Desert Rose
Chapter 10: The Meaning of My Life
Kattie
Disclaimer: I do not own "Art of Life" or Gundam Wing.
Warning: Extreme angst. This chapter may have the most angst yet..even more than the last chapter. More shounen ai than before, but only through emotion and words. It may become more in the next few chapters. Perhaps it makes sense now? Please note that this fanfiction is rated R and this chapter may show more of why.
Dedication: This is still dedicated to Hide. Forever love. bows
*Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?*
"Trowa," Quatre squeaked, "Don't come.."
Ignoring his lover's pleas, Trowa finished dressing himself in the spacesuit by putting on the helmet. "I'm coming, Quatre."
"Please don-AHHHHHHHH!" Quatre's words were cut off by a high-pitched scream of pain. "STOP IT! NOOOOO!" His cries were followed by hysterical sobs and uncomprehendable mutters that only one in such a position could produce.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It burned hotter than any fire Quatre had ever felt. Koe's cold, unreal hands touched Quatre's chest only lightly, and yet it bled profusely. His shirt lay off to one side, ripped in Koe's haste to remove it.
Koe's hands worked around Quatre's chest like a masseuse's, carefully rubbing up and down. He seemed to be writing something. Or maybe making some kind of symbol. Through the pain, Quatre was unable to understand what it was. But he could feel his soul slipping away and the blood seep over the entire surface of his chest before dripping to the puddle it had formed on the ground.
Quatre was vaguely aware that he was saying something, but couldn't understand the words he produced. He didn't want to understand. He just wanted it to end so that he would be sure the pain had stopped.
Koe was smiling at him with the smile of a madman. Or perhaps one who had finally given in to their sadistic desire. His smile showed no teeth and seemed more like a sneer. "You are mine, Quatre." He said.
It didn't make sense to Quatre that he could understand this and not his own words. But, then again, nothing made sense. "NOOOOOOO!" He heard himself scream.
And then he couldn't see. His eyes were no longer able to look upon the world around him. But he could feel.. What? Someone was kissing him. Someone was pressing their lips against his so hard that they felt as if they would soon bleed.
And then they were bleeding.
'Trowa?' Quatre thought briefly. And then he realized who it really was, and the pain tripled.
'This isn't real,' Quatre told himself, 'It's a lie..'
'Stop thinking, Quatre,' Koe said, although it couldn't have been spoken. He must have thought it, and Quatre could now feel even his thoughts. 'You don't need to think of anything anymore. Let me do all of the thinking.'
But Quatre couldn't stop thinking. 'I'm sorry, Trowa,' He cried, mentally, 'Please forgive me for my weakness..'
*I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart*
It was cold. Trowa could feel the coldness of space through his suit as he made his way to Sandrock. He was so set on protecting Quatre that he hadn't even heard the other pilots yelling at him.
He grabbed on to the hatch and hefted himself onto Sandrock's side, pulling at the door with all of his might. It opened relatively easily. The monster with Quatre must have unlocked it.
And then Trowa was inside. His eyes widened as he saw the horror in front of him.
There was blood.. Everywhere. Quatre was bleeding so much. Could anyone survive so much blood loss? "Quatre?" He asked, weakly.
The man-like creature that was forcing Quatre against a wall, hurting him, taking advantage of his pain.. Stealing Quatre's lips, looked up at Trowa and smiled. "I knew you would come, lover boy."
Dropping his hold on Quatre, he allowed the small blonde to fall to the ground and into his own blood. The creature began walking towards Trowa as Trowa's own anger began to grow. The clashing auras seemed to make the space even hotter and soon both of them began to sweat.
'I have to get to Quatre,' Trowa thought, 'If I can just get past this..monster..'
"You can't get past me," The monster said, with a widening grin, "He believes in me."
Trowa looked past the monster to his fallen lover. Quatre's eyes were open but didn't seem to be seeing anything, as if he had gone blind. The deep red continued to spread around him, as if he were lying in a small lake full of red food coloring. "Let him go, you bastard."
The monster seemed to move faster than anything Trowa had ever seen. In a flash, it was next to him, glaring into his eyes. "Perhaps YOU should let him go." Bringing up a fist, the monster threw it towards Trowa, with all of the confidence a person could have.
But then again, it wasn't a person.
And Trowa, strengthened by love and desperation, dodged the punch and ran to his lover's side. "Quatre," Trowa said gently, helping him up into a sitting position, "Are you all right."
Quatre's eyes wandered up to Trowa's and he smiled gently. "Trowa.." His voice said so calmly that it disturbed Trowa, "I love you.." He buried his head in Trowa's chest and wrapped his weakened arms around him.
Slightly taken aback by his words, or perhaps the fact that he was speaking at all, Trowa went stiff for a moment, before embracing Quatre with gentle arms. "It's all right," He said softly, "I won't let him hurt you anymore."
The monster cackled with an insane and evil voice, "It doesn't matter. Even if I left him alone, he'd still die. Look at that blood. Do you think anyone could survive that much loss of blood? He'll die and then he'll be mine forever."
