"Rock-n-Eighties"
Disclaimer add-on: I do not own the lyrics to "Mista Bone" by Great White but it IS published with permission of a credited writer, so don't even think about suing. (Thanks Audster!)
*******************
CENTRAL PARK
Scarlett and Lady Jaye went for their ritual jog through Central Park, which provided much more pleasant scenery than their previous PT sessions at The Pitt from their Joe days. "Shana, I gotta ask you something," Lady Jaye started to inquire.
"Yeah?" Scarlett replied as they continued on their trail.
"Why doesn't Duke move out here? I mean how the hell are you supposed to figure out if you two can actually work in the Real World if you're doing a long-distance relationship? It's just another strike against you!"
"No, Duke doesn't like the city," Scarlett explained. "It's too fast-paced for him. He wants a nice quiet life in St. Louis."
"Hmph! That man should KNOW how many guys throw themselves at you when he's not around! And not just ANY guys; hot eligible prospects and big shots most women can only fantasize about!"
"Oh yeah? And what about Flint?" Scarlett challenged her. "Does he know about all your not-so-secret admirers? You could open a flower shop with as many roses as you get sent to you!"
"Yes he does thank you very much," said Lady Jaye triumphantly. "I have ways of making sure he stumbles across the information. It makes him spit nails but hey, I got him to move to the city didn't I?" Scarlett stopped to catch her breath. "Hey are you okay?" Lady Jaye asked in concern. It wasn't like her to tire so easily. Scarlett nodded.
"I guess I'm still tired from last night's performance and I didn't sleep well. And this producer has us on the most fucked up schedule," Scarlett feigned explanation as she sat down on the park bench to recover her strength.
"You have to do something Shana, you can't keep up this routine," Lady Jaye cautioned her. "You've certainly dropped enough weight over this, which is about to get dangerously low by the way."
"This producer doesn't know what he's doing," Scarlett tried to change the subject, "Between the scheduling, and the casting - I mean come on, YOU should have been the lead and not that sorry excuse Alexis just so she can spend her show time in rehab!" Scarlett went on to rant about what she would change in the show.
"Well, the show's a big hit so I guess they're doing something right." Lady Jaye shrugged.
"Well it could be a bigger hit," said Scarlett, then started rambling about box office numbers. Lady Jaye was taken aback.
"Why don't you produce?" Lady Jaye suggested.
"Huh?"
"Well, only if you want the headaches. But you certainly have the vision and the entrepreneurial spirit for it. And you hate performing to the point that it makes you physically ill."
"Hmm," Scarlett pondered. "You really think so? Me?"
"Yes! Most of these guys are too chicken to try something new and innovative. But not you; you've never given a damn about the nay-sayers."
"Well that's true. So what are we doing tonight since Flint's out of town?" Scarlett got back up so they could continue their jog.
"You want to go to The Suite tonight? It's Eighties Night there tonight," Lady Jaye excitedly informed Scarlett.
"What kind of Eighties?" Scarlett asked.
"Hair bands!" said Lady Jaye jubilantly, "Rock-n-Eighties, as if there were any other kind of Eighties! And get this: They're even going to have cover bands playing the Eighties tunes and even dressing up just like the bands such as Warrant and the like. It's the latest thing in the club scene."
"Why fake bands? Because the REAL Warrant is too busy playing their sold out show at Madison Square Garden?" Scarlett asked in mockery.
"Hmm, whatever happened to them?" Lady Jaye pondered aloud.
"Please don't tell me that WE have to dress Eighties as well?" Scarlett asked with dread.
"Of course not! The clothes were bad enough the first time around!" Lady Jaye said disdainfully.
"This makes us old, doesn't it?" Scarlett commented.
"My, my, my, I'm once bitten, twice shy, baby," Lady Jaye sang out loud, trying to ignore Scarlett's statement.
