Chapter One
The Authors
By Queen Tessandry de Sanyochisei
Professor McGonagall was rather pleased. The Start-of-Term Feast was going off without a single hitch so far and it looked like there wouldn't be any until the usual trouble started brewing up later in the year.
She went to get the First Years and lined them all in a row facing the students. There were some dozen students in the back that looked like they might be older but height could disguise age as well as any charm or potion. Though… they did look rather odd what with the muggle clothing and all.
She started calling off the First Years' names so that they would come up and get sorted.
When all had been sorted she looked up. The gaggle of taller children was still in line and staring at the enchanted ceiling.
A girl, perhaps fifteen, with ice blue hair blinks her mint green eyes and snaps out of the trance-like state that the whole group was in and exclaims in a hoarse whisper the rest of the group, "We're at Hogwarts! C'mon! Snap out of it! We're at Hogwarts!"
A small boy, looking like he could have been a first year, with strange purple hair in a ponytail and a quarterstaff in his hand said, "Okay! I'm out of here!"
He throws down his staff, which turns itself into a silver muggle surfboard. He jumps on to it and disappears.
In the few moments of silence following the boy's disappearance, the girl with ice blue hair mutters loudly, "Tsunamiya, you deserter."
Just a quickly as the boy had left, he reappeared, standing on his staff and in a soaking wet jumpsuit that muggles used while 'surfing' as they called it.
"Dimensional wipe out." the boy that the girl had called Tsunamiya coughs picking up his staff and looking around.
"Serves you right, Tsunamiya!" the girl with ice blue hair yells at Tsunamiya.
"Just because I don't wanna stick around and find out what happened doesn't mean anything, Wendracon!" Tsunamiya yells back, beginning to ring out the dark purple hair in his ponytail that contrasted weirdly with the light purple hair on the top of his head.
"You'd've seen us hung out to dry while you saved your own scrawny little neck!" yells Wendracon.
"Would you two stop!?!?" yells a woman with yellow gossamer wings and a flimsy pale yellow dress, floating a foot above the floor between the two fighters.
"Circe?" Wendracon asks the fairy-like woman.
"Tess?" Circe asks the girl.
"You do have wings!" Tess/Wendracon exclaims.
"You'd think I'd lie?" Circe asks.
"Excuse me for breaking up this cuddly, lovey-dovey reunion but I think we have a larger problem to deal with." interrupts a dark girl at the back of the group, gesturing to the rest of the hall.
Sure enough, all the teachers at the Head Table were standing and watching the group with curiosity. The students at their tables were craning their necks so as to get a better view of the newcomers. Snape, on the other hand, was advancing on the group with his wand drawn.
"Everyone here seems to have wands," thought Tsunamiya. He looks at his staff and waves at it. It shrinks down to a wand about eleven inches long.
Circe, along with the rest of the group, pulls out a piece of parchment and a pencil, and scribbles something down on it. Suddenly, eleven more wands appear in front of their respective writers. The group laid their wands on the floor to show that they mean no harm.
"Who are you?" Snape asks cautiously, standing at what he thought was a safe distance away from the intruders.
A girl about the same height as Wendracon/Tess but with wild black hair and bright, laughing green eyes steps forward.
"I'm Venus McGonagall, Snape. Your worst nightmare and Fifth year. Ya wanna try something?" Venus asks. Professor McGonagall nearly passes out after hearing the girl's last name.
The girl dashes forward to Professor McGonagall before anyone can stop her. "Oh no you don't, sis. You haven't heard their story yet and I'm sure that you'll want to." Venus exclaims, supporting the professor.
A wave of whispers passes through the student body. "Sister?", "McGonagall has a sister?" and other such murmurings were whispered to neighbors.
Another woman, looking about twenty, steps forward. She was very slim. Her blonde hair was held away from her blue eyes by a red headband. She looked a lot like Professor Lupin, who'd been the Defense teacher only two years ago.
"My name is Liz Electra. I'm nineteen years old and my specialty is Defense Against the Dark Arts," she says quietly but, like Snape or McGonagall, she could be heard throughout the entire Great Hall without exerting her voice.
