New Horizons: Chapter Thirty-Nine
By Annie
05-25-2002
Buffy grabbed the dirty plates she had just stacked up and lifted them off the table.
Clem got off his chair to help and she smiled at him thankfully.
She walked into the kitchen and put the plates in the sink, turning on the water to start to rinse them off as Clem came in after her, unloading some of the silverware and then Dawn followed with the pots.
"Willow sure can cook," Clem said and Buffy nodded, smiling at him again. "I'll go tell her," he added and went back into the dining room, the door closing behind him as Dawn turned to Buffy.
"You've been really quiet since yesterday," Dawn said silently and Buffy sighed a little, shrugging and keeping up with the rinsing followed by the bending down to put the plates in the dishwasher. "I know you wish that he was here.I do too. But, please, don't be scared of talking to me about stuff, okay? I AM here."
Buffy looked up at her at that, then she smiled.
"I know that," she said and Dawn smiled a little back. "I'm just. Whenever I think that I've gotten one aspect of the whole thing even slightly figured out something happens that just messes everything up again," she mumbled and Dawn walked over to her, giving her a quick hug.
"Don't worry," she said. "It'll come to you."
Buffy smiled as she looked at her sister.
"Since when did you become the all-wise-and-powerful?" she asked and Dawn smirked in a way that made Buffy's heart jump in her chest.
God, she's taking after him.
"Hey, I'm the Key, remember? Big mystical being and all I'm sure some wisdom was implanted somewhere!" Dawn stated with a smile and Buffy laughed a little at that.
"Right," she said. "Now get in there, the dessert's on me and I wanna fix it myself."
Dawn grinned at that, turned around and walked up to the door of the dining room, pushing it open and disappearing through it. Buffy watched the door close and then she sighed.
Something was off, something big, and she couldn't place it.
She was feeling so damn depressed that she didn't know what to do with herself and still she felt excited. She furrowed her brow as she turned back to the dishes.
I just have to grab a hold of myself and drag myself out of this stage of.reminiscing. she thought, starting to wash off the silverware. I just don't know how. HOW? I mean, God, it's so damn hard and I don't even know where to start. Maybe if-.
"Hello, love."
.-I don't think about it. But HOW do I NOT th-.
She froze.
The blood in her veins froze, the thoughts in her head froze, her heart froze in the middle of a beat and her entire being became one great big frozen statue as she swallowed hard.
Then she started trembling.
She hadn't just heard that. It hadn't been his voice sounding from behind her; it had been just another mirage. It couldn't have been his actual voice because.
So why am I not turning around? she thought, her hands shaking as they carefully put the silverware down on the counter beside the sink, and she dully dried them off against her jeans.
She drew an unsteady breath before turning her head around and looking straight into his eyes.
She took a step backwards without realizing it, leaning against the counter behind her and her eyes growing.
It wasn't him.
It isn't him!
He looked at her carefully, then he took a trying step forward and her heart decided that now was a good time to start beating again and as irregularly as it possibly could. She couldn't take her eyes from his and still she didn't believe it was he. There. No, not possible.
It's not him, her mind chanted as he took another step forward and said:
"I can see you're mad and I'm sorry 'bout that, but I want you to know that I didn't come back expecting anything, I only came back 'cause.well, I had to see if you were all right, for one. You'd been bleeding for a long time." he paused, looking into her eyes still widening and feeling even more insecure about it all, but not being able to resist taking the last step forward to stand before her. "Buffy," he then said gently. "If you tell me to leave Sunnydale, I will. Tonight. But I had to see you. It felt like we had some things left unsaid somehow. Or maybe that I had some."
He drew a shaky breath, not knowing why, as he looked into her eyes and seeing the shock rising in them.
God, she was so beautiful. He had missed her more than he thought was possible and here she was in front of him and he couldn't even touch her, too afraid of her snapping out of it and starting to tell him that he needed to go, get out.
The past few weeks had been even worse than being sentenced to watch her from a far ever could be and as he looked at her he felt even more that it had been the right decision, to see her at least one last time face to face.
Buffy swallowed hard again and then she slowly reached up a hand, still trembling, and placed it on his cheek.
Her whole body reacted to the sudden touch of his cool skin against hers and she felt the shock grow stronger as she tried to understand that he was there.
He was there.
He stared at her, a little surprised by her movement. She suddenly looked so vulnerable as she looked into his eyes and then he saw a small glow rise in them as realization seemed to finally hit her.
Buffy felt so many emotions at once that she thought they were going to drown her, but all they did was blur her sight as tears. Looking into his eyes she started to feel something mend inside of her.
He was there.