*******************
AQUARIUS SUITE
As planned, Lady Jaye and Scarlett went to Aquarius Suite for "Rock-n- Eighties" night. Most of the celebrity guests were dressed the part in Eighties rock star gear and the girls enjoyed observing and laughing at them, and the cover bands were for the most part a hoot - though some were actually pretty good. Everyone relished in the nostalgia.
"More leather and lycra than you can shake a stick at! So who's all playing tonight?" Scarlett asked. Lady Jaye picked up a program guide to see the band list.
"Ooh, you're never going to believe this. Take a look at this here," said Lady Jaye apprehensively as she handed Scarlett the guide, pointing to the top of the page.
"DeCobray Public Relations presents Rock-n-Eighties," Scarlett read aloud then looked up at Lady Jaye in disbelief. "Maybe it's another member of the DeCobray clan?"
"Then why is the Baroness dressed like Cher and talking to Arlie over there?" Lady Jaye pointed to where the Baroness was talking to the club owner.
"Is that HER? I didn't recognize her with the big hair!" Scarlett exclaimed in laughter. "Well I see she bought stock in Aqua Net."
"Hee, yeah! Oh and speaking of Aqua Net, here comes the next band."
"Wait a minute, that lead singer looks nothing like Jack Russell," Scarlett commented as the Great White cover band started playing on stage.
"What, not ugly enough?" Lady Jaye laughed.
"Well, yeah! This one's actually kind of cute!"
"I'll take the bass player, yum! Hel-LOO Tony!" Lady Jaye licked her lips then joked, "Come on, let's be cover band groupies. It'll be so much fun!"
"Sure! You should flash your boobs to the fake band so we can go fake- backstage."
"Well at least the boobs aren't fake," chimed a familiar voice. "And by the way, the REAL Tony went solo and cut his hair."
"Courtney!" Scarlett and Lady Jaye exclaimed together.
"So glad you could make it!" Lady Jaye greeted her.
"And miss a Def Leppard cover band trying to recreate greatness? Not on your life!" said Cover Girl. "I hope I didn't miss them."
"No, they're coming on later. So what's new with you, Courtney?" Scarlett asked.
"I'm now fashion editor at the magazine," Cover Girl proudly announced before her attention was diverted by the sultry bass intro to the next song played by the band. "Oh goodie! The band's playing Mista Bone! Lets go dance on the platform!"
"Ooh I love this song!" Scarlett gasped in delight as they made their way to the six-foot high dance platform, "It's so -,"
"Naughty?" Lady Jaye interrupted her.
"As a matter of fact - yes!" Scarlett answered haughtily. "Let's just say that Duke and I broke a few rules listening to this song."
"Guilty," Lady Jaye proudly surrendered, waving one hand up in the air.
"Ahem! Would that be military rules or, uh, OTHERWISE, Miss Scarlett?" Cover Girl probed.
"Uh, I'm going to take The Fifth on that," Scarlett grinned sheepishly as she blushed.
"That means both," Lady Jaye laughed as they started dancing on the platform to their beloved sexy song:
That girl is just a cool good looker
That baby's sweeter than raw brown sugar
Never mind Cause the fancy took her
She says she wants to Let the small head rock her
What a smile
Don't it drive you insane
Ooh ma baby
Drive a mile
Just to ride back again
Baby won't ya rock it tonight.
"I'm going to call Duke and make him sorry he isn't here," said Scarlett as she pulled her cell phone out of her Fendi pochette and dialed Duke's cell number.
"Hey gorgeous," Duke greeted her.
"I just want to show you what you're missing in New York. Does THIS ring any bells?" Scarlett asked as she held the phone in the air for him to hear the music:
And when she's in the mood
When she needs that lovin' groove
When she wants it rude
She grooves With Mista Bone
If she's in the mood
If she hits that lovin' groove
When she's gettin' rude
She grooves With Mista Bone.
"See? You could be here grooving with me to this," Scarlett taunted him.
"You're evil. You're not playing fair."
"All's fair in love and war, sweetheart."
