New Horizons: Chapter Fourteen
By Annie
05-03-2002
Buffy was pacing. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
Darkness was sinking outside the windows of the house and the three people gathered in the drawing room on the second floor were all restless, Buffy being the only one making it obvious.
They had been working all day, Sarah insisting that they honor William's wish and leave him alone.
Nothing huge had happened on the scanning-the-books front, or on the everyday front except for the fact that Buffy's dresses had been delivered and that Sarah had ordered for two gowns to be sown up within the next few days for the ball.
Buffy had mentioned about a zillion times during the day that this whole disappearing act was so typical of Spike, never caring about anybody else's feelings, just barging out, leaving to do whatever he wanted to do. Both Sarah and Jacob had silently listened, but Sarah had had to bite her lip more than once not to point out how worried Buffy sounded.
Now they heard the front door open down stairs and Buffy stopped her pacing, turning to Sarah and Jacob before she without a word rushed out of the room. She paused on the top step of the stairs leading into the hall, he was standing at the bottom of them and he looked up at her, seemingly waiting.
He didn't have to wait long before she quickly went down to him, the anger she had been able to keep alive now coming out in full force.
"Where the HELL have you been?" she yelled at him, standing on the last step of the stairs and therefore able to be in the same height as his eyes, then she smelled the whiskey on him and her eyes grew wide with disbelief. "You've been DRINKING? Of all the stupid, idiotic, crazy, unbelievably.STUPID things to do! We could've needed your help today and you go find the nearest damn bar to.To WHAT? What the hell were you drinking for, YOU were the one who.who. And why did you go outside in the first place! What if the sun had come out? What would you have done then, Mr. I-don't-care-about-anything-but-myself? You could have been frigging ASHES by now and don't look at me like that! Oh, I could just stake you right now!"
She was breathing hard as she stared at him, waiting for an explanation.
"Then stake me," he said simply, taking a step up and then walking past her up the stairs.
She stood staring for a moment before swirling around and running after him. She caught up with him at the top of the stairs, grabbing a hold of him and turning him around to face her again, her eyes blazing.
He looked at her, needing to hold her so badly that he wanted to scream but knowing that if he touched her now in any other way than to fight her she would only recoil from him.
"Look, Slayer, I don't wanna do this right now," he mumbled, turning away from her again.
She moved and stood in his way, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well, to hell with what you want," she said, at least abandoning the yelling method. "Why did you do that? Why did you leave? Don't you know how little time we have; the ball thingy is the day after tomorrow, remember?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair and then meeting her gaze.
"I left because I had to," he said. "Because I couldn't stand being in the same house as you, pet. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
He could see the sudden confusion in her eyes, stripping away the anger.
"That sounds kinda weird, Spike. Shouldn't it be the other way around?" she pointed out quizzically and he smiled a little.
"Isn't it like that already?" he retorted.
She felt a small wave of insecurity wash over her, looking into his eyes she was as always lost as to what emotion was buried deep down in them. The surface looked sad. He looked sad.
"Fine, then we forgive you THIS time, but don't do it again," she said and he almost laughed at her, he wanted to laugh at this whole situation.
He had decided even before he walked in through the door that he wasn't going to tell her about the chip. It would do more harm than good, at least with the belief of having that control over him she wouldn't feel like she had to watch every step he took as well as trying to concentrate on the mission at hand. No, she wouldn't believe him if he told her what had happened with green-eyes. He was as sure of that as he was of the sun's ability to kill him.
"You finished?" he asked, tilting his head to one side and meeting her gaze with his own.
She nodded and looked down, her eyes widening a little noticing the by now dried blood on his hands.
She grabbed one of them, staring at it, and then looked up at him.
"What is this?" she asked, her voice slightly trembling.
"Demon," he lied. "Had just fed and I beat the crap outta him, I can tell you that. The human was still alive. Thank God, right?"
She dropped his hand, her eyes narrowing as she looked at him.
"And you did this WHILE you were drunk out of your mind or AFTER?" she asked and he smiled that small smile again.
"A little bit of both, to be honest," he said and she looked at him.
"So you saved a life?" she asked, sounding so almost on the border to disbelieving that he had actually done this without her standing guard in the background that he shook his head at her, the hurt her words caused him flashing in his eyes.
"Yeah, I did," he answered her and added before he realized it: "And it's all your fault."
Her eyebrows shot up at that statement.
