Raw goes on the air and Eric Bischoff wastes no time in going out to the
ring.
"I have great news for all you fans of RAW! After relentless negotiating, I have signed a huge name exclusively to the RAW brand! Ladies and gentleman, I introduce to the man who is going to help me knock Smackdown out, I give you: Mr Harvey Whippleman!"
Former manager Harvey Whippleman comes out as the crowd just laughs. Bischoff is about to speak again but is interrupted as Stephanie McMahon walks out.
"Security, get her out of my arena, now!" cried Bischoff. Stephanie took the microphone from him and laughed.
"Remember Eric, security is now exclusive to Smackdown!" said Stepahnie.
"Good lord King, she's right, dammit!" yelled JR, waving his arms and indeed his whole body around in a frenzy.
"Besides, I booked this ring for my wedding, you see Harvey didn't agree to be here tonight to become a part of RAW, he is here for his and my wedding!" said Steph.
"That's right big nose," said Harvey to Eric.
Big Show came out and announced he was now a minister then married Stephanie and Whippleman.
"Well, me and my new husband are leaving and I hope you all tune in to Smackdown! to see the beginning of the McMahon-Whippleman era!" said Steph, before leaving.
Matt Hardy was lying asleep in the back. He was having a bad nightmare and was tossing and turning.
"Good luck, bro... good luck bro... good luck bro..." Jeff woke him up.
"Hey, wake up Matt" he said.
"Huh? Is it time for our match?" asked Matt.
"No, you don't have a match. It's time for you to wish me good luck."
"Good luck bro."
Jeff Hardy went out for a match against Test, which was really a guaranteed Jeff Hardy victory. However Jeff was stunned when Matt appeared at ringside with a big axe.
"Bro, don't attack Test with an axe," said Jeff.
"I'm not going to attack TEST with an axe," said Matt with an evil look on his face. Jeff jumped over the top rope and the barricade and ran through the crowd as the now deranged Matt Hardy chased him.
Bubba Ray wasn't coping well with the loss of his brother. He now only got by because of his undying belief that Spike Dudley was in fact D-Von and the Dudleyz were still together.
Rumours that Brock Lesnar had bought two ringside tickets for RAW were unfounded. He had been given them for free by officials desperate to make the arena look less empty.
HBK came out to do a promo for his big Summerslam match.
"Now I hope MY SON CAMERON is watching me right now. At Summerslam I intend to teach HHH a lesson, and MY SON CAMERON will see what a real man looks like. I will once again, one more time become the icon, the showstopper, and MY SON CAMERON will see that. I want everyone to know, and I want MY SON CAMERON to know that I won't be the man I once was. I don't want anyone, especially not MY SON CAMERON..." This continued for eight more minutes.
Bradshaw came out and said he had a serious drinking problem. There was no beer in the arena and he had spent all his money calling Farooq.
Y2J came out and said from now on he would be known as "Doink the Clown 2J". He was dressed in clown make-up and an outfit reminiscent of Doink. HHH laughed evilly and congratulated Bischoff on giving Jericho the right gimmick, then congratulated himself for coming up with the idea.
Shawn Stasiak came out and announced since his Planet Stasiak gimmick had been unsuccessful he was now going to become an American Badass, until Undertaker came out and made Shawn wet his pants. He decided to return to being 'Meat' instead.
Tony Schiavone sat at home watching old tapes of WCW and constantly pointing at the screen and telling his wife that this was the best Nitro ever. For each Nitro he put on. This continued until his wife left him. Tony didn't even notice, he just kept watching as tears formed in his eyes at the happy memories of WCW...
Howard Finkel came out and acted much more evil than was normal for him. He brutally murdered several fans which prompted a few boos from the rest of the crowd followed by an unflattering chant. However this was soon forgotten as Fink returned to his announcing duties and began acting nice again. During the break he held up a framed picture of The Rock and encouraged everyone in the arena to run and buy it. He also told them they were one of the best crowds the WWE had ever worked with, prompting huge cheers.
"Calm down man, we can work this out, just please don't do this..." said Jeff Hardy to his brother. They were standing on a bridge, looking down at the river, and Matt Hardy had most of Jeff's body in chains.
