Title: (Chapter 3) A Patented Lorelai Gilmore Freakout
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Third Season, post-Haunted Leg
Rating: PG (for language)
Summary: What happens before the big date.
Disclaime Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman-Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing. =========================================================================
Lorelai went home and replayed the evening's details to an impatient Rory. She drew out the story as long as possible, in spite of the fact it was past her daughter's bedtime.
"And then Luke kissed me!"
Rory knew her mother was going to embarrass her with details, so she cut to the chase. " Any tongue?"
"Hello, personal! Well, Luke's kind of a shy kisser but with a little practice, he could probably win a contest. And besides, I've gotta have something to look forward to on our date!" She began to sing her favorite Bananarama song. "He used to be a shy boy, until I made him my boy, oh yeah"
Rory still felt embarrassed. "Do you think you and I are the only mother and daughter on this planet who have these conversations?"
"Probably, we're a freakshow. I wouldn't want it any other way."
"So, you're going on an actual date with Luke? What have you got planned?"
"I don't know - all I know is he's picking me up Saturday night at 8. I don't even know what to wear or where he's taking me. I wonder if he does." She panicked. "Wait a minute - I think I have to plan the date - I'm the one who did the asking! What if he shows up here and asks, so where are we going? And I say, I don't know, I thought you were planning this? And we just sit here all night arguing about where to go. He'll want to go to the Tofu Palace and I'll want Mickey D's!"
Rory saw the inevitable Lorelai Gilmore freak-out coming and hoped she could calm her down. "But if he's the one doing the picking you up at 8 thing, isn't it his job? I know Luke probably hasn't been on a date in a while, but he's not stupid. When you see him tomorrow at the diner, bat your eyes at him and ask, 'Hey where are we going on Saturday? Do I need to buy a new dress, one with plenty of cleavage?'"
It wasn't working. "That's right, I have to go to the diner tomorrow - and when I see him, what do I do? Do I kiss him? If he doesn't allow cell phones, he certainly won't look kindly on PDAs. I meant public displays of affection, not personal digital assistant. But if don't kiss him, will he be insulted? God, this is so complicated. I wonder if Luke's as freaked out as I am."
"I'll bet he's over the moon. He's probably smiling in his sleep. Mom, what does Luke look like when he smiles? I don't think I've ever had the privilege."
"Like Luke with a smile. Umm. how do I describe this? It's weird, but his face looks different - like he's lit up from within." She sighed.
Rory hadn't seen her mother this smitten since the morning of Sookie's wedding. "You've got it bad for him."
"I do. Rory, I think it's time to go to bed. Although I'm not sure I'll be getting much sleep."
Next morning, the Gilmore girls headed to Luke's Diner. Lorelai was dragging her feet.
"Mom, stop stalling. Don't tell me that your shoes have gained weight overnight. And I'm not going to Al's Pancake World, so don't even think about it!"
Lorelai spied Luke through the window. "Ohmygod! There he is. He's sooo cute! I can't face him."
"You sound just like Lane. Hey, just do what you always do - bug him for coffee, order a high cholesterol breakfast disguised as healthy food and then throw silverware at him when he refuses to play along with your shenanigans. Or will you need me to feed you lines, a la Cyrano?"
"Great Idea!"
"Mom, I'm not good with the coffee-as-sex metaphors. But I'll never make it to school on time if you keep stalling. Do you want me to go in there first and ask him if you should kiss him good morning? And who's planning your date? And should you name your twins Sid and Nancy?"
"The first two, not the last. We don't want to scare him off."
"Yeah, because it's not like you're a freak or anything. Wait for me, I'll be right back."
Rory entered the diner and walked up to the counter. Jess saw her and walked over.
Jess was his usual charming self. "Well, if it isn't Ayn Rand - To what do I owe the honor?"
"I'm not in the mood, Jess. Where's your uncle?"
"I'm right here. Jess, don't harass Rory, she's a good customer. Caesar needs your help in the kitchen." Jess made a face and walked away. "What can I get you, Rory?"
"Coffee, scrambled eggs with a side of hash browns."
"What about your mom? I don't see her."
"She's outside, she's um, kind of afraid to see you."
Luke tried to hide his worry from Rory. "She did tell you what happened last night, right?"
