Another part is typed and ready to be viewed. I've had this since I posted chapter 3 but I'm lazy. A-Chan Yuy is now co-writing this fic with me so don't forget to give her the credit she deserves in your reviews! Here's the part where I reply to feedback: I have only one review! Thank you silvertoekee for reviewing and letting me know you're interested in this story, this chapter is for you. This is a problem people, no feedback no story! I will put this story on hold unless I get more feedback! I need to know that people are still reading. Here's a whole chapter devoted just to Kenshin and Sano interaction, I hope this makes you happy Kitsune_chan cause the way feedback is going you may not see any K&S action for a long time. But as promised one long (er) Kenshin and Sano chapter. Okay, now for the disclaimer: I do not own Rurouni Kenshin; it belongs to its respective companies. I am a high school student; you sue me you'll get squat and a bill for legal fees. Now for the warnings: This will be yaoi/ shonen ai, which means male/male relationships, GAY! I will not tolerate flames from people about Kenshin's sexuality, it's my fic and he'll be what I damn well please. I've screwed around with ages and such so just ignore any age changes or original story changes; trust me there's a reason I did it. If you're still with me enjoy, and please comment because I need encouragement to write. I mean that seriously too, any delays are because of lack of motivation; I do have these parts written out within two days of each posting. Do let me know if I go overboard I can get a little lost in my writing at times. Beware the POV changes often and without much warning! As usual story picks up right where it left off unless otherwise noted.
Italics indicate thought when in 3rd person POV
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Who
do I love? Part 4~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kenshin and Sano walked down the
near empty street in a companionable silence. Unlike Karou and the others
Kenshin and Sano didn't need words to communicate. Turning down the small alley
that led to Sano's apartment Kenshin broke the silence.
"Sano, when are we going to
tell the others?'
"Didn't think about it,
later"
Sano placed an arm around Kenshin's waist as they entered his small apartment. Surveying the cramped surroundings Sano made a mental note to find a job so he could afford better accommodations. Leading Kenshin to the futon in the middle of the room Sano sat down and pulled Kenshin into his lap.
I still have a hard time believing
Sano reciprocates my feelings. I unconsciously press against him for
reassurance, I need to know he's there and this is really happening; I don't
want this to be a dream that I will eventually wake up from. The way he gently
strokes my hair as he pulls me closer and his presence calm the doubts raging
in my mind. He's here. He's real. This isn't a dream. I'm glad he understands
me; I could never burden him with my problems. I want to be able to spend the
rest of my life like this without the shadow of my past hanging over me. I
don't want Sano to end up like Tomoe but do I really get a second chance? I
don't deserve a second chance. Burying my face in the crook of his neck I try
to chase thoughts like that away. Sano seems to know what's on my mind; he hugs
me tighter and murmurs reassurances in my ear. I'm a little tired from the
day's excitement and the soft rhythm of Sano's breathing is lulling me to
sleep. I feel warm and safe now; I suppose a small nap wouldn't hurt.
It hurts me to see the turmoil in Kenshin's eyes. The only thing I
can do for him is pull him close and tell him it's all right. I wish I could
chase away his inner demons but he won't tell me his fears or doubts. He
doesn't want to burden anyone with his problems but I want him to let me soothe
him and help him chase the demons away. He's fallen asleep now; perhaps he can
finally get some rest. Last night he kept having nightmares, while I held him I
heard him whisper many names; are they the names of the people he killed? The names Tomoe and Kiyosato came up
frequently, I hope he will tell me who they are eventually. I don't know how to
stop his nightmares, I wish he would tell me what to do; I can hear him whimper
in my arms as another nightmare comes. Shifting Kenshin a little I lay down on
the futon so he is on my chest, I hope that he will tell me soon before his
guilt gets the better of him.
Mornings in Tokyo were always busy;
by the time the sun was up the streets were already a buzz with activity.
