
Guinan, as usual, had done a wonderful job getting the party together. Most importantly, though,
she was there putting people at ease. Janeway entered half an hour after the scheduled start to find the party already in full swing. Picard saw her enter and waved her over. Grateful for the invitation, she joined him at the bar.
"Good evening Captain Janeway, can I offer you a drink?"
Janeway gave him a dirty look. "Thank you Captain, but I think I had quite enough last night. And it's Kathryn, by the way."
Picard smiled warmly. "Welcome aboard, the Enterprise Kathryn."
"Thank you Captain."
"Jean-Luc."
Janeway smiled. "Jean-Luc."
*
"Julian!"
"Miles! So, is Earth agreeing with you?" Bashir took a seat at small table and looked out over the crowd. Officers from the Enterprise, the Pearson, the Hermes and Voyager mixed lazily. The shear number of people had quickly overwhelmed Ten Forward. The masses had taken over the holodecks, the arboretum, and probably every other large area on the ship. Picard had made it clear to his staff that such overflow was to be accepted and encouraged as long as it didn't interfere with normal ship operations. Considering normal ship operations for the moment were limited to making sure the ship stayed connected to the station, it was not a hard order to follow.
"Julian, you wouldn't believe it. After living on DS9, Earth's an entirely different planet."
"Have you been to the Alamo yet?"
O'Brien smiled. "Not yet. I figured I'd wait until you got some leave."
"Thanks Miles."
"No problem." O'Brien's attention was caught by a tall blond entering the room. "Hey Julian, think she's your type?"
Julian glanced at Seven of Nine. "No I don't really think so."
O'Brien thought for a moment his friend had fallen ill, before he realised the true reason for Bashir's disinterest. "Things are going well with Dax, eh?"
Bashir let out a long sigh. "She's exquisite Miles. Everything about her is an enigma. She's innocent and wise at the same time. When I'm with her, it's like everything's new again."
Miles caught another woman out of the corner of his eye.
"Hey guys, what's up?"
Miles stood to leave. "Hi Ezri. Julian here was just waxing poetic about your virtues. I'm going to go and find Commander LaForge. I'll catch up with you two later."
Ezri waited until Miles was out of earshot before wrapping her arms around Julian's neck. "Waxing poetic about my virtues, huh? And what might those virtues be?"
Julian placed his hands on her waist and wondered aloud, "where to begin?"
*
"It's good to see the Captain laughing."
"Yeah it is." Beverly Crusher sat next to Deanna Troi watching Captains Picard and Janeway talking.
Deanna could sense genuine happiness from her friend, as well as a faint hint of deeply buried jealousy. That the Captain and CMO of the Enterprise had feelings for one and other was the most poorly kept secret on the ship. She thought a change of subject might spare her friend's feelings.
"Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay have quite a bond together."
"What?" Will Riker arrived bearing drinks just in time to catch Deanna's last sentence.
"I'd say Commander Chakotay has more of a bond with that blond hanging off his arm." Beverly sometimes had a hard time accepting her friend's empathy.
"Her?" Deanna noticed Seven of Nine for the first time. "On the surface, yes, there's interest. But what he has with his Captain runs much deeper."
Both Riker and Crusher raised eyebrows at her sceptically.
"They're like Vulcans."
The eyebrows inched higher.
"Let me try to explain this better. Although there's a lot of people in this room, some people are familiar enough to stand out to me empathically. The two of you, Commander LaForge, Data, Captain Picard. By focusing on the Captain, I can follow his emotions to Captain Janeway. His interest in her has changed in the past day from awareness solely because of our mission, to something else. She's a comrade in arms now, they've shared something that has brought them closer."
Deanna felt Crusher's jealousy spike, and quickly elaborated. "In many ways it's like a relationship between siblings; now that they have this common ground, they could be apart for years, but still pick up at the same point. It's not something that's likely to change or grow, but just to exist.
"Now that I'm aware of her presence, I can feel the emotional connections she has with the people around her. She is very emotionally invested in her crew, but much more so with her first officer. Where the others are like thin tethers, what they share is a sturdy rope, woven carefully by experience and feeling."
"Deanna, how does that make them Vulcans?" Beverly was glad to hear Picard wasn't interested in Janeway.