Trowa could hear Quatre begin to whimper, and his grip tightened. "It's all right, Quatre. Everything will be fine."
* Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for *
"Stay here, Quatre," Trowa said, brushing Quatre's face with his hand, "I'll be right back."
"Don't go, Trowa!" Quatre pleaded, "He'll hurt you.."
The monster looked at Quatre and grinned. "You're fading, my dear. Soon we can be together. You won't need this unworthy fool anymore. All you'll have is me. And you will respect me and love me, because there won't be anyone else."
"Don't speak to Quatre!" Trowa snapped. Letting his anger grow greater, he walked to the monster with a death glare ten times stronger than any Hiiro had ever given. He positioned himself directly between Quatre and the monster. "You are going to leave Quatre alone."
"Perhaps you should say that to yourself," The monster replied, walking towards Trowa to meet him, "You have caused him far more pain than I."
"Quiet!" Trowa screamed.
"Your lover is going to die," The monster said mockingly, a smirk firmly placed on his lips, "He's going to die like a dog and then come back with me to Hell. He'll have no need of you anymore."
And then, Trowa was upon him, lashing out with all the strength he had. With hatred and pain, anger and sorrow. This creature would not get away with hurting Quatre. It would pay for touching Quatre, for causing him so much self-hatred, so much sorrow. If this was what had led Quatre to cause himself pain, this was what must die.
It didn't matter if it was already dead. It didn't matter if the monster couldn't be hurt anymore. It sure as Hell was going to go away. With everything he had, Trowa believed this. And so, he continued to punch, kick and even bite.
It was going to die.
In his state of bloodlust, Trowa couldn't see, hear, or feel anything else. He didn't notice his own wounds. He couldn't hear Quatre's cries, the monster's taunts, or the other pilots screaming at him over the communication system. And he couldn't see the creature's mocking smile.
Then again, the monster couldn't see Quatre's hope as it began to build. Nor did it notice his belief, his memories of the horrible past, fade.
End of Chapter
Hm. one or two chapters left. Probably one. Woo hoo! Almost done! ^_^ I hope you've enjoyed it so far.
Oh, by the way, my Birthday's tomorrow so I'll be posting a new chapter of Be My Friend? If you feel inclined to send me a Birthday card (oh, hear the dreams of the foolishly hopeful) my e-mail's Kattie41@aol.com. I'd be super happy if I got even one card ^_^.
Chapter 10: The Meaning of My Life
Kattie
Disclaimer: I do not own "Art of Life" or Gundam Wing.
Warning: Extreme angst. This chapter may have the most angst yet..even more than the last chapter. More shounen ai than before, but only through emotion and words. It may become more in the next few chapters. Perhaps it makes sense now? Please note that this fanfiction is rated R and this chapter may show more of why.
Dedication: This is still dedicated to Hide. Forever love. bows
*Don't know what I am
What lies are truth?
What truths are lies?*
"Trowa," Quatre squeaked, "Don't come.."
Ignoring his lover's pleas, Trowa finished dressing himself in the spacesuit by putting on the helmet. "I'm coming, Quatre."
"Please don-AHHHHHHHH!" Quatre's words were cut off by a high-pitched scream of pain. "STOP IT! NOOOOO!" His cries were followed by hysterical sobs and uncomprehendable mutters that only one in such a position could produce.
* * * * * * * * * * * *
It burned hotter than any fire Quatre had ever felt. Koe's cold, unreal hands touched Quatre's chest only lightly, and yet it bled profusely. His shirt lay off to one side, ripped in Koe's haste to remove it.
Koe's hands worked around Quatre's chest like a masseuse's, carefully rubbing up and down. He seemed to be writing something. Or maybe making some kind of symbol. Through the pain, Quatre was unable to understand what it was. But he could feel his soul slipping away and the blood seep over the entire surface of his chest before dripping to the puddle it had formed on the ground.
Quatre was vaguely aware that he was saying something, but couldn't understand the words he produced. He didn't want to understand. He just wanted it to end so that he would be sure the pain had stopped.
Koe was smiling at him with the smile of a madman. Or perhaps one who had finally given in to their sadistic desire. His smile showed no teeth and seemed more like a sneer. "You are mine, Quatre." He said.
It didn't make sense to Quatre that he could understand this and not his own words. But, then again, nothing made sense. "NOOOOOOO!" He heard himself scream.
And then he couldn't see. His eyes were no longer able to look upon the world around him. But he could feel.. What? Someone was kissing him. Someone was pressing their lips against his so hard that they felt as if they would soon bleed.
And then they were bleeding.
'Trowa?' Quatre thought briefly. And then he realized who it really was, and the pain tripled.
'This isn't real,' Quatre told himself, 'It's a lie..'
'Stop thinking, Quatre,' Koe said, although it couldn't have been spoken. He must have thought it, and Quatre could now feel even his thoughts. 'You don't need to think of anything anymore. Let me do all of the thinking.'
