Candy Fights, Stripes and Kisses
Part:
1/1
Rating: PG
Couples: J/H, D/E
Spoilers: Based in general s.5. I haven't seen any of the episodes as I live in the U.K, so I'm going on transcripts & spoilers.
Feedback: Read & Review…'cos you can't get enough of that!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or the show. I'm mainly writing this for entertainment.
A/N This is my first "That '70s Show" fic and also my first standalone fic, as I usually write for "Angel" and "Buffy". So I'd love to hear what you people think of this…thus don't forget to review!
~*~*~
In the basement
~*~*~
The gang, apart from Jackie, were hanging out in Eric's basement as per usual after school.
" I can't believe my mom made me do this." Eric moaned.
Hyde was sitting in his chair flipping through a magazine and Kelso sat across from him on the other chair, licking a Popsicle. Eric sat in the middle of the couch, with Donna and Fez on both his sides, clad in a candy striper uniform.
The atrocious uniform caused many insulting remarks to be hurled at the scrawny boy/man.
" Hey Forman. The candy store called…they want their lollipop back." Kelso teased and began to laugh. Hyde leaned forward in his chair and slapped Kelso a high-five.
" Eric…the barber called. He wants his pole back." Fez, not wanting to feel left out, said. The guys continued to crack jokes and laugh at Eric's expense.
" Okay guys, so I have a crappy uniform and have to clean out old people's pee-pans…laugh all you want. But in the end I'll have the last laugh, because I'm going to be richer than all of you!" Eric responded, with his typical hand gestures.
" Forman, you're a volunteer. You don't get paid."
Eric looked at Hyde and contemplated his statement for a few seconds.
" Oh crap!"
" Yeah Eric, now you have to clean old granny butt for free." Kelso said with a big grin.
" Well…you know…in the end I'll at least get the satisfaction of helping those unfortunate people who cannot urinate in a toilet, unlike all of you. Beat that!" Eric retorted, as he pointed his finger at Kelso, waving his hand in front of Donna's face.
" Eric, you do realise that you are not touching me with those pee hands, right?" Donna said and grudgingly, with two fingers, pushing Eric's hand away from her face.
" Burn!" Kelso exclaimed happily.
Eric looked at his girlfriend, dumbfounded.
" What?"
" You're not gonna get any piece of me until those hands are sterilised, Mister. I do not wanna smell like Mrs. Smith's urine!"
" But Donna…" Eric protested.
" Eric!" Donna's tone caused Eric to sigh and reply with a 'fine'.
" I guess I know who wears the bell-bottoms between you two." Fez proclaimed with a chuckle to Kelso and Hyde, who snickered.
" Hey! I'm the one who wears the bell-bottoms. I'm the man in the couple." Eric declared.
Donna looked at Eric with a cross look.
" You're 'the man'?!" She bit out. Eric then quickly responded.
" Sorry honey…you're the man. You're always the man."
Donna gave her boyfriend a small smile and then reluctantly, with some enthusiasm, added…
" Okay…maybe you can touch me for a little while."
The two then gave each other a small kiss.
" Forman, you're so whipped." Hyde responded cynically, witnessing the couple's behavior.
" Yeah, like Jackie doesn't have you wrapped around her finger." Donna shot back with a snort. Fez and Kelso nodded in agreement and Eric gave Hyde a 'ha-ha'.
Hyde, clearly pissed off at being taunted by his friends, retorted:
" Get bent! If anyone has someone wrapped around their finger…it's me!"
Jackie then entered the basement, clapping her hands together with excitement.
" Ooh good Steven you're here. I need to go shop for some new shoes to wear with this wonderful new outfit I bought. (she twirled around) This skirt cost me a fortune and the shirt wasn't in the best color but I had to settle…but it makes me look really pretty, don't you think? So if we leave now and get to the mall…then we'll have about four hours to…" She began.
Hyde turned to look at the haughty faces on his friends. Donna had the 'I-told-you-so' look plastered over her face and Kelso and Eric were obviously suppressing laughs. Angered by their scoffs, Hyde gruffly interrupted Jackie.
" Jackie, shut your pie hole!"
Jackie looked confusedly at him and the others.
" What?"
" Give that big, fat cheerleader mouth of yours a break now and again. All you do is yap." Hyde retorted.
Jackie snorted, clearly insulted. She noticed that Steven didn't portray any signs of apologising and angrily crossed her arms across her chest.
" Excuse me?!"
" You heard me." Hyde replied strongly, trying to assert his role as the 'bell-bottoms wearer'. Jackie looked at her summer fling for an intense moment with shock and anger. Her face flushed with rage and embarrassment.
" Fine Steven, I'll give my mouth a rest. Away from here and you!" She snapped to Hyde and turned on her heel.
She then, before leaving the basement, turned once more to look at Hyde.
