New Horizons: Chapter Eleven
By Annie
05-01-2002
It was evening and Buffy was waiting for Sarah in the pretty guestroom she had been assigned. Buffy was wearing one of Sarah's dresses; it was one of her more simple ones since Sarah had explained that they didn't exactly wear velvet dresses every day. Sarah was a little taller than Buffy and her body wasn't as well trained and so the dress didn't fit quite as it should, but that was all right. Buffy was for once glad to not have to walk around in her jeans, and happy to get rid of feeling like a true misfit amongst the beautiful interiors of Sarah and Jacob's home.
The dress was made of soft, green cotton and she couldn't help but love the sweep-sweep-sweeping sound it made whenever she walked. She felt like a little girl, excited about being able to borrow her mother's dresses and play princess, the thought occurring to her earlier had made her giggle at herself.
Sarah had put Buffy's hair up in a loose knot and explained that she couldn't provide any make-up even if she had wanted to; they weren't big on that in this century.
Miss Talbot had been a very cheery woman and she had measured Buffy for nearly an hour, talking about the gossip that was going around Town without hardly stopping to catch her breath and even though Buffy found her likable she drew a breath of relief when the woman finally packed up her things and left, declaring the dresses to be delivered the following afternoon.
Sarah had smiled agreement as Buffy exhausted sunk down in one of the deep armchairs in the guestroom she was to call hers.
The house they were in was huge, with three floors and a kitchen and servants area, which was halfway below ground level. The house was built in an almost crimson colored brick. It stood proudly amongst its neighbors, who mostly looked practically the same, in one of the most fancy and calm streets of London. The backyard wasn't big, but Sarah said no backyards in London were, and besides, they didn't need it.
Buffy had wanted to go exploring the house or at least on a tour with Sarah, but between Miss Talbot, fitting her into Sarah's dress and trying to get ready for supper there just hadn't been any time.
She had hardly seen Spike all day and she was kind of thankful for that. She had found herself thinking of him though, more often than she would have liked, but she had brushed it off as normal, being as it was that she was situated in a house so linked to him.
Now there was a soft knock on the door.
"Come in," she said, expecting it to be Sarah and getting a small shock at the sight of Spike, dressed in dark blue trousers with a matching vest, which he had buttoned over a white shirt, a tie in the same color completed the outfit. His hair was washed and instead of the eternal brushed back due it was carefully combed to the right of his head. It sort of suited him she had to reluctantly admit.
Spike paused as well, looking at her in the way he always did only now it didn't matter how many layers of clothes she hid behind, she still found herself feeling naked under his gaze and irritated she noticed she was blushing.
She shook her head, breaking eye contact and trying to focus her mind on something else. But the picture of him had etched itself firmly in her mind and it refused to be swiped out that easily.
He smiled a little at the sudden body language she adopted, turning from him and hiding, as always, but this time with a hint of being quite shaken. He couldn't help but like that.
He cleared his throat.
"Sarah asked me to get you, love. Time to eat," he said.
She nodded, she was scared of speaking, in fear of her voice betraying her. Then she remembered that he was a VAMPIRE and that he for certain already had read her heart beat.
She turned to him once more, looking at him closely for any clue to whether or not he was going to do what he always did, say something stupid and get on her nerves.
His eyes looked into hers, calmly.
"If you think I'm gonna leave you up here when I KNOW you need to eat, you're wrong," he suddenly stated and it was so not at all what she had been waiting for that, as she got herself moving and walked up to him, she couldn't help but smile brightly.
Don't DO that, his thoughts screamed at her, you don't know what the bloody hell it does to me!
She looked almost like she had heard him because the expression faded, but not all of it, the traces of it still curving her mouth.
Her mouth! How he wanted to grab her and just.
"You're in my way," she said, looking up at him and then nodding towards the door when he looked like a question mark.
"Then move me," he said, the small gleam back in his eyes and she huffed.
"Fine," she said, giving him a hard push with one arm and he took a step back, letting her pass.
