Returning to the construction site, Ed was unsurprised to find that Edd had somehow picked his boulder back up and was still searching for that elusive X. It was amazing, really, that anyone could be so academically brilliant and yet so single-mindedly obedient at times. He shrugged, supposing he wouldn't be doing much better himself if he'd been raised mainly through sticky notes – did Double-D ever see his parents? It wasn't really something you wanted to ask about.
Well, it was clear that Double-D wasn't going to give up on his own – at least, not until he'd burst some major internal organ. Better let him off the hook. "Nice job, Double-D, it looks just like a Q!"
"Excuse me?" The look on Double-D's face was priceless; Ed wished he'd thought to bring a camera. "Ed, I think somewhere along the line you lost your train of thought! Your plans are irrational, muddled, and inconsequential!"
He felt his eyes glaze over as Double-D ranted. Well, at least he seemed to be back to his old excessively-wordy self! Ed reached into his pocket and pulled out a cookie, munching absently as he tried to pay attention.
Edd trailed off. "Is that a doggie treat?"
Snapping out of his daze, he looked down at the object in his hand. Egads, it was a doggie treat! Oh, man! Well, he hoped the neighbors' dog had enjoyed the oatmeal cookie he must've tossed to him that morning. Better not let Double-D see his distress, though, lest he take it as a cue to launch into the old 'dangers of over-taxing your digestive tract' lecture. Worse yet, he might try to give him a thorough medical workup – you could never fully trust a kid who kept surgical supplies in his room, no matter how good a friend he was.
Trying his best to keep from grimacing, Ed forced himself to swallow. To take his mind off the lingering beefy aftertaste, he'd definitely need a little more entertainment. "What's the rock for, Double-D?"
It was almost worth eating that dog biscuit, just to see Double-D so completely dumbfounded. The rock fell from his nerveless fingers – right onto his foot, and he yelped in pain.
And speaking of pains…just then Eddy staggered back to rejoin them. "My head!"
Ed squinted at Eddy. He looked a little woozy; did the kids really hurt him that badly? Concerned, Ed drew closer to check him over – but as soon as he came within reach, Eddy grabbed him. "Why'd you take the rabbit?" Ed gasped for air as Eddy's hands clenched around his throat. Huh, guess Eddy was okay, after all! "Give back Jimmy's Mr. Yum-Yum!"
"Mr. Yum-Yum?" His foot still pinned beneath the rock, Double-D looked utterly confused.
Ed finally managed to free himself from Eddy's rough handling, saved once more by his superior strength. Deprived of his primary target, Eddy whirled and grabbed the hapless Double-D instead. "You know I'm going to get you for this," he hissed. Edd cringed, clearly in no position to appreciate the humor of the situation – how often was one threatened by an angry clown?
Suddenly, the other kids came unwittingly to Edd's rescue. Sarah was in the lead. "Hey! Give Jimmy back his bunny!"
Jimmy clung to Sarah and whimpered. "I'm just a shell of a man without Mr. Yum-Yum!" Geeze, what did Sarah see in him, anyway?
The rest of the kids closed in on Eddy and Double-D. "Let's tickle them till they wet their pants!" Jonny grinned at his own suggestion.
For a brief moment, Ed considered letting the kids carry out their threat, but then he realized that he, too, would likely be subjected to whatever treatment they decided to mete out. Well, it was probably time for the grand finale, anyway.
As Double-D tried desperately to pacify the angry mob, Ed climbed to the top of a nearby dirt-mound. Striking a dramatic pose, he cried out, "Fools! Evil Tim has beckoned you all, for you all will pay with your brains!"
"Brains?!" Eddy's irate disappointment was predictable. "What're we gonna do with brains?" Ed grinned to himself as he caught Double-D shooting Eddy a distinctly condescending look.
Well, everyone was staring at him now; time for the fun to begin! Ed brought Jimmy's stuffed rabbit up to his face and sunk his teeth in. Ripping and pulling, he yanked the stuffing from poor Mr. Yum-Yum. The flying bits of cotton fluff provided him the perfect cover for his next action: face still buried in bunny "guts," he surreptitiously slipped his free hand into his pocket and pulled out the remnants of the two rotten sandwiches from earlier that day. The cross-breeze from atop the dirt-mound was sure to carry their stench long and far.
