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I stared over the balcony, lost in a daze. Night loomed heavily upon the forest, even from this perch in the side of the mountain. Torchlights glimmered faintly below the heavy foliage, echoing the waning stars in the sky above. The air was clear and sweet, faint wisps of clouds dotting the horizon as early morning sent its tendrils along the sky. A barely perceptible breeze moved along the mountain, sending a whisper through the leaves.
"You hold a silver tongue within that innocent face. Why did you speak to my father so?"
Turning swiftly, I saw Legolas round the corner of the doorway, a shadow in the night. I sighed as he gazed at me somewhat tiredly, partly defeated. "I have been withdrawn and mute to many things in life; some hold truth, others do not. I would not allow your father to pass judgment without full knowledge of why you chose me."
He remained silent, eyes watching me as if in a daze. There was a strange shadow marring his features, a somber demeanor that weighed upon him. No smile passed his lips. I wondered at how he stood so quietly and what his mind said.
At last, I said, "Would you rather I remain silent and allow him to discredit you before your own people? He seemed little concerned with the truth until I spoke."
"He is my father and my king, Andariel." Legolas stood tall suddenly, gazing down at me with blank eyes. "What he says I must hear, for good or ill."
I stared at him, forcing my mouth to keep from falling open. "Do you mean to say you believe he spoke fairly?" I asked carefully.
"No, of course not. He was most cruel in addressing you so. Why did you bring our child into this? I have buried the grief that has festered within me since his death, yet it is a delicate seed here. There are many ears who will whisper to others in the court. Like it or not, I am future heir to this kingdom, and idle gossip can have its undue influence."
My eyes began to burn as I looked at him, a tight knot forming in my throat. "Are you so petty as to listen to courtly gossip? So vain as to think so highly of your status when you were so agreeable to relinquishing your title before? It was my child too, and it nearly killed me! I believe your father had a right to hear of such things, good or ill."
"You do not understand the ways of our people!" he snapped, then leaned against the doorway, eyes growing distant. "My father does not take kindly to strangers declaring such bold things in his presence, for he does not take kindly to his own son speaking of his life's course. He holds me in great disregard because I have abandoned the traditions of our people to such a degree he would nearly die before forgive me."
For several long minutes I could find no words as I resisted angry tears that threatened to spring forward. "I do not know you," I whispered, shaking my head slowly. "You are not the same elf who spoke so sweetly to me when we first met, or even a few hours ago. You are greatly changed here in your home by a father who has crippled you with responsibilities and duties."
He raised his eyes slowly to meet mine, and I saw they were filled with deep sorrow, glistening brightly in the starlight and waning moonlight. The grief he wore was a blanket upon his countenance, singeing his spirit. Unmoving, he whispered, "Forgive me, Andariel. My father's words are a poison to my heart and I strike out at you without cause."
Pursing my lips tightly, I turned away to stare out over the great forest once again, suddenly grateful for the dark curtain of night. The daggers of his words pierced my heart deeply, the knot in my throat so large I felt I had swallowed a stone. "You are changed and disheartened, Legolas," I said softly. "Would you prefer I said nothing and was a demure woman, allowing your father to berate you accordingly? If you take his words so seriously, perhaps you would prefer to make other arrangements. I need not abandon my own life to conform to the expectations of those who hold me close only to chastise me."
After several moments of silence, I felt the warmth of his body behind me, and his hands set upon my waist. "No, pen-neth, I would have you no other way than what you are, and I will not forsake you regardless of what he says." He sighed heavily, leaning his chin on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me fully. "You are all of life to me. I do not feel the beauty of the forest without your presence."
"Then why do you speak so?" I asked, still fighting back tears.
"My father has often pressured me to take an Elven bride early in life, and I resisted, believing there was a spirit I had yet to discover in the world. He has spent long years planning my future and preparing me to take my place in the court. I have strived to attain my father's vision, yet all too often I have heard that I languish my days elsewhere while whispers are spread. I do not wish to break his heart by rejecting him completely, though he does not comprehend my true desires."
"And what are your true desires?"
Softly kissing my shoulder, Legolas replied, "To start a family of my own with the one woman who holds my heart. There can be room for only one, and I have found all I require. I care nothing for the complexities of the court, save in remote interest. My future holds more simple plans."