"Was it good for you?" he asked following her and she swallowed the laughter threatening to come out before replying:
"Shut up, Spike."
***
"So, what you're saying is that all you really know about this thing is that it is scheduled to happen in less than a month?" Buffy asked, grabbing another one of the biscuits on the plate before them on the table and taking a bite.
They had moved from the dining room into the drawing room where the sounds of London crept in through the slightly opened windows.
"Yes," Jacob now replied. "Well, that and the fact that we THINK we know who the one to summon the Fire, causing its birth, is." he added.
"And you're saying that it's this lord Frederick Hart character," Spike said. "I get all that. But what I don't get is what this Birth of Fire is supposed to bring on? I mean, is it supposed to open up another Hellmouth or wake up some kind of a creature or.what?"
"Well," Sarah said slowly, clearly thinking before answering, "dad and I believe that the Birth is supposed to take place INSIDE the one who summons it.that something is supposed to happen with that person. We just don't know WHY lord Hart would want to do this, I just can't get that part of the text translated, it's too advanced."
"Maybe Willow should have come instead of me," Buffy mumbled, getting frustrated over not really being able to help. "She could have translated that whole book in the blink of an eye."
"We don't know that," Spike said.
"That's right," Sarah agreed. "Besides, we really need you for a plan that dad and I have been thinking about for a while now and.well, it all depends on whether or not you're up for it. Both of you."
Buffy looked at her quizzically, and so did Spike.
"Well," Sarah said, lowering her voice and leaning forward. "This coming week, on Wednesday to be exact, lord Hart will host a three day ball on his estate right outside London."
"Is Cinderella coming?" Spike asked sarcastically and Sarah, seated next to him, smacked him on the arm before continuing.
"All the richest people in England will be there, but that's not the point, my point IS that I am invited and I want you two to come with me as my guests."
"Ah, the old act-all-friendly-to-snoop-around gig," Buffy said. "Well, I'm in," she added, nodding. "If anything we might be able to see what kind of a guy this lord is."
Sarah smiled at her.
"Wonderful."
Spike looked at Sarah, tilting his head a little before saying:
"There's more, isn't there?"
Sarah's smile grew a little stale as she turned to him with an innocent look.
"Why would you think that?" she asked and he smiled.
"Because I know you and it can't be that easy," he answered and Sarah turned to her father who shrugged and then she sighed.
"Okay, fine. There's something that I think might help. Eh, it kind of depends on Buffy, though," she said, fixing her eyes on the latter.
Buffy raised her eyebrows.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Well, lord Hart has this.weakness. For pretty young ladies, that is, and."
"And you want me to seduce him?" Buffy asked, a little surprised.
Spike felt his heart stop, not that it was beating but still.
Sarah looked a little flushed at Buffy's words before averting her eyes.
"No, not literally," she then said. "Just.maybe see if you could get him talking. I'm pretty sure that you will be the only girl there that he hasn't already met and that's why I think it really could work. I don't know if."
"This is ridiculous!" Spike exclaimed, getting to his feet. "Buffy can't bloody well go around drawing attention to herself like that! I mean, she's gonna have to do a LOT of researching and don't you think it's better for her to stay more.um, out of the people's eye than go around flirting with some old poof that all of England probably could draw a bloody sketch of blindfolded?!"
"Oh, he's not old at all, Will," Sarah said, as if that was a comfort. "He's only thirty-five."
"Thirty-five?!" Spike exploded. "That's more than ten YEARS older than Buffy!"
"So?" Buffy now asked and Spike twirled around to gape at her.
"SO?!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, YOU'RE a HUNDRED and thirty-five years older, aren't you?" she asked coyly.
He was about to retort, but stopped himself.
"Actually it's more like a hundred and fifty," Sarah said and Spike shot her a glance that made her smile disarmingly.
Buffy stood.
"I am beat," she said, hiding a yawn behind one hand. "If you'll excuse me I'm going to bed. And, Sarah, I think it sounds like a good plan. I'll bat my eyes at him and pout my lips just enough to reel him in and then I'm sure I can get a word or two out of him."