Trying to avoid being jostled by the crowd Kenshin and Sano walked on the far
side of the road sandwiched between the people walking and the streets and
people bending over to inspect stands wares. Sano sighed as they passed another
shop, he hadn't told Kenshin of his plan but without Kenshin's keen eyes and
ears he couldn't seem to find a job opening. Having a quick debate with himself
Sano decided to go ahead and ask Kenshin for help.
"Oi, Kenshin I need your
help with something"
"What Sano?"
Well…umm…I'mtryingtofindajobtosupportus"
"Sano, one word at a time I
can't understand what you're saying"
Breathing deeply Sano tried to calm himself down. He knew it would be hard to spring the idea on Kenshin but not this difficult. Taking one last deep breath Sano tried again.
"Well I was thinking that maybe I should get a job"
"What for?"
"I thought that maybe we could start living together"
Sano wants me to live with him! He knows I could never refuse an offer like that. I still don't want him to feel like he needs to get a job to support me. I'm perfectly capable of working, Sano doesn't need to worry. I'll get a job; he shouldn't have to rearrange his life to suit me.
"Don't bother I'll get a
job"
Damn, I knew he was going to be
difficult about this. What do I have to do to prove to him that this is
something I want to do for him? He's had so much happen to him in life he
deserves to have someone take care of all his needs. He devotes all of his time
and energy into making others happy but nobody thinks to return the favor. I
want him to live without worry or fear; I just want to make him the happiest
man alive.
"Kenshin I want to do this
for you"
"Sano it's not necessary"
"I think it's necessary"
"Sano don't be difficult"
Difficult? He says I'm being difficult!?! I hope I can outlast him in this argument his patience is seemingly endless at times.
He must be very determined to win
this argument; normally he would jump at the chance to get out of any type of
work. I still don't know why he seems to feel like he's obligated to support me
if we begin living together. Perhaps it would be best if I tried to compromise
with him, this argument could last a long time otherwise; Sano won't back down
soon. Even so I'm going to try to persuade him otherwise, who knows, maybe I'll
actually win this war.
"But Sano it's not important…"
"No, I'm getting a job
whether you like it or not"
I'm surprised that I interrupted him
like that. His persistence is starting to wear on me; I find it hard to refuse
any request of his because they are so rare. I'm caught between my desire to
fulfill his every request and my desire to be able to offer him everything;
both are of equal priority in my mind. I just hope I don't lose any more ground
in this argument. Placing my hands on his shoulders I harden my resolve as I
look into his eyes.
"I'm going to do this, you
deserve a rest"
"Having a lovers spat are
we?"
I flushed at the restaurant owner's words. He was one of those old men who seemed to know everything. I wonder how Kenshin reacted to his statement. Looking back at the man I still held in my grip I had to stifle a laugh as I noticed his face was turning the same color as his gi. I've never seen Kenshin blush like that; he looks very cute like that. Giving Kenshin a small smile I turn back to the old man as he begins to talk again.
"I've been listening to you
argue and I think I have a solution."
"What might that be ji-san?"
"I've got two job openings
at my restaurant, you could both work"
"That would be great umm
what's your name?"
"Just call me Sorata"
"Thank you for your offer
Sorata-dono"
I guess is about as close a compromise I can get from Kenshin, I'm not completely dissatisfied by the idea of working with him. I wonder what kind of job Sorata's got in mind for us. He says we can start working tomorrow morning so we have the rest of the day left. It takes me a moment to remember why I asked Katsu for money the other day; I was going to take him shopping. Grinning a little I grab Kenshin's wrist and drag him over to the nearest clothes stand. His clothes are so old and worn, I suppose on reason I want to take him shopping is my desire to see him in another color besides pink. Inspecting the sellers wares I selected a gi of a very nice shade of midnight blue and a pair of gray hakama. I don't know why but those clothes already feel like they're Kenshin's. Looking at the clothes once I more I turn around to call Kenshin over from where he's examining some hair ties.
"Oi! Kenshin! Look what I
found!"