Then she took a step forward, the hand that had been on his cheek sliding behind his neck as she reached up and wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself close to him and feeling completely overwhelmed by the touch of his body finally against hers again she leaned her head against his shoulder and let the emotions have the better of her once and for all as she started crying.
Spike felt her body slide into his as she pulled herself closer and he was taken off guard by the tremble that went through her, her face against his shoulder she was suddenly crying hard and he felt his own eyes water as the relief rose in his chest.
She wasn't going to send him away.
He carefully put his arms around her; letting his hands gently slide over her back and pressing her against him. He had no idea for how long they stood there, the shoulder of his sweater was getting soaked with her salty tears and her shoulders kept shaking and then all of a sudden she pulled away from him, her eyes staring at him with an anger rising that was totally unexpected and he raised his eyebrows quizzically.
"You bastard!" she exclaimed at him and he recoiled slightly. "You rotten, damn bastard! You were at the Bronze last night, weren't you?" she demanded to know, her eyes now lit by that fire he loved so much and he nodded a little as an answer to her question.
Buffy had never been so angry with him in all the years they had known each other and she clenched her fists together as she raised her voice again.
"And you were here, outside, on the night before that, weren't you?"
He drew a small breath and then nodded again.
"God dammit, Spike! How the hell could you come back and not see me? How long have you been back?" she yelled at him, furious now and he took a few steps away from her.
"I didn't know if you wanted to see me, Slayer," he said, trying to keep his calm at the sudden outburst.
"How long?" she repeated and he straightened his back a little.
"Three days."
Her eyes grew large again at that disclosure and then she shook her head in disbelief.
"Three days?" she then asked, her face hardening and he sighed a little.
Guess the love fest was over, hello and good-bye, the usual tune of the love if his pitiful existence.
"Yes," he confirmed and she looked at him coldly. "Do you want me to leave?" he now asked hesitantly and she stared at him for a moment longer and then she nodded a little.
"Yes," she then said calmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I want you to leave."
He nodded, walking up to the door and pausing as his eyes landed on his duster. He smiled a little and took it off the hook, looking at her one last time before opening the door and stepping out into the night.
Buffy heard the door close and that small click made every nerve in her entire body scream at her WHAT-THE-HELL-ARE-YOU-DOING?!
She stood still for a moment longer and then she turned, ran up to the door and opened it. She hurried out into the backyard.
"Spike!" she called, still not grasping the fact that she could actually say that and he could hear her.
He was there!
He stopped, duster now pulled on, shaking his head a little and turning to her.
"Bloody hell, Slayer, should I stay or should I go?" he grumbled, getting more and more annoyed with this attitude she simply couldn't get rid of, could she?
She stopped as well, staring at him, and he suddenly got a feeling that there was more behind this. The look in her eyes was so confused.
"I." she started, trailing off and averting her eyes.
He squinted at her now, questioningly, and she sighed as she looked at him again.
"I want you to stay," she said and he raised his eyebrows at that.
"Are you sure? 'Cause I don't really appreciate this wear-and-tear-Spike theme you've got going, Slayer," he stated and she drew a breath.
"Buffy," she said and he stared at her.
"Spike," he said reaching out a hand at her and she couldn't help but smile a little.
"No, stupid, I want you to call me 'Buffy'," she stated and he lowered his hand.
"Well, I'll call you whatever the bloody hell I want, pet," he grumbled and she looked at him impatiently.
"Dammit, Spike, this isn't a contest, I'm not TELLING, I'm ASKING," she retorted and he looked at her.
She couldn't believe how much she had actually missed those eyes. Having him in front of her just made it so much clearer.
Then the kitchen door was suddenly torn open and Dawn come rushing outside. She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes locked on the vamp and then they grew round.
"Hi, niblet," he said a little tryingly, still not sure what to make of Buffy's sudden request, and Dawn stared at him for a fraction of a second longer before releasing a squeal and running up to him, throwing herself around his neck and hugging him hard.
He smiled a little as he put his arms around her, closing his eyes for a moment and then opening them to look at Buffy, who definitely looked more shocked than anything else. Still, he sensed something more.
"How did you get back?!" Dawn exclaimed, pulling herself from him but grabbing a firm hold of one of his hands as she started dragging him towards the kitchen door again. "You have to tell us everything! I TOLD Xander I heard your voice and then they wouldn't let me go see what was up when Buffy started barking like a mad dog. Oh," she stopped, turning to her sister. "Sorry, you were done, weren't you?"
Buffy raised her eyebrows slightly and then shrugged.