A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I held his arms close. My heart had slowed to resume its normal beat as I realized the difficult position he held. Caught between me and the duties he owed to his land as well as his father, how could he not feel the strain of demanded duty and responsibility?
"I do not understand your people," I admitted, "though I thought I understood you. It seems being home brings to light new sides of you, Legolas. You stand precariously between a field and a cliff, demanded by all to be who you are. I will cause you no further embarrassment, my Prince."
Turning in his arms to face him at last, I smiled weakly, suddenly weary with high emotions and taut muscles.
His eyes had calmed, sinking from apathy to concern and contemplation. His cheeks twitched as he said, "You are no embarrassment, melamin. You simply found the voice to say what I could not. I envy you in that you are not bound by the expectations of a powerful father nor a will to please all at the expense of one so closely kept, a cost perhaps greater than I am willing to allow." He kissed my forehead, remaining in place for some time.
When he pulled away, I said, "I think I shall retire. Sleep claws at me like a predator. Perhaps tomorrow I will see more of the forest."
Nodding slightly, Legolas said, "May I escort you to your room? I am restless and will wander the palace still yet this night."
"Of course."
The morning light shone clearly through the trees as Ithiel and I walked out of the palace and into the emerald green of the forest. I observed the activity of daily life within Mirkwood, of men and women working steadily to wash and dry clothes, watch the excited children running silently amidst the trees, chopping wood, and holding animated conversations among themselves. I had rarely seen such activity among the other Elves, though they had lived in different atmospheres. The Elves of Mirkwood reminded me greatly of my own people, living quietly within their borders, attending to daily life. The simplicity of a satisfying life reflected in their faces and gentle smiles.
"This place is more soothing than I would have imagine," I said thoughtfully, relishing the warm breeze that whispered over my bare arms, which I covered instinctively with my hands.
"It is indeed, my Lady," Ithiel replied, glancing at me curiously. "Do you wish for a wrap, Andariel?"
Catching her eye, I shook my head. "No. I must learn to accept my flaws, and it is too warm out here to cover up entirely."
She nodded slowly. "You are right, Lady. It pleases me to see you in such spirits. It warms my heart to see your happiness grow daily since last I saw you."
"The spirit of the earth warms me with each new place I visit. I wonder if I will truly be the same again, though."
The she-elf smiled, her dark hair wafting gently on the breeze. "You are constantly changing who you are as you live. Who you are today is different than who you were one year ago--not a harmful change, but constant."
Her words made sense as I walked deeper into the woods. "Why did you choose to serve me, Ithiel? There is little extraordinary about me, and I am not yet wed. Why do you not desire to journey to the Gray Havens?"
For several moments, Ithiel merely smiled secretively. At last she answered, "I am content to live in Middle Earth, and I find there are many reasons to remain here. While I will greatly miss many of whom will depart these shores, I find contentment among such close friends such as yourself. I desired to serve you so I may remain close to you. I admire your life, my Lady, how you have constantly adapted to whatever situation you have been thrown into. Lady Galadriel was gracious enough to honor my request not only to remain behind, but to become your maidservant. I care for you deeply, Lady Andariel. It is my honor to serve you and Legolas."
I smiled, warmth spreading through my body at her kindness and sincerity. I reached over and gently locked my arm through hers, leaning my head against her shoulder. Looking up into her eyes, I said, "You are truly a wonder of your kind, Ithiel. I am grateful that you are so true a friend." After a moment, I added, "I wish Galain would remain as well. She was the first friend I found when I awoke in Rivendell, and she will depart for the Havens."
I felt her sigh lightly, leaning her head against mine. "Alas, each elf must make their own decision about whether to remain or not. Many will linger, but most will depart. I believe many feel their time is expired and there is little need for them to remain. Still, I hope my presence will be of some comfort."
"Of course it is. I desire you to take such care of any children I have later, and you can tell them of the wonderful things of this past age."
"Should you and Legolas have children, it would be my honor."
We strode into a glade on the outskirts of the Elven village. The hill sloped downward softly into great tufts of silky grass surrounding tall lightly-colored trees that ran downward to a clear pond that sparkled in the sun, beckoning to those who approached. All of summer's grace was held in the bright golden and multicolored flowers waving delicately in the air, stretching onward into a vast field of tall grass. I watched silently as birdsong rose through the air as the wind rose, carrying the tantalizing scents of rosemary, lilies, and a multitude of other smells that drifted pleasantly around my nostrils.
