A/N: Ha! I fixed the coding problem… that was annoying my one serious reviewer and me. (thanks! Oh and a note to "Peeves" who hijacked my name the other day ::glare:: I do have a scene planned for you in another chapter. Thankies to all my Beta readers) Just a few notes on my perception of the teenage Marauders: since JKR never says what color Remus's eyes are I have decided to make them the color that I've always pictured them (gray). I also took the liberty of saying that Remus was Muggle-born (although there are others in his family with magical talent, also he is possibly Catholic), Peter half and half, and James and Sirius both pure bloods. That's all I have to say. Please, please, R/R!!!!
Chapter 2 "Callbacks"
"Ha, ha! I told you, you'd get it!" Sirius yelled slapping Remus hard on the back Tuesday morning as a huge group of students congregated in front of the list of people who made it to callbacks.
"Sirius, I made it to callbacks, not to Broadway…"
"Whatever! Same differen…" Sirius paused, "What's Broadway?"
Remus and Peter rolled their eyes as Lily tried to explain, sitting down beside James.
"So… How many of you are going to call backs?" James asked.
Everyone but Peter raised their hands. Peter smiled, embarrassed. "I just wanted to be a stage hand anyway," he commented.
"I don't know what I'm going to sing for the call backs," Sirius griped.
Peter looked confused, "I thought you said you were going to sing "I Need to Know."
Sirius shook his head. "We're supposed to sing two songs." He held up two fingers to emphasis this point. "What are you singing, Lil?"
Lily smiled wickedly. "It'll be a surprise."
"Oh, you're no fun," Sirius teased as James tried to pry the information out of the obstinate Lily. "What about you, Rem?"
Remus shook his head. "I've got an idea but I'm not sure." Running his fingers through his golden-brown hair, which was in need of a cut, he paused. "Do you think I should grow my hair out?"
James and Peter looked at Remus oddly.
Sirius grinned and started going off on how he had been considering the exact same thing.
"Considering?" Lily and Remus asked, indicating Sirius's nearly shoulder length locks.
Sirius shook his head. "It's not grown out 'til I can fit it all into a dogtail."
"Ponytail," Lily corrected.
Sirius glared, "I'm no pony."
"Well… whatever you are you and Rem need to get a move on choosing a song. The comebacks are Friday. I chose mine out before I even chose a group song."
"Oh, shut up, over achiever," Sirius teased.
Remus though was lost in thought. He knew what songs he wanted to perform, the question was if he would have the courage to let the world meet Edward Hyde.
Tuesday afternoon the group of seventh year Gryffindors walked into their Defense Against the Dark Arts class. There they were greeted with a rather bizarre site. Their teacher was wearing, not regular robes but Muggle clothes and was shoving papers hurriedly into her briefcase. Looking up as the students took their seats, not sure what else to do, she smiled apologetically.
Looking at her class she announced. "I'm sorry to do this but I have to leave. My sister has just owled me, and apparently my mother has taken quite ill."
She turned to the board and quickly wrote some directions.
"Please, read these pages and do this homework. I would recommend you go ahead and do this in class. Professor McGonagall will be checking in periodically to make sure that you're somewhat on task, although I expect that the Head Boy and Girl should be able to handle that. I'll hopefully be back in a few days." With that and amid the flurry of well wishes the professor walked out.
Remus and Lily had already flipped open their books. Remus groaned.
"What is it, Moony?" James asked concerned.
"Open your book," Lily indicated.
James, Sirius, and Peter did so.
"Oh…"
There in the scripted letters was printed clearly "Chapter 28, Werewolves".
They had studied this topic before and it was quite obvious how Remus felt on the subject. Even if he did earn the best grades on the essays and tests he lost points considerably on class participation, preferring to chew his quill pen until it was useless for writing rather than actually taking notes with it. The class would show horrible prejudices and misinformation, and one year a teacher had the gall to ask Remus if he wanted to talk about the subject with the class. Most fortunately this question was poised in private, and the teacher left the next year.
Flipping several pages forward, Remus (along with Sirius and James) opted to skip reading the chapter and simply answer the questions at the end of the lesson. Actually, Remus and James opted to answer the questions; Sirius began to take his ink and stain a fake tattoo onto the back of his hand and wrist, often referring to what appeared to be a page ripped from his Astrology book.
This earned him a glare from Lily but she said nothing, as she checked with the rest of the class to make sure that they weren't going to try and blow up something, although she had the suspicion that it would more than likely be the boys sitting next to her that would try a stunt like that. She soon saw that this supervision was pointless. The class was surprisingly on task despite conversations that were held between people as they read or answered questions.