Sano
wasn't kidding about the job; I really wish he wouldn't trouble himself like
this. While I was pondering what exactly my new job might be Sano suddenly
grabbed my wrist and led me to a clothing stand. Uninterestedly I went to go
and look at the hair ties until Sano called me over. Looking at the objects
that have caught his attention I freeze. I haven't worn those colors since my
days as the Battousai. I'm bombarded by memories of duels and battles where my
sword destroys the happiness of so many. Sano's looking at me with genuine
concern; he can tell that I'm upset about something. Offering Sano a weak smile
I look up at him, I really don't want to disappoint him.
"Sorry Sano, I was just
thinking. It's a very nice gi"
"So you like it?"
"Yes"
It wasn't really a lie; I'm very fond of those colors. When I look at the outfit again I don't feel as uncomfortable; I guess I was just shocked to see an exact replica of the old outfit I wore. I wonder why Sano asked if I liked it. He's haggling with the woman that owns the stand; she seems very reluctant to lower the price. Sano's charm and persistence win as the lady relents and accepts Sano's price. For some reason Sano has a rather triumphant smile at the moment, it almost makes me worry. I begin to have this feeling that I've unwittingly played into his hands this time around. Perhaps Megumi will have to relinquish her title as a fox to Sano, I've never know him to be this cunning. My suspicions are confirmed when Sano turns around and hands me the clothes. I knew this was what he was planning to do but I was still shocked; were they really for me?
"Sano you didn't need to do that! I have clothes!"
"Yes, I know but they are just about rags"
"Still it's unnecessary for you to spend this kind of money on me"
"Hush, Kenshin, I wanted to so just indulge me this time"
I've never really gotten a gift from someone just because. Karou and the others give me gifts on occasions that call for it but never "just because". Putting the clothes down on the stand, I hug Sano. He doesn't understand how much this truly means to me.
I'm glad Kenshin liked my present; he looked at it in disbelief for a moment. Has no one ever given him a gift like this? He surprised me when he hugged me though; beaming I hugged him back disregarding the curious stares of others. If this is the response I get I'll have to give Kenshin gifts more often. Reluctantly breaking our hug I pick up the clothes and hand them back to Kenshin so my arms free to wrap around his waist. The tails of the ribbon I gave Kenshin tickle my arm, even halved it's still too long to be a proper hair ribbon. AS I looked around I noticed that most of the morning had gone; time passes quickly when I'm around Kenshin. Kenshin seems to notice this to as he unconsciously starts to gravitate towards the food stands. Hearing my stomach protest the lack of food I drag Kenshin over to the stands so he can buy the ingredients for lunch. Kenshin's such a great cook that if he starts living with me I'll eat better than those rich politicians. No more of that slop jou-chan calls food! Distracted by the visions of the food Kenshin would prepare for me I didn't notice him calling my name until he raised his voice.
"SANO!"
"Huh? What?"
"I was thinking that we should have a good lunch"
"Anything that you cook is good"
I'm also going to have to find a way to make Kenshin blush more. He's cute when he's embarrassed; smiling I wait for him to gather his wits.
"You're shameless! I mean that we should try out Sorata-dono's restaurant"
"Sounds good, what do they serve?"
"I don't really know"
I've never really thought of Kenshin as the type to just spontaneously do something, oh well you learn something new everyday. It's good to know that Kenshin is a little bit adventurous; the information could be useful later in life.
"Alright Kenshin, lets go"
Sorata-dono has a very nice establishment. When we arrived he greeted us warmly and led us to a secluded table. It turns out that Sorata-dono's restaurant is a lot like the Akabeko, a more expensive Akabeko. Sano looks impressed by the restaurant, I have to admit that it's more decorated than the Akabeko. I wonder if Sorata-dono's restaurant can compare to the Akabeko or the Aoi-ya though; both have nearly unmatched food. I'm surprised we hadn't seen this place before it's right by the vegetable stand. Looking around I notice that most of the customers are government employed, out of the corner of my eye I can almost swear I see Katsura-san and Yamagata-san out in the market. Trying to reassure myself by saying it was just a trick of the light I turn towards Sano hoping he would start a conversation.
