New Horizons: Chapter Six
By Annie
02-28-2002
His voice was crystal clear in her head.
"I hope you don't think that antidote's gonna rid you of that bloody martyrdom. See, I figured it out, love; you can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark, like I thought. You're addicted to the misery. That's why you won't tell your pals about us. might actually have to be happy if you did. That they'd understand and help you, God forbid. Or drive you out. Make you finally be at peace.in the dark.with me. Either way you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for that. Let yourself live, all ready. And stop with the bloody hero-trip for a second, we'd all be better off for it. You either tell your friends about us, or I will."
"Spike."
"What, love?"
She slowly opened her eyes. Her head was pounding and she drew a breath before trying to focus her gaze. Her eyes found his and she looked at him for a moment, the view clearing. She remembered falling, she remembered being caught.by him. She looked at him, concern sketched on his face but his eyes shifting from hers to something on his left. Didn't matter.
She closed her eyes briefly, memories of dreaming lingering in her head but she couldn't remember what about. A stranger's face emerged, like a spider in the web of her thoughts and she opened her eyes again, the events of the evening now pushing away the memories of her dream into oblivion.
Maybe that's best, she thought, still feeling exhausted.
Then she realized that she was lying on the soft cushions of the couch, and that Spike was sitting next to her. She sat up quickly, her head screaming at her that she was crazy as the pain shot up through her brain. She winced, putting her hands to her temples and pressing in hard on them.
"You okay, love?" she heard Spike's voice, low and soothing.
She felt like crying and she didn't know why.
"Don't.call me that," she whispered and she could feel him stiffen a little.
Then he got up and when she opened her eyes she saw that the woman, still not properly introduced, was seated in the armchair, a blanket around her shoulders and her eyes on the Slayer.
Willow and Tara were standing to Buffy's right, as well as Dawn, all three looking worried, and Spike, now standing next to. Sarah, and Xander were to her left.
She tried to manage a smile but the nausea then decided to make itself known again and she bit her jaws together instead.
"What the." she mumbled before turning her gaze to Willow. "Will, what's wrong with me?" she asked and Willow looked at her, a touch of sadness in her eyes as she was about to respond but Spike did it for her.
"What the hell do you think's the matter, Slayer?" he asked harshly and she turned to him, having no idea what he was talking about. "How long has it been since you ate a descent meal, Buffy?" he asked, tone softer but the look in his eyes almost blameful.
She stared at him, then started to go back in her mind.
She had hardly eaten anything all day. a handful of peanuts at lunch she guessed didn't really count for a "descent meal". She hadn't eaten anything the night before. and she had been too busy at work to even notice that her lunch break was on, she remembered now. She kept going and then looked up at him, and around at them all.
"I." she tried, finding herself in the lack of a good excuse or even explanation.
What was she supposed to say?
Oh, I've been going around seriously contemplating whether or not you guys ARE real the whole week, which has had serious affects on my after dark work, in its turn giving me more to think about. Oh, yeah, and Spikey here had been my lover for quite some time 'til I broke it off quite recently and he gave me an ultimatum to tell you or HE would, which has kept me busy trying to AVOID him. In the mornings I need to get Dawn off to school AND me off to work which leaves little time to worry about breakfast and.
She sighed, shaking her head. Her not being able to juggle everything that was going on in her life was nobody's fault but her own, in the lacking of proper training, she supposed. And she wished she could blurt everything out and be done with it, but she figured that would be a really bad idea. Still, she hadn't just come to the decision of not wanting to be somebody else for nothing and so she said:
"I've had a LOT on my plate this past week."
"Obviously that's a big 'not really', Buff," Xander pointed out at her choice of words and she smiled faintly at him, he always joked when he was nervous, she knew this, and she could see that he was blaming himself.
"Xander," she said slowly. "Guys," she then continued, looking around at them. "The antidote didn't just sweep everything away." this admittance making her friends' eyes widen a little, and she quickly continued: "I've been thinking. A lot. And it wasn't 'til tonight that I actually managed to finish thinking. And I just want you all to know that I love you guys, so much. And that.that I'm home."
Dawn hesitated just a split second before taking the step dividing her and her sister, sitting down on the couch and giving her a big hug.
"I didn't know, Buffy," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
Buffy hugged her tightly.
"I know, Dawn, and I didn't want you to. I needed to figure it out myself, and there hadn't been anything you could've done anyway." she said reassuringly and Dawn nodded against her shoulder.
Willow felt herself choking up, she KNEW she should have made her eat something!
