Disclaimer: I do not own "Love Hina" or its characters.
Matchmaker's War
The Box Named Keitaro
Konno "Kitsune" Mitsune could feel her best friend sense tingling. It felt like her best friend had just wished horrible death onto her. She might want to stay away from the Hinata-sou for a couple days, at least until things blow over. Anyways, Kitsune shrugged it off as she waited inside the smoke-filled bar, trying to keep herself calm and sober. Just at that moment, Sakata Kentaro, in all his arrogant glory, sauntered in and pulled up a bar stool next to Kitsune's. "Next time I choose the meeting place," Kentaro said, giving his surroundings a weary look.
"Drop dead, rich boy." Kitsune could not have less patience for anyone than she did for this overbearing self-righteous perverted slacker who just happened to have parents who made the top 100 richest people in Tokyo list. Kitsune liked money, but money made real jerks out of people who never experienced life without it.
Kentaro laughed. He came in ready for a battle of wits, so he thought. "Well, that seems like that odd way to thank the man who got your bit of creative writing published in every newspaper from here to Okinawa."
That thoughtless comment struck a nerve. "For the last time, I did not forge a single word. Naru wrote everything and so did Keitaro. I just filled in the afterword." Kitsune meant it. If she wanted to contribute to society's growing inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy, she would have designed a video game and left Naru and Keitaro out of this. Kitsune had found Naru writing that letter and took the initiative to force Keitaro to read it after she left. Heck, she literally had to pry his eyes open to get him to look at it. Still, he finally filled out his commentary on Naru's little hormone-charged confession and she doctored up the rest.
/That way they know who to name their children after./ Kitsune thought slyly. Kitsune really doubted whether her excessive measures to crack their stubborn hides would pay off, but she had long accepted the maxim that everyone risk something just waking up every morning. Both Keitaro and Naru risked something even more dangerous and reckless than what Kitsune did. They risked never letting the other know how they truly felt about them. Naru's stubborn pride and Keitaro's fear of rejection would team up to ruin a wonderful chance at happiness and Kitsune knew it.
Kentaro had ignored her comment and started to ramble on about the kind of the information the tabloids wanted about Keitaro and Naru. Kitsune had successfully zoned him out and he did not seem to notice.
/Of course,/ Kitsune thought of the reasons for her sudden spark of enthusiasm to bring Keitaro and Naru together. That horrible cave-in of the dig site had left Noriyasu Seta trapped inside the cave. In three day hiatus between thinking he had died and finding out that he lived on survival rations for three days, Kitsune had imagined this scenario happening to everyone she knew. They all hurt to think about, but Naru and Keitaro's example hurt the worst. Easily, Naru could lose her glasses, step off a curb one day and get hit by a bus. Then, neither Keitaro nor Naru would ever have a chance to get to know each other's feelings for the other. Almost beaten down by this bleak epiphany, Kitsune regained her confidence and set out on her greatest campaign yet to bring Keitaro and Naru together.
People cry, people live, people die. Kitsune figured this out a long time ago, but now she knew what people needed to deal with it all. They needed someone to do all the crying, living and dying with, someone who would stand by them through the good times and the bad, and pledge to their strength to each other in their times of need. Kitsune laughed at herself and that interrupted Kentaro. Little by little, the events of that week had turned her from a burn-out cynic into a born-again romantic.
"So, the tabloids want to get a little background on Keitaro and Naru. Now, I supplied them with everything I know about Naru, but I know very little about Keitaro. They wondered if you could fill in the details. You remember the deal, right?" Kitsune remembered the deal and told Kentaro that she did.
Relaxed now in this smoke-filled bar, Kentaro switched on a tape recorder and held it up to Kitsune. Kitsune sweat dropped. A week ago, someone asked her to describe Keitaro, she would have said idiot and left them scratching their skulls. But now, Kitsune realized they wanted to know a lot about Keitaro as an author of a love letter. Kitsune cleared her throat. "Okay, to understand Urashima Keitaro, you need to know about this promise he made fifteen years ago. Anyways, this girl came out of nowhere and told him about …"
***
Keitaro felt his promise sense tingling. It felt like Kitsune had just told someone about the promise he made fifteen years ago to attend Toudai with an old childhood sweetheart and find eternal happiness. While his promise sense could not (or would not) reveal the identity of the promise girl to him after fifteen years of trying, Keitaro still trusted it and expected to find the promise on the newspaper stands the following day. As Keitaro contemplated the nature of his extrasensory perception of the promise, Keitaro wondered why he never thought of publishing an ad to find his promise girl. In theory, it might work if she had moved back to Tokyo in the last fifteen years.