"My FAULT?" she asked, her tone sarcastic. "How can it be my FAULT?"
"Because you're so damn lovable, that's why," he mumbled. "Even when you're a full-blown bitch I can't deny the fact that I love you," he then added, his eyes resting in hers making her heart almost break, but her mind had always been more stubborn and she said:
"You don't know what love is."
His face looked as though it almost fell apart at that and then he took a slow step forward, letting a hand lightly place itself under her chin holding her gaze in his, his thumb and index finger sliding to take a gentle grip around her jaw bone making her not able to turn her head away.
She stared into those pools, stared into the hurt and the pain in them, and felt lost and alone and stripped of any knowledge she thought she might have had about anything.
Then he leaned down and his lips found hers, so softly that she almost wanted to cry he pressed his mouth against hers. She closed her eyes but opened them again when he pulled away, now finding something knife sharp in his gaze.
"Don't EVER say that to my face again," he said in a hushed voice that was laced with emotion before releasing her face, backing away from her.
Then he turned around and before she had a chance to react he was gone.
She couldn't move; the feeling of his lips on hers was so strong that she couldn't shake it and the look in his eyes was all that she could see before her own.
The sound of Sarah's voice almost made her jump and she turned unseeing eyes towards her new friend.
"What did he say?" Sarah asked gently and Buffy tried to focus her hazy gaze, then suddenly feeling a whirlwind inside sweeping away all the sudden mumbo-jumbo he had thrown her into and the so familiar convictions took over.
"Nothing important," she mumbled, her mind applauding, her heart gasping in horror; she easily ignored it, she didn't trust it anyway. "Nothing I haven't heard before," she added with an assuring smile to Sarah before walking past her and back into the drawing room.
***
Sarah opened the door to Spike's room without knocking; stepping inside she closed it silently.
"William," she said, seeing him sitting in the same place as that morning, in front of the window with a cup in his hands and she realized he must have gotten supper for himself.
"Precious," he said and turned to her, a bitterness and coldness indescribable surrounding him.
She walked up to him, falling on her knees at his side and grabbing him, pulling him close.
"Don't let her do this to you."
He could bite her, he could put on his game face and sink his fangs into her just like that, but here she was with her warm body pressed against him, her arms protectively surrounding him and her loving voice penetrating his brain with comforting whispers that only hurt him more.
".you have to know that, she is just so confused," she was mumbling, her mouth against his neck.
He rose, pulling her with him, and then took a firm hold of her arms, bending her grip open and stepping aside he let her go.
"I'm not as pathetic as you think," he said. "I will never tell her I love her again," he added and Sarah stared at him.
"You told her you.?"
"I did, yeah. And she is CONFUSED? What the hell is that supposed to mean to me, Sarah?" he asked, his voice harsh but his eyes filling with tears as he looked away.
She eyed him closely, her heart aching for him.
"I don't know, Will," she answered silently. "What did she say to you?" she then asked and he put the cup, still in his hand, down, turning to her again.
"Nothing that I haven't heard before," he answered her and she almost smiled at the coincidence of him using the same sentence Buffy had only half an hour earlier.
She swallowed it though; seeing that it would probably not be a very good idea considering the circumstances of the conversation she was having, or the circumstances through which Buffy had said it.
They were both quiet for a minute, lost in their own thoughts.
Spike couldn't get the feeling of Buffy's lips out if his head. No matter what he did and how he struggled she was on his mind. He felt so bloody helpless and he hated it, but what could he do? She would never love him, he knew it now. There was no use even hoping any more. He had cracked himself open for her to rummage around as she pleased so many times, and she hadn't had a clue what she was doing and so she hadn't been able to leave the parts that made him up alone and she had changed him, changed his being until it was unrecognizable. And where had it led him? To a dead end, a road with her name on it and now he was standing looking around for a bloody sign showing him how to get off it and there was NOTHING! Nothing to do, nowhere to go, all he could do was stand still.
He sighed, bringing a hand up to his eyes, rubbing them tiredly.
Sarah looked at him for a moment longer.
She had wanted to do what she was about to do for such a long time and now she couldn't resist it any longer, she HAD to ask him. Maybe it would be a way out for him AND Buffy, or maybe it would just be an eye-opener for them both, either way she needed to get it off her mind and so she opened her mouth and said:
"Stay here. When Buffy goes back, when this is all over with. William, stay here with me and my father."