"Mr. Yum-Yum!!" Ed glanced up in time to watch Jimmy collapse in a dead faint.
Their differences forgotten, Eddy and Double-D stood side-by-side, as baffled as everyone else. "What's the heck's he doing?" Eddy asked.
"Embarrassing me to no end," Double-D replied. You'd really think he'd have a much higher tolerance for embarrassment by now. Ed had to stick his face back down in Mr. Yum-Yum as he felt another giggle coming on.
Behind his friends, the rest of the cul-de-sac watched in mystified horror. Rolf spoke up first. "Ed-boy has bitten the belly of a stuffed hand-cloth! Quickly! We must seek encouragement in the bosom of Bobo!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out…a giant clam? Now it was Ed's turn to stop and stare in bafflement.
Ed didn't seem to be the only one unsettled by this. "If you think I'm getting in that thing – " Nazz started, but Rolf was in no mood for argument.
"Your wait will doom us all!" Grabbing a startled Nazz, he shoved her along with the rest of the kids into the clam, then jumped in himself. Ed briefly tried to imagine an entire country full of Rolfs, but the thought was just too much to handle, even for someone who'd just "bitten the belly of a stuffed hand-cloth."
"Listen to it gurgle, Plank!" Well, Jonny seemed happy, at any rate.
Rolf wasted no more time. Slamming down the top of the clam so that only his legs stuck out, he, the clam, and the rest of the kids made a hasty, fishy exit.
Eddy and Double-D watched the clam rush off, dumbstruck. Finally, Double-D asked, "Was that a giant clam?"
His voice seemed to snap Eddy out of his spell. "Nice scam, they took off!" He glared up at Ed, fists clenched. "So where's the cash?" The phrase "one-track mind" was clearly coined with Eddy in mind.
"Cash?" From his vantage point on top of the dirt-mound, Ed could see finally see a few dark specks forming on the horizon. Those sandwiches must be doing their job – now, if he could just keep Eddy from stomping off too soon!
"AGH!!" Good, Eddy was clearly too mad to go anywhere for the moment. He glared up at Ed, but Ed just smiled blankly back (it hadn't been easy to master the art of blinking his eyes out of synch with one another, but he felt it really added to the whole "vacant" look). Eddy turned on Double-D once more. "It's YOUR fault!" His voice was so loud, Ed could feel it vibrate the air from all the way on top of the dirt-mound – poor Double-D was nearly knocked to the ground. "WHY did you have to encourage him?!!"
Better speak up before Eddy decided to do more than yell. He still needed just a little more time, though…hmm…Suddenly, he had it. "Aw shucks, my curse didn't work! I'm sorry guys, I did everything it said in the comic book!"
He knew he could count on Double-D. "Ed, curses are nothing more than myth and superstition!" Double-D could never resist the opportunity to pontificate on the folly of believing in the supernatural; Ed was only surprised he didn't have anything to say about comic books, too. "They're based only on one's own personal fears!" Well, of course – that was exactly what Ed was counting on.
Eddy glared at Edd as he spoke, fists clenched and white-knuckled. Both of them were distracted, though, when a large crow swooped down and landed on Double-D's head. Edd had clearly not recovered from lugging that rock around all morning, as even that small extra weight was enough to send him to the ground.
Ed beamed as more and more crows were lured in by the carrion-smell of the rotten sandwiches. Now this was a scam!
"Strange, the crows' migration pattern is nowhere near this location." Was it his imagination, or did Double-D actually sound a bit spooked? "It's as though they were summoned to gather here…" Gee, how quickly the scientific mindset can be abandoned in the face of unexplained phenomena!
Eddy cowered back as the crows flew in on all sides. "Man, I hate birds!"
Now, that was an understatement; Eddy "hated" birds in the same way that Double-D "hated" dodge-ball. Even now their usually fearless leader was starting to shake and twitch – he'd be curled up in a catatonic, whimpering ball on the ground in no time. Ohh, phobias could be such wonderful things.
Ed did a happy little dance of victory. "Evil Tim has beckoned them!" Hey, Evil Tim, Irritated Ed…same difference, right? As the birds swarmed in around him and his vision disappeared in a mass of flapping black wings, he could hear Eddy shrieking in panic. Ed grinned. There was really no such thing as "teaching Eddy a lesson," but at least Ed had gotten the upper hand for once. All in all, it had been a great afternoon.