Desert Rose
Chapter One: The Madness Called "Now"
Kattie
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and "Art of Life" both belong to people who are not me. ;_; But… but… I own the words that aren't X-Japan's! None of the names or characters except the very insignificant (well actually- significant with small parts) characters! Yay! I own something!
Information: This is a song fanfiction to the song "Art of Life" by X-Japan. If you like this fanfiction and X-Japan, I wrote a songfic to "Forever Love" as well ^.~. Lyrics are enclosed by asterisks! *lalallala* see?
Warning: Major angst! Not kidding here! More than one chapter for a song fanfic (the song's like 29 minutes! I can't fit it into one chapter!) Hinted shounen ai- but nothing more… yet. Very confusing fanfic at first, all will be explained! Stay tuned for further warnings ^.~
Dedication: This is dedicated to Hide! Rest in peace!
"What gives you the right to live? The right to kill me, so you can live? I'm a person too. I have a family, a home, a life… or I did. Not anymore."
*Desert Rose
Why do you live alone?*
Trowa watched Quatre burrow deeper into himself. Something had happened and he wouldn't tell anyone. He'd just stay lost in whatever had happened, letting himself grow more and more depressed.
Yet, all the same, he said he was perfectly fine. That they were overreacting. But Quatre had that wrong. When it had to do with Quatre's welfare, they could never overreact, because he would never take anything bad seriously, as long as he was the only one hurt by it.
Still, this time he looked more hurt than ever. He couldn't hold back the tears this time. His beautiful pale face was stained with tears that had a hidden meaning. It was time to try again.
"Quatre." Trowa said, walking up to his melancholy friend.
Quatre looked up at Trowa and forced a weak smile. "Hello, Trowa. How are you?"
"Fine." Trowa answered flatly. "You?"
"Me?" Quatre sounded almost surprised. "I'm fine." Although his smile broadened, his eyes remained emotionless. Hallow shells of the beauty that had once been entrapped in them. And then, the smile was gone again, and Quatre began looking ahead again, to the memories that were hidden behind those empty eyes.
He'd never tell Trowa. Because Quatre Raberba Winner was someone who lived through his sorrows alone. Who didn't want to burden anyone else with his problems.
Even if it tore his heart apart.
*If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life*
Mentally, Trowa took a deep breath. "Quatre, you need to tell us what's wrong. We're worried about you."
Trowa had wanted to see emotion in his blonde companion's eyes again, but he'd never wanted it this way. Quatre's eyes were painted with an extreme sadness that Trowa had only seen once before, when an old woman found out her son and his family had been killed in a shuttle, as casualties of war. But what could make Quatre that sad?
"There's nothing wrong, Trowa," Quatre replied, his voice trembling despite his obvious efforts to speak clearly, "It's just-" He cut himself off with a sigh. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing."
Putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, Trowa asked the question that had been on his, as well as the other pilot's, minds since he'd began acting this way, "Do you need to stop piloting the Gundam?"
The mixed emotion that fell upon Quatre's face made Trowa want to shoot himself for asking. There was the sadness from before, but now there was hurt and desperation. And something Trowa had never seen within Quatre before. Something inside Quatre was now broken and Trowa feared he'd never be able to repair it.
"No," Quatre said finally, casting his gaze on the floor, "I'll be fine."
"We do need you," Trowa replied quietly, "But your health is more important right now. If you need some time… we understand."
"I don't need a break, Trowa," Quatre explained, "I'll be fine. I just need to think about some things."
*Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand*
With those words, Quatre's emotions became unreadable again. The mask Quatre had learned to adopt in these times covered the pain Trowa had just seen. With his skin so pale, this left Quatre looking like a china doll. This porcelain face made it impossible for Trowa to understand what was wrong.
Not that he could understand before…
*The winds of time
You knock me to the ground*
"Quatre," Trowa said again, knowing he couldn't bear leaving Quatre alone like this, "I-"
"Please, Trowa," Quatre interupted, "I'm sorry, but I need to be alone right now."
Trowa nodded, but stood by Quatre anyway, still unable to leave his friend alone. Not like this…
Quatre's eyes fell upon the tall brunette, with a gaze that could see deep into Trowa's chest. He felt like any secrets he could have would now be revealed to the azure-eyed boy.
"I need to be alone, Trowa." Quatre repeated.
Still Trowa stayed, frozen like a deer in headlights.
Tears began making their way down Quatre's face again. "LEAVE!" He screamed, as he began sobbing.
"Alright," Trowa said quietly, "I'll be in the other room."
The small blonde curled up into a ball as Trowa disappeared through the door. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"
"Selfish, that's what you are! You think you're the only person in the world. That people like me don't count. We're just like a sandcastle on a beach. You push us with the waves of your hatred until finally we come crashing down and wash away. Selfish."
Short, yes, they might all be short. But I thought this was a good place to end. Please review! Reviews make me happy ^____^
Reviews= Inspiration= Quicker chapters! (If you hated this you could just… not review… instead of flaming ^^* Make me happy? ^_______^?)