"Yup, and I'm really happy for you both. It's just that she's having a patented Lorelai Gilmore freakout. She's not sure how to act around you."
Luke smiled in relief. "Really? She's nervous?"
"So it IS true, you actually can smile!"
"Very funny. I do, when I have something to smile about. Can you tell me what she's freaking out about exactly? I have a diner to run, you know."
Rory suddenly felt stupid playing romantic mediator; these were grown adults, not sixth graders. "Sorry. Well, she's not sure if she should kiss you hello and she's wondering where you're going on your date. She wasn't even sure who's planning it - you or her."
Luke sighed. "She's nuts. Please go and tell her she doesn't have to kiss me hello. I'm not too fond of PDAs, especially when I'm working. As for the date, I'm planning it. Just tell her it's a surprise and to wear something pretty. And tell her that I'd like to see her, the morning's not the same without her.."
Rory noticed Luke's exasperated affection for her mom. "Aw, I see why she likes you. Be right back."
Rory exited the diner and walked up to Lorelai who was humming "Shy Boy."
"So, what took you so long? What did he say?"
"He really wants to see you. To answer your burning questions: He says he's not fond of PDAs in the diner and, yes, he's planning the date. It's a surprise but you should wear something pretty."
"A surprise? I don't like surprises. Please go back in there and..."
Rory ran out patience and grabbed her mom's elbow. "Mom, stop it! Get in there!"
"I'm going, I'm going."
They entered the diner and took an empty table by the window. Lorelai looked around for Luke.
"Where is he? Is he avoiding me?"
Rory rolled her eyes at her mother. Suddenly, Luke appeared at the table with Rory's breakfast.
"Here, Rory, coffee, scrambled eggs and hash browns." He looked at Lorelai. "What can I get you?"
Lorelai avoided his gaze. "An egg white omelet with spinach..and a Sanka."
"Coffee and French toast, got it."
Lorelai looked up at him with deadpan expression. "No, I'm serious. That omelet you made me yesterday, I really liked it and I must have another."
Luke half hoped she was serious - maybe he was getting through to her, in more ways than one. "You really want the omelet? But you're joking about the Sanka."
"I lied about the Sanka, but I want the omelet. She paused. "Only take the egg, keep the yolk, lose the spinach and add some toast. Make it French."
Luke sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true. Like I said, coffee and French toast, coming up...um Lorelai?"
She looked up and met his eyes, smiling sweetly. "Yes?"
Luke returned her smile. "It's nice to see you this morning." He headed to the kitchen.
Rory witnessed the exchange while she quickly ate her breakfast. "See? You had nothing to fear and that omelet/Sanka thing was pretty good. You nearly had him! Hey, I'm about finished, so I'm gonna catch the bus to school. You'll be ok without me?"
Lorelai looked at her wistfully. "I'll never be ok without my darling daughter...Have a good day!"
A few minutes later, Luke returned with her breakfast. "Here you are - French toast and coffee."
"Thanks. Luke, I didn't mean to yank your chain before with my order."
"Liar!"
Lorelai cut her toast. "So, I can still tease you and be my usual lovely slash annoying self?"
"Don't feel like you have to act differently around me just because we're, you know, dating. Hey, didn't you feel kind of stupid loitering outside and have Rory act as a go between?"
Lorelai felt embarrassed. "Yeah, I don't know what got into me." She paused. "So, can you give me a hint where we're going tomorrow night?"
"No, it's a surprise and don't pester me into revealing any secrets."
"But you said you don't want me to change and pestering is what I do best!"
"Me and my big mouth - ok, here's something, I'll feed you. And, don't worry I'm not taking you to the tofu palace. I'm taking you someplace nice, so wear something pretty."
"But I don't know what you think is pretty, for all I know, you'll want me to dress all in flannel!"
Luke pictured Lorelai in his apartment wearing nothing but one of his flannel shirts. "OK, here's a reference point - I liked the "Mimi" dress. The one you wore the night we made up? It was dark with roses on it and I thought you looked really pretty in it."
Lorelai blushed. "Thank you. The "Mimi" dress- that helps. Hey, are you sure you don't want to date her instead?"
"You're funny. Now eat your food before it gets cold."
"Yes, dear!"
Later at work, Lorelai relayed the recent events to Sookie in the kitchen. Sookie was so excited she was jumping up and down.