"Yeah well just don't groove with anyone else. I'm the only Mista Bone in your life."
"Yes you are, lover."
Lady Jaye grabbed the phone from Scarlett. "I'm sorry Duke. Shana has to go because Hugh Jackman wants to dance with her immediately," she lied then closed the phone shut and handed it back to Scarlett then stated, "A hundred bucks says that he moves to the city by the end of the month."
"I'll take that bet!" Cover Girl chimed in. "I say by the end of next week. You were SLICK, Allie!"
"You're on!" Scarlett joined in the wager as they continued dancing away. By now there were several well-known admirers trying to dance with them on the platform as the song played on:
Just take it like a sweet injection
Just a token of my affection
Another night We'll take another direction
I'm gonna play you Like a rhythm section
What a style
Let me see that again
Ooh my baby
Drive a mile
Just to ride you again
Baby won't ya rock it tonight.
It's good to be so highly sought-after, and the fact that it's by a Somebody doesn't hurt either, Scarlett thought to herself as she danced with her admirer. Maybe Allie was right. But now getting too close for comfort, she backed away from her dance partner then suddenly felt her foot give away under her as the rest of her followed. She had stepped back too far and let out a high-pitched scream as she fell off the platform; her heart jumped in her throat as she proceeded to take the six-foot fall backwards. I'm going to be dance floor road-kill! She thought in distress as she prepared to crash and possibly break her back or neck. A soft landing. Instead of crashing into the floor, a stranger caught her in his arms.
"Thank you," she said to him.
"This must be my lucky day. It doesn't rain hot broads every day. So do I get to keep you?" he asked in a swaggering tone.
"I don't think so," she replied. "Can you put me down now?" The stranger obliged.
"You look familiar."
"Really? Well YOU don't," Scarlett teased him then walked away. Even though she didn't recognize the stranger, his voice sounded familiar and she knew that he had to be a Somebody if he was in the club. That Somebody was Howie Strong, King of All Media.
*******************
Disclaimer add-on: I do not own the lyrics to "Mista Bone" by Great White but it IS published with permission of a credited writer, so don't even think about suing. (Thanks Audster!)
*******************
CENTRAL PARK
Scarlett and Lady Jaye went for their ritual jog through Central Park, which provided much more pleasant scenery than their previous PT sessions at The Pitt from their Joe days. "Shana, I gotta ask you something," Lady Jaye started to inquire.
"Yeah?" Scarlett replied as they continued on their trail.
"Why doesn't Duke move out here? I mean how the hell are you supposed to figure out if you two can actually work in the Real World if you're doing a long-distance relationship? It's just another strike against you!"
"No, Duke doesn't like the city," Scarlett explained. "It's too fast-paced for him. He wants a nice quiet life in St. Louis."
"Hmph! That man should KNOW how many guys throw themselves at you when he's not around! And not just ANY guys; hot eligible prospects and big shots most women can only fantasize about!"
"Oh yeah? And what about Flint?" Scarlett challenged her. "Does he know about all your not-so-secret admirers? You could open a flower shop with as many roses as you get sent to you!"
"Yes he does thank you very much," said Lady Jaye triumphantly. "I have ways of making sure he stumbles across the information. It makes him spit nails but hey, I got him to move to the city didn't I?" Scarlett stopped to catch her breath. "Hey are you okay?" Lady Jaye asked in concern. It wasn't like her to tire so easily. Scarlett nodded.
"I guess I'm still tired from last night's performance and I didn't sleep well. And this producer has us on the most fucked up schedule," Scarlett feigned explanation as she sat down on the park bench to recover her strength.
"You have to do something Shana, you can't keep up this routine," Lady Jaye cautioned her. "You've certainly dropped enough weight over this, which is about to get dangerously low by the way."
"This producer doesn't know what he's doing," Scarlett tried to change the subject, "Between the scheduling, and the casting - I mean come on, YOU should have been the lead and not that sorry excuse Alexis just so she can spend her show time in rehab!" Scarlett went on to rant about what she would change in the show.
"Well, the show's a big hit so I guess they're doing something right." Lady Jaye shrugged.
"Well it could be a bigger hit," said Scarlett, then started rambling about box office numbers. Lady Jaye was taken aback.
"Why don't you produce?" Lady Jaye suggested.
"Huh?"
"Well, only if you want the headaches. But you certainly have the vision and the entrepreneurial spirit for it. And you hate performing to the point that it makes you physically ill."
"Hmm," Scarlett pondered. "You really think so? Me?"
"Yes! Most of these guys are too chicken to try something new and innovative. But not you; you've never given a damn about the nay-sayers."
"Well that's true. So what are we doing tonight since Flint's out of town?" Scarlett got back up so they could continue their jog.
"You want to go to The Suite tonight? It's Eighties Night there tonight," Lady Jaye excitedly informed Scarlett.
"What kind of Eighties?" Scarlett asked.
"Hair bands!" said Lady Jaye jubilantly, "Rock-n-Eighties, as if there were any other kind of Eighties! And get this: They're even going to have cover bands playing the Eighties tunes and even dressing up just like the bands such as Warrant and the like. It's the latest thing in the club scene."
"Why fake bands? Because the REAL Warrant is too busy playing their sold out show at Madison Square Garden?" Scarlett asked in mockery.
"Hmm, whatever happened to them?" Lady Jaye pondered aloud.
"Please don't tell me that WE have to dress Eighties as well?" Scarlett asked with dread.
"Of course not! The clothes were bad enough the first time around!" Lady Jaye said disdainfully.
"This makes us old, doesn't it?" Scarlett commented.
"My, my, my, I'm once bitten, twice shy, baby," Lady Jaye sang out loud, trying to ignore Scarlett's statement.
*******************
AQUARIUS SUITE
As planned, Lady Jaye and Scarlett went to Aquarius Suite for "Rock-n- Eighties" night. Most of the celebrity guests were dressed the part in Eighties rock star gear and the girls enjoyed observing and laughing at them, and the cover bands were for the most part a hoot - though some were actually pretty good. Everyone relished in the nostalgia.
"More leather and lycra than you can shake a stick at! So who's all playing tonight?" Scarlett asked. Lady Jaye picked up a program guide to see the band list.
"Ooh, you're never going to believe this. Take a look at this here," said Lady Jaye apprehensively as she handed Scarlett the guide, pointing to the top of the page.
"DeCobray Public Relations presents Rock-n-Eighties," Scarlett read aloud then looked up at Lady Jaye in disbelief. "Maybe it's another member of the DeCobray clan?"
"Then why is the Baroness dressed like Cher and talking to Arlie over there?" Lady Jaye pointed to where the Baroness was talking to the club owner.
"Is that HER? I didn't recognize her with the big hair!" Scarlett exclaimed in laughter. "Well I see she bought stock in Aqua Net."
"Hee, yeah! Oh and speaking of Aqua Net, here comes the next band."
"Wait a minute, that lead singer looks nothing like Jack Russell," Scarlett commented as the Great White cover band started playing on stage.
"What, not ugly enough?" Lady Jaye laughed.
"Well, yeah! This one's actually kind of cute!"
"I'll take the bass player, yum! Hel-LOO Tony!" Lady Jaye licked her lips then joked, "Come on, let's be cover band groupies. It'll be so much fun!"
"Sure! You should flash your boobs to the fake band so we can go fake- backstage."
"Well at least the boobs aren't fake," chimed a familiar voice. "And by the way, the REAL Tony went solo and cut his hair."
"Courtney!" Scarlett and Lady Jaye exclaimed together.
"So glad you could make it!" Lady Jaye greeted her.
"And miss a Def Leppard cover band trying to recreate greatness? Not on your life!" said Cover Girl. "I hope I didn't miss them."