"Have you ever seen Vulcans touch fingers? It's a very intimate gesture. With one touch they communicate their state of mind, their physical presence, and so much more. Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay have a subconscious bond like that; see the way Chakotay positions himself so he can see her out of the corner of his eye? His conscious mind might be focused on Seven of Nine, but his unconscious is fixed on his Captain. I imagine he would find it uncomfortable to have his back turned to her."
"They're touching fingers subconsciously?" Beverly looked back at Picard and Janeway, amazed.
"Yes."
Picard turned toward Crusher, and gestured to her, inviting her to join him.
"Excuse me." Without a second thought, she walked over to Captain Picard.
Will leaned close to Deanna. "Let me guess, she and the Captain are touching fingers subconsciously too."
Troi just smiled.
"Do we touch fingers?" Will had a sudden surge of self-doubt. What if his relationship with Deanna lacked that kind of depth? What did that mean for them?
Troi moved in closer, her mouth hovering above his ear, before answering, "Sometimes. Usually we're touching a lot more than fingers."
*
"Geordi, Miles!" Gomez entered ten forward with Lieutenant Mertois and immediately spotted the two men she was looking for.
"Sonya, how're you doing?" Geordi had been worried about his former comrade since receiving her message.
"Good. I wanted to thank you both for helping me out."
"Anytime. So what's this about you leaving the engineering service?" O'Brien's tone took on an air of mock insult.
Gomez smiled sheepishly. "I don't really know. I transferred off the Excelsior after the war and became an aide to Vice-Admiral Hoya, but I don't think I have the legal qualifications to continue in that position."
O'Brien snorted. "I doubt there's enough legal experience in this room to help him now."
LaForge caught another familiar figure out of the corner of his eye. "Leah, come and join us. How are you feeling?"
"I'm still a little shaken up. I've never been in a firefight before. I don't know how you do it year after year."
O'Brien shrugged. "You get used to it."
Leah nodded thoughtfully for a moment before changing the subject, "how are repairs going on the Enterprise?"
Geordi shrugged. "Alright I guess. I'm still having trouble getting the core properly aligned. Automated systems are down and the manual adjusters have been damaged too. I've still got a 0.007 variance"
"You know, I might know someone who can help you with that. Voyager's chief engineer's top-notch."
"Nog might have some ideas too. I've seen him do things with engines you wouldn't believe."
Geordi smiled. Though the Enterprise would make the trip to Starbase 73 without incidence, LaForge didn't like to have his engines in less than perfect condition. That kind of dedication made him a difficult taskmaster at times, but it also made him one of the best engineers in the fleet.
"Do you think they'd mind taking a look right now? The Enterprise is scheduled to depart at 02:00."
Leah and O'Brien both shrugged. "I doubt it, they're engineers after all."
*
"Captain Dago, how are things on the Pearson?"
Dago and Kira had joined Picard, and Janeway, while Crusher had wandered off to talk to Dr. Bashir about a new vaccine treatment developed.
"As well as can be expected. We took heavy damage. Four decks suffered hull breeches. It's going to take 3 or 4 weeks before we can even limp out of here."
"I'm sorry to hear that Captain." Janeway knew the Pearson had also suffered heavy casualties, including her first officer and security chief when a power coupling behind the rear wall of the bridge had blown. Dago still had small patches of fur missing where sparks had hit him.
Dago shrugged. "She's and old ship, and she's had an honourable life. I've heard that she's to be decommissioned. I'm just glad her last mission was defending the Federation."
"Hear, hear." Picard raised his glass in toast. "To the Pearson."
"To the Pearson."
Dago raised his glass again after drinking. "And to Captain Reinhart and the Churchill. And all our fallen comrades."
"To Reinhart and the Churchill."
Aware that the thick crowd in Ten Forward was becoming aware of their actions, the officers kept their glasses lowered. Gradually, they drifted apart, leaving to talk to other officers. They had acknowledged the sacrifice of their fellows; now it was time to move forward.
*
Three weeks later, Kathryn Janeway lay in bed, insomnia having once again over taken her. After rolling over for what seemed like the thousandth time, she gave up and got out of bed. Normally when she couldn't sleep, she'd read a book, or stargaze from the mess hall. Neither option was available to her right now. After spending the last three weeks in one endless debrief, the thought of reading even Dante made her shudder. As for stargazing in the mess hall, those damned Padua were still out there, consuming the broken fleet of ships, reminding her of the cost of her freedom. She considered trying to find Chakotay, but knew he was probably with Seven of Nine, and she had no desire to be…what was Tom's phrase? 'A third wheel' with those two.
