'Cartouche'

by Makura Kirei

chapter 4: Wufei and Horemheb

Author's note: I started a little project last week. What I've been doing is I've been writing down stupid and weird quotes from my classmates, overheard conversations, and just quotes in general that I find funny. Here's a sample:

"Volleyball is NOT a game! Be serious!"

"--Freckles don't bleed.

--They don't?"

"I'm a wildebeest. Caw, caw, caw!"

"We're going to hell. Care to join us?"

So far, I've collected 11 pages…I was wondering if any of you people out there in readerland would like to contribute any quotes that you think are as funny, stupid or just downright nonsensical as the above quotes. If so, please e-mail me @ SakuraWing01@aol.com. Any types of quotes are welcome. 

GW and SM exist in the same dimension. Don't ask me how that's possible, it just _is_.

That's pretty much it. Oh, one other thing. Is it too much to ask for 5 reviews per chapter? PLEASE? I don't mean to be demanding or anything, but it would be nice to know that at least 5 people care enough about my story to let me know what they think. So, remember, 5 reviews per chapter, or they'll keep getting shorter.

Previously on Cartouche:

"Because, my dear boy, you and Horemheb are positioned to be the rulers of new Egypt." Ay stated, as if it was obvious.

"New Egypt?"

"Oh, I neglected to tell you of the prophecy. Basically, it states that whoever collects the four artifacts will be able to unlock the gates of the underworld and reach the throne of Osiris. There, whoever possesses the four artifacts (which form a key) will be awarded the kingdom of New Egypt to rule over."

"Ooookay…" Duo paused. "Who's Horemheb?"

"Horemheb was the commander of Tutankhamun's vast army. Like me, he hated Tutankhamun too, though for a different reason. He never did tell me why. But at any rate, Horemheb and I underwent a special ritual so that we could be reincarnated at the same time as Tutankhamun, so that he wouldn't get another chance to rule. In this life, I believe Horemheb is the one you call Wufei."

Meanwhile, back in the real world…

(I'll just skip over Wufei's induction as Horemheb. I don't want to be feeding you the same thing again. Let's just say that Wufei and Horemheb both thirst for power, and Heero and Tutankhamun are the highest figures of authority (and power). The next paragraph starts in the museum, 2 days after Hotaru learns who she is.)

Hotaru sighed. She ran over the conversation in her mind. "You will meet Tutankhamun in this very place two days from now, at 11:00am. You will meet him in front of this case. When you see anyone who looks like he might be Tutankhamun, walk up to him and say 'Egypt lives again.' If he responds 'As do her enemies.', he is Tutankhamun. You will work from there." Osiris said.

Well, it was 11:15, and so far, none of her prospective Tutankhamuns had answered with anything other than a 'huh?', 'what?', or 'get away from me, freak!'. As if a strange girl approaching them and saying 'Egypt lives again' would provoke any other reaction.

'Great, now I'm the resident lunatic. What else could go wrong?' Hotaru thought, looking at her watch again. 11:16. Whoever this Tutankhamun was, he was _not_ very punctual.

She leaned back against the glass case, sighing intermittently as she stared at the door. 'What do they mean: looks like Tutankhamun? I've never seen him before in my…well, this life!' Hotaru rolled her eyes.

Yet another teenage boy walked through the door. Lean and evil-looking (AN: forgive me, Heero), with chocolate brown hair and icy blue eyes that glared at anything that moved, Hotaru fervently hoped that _this_ was not her past husband. 'Just wait and see if he makes his way over here.' Hotaru thought. 'If not, then he isn't Tutankhamun, and I'm none the worse for wear.'

But, oh horror of horrors, the boy slowly began to make his way over to Hotaru's little corner. 'Shit.' Hotaru swallowed hard, and waited until he was standing about a foot away from him. She walked up, tapped him on his shoulder, and murmured, "Egypt lives again." Hotaru crossed her fingers.

The boy looked taken aback for a split second. 'Oh thank god,' Hotaru thought, before he muttered, "As do her enemies."

They stared at each other, not sure what to do. All Osiris had said was 'you'll work from there' and that was it. Hotaru shifted uncomfortably. The boy's stare was unnerving her. He seemed to be staring into her soul.

"You're late." Hotaru said the first thing that popped into her head, then blushed at the stupidity. 'God, how ditzy can you get?' She chided herself.

"No."

'Not very talkative.' Hotaru noticed. "Yes you are; it's 11:17. you were supposed to be here by 11:00."

"Your watch is fast." He said.

"I highly doubt that." Hotaru said, miffed. Already she was beginning to dislike this guy.

"My watch has atomic time." He thrust his watch in her hand. 11:01:48.

Hotaru shrugged. "Fine."

"You were the one who brought it up."

She rolled her eyes. "Okay. So, what's your name?" She asked, trying to be friendly.

"Hn."

Maybe she didn't hear right. "I'm sorry?" Hotaru smiled just a bit.

"Hn." He repeated.

Hotaru's smile became strained. 'What the hell?' "Why won't you answer me?"

"Hn."

"Great. Homo-habilis, I presume? Look. It's bad enough that you are supposedly the reincarnation of my past husband. I really don't mind the bit about the watch, or the fact that your stare creeps me out, but when you refuse to answer my simple question in anything but a grunt, I start to get a little pissed. Add to all of that the fact that we supposedly are going to rule an ancient kingdom together, and you won't even tell me your fucking name. So, I ask it of you, stranger, have the common courtesy (at least it _should_ be common) to tell me your name, before I let Egypt fall to Horemheb and Aye and be done with it!" Hotaru's voice rose with the last sentence, and she finished her tirade, glaring at him.

His face didn't show anything. It was unreadable. Hotaru thought she caught the faintest glimmer of a smile, but it disappeared almost as quickly as she thought she saw it.

