Title: Watching and Waiting
Author: Lazuli
Rating: PG
Genre: General
Summary: Angel watches Connor and Cordelia sleep. Post-"Rain of Fire".
Disclaimer: I do not own anything in regards to "Angel". That belongs to Joss Whedon. Joss, baby, give me a call. We need to TALK.
"Watching and Waiting"
It's…too much.
I can't. No, I just. She was breathing, and he was smiling, and they were…moving. And I could smell it on her; I could smell it on both of them. The heat, the desire. The fact that they wanted each other, that they were…drawn.
I love you.
I know I shouldn't. Watching the two of you sleep in each other's arms, his head upon your shoulder, I know I shouldn't be feeling this way about you. But I can't help it. You are my everything. You are my life. I would die a million times to see you smile at me. I would sink to a thousand oceans for the touch of your hand. And as I sit here besides the bed in which you lay, I wonder what would happen if you awoke. I can see it now; your eyes would flutter open, blinking away the dust of sleep. Did you dream? You wouldn't see me at first, but you would notice…him. How his face lay on your skin, his lips damp with your sweat. With your love. Then you'd turn your head. Your eyes would widen. Maybe they would blink a few times, as if you did not trust your own sight.
"Angel?" you'd breathe, rolling my name in your mouth. Would you be scared? Now that your memories have returned, and you've seen me at my worse, would you fear for your life? You needn't to, for you know I would never raise my hand against you. Against both of you. There might have been a time where I would have…No. I don't want to think about that. I don't want to think about him.
What would I do then? Would I smile? Would I frown? My emotions run so jumbled together that I probably could not form a coherent sentence out loud. Maybe I would run, run far away. Run to where those beautiful eyes could no longer haunt me. Those eyes, which kept me from going insane when I was trapped in my prison. God, Cordelia, don't you know? Do you have any idea?
He'd wake up then, of course. He can sense trouble from a mile away, just like his old man. I certainly would know his reaction. Defend his territory, like I do. Any alpha male has to face challengers from time to time. It's as easy as that. He sleeps with a weapon near him, that's good to see. I'd die if anything happened again to my baby. I don't think he realizes how much this is killing me, to see him with her…like this. You called me "Dad" today. What does that mean?
Then, it would turn into the usual scenario, I suppose. Man comes home to find wife in bed with lover; woman jumps up, her eyes and voice pleading. Man just stares in shock, while the lover glares and shifts uncomfortably in his position. She'll try to explain, of course, give the usual reasons.
She told me she loved me.
It's bubbling to the surface, now. I can feel him laughing inside me. That bastard. He knew something like this was bound to happen. And now, he's just begging to be released. Begging for just a few minutes with the both of them. I don't know if I'm powerful enough to stop him.
There's an apocalypse stirring out there. Some of my friends are hurt. Some may be dead. There's a battle that needs to be fought, and no one else can possibly be strong enough to face this evil. I have to get back out there, I need to talk, and I need to plan. Something has to be done to save this world, and I've lived long enough to care about its survival.
But for now, just for now, I'll just sit here. Watching and Waiting.
The End.
May the Gods of ME straighten out this nightmare soon.