Disclaimer: None of this is mine. The song below is "Gone Away" by Cold
Author's Notes: I really appreciate the support I got for the first two chapters. I'm hoping to catch up with this story and continue it now that things have settled down for me a little. The next chapter is right here. By the way, I'm looking for a beta reader, not necessarily for this story, but for future pieces, so if you're interested, please say so in your review.
Fate's Fingers
by ordinary words
Chapter 3
"Yes, mom, I know it's almost Christmas. It's just, I've got a few more days of midterms to get through before I can come home." Rory Gilmore smiled into her cell phone as she responded to her mother's childish whining. "Besides, you've got Luke to keep you company."
"Pssh. Luke-Schmuke. He can't down an entire bag of marshmallows in one sitting like you can."
"Well, I'm glad to know our relationship is based purely on food."
"Besides, you know I can't decorate the tree without you! And it's already December 1st!"
"See, you're doing fine without me. You're actually keeping track of the dates now. Better than the last time I called," remarked Rory, referring to her mother's post-coffee stupor.
"Was that a stab at insulting my intelligence? Because it was so....right," Lorelai admitted. "So," she continued more seriously, "What's new with you?"
"Aside from midterms you mean? Nothing really." A sketchy outline of a familiar smile and a pair of hauntingly dark eyes reappeared in the back of her mind, challenging her to mention him. With a small smile on her mouth, she decided it'd been years, so it shouldn't matter to Lorelai. "I saw Jess."
"Otherwise known as Satan's left hand man? Where?"
"Isn't it right?"
"Huh?"
"Right hand."
"Right hand what?" Lorelai asked, confused.
Rory grinned and shook her head. "Never mind. I saw him at a coffee shop downtown. He's just like always. Only not so Satanic."
"He puts the horns back on at night. He always was the devious type and-"
"Mom."
"Sorry. So, have you guys had your Danielle Steele-I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever-let's-make-out-in-a-darkened-coffee-shop-and-have-casual-sex episode yet?"
"Mom!"
"Well? It's only inevitable, right? So, Rory, was it good?" she mocked, deepening her voice into the gruff caricature of a reporter.
"Changing the subject now. Actually though, I have to go. It's getting dark out, and I still have my coffee run to make before I go back to my apartment."
"Don't you mean your Jess run?"
"Bye mom. Tell Luke I said 'Hi'. I'll call you before I come down."
"Try not to do it on the tabletops, ok? People have to eat there, you know."
"Mom, I told you to stop using sock puppets to talk to. It's jeopardizing your sanity."
"Bye, hon. Love you," she crooned sweetly.
"Whether I feel mutually is questionable."
"C'mon, I'm too insane not to love."
"I guess you're right. The insanity grows on me."
"Bye, Ror."
Her mother's words echoed in the back of her head. "So, have you guys had your Danielle Steele-I-haven't-seen-you-in-forever-let's-make-out-in-a-darkened-coffee-shop-and-have-casual-sex episode yet?" Smiling, she couldn't help but let herself revel in that idea for a few moments before she broke her own reverie.
*
*
With a click, Rory snapped her cell phone shut and slipped it into her coat pocket. She spilled out onto the street, the city humming with an odd quiet that was in between the daily hustle and the nighttime buzz. The sky was alive with twilight-purple radiance that combined with the yellow glow spilling through urban apartment windows. It made Rory feel cozy and oddly at home.
As she neared the coffee shop, however, that feeling fled as quickly as it had come when she saw the shop darkened eerily when it should have been glowing invitingly. A black-and-white sign slammed her in the face. CLOSED. It was never closed. And this early? Dejectedly, Rory turned around and walked back, feeling disappointed and disconnected, off from her usual routine. The night grew colder and darker, paralleling her mood. She couldn't figure exactly why she was so disoriented all of a sudden, but she knew if only she had been able to talk to him for a few minutes, then she would've felt less stressed about everything. Then she begged herself to stop thinking about him, because it felt just like it had a few years back, and she would not fall for him again. No. She couldn't. Not after how it had all been last time.
*
*
Jess: What happened?
Rory: (sniffling) He dumped me.
Jess: I'm sorry.
Rory: Thanks.
Jess: Look, I've gotta go meet Shane.
Rory: What? [confused]
Jess: Well, what did you expect from me Rory?
Rory: I don't-I don't know. I just thought that, now that Dean is gone, we could...I don't know. Talk about stuff.
Jess: We could what? Forget about all this bullshit you put me through and go back to everything being hunky-dory? I'm not him. I don't know why you keep expecting me to be. I can get over you Rory. I don't have to sit around and wait. I'm sick of trying to interpret you. You want something? You tell me.
(he leaves, slamming the door behind him)
*
*
Rory remembered bitterly, the pain that dulled the spark in his eyes, like ashes lowering the fire. The echo of the door slamming in her head brought back the wave of pain and realization she had felt while sitting there, alone and empty in the warmth of the dinner. Only, it hadn't felt warm to her. She had known it was all lost, and for the rest of the night, she had sat there, swirling the contents of her mug around quickly, watching the brown liquid seep over the edge and drip down, burning, onto her pale skin. She had been too numb to feel the heat.
*
*
She felt ridiculous for dwelling on the past so much. She had only seen him twice. And what did the coffee shop being closed for one night have to do with anything between them now? Blearily, she stumbled into her apartment, her eyes clouded with nighttime and sadness. Feeling nostalgic, she washed her face, trying to tell herself that she didn't want him now, that she wasn't addicted again. But she was. And the coffee shop seemed to be an omen for something that was looming, something that would cut their ties again, and leave her, stuck in the ordinary world with no love and no escape.
Hoping blindly in her room before sleep came, she rolled over and shut her eyes tightly, trying to shut out images of him. But for once in her life, Rory failed.
*
*
Mornings and evenings passed Rory Gilmore by, and she continued to check on coffee shop progress. The progress continued to disappoint her, and the shop was dark even in the hot-white glow of the afternoon, in the bustle and chatter of the busy streets on a Saturday morning. The more days that passed, the more she began to long for the plush chairs, the coffee steaming like smoke from chimneys in the winter, and the dark eyed, sharp-witted company that came with service.
Finally, after a week, she gave up her search, and retreated to the local Starbucks. But the enigma of him followed her everywhere she went, and showed its face in every dark-eyed counter boy. And occasionally, when the night overtook her and the moonlight lit her face, a few crystal tears would leak out of her eyes and drop slowly off her chin, evaporating as the sun broke over the skyline.
*
*
Do you pray...
In the night...
Can you appreciate the wind?
I won't care...
I won't fight...
I need you close to see it's the same beginning.
Gone Away...
It's the same old, same old song.
Gone Away...
It's my whole life in words.
I can't breathe...
When you cry...
I'll be there to hold you tight.
I would kill...
I would fight...
To keep you close I'll keep singing the same way.
I won't live...
If you died...
If I can't feel you in the wind.
This is me...
It's my life...
I need you close to see it's the same beginning.
Gone Away...
It's the same old, same old song.
Gone Away...
It's my whole life in words.
Gone Away...
It's the same old, same old song.
Gone Away...
It's my...whole life...
I can't think...
I don't know...
I'll fall...
I'll call...
Gone Away...
It's the same old, same old song.
Gone Away...
It's my...Whole life.