"Oi, Kenshin, this is a nice place"
"Yes, it's also busy, we'll have to work hard"
"Check out all the government stiffs!"
"Sano, that's unkind they're very hardworking people"
"Whatever Kenshin. I wonder if Saitoh used to come here"
"Maybe he did"
Our conversation was cut short when Sorata-dono served us a meal on the house. I can see Sano's mouth watering already, I can't blame him though it looks and smells delicious; the Akai-ya will defiantly give the Akabeko and the Aoi-ya a run for their money. Sano looks like he's about to attack our meal, I notice he keeps glancing to his side as if he expects Karou-dono or Yahiko to be there to take his food or so he claims; I believe the situation is reversed. As soon as I pick up my hashi he begins to eat rapidly. Smiling I start to eat too.
The food's great! I almost forgot how good it was to eat with jou-chan or Yahiko trying to steal my food. Kenshin seems a little jumpy for some reason; maybe he's worried someone he knows will see him. I wonder why he'd be so worried about that though, he's not eating as much as usual. The smile on his face seems to become more forced as time passes; what's troubling him so? Does he remember that he can share all his worries and fears with me now? Kenshin must have noticed my concern; he gave me one of his rarer genuine smiles and started to eat more. I wonder if jou-chan's ever seen him smile like that, a smile without the shadow of his past hanging over it. Lunch passes without further incident, Kenshin chooses not to talk to we sit in a companionable silence. I use this time to reflect on all my observations of Kenshin; he can forgive himself for some of the things he's done but he needs help to forgive himself for the rest. Jou-chan never understood that, she could never see past the Rurouni and look at the Battousai with loving eyes like I can. Jou-chan's problem is she can't love all of Kenshin, only a part of him. I just hope Kenshin realizes that I'm not like jou-chan and I don't mind helping him carry the burden of his past. I don't need to be protected from the Battousai like Karou.
Sano's is worrying about me again. I shouldn't dwell on unpleasant thoughts since it bothers Sano so much. But a few familiar faces in this restaurant trigger wave upon wave of memories. At least none of them recognize me, which would only make matters worse. My biggest fear is that someone who seeks revenge will hurt Sano to get me. I also fear that it was really Katsura-san that I saw earlier. He blames himself for ruining my life but in truth I ruined my own. I still don't think that I can face Katsura-san yet. Sano doesn't pry when he sees me brood like Karou-dono does; I'm grateful that he doesn't feel the need to know my every little thought. He still appears to be a little hurt that I haven't told him what's bothering me though. I hope he knows that I'll tell him when I'm ready to. I felt two familiar presences enter the Akai-ya; it was really Katsura-san and Yamagata-san outside. Katsura-san knows I'm here, as he walks by where Sano and I are sitting he asked me to meet him later. Are him and Yamagata-san work together now? Sano's moved to sit closer to me so he can put a comforting arm around my shoulders. I was sure that I covered my tracks well enough so Katsura-san couldn't track me here. Grateful for Sano's presence I look once more at Yamagata-san and Katsura-san as they disappear into a private room. I hope that whatever Katsura-san wants doesn't involve Sano or that Sano will not involve himself. But then again against my better judgment Sano followed me all the way to Kyoto and was hurt protecting me. It would take a miracle for him not to involve himself. Sano and I get up and I let him lead me back out into the market; it seems I can never escape my past.
~Owari~
I hope that all the Kenshin and Sano goodness makes everyone happy. I'm dead serious about putting this fic on hold if I don't get any feedback, and when I put something on hold you will not see anything on it for months. About Katsura; I have no idea what happened to him so for the sake of the story he's alive and in Tokyo. Remember I've taken liberties with stuff, deal. Please leave any nice/nasty comments in review form and please direct your flames to crazy_miko@gundamwing.net where they will be properly read and replied to. They will later be laughed at then placed at the end of the next chapter with the email address so everyone can have a good hearty belly laugh at your expense. Once again I thank A-chan for all her help so give her the credit she deserves. Please leave a review. Ja ne minna!