Desert Rose
Chapter 5: Flowers Fall
Kattie
Disclaimer: I do not own "Art of Life" or Gundam Wing.
Warning: Major angst. Some shounen ai- not much, but it may become more later. There will be no sex scenes whatsoever. Somewhat confusing at the beginning but everything will be explained later on.
Dedication: This is dedicated to Hide. Rest in peace. bows
"What kind of man places his life above all others?"
*My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love*
"You're lying!" Quatre's voice screamed through the sobs. "You don't know! No one could forgive me for this.. Not even you.."
Trowa was growing desperate. Would nothing he said make a difference? "Nothing could make me hate you," Trowa repeated, "Nothing."
"..Nothing?" Quatre's meek voice asked, sounding unsure and small.
Feeling a bit comforted at the thought that he might actually get through to Quatre, Trowa continued. "Even if you tried your hardest to make me hate you, Quatre," he said soothingly, "I would still love you."
* Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood*
Hiiro's timing was horrible. With Quatre distracted by Trowa's words, he shot a beam off at a control panel in Sandrock's arm, attempting to make it inactive. The shot was well aimed but it wasn't quick enough.
Seeing it just in time, Quatre swerved to avoid the beam, letting it slightly graze Sandrock's shoulder. "Wh-what.." He asked with a voice full of melancholy surprise, "What are you trying to do?"
"What are you trying to do?" Quatre repeated. "Are.. Are you trying to kill me?" He fell silent for a second before continuing, "Those who attack me are my enemy.. Are you my enemy?"
A voice in Quatre's head began screaming at him and through him. His voice screamed the words formed by the entity in his mind. "I must destroy my enemy!"
'With their blood you can paint a realm devoted to nothingness.' Something in the back of his mind said softly. 'When there is nothing, there is no sin.'
* Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"*
Again Quatre lost all sense of time, all sense of everything. Disorientation was as strong as the confusion and he could sort nothing out but one thing. He had to kill his enemy. It was his entire being, his reason for living, his reason for existing.
Drawing his shortels (1), Quatre proceeded to slash them at Wing's middle. Hiiro barely avoided them, not expecting Quatre to actually attack him.
"What are you doing?" Hiiro asked, dodging another strike.
Quatre's deep, uneasy breaths were his only response.
The fear in Trowa's chest seemed to triple as he remembered the last time Quatre had lost control of the Zero System. With a lack of control and conscience, Quatre was nearly unstoppable.
Nearly.
*Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure*
"Stop it, Quatre!" Trowa yelled. "You're going to kill someone."
"I will kill everything," Quatre replied, his voice sounding calm in an eerie, unnatural way, "To create a realm of nothingness."
"Why?" Trowa asked, feeling his eyes burn with tears he'd never dare to shed.
Sandrock went still. "Why?" Quatre's voice repeated. "Why?"
"Yes." Trowa said, forcing his voice to sound unafraid though God knew he was so scared he wanted to bury his face in a pillow and wait for it to end. But the real fear came from knowing what would happen if he did wait. If he let what would be, be. "Why do you want to destroy everything?"
There was a silence as Quatre thought out his answer carefully. ".. Because.. 'When there is nothing, there is no sin'.."
"But is the loss of sin, worth the loss of so many other things?" Trowa questioned.
Another pause. When Quatre replied this time, his voice sounded so uncertain that it was almost a question. "Yes?"
Sighing, Trowa rested his hand against the dark screen tiredly. "Is it worth losing love, Quatre?"
".. I.. But.. It.. It wouldn't- " Quatre interrupted his mutterings with a blood-curdling scream.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Trowa inhaled sharply as a new edge was added to his fear. Quatre's scream echoed in his head over and over, making him lose his train of thought and think only of how to end his lover's suffering. The scream seemed like a bell tolling at the end of the world, warning everyone that they would soon be dead.
The scream was of anguish and sorrow, but at the same time it reeked of horror. Something was scaring Quatre. Trowa wanted nothing more than to know what it was so he could help him overcome this fear.
"STOP!" Quatre screamed. Sandrock began moving again in stiff, but quick, motions in directions that seemed completely irrational. "STOOOP!"
One of the shortels was dropped and began floating eerily to Sandrock's side. The other was clutched tightly in its hand. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Quatre's sobbing came over the system. "Stop.." He offered weakly.
"QUATRE!" Trowa screamed in response. "What's wrong?!"