" And don't even think about touching any part of me anytime soon, Steven." With that Jackie stormed out of the basement.
The gang's gazes then turned to Hyde, who looked at the door through his sunglasses, concealing any expression.
The door then suddenly opened up again.
" Donna!" Jackie shouted and Donna quickly scrambled off the couch and followed Jackie, mumbling an apology.
The boys sat in the silence for a few minutes.
" Well…look at that. Jackie does wear the bell-bottoms." Fez responded.
He was met with a shot from a magazine and a cushion.
~*~*~
In the Forman's kitchen
~*~*~
" Oh this is going to be so much fun. Eric and I will be working together." Kitty exclaimed excitedly to her husband, bringing him a sandwich. Red Forman sat at the kitchen table, reading a newspaper and listening to his wife.
" Kitty, the boy already works with me. Now that he'll work with you…it'll make him think that he can live with us longer!" Red groaned.
" Red, I'm sure Eric will move out at…well…twenty?" Kitty said as she sat at the table.
" He had better…and he had better take the rest of those kids with him. I don't want Kelso, the foreign kid and the others staying with us till they're all twenty. Don't they have their own basements!" Red complained, as he turned the page of his newspaper.
" Well our basement's obviously special. They like it there. At least it's better than them all being on the street smoking or doing drugs. They have fun in the basement." Kitty explained.
" Well Kitty, that's what we should be asking ourselves. What kind of fun?"
~*~*~
The Basement- The Circle: Eric, Kelso, Fez and Hyde
~*~*~
Eric: " Why did I say yes to my mother when she asked my to be a candy striper? (imitates Kitty) 'Oh Eric honey, mommy would be so happy if you would help her at the hospital. She'll buy you new underwear!' Never fall for the underwear trick I tell you. A candy striper! What good can come of that? Could there be anything worse?"
[Turns to Fez]
Fez: " I think burning your girlfriend in front of your friends is worse, Eric. (turns to Hyde) That was not a good thing you did Hyde…she looked very sad and…(turns to Eric)did you say candy?"
[Turns to Hyde]
Hyde: " Jackie's not my girlfriend!"
[Turns to Kelso]
Kelso: " You know…I made Jackie really mad once. Stepped on her favorite unicorn or sumthin'. And you know what? She wouldn't let us do it for two weeks. TWO WEEKS!"
[Turns to Eric]
Eric (to Kelso): " So what did you do?"
[Turns to Kelso]
Kelso (with a huge grin): Pam Macy.
[Hyde socks Kelso arm]
Kelso: " I did apologise to her in the end okay…and then we did it. A lot."
[Hyde socks Kelso again]
Kelso: "Ow my eye!"
[Turns to Eric]
Eric: " Well obviously Hyde you wanna go and apologise to your girlfriend. I mean you do wanna have…(he pauses and looks at his left arm) Fez, what the hell! Get your tongue off my shirt!"
[Turns to Fez]
Fez's tongue is on Eric's sleeve.
[Turns to Hyde]
Hyde: " Forman…let me make this clear to you. Jackie is not my girlfriend! And do I want to apologise to her? Do I want to apologise to her?!?! (pauses) Yeah.
[Hyde leaves the circle]
Eric's voice: " Dammit Fez…get off my shirt!"
~*~*~
Donna's Kitchen
~*~*~
" Can you believe him? He burned me in front of everyone…he humiliated me!" Jackie moaned as she snacked off some candy on the kitchen table.
" Jackie, I think Hyde's a little insecure in being in a relationship."
" Donna, this is not about our relationship. This is about…my outfit." Jackie responded. Donna raised her eyebrow in surprise.
" I just bought this outfit…I mean look how cute this skirt is. And what did I get from Steven…nothing. The length of this skirt would make any guy be all over me. But from him…nothing. Not even a comment. All he did was diss me and tell me that I talk too much…which I don't. I don't talk too much do I Donna?" Jackie rambled. Donna looked at her and paused.
" No Jackie…you don't." She said with fake reassurance and rolled her eyes once Jackie turned away. The two then continued to feast on candy and chocolate, stuffing their faces.
" So what do I do now? Should I make up with him?" Jackie asked a moment later.
" I thought it was about the outfit?"
" Well some of it is. So should I…you know…talk to him? Let him apologise?"
" Why? He insulted you."
" Yeah…but he's cute. I can forgive him." Jackie responded with a smile.
" Jackie, do you really like Hyde?" Donna asked in shock.
" Well…sort of…yeah."
" Wow! Well, uh, I guess you should talk to him."
" Yeah, I will…maybe I'll make him beg. (she paused) So what do you think of my clothes?" Jackie asked excitedly.
" They're nice Jackie. You look nice."
" Nice?" Jackie prompted, a hint of annoyance.