A sweet-looking girl dressed in earthy colors with a rather peculiar bracelet steps forward as well. "My name is Tawny Miryton. I'm fourteen. Pleased to meet you."
Next, the fairy-woman Circe flits forward and curtsies mid-air. "I'm Circe Moss. I'm nineteen and I was best at Charms."
After Circe had retreated to the group, a woman steps forward gracefully and curtsies as well. "I'm Delia Phinium. I'm twenty-four and I like to work with plants." Delia says with a slight Irish accent, curtsies again and retreats.
A boy that looked about the same age as Tawny steps forward. "My name is Chase Phoenixcal. Fourteen. Writer." He steps back and resumes looking at the ceiling.
A dark, mysterious looking girl, younger than Chase, steps forward and, following the other women's example, curtsies. "Maia Rahmlal. Twelve. Enchanted."
Maia retreats as Tsunamiya steps forward. "Surfer Tsunamiya. Eleven. Dimensional traveler."
Jaws drop all over the hall as Surfer retreats to rejoin the group.
Wendracon/Tess steps forward. She tosses her blue hair back over her shoulder, revealing silver, star and fairy earrings and jangling her silver bangle bracelets. "I'm Tess, current head of Sarcastia's royal house of Wendracon. Tess is short for Tessandry."
Only then did everyone notice the silver circlet that stretched along her forehead. A few students that were standing bowed or curtsied only to be glared at by their peers.
The dark girl steps forward, almost visibly hyper, and stares Snape in the face. "Ray Fira. Author; age thirteen. Charmed, I'm sure." says as quickly as her motions. She steps back and nudges a strawberry-blonde haired girl next to her.
"Oh! 'Scuse me. Sorry. Chloe Frazier. Seventeen." Chloe says cheerfully. She turns to the redhead next to her. "C'mon, girl. Your turn."
"Alright." the redhead says grudgingly. "Ariety Blythe's the name's and potions' my game. Ya happy now that you know our names?"
"We still don't know why you're all here." Dumbledore says, coming up behind Snape.
Venus snorts and Tess lets out a derisive laugh.
"Your guess is as good as any of ours, Dumbledore." Ariety laughs. Dumbledore recoils slightly since he hadn't been expecting such familiarity from this tall red-haired stranger.
Venus McGonagall steps away from her supposed sister. "Would you like to hear what we do for fun? Fellow writers?" she asks, smiling impishly. She had figured out a connection between all the strangers.
"I don't know about the rest of you but I write stories for my website." Maia says quietly.
"'Teenage Empress of the Sarcastians'. Now where do I remember that?" Chloe asks herself.
"I write Fanfiction for the Harry Potter books." Tawny says, forgetting where she was for a moment. The whole group, save Venus, suddenly clasps their hands to their mouths.
Venus smirks slightly. "'Bout time they figured that out." she thought.
"I don't write for the Potter books…" Tess says, a smirk playing across her mouth.
The others look at her as though she'd said Voldemort's name.
"I write for Animorphs, Cardcaptors, Circle of Magic, Digimon, Dragonriders of Pern, and original stories among other things."
The other authors nearly pounce on the Empress but facefall instead.
"That's where I remember Teenage Empress of the Sarcastians! You're the authoress behind that great story!" Chloe exclaims, recovering nicely, "I wrote Harry Potter stories to post there too!"
"We all do. I wrote a self-insertion." Venus says slyly.
Meanwhile, the real Harry Potter, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley were gaping at the strangers. To them, fanfiction was a nonsense word (They're ones to talk! They speak Latin for half their spells!). That and writing it about Harry? That just didn't connect.
"What's this fanfiction?" Professor Flitwick asks.
"Fanfictions are stories based off of original stories written by the fans. In our world, Harry Potter is just a well thought up character in a book series. We write stories putting our own characters, or ourselves in Venus's case, in the storyline or putting the already made characters in different scenarios." Maia answers at length. Everyone, that would be including the authors and authoresses, were staring at Maia.
"What?" Maia exclaims, puzzled, "It's the truth! You know it is!"
Tess sighs. "Really Maia? Couldn't've guessed."
Venus clears her throat loudly. "Excuse me but since we can't seem to get out of here, as Surfer so kindly demonstrated for us earlier," Venus says, batting her eyes at the blushing Surfer, "we're going to be stuck here for a while. Where are we going to stay?"