Realizing she wasn't going to get to sleep anytime soon, she went back to her bedroom and dressed quickly into a uniform. She didn't bother to fix her hair, choosing instead to leave it in the loose braid she'd been wearing in bed.
Checking her appearance in the mirror quickly, she headed out of her quarters and toward the bridge to the Starbase.
*
Chakotay wasn't sleeping any better; it just took him longer give up. Contrary to whatever thoughts the Captain had concerning his sleeping arrangements, he was spending the night solo, as he had been for quite some time. He was unwilling to push Seven, as she was just beginning to experience human relationships.
Chakotay rocked back on his heels. He just spent an unsuccessful hour trying to get in touch with his spirit guide. In spite of the akoonah, he couldn't concentrate tonight. He was too wound up. He just wanted to be on Earth, all this waiting was making him crazy. With a sigh, he decided to try another tactic.
"Computer, locate Captain Janeway." Maybe talking to the one other person on board guaranteed to be awake at this hour would help.
"Captain Janeway is on Starbase 4, level 10, section 18."
She was on the Starbase? Strange. Stranger still that she was in its bowels. All of their interviews had been on levels 110 through 150. He'd never been below level 45, and that was only when he rescued Janeway. He had no idea what was down there, but his interest was now piqued.
"Computer, what's in level 10, section 18 of Starbase 4?"
"Level 10, section 18 houses gym facilities."
Smiling to himself, Chakotay went and got dressed. He grabbed a standard issues Starfleet duffle tube he hadn't yet packed, and stuffed in some workout clothes and a water bottle.
*
When Chakotay emerged from the change room, he wasn't surprised that Janeway was the only person in the gym. The Starbase's population had been evacuated in preparation for their arrival. Not that many people usually lived here. Shipping lanes had moved in the 40 years since the station's construction. Only a skeleton crew remained, and they preferred to stay in the more inhabited areas of the station, back around level 150, the midpoint of the station.
What did surprise him was what she was doing. Having never exercised with the Captain, he didn't really know what to expect. He knew that she'd played tennis, but that was an activity more suited to the holodeck. What he found was the last thing he would ever have expected. Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Starship Voyager, was hanging from the ceiling of a faux rock wall, looking for all the world like a spider. He watched her progress, and realized with a start that she actually looked like quite a graceful spider.
Amazed, at the agility and strength she was displaying, Chakotay decided to announce his presence, "Careful you don't fall."
Janeway smiled at his voice. She didn't speak, preferring instead to answer a different way. She had been at the end of the overhang. After her next move, the ceiling turned into an angled wall. As she reached past the ceiling, and grabbed the first hold on the wall, she let her legs drop from the ceiling to dangle beneath her. She then proceeded to climb the ten feet to the true ceiling using only her arms. Once at the top, she made one final move, touching the ceiling with a hand, before releasing the wall altogether. She landed in a crouch on the padded floor.
She stood quickly and turned to face Chakotay. "Falling is half the fun."
Chakotay smiled. "I didn't know you were a climber."
Smiling back, Janeway reached for her water bottle. "I wasn't. Lieutenant Mertois introduced me to it while I was under lock and key."
"Lieutenant Mertois?" Chakotay wouldn't admit it, but he was jealous about the rapport they seemed to have built during their captivity.
"Yes, Lieutenant Mertois."
Sighing, Chakotay buried his feelings. He was involved with Seven, and she'd made her feelings clear to him. Or so he kept telling himself. "So, are you gonna show me how to do this?"
Janeway was surprised. "You've never rock-climbed?"
"Only in the academy training course, years ago. And I used my legs."
Janeway smiled at the hidden compliment. "I won't ask how many years ago."
Chakotay just grinned in response.
Grabbing him by the arm, she directed him toward the replicator. "C'mon, the first thing you need is a pair of shoes."
*
Janeway strode onto the bridge a few minutes before 07:00 hours the next morning. Though it would take the ship close to two days to return to the Terran system, Janeway intended to be on the bridge for as much of that time as possible. She had no interest in languishing in her quarters now that she was finally within sight of her goal.
She looked up as the turbolift doors opened, admitting Commander Chakotay to the bridge. She watched him make his way down to the command area, and then openly stared as he hesitated before settling difficultly into his chair to her left.
"A little sore today, are we Commander?"
Chakotay glared at her.
