Olly: And then she's like, "What's that sticking out from under your
mattress?"
Sifl: Aw, dude. She didn't.
Olly: Yeah. So she picks up the mattress and finds my secret stash.
Sifl: What did she do?
Olly: Actually, she was kinda into it. She picked up one and started
looking at it, and she really liked it.
Sifl: Which one was that?
Olly: I think it was one of the Age Of Apocolypse ones.
Sifl: Wow. You know, that's awesome. Guys always hear stuff about how girls aren't into that stuff, and how they think it's dirty and degrades women. But it's really cool that you and your girl can share that stuff.
Olly: Yeah. Now I just have to make sure she doesn't find all of my pornography...oh wait. It's time for Precious Roy.
Precious Roy, Precious Roy. Makin' lots of suckers out of girls and boys.
(Sifl is wearing a sweater for a change, as his Halloween costume is to be dressed like Olly. Olly is wearing his Canadian Dracula outift.)
Olly: Hi folks. I'm Olly, and this is my friend Sifl, and have we got a deal for you today.
Sifl: You guys are really gonna love this one. This is probably the best product we've offered. Ever. And I don't say that a lot.
Olly: You don't. You really don't. And I'm going to have to agree with you on this one, Sifl. Folks, it's almost June, and you know what that means...Halloween! We have an entire warehouse full of Halloween merchandise just waiting to be sold at discount prices. Now folks, tell me if this scene is familiar. It's Halloween night, and you're all ready for candy. You've got your garbage bags ready for all the loot you're gonna get. You have your friends all over at your house, ready to go. But you DON'T-HAVE-A-COSTUME!!! You told your mother two months in advance that you wanted to be Wolverine. You told all your friends how cool your costume was going to be. You even started cutting little tiny holes on your hands so your new adamantium claws can shoot out easily. But where is it? Where is it, Mom? WHERE'S MY FREAK-ING COSTUME, MOM?
Sifl: Uh...yeah. You KNOW about the problems I've had with my mom getting me my costume.
Olly: You have some serious-ass, mom costume problems, my friend. But now, all of those worries are just a thing of the past. Behold the mighty Precious Roy Refrigerator Costume in all of its glory! Kneel in reverence before its mystical powers! WORSHIP IT AS YOUR NEW GOD!!!
(Cut to a shot of the plastic hand trying to open a refrigerator door. It fails, so it starts banging on the freezer.)
Sifl: Dude. I think you might have some issues here about Halloween...
Olly: Listen not to the unbeliever, folks. The Refrigerator Costume is the end-all, do-all of costumes. It's so realistic, no one will be able to tell it's even a costume! We've gone to great lengths to ensure the realism of this product. So far in fact, we've even added real, working Freon into its parts. People on the street will walk up to you and think, "Is this a costume, or a refrigerator? I wonder if I should put my warm soda in here?" Let's go to the phones and find out what some of our SATISFIED customers think about this quality product. Caller go ahead.
Caller One: Uh, yeah. I bought this Precious Roy Costume for my son, and everything was going great.
Sifl: Fantastic. Another proud owner.
Caller One: Well, we were. But when we got home and opened the door, little Jimmy was frozen inside a three foot block of ice.
Olly: See folks? DO YOU SEE? I told you we spared no expense in the making of this product. If you go playing around in a REAL refrigerator, of course you're going to freeze to death. Next caller.
Caller Two: Yes, I'm calling for a Mr. Sifl and a Mr. Olly. We have your new issues of Detective Comics and The Authority.
Olly: Whoa. Uh, we gotta go folks.
Sifl: Yeah. Later.
Sifl: Aw, dude. She didn't.
Olly: Yeah. So she picks up the mattress and finds my secret stash.
Sifl: What did she do?
Olly: Actually, she was kinda into it. She picked up one and started
looking at it, and she really liked it.
Sifl: Which one was that?
Olly: I think it was one of the Age Of Apocolypse ones.
Sifl: Wow. You know, that's awesome. Guys always hear stuff about how girls aren't into that stuff, and how they think it's dirty and degrades women. But it's really cool that you and your girl can share that stuff.
Olly: Yeah. Now I just have to make sure she doesn't find all of my pornography...oh wait. It's time for Precious Roy.
Precious Roy, Precious Roy. Makin' lots of suckers out of girls and boys.
(Sifl is wearing a sweater for a change, as his Halloween costume is to be dressed like Olly. Olly is wearing his Canadian Dracula outift.)
Olly: Hi folks. I'm Olly, and this is my friend Sifl, and have we got a deal for you today.
Sifl: You guys are really gonna love this one. This is probably the best product we've offered. Ever. And I don't say that a lot.
Olly: You don't. You really don't. And I'm going to have to agree with you on this one, Sifl. Folks, it's almost June, and you know what that means...Halloween! We have an entire warehouse full of Halloween merchandise just waiting to be sold at discount prices. Now folks, tell me if this scene is familiar. It's Halloween night, and you're all ready for candy. You've got your garbage bags ready for all the loot you're gonna get. You have your friends all over at your house, ready to go. But you DON'T-HAVE-A-COSTUME!!! You told your mother two months in advance that you wanted to be Wolverine. You told all your friends how cool your costume was going to be. You even started cutting little tiny holes on your hands so your new adamantium claws can shoot out easily. But where is it? Where is it, Mom? WHERE'S MY FREAK-ING COSTUME, MOM?
Sifl: Uh...yeah. You KNOW about the problems I've had with my mom getting me my costume.
Olly: You have some serious-ass, mom costume problems, my friend. But now, all of those worries are just a thing of the past. Behold the mighty Precious Roy Refrigerator Costume in all of its glory! Kneel in reverence before its mystical powers! WORSHIP IT AS YOUR NEW GOD!!!
(Cut to a shot of the plastic hand trying to open a refrigerator door. It fails, so it starts banging on the freezer.)
Sifl: Dude. I think you might have some issues here about Halloween...
Olly: Listen not to the unbeliever, folks. The Refrigerator Costume is the end-all, do-all of costumes. It's so realistic, no one will be able to tell it's even a costume! We've gone to great lengths to ensure the realism of this product. So far in fact, we've even added real, working Freon into its parts. People on the street will walk up to you and think, "Is this a costume, or a refrigerator? I wonder if I should put my warm soda in here?" Let's go to the phones and find out what some of our SATISFIED customers think about this quality product. Caller go ahead.
Caller One: Uh, yeah. I bought this Precious Roy Costume for my son, and everything was going great.
Sifl: Fantastic. Another proud owner.
Caller One: Well, we were. But when we got home and opened the door, little Jimmy was frozen inside a three foot block of ice.
Olly: See folks? DO YOU SEE? I told you we spared no expense in the making of this product. If you go playing around in a REAL refrigerator, of course you're going to freeze to death. Next caller.
Caller Two: Yes, I'm calling for a Mr. Sifl and a Mr. Olly. We have your new issues of Detective Comics and The Authority.
Olly: Whoa. Uh, we gotta go folks.
Sifl: Yeah. Later.