He seemed to stiffen a little and then he turned to her, his eyes a little wide as she saw her request sink in.
"Don't answer now, Will. Think about it," she said and started to walk up to the door, pausing by his side to put a hand on one of his arms, looking at him with a slight smile she then continued up to the door and opened it.
Walking out she turned back to look at him and then closed the door silently.
She was more than sure that he would turn her down, but maybe.
She looked down the hall at the closed door to Buffy's room, hesitating a moment before shaking her head to herself.
No, it would probably not be a good idea to impose right now, she thought, and then went to the stairs, gliding down them to the second floor and into the drawing room where her father awaited.
***
Buffy was fiercely going through the notes she and Sarah had made while going through the books that afternoon. They had been able to find out some more about the ritual itself; it did indeed need eight more participants to form a circle. What also was needed were nine kinds of offerings, they had only been able to make out five. A white rose, a red piece of silk and a butterfly, a spider and a snake, all three alive. Sarah thought that the sixth had something to do with paper or some kind of wood but she wasn't at all sure.
Buffy stared at the papers scattered all over her bed, trying to remember what she had just read. With a frustrated sigh she gathered all the papers up in a pile for the sixth time since she had started the task and tried to get her focus off the still lingering sensation of his lips on her mouth.
"For crying out loud," she mumbled to herself, shaking her head. "A part of me is longing for him so badly it hurts," she pondered to herself, "but a bigger part KNOWS that it is as wrong as it can be and that USING him to. to fulfill any sexual frigging yearnings I might have is just disgusting behavior and I WON'T do it anymore! How could I.?" she added mumbling as the expression in his eyes appeared in her head.
Then she shook it off.
"Get my mind off it, that's all I have to do. Did perfectly fine for over two weeks, no need for me to go having huge relapses now just because of some measly little kiss," there was a knock on the door and she felt her heart betray her once again as it jumped up into her throat.
Dammit, Buffy, what if he used his VAMPIRE SENSES and just HEARD you?! her thoughts reprimanded her impatiently and her heart started galloping faster at the thought.
"Dammit, dammit," she swore as she got off the bed to walk up to the door.
At least she could just open it a little and not have to really face him, should it be HIM. And at least he wouldn't be able to come into the room. She grabbed the handle and opened it a tiny bit, popping an eye in the slit to see who it was. Sarah smiled tryingly at her and she sighed, relieved, before smiling back and opening the door.
"Hi," she said. "I was just going through the notes and stuff. Do you need them?" she asked as Sarah came into the room.
"No," she answered, shaking her head. "Thank you. I just wanted to say good night and that I'll see you tomorrow."
Buffy nodded, still smiling, and they embraced.
Sarah went back to the door but stopped in the doorway, turning back with a hesitant look on her face.
"You know that he loves you, but you do not believe him, am I right?" she asked slowly and Buffy swallowed, trying to get rid of the guilty feeling moving in sync with her heart beat.
"Well." she said, trying to think of a way to answer that didn't sound completely heartless.
Sarah smiled a little.
"Do you remember what I asked you last night?" Sarah wondered and Buffy looked at her, a little confused as she tried to find the question in her head. Then Sarah said: "I asked you if you truly believe that William.or Spike, is all evil. Maybe, before you answer the question I asked you tonight, you should find the true answer to THAT one?"
With that and another smile she stepped outside, closing the door with a gentle click.
Buffy stared at the doorknob. Wishing that she could just know what she should feel about this. Wishing that she had the answer to both questions, or scratch that, ALL questions clearly in her head.
"But that's not the way it works, is it?" she mumbled.
Then she sighed and went back to her bed; picking the papers up and putting them aside she crawled under the cool covers, feeling how tired she was.
She turned to the lamp on her bedside table, reaching for the knob to turn the carrageen down and the light out.
The room was soon in darkness and she sunk back against the pillows, closing her eyes she yawned and after only a few moments she was between sleep and wake, feeling her entire body relax away from the tumbling thoughts in her head.
She thought she heard the door open, but was too far away to really take any notice.
The bed softly tilted a little to the side as someone sat down and then there was a cool hand stroking her forehead, pulling some strands of hair out of her face.
She heard a soft voice she knew well whisper:
"Damn, you're so beautiful."
She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids didn't want to work with her and soon sleep swept her away.