Leaning closer to him, she whispered, "You know, the Doctor could prescribe something to alleviate the muscle pain. Would you like permission to go to sickbay?"
Chakotay's scowl deepened. "Thank you Captain, but I'm fine."
Janeway smiled and leaned back in her chair. "You know I almost had to be carried out of the gym after the first time I went climbing."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but then I saw those damn security guards watching me. I could see the arrogance in their eyes. Made my blood boil."
Chakotay laughed at that. She was still as stubborn as ever.
"Well Commander, shall we get this show on the road?"
Chakotay nodded. "Yes ma'am."
"Ensign Kim, contact docking authority. Request permission to disembark."
"Aye Captain." The ensign's fingers deftly worked his controls. "Permission granted. Docking couplings released. We are clear to go.
"Mister Paris?"
"Course plotted and laid in."
"Excellent." Janeway was genuinely glad to have Paris back at the helm. It seemed every time Chakotay took control of a vessel something beyond his control went horribly wrong. Janeway raised her head slightly before speaking again. "Attention all hands: secure stations for departure."
"All hand report ready, Captain." Tuvok's voice was calm and measured as always.
Janeway nodded. "Take us out."
"Aye Captain." There was relief in the helmsman's voice; Janeway figured no self-respecting pilot was ever happy anywhere but open space.
"Captain, were receiving a message from Admiral Paris onboard the Hermes. We are to proceed to the Terran system as per orders. The Hermes and Pearson will follow our lead." Kim, often in danger as the bearer of bad news, was only too happy to deliver this message.
"You heard him, Mr. Paris, set course for the Terran system, warp 8."
"Yes ma'am." Janeway could hear the grin in his voice as he carried out her orders.
It wasn't until the stars were streaking by again that she released a breath she'd hadn't known she'd been holding. About bloody time she thought, settling back into her chair to enjoy the view.
*
Eighteen hours later the bridge crew was still on duty. Only Janeway had left her post, opting for her ready room instead of her chair on the bridge. Leaning back in her chair, she took a long sip of her coffee before putting her legs back up on her desk and returning her attention to the PADD in her hand. She was reading the latest evaluation of the Federation's state of readiness. If she was going to be back in the Alpha Quadrant, she had seven years of missed readiness reports, action evaluations and general gossip to catch up on. She figured there was no time like the present to start.
She had just started in on a report concerning the disappearance of Captain Benjamin Sisko at the conclusion of the Dominion War, and his possible present whereabouts, when the comm system interrupted her.
"Doctor to Captain Janeway."
With a sigh, Janeway answered the hail, "what can I do for you Doctor?"
"Captain, are you aware of the time."
Not in the mood at all for whatever games he might be playing, she glanced at the chronometer on her computer console. Oh one hundred hours. In truth, she'd had no idea it was so late, but she wasn't going to let the Doctor know that. "It's 01:00 hours, Doctor. What's your point?"
"My point, Captain, is that since we left space dock, not a single crewmember has left their post. New crews keep showing up, but no one's leaving. There are currently 15 people on the bridge. I'd order them to bed myself if I didn't know they'd mutiny on me."
"Doctor, it's only mutiny if they disobey my orders."
"All the same, if the crew doesn't get some sleep, you're going to have a tough time finding anyone still awake to land the ship."
"Point well taken Doctor, thank you for bringing this to my attention."
She could almost hear the smugness in his voice as he responded, "of course Captain, just looking out for the best interests of the crew."
Who would program a hologram to be smug, she wondered idly as she signed off. "Janeway out."
Taking a final drag of her coffee, she lowered her legs and called out to the computer once again, "Janeway to Commander Chakotay, report to my ready room please." It wouldn't do to have Chakotay see her with her feet up.
A few seconds later, the doors slid open, revealing the former Maquis. "What can I do for you Captain?"
"Chakotay, when did you come on duty this morning?"
Puzzled by the question, the commander's brow furrowed as he answered. "About 07:00."
"Do you know what time it is now?" Janeway was aware that she sounded painfully like the Doctor, but decided to ignore it for the time being.
"Not off hand, no." Chakotay was even more confused.
"It's 01:00, eighteen hours since the two of us reported for duty, and I have it on good authority that neither of us got to sleep before 03:00 last night."
Chakotay smiled, "I think I was asleep by about 02:30 hours. That sport wipes you out."
Janeway raised an eyebrow. "Is that why you kept falling off the wall, Commander?"