"Buffy, this morning." she started but Buffy looked up at her, Dawn still in her arms, and smiled, now more genuinely.
"I know you would have made me eat something if you had known, but how could you? Besides, I kind of presented a pretty strong argument, didn't I?" she said and Willow smiled back a little hesitantly, and then nodded.
Dawn pulled away, swiping at her tears and Buffy smiled at her, comfortingly, pulling Dawn's hair back with her hands.
"You all done?" Spike's voice suddenly asked and Buffy turned to him, about to ask him to stop being an insensitive ass-hole for a minute or so, but the tray he bent over to put down in front of her pushed the words right back down her throat and she choked on them, starting to cough.
She wasn't the only one who stared at the former Big Bad as he did this movement, though. Dawn's face split in a smile at the look on her sister's face as Spike straightened his back again.
"Made you a sandwich," he said with a small shrug and a gesture to the tray, noticing how they all were staring at him he added: "Nothing fancy! . There's some milk, too. If you'd like."
Then he picked up a small mug, obviously already filled with the latter and went over to Sarah, handing it to her with something that was supposed to look like carelessness, but that didn't.
Buffy's stomach growled at her and she bent over, picking up the sandwich from the plate and starting to eat it she tried to, as inconspicuously as possible observe Spike.
When he turned around she quickly looked away and the only thing that came to mind was a silly little school girl having a crush on some boy and. She stopped the comparison right there, shaking her head at herself and then turning back to him.
"Is it good?" he asked with a self assured smile and she thought there was the Spike she knew so well, then she smiled a bright smile at him and she saw the look in his eyes go from teasing to. she couldn't quite place it.
"Yes," she then said, sinking her teeth into it again.
And it was.
Spike nodded, the expression still on his face, and then he looked away. Something inside her jumped with joy; HE had looked away, HE had looked away! Then she hit it over the head with a gush of annoyed nonchalance and it grew quiet.
He couldn't help it, that smile had always made him want to drop to his knees. Literally since it made the joints in them non-existing, or so it would seem. This, of course, making him quite enraged with himself, or making the DEMON enraged. Or.
Bloody hell, this is starting to get confusing! he thought, turning back to Sarah.
She looked up at him with a smile and he smiled back, still not believing she was actually sitting there, in front of him.
Then she bent forward, putting her mug, now empty, on the table in front of her before getting to her feet.
He could feel the strength in her, it was coming at him like waves, and he remembered it so well. Happy to see that it was still there and now ready to hear whatever explanation she might have as to what she was doing there.
He had decided Buffy had been right; the mirror wouldn't have been at her doorstep unless this whole thing somehow required the Slayer.
Everybody had grown silent as the stranger got to her feet; she seemed quite strong now, as she walked around the armchair to face them all.
Buffy, still chewing and occasionally slurping her milk followed her with her gaze expectantly, as did the rest of the ensemble.
"You have all been very patient," the lady now spoke, her British accent thick and judging by it she was of the aristocratic descendants, as apposed to Spike who's British often had had the ever so traditional Giles quite appalled. "Thank you," the lady added.
Buffy swallowed the last of her sandwich, her eyes meeting Sarah's, and as Sarah smiled at her she found herself easily returning it this time. Then Sarah turned to Spike.
"Hi, Will," she said, her soft melodic voice warm with emotion as she took a step forward. "I have missed you so."
Spike met her and pulled her into a hard embrace, closing his eyes and feeling the heat of her body.
"Me too, precious," he whispered.
"Wow," Xander mumbled, looking at the two. "Looks like you're off the hook," he then said, turning to Buffy who turned her head to him, at first with a questioning look in her eyes, then realizing what he meant.
She turned back to Spike and Sarah.
"Yeah," she said, voice low. "Looks like it."
***
"Something bad is happening," Sarah said, twenty minutes later, once more seated in the armchair, with the Scoobies cramped up in front of her on the couch and Spike seated on a chair he had went and got for himself, to her left.
"When isn't it?" Buffy asked no one in particular and Sarah smiled.
"Yes, I know in the line of work you do, you encounter bad things on an every day basis, do you not?"
She said it more like a statement and Buffy nodded slightly.
"Yes, bad meat at the Double Meat is always."
"I meant, of course, as the Slayer," Sarah gently interrupted her and Buffy looked at her, a little surprised, even though the girl HAD ended up in her living room by stepping through a mirror.
"Hey, what do you know about that.?" Spike asked, his voice sounding a little strained and he looked down at his hands, unwilling to meet her eyes.