By Annie
05-03-2002
Buffy was pacing. She seemed to be doing that a lot lately.
Darkness was sinking outside the windows of the house and the three people gathered in the drawing room on the second floor were all restless, Buffy being the only one making it obvious.
They had been working all day, Sarah insisting that they honor William's wish and leave him alone.
Nothing huge had happened on the scanning-the-books front, or on the everyday front except for the fact that Buffy's dresses had been delivered and that Sarah had ordered for two gowns to be sown up within the next few days for the ball.
Buffy had mentioned about a zillion times during the day that this whole disappearing act was so typical of Spike, never caring about anybody else's feelings, just barging out, leaving to do whatever he wanted to do. Both Sarah and Jacob had silently listened, but Sarah had had to bite her lip more than once not to point out how worried Buffy sounded.
Now they heard the front door open down stairs and Buffy stopped her pacing, turning to Sarah and Jacob before she without a word rushed out of the room. She paused on the top step of the stairs leading into the hall, he was standing at the bottom of them and he looked up at her, seemingly waiting.
He didn't have to wait long before she quickly went down to him, the anger she had been able to keep alive now coming out in full force.
"Where the HELL have you been?" she yelled at him, standing on the last step of the stairs and therefore able to be in the same height as his eyes, then she smelled the whiskey on him and her eyes grew wide with disbelief. "You've been DRINKING? Of all the stupid, idiotic, crazy, unbelievably.STUPID things to do! We could've needed your help today and you go find the nearest damn bar to.To WHAT? What the hell were you drinking for, YOU were the one who.who. And why did you go outside in the first place! What if the sun had come out? What would you have done then, Mr. I-don't-care-about-anything-but-myself? You could have been frigging ASHES by now and don't look at me like that! Oh, I could just stake you right now!"
She was breathing hard as she stared at him, waiting for an explanation.
"Then stake me," he said simply, taking a step up and then walking past her up the stairs.
She stood staring for a moment before swirling around and running after him. She caught up with him at the top of the stairs, grabbing a hold of him and turning him around to face her again, her eyes blazing.
He looked at her, needing to hold her so badly that he wanted to scream but knowing that if he touched her now in any other way than to fight her she would only recoil from him.
"Look, Slayer, I don't wanna do this right now," he mumbled, turning away from her again.
She moved and stood in his way, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Well, to hell with what you want," she said, at least abandoning the yelling method. "Why did you do that? Why did you leave? Don't you know how little time we have; the ball thingy is the day after tomorrow, remember?"
He sighed, running a hand through his hair and then meeting her gaze.
"I left because I had to," he said. "Because I couldn't stand being in the same house as you, pet. Is that what you wanted to hear?"
He could see the sudden confusion in her eyes, stripping away the anger.
"That sounds kinda weird, Spike. Shouldn't it be the other way around?" she pointed out quizzically and he smiled a little.
"Isn't it like that already?" he retorted.
She felt a small wave of insecurity wash over her, looking into his eyes she was as always lost as to what emotion was buried deep down in them. The surface looked sad. He looked sad.
"Fine, then we forgive you THIS time, but don't do it again," she said and he almost laughed at her, he wanted to laugh at this whole situation.
He had decided even before he walked in through the door that he wasn't going to tell her about the chip. It would do more harm than good, at least with the belief of having that control over him she wouldn't feel like she had to watch every step he took as well as trying to concentrate on the mission at hand. No, she wouldn't believe him if he told her what had happened with green-eyes. He was as sure of that as he was of the sun's ability to kill him.
"You finished?" he asked, tilting his head to one side and meeting her gaze with his own.
She nodded and looked down, her eyes widening a little noticing the by now dried blood on his hands.
She grabbed one of them, staring at it, and then looked up at him.
"What is this?" she asked, her voice slightly trembling.
"Demon," he lied. "Had just fed and I beat the crap outta him, I can tell you that. The human was still alive. Thank God, right?"
She dropped his hand, her eyes narrowing as she looked at him.
"And you did this WHILE you were drunk out of your mind or AFTER?" she asked and he smiled that small smile again.
"A little bit of both, to be honest," he said and she looked at him.
"So you saved a life?" she asked, sounding so almost on the border to disbelieving that he had actually done this without her standing guard in the background that he shook his head at her, the hurt her words caused him flashing in his eyes.
"Yeah, I did," he answered her and added before he realized it: "And it's all your fault."