Soon the conversations become audible across the room.
"I thought there was another way to become a werewolf, not just a bites and inherited curses."
"What else is there?"
"I thought I read somewhere that if you sold your soul…"
"Rubbish Muggle legend. There's no proof."
"But still it seems plausible, doesn't it?"
The eyes of the Mauraders and Lily were discreetly focused on Remus, whose pale cheeks were flushed and his shoulders tense, trying to focus entirely on his paper, staring at it with a look that could have ignited it.
"I mean, if they kill, they might as well have sold their soul right?"
Remus's quill jerked, splotching the paper with ink. He pulled out his wand and muttered a cleaning spell to get rid of the quickly spreading stains.
"I hear that they're supposed to have horrible tempers, they even look wolfish."
"Yea! I think I saw one last Hogsmeade visit! Remember? That bloke with all the hair, blackest hair I've ever seen, and his eyes were the weirdest shade of green-blue…"
Remus snorted. The last Hogsmeade visit had been on the full moon. No werewolf would have been out.
"Heh, just shake that silver cross you wear at him and you shouldn't have a problem, Rob."
Remus bolted. The conversations fell silent and Sirius and James jumped up after him, trying to do damage control.
"Tell McGonagall that we'll be back!" James yelled.
"He's sick!" Sirius added as a cover, and judging by the pallor on his friend's face he had seen as he left Sirius thought that that might not be an entire lie.
Peter and Lily stayed behind; no doubt to tell McGonagall that Remus must have come down with a stomach virus.
Sirius and James only caught up to their friend in the boy's bathroom, which, luckily, was empty.
Remus was clutching the counter, knuckles white, and his face gray. His steel-colored eyes appeared to shine oddly and there was a slightly bloodshot look to them.
"Remus…" Sirius ventured, not sure what to say.
To his shock, Remus did the last thing that neither Sirius nor James was prepared for. He laughed, mirthlessly, and began to laugh harder as he leaned against the counter, tears beginning to leak from his eyes.
Remus calmed himself somewhat. "It's so ironic. It's so bloody ironic." And reaching under his robes he pulled out a chain that glinted as light played off the silver metals. He laughed again. "Patron of animals, and patron of hopeless causes. Saint Francis and Saint Jude."
"Remus, you can't let what they said back there get to you," James began.
"Oh it's not that!" Remus suddenly became quite sober, and Sirius began to become disquieted by the quick switches that Remus was making, questioning if Remus could have a temporary lapse in sanity. "No, not what they said… well… partially…" He fiddled with the metals, not looking at either of his friends, staring into nothing. "You know how I… how I screamed last night in my sleep and wouldn't tell you why?"
Both boys nodded.
"I had a nightmare, not like the usual ones with the transformation or the cheep werewolf movie, and no Sirius not the one with the blonde and the leash," he added a ghost of a smile flickering across his face.
Sirius tried to smile back. It was a long-standing joke between them, that both had refused to explain to anyone.
James shook his head and muttered, "Canines."
"But, I had transformed and you both were with me. Prongs and Padfoot, but you transformed back before I did…" Remus began to pale again, his hands shaking trying to brush his hair out of his face anxiously, "You… I… I…"
It all became too much. Turning unexpectedly he just barely reached a sink, becoming violently sick at the images that were being replayed in front of his eyes.
Giving a feeble cough and spitting, he began to sob. "I tore you to pieces. You were still alive. I couldn't stop myself, and… And… Oh, God help me… I killed you both… God, God, God…"
Remus tried to wipe his mouth, and then sunk to the floor, shoulders shaking and face buried in his arms. "I hadn't felt that scared since…" Remus looked at James. "Since when I realized you pulled Severus back."
Sirius and James kneeled beside their friend.
"Come on," James said grabbing his arm. "Let's get out of here."
Remus looked at him. "Where are we going?"
Sirius grinned. "Mr. Prongs, I believe that Mr. Moony here could use a little pick-me-up. How about a mid-week Honeydukes basement raid?"
"I couldn't agree more myself."
"Nothing like a little hooky to make an official Marauder get in a better mood."
Remus began to smile. "We can't go now, we're supposed to be in class…"
"Mr. Prongs, I do believe that Mr. Moony's memory is failing him. If I recall correctly there is no professor in class and that it was our last class of the day."
"I believe you're right Mr. Padfoot. I believe, also, that a celebration is in order for the two contenders for the part of Doctor Henry Jekyll."
"Actually, Mr. Prongs, I believe there is no competition. I believe that Mr. Moony has the part in the bag. Next stop Honeydukes!"