"Ore wa Yuy Heero." He said it so quietly Hotaru almost didn't catch it. She relaxed, and smiled.

"Great. Now that that's out of the way, I'm Hotaru Tomoe. What do you say we go to the coffee shop across the street to work all of this out?" Hotaru offered.

"Hn." Heero grunted and headed out the door.

"Great." Hotaru sighed.

( I could end it there, but I won't.)

"Okay," Hotaru said as they sat down at a table, "who are you? I think we should both get to know each other if we're supposed to be working together to defeat the ubiquitous villains who want to (gasp) take over the world."

Again, Hotaru thought she saw the glimmer of a smile, but it disappeared quickly, like a mirage. He shifted his gaze to the window, at the passerby. His face was unreadable; 'like a soldier should look;' Hotaru thought. He looked back at her. His eyes bored into her; if they were windows into the soul, the curtains were closed on his.

Hotaru shifted uncomfortably. "Well, why don't I start, since you seem to be having trouble answering. I'm Hotaru Tomoe; I'm 20, and I go to Mugen College. I don't have any job or occupation, per se…" Hotaru shifted uncomfortably. There was that stare again. "Look, I never do this with people I've just met, but I don't think we should keep secrets, especially if we are supposedly the Earth's only hope." Her voice dropped. "I was, and still am, one of the 10 sailor senshi. Sailor Saturn, to be precise. I am the princess of Saturn, and I am one of the Moon princess's warriors. I fight evil in this short, hideous little miniskirt, and I have special powers. I can shoot balls of energy from my glaive. I have a long and bloody past. I am the most powerful outer senshi; I am the equal of Sailor Moon; she can create worlds, and I can destroy them. I have not had to fight for the past 6 years; there haven't been any more hell-bent villains from outer space (not that I recall, anyway). Um, I had another past life as one of the princesses of Sailor Moon's court during the silver millenium. Other than that, my life is prettty uneventful." Hotaru finished, smiling with the last bit.

What the hell was she doing? Pouring out ALL of her secrets to some stranger she just met a few minutes ago? For she knew, he could be another hell-bent villain, and she just gave away her secret identity. Baka baka baka!

She looked up at Heero, expecting to see his mouth hanging open. But, there was that stare…glare…again. She would have at least expected him to show surprise, but no, there was nothing. Dammit! "Don't you ever show any emotion?" She wondered aloud, then covered her mouth.

"It's part of my training." He answered, after a lengthy pause.

Hotaru frowned. "Well?" Hotaru asked expectantly. "What to you have to say about my, um, colorful past?"

"Hn." Was his response.

"Well, I would expect more of a response. Usually, when people find out I'm a senshi, they act surprised, to say at least. You must have an incredibly unusual past for you not to even blink an eye." Hotaru said, raising her eyebrows.

Heero looked up sharply. His eyes narrowed. Hotaru drew back a bit. He returned to his normal glare. "Sailor Saturn." He said. "Show me." He commanded.

Hotaru eyed him, making sure there was no innuendo concealed in there. When she was satisfied, she asked, "If I do, will you tell me who you are?"

He nodded. "Got any secluded place you could take me to?" She asked. Without a word, he got up and walked out. Hotaru followed.

"Get on." He indicated his motorcycle. 'He must have parked it here before he came into the museum.' Hotaru thought as she got on behind him. He handed her a helmet, waited for her to put it on, then took off. Hotaru gasped at the sudden rush, and instinctively put her arms around his waist to steady herself. She blushed at the closeness, but Heero seemed to be unaffected. Presently they arrived at a mobile suit hangar. Heero stopped, got off, and motioned for her to follow him.

The hangar was completely empty. Not even a mobile suit, or a part of that one, for that matter, could be found. "I guess you really meant secluded." She said.

Heero walked back a few feet. "Transform." He commanded.

Hotaru sighed. "Okay. Don't say I didn't warn you though; I'm warning you now. Saturn Star Power!" She henshined, and stood in full form, glaive in hand. "Well? What do you want me to do?" She asked.

"Hn."

"Fine. Whatever." She shrugged, and shot a ball of purple energy from her glaive. (gomen; I haven't watched Sailor Moon in 2 years and I can't remember any attacks (although it's not that big of a loss) (shudder)).

  "Anything else?" She asked, only to be met with a right hook. Onlythrough her quick reflexes did she manage to block it. "What the hell was that?" She yelled, only to be met with a flurry of punches. Apparently Heero wanted to test her hand to hand combat ability. Hotaru shrugged, and parried and blocked, and landed quite a few punches of her own. As much as the ones Heero managed to land. They were evenly matched. Heero stopped, panting SLIGHTLY. Hotaru stopped too, looking at him. "Anything else?" Heero shook his head.

"Great. Now that that's over, who are you?" Hotaru asked, de-henshining.

"Heero Yuy. Gundam Pilot 01." He stated simply. Hotaru's jaw dropped. No wonder he was unfazed. The perfect soldier; the infamous 01. Cool.

"So that's why." Hotaru said thoughtfully. "So now what? What do you suppose we do about the artifacts? And the fact that the key is under lock and key, no pun intended?" Hotaru asked, cocking her head to one side. "Do you know who Aye and Horemheb are?"

"No. Tonight, when the museum closes, we infiltrate and steal the parchment before they obtain it." Heero said.

"Now normally I would object to stealing, but I suppose it is justified." Hotaru said. "I trust you have the necessary equipment?"

"Hai."

"Good. I'll meet you in front of the museum at 7:00pm. That should give both of us ample time to fix affairs and get equipment." Hotaru said. "Could you give me a ride back to the museum?" She asked.

He nodded, and got on the motorcycle. They sped towardds the museum, each wondering what fate had in store for their future.

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