Chakotay raised his own eyebrow in response. "I never had the kind of exclusive training from a certain Starfleet security officer."
Janeway blushed. "Touché, Commander. But regardless, I'm going to go out onto that bridge and order anyone who isn't on Gamma shift to bed. I don't want Tom to crash land us because he hasn't slept."
"Do you really think he'll get much more in the same quarters as B'Elanna and Miral? That girl's got her mother's lungs."
"True enough, but at least I don't have to fear for my life this way. I don't want to see B'Elanna in the morning, especially if she thinks I kept her husband away all night."
"Point taken. As First Officer it's my duty to protect you. I suggest you get Tom off the bridge this instant in order to be sure you actually get to see Earth."
Janeway walked around her desk to stand beside him. Laying a hand on his arm, she guided him toward the door. "Come on Chakotay, let's put the kids to bed."
*
Forty-five minutes to go. Janeway wanted to be doing something, anything, but instead she sat calmly in her command chair, waiting for her helmsman to announce their arrival in the Terran system. She'd been sitting in the same chair for almost 6 hours now, unwilling to leave the bridge for fear something else would go wrong. However irrational the thought might be, having just passed Alpha Centuri, she couldn't shake the feeling that Q or some other disaster lay just around the corner waiting to jump out and yell, "just kidding". Part of her knew she wouldn't be happy until she was sitting back in Indiana, eating her mother's caramel brownies.
Her mother. She'd been consciously avoiding the thought ever since they got back to Alpha Quadrant for the first time. How would her mother react, how would she have changed? What about Phoebe, or Mark for that matter? How would she handle seeing them again? Suddenly forty-five minutes seemed like far too short a time to prepare for her own homecoming.
A touch on the arm brought her back to the present. "Are you okay? You look like you're back in the Delta Quadrant."
Janeway smiled at her First Officer's concern. "Part of me keeps expecting to wake up and find out this was all a dream."
"Well Kathryn, take heart, 'cause we're not going back to Oz anytime soon."
Janeway laughed lightly at his assurance. She was about to reply when Tom spoke up.
"Captain, we are entering the Terran system."
A few cheers went up around the bridge, but Janeway chose to ignore them. "Take us out of warp, Tom. Set a course for the third planet."
"Aye-aye Captain. Setting course." Janeway could hear Tom's grin as he carried out her orders.
"Captain, the Hermes is hailing us."
Janeway rose from her seat before answering Kim, "Onscreen Harry."
The viewscreen was replaced with the image of Admiral Paris. "Captain Janeway, we'll be taking our leave from you now. The Hermes and Pearson are needed elsewhere."
Janeway inclined her head slightly. "Of course Admiral, I think we can find our way from here."
Paris chuckled, "I should hope so, Captain. Though I doubt you'll be left alone for long." Admiral straightened his back. "Welcome home Captain. Hermes out."
"Captain, sensors are showing 15 ships approaching from Jupiter station. They're Federation short-range fighters."
"Mr. Kim, hail the lead ship." She knew they were probably their escorts, but truth be told, she would be quite happy to travel this last leg of their journey unescorted. Short-range fighters made her squeamish.
A helmeted head appeared on the screen. "Good afternoon, Captain. Lieutenant-Commander Brand and the 125th fighter wing here to escort you the rest of the way."
"Thank you Commander, would you like us to change course?"
"Not necessary, Captain, my officers will move to accommodate you."
About time someone moved to accommodate them. "Thank you Commander."
The man on the screen nodded once. "My pleasure Captain. And may I say, it's an honour." He moved his hand, cutting off signal.
"Captain, the ships have moved into standard escort formation. Except one, it's sitting directly above our impulse wash."
Janeway's brow creased. "What's the distance to target?" Flying near a Starship's impulse drive was dangerous and extremely difficult.
Tom double-checked his readings before answering, "it's only 50 meters from our hull, Captain."
Chakotay leaned toward Janeway. "Hell of a pilot to be pulling that kind of stunt."
Janeway just nodded.
Kim once again spoke up, "Captain, we are receiving a message from Lieutenant-Commander Brand. He's requesting confirmation that Tom Paris is piloting the ship."
Stranger and stranger. "Send it, Mr. Kim."
"Captain, we are approaching Earth." Tom was trying to keep his mind on the controls in front of him. He couldn't help wonder why Brand would care who was flying the ship.