She reached out a hand and placed it on his arm, squeezing it gently before saying:
"I know a lot more than you could even imagine."
He hesitantly raised his gaze to meet hers.
"I know what you are," she then added. "Did you think I wouldn't find out if you just disappeared from London?" she added and he stared at her, then looked away again.
"It wasn't me who wanted to leave," he said. "It was Dru."
"And you're thinking that I've been believing you left for my sake, so that you wouldn't hurt me or my father, but that I've been wrong," Sarah said matter-of-factly and Buffy stared at her, just as Spike did. "Well," Sarah now continued. "Then I will believe YOU wrong, my dear William. Because I have always known you had traces of you in there, and I think you lost sight of that roaming around with that horrid vampire," she finished, letting a shake go through her body to emphasize her discomfort with Drusilla.
"Well, you could have that view on it. On the other hand he might just have been sincerely fond of the biting that came with her company," Xander said coyly and received a hard elbow in the side from Willow.
Spike turned to him to say something but Sarah's laughter stopped him short.
"Yes, but you see, that was the vampire part, the demon in him," she said, gaze now at Xander. "Of course, the reputation he got didn't come from being lenient, did it. Spike?" she added, turning back to the latter who looked uncomfortable with hearing her use that name on him.
"No," he then silently agreed.
"Okay, so you know Spike's a vampire, you know I'm the Slayer and you know that there is something bad happening somewhere," Buffy spoke up and Sarah turned to her. "Well, HOW do you know he's a vampire, and how the heck do you know I'm the Slayer? Don't tell me a prophecy, PLEASE! And WHERE is this bad thing happening?" Buffy finished.
"And how does the mirror work?" Dawn chipped in, grinning. "That was WAY cool!"
Sarah smiled, pulling her arm back with a final squeeze on Spike's before settling back into the armchair.
"Well, I'll start from the beginning, after all, that's the best place to start," she said and Spike let hear a low laugh which made her turn her head to him.
"What?" she asked, faking an insulted tone.
"Nothing. You just haven't changed, have you?" he answered her and she smiled widely before answering:
"Why, of course not. I stepped through that mirror from the room where it stands in my home in England, and there it is only two years after you were turned, William, in the year of her Queen Victoria, 1882."
By Annie
02-28-2002
His voice was crystal clear in her head.
"I hope you don't think that antidote's gonna rid you of that bloody martyrdom. See, I figured it out, love; you can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark, like I thought. You're addicted to the misery. That's why you won't tell your pals about us. might actually have to be happy if you did. That they'd understand and help you, God forbid. Or drive you out. Make you finally be at peace.in the dark.with me. Either way you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for that. Let yourself live, all ready. And stop with the bloody hero-trip for a second, we'd all be better off for it. You either tell your friends about us, or I will."
"Spike."
"What, love?"
She slowly opened her eyes. Her head was pounding and she drew a breath before trying to focus her gaze. Her eyes found his and she looked at him for a moment, the view clearing. She remembered falling, she remembered being caught.by him. She looked at him, concern sketched on his face but his eyes shifting from hers to something on his left. Didn't matter.
She closed her eyes briefly, memories of dreaming lingering in her head but she couldn't remember what about. A stranger's face emerged, like a spider in the web of her thoughts and she opened her eyes again, the events of the evening now pushing away the memories of her dream into oblivion.
Maybe that's best, she thought, still feeling exhausted.
Then she realized that she was lying on the soft cushions of the couch, and that Spike was sitting next to her. She sat up quickly, her head screaming at her that she was crazy as the pain shot up through her brain. She winced, putting her hands to her temples and pressing in hard on them.
"You okay, love?" she heard Spike's voice, low and soothing.
She felt like crying and she didn't know why.
"Don't.call me that," she whispered and she could feel him stiffen a little.
Then he got up and when she opened her eyes she saw that the woman, still not properly introduced, was seated in the armchair, a blanket around her shoulders and her eyes on the Slayer.
Willow and Tara were standing to Buffy's right, as well as Dawn, all three looking worried, and Spike, now standing next to. Sarah, and Xander were to her left.
She tried to manage a smile but the nausea then decided to make itself known again and she bit her jaws together instead.
"What the." she mumbled before turning her gaze to Willow. "Will, what's wrong with me?" she asked and Willow looked at her, a touch of sadness in her eyes as she was about to respond but Spike did it for her.
