Disclaimer: I do not know Todd Blackburn, Matt Eversmann, or Black Hawk Down. I'm using 'Black Hawk Down: A Story of Modern War' by Mark Bowden and any details I remember from the movie. All details concerning the battle, dates, times, places, etc. are the same. None of that has been changed. I do own this fan fic idea, Danielle Ashton, and Sarah Thomas.
Author's Note: I'm back again! Aren't you all happy? I'm sorry for the extremely long wait. Was working on my site. Then, I had no inspiration to write with. School is starting up in three days. Anyways, this chapter is a bit...different then the others. It's mostly concerned around Matt with some Sarah and Todd. I didn't have my book with me, so if any details are off I am super sorry and I will be fixing them as soon as I find my book. Thanks to AngelBloom who pointed out two things that need to be fixed. I will as soon as I get a chance. Oh yeah! Matt, Todd, and Sarah are all friends so they don't use their ranks in front of their names, just to clear that up because I know AngelBloom mentioned that. That's the reason they always call each other Matt, Todd, or Sarah instead of Private First Class Todd Blackburn, etc. Also, Matt goes a bit psycho in this chapter, so yea...it scared my friend, so I have no idea what everyone's reaction is going to be. Well, onto the long awaited chapter.
Italics is for what they are thinking. Either Todd, Sarah, or Matt depending on the point in the story.
Bold always stands for what Todd is writing since he still can't talk. Poor poor Todd.
Matt Eversmann walked out of the nurses' homes and stood outside, letting the breeze whip around him. He turned to where the fight was going on and saw a few flashes. He sighed before shaking his head and returning to the hangar to see that barely anyone was there.
They must be all out helping.
He walked towards his sleeping area and plopped onto his bed. He stared at the ceiling, willing himself not to cry, but in the end he failed. Tears streamed down his face in silence as the scenery around him became blurred. Thoughts of guilt surfaced over what he could have done to stop this from happened. He blamed himself for the choices he made and for the lives he thought he could have saved.
Everyone was counting on me. The first time I lead a chalk and everything goes wrong. It's all the fuckin' headphones fault! If I had only taken them off then none of this would have happened. Or, if I had gotten a hold of Todd before he fell. Then, nothing would have gone wrong and the mission would have gone smoothly. It's all my fault! I could have reached him. Instead, I just stared at him as he fell.
His self-loathing continued on with his tears still falling to the ground for about an hour before he fell asleep. When he woke up, there were more people in the hangar. He stood up and began to walk aimlessly around, hoping to hear what happened. In the end, he ended up at the hospital, helping the nurses. Sarah was also there. From her, he learned what had happened that day.
"The troops were returned to the United Nations' base a couple of hours ago. There are still a few out there; some dead and one alive."
"Oh..."
Sarah and Matt turned to see that they had another soldier to help. He had a bullet wound in his right arm and a giant gash across his stomach. Sarah worked on the gash, while Matt worked on the bullet wound.
"How's Blackburn doing?" Matt asked while rummaging around for some bandages.
"Fine," Sarah replied,, cleaning up some of the blood off of the soldier's stomach. "At least, to my knowledge he is. I haven't been able to check up on him today."
"Oh...I hope he's all right."
Sarah turned to Matt, hearing the self-loathing in his voice. He looked at her and she placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"It's not your fault. Don't blame yourself."
Sarah then went back to helping the soldier, while Matt stood up numbly and left. When she was done, she looked up and the soldier just smiled knowingly. Sarah quirked an eyebrow and the soldier left, chuckling to himself.
When Matt left the room where Sarah was, he leaned against the wall and slid down it. He pulled his knees to him and placed his head in his hands.
This is so much harder to deal with than I thought. How am I ever going to get through this with my sanity still intact.
He stayed like that for a couple of minutes, watching through his hands as doctors and nurses ran through the hallways to help another injured soldier. After doing some 'people watching', he got up and walked down the crowded hallway to Blackburn's room. He stepped in the room and smiled as Todd smiled at him; well, as much as a smile he could get. Matt walked over to his bedside and sat in a chair, handing Todd a notepad and pen.