Swinging the shortel in Sandrock's hand as if it were a battle axe, Quatre plunged it into his Gundam's side. "STOP!"
"QUATRE!"
*And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do? *
"STOP!" Quatre screamed, plunging his shortel into Sandrock's side.
Something was wrong. He couldn't stop himself from attacking Hiiro. His shortels had seemed to fly out on their own, intent on destroying Wing. He knew he could destroy Hiiro's Gundam. With this much confusion, Zero System was trying to make Sandrock kill everything within the universe.
Quatre deserved to die anyway. With all the control he had left, he'd attempted to end his life. The self-destruct system wasn't quick enough. If he lost control again, it could easily be stopped.
There was a sharp pain in his head as it slammed against the controls. He was scarcely aware of Trowa screaming his name.
'I'm sorry, Trowa,' Quatre said quickly in his confused mind, 'I don't know what to do.. But if I die, I can save those I love from myself.'
* I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart*
Everything grew hazy and soon, all that remained was darkness.
'What are you going to do, Quatre?' A voice asked, 'Kill yourself? You're more of a coward than I thought.'
'Do you remember what you did? Do you remember why you are eternally damned to a Hell of your own making?'
'Do you know what lies in your future? Do you know where you're headed?'
'Ride your broken stallion to the depths of Hell. You could use a little warmth.'
"QUATRE!"
*Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
On the wall of time, over pain in my heart *
Uncertain of what to do, how to save his love, Trowa did the first thing that came to mind. He pulled the shortel out of Sandrock, hoping with all his heart that its pilot would be all right.
"QUATRE!" he screamed again. "Damn it! Answer me!"
"Quatre?" Duo tried. "Are you okay?"
Suddenly, there was nothing. If Quatre was dead, then there was nothing in the world. There was no reason to breathe, to wake up in the morning. There were no memories. There was no more time, no more sense of the world. All that was left was a fleeting feeling of endless love.
"Nh.." Trowa's heart skipped a beat as he heard Quatre's weak groan.
* Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now*
Later, Quatre wouldn't be able to recall any detail of this horrific dream. He wouldn't understand why he came to in tears. Why he had a sense of loss and fear. He wouldn't be able to recall why he was so upset when he awoke.
He saw his hand, but something was different about it. Instead of being its usually pale color, the skin on Quatre's hand had been dyed red by blood and in it, there was a shining knife.
"No.." Quatre said quietly.
The room was covered in corpses. There was a dead body to match everyone he'd ever met. His father, Rashid, Sally Po..
And Trowa.
"NO!"
Beside him was the soldier. The one who had began all of this. He was the reason that everything had fallen out of place. It was him.
"Look what you've done," The soldier grinned, "You've killed everyone but yourself. Not a realm devoted to nothingness, but one dedicated to yourself."
'That's right,' Quatre reminded himself, 'I'm a selfish, unworthy person. But this dream is inaccurate. I've only killed myself.'
It was somehow reassuring and yet..
Trowa..
*But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying*
"QUATRE!"
Quatre lurched into consciousness, knocking his head against the screen again. "Trowa?"
* * *
Trowa would've given anything to be in the cockpit with Quatre at that moment. To hold the gentle blonde in his arms and tell him everything would be all right. To comfort him and yell at him for even thinking of ending his precious, precious life.
But even as he wished, he couldn't do anything but speak to Quatre from a distance. "Just stay there. We'll take you back."
"No.. you can't.." Quatre's voice replied.
Squeezing his hand into a tight fist, Trowa slammed it against the roof of Heavy Arms. "Damn it, Quatre! You have to come back."
Quatre moaned, his voice full of pain, probably from the impact of the shortel entering Sandrock. "I'll just kill you.. Like I killed him.. There wasn't anything else to do but I.. I can't live with that."
"But I can't leave you, Trowa. I can't leave you.."
Quatre's sobs echoed over the communicators. "I don't know what to do!"
'They took her to the cemetery in a black ol' Cadillac,' the memory said in a sing-song voice, 'They took her to the cemetery but they did not bring her back.'
End of Chapter
Please review, if you have the time.
(1) The shortels are those sword-ish weapons Sandrock uses.
Chapter 5: Flowers Fall
Kattie
Disclaimer: I do not own "Art of Life" or Gundam Wing.
Warning: Major angst. Some shounen ai- not much, but it may become more later. There will be no sex scenes whatsoever. Somewhat confusing at the beginning but everything will be explained later on.