Dawn smiled widely at her and then added:
"Don't worry, I'll let you do the honors, I mean, I won't blab or anything, you know.about.the thing that you've had on your mind...."
Buffy's eyes enlarged at those words and she was starting to blush as she met Spike's gaze, an eyebrow cocked questioningly at her and then she smiled a little.
He was there.
Her whole body was really starting to get the fact straight now and the happiness was tentatively beginning to spread in her chest hand in hand with relief and a small anxiety over what the heck was supposed to come next.
She was in love with this man, how did she tell him that?
She closed her eyes.
I'm in love with this VAMPIRE, she corrected herself and then opened them again, slowly following her sister and the vamp back into the house she rested her eyes on his back, on his neck, on his hair, on his hand gripping her sister's. How do I tell him that?
***
Spike sat back in the couch, Dawn curled up beside him and Tara sitting on the space by her side. Buffy was seated in the armchair, her eyes resting in his, and he tried to bite back a smile but couldn't really and then she suddenly blushed slightly and looked away.
Clem, Xander and Anya were all standing to the right of the armchair and Willow was to his left, the whole assembly was waiting for him to start talking.
He looked away from Buffy to give Dawn a smile and she smiled back brightly. Then he turned his eyes back to the Slayer who seemed to have collected herself because now she was looking back with a self-confidence that he recognized.
He smiled again and then began:
"The mirror broke."
"Duh," Xander said and Spike looked at him coldly.
"Shut up or wear a gag, monkey boy," he grumbled and Xander was about to retort when he suddenly glanced at Buffy and closed his mouth, digging his hands into his pockets and mumbling:
"I'll take the 'shut up' for five-hundred..."
Spike's eyes grew a little in surprise, maybe monkey boy DID have a brain after all, and WHAT had that glance been about? He shook it off though, continuing:
"The demons. You know, the nice little brothers of the one who cut you," Buffy nodded with a frown. "They disappeared. Poof. Bloody incredible is what it was. I was sure they were gonna come back again but they didn't. You KNOW why I couldn't go with you, don't you?" he now asked and Buffy nodded a little.
"The mirror.it wouldn't have been able to hold us both," she mumbled, feeling the guilt grab at her again, feeling like it had been all her fault.
"Right," he now said, nodding. "Good. So, Sarah told me that I could pretend to want to stay all I wanted but that it didn't bloody well fool her and that she was 'determined' to get me back." He shook his head a little at the memory, and then smiled. "She always did know me," he added and Buffy smiled a little as well.
"She knew me too," she then said. "Better than myself at times."
Spike smiled wider at that, nodding.
They looked at each other for a moment longer and then he shook his head a little, picking up his explanation again:
"So, she started digging through this huge chest she had gotten from the old poof who gave her the mirror, it was full of papers and stuff, most of it was junk but she remembered that she had put some kind of a reversal spell or I don't know what the hell she called it. Anyways, she spent almost a week and a half going through that stupid chest and then she found it. She said that it was a huge chance because if you guys had tossed the mirror, or not replaced the glass, then I would end up in some random place or even dimension and then I could never get outta there."
Buffy looked at him, feeling her heart softly thump in her chest at the sound of his voice and she smiled a little.
"Oh, you think that's funny, Sl-.Buffy?" he asked and she smiled wider at the use of her name.
"No," she then answered him, shaking her head and growing serious.
He smiled a little.
"Good. Okay, so-.
"I was the one who wanted to put the glass back in," Dawn interrupted him and he looked down at her, smiling.
"Then you bloody well saved the life of this vamp, that's for sure," he said and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "Thank you, Lil'Bit."
"I knew you'd keep your promise," she whispered as she hugged him back. "I knew you'd come back again."
He smiled and released her, turning to Buffy to continue once more he noticed that her eyes were glittering with tears. He smirked, tilting his head a little to one side and she suddenly laughed. Wiping her eyes and shaking her head she kept on laughing. She finally calmed down and waved a hand at the questioning, surprised and relieved looks from her friends and then smiled brightly.
"Let's just listen," she said with a meaningful look at Spike and then she suddenly caught on to something he had just said and asked: "So you used THIS mirror again?"
Spike looked at her a little guiltily and then nodded.
"So, you were IN the house at some point three days ago?" she asked and he nodded again.
"Yeah, and then I left," he said and she looked at him before shrugging.
"Fine. Fine," she mumbled and now he smiled widely at her.
"What'd you think I'd do? Go through your drawers and see what I could grab before I made a run for it?"
A smile spread on her face as well as she nodded her head a little.
"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," she said wryly and he raised his eyebrows.
"Maybe you expected a 'Hi, honey, I'm home!'-note on the fridge door?" he now asked and she looked up at him, shaking her head.