Spike was about to say something but Buffy just gave him a look not to bother, then she said goodnight to Sarah and Jacob and left the room to go upstairs.
***
She closed the door to her bedroom. Leaning against it and feeling something heavy settle inside her chest. Then she just wanted to cry, but she was so sick of doing that and she closed her eyes, trying to keep calm.
She didn't know why she suddenly was feeling like she was made out of led. Her whole body felt immobile and she just wanted to stand leaning against that stupid door forever. Then there was a knock on it and she swirled around, grabbing the handle and opening it and realizing the moment her eyes met Sarah's that she had been expecting Spike.
And when her heart slowly started pacing normally in her chest again she felt something suspiciously close to disappointment somewhere near it and she swallowed, certain that she was wrong.
"I thought you might need some help getting out of those clothes," Sarah said with a trying smile, Buffy had looked so very disappointed when her eyes had met Sarah's that the latter wasn't sure she was welcome.
Then Buffy suddenly looked resolute before the expression vanished and she smiled gratefully, opening the door wider so that Sarah could step inside.
"That sounds like a really true thought," Buffy said as she closed the door and Sarah laughed.
"Come, let's stand in front of the mirror. It won't take long," she said and Buffy nodded.
Sarah started to unlace the skirt and they stood in silence for a few moments before Sarah said:
"William is quite fond of you, isn't he?"
Buffy felt a twist in her chest, close to where that heaviness was still settled, and then she nodded slowly.
"He says so." she mumbled, not quite able to look into the mirror, into her own eyes.
Irritation started to mix with the other feelings residing within her and she looked up, staring straight into the two brown irises that were the windows to her soul.
And again she wanted to cry.
Bighting her jaw tightly together she managed to push the feeling aside and she concentrated on what Sarah was saying.
"I'm not all sure exactly what your relationship with him is, and I don't want to pry, but."
"There isn't any relationship," Buffy said sternly, still holding her own eyes in the mirror. "There never has been any relationship and there NEVER will be."
Sarah looked at her from where she was standing to Buffy's left, and then she let the skirt of the dress fall to the floor, moving to stand behind Buffy as her quick fingers started unbuttoning the top of it.
"You sound very sure," she said hesitantly.
"I AM very sure," Buffy answered her. "Why wouldn't I be?" she added and Sarah's hands seemed to move slower for a few seconds before they started picking up their pace again.
"Oh, I don't know." she then murmured. "Maybe the.tension between you two?"
She was done with the unbuttoning part and now moved around to stand before Buffy as the latter stared at her, then answered:
"The 'tension' is nothing but bad history. He has tried to kill me a few times, you see, and so I don't really trust him, chip or NO chip. He.he's not."
"Trustworthy?" Sarah asked silently and Buffy thought for a moment before replying.
"He and I, we don't mesh well, in any aspect. You've seen us, just in one day, how much we fight and disagree and. We're both stubborn, I guess." She paused for a moment, then slowly continued: "Look, I know you care for him, but the fact is that he ISN'T William anymore, he's not the person you knew and loved so much, that person is dead and gone. All he is. All he is is."
"What?" Sarah asked, smiling faintly. "Evil?" she asked, then she took a step forward, grabbing Buffy's hands in hers and holding them in a tight grip she caught Buffy's eyes and held them. "Do you REALLY believe that, Buffy?" she now asked, her voice so intense it almost cut the inside of Buffy's ears.
Buffy stared at her, trying to answer, trying to at least move, but she couldn't.
Do I believe that? Do I really believe that?
The question bounced against the insides of her head and there was nothing she seemed to be able to do to catch it, make it stop.
Then Sarah let her hands go, taking a step back she smiled her bright smile.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be pushing you into a discussion you're not willing to have. I think my work here is done though," she said, gesturing towards the dress. "Eh.goodnight, Buffy."
She walked over to the door, opening it silently.
"Sarah," Buffy said, finally out of her daze. "I."
"It's okay," Sarah said dismissively. "As long as YOU know the true answer, you don't have to bother with telling me."