/It happens,/ Keitaro reminded himself hopefully.
Keitaro watched as Naru handed him a box. Keitaro could see his first name written on the top of the box in a flowing calligraphy, as if crafted by an artist. The box had wrapping paper on top of it, it looked very well done. "How did Kitsune do all this by herself?"
Narusegawa turned her head to see the weird sight of Shinobu whistling innocently to herself and avoiding eye contact with Narusegawa. "Easy, Keitaro. She didn't. She had help." Keitaro's eyes bulged as Shinobu straightened up suddenly and kept looking back and forth between Narusegawa and Keitaro, sweat-dropping the whole time. "Shinobu, you didn't." As Narusegawa took her accusing gaze to a whole new level, Keitaro finally caught up with her observations as he looked at the exquisite wrapping job on the box again. It all made sense now.
"Did you know what she had in this box?" Keitaro wanted to know just what part Shinobu had played in this one-way trip for two to the Twilight Zone.
"Well," Shinobu began, taking a seat on the couch. "She had the box packed already and it looked just awful. It had tape and crumbled paper sticking out everywhere and it had your name on it, sempai. So, I thought she needed help wrapping some gift for you, so I offered to help her."
Shinobu paused. "Why? What happened?" Like two parents ready to give their child the talk, Keitaro and Narusegawa wondered how much they should show and tell about these strange events. On one hand, she still had not finished junior high and perhaps, she shouldn't hear about these things until she got to Naru's age --- in about three years. On the other hand, she sort of ran the Hinata-sou single-handedly and if anyone deserved to know everything that happened under this roof, Shinobu did.
Narusegawa pulled Keitaro aside and held out her hand. Keitaro shot her a confused look. "Idiot," she said. She turned her hand into a rock, then a paper, and then a pair of scissors. "Rock-paper-scissors, I win, we don't tell Shinobu … yet. You win, we tell her everything." Three shakes and Naru and Keitaro drew.
***
/Rock breaks scissors. Beginner's luck,/ Naru brooded as Keitaro handed Shinobu the newspaper. Naru used to play this game all the time as a child. Now, she remembered why she had quit. /Next time, don't throw scissors,/ she scolded herself as Shinobu finished the love letter.
Shinobu's eyes made swirling patterns before she passed out onto the couch. Naru and Keitaro drew a sheet over the unconscious Shinobu. Naru wondered if Keitaro and her would ever have a child as well-behaved and pleasant as Shinobu.
/What the heck?/ Naru felt like hitting herself in the head. /Hey, stop that, brain. I do not want to have this pervert's children. I don't want anything to do with him, you hear me?/ As Naru fought an epic battle against her rebellious brain, Keitaro said something she only imagined ever hearing from Keitaro.
"Hey, Naru, want to go on a date?"
Naru felt the ground vanish from under her as she heard those words. Like Keitaro stuck between his real life and one of his many fantasy lives, Naru could not believe her ears. "Well, I guess we could try. I mean, why not? Kitsune went to a lot of work to get us together, so maybe we should just try it out. Just don't do anything perverted." Naru turned to walk away.
"Good," Keitaro said, pointing to the box named Keitaro he had just opened. "Because Kitsune rented us a limo and got us reservations at one of the finest restaurants in Tokyo. And look." Keitaro held up a fist full of yen, a goofy smile planted on his face. "Money!"
Narusegawa scratched her head. How did Kitsune pull this off? No matter, Narusegawa waited for Keitaro to leave. As he left, Narusegawa came back in doing cartwheels across the wooden floors, celebrating this historical moment in her life. Tonight, she would have her first date. Her first date with Urashima Keitaro.
The sound of someone giggling their heart out snapped Naru out of her improvised happy dance. She looked back and saw Shinobu, still asleep, but now with a smile on her face. /Smiles look good on Shinobu,/ Naru noticed. /She should smile more often./
Naru tucked in Shinobu's sheets and kissed her on the cheek.
"Sleep tight."