Dedication: This is dedicated to Hide. Rest in peace. bows
"What kind of man places his life above all others?"
*My brain gets blown away hearing words of lies
I only want to hold your love*
"You're lying!" Quatre's voice screamed through the sobs. "You don't know! No one could forgive me for this.. Not even you.."
Trowa was growing desperate. Would nothing he said make a difference? "Nothing could make me hate you," Trowa repeated, "Nothing."
"..Nothing?" Quatre's meek voice asked, sounding unsure and small.
Feeling a bit comforted at the thought that he might actually get through to Quatre, Trowa continued. "Even if you tried your hardest to make me hate you, Quatre," he said soothingly, "I would still love you."
* Stab the dolls filled with hate
Wash yourself with their blood*
Hiiro's timing was horrible. With Quatre distracted by Trowa's words, he shot a beam off at a control panel in Sandrock's arm, attempting to make it inactive. The shot was well aimed but it wasn't quick enough.
Seeing it just in time, Quatre swerved to avoid the beam, letting it slightly graze Sandrock's shoulder. "Wh-what.." He asked with a voice full of melancholy surprise, "What are you trying to do?"
"What are you trying to do?" Quatre repeated. "Are.. Are you trying to kill me?" He fell silent for a second before continuing, "Those who attack me are my enemy.. Are you my enemy?"
A voice in Quatre's head began screaming at him and through him. His voice screamed the words formed by the entity in his mind. "I must destroy my enemy!"
'With their blood you can paint a realm devoted to nothingness.' Something in the back of his mind said softly. 'When there is nothing, there is no sin.'
* Drive into the raging current of time
Swing your murderous weapon into the belly
"the earth"*
Again Quatre lost all sense of time, all sense of everything. Disorientation was as strong as the confusion and he could sort nothing out but one thing. He had to kill his enemy. It was his entire being, his reason for living, his reason for existing.
Drawing his shortels (1), Quatre proceeded to slash them at Wing's middle. Hiiro barely avoided them, not expecting Quatre to actually attack him.
"What are you doing?" Hiiro asked, dodging another strike.
Quatre's deep, uneasy breaths were his only response.
The fear in Trowa's chest seemed to triple as he remembered the last time Quatre had lost control of the Zero System. With a lack of control and conscience, Quatre was nearly unstoppable.
Nearly.
*Shout and start creating confusion
Shed your blood for pleasure*
"Stop it, Quatre!" Trowa yelled. "You're going to kill someone."
"I will kill everything," Quatre replied, his voice sounding calm in an eerie, unnatural way, "To create a realm of nothingness."
"Why?" Trowa asked, feeling his eyes burn with tears he'd never dare to shed.
Sandrock went still. "Why?" Quatre's voice repeated. "Why?"
"Yes." Trowa said, forcing his voice to sound unafraid though God knew he was so scared he wanted to bury his face in a pillow and wait for it to end. But the real fear came from knowing what would happen if he did wait. If he let what would be, be. "Why do you want to destroy everything?"
There was a silence as Quatre thought out his answer carefully. ".. Because.. 'When there is nothing, there is no sin'.."
"But is the loss of sin, worth the loss of so many other things?" Trowa questioned.
Another pause. When Quatre replied this time, his voice sounded so uncertain that it was almost a question. "Yes?"
Sighing, Trowa rested his hand against the dark screen tiredly. "Is it worth losing love, Quatre?"
".. I.. But.. It.. It wouldn't- " Quatre interrupted his mutterings with a blood-curdling scream.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Trowa inhaled sharply as a new edge was added to his fear. Quatre's scream echoed in his head over and over, making him lose his train of thought and think only of how to end his lover's suffering. The scream seemed like a bell tolling at the end of the world, warning everyone that they would soon be dead.
The scream was of anguish and sorrow, but at the same time it reeked of horror. Something was scaring Quatre. Trowa wanted nothing more than to know what it was so he could help him overcome this fear.
"STOP!" Quatre screamed. Sandrock began moving again in stiff, but quick, motions in directions that seemed completely irrational. "STOOOP!"
One of the shortels was dropped and began floating eerily to Sandrock's side. The other was clutched tightly in its hand. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Quatre's sobbing came over the system. "Stop.." He offered weakly.
"QUATRE!" Trowa screamed in response. "What's wrong?!"