"Oh honey, I'm so happy for you! You and Luke, it's about time! Are you excited?"
"I'm terrified! I mean, I totally freaked out this morning just because I didn't know what to say to him. I mean, once Luke and I were doing our usual diner bit, I felt much better. He has a way of calming me down."
"And that's why you're perfect for each other! You're hyper, he's not. He'll bring you into balance. That's what Jackson does for me." She noticed Lorelai's sober expression. "What's wrong?"
"Everyone keeps saying how perfect we are, but what if we're not? I just feel like everyone, including Luke and myself, has such high expectations for the date that I won't be able to enjoy it. And that's exactly what I don't want. I want to enjoy it because I'm gonna ruin it if I don't. Am I making sense?"
"I understand. I felt that way when Jackson and I started dating. But you just have to stop thinking about the future and just enjoy the moment. Because you're gonna want to remember it. And believe me, if you start to have a panic attack or something - bring a paper bag to breathe into."
"A paper bag, huh?"
"Uh-huh, it works wonders. So what are you gonna wear, do we need to do some shopping?"
"Like I need an excuse to shop? Hey, do you know that dress - dark, flowy chiffon with the flowers? He likes that. But I don't want to wear that, I want him to see me in something new. I want to take his breath away, so he'll need the paper bag..."
"Let's go to the mall in Hartford. Do you want to bring Rory?"
"I'll ask her when she gets home."
It was Saturday night, a bit before 8. Lorelai was in her bedroom, in a slip, the entire contents of the closet on the floor. She was freaking out.
Rory knocked on the door. "Mom, you ok in there? Luke'll be here soon and.."
Lorelai yelled, "Gee, thanks for the reminder! In fifteen minutes you and he will have to rescue me from pile of silk, leather and chiffon and resuscitate me. Although I would prefer if he gave me the mouth to mouth, no offense!"
Rory entered the room and took in the mess. "None taken. Mom calm down! Geez, you're just like Paris before her date with Jamie. What happened to the red wrap dress you bought today?"
"I put it on and I realized that none of my shoes go. I don't own any red shoes. Hello! If I were the girl in the Bowie song, I would, but I don't!"
"You don't need dyed to match shoes - you're not a bridesmaid. Just wear your black high heeled mary janes. Those are great shoes and go with everything."
"Ah Rory, what would I do without you? I'll find the dress in the pile and you look for my shoes."
Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai was dressed. Rory put the finishing touches on her mother's hair and make-up.
"Do I look appropriately slutty?"
"Mom, you look gorgeous. Luke's a lucky man."
"Thanks, sweetie."
The doorbell rang. "Rory, go downstairs and make Uncle Luke feel at home, just like Auntie Mame taught you."
Rory came downstairs, opened the door and saw Luke standing outside. He was clean shaven, wearing a black suit with a dark red shirt, no tie and black shoes. Without his usual uniform, it was a bit jarring for Rory to see him dressed up.
"I'm sorry sir, but I think you have the wrong house."
Luke played along. "I'm Luke Danes - I have a date with your mother."
"Oh! Nice to meet you! Come in."
Luke entered the house and followed Rory into the living room.
"You DID know it was me, right Rory?"
"Well, you look like Luke, but something's off. Like, you're his GQ twin."
Luke was in a playful mood. "I'll let you in on a little secret, don't tell your mother, ok? The real Luke is locked up in the storeroom. I shoved the baseball cap in his mouth and tied him to a chair with a flannel shirt. I'm really his doppelganger!"
Rory laughed nervously. "You're scaring me - I don't think you should date my mother!"
"I'm kidding....I just wanted to look nice. I mean, I asked your mom to look pretty for me, it's the least I could do. But I drew the line at a tie. I hate ties." He suddenly felt nervous. "Do I look ok without a tie?"
"Like I said, you look really GQ. That's a complement."
"Thanks."
"Let me see what's keeping Mom."
Rory went upstairs and saw Lorelai sitting in her room staring at herself in the vanity.
"Luke's here, he looks really nice, I almost didn't recognize him. Ready for your big entrance?"
"I'm just nervous. Hand me my purse, will you? Oh crap, I need a paper bag."
"For what?"
"In case I hyperventilate."
"We have some in the kitchen. I'll get one."
"I'm ready now. Do you have the CD cued up? I'll come down after the first verse."