"Look," I breathed. "It's so beautiful!"
Ithiel broke into a wide smile, clasping my arm tightly. "Let us go see closer!"
Hand in hand we ran down the hill and towards the pond. When we reached the edge of the pool, we stood still, awed at this place. I ran my hands through the tall flowers that stretched upward, basking in the glow of the sun's rays. Breathing deeply, I stepped closer to the water, listening to the gentle lapping on the ground.
"I wish Legolas had spoken more of places such as this when he beckoned me come here," I grinned. "Suddenly the rest of Mirkwood does not seem so dark and frightening."
Sitting upon the ground, Ithiel brushed her hair out behind her until it lingered with the flowers. "You see, my Lady, it is places such as this that bind my heart to Middle Earth."
I gazed upon my reflection in the crystal pool, studying how pure and fragile I seemed. The sleeveless gown of bright blue sparkled in the light, exposing my arms and my throat to the world. Long pink scars still decorated my flesh, harsh reminders of dark times. My hair was slowly growing back, becoming thick and wavy once again around my shoulders. My body had gained a strength I had lacked growing up, conforming to the rough lifestyle of the past year, traveling constantly and fighting battles. The scrawniness of my body was faded, though not forgotten; every part of me held a reminder of the sorrows that had faded into shadow.
"What are your thoughts, Lady?"
Startled out of my daze, I answered softly, "I was merely thinking how greatly I am changed, yet still there are many signs of the dark times. I think of Legolas and how strange he is here, different among his own people. My heart belongs to him, though I wonder if it will be denied."
Ithiel gazed at me with soothing eyes, a faint smile gracing her delicate features. "Do not trouble your mind so. Legolas has proclaimed himself to you countless times and even in the face of his father he will not deny you. You must realize that Thranduil is of the old ways, secluded in this place, and he expects his son to do the same."
Nodding, I replied, "I realized the consequences of our relationship when I discovered he was a prince. Still, I suppose I refused to see many things we would have to face. The King is much different than other Elven Lords."
"Aye, that he is. Still, do not abandon hope, my Lady. Many things change, and I believe he has much on his mind."
I stared over the balcony, lost in a daze. Night loomed heavily upon the forest, even from this perch in the side of the mountain. Torchlights glimmered faintly below the heavy foliage, echoing the waning stars in the sky above. The air was clear and sweet, faint wisps of clouds dotting the horizon as early morning sent its tendrils along the sky. A barely perceptible breeze moved along the mountain, sending a whisper through the leaves.
"You hold a silver tongue within that innocent face. Why did you speak to my father so?"
Turning swiftly, I saw Legolas round the corner of the doorway, a shadow in the night. I sighed as he gazed at me somewhat tiredly, partly defeated. "I have been withdrawn and mute to many things in life; some hold truth, others do not. I would not allow your father to pass judgment without full knowledge of why you chose me."
He remained silent, eyes watching me as if in a daze. There was a strange shadow marring his features, a somber demeanor that weighed upon him. No smile passed his lips. I wondered at how he stood so quietly and what his mind said.
At last, I said, "Would you rather I remain silent and allow him to discredit you before your own people? He seemed little concerned with the truth until I spoke."
"He is my father and my king, Andariel." Legolas stood tall suddenly, gazing down at me with blank eyes. "What he says I must hear, for good or ill."
I stared at him, forcing my mouth to keep from falling open. "Do you mean to say you believe he spoke fairly?" I asked carefully.
"No, of course not. He was most cruel in addressing you so. Why did you bring our child into this? I have buried the grief that has festered within me since his death, yet it is a delicate seed here. There are many ears who will whisper to others in the court. Like it or not, I am future heir to this kingdom, and idle gossip can have its undue influence."
My eyes began to burn as I looked at him, a tight knot forming in my throat. "Are you so petty as to listen to courtly gossip? So vain as to think so highly of your status when you were so agreeable to relinquishing your title before? It was my child too, and it nearly killed me! I believe your father had a right to hear of such things, good or ill."
"You do not understand the ways of our people!" he snapped, then leaned against the doorway, eyes growing distant. "My father does not take kindly to strangers declaring such bold things in his presence, for he does not take kindly to his own son speaking of his life's course. He holds me in great disregard because I have abandoned the traditions of our people to such a degree he would nearly die before forgive me."