And with that she left.
Buffy looked at the gaping hole of the open door, the darkness of the hallway outside it feeling like another world entirely, then she turned to her reflection. Starting to pull the top of her dress, still hanging on her shoulders, off she looked closely at herself. The body now covered in an ill-fitting excuse for an under-dress, the tired eyes, the hanging shoulders, the messed up hair.
Then she sighed, turning away from the mirror and picking the dress up to hang it over a chair. She grabbed the big, white nightgown Sarah had borrowed her and brought it over her head, sliding her arms in their places and letting it fall down she pulled her hair out so it wasn't stuck at the seam of the neck, and then she suddenly felt a so very familiar feeling.
He was there, behind her, he was looking at her.
Her whole body tensed, every muscle trying to follow the whims of both her mind and her desire; the first one saying "be careful!", and the latter whispering "don't care!".
Her heart was on an instant adrenaline rush and she almost felt like she would crack open.
She tried to take a shaky breath, not caring if he noticed its instability or not, but it was a struggle and she gave it up.
She turned around, as if she wasn't aware of his presence.
But the doorway was empty.
She paused herself entirely.
Had she just DONE that? The anticipation, the RUSH! That was the problem, though, wasn't it? The way he affected her was not anything she could deny, it was there, and she DID want him. What got her put on alert now was how she surely would have given in, had he ACTUALLY been there. Had he rested his eyes on her and seduced her with the gentleness of his mouth, making his words drip from his lips caressing her like honey.
She shrugged; suddenly scared of taking her thoughts any further, it might end up with HER paying HIM a late night visit.
Then she chuckled a little at the thought.
"Nope," she said, self-assured. "Never gonna happen."
She went up to close her door and stopped.
She might have been wrong, it might have been just her brain playing tricks on her, but she could have sworn that the traces of scent from something spicy she couldn't quite place, smoke and.whiskey? hung in the air of the doorway.
She didn't even notice the small smile growing on her lips as she gently pushed the door closed.
By Annie
05-01-2002
It was evening and Buffy was waiting for Sarah in the pretty guestroom she had been assigned. Buffy was wearing one of Sarah's dresses; it was one of her more simple ones since Sarah had explained that they didn't exactly wear velvet dresses every day. Sarah was a little taller than Buffy and her body wasn't as well trained and so the dress didn't fit quite as it should, but that was all right. Buffy was for once glad to not have to walk around in her jeans, and happy to get rid of feeling like a true misfit amongst the beautiful interiors of Sarah and Jacob's home.
The dress was made of soft, green cotton and she couldn't help but love the sweep-sweep-sweeping sound it made whenever she walked. She felt like a little girl, excited about being able to borrow her mother's dresses and play princess, the thought occurring to her earlier had made her giggle at herself.
Sarah had put Buffy's hair up in a loose knot and explained that she couldn't provide any make-up even if she had wanted to; they weren't big on that in this century.
Miss Talbot had been a very cheery woman and she had measured Buffy for nearly an hour, talking about the gossip that was going around Town without hardly stopping to catch her breath and even though Buffy found her likable she drew a breath of relief when the woman finally packed up her things and left, declaring the dresses to be delivered the following afternoon.
Sarah had smiled agreement as Buffy exhausted sunk down in one of the deep armchairs in the guestroom she was to call hers.
The house they were in was huge, with three floors and a kitchen and servants area, which was halfway below ground level. The house was built in an almost crimson colored brick. It stood proudly amongst its neighbors, who mostly looked practically the same, in one of the most fancy and calm streets of London. The backyard wasn't big, but Sarah said no backyards in London were, and besides, they didn't need it.
Buffy had wanted to go exploring the house or at least on a tour with Sarah, but between Miss Talbot, fitting her into Sarah's dress and trying to get ready for supper there just hadn't been any time.
She had hardly seen Spike all day and she was kind of thankful for that. She had found herself thinking of him though, more often than she would have liked, but she had brushed it off as normal, being as it was that she was situated in a house so linked to him.