Rory came downstairs again and turned on the CD player in the living room. "Kiss me" by Sixpence None the Richer plays.
Luke heard the gooey sounding pop music. "What's going on?"
"Have you ever seen 'She's All That?'"
"She's all what?"
"It's a Freddie Prinze, Jr. movie. We're mocking the scene where the geeky/pretty girl comes down the stairs and her hunky date falls in love with her. Just play along, ok?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm assuming the role of the geeky/pretty girl, right? Rory, you and your mom are freaks."
Rory smiled. "We know." She shouted upstairs. "Mom, it's your cue!"
Lorelai came downstairs in her red dress with a doe-eyed expression on her face. "Hey, I can give that Rachel Leigh Cook a run for her money, huh? And I'll bet I make a much better Josie than she could! "
Luke gazed at her as she reached the bottom step. "I have no clue, as usual, what you're babbling about Lorelai, but you look beautiful!"
Lorelai smiled at Luke, taking notice how handsome he looked. She realized he was wearing the suit she had picked out for him at Bloomingdale's last year. "Thanks, Freddie. So do you. Nice suit. Now, what did you do with the real Luke, you evil doppelganger?"
Rory decided to blow Luke's cover. "I think he's tied up in the storeroom."
Luke laughed. "Don't rat me out - I told you it was our secret!"
Rory handed her mother the paper bag. Lorelai shoved it in her purse, hoping Luke hadn't noticed.
"Please get my black leather coat?"
Rory retrieved the coat from the hall closet and handed it to Luke. He helped Lorelai into it.
"Luke, I want her home by 1AM, the latest. Don't keep her out past curfew. And Lorelai, I want you to call me if you'll be late. You have a cell phone, use it!"
"Yes, mommy."
"Have fun, you two. But not too much fun.if you know what I mean."
Lorelai kissed Rory on the cheek. "Good night smartass."
Luke wanted Rory to know that her mom was in safe hands. "Don't worry. I'll get her home safe. Good night."
Rory watched the lovebirds leave the house and turned off the CD player, she really hated that song. She hoped this was the last first date that her mom would be going on for a long, long time.
Author: Gluglug
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Third Season, post-Haunted Leg
Rating: PG (for language)
Summary: What happens before the big date.
Disclaime Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman-Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing. =========================================================================
Lorelai went home and replayed the evening's details to an impatient Rory. She drew out the story as long as possible, in spite of the fact it was past her daughter's bedtime.
"And then Luke kissed me!"
Rory knew her mother was going to embarrass her with details, so she cut to the chase. " Any tongue?"
"Hello, personal! Well, Luke's kind of a shy kisser but with a little practice, he could probably win a contest. And besides, I've gotta have something to look forward to on our date!" She began to sing her favorite Bananarama song. "He used to be a shy boy, until I made him my boy, oh yeah"
Rory still felt embarrassed. "Do you think you and I are the only mother and daughter on this planet who have these conversations?"
"Probably, we're a freakshow. I wouldn't want it any other way."
"So, you're going on an actual date with Luke? What have you got planned?"
"I don't know - all I know is he's picking me up Saturday night at 8. I don't even know what to wear or where he's taking me. I wonder if he does." She panicked. "Wait a minute - I think I have to plan the date - I'm the one who did the asking! What if he shows up here and asks, so where are we going? And I say, I don't know, I thought you were planning this? And we just sit here all night arguing about where to go. He'll want to go to the Tofu Palace and I'll want Mickey D's!"
Rory saw the inevitable Lorelai Gilmore freak-out coming and hoped she could calm her down. "But if he's the one doing the picking you up at 8 thing, isn't it his job? I know Luke probably hasn't been on a date in a while, but he's not stupid. When you see him tomorrow at the diner, bat your eyes at him and ask, 'Hey where are we going on Saturday? Do I need to buy a new dress, one with plenty of cleavage?'"
It wasn't working. "That's right, I have to go to the diner tomorrow - and when I see him, what do I do? Do I kiss him? If he doesn't allow cell phones, he certainly won't look kindly on PDAs. I meant public displays of affection, not personal digital assistant. But if don't kiss him, will he be insulted? God, this is so complicated. I wonder if Luke's as freaked out as I am."