"Take us into orbit, Mr. Paris."
Harry cut in again before Tom could respond, "Captain I am receiving another message from Brand. He's sent a revised flight plan, and is requesting we delay our descent until his signal."
"Tom, do you have our new flight plan?"
Tom chuckled as he replied, "Yes Captain. Looks like something I would have thought up myself."
Janeway smiled. It seemed her pilot's reputation had preceded him. "Mr. Kim, acknowledge Commander Brand's message."
"Aye Captain."
"All hands, prepare for landing." Janeway was relieved things were finally happening.
"Captain, the fighters are disengaging. They're forming up and heading into the atmosphere. Correction, one fighter has remained, holding position above our impulse engine."
"Put the ships on screen, Mr. Kim."
Obediently the screen blinked to show the fighters heading toward the surface in tight formation. One ship was clearly missing, leaving an ugly gap in an otherwise flawless flight.
It took Janeway a moment to realize the ships were flying the ancient 'missing man formation'. Silence hung heavily on the bridge as the crew came to understand what seeing this flight would mean to their family and friends. Chakotay touched a few buttons on his console, spreading the image to viewscreens throughout the ship. He glanced at Janeway, and saw a single tear roll down her face. He could only imagine the turmoil she was feeling; the elation of reaching Earth coupled with the realization that the journey was over.
As the ships finished their orbit, they saw the last ship move from its position behind Voyager to gracefully join the formation below them. The missing man had returned.
Kim reluctantly broke the silence. "Captain we're receiving a message from Brand. He requests we initiate landing procedures."
Janeway swallowed the lump in her throat then responded, "Take us down, Mr. Paris."
"Aye Captain, venting drive plasma, beginning atmospheric entry."
Under Tom's skilled hands, Voyager descended into Earth's atmosphere, making one final lazy orbit before circling San Francisco. From their higher position, they could just see the sun as it was swallowed by the Pacific. As the ship descended, it was engulfed once again in darkness. This time the lights of the city stood in for the stars on this final leg of their journey. With a small dip, the ship sailed by the Golden Gate Bridge, playfully dodging fireworks, before coming to a gentle rest on Starfleet Academy's parade grounds.
"Janeway to all hands, secure from stations, and initiate systems shutdown. Congratulations everyone, we've made it." Janeway turned toward Commander Chakotay to find him armed with a bottle of Champaign and glasses.
Smiling, he offered her a glass and filled it for her. "Congratulations, Captain."
Inclining her head slightly she asked him, "Where did you get that from?"
His smile deepened as her passed out glasses to the rest of the crew. He schooled his features before responding, "I'm afraid I can't tell you."
A raised eyebrow. "Oh?"
This time he grinned, "Temporal Prime directive."
Janeway laughed before raising her glass. "To the best crew a Captain could hope to have, on either side of the galaxy."
Chakotay interrupted before anyone could drink, completing the toast, "and to the Captain who was stubborn enough to get us back."
Shouts of hear, hear filled the bridge as the crew drank to their return.
"As of now you are dismissed. Go see your families."
Some of the smiles fell a bit as it finally hit home that their mission, and by extension their life on board Voyager was finally coming to an end. Gradually the crew filed out, leaving Janeway staring at her command chair. Chakotay stood at her side.
With a sigh, Janeway placed her arm on Chakotay's shoulder. "C'mon, Chakotay, lets go greet the brass."
Chakotay just smiled and followed her toward the turbolift.
*
When Janeway and Chakotay emerged from Voyager, they were met with absolute pandemonium. Instead of neat rows of Starfleet personnel, they were greeted by a mob. Hundreds of people stood around them each one reaching and yelling and struggling to get closer to them. Even in the midst of battle life on Voyager had been a study in controlled responses; throughout the stress on the engagement there was still an order to things. An economy of action. Each person knew their duty, and knew every other person on board. The occasional alien visitor was viewed as a novelty, but never allowed to disrupt the operation of both the ship and its personnel. Voyager's crew held onto the stability of the ship like a shield to defend against the unknown terrors that awaited them.
To be suddenly thrust into the chaotic mass of humanity was almost overwhelming. In seven years both Janeway and Chakotay had come to accept the personal space of a starship as normal. Now that space was being violated not by a single person, or by an unknowing or hostile outsider, but instead their own people imposing themselves. As they tried desperately to maintain some sense of control, they became aware that the population was not of a single mind, but held within it distinct groups. There were reporters, hollering questions toward the duo. Their flashes blinded them, punctuating the large spotlights already set up around the ship. They could also see some Starfleet uniforms in the group, fighting desperately to move through the ocean of people. Some of them Janeway thought she recognized as her crew, others were unknown to her.