"What the hell do you think's the matter, Slayer?" he asked harshly and she turned to him, having no idea what he was talking about. "How long has it been since you ate a descent meal, Buffy?" he asked, tone softer but the look in his eyes almost blameful.
She stared at him, then started to go back in her mind.
She had hardly eaten anything all day. a handful of peanuts at lunch she guessed didn't really count for a "descent meal". She hadn't eaten anything the night before. and she had been too busy at work to even notice that her lunch break was on, she remembered now. She kept going and then looked up at him, and around at them all.
"I." she tried, finding herself in the lack of a good excuse or even explanation.
What was she supposed to say?
Oh, I've been going around seriously contemplating whether or not you guys ARE real the whole week, which has had serious affects on my after dark work, in its turn giving me more to think about. Oh, yeah, and Spikey here had been my lover for quite some time 'til I broke it off quite recently and he gave me an ultimatum to tell you or HE would, which has kept me busy trying to AVOID him. In the mornings I need to get Dawn off to school AND me off to work which leaves little time to worry about breakfast and.
She sighed, shaking her head. Her not being able to juggle everything that was going on in her life was nobody's fault but her own, in the lacking of proper training, she supposed. And she wished she could blurt everything out and be done with it, but she figured that would be a really bad idea. Still, she hadn't just come to the decision of not wanting to be somebody else for nothing and so she said:
"I've had a LOT on my plate this past week."
"Obviously that's a big 'not really', Buff," Xander pointed out at her choice of words and she smiled faintly at him, he always joked when he was nervous, she knew this, and she could see that he was blaming himself.
"Xander," she said slowly. "Guys," she then continued, looking around at them. "The antidote didn't just sweep everything away." this admittance making her friends' eyes widen a little, and she quickly continued: "I've been thinking. A lot. And it wasn't 'til tonight that I actually managed to finish thinking. And I just want you all to know that I love you guys, so much. And that.that I'm home."
Dawn hesitated just a split second before taking the step dividing her and her sister, sitting down on the couch and giving her a big hug.
"I didn't know, Buffy," she whispered, tears filling her eyes.
Buffy hugged her tightly.
"I know, Dawn, and I didn't want you to. I needed to figure it out myself, and there hadn't been anything you could've done anyway." she said reassuringly and Dawn nodded against her shoulder.
Willow felt herself choking up, she KNEW she should have made her eat something!
"Buffy, this morning." she started but Buffy looked up at her, Dawn still in her arms, and smiled, now more genuinely.
"I know you would have made me eat something if you had known, but how could you? Besides, I kind of presented a pretty strong argument, didn't I?" she said and Willow smiled back a little hesitantly, and then nodded.
Dawn pulled away, swiping at her tears and Buffy smiled at her, comfortingly, pulling Dawn's hair back with her hands.
"You all done?" Spike's voice suddenly asked and Buffy turned to him, about to ask him to stop being an insensitive ass-hole for a minute or so, but the tray he bent over to put down in front of her pushed the words right back down her throat and she choked on them, starting to cough.
She wasn't the only one who stared at the former Big Bad as he did this movement, though. Dawn's face split in a smile at the look on her sister's face as Spike straightened his back again.
"Made you a sandwich," he said with a small shrug and a gesture to the tray, noticing how they all were staring at him he added: "Nothing fancy! . There's some milk, too. If you'd like."
Then he picked up a small mug, obviously already filled with the latter and went over to Sarah, handing it to her with something that was supposed to look like carelessness, but that didn't.
Buffy's stomach growled at her and she bent over, picking up the sandwich from the plate and starting to eat it she tried to, as inconspicuously as possible observe Spike.
When he turned around she quickly looked away and the only thing that came to mind was a silly little school girl having a crush on some boy and. She stopped the comparison right there, shaking her head at herself and then turning back to him.
"Is it good?" he asked with a self assured smile and she thought there was the Spike she knew so well, then she smiled a bright smile at him and she saw the look in his eyes go from teasing to. she couldn't quite place it.
"Yes," she then said, sinking her teeth into it again.
And it was.
Spike nodded, the expression still on his face, and then he looked away. Something inside her jumped with joy; HE had looked away, HE had looked away! Then she hit it over the head with a gush of annoyed nonchalance and it grew quiet.
He couldn't help it, that smile had always made him want to drop to his knees. Literally since it made the joints in them non-existing, or so it would seem. This, of course, making him quite enraged with himself, or making the DEMON enraged. Or.
Bloody hell, this is starting to get confusing! he thought, turning back to Sarah.
She looked up at him with a smile and he smiled back, still not believing she was actually sitting there, in front of him.