Now there was a soft knock on the door.
"Come in," she said, expecting it to be Sarah and getting a small shock at the sight of Spike, dressed in dark blue trousers with a matching vest, which he had buttoned over a white shirt, a tie in the same color completed the outfit. His hair was washed and instead of the eternal brushed back due it was carefully combed to the right of his head. It sort of suited him she had to reluctantly admit.
Spike paused as well, looking at her in the way he always did only now it didn't matter how many layers of clothes she hid behind, she still found herself feeling naked under his gaze and irritated she noticed she was blushing.
She shook her head, breaking eye contact and trying to focus her mind on something else. But the picture of him had etched itself firmly in her mind and it refused to be swiped out that easily.
He smiled a little at the sudden body language she adopted, turning from him and hiding, as always, but this time with a hint of being quite shaken. He couldn't help but like that.
He cleared his throat.
"Sarah asked me to get you, love. Time to eat," he said.
She nodded, she was scared of speaking, in fear of her voice betraying her. Then she remembered that he was a VAMPIRE and that he for certain already had read her heart beat.
She turned to him once more, looking at him closely for any clue to whether or not he was going to do what he always did, say something stupid and get on her nerves.
His eyes looked into hers, calmly.
"If you think I'm gonna leave you up here when I KNOW you need to eat, you're wrong," he suddenly stated and it was so not at all what she had been waiting for that, as she got herself moving and walked up to him, she couldn't help but smile brightly.
Don't DO that, his thoughts screamed at her, you don't know what the bloody hell it does to me!
She looked almost like she had heard him because the expression faded, but not all of it, the traces of it still curving her mouth.
Her mouth! How he wanted to grab her and just.
"You're in my way," she said, looking up at him and then nodding towards the door when he looked like a question mark.
"Then move me," he said, the small gleam back in his eyes and she huffed.
"Fine," she said, giving him a hard push with one arm and he took a step back, letting her pass.
"Was it good for you?" he asked following her and she swallowed the laughter threatening to come out before replying:
"Shut up, Spike."
***
"So, what you're saying is that all you really know about this thing is that it is scheduled to happen in less than a month?" Buffy asked, grabbing another one of the biscuits on the plate before them on the table and taking a bite.
They had moved from the dining room into the drawing room where the sounds of London crept in through the slightly opened windows.
"Yes," Jacob now replied. "Well, that and the fact that we THINK we know who the one to summon the Fire, causing its birth, is." he added.
"And you're saying that it's this lord Frederick Hart character," Spike said. "I get all that. But what I don't get is what this Birth of Fire is supposed to bring on? I mean, is it supposed to open up another Hellmouth or wake up some kind of a creature or.what?"
"Well," Sarah said slowly, clearly thinking before answering, "dad and I believe that the Birth is supposed to take place INSIDE the one who summons it.that something is supposed to happen with that person. We just don't know WHY lord Hart would want to do this, I just can't get that part of the text translated, it's too advanced."
"Maybe Willow should have come instead of me," Buffy mumbled, getting frustrated over not really being able to help. "She could have translated that whole book in the blink of an eye."
"We don't know that," Spike said.
"That's right," Sarah agreed. "Besides, we really need you for a plan that dad and I have been thinking about for a while now and.well, it all depends on whether or not you're up for it. Both of you."
Buffy looked at her quizzically, and so did Spike.
"Well," Sarah said, lowering her voice and leaning forward. "This coming week, on Wednesday to be exact, lord Hart will host a three day ball on his estate right outside London."
"Is Cinderella coming?" Spike asked sarcastically and Sarah, seated next to him, smacked him on the arm before continuing.
"All the richest people in England will be there, but that's not the point, my point IS that I am invited and I want you two to come with me as my guests."
"Ah, the old act-all-friendly-to-snoop-around gig," Buffy said. "Well, I'm in," she added, nodding. "If anything we might be able to see what kind of a guy this lord is."
Sarah smiled at her.
"Wonderful."
Spike looked at Sarah, tilting his head a little before saying:
"There's more, isn't there?"
