A/N: *buries face in hands* I'm so SORRY! I'm such a bad author! *sob* There's absolutely NO excuse for the tardiness of this chapter, so I won't make one. I only meekly beg that you review :) Even though I've been mean and irresponsible…accept my humble apologies!
***
Lily stood up from her seat and walked to where Remus had pointed. Professor Dumbledore was waiting with his hands behind his back, looking very solemn indeed. James was already there. His eyes were fixed to the floor, and his face devoid of expression.
"Glad you decided to join us, Miss Evans. Follow me, please," said Dumbledore curtly.
James and Lily exchanged a rare look containing neither spite nor anger - only fear. Students were not called to the headmaster's office every day, after all. The three of them walked quickly, Lily and James having to stretch their strides in order to keep up with Dumbledore. Finally, the bearded man reached a statue and muttered a password Lily did not quite catch. The statue moved aside and Dumbledore strode inside without waiting for neither James nor Lily, whose robes were almost caught when it swung back shut.
They walked through a dark corridor for a while, sparsely lit by torches that gave the whole place a spooky look. Lily gulped and tried hard not to remember old muggle tales of evil wizards and what they did in the dark of night. She wanted to hold someone's hand - anyone's, even James - but instead kept her fists clenched at her side. If James could put on a show of courage, so could she.
Finally, the three of them reached Dumbledore's cluttered office. The headmaster took a seat on a large chair behind his desk. He did not ask Lily or James to sit down, but instead poured himself something to drink at his leisure. He said nothing for several minutes, and only Lily's shuffling feet broke the silence. She was nervous and scared and didn't like this one bit.
With my luck, she thought bitterly, I'll probably be expelled. But if I am, I'll make sure I take James with me.
She held on to this to this grim thought as though it was the only thing keeping her from screaming and bolting out the door, so strong was the tension. Come to think of it, perhaps it was the only thing that kept her from taking off at once. Her hatred for James created extraordinary strength, sometimes.
Finally, Dumbledore gave a small sigh and looked at them both. Lily noticed with satisfaction that this time, James shifted his feet a bit too. Dumbledore put down his mug of whatever it was he was drinking.
"Well," he said quietly. Lily broke out into a sweat with just that word. "Well, well. I must admit, I would never have thought it from either of you. A-students, both, high scores on exams - and liked by most, if not all, teachers."
James opened his mouth at this moment, but Dumbledore stifled his argument with a raise of his hand.
"Patience, Mister Potter. I will give you a chance to defend yourself. But let me make myself clear right away. What you did was very serious indeed, and the consequences…the consequences must reflect this. Do you agree, Miss Evans?"
Lily nodded silently. She suddenly wished for a chair; her legs no longer felt as though they could support her weight.
"Now," said Dumbledore, shuffling some papers on his desk. "I will give you each a chance to explain yourselves - one chance, mind! - before I decide whether or not it is necessary to suspend you from the school, in addition to your present detentions."
It was all Lily could do not to collapse to the floor just then. Suspension? Her parents would be furious! Lethal! They took great pride in Lily's being a witch, and if she got suspended…Lily shivered to think of the consequences.
James ran his tongue over pale lips, and his eyes widened. Obviously this was not going over too well with him, either. Dumbledore, however, did not seem to notice. He looked at Lily.
"You first, Miss Evans."
Lily took a deep breath and prayed her power of speech did not fail her then. She clasped her hands behind her to keep them from trembling.
"Well, you see, professor, we were in Divination - one of the three classes I have with him. We started - we started palmistry and…um…I was supposed to read his palm." She wet her lips quickly and took a deep breath. "I reached for his hand, but he twitched it away from me, so I reached for it again. He really was being insufferable, sir, and - "
"Insufferable?" James cried in outrage. "Excuse me? Who's the one who practically wrung the hair off my head?"
"Mr. Potter!" Dumbledore said sternly. "Do not make this worse for yourself!"
James clicked his mouth shut, but the look of sullen defiance never left his face. His outburst had given Lily a bit more courage, and she went on with her chin a little higher. Perhaps that chair wasn't necessary after all.
"Anyway," she continued, "I leaned to go get it, and fell over. I was finally able to get his hand. That's about when James decided to spit in my face…"
"After you punched me!" James practically shouted.
"Well you deserved it!" Lily shouted back. "If you hadn't made such a - such a damn big deal of everything, I wouldn't have had to! But you always have to make things so difficult, don't you, James?"
James snorted. "Difficult? Look who's talking, Little-Miss-Prissy! If you were any more frigid, it's be winter the whole bloody year!"
Lily glowered furiously at him and raised her hand slightly, preparing for a slap. James was just as red-faced as he was, and his attitude practically invited her hand to his cheek. Before she could get any further, though, Lily was interrupted and brought back to reality.
"That will be quite enough," said Dumbledore. He was very quiet. "I think I see exactly what the problem is."