Her eyebrows shot up at that statement.
"My FAULT?" she asked, her tone sarcastic. "How can it be my FAULT?"
"Because you're so damn lovable, that's why," he mumbled. "Even when you're a full-blown bitch I can't deny the fact that I love you," he then added, his eyes resting in hers making her heart almost break, but her mind had always been more stubborn and she said:
"You don't know what love is."
His face looked as though it almost fell apart at that and then he took a slow step forward, letting a hand lightly place itself under her chin holding her gaze in his, his thumb and index finger sliding to take a gentle grip around her jaw bone making her not able to turn her head away.
She stared into those pools, stared into the hurt and the pain in them, and felt lost and alone and stripped of any knowledge she thought she might have had about anything.
Then he leaned down and his lips found hers, so softly that she almost wanted to cry he pressed his mouth against hers. She closed her eyes but opened them again when he pulled away, now finding something knife sharp in his gaze.
"Don't EVER say that to my face again," he said in a hushed voice that was laced with emotion before releasing her face, backing away from her.
Then he turned around and before she had a chance to react he was gone.
She couldn't move; the feeling of his lips on hers was so strong that she couldn't shake it and the look in his eyes was all that she could see before her own.
The sound of Sarah's voice almost made her jump and she turned unseeing eyes towards her new friend.
"What did he say?" Sarah asked gently and Buffy tried to focus her hazy gaze, then suddenly feeling a whirlwind inside sweeping away all the sudden mumbo-jumbo he had thrown her into and the so familiar convictions took over.
"Nothing important," she mumbled, her mind applauding, her heart gasping in horror; she easily ignored it, she didn't trust it anyway. "Nothing I haven't heard before," she added with an assuring smile to Sarah before walking past her and back into the drawing room.
***
Sarah opened the door to Spike's room without knocking; stepping inside she closed it silently.
"William," she said, seeing him sitting in the same place as that morning, in front of the window with a cup in his hands and she realized he must have gotten supper for himself.
"Precious," he said and turned to her, a bitterness and coldness indescribable surrounding him.
She walked up to him, falling on her knees at his side and grabbing him, pulling him close.
"Don't let her do this to you."
He could bite her, he could put on his game face and sink his fangs into her just like that, but here she was with her warm body pressed against him, her arms protectively surrounding him and her loving voice penetrating his brain with comforting whispers that only hurt him more.
".you have to know that, she is just so confused," she was mumbling, her mouth against his neck.
He rose, pulling her with him, and then took a firm hold of her arms, bending her grip open and stepping aside he let her go.
"I'm not as pathetic as you think," he said. "I will never tell her I love her again," he added and Sarah stared at him.
"You told her you.?"
"I did, yeah. And she is CONFUSED? What the hell is that supposed to mean to me, Sarah?" he asked, his voice harsh but his eyes filling with tears as he looked away.
She eyed him closely, her heart aching for him.
"I don't know, Will," she answered silently. "What did she say to you?" she then asked and he put the cup, still in his hand, down, turning to her again.
"Nothing that I haven't heard before," he answered her and she almost smiled at the coincidence of him using the same sentence Buffy had only half an hour earlier.
She swallowed it though; seeing that it would probably not be a very good idea considering the circumstances of the conversation she was having, or the circumstances through which Buffy had said it.
They were both quiet for a minute, lost in their own thoughts.
Spike couldn't get the feeling of Buffy's lips out if his head. No matter what he did and how he struggled she was on his mind. He felt so bloody helpless and he hated it, but what could he do? She would never love him, he knew it now. There was no use even hoping any more. He had cracked himself open for her to rummage around as she pleased so many times, and she hadn't had a clue what she was doing and so she hadn't been able to leave the parts that made him up alone and she had changed him, changed his being until it was unrecognizable. And where had it led him? To a dead end, a road with her name on it and now he was standing looking around for a bloody sign showing him how to get off it and there was NOTHING! Nothing to do, nowhere to go, all he could do was stand still.
He sighed, bringing a hand up to his eyes, rubbing them tiredly.
Sarah looked at him for a moment longer.
She had wanted to do what she was about to do for such a long time and now she couldn't resist it any longer, she HAD to ask him. Maybe it would be a way out for him AND Buffy, or maybe it would just be an eye-opener for them both, either way she needed to get it off her mind and so she opened her mouth and said:
"Stay here. When Buffy goes back, when this is all over with. William, stay here with me and my father."