"I just have one thing to say... good luck bro," said Matt before throwing his brother in.
"I have great news for all you fans of RAW! After relentless negotiating, I have signed a huge name exclusively to the RAW brand! Ladies and gentleman, I introduce to the man who is going to help me knock Smackdown out, I give you: Mr Harvey Whippleman!"
Former manager Harvey Whippleman comes out as the crowd just laughs. Bischoff is about to speak again but is interrupted as Stephanie McMahon walks out.
"Security, get her out of my arena, now!" cried Bischoff. Stephanie took the microphone from him and laughed.
"Remember Eric, security is now exclusive to Smackdown!" said Stepahnie.
"Good lord King, she's right, dammit!" yelled JR, waving his arms and indeed his whole body around in a frenzy.
"Besides, I booked this ring for my wedding, you see Harvey didn't agree to be here tonight to become a part of RAW, he is here for his and my wedding!" said Steph.
"That's right big nose," said Harvey to Eric.
Big Show came out and announced he was now a minister then married Stephanie and Whippleman.
"Well, me and my new husband are leaving and I hope you all tune in to Smackdown! to see the beginning of the McMahon-Whippleman era!" said Steph, before leaving.
Matt Hardy was lying asleep in the back. He was having a bad nightmare and was tossing and turning.
"Good luck, bro... good luck bro... good luck bro..." Jeff woke him up.
"Hey, wake up Matt" he said.
"Huh? Is it time for our match?" asked Matt.
"No, you don't have a match. It's time for you to wish me good luck."
"Good luck bro."
Jeff Hardy went out for a match against Test, which was really a guaranteed Jeff Hardy victory. However Jeff was stunned when Matt appeared at ringside with a big axe.
"Bro, don't attack Test with an axe," said Jeff.
"I'm not going to attack TEST with an axe," said Matt with an evil look on his face. Jeff jumped over the top rope and the barricade and ran through the crowd as the now deranged Matt Hardy chased him.
Bubba Ray wasn't coping well with the loss of his brother. He now only got by because of his undying belief that Spike Dudley was in fact D-Von and the Dudleyz were still together.
Rumours that Brock Lesnar had bought two ringside tickets for RAW were unfounded. He had been given them for free by officials desperate to make the arena look less empty.
HBK came out to do a promo for his big Summerslam match.
"Now I hope MY SON CAMERON is watching me right now. At Summerslam I intend to teach HHH a lesson, and MY SON CAMERON will see what a real man looks like. I will once again, one more time become the icon, the showstopper, and MY SON CAMERON will see that. I want everyone to know, and I want MY SON CAMERON to know that I won't be the man I once was. I don't want anyone, especially not MY SON CAMERON..." This continued for eight more minutes.
Bradshaw came out and said he had a serious drinking problem. There was no beer in the arena and he had spent all his money calling Farooq.
Y2J came out and said from now on he would be known as "Doink the Clown 2J". He was dressed in clown make-up and an outfit reminiscent of Doink. HHH laughed evilly and congratulated Bischoff on giving Jericho the right gimmick, then congratulated himself for coming up with the idea.
Shawn Stasiak came out and announced since his Planet Stasiak gimmick had been unsuccessful he was now going to become an American Badass, until Undertaker came out and made Shawn wet his pants. He decided to return to being 'Meat' instead.
Tony Schiavone sat at home watching old tapes of WCW and constantly pointing at the screen and telling his wife that this was the best Nitro ever. For each Nitro he put on. This continued until his wife left him. Tony didn't even notice, he just kept watching as tears formed in his eyes at the happy memories of WCW...
Howard Finkel came out and acted much more evil than was normal for him. He brutally murdered several fans which prompted a few boos from the rest of the crowd followed by an unflattering chant. However this was soon forgotten as Fink returned to his announcing duties and began acting nice again. During the break he held up a framed picture of The Rock and encouraged everyone in the arena to run and buy it. He also told them they were one of the best crowds the WWE had ever worked with, prompting huge cheers.
"Calm down man, we can work this out, just please don't do this..." said Jeff Hardy to his brother. They were standing on a bridge, looking down at the river, and Matt Hardy had most of Jeff's body in chains.
"I just have one thing to say... good luck bro," said Matt before throwing his brother in.