DISCLAIMER: We don't own any of the characters from the games or from the anime, yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah, yea yea, but we do own ourselves.
The personalities of several characters have been distorted to suit the purpose of humor, and may therefore not be exactly the same as the characters you are familiar with in the game/anime. Therefore here is an introduction to all the main and main supporting characters, so you can have a better understanding of them and maybe even possibly come to comprehend this impossibly insane story.
THE CHARACTERS BORROWED FROM FFVII:
Shera
Eye color: Brown
Hair color: Deep Brown
Age: 26 (we set it as this)
Element: Earth
Primary Weapon: Giant Butcher Knife
Secondary Weapon: Frying Pan
Limit Break: ? Not yet discovered
Description: Shera was a careful, timid, and shy woman in FFVII who looked after Cid
Highwind. In the story, she got sick of Cid's abuse and is now a kind of a "Macho woman"
skilled in cooking and fighting who wields the fryan pan on the battlefield as well as in
the kitchen. Spartanistic and fearless, it is always interesting to see what kind of
cruel and unusual punishment she will think up next, unless, of course, you are the one
who's she's thinking up the punishment for. She is Toby's Guardian.
Obsessions: None
Special:
Vincent Valentine
Eye color: Red
Hair color: Black
Age: 27
Element: Dark
Primary Weapon: Shotgun (The Death Penalty)
Secondary Weapon: Handgun (Quicksilver)
Limit Break: Chaos
Description: A tall, dark, stoic, stern and forbidding man. He's been turned into a vampire
here and sometimes his overly morbid nature gets the better of him and he becomes ludicrously
gothic and verbose.
Obsessions: Lucrecia, which changes soon.
Special:
Rude
Eye color: Unknown (Always wearing sunglasses. He never takes them off.)
Hair color: Unknown (He's bald.)
Element: Fire
Primary Weapon: Explosives, firearms, nukes, neopalm, etc.
Secondary Weapon: Fists
Limit Break: ? Not yet discovered
Description: Unbeknownst in the game, this Turk is also a super-athletic, massively tall
black rapper. Greatest basketball player in the universe. He is communicates with silence
and can be considered somewhat of a mute. He only speaks in ellipses. For those of you who
don't know what that is, ellipses are three periods grouped together usually used when you
are trailing off from a sentence. These "...". He is Mike's Guardian.
Obsessions: Sports; basketball; rap; reggae; explosives
Special:
Reno
Eye color: Aquamarine
Hair color: Red
Element: Lightning
Primary Weapon: Electromagrod -->Also known to the others as "the cattle prod"
Secondary Weapon: N/A
Limit Break: ? Not yet discovered
Description: Has got the hots for Gina, who couldn't care less for his attentions. He is
also Gina's Guardian, much to her dismay. Meretricious, manipulative, sloppy, lazy, alcoholic,
girl-crazed, womanizer. Despite his personality flaws, he is undeniably handsome and many
women find him attractive and almost irresistible. Reno is basically the exact same way
he is in the game, no changes.
Obsessions: Gina, girls/women/anything that's female and walks, booze.
Special: Loses power when drunk
Elena
Eye color: Blue
Hair color: Strawberry Blonde
Age: Varies
Element: Ice
Primary Weapon: Whip
Secondary Weapon: Knife
Limit Break: ? Not yet discovered
Description: Immature, greedy, whiny, selfish, childish, big-mouthed airhead. She is
overtly curious, candy-crazed, and can't keep her mouth shut. She is usually a kid around
10 years old but she can jump from anywhere from 7 to 21 years old.
Obsessions: Candy, sweets; when in 21-year-old form, Makeup, makeovers, and fashion.
Special: