Ed dipped his paintbrush into the bucket and prepared to draw an X on the ground, but just then a mischievous thought struck him. He glanced over at Double-D, who stood peering nervously at the huge rocks piled up nearby. Should he? It wasn't very nice…but, well, it was just too good to pass up. He laughed to himself as he finished his painting.
Still chuckling, he headed over to Edd. "I've marked the spot with an X, Double-D!" He motioned towards the boulders. "Let's move 'em out!"
"Ed, those rocks are quite large in mass and will require considerable force to…move…" Ed just couldn't help it – every time Edd started talking, he lost track of what he said and simply counted the number of unnecessarily large words he managed to slip in. He needed to be less conspicuous about it, though – Edd trailed off as he noticed his vacant look. Hmm, better say something.
"Right over on the X, Double-D!" He picked up a rock and thrust it upon Edd, who took it, of course, despite the fact that it must weigh twice as much as he did. Watching him struggle beneath its weight, Ed felt a little twinge of guilt.
Was it starvation for attention or just plain insecurity that left Double-D so fearful to disobey anyone who cared to tell him what to do? Probably both – Edd clung to rules and orders like a lifeline, a reassuring blanket that shielded his fragile ego from the countless forces set against it. Unfortunately for him, it really made him a natural target.
Ah well, at least Double-D could always count on his friends to pay him plenty of attention, albeit not always of the desirable sort. And speaking of friends…Ed ran over to the port-a-potty to check on Eddy. "Ready or not, here I come!"
"No way, Ed!" Eddy didn't sound too happy about his new duds. Ed couldn't wait all day, though, so he tore away the port-a-potty walls.
Even though he'd known what to expect, it was all he could do not to fall down in hysterics. Part clown, part pro-wrestler, all schmuck, Eddy's costume went a long way towards making up for all the ridiculous getups he'd subjected Ed to in the past.
"Why am I dressed like this?" Eddy glared at him, clearly not sharing his amusement.
"It's all part of the Big Plan!" Ed barely got that last bit out without dissolving into laughter. He looked away as a grin spread unstoppably across his face. To keep Eddy from noticing, he seized a nearby cement mixer and handed it to him. "Here Eddy, paint this like an Aztec temple!" Maybe it was the skull drawn on Eddy's face that had made him think of ancient tribes.
"Q?" Over in the distance, Edd was boggling in confusion. Ooh, Double-D just had to come see Eddy! Ed rushed over to bring him back, but before he could say anything, Edd asked, "Ed, where's the X?"
He just couldn't resist. "A, B, C, D, L, M, N, O, G!" He suppressed a giggle and tried to look concerned. "Don't you know your alphabet, Double-D?"
"But I don't understand! You said X marks the spot!" Gee, Double-D must really be distracted to be speaking so clearly for once. He could at least set the boulder down to discuss matters, but of course he didn't. Ed was almost tempted to take it from him…nah. He could use a little exercise.
Edd really did look to be on the verge of collapse, though. No sense in completely wearing him out so soon. "Boing! LUNCH BREAK!!" Ed ran over to a makeshift table. When his friends had joined him (he was somewhat relieved to see that Double-D did put down the rock this time), he hauled out the sandwiches he'd brought: a lovely gravy-and-sardine one for himself, and for his friends, two foul-smelling monstrosities he'd finally evicted from beneath his bed that morning. He didn't expect them to be eaten, but figured it'd be fun to see his friends' reaction.
As he chomped down on his sandwich, Ed was somewhat aghast to see Eddy take a bite of his own. He noticed Edd, too, was steeling himself to try a nibble. Even Ed had his limits when it came to disgusting sights. "BOING!" He knocked the sandwiches away before he lost his own lunch. He had a better use for those, anyway.
"Back to work!" He picked up Edd's boulder and shoved it back into his hands. Giving him a little push, he reminded him, "Right over on the X!" Eyes bulging and legs shaking, Edd staggered away, gasping out protests in a voice even squeakier than normal. Ed had to bite his lip to keep from laughing. He hated to admit it, but he could see why Eddy liked to mess with him so much – his reactions were just so darned funny. Loveable squirt.
Eddy stood glaring at him, even the spectacle of Double-D and the boulder failing to improve his spirits. Ed needed to do something fast or he'd lose him. "Come on, Eddy, we have to find rotten spaghetti noodles!" He was still unable to get the concept of spoiled food out of his head after watching his friends with those sandwiches.
Eddy crossed his arms and glowered at him, clearly intent on staying put. Well, how many times had he hauled Ed off against his will? Turnabout was only fair play. Picking Eddy up with his teeth, Ed carted him off towards the cul-de-sac in search of the other kids.
It took a while to find everyone, throughout which time Eddy kept up a ceaseless stream of grousing. Ed was about ready to give up in exasperation when he finally heard signs of life from over by the lane. He'd better find out who was there before he made his move, though. Ripping off a good-sized chunk of fence, he held it before himself as camouflage as he and Eddy approached.
Hmm, this could be a problem: all the kids were there, including Nazz. If Eddy spotted her he'd surely run off before she caught sight of him in that outfit. Ed had to come up with a way to keep him there – lucky thing he knew the magic word.
"Our suckers await," he whispered, peering over the top of his fence.
"Suckers?" Yep, that did it. "I thought we'd never get to this part! So how do we fleece 'em, Ed?"
Gee, good question! "Uh…" What was the plan? Better take a few moments to think it over. "We need Double-D for this part!" That oughta buy him time to come up with something, and besides, he really should check in to be sure those rocks hadn't gotten the best of Double-D by now, anyway.
He galloped off, but soon slowed in thought. There was always a chance the other kids would react violently to these little shenanigans, and what with all the rock-carrying, Double-D was probably in even worse shape than usual for running away. Fun was fun, but he didn't want his friends getting hurt.
He ran back to his house and dug out the biggest, most well-padded coat he could find. It wasn't much, but at least it'd offer a little protection. As he passed the kitchen he could smell a fresh batch of pancakes his mom must've just whipped up. The aroma was heavenly…well, what the heck, his friends were probably famished by now.
His newfound goodies in tow, he continued on to the construction site. There he found Edd still trudging shakily along, muttering to himself and lugging that rock. Ed shook his head. Knocking the rock from Double-D, he wrapped the coat around his shoulders and dragged him off to the lane. On the way back he noticed an old discarded fishbowl leaning against one of the half-built houses – hmm, a helmet probably wouldn't hurt. He scooped it up and plonked it down over Edd's head.
"Okay, now Double-D, it is very important that you give Eddy these pancakes!" They could at least enjoy a little real food before continuing.
"V-very well, Ed." Edd's voice sounded sorta spaceman-y from within that fishbowl, it was pretty neat! Ed would have to try that himself sometime. "Here you are, Eddy."
Eddy took the pancakes with an air of disgust. "Pancakes give me gas." Geez, did he ever stop complaining? Ed had initially planned only to embarrass him, but…well…maybe a little 'discomfort' was in order, after all.
"Now what, Ed?" Double-D was still looking a little banged up from the earlier elm tree incident – he'd taken more than enough for one day. Better get him out of there before things got ugly.
"X marks the spot, Double-D!" He pointed Edd in the direction of the construction site. "Off you go!"
"There is no X, Ed!" Still protesting, Edd nonetheless headed dutifully back towards the rocks and missing X's. Ed hoped he'd at least take that fishbowl off before he suffocated.
Now back to Eddy. It shouldn't be tough to turn the other kids against him, but first he'd need to get their attention. Putting on a suitably "Ed" disguise (he only wished he could see himself, he bet he made a great table), he told Eddy to wait for his signal, then "snuck" over.
"Ed!" His sister's shrill voice startled him into standing up, sending his mom's good teapot crashing to the ground. "Was that mom's teapot?"
Oh man, he was grounded for sure! Ed looked away and mumbled, "Maybe…"
"Ed, you're scaring me."
The feeling was certainly mutual! Well, at least she didn't seem ready to go tell on him quite yet. Now, if he could only figure out a good way to get everyone riled up…Just then he spotted Jimmy clutching a new stuffed bunny. Bingo.
He grabbed the bunny and ran for it. "Now, Eddy, now!" That oughta ensure everyone knew Eddy was there, if they didn't already.
Confused and irritable, Eddy watched him run past. He didn't even try to escape until it was too late. Glancing over his shoulder, Ed saw the kids close in on Eddy – even Kevin joined in, surely more for the excuse to rough Eddy up than out of any concern for Jimmy. Well, whatever worked!
Eddy didn't sound nearly so smug now, as his panicked yells rose up from the melee. Ed hoped he wouldn't get hurt too badly. Well, Eddy was pretty resilient when it came right down to it. He'd surely be fine, more or less.
Either way, though, Ed couldn't wait around to watch – he still had the best part of the day to prepare for! Trusting Eddy to get himself out and unwittingly lead the kids back to the construction site, Ed headed there himself to get ready for the grand finale.