The writers all nod in agreement.
"We could make our own tower?" Surfer suggests.
Dumbledore puts on a semi-appalled look as cheers rise from the group.
"Girls' dorm separate from the Boys'" Chloe adds in quickly. Tess, Maia and Tawny second the idea with cheers.
"Darn," Chase grumbles only to get a disapproving look from Surfer.
"And it won't be on the Marauder's Map." Ariety says loudly, glaring at the Gryffindor table where Harry, Ron, Fred and George sat.
Maia, giggling over the innocent act that the Weasley Twins were trying to pull, says, "Yeah. Sure. Right."
Tess snorts with laughter when she notices what the Twins were doing.
Circe, still fluttering a foot above the floor, clears her throat and asks, "This tower idea is all fine and good but where will we put it? We already have the House towers and the Cardinal towers."
The group of authors bows their heads and fell silent for a minute.
Surfer raises his head, first. "Float it?" he suggests with a grin.
Tess, who had been studying Dumbledore's expression, shoots a glaring look at Surfer as if to shoot that idea out of the air. [Authoress's note: The pun IS intended!]
The group fell silent again.
"It looks like we'll have to get sorted. I already know where I'm going. I hope you have a better idea." Ray pipes. The authors murmured assent to that but Ariety had a few things to say about that plan.
"I have three problems with that. One; how are you guys going to be able to follow anything that the teachers have to teach? Two; where do you think we'll be sleeping? Three; What about us that are too old to even be seventh years?" Ariety lists off the flaws, holding out another finger with each additional problem.
The authors thought hard for a moment then Surfer spoke up.
"Any of those problems we can fix with a few strokes of a pencil. We're authors! Remember all the author fics on Fanfiction.net? We can do anything. Watch." Surfer says and pulls out a piece of paper and a sharpened pencil.
He starts writing but reads it aloud as he writes; "My wetsuit turns into robes like those that the students are wearing but in my favorite color, lilac."
Over at the Gryffindor table, Harry shudders slightly. Lilac was an awful reminder of the Defense teacher that was here during his second year. Professor Lockhart had worn only three colors and the color that he had worn the most was lilac.
"I didn't think it possible for Tsunamiya to actually come up with a coherent plan. Could I borrow that? I killed my eraser and paper with the wand trick." Tess asks, pointing to the paper and pencil in his hands.
"Tut tut, Wendracon. Flattery will get you nowhere. Here." Surfer says, handing the paper and pencil to the now glaring Tess. She starts writing.
"'I vanish then reappear in robes of glacial blue'," she reads then jabs the pencil down onto the paper.
Tess does vanish from the platform, but only for a few seconds. When she reappears, her icy blue tee shirt and dark blue jeans were replaced by robes the color of glaciers.
In the next few moments, Circe had changed her yellow dress into turquoise robes, Tawny had changed her own clothes into robes of an earth brown, Venus was in emerald green robes, Ray reappeared in flaming orange robes, Chloe reemerged in pale yellow colored robes, Liz had changed her clothes into denim blue robes, Delia returned in robes of a green that had no right to be anywhere outside of spring while Chase returned in deepest green robes. Maia vanishes quickly and reappears in robes of a dark blue-purple the color of the evening sky that was mirrored on the ceiling.
Ariety stubbornly refuses to change into robes. "You guys can go with the crowd but I will not give up my jeans for some dress."
"Really?" Tess asks, smiling maliciously.
"Yes!" Ariety replies. Tess's grin broadens. Tess scribbles something down quickly on the scrap of paper, still grinning.
As Tess jabs the pencil point down on the scrap, Ariety disappears then quickly reappears in robes of toxic orange.
Ariety looks down at the robes in shock then stares at Tess, whose grin had now faded into a nervous smile.
"You are so dead." Ariety whispers menacingly. She was about to charge at Tess when Chloe put a placating hand on her shoulder.
"Ariety, you look good. Don't be mad. You would have stuck out like a sore thumb." Chloe says, trying to calm Ariety down.
"And I don't now!?!" Ariety yells and points at the students, whom all of which were dressed in black robes.