Chapter One: The Madness Called "Now"
Kattie
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing and "Art of Life" both belong to people who are not me. ;_; But… but… I own the words that aren't X-Japan's! None of the names or characters except the very insignificant (well actually- significant with small parts) characters! Yay! I own something!
Information: This is a song fanfiction to the song "Art of Life" by X-Japan. If you like this fanfiction and X-Japan, I wrote a songfic to "Forever Love" as well ^.~. Lyrics are enclosed by asterisks! *lalallala* see?
Warning: Major angst! Not kidding here! More than one chapter for a song fanfic (the song's like 29 minutes! I can't fit it into one chapter!) Hinted shounen ai- but nothing more… yet. Very confusing fanfic at first, all will be explained! Stay tuned for further warnings ^.~
Dedication: This is dedicated to Hide! Rest in peace!
"What gives you the right to live? The right to kill me, so you can live? I'm a person too. I have a family, a home, a life… or I did. Not anymore."
*Desert Rose
Why do you live alone?*
Trowa watched Quatre burrow deeper into himself. Something had happened and he wouldn't tell anyone. He'd just stay lost in whatever had happened, letting himself grow more and more depressed.
Yet, all the same, he said he was perfectly fine. That they were overreacting. But Quatre had that wrong. When it had to do with Quatre's welfare, they could never overreact, because he would never take anything bad seriously, as long as he was the only one hurt by it.
Still, this time he looked more hurt than ever. He couldn't hold back the tears this time. His beautiful pale face was stained with tears that had a hidden meaning. It was time to try again.
"Quatre." Trowa said, walking up to his melancholy friend.
Quatre looked up at Trowa and forced a weak smile. "Hello, Trowa. How are you?"
"Fine." Trowa answered flatly. "You?"
"Me?" Quatre sounded almost surprised. "I'm fine." Although his smile broadened, his eyes remained emotionless. Hallow shells of the beauty that had once been entrapped in them. And then, the smile was gone again, and Quatre began looking ahead again, to the memories that were hidden behind those empty eyes.
He'd never tell Trowa. Because Quatre Raberba Winner was someone who lived through his sorrows alone. Who didn't want to burden anyone else with his problems.
Even if it tore his heart apart.
*If you are sad
I'll make you leave this life*
Mentally, Trowa took a deep breath. "Quatre, you need to tell us what's wrong. We're worried about you."
Trowa had wanted to see emotion in his blonde companion's eyes again, but he'd never wanted it this way. Quatre's eyes were painted with an extreme sadness that Trowa had only seen once before, when an old woman found out her son and his family had been killed in a shuttle, as casualties of war. But what could make Quatre that sad?
"There's nothing wrong, Trowa," Quatre replied, his voice trembling despite his obvious efforts to speak clearly, "It's just-" He cut himself off with a sigh. "Don't worry about it. It's nothing."
Putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, Trowa asked the question that had been on his, as well as the other pilot's, minds since he'd began acting this way, "Do you need to stop piloting the Gundam?"
The mixed emotion that fell upon Quatre's face made Trowa want to shoot himself for asking. There was the sadness from before, but now there was hurt and desperation. And something Trowa had never seen within Quatre before. Something inside Quatre was now broken and Trowa feared he'd never be able to repair it.
"No," Quatre said finally, casting his gaze on the floor, "I'll be fine."
"We do need you," Trowa replied quietly, "But your health is more important right now. If you need some time… we understand."
"I don't need a break, Trowa," Quatre explained, "I'll be fine. I just need to think about some things."
*Are you white, blue or bloody red?
All I can see is drowning in cold grey sand*
With those words, Quatre's emotions became unreadable again. The mask Quatre had learned to adopt in these times covered the pain Trowa had just seen. With his skin so pale, this left Quatre looking like a china doll. This porcelain face made it impossible for Trowa to understand what was wrong.
Not that he could understand before…
*The winds of time
You knock me to the ground*
"Quatre," Trowa said again, knowing he couldn't bear leaving Quatre alone like this, "I-"
"Please, Trowa," Quatre interupted, "I'm sorry, but I need to be alone right now."
Trowa nodded, but stood by Quatre anyway, still unable to leave his friend alone. Not like this…
Quatre's eyes fell upon the tall brunette, with a gaze that could see deep into Trowa's chest. He felt like any secrets he could have would now be revealed to the azure-eyed boy.
"I need to be alone, Trowa." Quatre repeated.
Still Trowa stayed, frozen like a deer in headlights.
Tears began making their way down Quatre's face again. "LEAVE!" He screamed, as he began sobbing.
"Alright," Trowa said quietly, "I'll be in the other room."
The small blonde curled up into a ball as Trowa disappeared through the door. "I'm sorry." He whispered. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"
"Selfish, that's what you are! You think you're the only person in the world. That people like me don't count. We're just like a sandcastle on a beach. You push us with the waves of your hatred until finally we come crashing down and wash away. Selfish."
Short, yes, they might all be short. But I thought this was a good place to end. Please review! Reviews make me happy ^____^
Reviews= Inspiration= Quicker chapters! (If you hated this you could just… not review… instead of flaming ^^* Make me happy? ^_______^?)