Sarah's smile grew a little stale as she turned to him with an innocent look.
"Why would you think that?" she asked and he smiled.
"Because I know you and it can't be that easy," he answered and Sarah turned to her father who shrugged and then she sighed.
"Okay, fine. There's something that I think might help. Eh, it kind of depends on Buffy, though," she said, fixing her eyes on the latter.
Buffy raised her eyebrows.
"What is it?" she asked.
"Well, lord Hart has this.weakness. For pretty young ladies, that is, and."
"And you want me to seduce him?" Buffy asked, a little surprised.
Spike felt his heart stop, not that it was beating but still.
Sarah looked a little flushed at Buffy's words before averting her eyes.
"No, not literally," she then said. "Just.maybe see if you could get him talking. I'm pretty sure that you will be the only girl there that he hasn't already met and that's why I think it really could work. I don't know if."
"This is ridiculous!" Spike exclaimed, getting to his feet. "Buffy can't bloody well go around drawing attention to herself like that! I mean, she's gonna have to do a LOT of researching and don't you think it's better for her to stay more.um, out of the people's eye than go around flirting with some old poof that all of England probably could draw a bloody sketch of blindfolded?!"
"Oh, he's not old at all, Will," Sarah said, as if that was a comfort. "He's only thirty-five."
"Thirty-five?!" Spike exploded. "That's more than ten YEARS older than Buffy!"
"So?" Buffy now asked and Spike twirled around to gape at her.
"SO?!" he exclaimed.
"Yes, YOU'RE a HUNDRED and thirty-five years older, aren't you?" she asked coyly.
He was about to retort, but stopped himself.
"Actually it's more like a hundred and fifty," Sarah said and Spike shot her a glance that made her smile disarmingly.
Buffy stood.
"I am beat," she said, hiding a yawn behind one hand. "If you'll excuse me I'm going to bed. And, Sarah, I think it sounds like a good plan. I'll bat my eyes at him and pout my lips just enough to reel him in and then I'm sure I can get a word or two out of him."
Spike was about to say something but Buffy just gave him a look not to bother, then she said goodnight to Sarah and Jacob and left the room to go upstairs.
***
She closed the door to her bedroom. Leaning against it and feeling something heavy settle inside her chest. Then she just wanted to cry, but she was so sick of doing that and she closed her eyes, trying to keep calm.
She didn't know why she suddenly was feeling like she was made out of led. Her whole body felt immobile and she just wanted to stand leaning against that stupid door forever. Then there was a knock on it and she swirled around, grabbing the handle and opening it and realizing the moment her eyes met Sarah's that she had been expecting Spike.
And when her heart slowly started pacing normally in her chest again she felt something suspiciously close to disappointment somewhere near it and she swallowed, certain that she was wrong.
"I thought you might need some help getting out of those clothes," Sarah said with a trying smile, Buffy had looked so very disappointed when her eyes had met Sarah's that the latter wasn't sure she was welcome.
Then Buffy suddenly looked resolute before the expression vanished and she smiled gratefully, opening the door wider so that Sarah could step inside.
"That sounds like a really true thought," Buffy said as she closed the door and Sarah laughed.
"Come, let's stand in front of the mirror. It won't take long," she said and Buffy nodded.
Sarah started to unlace the skirt and they stood in silence for a few moments before Sarah said:
"William is quite fond of you, isn't he?"
Buffy felt a twist in her chest, close to where that heaviness was still settled, and then she nodded slowly.
"He says so." she mumbled, not quite able to look into the mirror, into her own eyes.
Irritation started to mix with the other feelings residing within her and she looked up, staring straight into the two brown irises that were the windows to her soul.
And again she wanted to cry.
Bighting her jaw tightly together she managed to push the feeling aside and she concentrated on what Sarah was saying.
"I'm not all sure exactly what your relationship with him is, and I don't want to pry, but."
"There isn't any relationship," Buffy said sternly, still holding her own eyes in the mirror. "There never has been any relationship and there NEVER will be."