-----
Matchmaker's War
The Box Named Keitaro
Konno "Kitsune" Mitsune could feel her best friend sense tingling. It felt like her best friend had just wished horrible death onto her. She might want to stay away from the Hinata-sou for a couple days, at least until things blow over. Anyways, Kitsune shrugged it off as she waited inside the smoke-filled bar, trying to keep herself calm and sober. Just at that moment, Sakata Kentaro, in all his arrogant glory, sauntered in and pulled up a bar stool next to Kitsune's. "Next time I choose the meeting place," Kentaro said, giving his surroundings a weary look.
"Drop dead, rich boy." Kitsune could not have less patience for anyone than she did for this overbearing self-righteous perverted slacker who just happened to have parents who made the top 100 richest people in Tokyo list. Kitsune liked money, but money made real jerks out of people who never experienced life without it.
Kentaro laughed. He came in ready for a battle of wits, so he thought. "Well, that seems like that odd way to thank the man who got your bit of creative writing published in every newspaper from here to Okinawa."
That thoughtless comment struck a nerve. "For the last time, I did not forge a single word. Naru wrote everything and so did Keitaro. I just filled in the afterword." Kitsune meant it. If she wanted to contribute to society's growing inability to distinguish between reality and fantasy, she would have designed a video game and left Naru and Keitaro out of this. Kitsune had found Naru writing that letter and took the initiative to force Keitaro to read it after she left. Heck, she literally had to pry his eyes open to get him to look at it. Still, he finally filled out his commentary on Naru's little hormone-charged confession and she doctored up the rest.
/That way they know who to name their children after./ Kitsune thought slyly. Kitsune really doubted whether her excessive measures to crack their stubborn hides would pay off, but she had long accepted the maxim that everyone risk something just waking up every morning. Both Keitaro and Naru risked something even more dangerous and reckless than what Kitsune did. They risked never letting the other know how they truly felt about them. Naru's stubborn pride and Keitaro's fear of rejection would team up to ruin a wonderful chance at happiness and Kitsune knew it.
Kentaro had ignored her comment and started to ramble on about the kind of the information the tabloids wanted about Keitaro and Naru. Kitsune had successfully zoned him out and he did not seem to notice.
/Of course,/ Kitsune thought of the reasons for her sudden spark of enthusiasm to bring Keitaro and Naru together. That horrible cave-in of the dig site had left Noriyasu Seta trapped inside the cave. In three day hiatus between thinking he had died and finding out that he lived on survival rations for three days, Kitsune had imagined this scenario happening to everyone she knew. They all hurt to think about, but Naru and Keitaro's example hurt the worst. Easily, Naru could lose her glasses, step off a curb one day and get hit by a bus. Then, neither Keitaro nor Naru would ever have a chance to get to know each other's feelings for the other. Almost beaten down by this bleak epiphany, Kitsune regained her confidence and set out on her greatest campaign yet to bring Keitaro and Naru together.
People cry, people live, people die. Kitsune figured this out a long time ago, but now she knew what people needed to deal with it all. They needed someone to do all the crying, living and dying with, someone who would stand by them through the good times and the bad, and pledge to their strength to each other in their times of need. Kitsune laughed at herself and that interrupted Kentaro. Little by little, the events of that week had turned her from a burn-out cynic into a born-again romantic.
"So, the tabloids want to get a little background on Keitaro and Naru. Now, I supplied them with everything I know about Naru, but I know very little about Keitaro. They wondered if you could fill in the details. You remember the deal, right?" Kitsune remembered the deal and told Kentaro that she did.
Relaxed now in this smoke-filled bar, Kentaro switched on a tape recorder and held it up to Kitsune. Kitsune sweat dropped. A week ago, someone asked her to describe Keitaro, she would have said idiot and left them scratching their skulls. But now, Kitsune realized they wanted to know a lot about Keitaro as an author of a love letter. Kitsune cleared her throat. "Okay, to understand Urashima Keitaro, you need to know about this promise he made fifteen years ago. Anyways, this girl came out of nowhere and told him about …"
***
Keitaro felt his promise sense tingling. It felt like Kitsune had just told someone about the promise he made fifteen years ago to attend Toudai with an old childhood sweetheart and find eternal happiness. While his promise sense could not (or would not) reveal the identity of the promise girl to him after fifteen years of trying, Keitaro still trusted it and expected to find the promise on the newspaper stands the following day. As Keitaro contemplated the nature of his extrasensory perception of the promise, Keitaro wondered why he never thought of publishing an ad to find his promise girl. In theory, it might work if she had moved back to Tokyo in the last fifteen years.