"I'll bet he's over the moon. He's probably smiling in his sleep. Mom, what does Luke look like when he smiles? I don't think I've ever had the privilege."
"Like Luke with a smile. Umm. how do I describe this? It's weird, but his face looks different - like he's lit up from within." She sighed.
Rory hadn't seen her mother this smitten since the morning of Sookie's wedding. "You've got it bad for him."
"I do. Rory, I think it's time to go to bed. Although I'm not sure I'll be getting much sleep."
Next morning, the Gilmore girls headed to Luke's Diner. Lorelai was dragging her feet.
"Mom, stop stalling. Don't tell me that your shoes have gained weight overnight. And I'm not going to Al's Pancake World, so don't even think about it!"
Lorelai spied Luke through the window. "Ohmygod! There he is. He's sooo cute! I can't face him."
"You sound just like Lane. Hey, just do what you always do - bug him for coffee, order a high cholesterol breakfast disguised as healthy food and then throw silverware at him when he refuses to play along with your shenanigans. Or will you need me to feed you lines, a la Cyrano?"
"Great Idea!"
"Mom, I'm not good with the coffee-as-sex metaphors. But I'll never make it to school on time if you keep stalling. Do you want me to go in there first and ask him if you should kiss him good morning? And who's planning your date? And should you name your twins Sid and Nancy?"
"The first two, not the last. We don't want to scare him off."
"Yeah, because it's not like you're a freak or anything. Wait for me, I'll be right back."
Rory entered the diner and walked up to the counter. Jess saw her and walked over.
Jess was his usual charming self. "Well, if it isn't Ayn Rand - To what do I owe the honor?"
"I'm not in the mood, Jess. Where's your uncle?"
"I'm right here. Jess, don't harass Rory, she's a good customer. Caesar needs your help in the kitchen." Jess made a face and walked away. "What can I get you, Rory?"
"Coffee, scrambled eggs with a side of hash browns."
"What about your mom? I don't see her."
"She's outside, she's um, kind of afraid to see you."
Luke tried to hide his worry from Rory. "She did tell you what happened last night, right?"
"Yup, and I'm really happy for you both. It's just that she's having a patented Lorelai Gilmore freakout. She's not sure how to act around you."
Luke smiled in relief. "Really? She's nervous?"
"So it IS true, you actually can smile!"
"Very funny. I do, when I have something to smile about. Can you tell me what she's freaking out about exactly? I have a diner to run, you know."
Rory suddenly felt stupid playing romantic mediator; these were grown adults, not sixth graders. "Sorry. Well, she's not sure if she should kiss you hello and she's wondering where you're going on your date. She wasn't even sure who's planning it - you or her."
Luke sighed. "She's nuts. Please go and tell her she doesn't have to kiss me hello. I'm not too fond of PDAs, especially when I'm working. As for the date, I'm planning it. Just tell her it's a surprise and to wear something pretty. And tell her that I'd like to see her, the morning's not the same without her.."
Rory noticed Luke's exasperated affection for her mom. "Aw, I see why she likes you. Be right back."
Rory exited the diner and walked up to Lorelai who was humming "Shy Boy."
"So, what took you so long? What did he say?"
"He really wants to see you. To answer your burning questions: He says he's not fond of PDAs in the diner and, yes, he's planning the date. It's a surprise but you should wear something pretty."
"A surprise? I don't like surprises. Please go back in there and..."
Rory ran out patience and grabbed her mom's elbow. "Mom, stop it! Get in there!"
"I'm going, I'm going."
They entered the diner and took an empty table by the window. Lorelai looked around for Luke.
"Where is he? Is he avoiding me?"
Rory rolled her eyes at her mother. Suddenly, Luke appeared at the table with Rory's breakfast.
"Here, Rory, coffee, scrambled eggs and hash browns." He looked at Lorelai. "What can I get you?"
Lorelai avoided his gaze. "An egg white omelet with spinach..and a Sanka."
"Coffee and French toast, got it."
Lorelai looked up at him with deadpan expression. "No, I'm serious. That omelet you made me yesterday, I really liked it and I must have another."
Luke half hoped she was serious - maybe he was getting through to her, in more ways than one. "You really want the omelet? But you're joking about the Sanka."
"I lied about the Sanka, but I want the omelet. She paused. "Only take the egg, keep the yolk, lose the spinach and add some toast. Make it French."