But Quatre couldn't stop thinking. 'I'm sorry, Trowa,' He cried, mentally, 'Please forgive me for my weakness..'
*I believe in the madness called "Now"
Time goes flowing, breaking my heart*
It was cold. Trowa could feel the coldness of space through his suit as he made his way to Sandrock. He was so set on protecting Quatre that he hadn't even heard the other pilots yelling at him.
He grabbed on to the hatch and hefted himself onto Sandrock's side, pulling at the door with all of his might. It opened relatively easily. The monster with Quatre must have unlocked it.
And then Trowa was inside. His eyes widened as he saw the horror in front of him.
There was blood.. Everywhere. Quatre was bleeding so much. Could anyone survive so much blood loss? "Quatre?" He asked, weakly.
The man-like creature that was forcing Quatre against a wall, hurting him, taking advantage of his pain.. Stealing Quatre's lips, looked up at Trowa and smiled. "I knew you would come, lover boy."
Dropping his hold on Quatre, he allowed the small blonde to fall to the ground and into his own blood. The creature began walking towards Trowa as Trowa's own anger began to grow. The clashing auras seemed to make the space even hotter and soon both of them began to sweat.
'I have to get to Quatre,' Trowa thought, 'If I can just get past this..monster..'
"You can't get past me," The monster said, with a widening grin, "He believes in me."
Trowa looked past the monster to his fallen lover. Quatre's eyes were open but didn't seem to be seeing anything, as if he had gone blind. The deep red continued to spread around him, as if he were lying in a small lake full of red food coloring. "Let him go, you bastard."
The monster seemed to move faster than anything Trowa had ever seen. In a flash, it was next to him, glaring into his eyes. "Perhaps YOU should let him go." Bringing up a fist, the monster threw it towards Trowa, with all of the confidence a person could have.
But then again, it wasn't a person.
And Trowa, strengthened by love and desperation, dodged the punch and ran to his lover's side. "Quatre," Trowa said gently, helping him up into a sitting position, "Are you all right."
Quatre's eyes wandered up to Trowa's and he smiled gently. "Trowa.." His voice said so calmly that it disturbed Trowa, "I love you.." He buried his head in Trowa's chest and wrapped his weakened arms around him.
Slightly taken aback by his words, or perhaps the fact that he was speaking at all, Trowa went stiff for a moment, before embracing Quatre with gentle arms. "It's all right," He said softly, "I won't let him hurt you anymore."
The monster cackled with an insane and evil voice, "It doesn't matter. Even if I left him alone, he'd still die. Look at that blood. Do you think anyone could survive that much loss of blood? He'll die and then he'll be mine forever."
Trowa could hear Quatre begin to whimper, and his grip tightened. "It's all right, Quatre. Everything will be fine."
* Wanna live
Can't let my heart kill myself
Still I haven't found what I'm looking for *
"Stay here, Quatre," Trowa said, brushing Quatre's face with his hand, "I'll be right back."
"Don't go, Trowa!" Quatre pleaded, "He'll hurt you.."
The monster looked at Quatre and grinned. "You're fading, my dear. Soon we can be together. You won't need this unworthy fool anymore. All you'll have is me. And you will respect me and love me, because there won't be anyone else."
"Don't speak to Quatre!" Trowa snapped. Letting his anger grow greater, he walked to the monster with a death glare ten times stronger than any Hiiro had ever given. He positioned himself directly between Quatre and the monster. "You are going to leave Quatre alone."
"Perhaps you should say that to yourself," The monster replied, walking towards Trowa to meet him, "You have caused him far more pain than I."
"Quiet!" Trowa screamed.
"Your lover is going to die," The monster said mockingly, a smirk firmly placed on his lips, "He's going to die like a dog and then come back with me to Hell. He'll have no need of you anymore."
And then, Trowa was upon him, lashing out with all the strength he had. With hatred and pain, anger and sorrow. This creature would not get away with hurting Quatre. It would pay for touching Quatre, for causing him so much self-hatred, so much sorrow. If this was what had led Quatre to cause himself pain, this was what must die.
It didn't matter if it was already dead. It didn't matter if the monster couldn't be hurt anymore. It sure as Hell was going to go away. With everything he had, Trowa believed this. And so, he continued to punch, kick and even bite.
It was going to die.
In his state of bloodlust, Trowa couldn't see, hear, or feel anything else. He didn't notice his own wounds. He couldn't hear Quatre's cries, the monster's taunts, or the other pilots screaming at him over the communication system. And he couldn't see the creature's mocking smile.
Then again, the monster couldn't see Quatre's hope as it began to build. Nor did it notice his belief, his memories of the horrible past, fade.
End of Chapter
Hm. one or two chapters left. Probably one. Woo hoo! Almost done! ^_^ I hope you've enjoyed it so far.
Oh, by the way, my Birthday's tomorrow so I'll be posting a new chapter of Be My Friend? If you feel inclined to send me a Birthday card (oh, hear the dreams of the foolishly hopeful) my e-mail's Kattie41@aol.com. I'd be super happy if I got even one card ^_^.