Swinging the shortel in Sandrock's hand as if it were a battle axe, Quatre plunged it into his Gundam's side. "STOP!"
"QUATRE!"
*And what? For love?
What am I supposed to do? *
"STOP!" Quatre screamed, plunging his shortel into Sandrock's side.
Something was wrong. He couldn't stop himself from attacking Hiiro. His shortels had seemed to fly out on their own, intent on destroying Wing. He knew he could destroy Hiiro's Gundam. With this much confusion, Zero System was trying to make Sandrock kill everything within the universe.
Quatre deserved to die anyway. With all the control he had left, he'd attempted to end his life. The self-destruct system wasn't quick enough. If he lost control again, it could easily be stopped.
There was a sharp pain in his head as it slammed against the controls. He was scarcely aware of Trowa screaming his name.
'I'm sorry, Trowa,' Quatre said quickly in his confused mind, 'I don't know what to do.. But if I die, I can save those I love from myself.'
* I believe in the madness called "Now"
Past and future prison my heart*
Everything grew hazy and soon, all that remained was darkness.
'What are you going to do, Quatre?' A voice asked, 'Kill yourself? You're more of a coward than I thought.'
'Do you remember what you did? Do you remember why you are eternally damned to a Hell of your own making?'
'Do you know what lies in your future? Do you know where you're headed?'
'Ride your broken stallion to the depths of Hell. You could use a little warmth.'
"QUATRE!"
*Time is blind
But I wanna trace my love
On the wall of time, over pain in my heart *
Uncertain of what to do, how to save his love, Trowa did the first thing that came to mind. He pulled the shortel out of Sandrock, hoping with all his heart that its pilot would be all right.
"QUATRE!" he screamed again. "Damn it! Answer me!"
"Quatre?" Duo tried. "Are you okay?"
Suddenly, there was nothing. If Quatre was dead, then there was nothing in the world. There was no reason to breathe, to wake up in the morning. There were no memories. There was no more time, no more sense of the world. All that was left was a fleeting feeling of endless love.
"Nh.." Trowa's heart skipped a beat as he heard Quatre's weak groan.
* Art of life
Insane blade stabbing dreams
Try to break all truth now*
Later, Quatre wouldn't be able to recall any detail of this horrific dream. He wouldn't understand why he came to in tears. Why he had a sense of loss and fear. He wouldn't be able to recall why he was so upset when he awoke.
He saw his hand, but something was different about it. Instead of being its usually pale color, the skin on Quatre's hand had been dyed red by blood and in it, there was a shining knife.
"No.." Quatre said quietly.
The room was covered in corpses. There was a dead body to match everyone he'd ever met. His father, Rashid, Sally Po..
And Trowa.
"NO!"
Beside him was the soldier. The one who had began all of this. He was the reason that everything had fallen out of place. It was him.
"Look what you've done," The soldier grinned, "You've killed everyone but yourself. Not a realm devoted to nothingness, but one dedicated to yourself."
'That's right,' Quatre reminded himself, 'I'm a selfish, unworthy person. But this dream is inaccurate. I've only killed myself.'
It was somehow reassuring and yet..
Trowa..
*But I can't heal this broken heart in pain
Cannot start to live, Cannot end my life
Keep on crying*
"QUATRE!"
Quatre lurched into consciousness, knocking his head against the screen again. "Trowa?"
* * *
Trowa would've given anything to be in the cockpit with Quatre at that moment. To hold the gentle blonde in his arms and tell him everything would be all right. To comfort him and yell at him for even thinking of ending his precious, precious life.
But even as he wished, he couldn't do anything but speak to Quatre from a distance. "Just stay there. We'll take you back."
"No.. you can't.." Quatre's voice replied.
Squeezing his hand into a tight fist, Trowa slammed it against the roof of Heavy Arms. "Damn it, Quatre! You have to come back."
Quatre moaned, his voice full of pain, probably from the impact of the shortel entering Sandrock. "I'll just kill you.. Like I killed him.. There wasn't anything else to do but I.. I can't live with that."
"But I can't leave you, Trowa. I can't leave you.."
Quatre's sobs echoed over the communicators. "I don't know what to do!"
'They took her to the cemetery in a black ol' Cadillac,' the memory said in a sing-song voice, 'They took her to the cemetery but they did not bring her back.'
End of Chapter
Please review, if you have the time.
(1) The shortels are those sword-ish weapons Sandrock uses.