For several long minutes I could find no words as I resisted angry tears that threatened to spring forward. "I do not know you," I whispered, shaking my head slowly. "You are not the same elf who spoke so sweetly to me when we first met, or even a few hours ago. You are greatly changed here in your home by a father who has crippled you with responsibilities and duties."
He raised his eyes slowly to meet mine, and I saw they were filled with deep sorrow, glistening brightly in the starlight and waning moonlight. The grief he wore was a blanket upon his countenance, singeing his spirit. Unmoving, he whispered, "Forgive me, Andariel. My father's words are a poison to my heart and I strike out at you without cause."
Pursing my lips tightly, I turned away to stare out over the great forest once again, suddenly grateful for the dark curtain of night. The daggers of his words pierced my heart deeply, the knot in my throat so large I felt I had swallowed a stone. "You are changed and disheartened, Legolas," I said softly. "Would you prefer I said nothing and was a demure woman, allowing your father to berate you accordingly? If you take his words so seriously, perhaps you would prefer to make other arrangements. I need not abandon my own life to conform to the expectations of those who hold me close only to chastise me."
After several moments of silence, I felt the warmth of his body behind me, and his hands set upon my waist. "No, pen-neth, I would have you no other way than what you are, and I will not forsake you regardless of what he says." He sighed heavily, leaning his chin on my shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me fully. "You are all of life to me. I do not feel the beauty of the forest without your presence."
"Then why do you speak so?" I asked, still fighting back tears.
"My father has often pressured me to take an Elven bride early in life, and I resisted, believing there was a spirit I had yet to discover in the world. He has spent long years planning my future and preparing me to take my place in the court. I have strived to attain my father's vision, yet all too often I have heard that I languish my days elsewhere while whispers are spread. I do not wish to break his heart by rejecting him completely, though he does not comprehend my true desires."
"And what are your true desires?"
Softly kissing my shoulder, Legolas replied, "To start a family of my own with the one woman who holds my heart. There can be room for only one, and I have found all I require. I care nothing for the complexities of the court, save in remote interest. My future holds more simple plans."
A sigh of relief escaped my lips as I held his arms close. My heart had slowed to resume its normal beat as I realized the difficult position he held. Caught between me and the duties he owed to his land as well as his father, how could he not feel the strain of demanded duty and responsibility?
"I do not understand your people," I admitted, "though I thought I understood you. It seems being home brings to light new sides of you, Legolas. You stand precariously between a field and a cliff, demanded by all to be who you are. I will cause you no further embarrassment, my Prince."
Turning in his arms to face him at last, I smiled weakly, suddenly weary with high emotions and taut muscles.
His eyes had calmed, sinking from apathy to concern and contemplation. His cheeks twitched as he said, "You are no embarrassment, melamin. You simply found the voice to say what I could not. I envy you in that you are not bound by the expectations of a powerful father nor a will to please all at the expense of one so closely kept, a cost perhaps greater than I am willing to allow." He kissed my forehead, remaining in place for some time.
When he pulled away, I said, "I think I shall retire. Sleep claws at me like a predator. Perhaps tomorrow I will see more of the forest."
Nodding slightly, Legolas said, "May I escort you to your room? I am restless and will wander the palace still yet this night."
"Of course."
The morning light shone clearly through the trees as Ithiel and I walked out of the palace and into the emerald green of the forest. I observed the activity of daily life within Mirkwood, of men and women working steadily to wash and dry clothes, watch the excited children running silently amidst the trees, chopping wood, and holding animated conversations among themselves. I had rarely seen such activity among the other Elves, though they had lived in different atmospheres. The Elves of Mirkwood reminded me greatly of my own people, living quietly within their borders, attending to daily life. The simplicity of a satisfying life reflected in their faces and gentle smiles.
"This place is more soothing than I would have imagine," I said thoughtfully, relishing the warm breeze that whispered over my bare arms, which I covered instinctively with my hands.
"It is indeed, my Lady," Ithiel replied, glancing at me curiously. "Do you wish for a wrap, Andariel?"
Catching her eye, I shook my head. "No. I must learn to accept my flaws, and it is too warm out here to cover up entirely."
She nodded slowly. "You are right, Lady. It pleases me to see you in such spirits. It warms my heart to see your happiness grow daily since last I saw you."