Then she bent forward, putting her mug, now empty, on the table in front of her before getting to her feet.
He could feel the strength in her, it was coming at him like waves, and he remembered it so well. Happy to see that it was still there and now ready to hear whatever explanation she might have as to what she was doing there.
He had decided Buffy had been right; the mirror wouldn't have been at her doorstep unless this whole thing somehow required the Slayer.
Everybody had grown silent as the stranger got to her feet; she seemed quite strong now, as she walked around the armchair to face them all.
Buffy, still chewing and occasionally slurping her milk followed her with her gaze expectantly, as did the rest of the ensemble.
"You have all been very patient," the lady now spoke, her British accent thick and judging by it she was of the aristocratic descendants, as apposed to Spike who's British often had had the ever so traditional Giles quite appalled. "Thank you," the lady added.
Buffy swallowed the last of her sandwich, her eyes meeting Sarah's, and as Sarah smiled at her she found herself easily returning it this time. Then Sarah turned to Spike.
"Hi, Will," she said, her soft melodic voice warm with emotion as she took a step forward. "I have missed you so."
Spike met her and pulled her into a hard embrace, closing his eyes and feeling the heat of her body.
"Me too, precious," he whispered.
"Wow," Xander mumbled, looking at the two. "Looks like you're off the hook," he then said, turning to Buffy who turned her head to him, at first with a questioning look in her eyes, then realizing what he meant.
She turned back to Spike and Sarah.
"Yeah," she said, voice low. "Looks like it."
***
"Something bad is happening," Sarah said, twenty minutes later, once more seated in the armchair, with the Scoobies cramped up in front of her on the couch and Spike seated on a chair he had went and got for himself, to her left.
"When isn't it?" Buffy asked no one in particular and Sarah smiled.
"Yes, I know in the line of work you do, you encounter bad things on an every day basis, do you not?"
She said it more like a statement and Buffy nodded slightly.
"Yes, bad meat at the Double Meat is always."
"I meant, of course, as the Slayer," Sarah gently interrupted her and Buffy looked at her, a little surprised, even though the girl HAD ended up in her living room by stepping through a mirror.
"Hey, what do you know about that.?" Spike asked, his voice sounding a little strained and he looked down at his hands, unwilling to meet her eyes.
She reached out a hand and placed it on his arm, squeezing it gently before saying:
"I know a lot more than you could even imagine."
He hesitantly raised his gaze to meet hers.
"I know what you are," she then added. "Did you think I wouldn't find out if you just disappeared from London?" she added and he stared at her, then looked away again.
"It wasn't me who wanted to leave," he said. "It was Dru."
"And you're thinking that I've been believing you left for my sake, so that you wouldn't hurt me or my father, but that I've been wrong," Sarah said matter-of-factly and Buffy stared at her, just as Spike did. "Well," Sarah now continued. "Then I will believe YOU wrong, my dear William. Because I have always known you had traces of you in there, and I think you lost sight of that roaming around with that horrid vampire," she finished, letting a shake go through her body to emphasize her discomfort with Drusilla.
"Well, you could have that view on it. On the other hand he might just have been sincerely fond of the biting that came with her company," Xander said coyly and received a hard elbow in the side from Willow.
Spike turned to him to say something but Sarah's laughter stopped him short.
"Yes, but you see, that was the vampire part, the demon in him," she said, gaze now at Xander. "Of course, the reputation he got didn't come from being lenient, did it. Spike?" she added, turning back to the latter who looked uncomfortable with hearing her use that name on him.
"No," he then silently agreed.
"Okay, so you know Spike's a vampire, you know I'm the Slayer and you know that there is something bad happening somewhere," Buffy spoke up and Sarah turned to her. "Well, HOW do you know he's a vampire, and how the heck do you know I'm the Slayer? Don't tell me a prophecy, PLEASE! And WHERE is this bad thing happening?" Buffy finished.
"And how does the mirror work?" Dawn chipped in, grinning. "That was WAY cool!"
Sarah smiled, pulling her arm back with a final squeeze on Spike's before settling back into the armchair.
"Well, I'll start from the beginning, after all, that's the best place to start," she said and Spike let hear a low laugh which made her turn her head to him.
"What?" she asked, faking an insulted tone.
"Nothing. You just haven't changed, have you?" he answered her and she smiled widely before answering:
"Why, of course not. I stepped through that mirror from the room where it stands in my home in England, and there it is only two years after you were turned, William, in the year of her Queen Victoria, 1882."