"No, they're coming on later. So what's new with you, Courtney?" Scarlett asked.
"I'm now fashion editor at the magazine," Cover Girl proudly announced before her attention was diverted by the sultry bass intro to the next song played by the band. "Oh goodie! The band's playing Mista Bone! Lets go dance on the platform!"
"Ooh I love this song!" Scarlett gasped in delight as they made their way to the six-foot high dance platform, "It's so -,"
"Naughty?" Lady Jaye interrupted her.
"As a matter of fact - yes!" Scarlett answered haughtily. "Let's just say that Duke and I broke a few rules listening to this song."
"Guilty," Lady Jaye proudly surrendered, waving one hand up in the air.
"Ahem! Would that be military rules or, uh, OTHERWISE, Miss Scarlett?" Cover Girl probed.
"Uh, I'm going to take The Fifth on that," Scarlett grinned sheepishly as she blushed.
"That means both," Lady Jaye laughed as they started dancing on the platform to their beloved sexy song:
That girl is just a cool good looker
That baby's sweeter than raw brown sugar
Never mind Cause the fancy took her
She says she wants to Let the small head rock her
What a smile
Don't it drive you insane
Ooh ma baby
Drive a mile
Just to ride back again
Baby won't ya rock it tonight.
"I'm going to call Duke and make him sorry he isn't here," said Scarlett as she pulled her cell phone out of her Fendi pochette and dialed Duke's cell number.
"Hey gorgeous," Duke greeted her.
"I just want to show you what you're missing in New York. Does THIS ring any bells?" Scarlett asked as she held the phone in the air for him to hear the music:
And when she's in the mood
When she needs that lovin' groove
When she wants it rude
She grooves With Mista Bone
If she's in the mood
If she hits that lovin' groove
When she's gettin' rude
She grooves With Mista Bone.
"See? You could be here grooving with me to this," Scarlett taunted him.
"You're evil. You're not playing fair."
"All's fair in love and war, sweetheart."
"Yeah well just don't groove with anyone else. I'm the only Mista Bone in your life."
"Yes you are, lover."
Lady Jaye grabbed the phone from Scarlett. "I'm sorry Duke. Shana has to go because Hugh Jackman wants to dance with her immediately," she lied then closed the phone shut and handed it back to Scarlett then stated, "A hundred bucks says that he moves to the city by the end of the month."
"I'll take that bet!" Cover Girl chimed in. "I say by the end of next week. You were SLICK, Allie!"
"You're on!" Scarlett joined in the wager as they continued dancing away. By now there were several well-known admirers trying to dance with them on the platform as the song played on:
Just take it like a sweet injection
Just a token of my affection
Another night We'll take another direction
I'm gonna play you Like a rhythm section
What a style
Let me see that again
Ooh my baby
Drive a mile
Just to ride you again
Baby won't ya rock it tonight.
It's good to be so highly sought-after, and the fact that it's by a Somebody doesn't hurt either, Scarlett thought to herself as she danced with her admirer. Maybe Allie was right. But now getting too close for comfort, she backed away from her dance partner then suddenly felt her foot give away under her as the rest of her followed. She had stepped back too far and let out a high-pitched scream as she fell off the platform; her heart jumped in her throat as she proceeded to take the six-foot fall backwards. I'm going to be dance floor road-kill! She thought in distress as she prepared to crash and possibly break her back or neck. A soft landing. Instead of crashing into the floor, a stranger caught her in his arms.
"Thank you," she said to him.
"This must be my lucky day. It doesn't rain hot broads every day. So do I get to keep you?" he asked in a swaggering tone.
"I don't think so," she replied. "Can you put me down now?" The stranger obliged.
"You look familiar."
"Really? Well YOU don't," Scarlett teased him then walked away. Even though she didn't recognize the stranger, his voice sounded familiar and she knew that he had to be a Somebody if he was in the club. That Somebody was Howie Strong, King of All Media.
*******************