Remus could not keep a strait face any longer. The overdone performance that James and Sirius were putting on was too much. By the time that the trio had reached the statue of the humpback witch nightmares were the last thing on his mind, and discussions of full moon marauding and the play were in full force.
That Friday evening Remus and Sirius were wishing Lily good luck as she rose from her seat to perform. James and Peter from under the invisibility cloak (auditions were supposed to be strictly for actors and judges) hissed their well-wishes.
Lily approached the stage and paused pulling out her wand and charming her clothes.
Sirius's jaw dropped as Lily mounted the stage in her costume and smiled seductively at the audience as her song began.
Remus's eyes too widened and he had the distinct impression that James's were even more wide as Lily began to sing with the music that had started up.
"There was a time, I don't know when, I didn't have much time for men. But this is now and that was then. I'm learning…"
Sirius leaned towards the apparently empty seat that James and Peter were supposed to be squashed into. "James, if you ever break up with her I just want to say that I have full dibs."
James was still too shocked to speak, as were the teachers it seemed, however Dumbledore seemed somewhat amused. Sweet, little, Head Girl Lily, was singing "Bring on the Men"? And doing an excellent job at that.
Looking around the theater Remus saw that the reaction was the same for most. Many boys bearing a strong resemblance to fish with their mouths gaping open. Remus's eyes landed on Severus. He too was eyeing Lily with a keen eye, a smile beginning to play on his lips as she began to hit the refrain.
"Sooo Leeeeets Briiiiiing on the Men! And let the fun begin, a little touch of sin, why wait another minute?"
James's head suddenly became visible, crouched down, peering between the seats open mouthed at Lily, mouthing wordlessly.
Finally, as he sat back he just shook his head and pulled the cloak back over himself.
Lily's performance went well, after finishing "Bring on the Men" she did a much more subdued act of "In His Eyes" after making sure to charm her costume into something at least modest, more befitting Dr. Jekyll's fiancé Liza, rather than the "Girl of the Night" Lucy. Soon though Lily was finished and McGonagall called out in a loud voice. "Lupin, Remus!"
With one last vote of confidence from his comrades Remus began to mount the stage, mentally becoming his characters. He looked out at the audience, letting his eyes adjust to the harsh lights magically projecting onto the stage.
Taking one last breath, Remus took the plunge.
"What is this feeling of power and drive
I've never known? I feel alive.
Where does this feeling of power derive
Making me know why I'm alive?"
Sirius was a bit taken aback. Remus was doing Hyde's main solo, no small piece of cake, and a rather surprising selection in his opinion for usually meek Remus.
"Like the night it's a secret, sinister, dark, and unknown.
I do not know what I seek yet I'll seek it alone.
I have a thirst that I cannot deprive
Never have I felt so alive.
There is no battle I couldn't survive,
feeling like this, feeling alive!
Like the moon an enigma
Lost and alone in the night
damned by some heavenly stigma,
but blazing with light!"
As the performance continued however James and Sirius exchanged a glance.
It's the feeling of being alive
full of evil, but truly alive
it's the truth that cannot be denied
It's the feeling of being Edward Hyde.
Sirius whispered, "That's not Remus…"his eyes fixed on Remus as he began to act out the scene of hunting down Lucy.
"Wait. what's this? Sweetness, I thought I'd lost you.
It's fate, what bliss.
Sweetness, your folly will cost you dear, my dear.
You'll see, you'll never escape me
I'm near, I fear, and you will pay dear, my dear."
"You're right, it's not Remus. That's Moony," James finished.
"Animals trapped behind bars in their cage
need to run rampant and free.
Predators live by the prey they pursue
this time the predator's me!
Lost like a raging desire
fills my whole soul with its curse
burning with primitive fire, berserk and perverse
Tonight! I'll plunder heaven blind
steal from all the gods
Tonight!, I'll take from all mankind
Conquer all the odds
And I feel I'll live on forever!
With Satan himself by my side!
and I'll show the world that tonight and forever
the name to remember is the name Edward Hyde!
What a feeling to be so alive!
I have never seen me so alive!
Such a feeling of evil inside!
That's the feeling of being Edward Hyde!
With this feeling of being alive
there's a new world I see come alive
It's a truth that cannot be denied
There's no feeling like being Edward Hyyyyde!"
Remus bowed and prepared for his next selection, and James, Sirius, and Peter exchanged another glance. Looking in the teachers' direction Sirius saw McGonagall mouth to Dumbledore, "Remus is playing Jekyll and Hyde."