Sarah looked at her from where she was standing to Buffy's left, and then she let the skirt of the dress fall to the floor, moving to stand behind Buffy as her quick fingers started unbuttoning the top of it.
"You sound very sure," she said hesitantly.
"I AM very sure," Buffy answered her. "Why wouldn't I be?" she added and Sarah's hands seemed to move slower for a few seconds before they started picking up their pace again.
"Oh, I don't know." she then murmured. "Maybe the.tension between you two?"
She was done with the unbuttoning part and now moved around to stand before Buffy as the latter stared at her, then answered:
"The 'tension' is nothing but bad history. He has tried to kill me a few times, you see, and so I don't really trust him, chip or NO chip. He.he's not."
"Trustworthy?" Sarah asked silently and Buffy thought for a moment before replying.
"He and I, we don't mesh well, in any aspect. You've seen us, just in one day, how much we fight and disagree and. We're both stubborn, I guess." She paused for a moment, then slowly continued: "Look, I know you care for him, but the fact is that he ISN'T William anymore, he's not the person you knew and loved so much, that person is dead and gone. All he is. All he is is."
"What?" Sarah asked, smiling faintly. "Evil?" she asked, then she took a step forward, grabbing Buffy's hands in hers and holding them in a tight grip she caught Buffy's eyes and held them. "Do you REALLY believe that, Buffy?" she now asked, her voice so intense it almost cut the inside of Buffy's ears.
Buffy stared at her, trying to answer, trying to at least move, but she couldn't.
Do I believe that? Do I really believe that?
The question bounced against the insides of her head and there was nothing she seemed to be able to do to catch it, make it stop.
Then Sarah let her hands go, taking a step back she smiled her bright smile.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be pushing you into a discussion you're not willing to have. I think my work here is done though," she said, gesturing towards the dress. "Eh.goodnight, Buffy."
She walked over to the door, opening it silently.
"Sarah," Buffy said, finally out of her daze. "I."
"It's okay," Sarah said dismissively. "As long as YOU know the true answer, you don't have to bother with telling me."
And with that she left.
Buffy looked at the gaping hole of the open door, the darkness of the hallway outside it feeling like another world entirely, then she turned to her reflection. Starting to pull the top of her dress, still hanging on her shoulders, off she looked closely at herself. The body now covered in an ill-fitting excuse for an under-dress, the tired eyes, the hanging shoulders, the messed up hair.
Then she sighed, turning away from the mirror and picking the dress up to hang it over a chair. She grabbed the big, white nightgown Sarah had borrowed her and brought it over her head, sliding her arms in their places and letting it fall down she pulled her hair out so it wasn't stuck at the seam of the neck, and then she suddenly felt a so very familiar feeling.
He was there, behind her, he was looking at her.
Her whole body tensed, every muscle trying to follow the whims of both her mind and her desire; the first one saying "be careful!", and the latter whispering "don't care!".
Her heart was on an instant adrenaline rush and she almost felt like she would crack open.
She tried to take a shaky breath, not caring if he noticed its instability or not, but it was a struggle and she gave it up.
She turned around, as if she wasn't aware of his presence.
But the doorway was empty.
She paused herself entirely.
Had she just DONE that? The anticipation, the RUSH! That was the problem, though, wasn't it? The way he affected her was not anything she could deny, it was there, and she DID want him. What got her put on alert now was how she surely would have given in, had he ACTUALLY been there. Had he rested his eyes on her and seduced her with the gentleness of his mouth, making his words drip from his lips caressing her like honey.
She shrugged; suddenly scared of taking her thoughts any further, it might end up with HER paying HIM a late night visit.
Then she chuckled a little at the thought.
"Nope," she said, self-assured. "Never gonna happen."
She went up to close her door and stopped.
She might have been wrong, it might have been just her brain playing tricks on her, but she could have sworn that the traces of scent from something spicy she couldn't quite place, smoke and.whiskey? hung in the air of the doorway.
She didn't even notice the small smile growing on her lips as she gently pushed the door closed.