/It happens,/ Keitaro reminded himself hopefully.
Keitaro watched as Naru handed him a box. Keitaro could see his first name written on the top of the box in a flowing calligraphy, as if crafted by an artist. The box had wrapping paper on top of it, it looked very well done. "How did Kitsune do all this by herself?"
Narusegawa turned her head to see the weird sight of Shinobu whistling innocently to herself and avoiding eye contact with Narusegawa. "Easy, Keitaro. She didn't. She had help." Keitaro's eyes bulged as Shinobu straightened up suddenly and kept looking back and forth between Narusegawa and Keitaro, sweat-dropping the whole time. "Shinobu, you didn't." As Narusegawa took her accusing gaze to a whole new level, Keitaro finally caught up with her observations as he looked at the exquisite wrapping job on the box again. It all made sense now.
"Did you know what she had in this box?" Keitaro wanted to know just what part Shinobu had played in this one-way trip for two to the Twilight Zone.
"Well," Shinobu began, taking a seat on the couch. "She had the box packed already and it looked just awful. It had tape and crumbled paper sticking out everywhere and it had your name on it, sempai. So, I thought she needed help wrapping some gift for you, so I offered to help her."
Shinobu paused. "Why? What happened?" Like two parents ready to give their child the talk, Keitaro and Narusegawa wondered how much they should show and tell about these strange events. On one hand, she still had not finished junior high and perhaps, she shouldn't hear about these things until she got to Naru's age --- in about three years. On the other hand, she sort of ran the Hinata-sou single-handedly and if anyone deserved to know everything that happened under this roof, Shinobu did.
Narusegawa pulled Keitaro aside and held out her hand. Keitaro shot her a confused look. "Idiot," she said. She turned her hand into a rock, then a paper, and then a pair of scissors. "Rock-paper-scissors, I win, we don't tell Shinobu … yet. You win, we tell her everything." Three shakes and Naru and Keitaro drew.
***
/Rock breaks scissors. Beginner's luck,/ Naru brooded as Keitaro handed Shinobu the newspaper. Naru used to play this game all the time as a child. Now, she remembered why she had quit. /Next time, don't throw scissors,/ she scolded herself as Shinobu finished the love letter.
Shinobu's eyes made swirling patterns before she passed out onto the couch. Naru and Keitaro drew a sheet over the unconscious Shinobu. Naru wondered if Keitaro and her would ever have a child as well-behaved and pleasant as Shinobu.
/What the heck?/ Naru felt like hitting herself in the head. /Hey, stop that, brain. I do not want to have this pervert's children. I don't want anything to do with him, you hear me?/ As Naru fought an epic battle against her rebellious brain, Keitaro said something she only imagined ever hearing from Keitaro.
"Hey, Naru, want to go on a date?"
Naru felt the ground vanish from under her as she heard those words. Like Keitaro stuck between his real life and one of his many fantasy lives, Naru could not believe her ears. "Well, I guess we could try. I mean, why not? Kitsune went to a lot of work to get us together, so maybe we should just try it out. Just don't do anything perverted." Naru turned to walk away.
"Good," Keitaro said, pointing to the box named Keitaro he had just opened. "Because Kitsune rented us a limo and got us reservations at one of the finest restaurants in Tokyo. And look." Keitaro held up a fist full of yen, a goofy smile planted on his face. "Money!"
Narusegawa scratched her head. How did Kitsune pull this off? No matter, Narusegawa waited for Keitaro to leave. As he left, Narusegawa came back in doing cartwheels across the wooden floors, celebrating this historical moment in her life. Tonight, she would have her first date. Her first date with Urashima Keitaro.
The sound of someone giggling their heart out snapped Naru out of her improvised happy dance. She looked back and saw Shinobu, still asleep, but now with a smile on her face. /Smiles look good on Shinobu,/ Naru noticed. /She should smile more often./
Naru tucked in Shinobu's sheets and kissed her on the cheek.
"Sleep tight."
-----