The final group of people were the most unsettling. The majority of the mass was made up of civilians. She didn't recognize any of them, but it was clear each of them knew exactly who she was. Some of them reached out to her, touching her in a way that sent shivers crawling up her back. They obviously felt a connection with her, but she had no idea why. Some of them were weeping, unable to reach her they held their arms extended out toward her and called to her. She even saw a few people unconscious, being held up by those around her.
A sense of revulsion filled her, and she desperately reached for Chakotay, only now aware that the crowd was coming between them. In a final attempt to keep a hold of her sense of self, she reached for him, calling his name.
Time seemed to slow as his head turned toward her and his own arm shot out. Just a finger length apart, she couldn't reach him and she despaired. A small bump by a reporter closed the gap, letting them clasp fingers, hands, arms, and finally allowing them to pull the other close.
A few moments later she became aware of individual voices around her. The indistinct noise of the crowd was still very much present, but she could make out calmer, less frenzied commands.
"We need to get her out of here now."
"How do you…"
"There's a way clear."
A new set of hands gripped her shoulders, guiding her. She opened her eyes again to see a pair of Starfleet security officers in front of her. Though they were armed, it was clear they had no intention of firing on the crowd. She turned around to find another security guard guiding her through the path left by the lead guards. When her guide saw that she had regained her composure, she nodded once, lowering her hands and concentrating her attention on the crowd around them.
Janeway straightened her back, and schooled her features. Having the chaos at arms length made it bearable, and she was still a Starfleet Captain. In a few more step she actually reached out to take some of the hands that stretched out toward her. She could see the female security guard behind her, keeping a wary eye on her. As she continued toward the edge of the crowd, she looked for Chakotay, but it seemed he too, had been swallowed by the crowd.
In front of her several more guards were standing around the entrance to a small building. They formed a bubble, allowing her own escort to lead her inside. She recognized the building as one of the many small structures built on the Academy grounds. Having never entered one before, she she'd never really considered what they might be. She was surprised to be led past the grounds keeping equipment to an open service lift. The three guards closest to her boarded the lift with her and they began to descend.
As soon as the lift stopped, she was escorted down a small corridor, then through another door into a transporter room. The Commander operating the controls looked up as they entered.
"Co-ordinates set for Indiana. I'd like to apologize for the chaos out there, Captain. We had no idea that many people would actually show up."
"What about the rest of my crew?" Janeway didn't like the thought that some of her people could still be caught up in the turmoil above them.
"They've all been accounted for. You were the last person out." The Commander picked up a PADD from the console in front of him. "These are your official orders, as well as contact information should you wish to seek counselling."
Janeway took the PADD and stepped onto the transporter pad. She nodded and the commander and watched his hands play over the controls before surrendering to the transporter beam.
*
Janeway materialized on the front porch of her childhood home. Sighing, she slowly took in her surroundings. Nothing had changed since she'd last been here.
Except the security guard standing at the other end of the porch.
"Captain Janeway." The guard started toward her.
Janeway smiled and extended a hand. "Lieutenant Mertois. Are you to be my jailor again?"
Mertois returned the smile and took her hand. "Not this time. I'm afraid news of your arrival has spread. There are people out there who've been camping at the end of your driveway since your return was announced 4 days ago. Some of them are media types, but a lot of them are regular people who just want to see the hero of the Delta Quadrant." Mertois saw her face fall just a bit.
"I'm sorry Captain. I know about all you want to do right now is visit with your family and figure out what you're going to do with yourself now that you're back. The war took a toll on the civilian population too. They needed good news, and you're it."
Janeway nodded. "It's overwhelming. I knew we'd be celebrities, I just never knew so many people would care about us. It's flattering, I suppose."
"Go spend some time with your family. If it gets to be too much, Starfleet has set up a couple of other options for you. They're outlined in your orders."
"Thank you Patrick, if you or your men need anything, feel free to come in."
"Thanks Kathryn, but we should be alright. Now get inside, your mother and sister have been biting their nails since Voyager set down."
Janeway smiled at him one last time before taking a deep breath and knocking on the door.