Luke sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true. Like I said, coffee and French toast, coming up...um Lorelai?"
She looked up and met his eyes, smiling sweetly. "Yes?"
Luke returned her smile. "It's nice to see you this morning." He headed to the kitchen.
Rory witnessed the exchange while she quickly ate her breakfast. "See? You had nothing to fear and that omelet/Sanka thing was pretty good. You nearly had him! Hey, I'm about finished, so I'm gonna catch the bus to school. You'll be ok without me?"
Lorelai looked at her wistfully. "I'll never be ok without my darling daughter...Have a good day!"
A few minutes later, Luke returned with her breakfast. "Here you are - French toast and coffee."
"Thanks. Luke, I didn't mean to yank your chain before with my order."
"Liar!"
Lorelai cut her toast. "So, I can still tease you and be my usual lovely slash annoying self?"
"Don't feel like you have to act differently around me just because we're, you know, dating. Hey, didn't you feel kind of stupid loitering outside and have Rory act as a go between?"
Lorelai felt embarrassed. "Yeah, I don't know what got into me." She paused. "So, can you give me a hint where we're going tomorrow night?"
"No, it's a surprise and don't pester me into revealing any secrets."
"But you said you don't want me to change and pestering is what I do best!"
"Me and my big mouth - ok, here's something, I'll feed you. And, don't worry I'm not taking you to the tofu palace. I'm taking you someplace nice, so wear something pretty."
"But I don't know what you think is pretty, for all I know, you'll want me to dress all in flannel!"
Luke pictured Lorelai in his apartment wearing nothing but one of his flannel shirts. "OK, here's a reference point - I liked the "Mimi" dress. The one you wore the night we made up? It was dark with roses on it and I thought you looked really pretty in it."
Lorelai blushed. "Thank you. The "Mimi" dress- that helps. Hey, are you sure you don't want to date her instead?"
"You're funny. Now eat your food before it gets cold."
"Yes, dear!"
Later at work, Lorelai relayed the recent events to Sookie in the kitchen. Sookie was so excited she was jumping up and down.
"Oh honey, I'm so happy for you! You and Luke, it's about time! Are you excited?"
"I'm terrified! I mean, I totally freaked out this morning just because I didn't know what to say to him. I mean, once Luke and I were doing our usual diner bit, I felt much better. He has a way of calming me down."
"And that's why you're perfect for each other! You're hyper, he's not. He'll bring you into balance. That's what Jackson does for me." She noticed Lorelai's sober expression. "What's wrong?"
"Everyone keeps saying how perfect we are, but what if we're not? I just feel like everyone, including Luke and myself, has such high expectations for the date that I won't be able to enjoy it. And that's exactly what I don't want. I want to enjoy it because I'm gonna ruin it if I don't. Am I making sense?"
"I understand. I felt that way when Jackson and I started dating. But you just have to stop thinking about the future and just enjoy the moment. Because you're gonna want to remember it. And believe me, if you start to have a panic attack or something - bring a paper bag to breathe into."
"A paper bag, huh?"
"Uh-huh, it works wonders. So what are you gonna wear, do we need to do some shopping?"
"Like I need an excuse to shop? Hey, do you know that dress - dark, flowy chiffon with the flowers? He likes that. But I don't want to wear that, I want him to see me in something new. I want to take his breath away, so he'll need the paper bag..."
"Let's go to the mall in Hartford. Do you want to bring Rory?"
"I'll ask her when she gets home."
It was Saturday night, a bit before 8. Lorelai was in her bedroom, in a slip, the entire contents of the closet on the floor. She was freaking out.
Rory knocked on the door. "Mom, you ok in there? Luke'll be here soon and.."
Lorelai yelled, "Gee, thanks for the reminder! In fifteen minutes you and he will have to rescue me from pile of silk, leather and chiffon and resuscitate me. Although I would prefer if he gave me the mouth to mouth, no offense!"
Rory entered the room and took in the mess. "None taken. Mom calm down! Geez, you're just like Paris before her date with Jamie. What happened to the red wrap dress you bought today?"
"I put it on and I realized that none of my shoes go. I don't own any red shoes. Hello! If I were the girl in the Bowie song, I would, but I don't!"