"That's the point. We're only going to be here for a while. This way, we don't mistake one of us for one of the students. That and you'll look great at the Halloween Feast." Chase says, trying vainly to keep his face straight. The rest of the authors also had a hard time keeping their laughter bottled up at the indirect tease, especially Tess.
"Fine! I'll wear this atrocity. Now, that was all a great display of… What do you want, now, Tess?" Ariety asks grudgingly. Tess looks excited, waving another scrap of paper wildly above her head.
"I got the sentence that'll change it so we blend in! I haven't put the period on the sentence yet so we won't change." Tess states and starts to read off the sentences that she'd written.
"First problem's sentence; 'Everyone, except Surfer, knows everything that the school has to teach until the year they're supposed to be in'…" Tess reads but is interrupted by Surfer's loud protest.
"Why don't I know anything!?!?" Surfer complains.
"Because you annoy me. You'll be a first year, Tsunamiya! Think, for a change, before you speak. I know it'll be hard but give it a try." Tess answers. "Going on, problem two is solved by us getting sorted like Ray said and problem three is solved if Circe, Delia, Liz and Ariety will agree to help teach their specialty subjects."
"I won't teach with him!" Ariety exclaims at the same time as Snape exclaims, "I won't teach with her!"
"Just go along with it Ariety," Chloe says calmly. "This way we have some place to stay while we figure out how to get back."
Ariety grudgingly agrees and subsides.
"Professor Dumbledore, do you agree with this?" Maia asks quietly.
"Well… it seems as though there's no choice short of turning you out. I do."
The authors start cheering. Tess places the period at the end of the sentence that she'd written to solve the knowledge problem.
"Well? Are we going to just stand around here and keep the tables waiting for food?" Tess asks loudly. Cheers rose from the tables since many hadn't eaten since either the food cart or breakfast.
"Miss Fira, your last name is first…" Professor McGonagall says, gesturing to the Sorting Hat that she hadn't had time to put away.
Ray practically leaps to the stool, picks up the Hat and sits down.
The Hat couldn't have covered more than an inch of her head when the Sorting Hat screams "SLYTHERIN!"
Ray walks, trying not to trip in her excitement, to the table on the far right, the cheers very sparse.
"Miss Frazier, your next…"
Chloe walks steadily to the Hat. She picks up the hat, sits on the stool and places the Hat on her head.
There was two seconds of silence then, "HUFFLEPUFF!"
The Hufflepuff table cheers as Chloe made her way towards the table second from the right.
Professor McGonagall clears her throat and swallows.
"Don' worry. Got'cha covered, sis!" Venus says with a mock salute and picks up the Hat and sits as she places it on her head.
"Hmm… Seems like a Gryffindor…" the Hat says in its little voice in Venus's ear.
"No! Ravenclaw!" Venus thought at the Hat.
"Oh no, my dear. Gryffindor suits you well," the Hat says in her ear.
"Oh come on! Ravenclaw! Hufflepuff! I'll even go with Slytherin if it'll keep me out of Gryffindor!" Venus thought desperately.
"Oh no. If ever there was a Gryffindor, you would be it." the Hat says and yells to the Hall, "GRYFFINDOR!"
Venus takes off the hat sullenly and made her way towards the cheering table on the far left, muttering darkly under her breath.
"Miss Miryton." Professor McGonagall calls.
Tawny places the Hat on her head, which, after ten seconds, cries out, "HUFFLEPUFF!"
"Mister Phoenixcal."
Chase puts on the Hat, which quickly calls out, "GRYFFINDOR!"
Chase takes off the hat quickly and goes off to sit next to Venus at the cheering Gryffindor table.
"Miss Rahmlal."
Maia walks up to the Hat cautiously. She looks at it curiously as if she wanted to see what made it tick before she places it on her head.
"RAVENCLAW!"
Maia takes off the hat, disliking the fact that she had to leave, and walks off to the table second from the left.
"Mister Tsunamiya."
Surfer quickly places the Hat on his head. Surfer sat on the stool for almost two minutes before the Hat cries out, "SLYTHERIN!"
Surfer walks off to the table on the far right to sit near Ray.
"Miss Wendragon."