Lily's eyes widened in mortification, and she fell to the floor with a loud thump. James snickered quietly at her, but Lily suspected he would have done the same had she not beaten him to it.
"Miss Evans, Mister Potter," Dumbledore said, "it is obvious to me you have some differences to work out. I trust you will do so, so I do not have to take matters in my own hands. You will go through with the month's detention assigned to you, whatever it may be. I suspect Professor Dehlaney will be quite harsh. You know," he continued, and for a minute his eyes twinkled, and a smile tugged at the corners of his mouth. "You gave her quite a fright. I suspect she never saw that in her crystal ball."
Lily smiled nervously and hauled herself to her feet. James looked as sullen as ever.
"Well, I think that's all, don't you? Yes. You may go now," said Dumbledore. He began leafing through a pile of papers, picking out one or two that he scanned quickly with half a mind.
Lily, unsure what to do, looked to James. He was already several paces down the hallway. Not wanting to be left alone, she scurried after him. James gave her a dirty look when she reached his side but said nothing, only clasped his hands behind his back.
"Well," Lily said cheerily, "that could have been worse."
"Shut up, Evans," James said quietly.
Lily gave him a deathly glare and closed her mouth. Then she gave a contemptuous sniff and stalked away from him.
James grinned cheekily to himself.
***
When Lily had finally reached the common room after a bit of wandering - the halls were blessedly empty at this time of day, and she rather enjoyed it - her friends immediately pounced on her. Arabella, who had been reading in an armchair, got to her first.
"Lily! Where've you been? James got here almost half an hour ago! He went off to talk with the other guys, though…" She scowled in the direction of the boys' dormitories. "So we didn't hear anything. And everyone is already in bed, even though it's really early." Her eyes sparkled. "Word is, something's going on tonight…I have no idea what it is, though. I guess we'll see, huh?"
"Anyway," Vibrance cut in, "the point Bella's trying to get to in her roundabout way is…what happened in Dumbledore's office?"
"It was weird," Lily said slowly, "he didn't give us any extra punishment. I really expected him to do something, but - "
"He's just a really nice guy," Sha finished for her.
"I guess," Lily said. "But he seemed pretty intent on expelling the both of us, at first. So I told my side of the story…"
"I'm sure it was perfectly accurate, too," Arabella grinned.
Lily glared at her. "Do you mind?"
"Obviously not!" Arabella said happily. "Go on, we're dying to hear what happened."
Lily threw up her hands in exasperation. "You've been hanging around Sirius way too much. Anyway…Where was I? Oh. So I told my side of the story, right? And James interrupts me once, and Dumbledore gets all mad at him. So I got to the part where James spit in my face - "
"After you punched him," Sha said judiciously.
"Yes," Lily said through gritted teeth. "Mister Potter kindly pointed that out to me too. Which was about when we started a shouting match…"
Vi threw up her hands in a fair imitation of Lily only minutes earlier. "You guys, I swear!" she cried, exasperated. "Can't you spend two minutes without being at each other's throats?"
Lily grinned at her. "Nope!"
"So what happened after that?" Arabella prodded.
"Well…Dumbledore told us to stop, and he said he 'knew what the problem was.' I'm not sure what that means, but he seemed amused when he said it. Which disturbs me."
"As it should!" chirped Arabella.
"Er…yes," Lily said uncertainly. "And then he just said we had our detentions and everything, and he let us go. It was totally messed up."
"Yes," Vi said. "Yes it was. I think we should go to the dormitories now…I'm dying to know what's going on!"
"I agree," Sha said happily. She grabbed Lily and Arabella's arms and began dragging them towards the staircase. "Let's go!"
***
Up in the boys' dorm, excitement was thick. James shared a room with Remus, Sirius, Peter, and several other boys who were, for the most part, oblivious to what the four were discussing.
"I still cannot believe," said Sirius while pulling on a black turtleneck, "that you got away with it."
"Yeah, not kidding!" Remus put it. "We were sure Dumbledore would fry you."
James shrugged nonchalantly and pulled on black gloves. "Me too. But I guess that Evans prat sucked up to him enough that he let us off the hook." He grimaced, possibly at the notion of saying something vaguely complementary about Lily. "But that's all for later. You got the map, Peter?"
"Right here," Peter said, pulling out a rolled up piece of parchment. He too, was dressed all in black.
James held out his hand. "Give it here, I need to make sure I know where I'm going."
Peter handed him the map, which depicted all of Hogwarts, complete with all the secret passageways he four boys had discovered. A simple spell and tap of the wand changed the area of the castle you were looking at. James peered at it a minute, engraving a certain part of the school in his mind, then nodded and handed the map back to the other boy.
"I think I got it…Sirius, you sure the rat'll follow?"
Sirius gave him a trademark grin and sat down on the bed. "Definitely," he said, flexing his hands and arms. "There's no WAY he couldn't know what's going on, and knowing him…well, he can't keep his slimy nose out of anything."
Peter snickered at this, and Sirius grinned at him wolfishly.