"So, how you doing Private?"
Fine, and you Sergeant?
"A bit stressed, but other than that... I'm fine."
Todd nodded and looked at the ceiling for a bit before scribbling something down. He and Matt were friends and there was something bugging him. It was time to bring it up.
You like her.
Matt looked at the statement and then at Todd.
"Sarah? No... Of course not..."
Todd smiled again and wrote down some more.
You do. You instantly thought I was talking about her.
Matt's cheeks were on fire and he looked anywhere but at Todd. He liked the kid and considered him a friend.
"Yea, I do. But why do you care?"
She likes me, but I don't feel the same way about her.
Matt looked at Todd, his eyes filled with anger.
"You! You were the one who hurt you! How dare you?!"
Matt, please listen. I want you to help her. I think there is something wrong with her...
When Todd handed Matt the notepad to read, he barely glanced at it before throwing it across the room.
"Something wrong with her?! Of course not! She's as fucking dandy as a flower." Matt screamed at Todd, not caring who could hear.
Todd looked around, trying to find something to calm Matt down. This was definitely not going in the right direction.
He's going to kill me! Fuck! I thought that was actually going to live to see Danielle and my family again, but I guess I was wrong.
Todd looked at the enraged Matt, his eyes filled with terror. He was still going on about how he had hurt Sarah.
I never meant to hurt her. But how can I tell him that? He'll never believe me because he loves her too much. This is horrible... Crap!
Matt had just thrown some instrument across the room again, and this one shattered. He kept pounding his fist into his hand and glaring at Todd.
"Do you have any idea what the hell she went through!?! Do you even fucking care, Todd?! You probably don't. You don't care about anyone else but yourself, you piece of shit. If it weren't the fact that we are in a damn hospital, I would kill you right here, right now. You bastard! She cried over you, she loved you, and you just push her aside like a slut. She doesn't deserve you, she could do so much better and you don't even care. She's better than both of us combined. She's beautiful, intelligent, calm, caring. More than any guy could ever ask for. Why'd she ever like an old faggot like me? I'm an ugly, horrible, murdering bastard with no hope to have a life. Why'd she ever want to be with a guy like me?"
Matt collapsed back into the chair, his head back in his hands. He cried, cried even more than last night. He hated his life right now. From his view, there was no point to it.
Todd hurt Sarah. Sarah hates me. I fucked up my job out in the marketplace. My chalk will probably never trust me again. What the fuck am I going to do?
Todd placed a hand on Matt's knee, who shot up and looked at Todd. His eyes were blood-shot and tear streaks were down his face. Matt took Todd's hand and Todd squeezed it gently, showing he knew what he meant.
"Thanks Todd for understanding. I'm sorry about blowing up. It wasn't your fault. I'm just so stressed out right now. What am I going to do? I've dug myself a mighty nice grave. What do you think I should do?"
He looked up at Todd, who was pointing at the notepad across the room. Matt smiled apologetically and got it and the pen for him. Todd took the pen and wrote down something.
Tell her.
Matt rolled his eyes.
I'm serious. Like actually talk to her without hitting on her.
Matt looked at Todd offended, jokingly.
No flowers. No candy. No flirting. Nothing.
"Easier said than done, my friend."
Who said it was going to be easy?
Matt was still laughing when the door opened and Sarah was standing there, a smile on her face. Matt stared at her as she walked across the room, having noticed the notepad. He finally got out of his trance and grabbed the notepad just before her fingertips touched it. She quirked an eyebrow at him, but then just shrugged it off. Sarah then turned to Todd.
"So, how are you feeling Todd?"
Todd gave a thumbs up and Sarah nodded. Sarah had gotten use to dropping his rank and any formalities from Todd since they had become close friends. She began to check his heart rate, blood pressure, and a few other things. When she was done, she smiled at Todd.
"Well, everything's fine here. I have some good news for you Todd."
His eyes widen in anticipation.
Perhaps I'm able to walk around or get this damned tube out of my throat.
"We are going to be flying you into the States to Northwest Medical Center in Margate, Florida."