" Go now. Go talk to Hyde now!" Donna quickly responded, not wanting to declare that Jackie or her butt was glorious again.
" Thanks Donna. And next time we talk…get low-fat candy. Those are going to go straight to my hips. Although obviously, you don't worry about that." Jackie responded pointing at the bowl of candy and then stood up to leave.
" What do you mean by that?" Donna asked, offended.
" Nothing. It's just that you're a lumberjack. You don't really care about your figure, clothes, y'know…woman stuff."
" What the hell, Jackie! I do care about woman stuff! I'm a woman!" Donna protested.
" Okay Donna, keep telling yourself that." Jackie replied sympathetically, patting Donna on the back before leaving.
" I shave my legs." Donna mumbled to herself, and then curiously looked at the number of calories on the candy wrapper.
~*~*~
Forman Kitchen
~*~*~
Hyde walked through the kitchen towards the driveway.
" Hey, Mrs. Forman." He greeted Eric's mother, before making his way to the back door.
" Steven, honey, where are you going? Dinner's almost ready." Kitty responded, taking a pan of lasagne out of the oven.
" I'll be back in a little while. I'm going to go see Jackie." Hyde responded.
" Ooh your girlfriend!" Kitty said with her usual laugh.
" She's not my…ahh screw it! Yes Mrs. Forman I'm going to go see my girlfriend, Jackie." Hyde replied with a sigh. Kitty looked at him with a big smile and gave him a kiss on his forehead.
" Well don't be out too late, honey. And remember always use a condom when…"
" Bye Mrs. Forman!" Hyde retorted quickly and hurried out of the kitchen.
~*~*~
The Basement
~*~*~
" You said that it was candy." Fez moped to Eric. He sat on the couch scraping his tongue.
" Fez, since when are clothes made of candy? Oh great…I have foreign spit on my uniform." Eric moaned. He took a little towel off the washing machine and dapped at a spot on his uniform.
" You know what? It's the 70s…I think clothes should be made of candy by now! Hey, maybe we should make candy clothes!" Kelso exclaimed excitedly from his seat.
" Kelso, who would be dumb enough to buy candy clothes?" Eric proclaimed.
" I want candy clothes." Fez declared eagerly. Eric rolled his eyes.
" Hey guys." Donna came back to the basement and sat on the couch with Fez.
" Hey. How's Jackie?" Eric asked joining her.
" She's good…obsessive over her outfit though."
" That outfit was hot. Did you see the length of that skirt?" Kelso asked the other boys with a dreamy expression on his face. Fez and Eric grinned in agreement.
" She looked very attractive and whorish." Fez replied.
" Yeah…I didn't realise that she had such nice…" Eric began and stopped, noticing his girlfriend's glare.
" Fabric. Nice fabric." Eric finished, but ended up receiving a whack from Donna.
" So, where's Hyde?" Donna asked.
" He went to talk to Jackie." Eric replied, caressing his arm.
" Jackie went to talk to him too. They probably didn't get far…they're probably just outside your house." Donna added.
The four sat silently for a few moments, thinking about what Donna said, before all of them scrambled for the door.
~*~*~
The Forman Driveway
~*~*~
Hyde came out of the Forman's kitchen at the same time that Jackie approached him.
" Steven." She said bitterly.
" Jackie. I-I wanna talk about what happened before." Hyde replied coolly.
" Do you want me to call Eric and the others first, so you can have another audience?"
" You know…I didn't do anything wrong." Hyde declared.
" Didn't do anything wrong? You burned me in front of our friends…you humiliated me! And you didn't even mention my new clothes!" Jackie cried.
" Jackie, I…those are a nice clothes." Hyde stopped mid-sentence to look Jackie up and down, with a raised eyebrow.
" Steven!" Jackie shrieked, getting Hyde's attention again.
" Oh yeah…Jackie I don't get why you're all worked up about it. I've told you to shut your pie hole before." Hyde said nonchalantly.
" But that was when we were together…and alone. It was different then. When you said it…you were sweeter." Jackie said, with a smile.
" Jackie! I'm not sweet." Hyde retorted.
" Yes you are." Jackie's smile got broader.
" No I'm not."
" Yes you are."
" Dammit Jackie, would you just let me apologise!" Hyde exclaimed.
" You want to apologise? To me?" Jackie asked surprised.
" I guess."
" Awww Steven." Jackie said as she leaned forward and kissed him passionately.
" Hey that was our first proper fight." Jackie realised, once the two had separated.
" And I'm quite sure more will follow." Hyde responded.
" So you think we'll be together for a while then, huh?" Jackie said with a grin.
" Shut your pie hole." Hyde replied with a similar smile and the two kissed again.
Jackie then realised that the others were watching the two from the kitchen door.
" Steven, what the hell is Eric wearing?!?"
~*~*~