"You don't need dyed to match shoes - you're not a bridesmaid. Just wear your black high heeled mary janes. Those are great shoes and go with everything."
"Ah Rory, what would I do without you? I'll find the dress in the pile and you look for my shoes."
Fifteen minutes later, Lorelai was dressed. Rory put the finishing touches on her mother's hair and make-up.
"Do I look appropriately slutty?"
"Mom, you look gorgeous. Luke's a lucky man."
"Thanks, sweetie."
The doorbell rang. "Rory, go downstairs and make Uncle Luke feel at home, just like Auntie Mame taught you."
Rory came downstairs, opened the door and saw Luke standing outside. He was clean shaven, wearing a black suit with a dark red shirt, no tie and black shoes. Without his usual uniform, it was a bit jarring for Rory to see him dressed up.
"I'm sorry sir, but I think you have the wrong house."
Luke played along. "I'm Luke Danes - I have a date with your mother."
"Oh! Nice to meet you! Come in."
Luke entered the house and followed Rory into the living room.
"You DID know it was me, right Rory?"
"Well, you look like Luke, but something's off. Like, you're his GQ twin."
Luke was in a playful mood. "I'll let you in on a little secret, don't tell your mother, ok? The real Luke is locked up in the storeroom. I shoved the baseball cap in his mouth and tied him to a chair with a flannel shirt. I'm really his doppelganger!"
Rory laughed nervously. "You're scaring me - I don't think you should date my mother!"
"I'm kidding....I just wanted to look nice. I mean, I asked your mom to look pretty for me, it's the least I could do. But I drew the line at a tie. I hate ties." He suddenly felt nervous. "Do I look ok without a tie?"
"Like I said, you look really GQ. That's a complement."
"Thanks."
"Let me see what's keeping Mom."
Rory went upstairs and saw Lorelai sitting in her room staring at herself in the vanity.
"Luke's here, he looks really nice, I almost didn't recognize him. Ready for your big entrance?"
"I'm just nervous. Hand me my purse, will you? Oh crap, I need a paper bag."
"For what?"
"In case I hyperventilate."
"We have some in the kitchen. I'll get one."
"I'm ready now. Do you have the CD cued up? I'll come down after the first verse."
Rory came downstairs again and turned on the CD player in the living room. "Kiss me" by Sixpence None the Richer plays.
Luke heard the gooey sounding pop music. "What's going on?"
"Have you ever seen 'She's All That?'"
"She's all what?"
"It's a Freddie Prinze, Jr. movie. We're mocking the scene where the geeky/pretty girl comes down the stairs and her hunky date falls in love with her. Just play along, ok?"
Luke rolled his eyes. "I'm assuming the role of the geeky/pretty girl, right? Rory, you and your mom are freaks."
Rory smiled. "We know." She shouted upstairs. "Mom, it's your cue!"
Lorelai came downstairs in her red dress with a doe-eyed expression on her face. "Hey, I can give that Rachel Leigh Cook a run for her money, huh? And I'll bet I make a much better Josie than she could! "
Luke gazed at her as she reached the bottom step. "I have no clue, as usual, what you're babbling about Lorelai, but you look beautiful!"
Lorelai smiled at Luke, taking notice how handsome he looked. She realized he was wearing the suit she had picked out for him at Bloomingdale's last year. "Thanks, Freddie. So do you. Nice suit. Now, what did you do with the real Luke, you evil doppelganger?"
Rory decided to blow Luke's cover. "I think he's tied up in the storeroom."
Luke laughed. "Don't rat me out - I told you it was our secret!"
Rory handed her mother the paper bag. Lorelai shoved it in her purse, hoping Luke hadn't noticed.
"Please get my black leather coat?"
Rory retrieved the coat from the hall closet and handed it to Luke. He helped Lorelai into it.
"Luke, I want her home by 1AM, the latest. Don't keep her out past curfew. And Lorelai, I want you to call me if you'll be late. You have a cell phone, use it!"
"Yes, mommy."
"Have fun, you two. But not too much fun.if you know what I mean."
Lorelai kissed Rory on the cheek. "Good night smartass."
Luke wanted Rory to know that her mom was in safe hands. "Don't worry. I'll get her home safe. Good night."
Rory watched the lovebirds leave the house and turned off the CD player, she really hated that song. She hoped this was the last first date that her mom would be going on for a long, long time.