"Good," said James in a businesslike manner. "Now…who's bringing the matches?"
He pulled from his trunk a gigantic firework, a full two feet in diameter and three high. Both his arms were wrapped protectively around it, and his grin split his face in half.
"I am," Remus began, "but James, don't you think - "
He was interrupted by Sirius who, with a wondrous look in his eyes, put his arm around James' shoulder in a friendly way.
"James, comrade," he said grandly, "you must tell me where in hell you've obtained that thing…so I can congratulate you."
"That, comrade," James said, ducking out from under his arm, "is a story for another day. Everyone ready?"
Peter and Remus nodded solemnly, and Sirius all but squeaked with anticipation. The four gave the others in the dorm a look that spoke volumes and disappeared out the portrait hole.
"Peter," James whispered, "you know what to do. Go ahead. Sirius, you stay with me. Remus, since you're the quietest, you go ahead and make sure the coast is clear! We'll count to twenty before following you."
"Right!" Peter said in a hushed voice. He turned on his foot and disappeared in the shadows, towards the Slytherin's dorm. Remus echoed him and crept the other way, his eyes shifting furtively, searching for any unwelcome intruders.
"Start counting," James muttered.
"One…two…three…four…twenty-seven…sixty-five…"
"Sirius!" James hissed.
"Right, right! Sorry. Eight…nine…ten…"
When Sirius reached twenty, James motioned him silently and followed in Remus' footsteps. There were no signs indicating that teachers were in the hallway, so James moved fairly quickly. At one point, a few feet from the Grand Hall, he leaned over to Sirius.
"Is he following?" he whispered.
Sirius chanced a quick glance behind him. A shadow leaped behind a wall, but not before he had spotted it.
"Yes, he whispered back. Only a few yards back…"
"Good," said James. "Look skulkier!"
"I'm doing my skulkiest, your skulkiness," Sirius muttered.
"Shut up, Sirius," James hissed back.
They went along through the great hall and over to the statue that stood before the entrance to Dumbledore's office. It looked much more imposing in the dark, and James shivered slightly against his will remembering what could have come out of his visit to it.
"I was beginning to think you'd never come," said Remus quietly. James had not even seen him in the shadows.
"Sirius had a little counting problem," James said. "Look, let's hurry up with this. Where's the match?"
"Right here," Remus replied, brandishing the article in his hand.
"Ok," James whispered. "You light it, and we'll make enough noise so he'll come looking over here. Peter should already be at the entrance, waiting to cover for us."
"I know, I know" Sirius said impatiently. "Can I go set it up now?"
"Yeah, go ahead," James answered.
Sirius tiptoed over between two chairs lying directly in front of the firework, which James had placed on the floor. Deftly, Sirius pulled out a piece of string and tied an end to each of the chairs. After making sure it was taut enough to work, he took a few steps back and took out a pot.
"Sirius," Remus said, irritated, "will you stop snickering and get on with it?"
"Yes, sir!" Sirius said smartly.
He dipped a sort of spatula into pot and spread its substance out a few feet from the string. Careful not to step in it, he returned to the other two.
"Ready," he whispered, his voice breathless with excitement. "Let's do this."
Remus lighted a match and held it up obviously. The shadow that had been tracking them since the hallways moved noticeable closer. Remus quickly touched the flame to the fuse and blew out the match.
"Let's go," he whispered urgently.
James said loudly, "Gosh, if anyone catches us, we're toast! I hope we can get away, Sirius!"
The shadow finally showed itself. Severus Snape emerged, running, from between two tables. He had a look of triumph on his face at finally catching his foes in the act. James gave him a grim smile, turned, and fled with Remus and Sirius. Severus kept running, unable to see the statue only a few yards away. Suddenly, his foot caught something. It couldn't be. Flailing his arms wildly, he tried in vain to regain his balance.
His face hit the ground heavily, but instead of feeling the cool hardness of the floor, he found instead a sticky gunk. Severus jerked his head, succeeding only in ripping out a large chunk of hair and releasing some shrieks of pain from his throat. Suddenly, his eyes caught something. A light. A light, that seemed to be getting close to something…
They wouldn't, Severus thought wildly. Even them, even they wouldn't…
The only thing he could do was close his eyes and pray when the fuse finally reached the large, red body of the firework.
***
James settled into bed soon after Remus, Peter, and Sirius had. Their black clothes had been discarded and shoved at the very bottom of the trunks. All traces of evidence had been carefully eliminated by James, except for one small thing.
On Sirius' nightstand, a large round pot sat that read:
"Gobblygunk's Superglue! Glues anything, anywhere! Guaranteed to outlast its owner. CAUTION: Very, very sticky."
***
A/N: Hooha, mad fun! Heh. I really want to write fluff, but for your (collective audience's) sake, I finished up this chapter with action. Be happy, blast you all! Oh, and go see When Harry Met Sally if you haven't already. I promise you, you won't be disappointed! It is THE ultimate L/J movie, I'm dead serious :) Please R/R!