Her sister answered almost immediately. She froze for a second, before enveloping Janeway in a bone-crushing hug. "God Kathryn, it's so good to see you."
Kathryn returned the embrace, tears streaming down her face. "Phoebe, I've missed you so much."
Breaking away from her sister, Phoebe guided her toward the door. "Mom's been beside herself since she heard you were back. She can't believe you're really here."
Kathryn nodded, "I can't really believe I'm back either."
Mertois watched wistfully as the two women walked arm and arm through the door. Though he'd only known her a few months, he was happy to see her finally make it back to Earth. He saw it not only as a completion of her mission, but on some level as a completion of his own; since being assigned to Voyager he'd always assumed the end result would be its return to Earth. Despite Hoya's plans, he'd seen that through.
*
"Kathryn, are you planning on staying there all day?"
Several days had passed since Voyager's return, and Kathryn was gradually adjusting to the idea of being back on Earth. She'd spent her first few days with her mother and sister, just talking. She hadn't left the house yet; the crowd at the edge of the property was still there, and she wasn't ready to face them. Instead she was reading the PADD she'd been given. It contained official notice of her extended leave, as well are some the contact information of the officers in charge of security, travel, and counselling services for the crew of Voyager.
Lifting her eyes from the PADD, Kathryn called out to her mother, "yeah mom, the idea had definitely crossed my mind."
Gretchen Janeway came and sat down by her daughter's feet. "How are you doing Kathryn?"
Smiling at her mother's concern, Kathryn responded, "I'm fine mom. But I figure I have seven years of loafing to catch up on."
Gretchen smiled at her and ran her hand over her daughter's head.
The beep of the comm panel interrupted them.
Gretchen stood and went to the comm panel in the kitchen. Upon seeing the sender information, she called out to her daughter.
Kathryn walked to the comm panel, wondering who would be trying to reach her. She too looked at the sender information before opening the message.
To: Captain Kathryn Janeway
From: Commander Chakotay
Subject: plans for leave
Format: Recorded message.
Why would Chakotay send her a recorded message? Gretchen saw the frown on her daughter's face, and quietly left her to open the message alone. Kathryn hadn't noticed her mother leave when she pushed the play button to activate the recording.
Chakotay's face filled the screen. He was dressed in a grey and black uniform, and seemed to be in quarters on a ship.
"Hello Kathryn, hope this message finds you well. I'm onboard the Enterprise right now, we broke orbit at 04:00 Indiana time this morning, so I had to settle for a recorded message. Seven and I are headed for Dranonia VII. Some of the best cyberneticists in the Federation work there, and have asked to see her before she modifies her implants further.
"Dranonia VII is also quite close to Dorvan V, so I hope to be able to visit what's left of the colony. After that, our plans are quite open; we really don't know what we're going to do with the rest of our leave or whether or not we'll return to Starfleet.
"I hope you get a chance to enjoy your leave, neither seven nor I could handle all the media attention, so we chose to book last minute passage off planet. I hope you have more success relaxing on Earth.
Chakotay smiled before signing off, "Commander Chakotay out."
Kathryn couldn't believe it. He was leaving Earth with Seven of Nine, trying to make a life for himself. In two days he'd already booked passage on a ship, he was planning for the future. And she…she had spent the day lying on her mother's coach. Not that she didn't want to catch up with her family, she did, but she knew that fundamentally she was avoiding reality, specifically her new reality now that she was back on Earth. For the past seven years she'd concentrated on returning to the Alpha Quadrant, and hadn't really thought about what she'd do once she got here. She realized that she had 3 months to get herself together, and make some pretty tough decisions.
A hand on her shoulder brought her out of her thoughts. "Hey, Kathryn, who was the message from?" Gretchen Janeway didn't know how to act around her daughter anymore. Their seven years apart had changed them, toughening her daughter, making her more emotionally masked.
Kathryn sighed and pressed the delete button. "It was from Chakotay, my first officer. He's left Earth."
"Do you want to leave Earth?"
Kathryn couldn't believe what her mother was saying. "What? I just got here."
Gretchen smiled. "That wasn't the question, Kathryn, and you know it. If you need to leave, I won't be upset. I know you need to work some things out."
Kathryn shook her head. "No, no of course I don't want to leave. I want to spend some time with you and Phoebe. And I still have to go see Mark."
Gretchen nodded as her daughter made every excuse for remaining, but knew she'd be gone within the week.