He seemed to stiffen a little and then he turned to her, his eyes a little wide as she saw her request sink in.
"Don't answer now, Will. Think about it," she said and started to walk up to the door, pausing by his side to put a hand on one of his arms, looking at him with a slight smile she then continued up to the door and opened it.
Walking out she turned back to look at him and then closed the door silently.
She was more than sure that he would turn her down, but maybe.
She looked down the hall at the closed door to Buffy's room, hesitating a moment before shaking her head to herself.
No, it would probably not be a good idea to impose right now, she thought, and then went to the stairs, gliding down them to the second floor and into the drawing room where her father awaited.
***
Buffy was fiercely going through the notes she and Sarah had made while going through the books that afternoon. They had been able to find out some more about the ritual itself; it did indeed need eight more participants to form a circle. What also was needed were nine kinds of offerings, they had only been able to make out five. A white rose, a red piece of silk and a butterfly, a spider and a snake, all three alive. Sarah thought that the sixth had something to do with paper or some kind of wood but she wasn't at all sure.
Buffy stared at the papers scattered all over her bed, trying to remember what she had just read. With a frustrated sigh she gathered all the papers up in a pile for the sixth time since she had started the task and tried to get her focus off the still lingering sensation of his lips on her mouth.
"For crying out loud," she mumbled to herself, shaking her head. "A part of me is longing for him so badly it hurts," she pondered to herself, "but a bigger part KNOWS that it is as wrong as it can be and that USING him to. to fulfill any sexual frigging yearnings I might have is just disgusting behavior and I WON'T do it anymore! How could I.?" she added mumbling as the expression in his eyes appeared in her head.
Then she shook it off.
"Get my mind off it, that's all I have to do. Did perfectly fine for over two weeks, no need for me to go having huge relapses now just because of some measly little kiss," there was a knock on the door and she felt her heart betray her once again as it jumped up into her throat.
Dammit, Buffy, what if he used his VAMPIRE SENSES and just HEARD you?! her thoughts reprimanded her impatiently and her heart started galloping faster at the thought.
"Dammit, dammit," she swore as she got off the bed to walk up to the door.
At least she could just open it a little and not have to really face him, should it be HIM. And at least he wouldn't be able to come into the room. She grabbed the handle and opened it a tiny bit, popping an eye in the slit to see who it was. Sarah smiled tryingly at her and she sighed, relieved, before smiling back and opening the door.
"Hi," she said. "I was just going through the notes and stuff. Do you need them?" she asked as Sarah came into the room.
"No," she answered, shaking her head. "Thank you. I just wanted to say good night and that I'll see you tomorrow."
Buffy nodded, still smiling, and they embraced.
Sarah went back to the door but stopped in the doorway, turning back with a hesitant look on her face.
"You know that he loves you, but you do not believe him, am I right?" she asked slowly and Buffy swallowed, trying to get rid of the guilty feeling moving in sync with her heart beat.
"Well." she said, trying to think of a way to answer that didn't sound completely heartless.
Sarah smiled a little.
"Do you remember what I asked you last night?" Sarah wondered and Buffy looked at her, a little confused as she tried to find the question in her head. Then Sarah said: "I asked you if you truly believe that William.or Spike, is all evil. Maybe, before you answer the question I asked you tonight, you should find the true answer to THAT one?"
With that and another smile she stepped outside, closing the door with a gentle click.
Buffy stared at the doorknob. Wishing that she could just know what she should feel about this. Wishing that she had the answer to both questions, or scratch that, ALL questions clearly in her head.
"But that's not the way it works, is it?" she mumbled.
Then she sighed and went back to her bed; picking the papers up and putting them aside she crawled under the cool covers, feeling how tired she was.
She turned to the lamp on her bedside table, reaching for the knob to turn the carrageen down and the light out.
The room was soon in darkness and she sunk back against the pillows, closing her eyes she yawned and after only a few moments she was between sleep and wake, feeling her entire body relax away from the tumbling thoughts in her head.
She thought she heard the door open, but was too far away to really take any notice.
The bed softly tilted a little to the side as someone sat down and then there was a cool hand stroking her forehead, pulling some strands of hair out of her face.
She heard a soft voice she knew well whisper:
"Damn, you're so beautiful."
She tried to open her eyes, but her eyelids didn't want to work with her and soon sleep swept her away.