Oh boy! I get to go to another boring hospital filled with creepy people who keep prodding at my neck and back. That's all fun and games!
Sarah and Matt laughed as Todd rolled his eyes. Sarah was clutching her side from laughing so hard and Matt was holding onto the sides of his chair, trying hard not to fall out. Todd just began to glare at the two of them. When they finally stopped, Sarah began to talk again.
"Also, I got in contact with Danielle..."
Todd's eyes were wide again and he was smiling. Sarah grinned and continued.
"And she said that she hates your guts and never wants to speak to you again."
Todd's eyes got, if possible, even wider and tears were threatening to fall from them. Sarah laughed again and Todd instantly glared at her.
"No... I was just kidding. She said that she'd be waiting at the airport for you. You'll be flying out tomorrow morning."
A smile returned to Todd's face and he looked at Matt, who was in deep thought again. Todd attempted to quirk an eyebrow, but failed miserably; causing Sarah to crack up yet again.
Is she all right? What drugs did they give her?
Matt looked up at Sarah, who was laughing for the third time that day. It was unusual to see her so happy and he was beginning to worry about her sanity.
"Are you feeling fine today Sarah?" he asked cautiously, not knowing what to expect as an answer.
"Yes, of course Matt," she responded, still giggling a bit. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason... No reason at all."
Sarah just shrugged.
"Well, I have to go check up on some more patients. I'll be in later Todd. Bye Matt."
Both guys waved goodbye to her and when the door was shut, Matt took out the notepad.
"Well Todd, that was extremely close."
He handed the notepad back after flipping to a new page. He got up and picked the pen up from the floor.
I agree. You want to come back to the States with me?
Matt looked at Todd as if he was on drugs.
"I don't know if I can."
Well, you never know until you ask. Sarah is going to come probably.
Matt laughed at that.
Maybe I should go back. Take a short leave. Everyone needs a vacation sometimes. Maybe they'll let me leave for about a week or two. That'd be nice. To go to Florida. Get a tan. Have some fun. Not a bad idea.
"I'll check to see if I can. A vacation would be nice."
He leaned back in his chair and placed his hands behind his head. Todd smiled and scribbled down some more.
You can stay with me and Danielle. If you want.
"Thanks Todd. That'd be nice. So, Danielle is going to be at the airport, huh? How do you think she's going to react seeing you with a tube down your throat and being stuck on a bed?"
She will flip. Sarah said she was already panicked over the phone. I can just imagine her when she sees me. "Todd! Oh my God! You are injured! Oh my! I told you not to go!" I just pray she won't be too dramatic about it in the airport and wait until we are somewhere private.
Matt laughed again. Today was turning out to be quite a comedy. With Sarah cracking up and Todd being as sarcastic as possible. He wasn't help much either since he was one minute screaming and cursing off everything in sight and then bursting out into tears. Matt laughed even harder at this and couldn't save himself from falling out of his chair. Todd just stared at Matt as if he was losing his mind. When Matt finally got his laughed under control, he got back into his chair and read what Todd wrote.
You all right? First Sarah and now you. Is there some sort of virus going around?
"No. We are just a bit edgy since the whole incident. What better way to get rid of the stress then by laughing?"
Perhaps not going insane?
"But what would be the fun in that?"
You scare me sometimes.
"Join the club."
Todd smiled and rolled his eyes. Another nurse came in quickly with a needle in his hand. Matt saw her and looked at Todd confused.
To put me to sleep. Wonder what they are going to do to me now... Well, I guess I'll see you tomorrow... Hopefully.
"Yea. Tomorrow."
Matt picked up the notepad and pen, pocketing both objects. He waved goodbye to Todd as the nurse injected the anesthetic into his arm. When turned to close the door, the last thing he saw, before being lead to a meeting, was Todd's eyes closing peacefully.
Author's Note: So, what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Flames, as always, are welcomed since Mario recently destroyed my lighter. If you flame, at least write something to help me fix the story, even if it is to kill myself and to give up writing. Yea... So please now review. Thanks as always to my beta reader, Susan!