"The spirit of the earth warms me with each new place I visit. I wonder if I will truly be the same again, though."
The she-elf smiled, her dark hair wafting gently on the breeze. "You are constantly changing who you are as you live. Who you are today is different than who you were one year ago--not a harmful change, but constant."
Her words made sense as I walked deeper into the woods. "Why did you choose to serve me, Ithiel? There is little extraordinary about me, and I am not yet wed. Why do you not desire to journey to the Gray Havens?"
For several moments, Ithiel merely smiled secretively. At last she answered, "I am content to live in Middle Earth, and I find there are many reasons to remain here. While I will greatly miss many of whom will depart these shores, I find contentment among such close friends such as yourself. I desired to serve you so I may remain close to you. I admire your life, my Lady, how you have constantly adapted to whatever situation you have been thrown into. Lady Galadriel was gracious enough to honor my request not only to remain behind, but to become your maidservant. I care for you deeply, Lady Andariel. It is my honor to serve you and Legolas."
I smiled, warmth spreading through my body at her kindness and sincerity. I reached over and gently locked my arm through hers, leaning my head against her shoulder. Looking up into her eyes, I said, "You are truly a wonder of your kind, Ithiel. I am grateful that you are so true a friend." After a moment, I added, "I wish Galain would remain as well. She was the first friend I found when I awoke in Rivendell, and she will depart for the Havens."
I felt her sigh lightly, leaning her head against mine. "Alas, each elf must make their own decision about whether to remain or not. Many will linger, but most will depart. I believe many feel their time is expired and there is little need for them to remain. Still, I hope my presence will be of some comfort."
"Of course it is. I desire you to take such care of any children I have later, and you can tell them of the wonderful things of this past age."
"Should you and Legolas have children, it would be my honor."
We strode into a glade on the outskirts of the Elven village. The hill sloped downward softly into great tufts of silky grass surrounding tall lightly-colored trees that ran downward to a clear pond that sparkled in the sun, beckoning to those who approached. All of summer's grace was held in the bright golden and multicolored flowers waving delicately in the air, stretching onward into a vast field of tall grass. I watched silently as birdsong rose through the air as the wind rose, carrying the tantalizing scents of rosemary, lilies, and a multitude of other smells that drifted pleasantly around my nostrils.
"Look," I breathed. "It's so beautiful!"
Ithiel broke into a wide smile, clasping my arm tightly. "Let us go see closer!"
Hand in hand we ran down the hill and towards the pond. When we reached the edge of the pool, we stood still, awed at this place. I ran my hands through the tall flowers that stretched upward, basking in the glow of the sun's rays. Breathing deeply, I stepped closer to the water, listening to the gentle lapping on the ground.
"I wish Legolas had spoken more of places such as this when he beckoned me come here," I grinned. "Suddenly the rest of Mirkwood does not seem so dark and frightening."
Sitting upon the ground, Ithiel brushed her hair out behind her until it lingered with the flowers. "You see, my Lady, it is places such as this that bind my heart to Middle Earth."
I gazed upon my reflection in the crystal pool, studying how pure and fragile I seemed. The sleeveless gown of bright blue sparkled in the light, exposing my arms and my throat to the world. Long pink scars still decorated my flesh, harsh reminders of dark times. My hair was slowly growing back, becoming thick and wavy once again around my shoulders. My body had gained a strength I had lacked growing up, conforming to the rough lifestyle of the past year, traveling constantly and fighting battles. The scrawniness of my body was faded, though not forgotten; every part of me held a reminder of the sorrows that had faded into shadow.
"What are your thoughts, Lady?"
Startled out of my daze, I answered softly, "I was merely thinking how greatly I am changed, yet still there are many signs of the dark times. I think of Legolas and how strange he is here, different among his own people. My heart belongs to him, though I wonder if it will be denied."
Ithiel gazed at me with soothing eyes, a faint smile gracing her delicate features. "Do not trouble your mind so. Legolas has proclaimed himself to you countless times and even in the face of his father he will not deny you. You must realize that Thranduil is of the old ways, secluded in this place, and he expects his son to do the same."
Nodding, I replied, "I realized the consequences of our relationship when I discovered he was a prince. Still, I suppose I refused to see many things we would have to face. The King is much different than other Elven Lords."
"Aye, that he is. Still, do not abandon hope, my Lady. Many things change, and I believe he has much on his mind."