"Of course my name is Tess Wendragon. I've just been saying my name wrong the whole time I've been here." Tess mutters as she places the hat on her head.
"Hmm… sarcastic but smart… I got it now…" the Hat says in Tess's ear, then to the Hall, it shouts, "RAVENCLAW!"
Tess places the Hat back on the stool and goes to sit at the Ravenclaw table, muttering, "Wonderful. I'm in the brain house." Tess made it a point to sit as far away from Cho Chang as was conceivably possible for an odd reason that no one cared to find out.
"Well, that was needless to say interesting. Mr. Filch, please get chairs for Miss Electra, Miss Moss, Miss Phinium, and Miss Blythe and place them at the Head Table please." Dumbledore asks politely and Filch goes off to get the chairs.
As the older women sit down at the Head Table, Ray and Surfer weren't having the best of times at the Slytherin Table.
"So… Surfer. You seem like you don't exactly get along with anyone in your 'group'." drawls Malfoy from beside Surfer. Surfer stiffens slightly.
"I get along fine with Chase. It's Wendracon that's a pain." Surfer answers stiffly, not looking at Malfoy.
"You'll be needing someone to show you around." Malfoy says smoothly. Surfer turns and looks at him.
"Draco Malfoy, your smooth talking will get you no where with me. I know your ways. Get away from me before I turn you into a white ferret so that no one can change you back." Surfer replies just as smoothly and turns back to his interrupted dinner.
While Malfoy tried his luck with Ray [Not happening, Draco!], Venus was laughing hysterically at Fred and George's `petty' efforts to antagonize the staff.
"You guys are much too blunt! Anyone could have seen that that was a trap!" Venus laughs. "Filch could have seen it for crying out loud!"
Up at the head table.
"So, er… Miss Moss? How good are you at Charms?" Professor Flitwick asks.
"Would you like a demonstration?" Circe asks mischievously in reply.
"If you wouldn't mind." Flitwick demurs.
"Fortum Severus Wingardium Leviosa." Circe whispers to the pumpkin juice jug in front of her.
The jug floats silently upward and goes behind the professors' backs until it reaches Snape's back. It tips slowly and starts pouring its contents down the back of Snape's robes.
Snape lets out a strangled cry when he realizes why his back was getting suspiciously damp.
Liz and Delia smirk appreciatively. Circe tries to keep her straight face as Ariety made gestures that would roughly translate as 'Snape was giving me a lecture. Thanks.'
The feast went on without much further interruption, save a few minor tricks of the pencil from the authors. At the end of the feast, Dumbledore rises from his seat to make the usual announcements.
"Just a few notices before you go to bed. The Forbidden Forest is, as the name denotes, forbidden to students, as well as the village of Hogsmeade to students below third year. No magic in the hallways as usual, and if the, self-termed, authors would oblige me, please meet me after breakfast tomorrow morning. Thank you and good night."
Dumbledore walks out of the Great Hall, closely followed by Circe, Ariety, Delia and Liz.
Taking Dumbledore's leaving as a signal, the students leave the Great Hall as well; first years and authors, except, of course, Venus, following the house prefects to their own common rooms.
Surfer was able to get a bed in the Slytherin, First Year, Boys' dormitory without using his pencil while most authors had to write themselves a bed.
Disclaimer and Authoress's Note: This is a fic that I wrote mainly for my friends on Potternews. Thank you all for letting me borrow these characters. Harry Potter and all original characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Ray Fira is property of Marie (rieb7@hotmail.com), Ariety Blythe and Chloe Frazier belong to Kel (Valentine715@aol.com), Venus McGonagall stars as herself (Her Author Page), Tawny Miryton belongs to Meg (FunnyGurl895@aol.com), Liz Electra belongs to Liz (Her Author Page), Circe Moss belongs to Circe (), Delia Phinium belongs to Pat (Trishd29@aol.com), Chase Phoenixcal belongs to Chase (Chase1312@aol.com), Maia Rahmlal belongs to Natalia (TOONatalia@aol.com), Surfer Tsunamiya belongs to my brother, Pory (His Author Page), and Tess Wendracon belongs to me! The Meeting of the Minds and more in chapter two. Tah-tah!
~Tes-sama