"No, no. I didn't," she said and he paused a little at her sudden nervousness.
Something was up with her.
"Really?" he asked and she nodded now.
Dawn was trying to hide the big smile that was spreading on her face.
"I've MISSED this!" she couldn't help but exclaim. "You guys bickering like an old married couple!" she added, now grinning openly and Spike eyed her for a moment before he started tickling her until she was begging him to stop, which he did.
"Very entertaining," Buffy said, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows at the two, trying to push away the all too clear memory of the night he and she had spent together in his bed, when his hands had been tickling HER. "Could you please continue?" she now added and he nodded, still smiling.
"Sarah did the spell, we said our good-buys and I stepped through it. I landed here, which was a bloody relief, and then I left. Been hanging out at Willy's for the past few days and trying to decide what to do. Decided to see you again this afternoon but didn't wanna grab a blanket and run in here smelling like a 'bat out of hell'," he said that with a humorous glint in the corners of his eyes and she smiled at the memory of the fight where she had used that expression, "and so I thought I'd come during the night. Now. And here I am. Nothing dramatic, just plain magic, I s'pose."
Dawn hugged his chest with one arm and smiled.
"You're back and that's all that matters," she said and he smiled back at her.
"Yes, welcome back," Anya said, nodding. "We are all glad to have you here."
Spike stared at her in the light of that statement and then said with a glance at Xander:
"Nice of you to say, but something tells me that's not true."
Xander observed the vampire, Dawn sitting next to him on the couch as though he was the best thing since pink Starbursts and then he said something he never thought he would:
"No, it is. Welcome back, man," Spike's eyes filling with such surprise at that, that Xander thought that was reward enough for uttering those words, then he added: "Now things might finally start to get normal around here."
"Look at this little group of beings and tell me, what IS normal?" Willow said as she took a step forward and bent down to give Spike a hug.
Spike put a hesitant arm around her before she pulled away again and then he smiled a little at her.
"Oh, Will, don't go all braniac on me here, okay?" Xander asked and Willow smiled wider, looking up at him before turning back to Spike.
"I'm glad what I asked you that time helped," she said and he smiled, nodding. "You have to tell me when and how sometime," she added and he looked at her, slightly baffled and growing more surprised by the second.
What the hell? Had he stepped out in an alternate universe or something? It sure seemed like it! Red had always been kinda okay towards him but monkey boy? Wow, this was really mind-blowing stuff. Now all that was missing was Buffy bloody telling him she was in love with him and he would be absolutely convinced that something fishy was going on.
He turned his eyes on the Slayer and noticed that she met his gaze with an expression on her face that he couldn't really place and still there was something there.
She suddenly got up, turning to Clem.
"Ready to go?" she asked and Clem looked at her, then nodded before turning to Spike.
"You coming? I can clear out my stuff by tomorrow," Clem said and Spike drew a breath getting ready to get up when Buffy said:
"Or." she hesitated a moment. "Well, since Spike's already here.and you're already there. maybe it would be more practical." she trailed off and now Spike really stared at her.
"More practical what?" he asked, feeling like his chest was caving in with pure shock at what he anticipated her to say.
"Well, if you stayed here for a night or two." she said, raising her eyebrows a little with a questioning look.
Dawn smiled, nodding.
"Please, Spike, please stay here!" she pleaded but he hardly heard her as his eyes kept staring into Buffy's.
"Okay, then," she finally said, breaking eye contact and grabbing Clem by the arm before escorting him to the door. "I'm going for a quick patrol. Guys, great to see you, thanks for dinner, Will, and Dawn, make up the couch for Spike, okay? I'll be back later."
With that she opened the door and left, Clem trailing behind.
Spike stared at the now empty hall, swallowing hard and furrowing his brow slightly.
Did that just happen?
By Annie
05-25-2002
Buffy grabbed the dirty plates she had just stacked up and lifted them off the table.
Clem got off his chair to help and she smiled at him thankfully.
She walked into the kitchen and put the plates in the sink, turning on the water to start to rinse them off as Clem came in after her, unloading some of the silverware and then Dawn followed with the pots.
"Willow sure can cook," Clem said and Buffy nodded, smiling at him again. "I'll go tell her," he added and went back into the dining room, the door closing behind him as Dawn turned to Buffy.
"You've been really quiet since yesterday," Dawn said silently and Buffy sighed a little, shrugging and keeping up with the rinsing followed by the bending down to put the plates in the dishwasher. "I know you wish that he was here.I do too. But, please, don't be scared of talking to me about stuff, okay? I AM here."
Buffy looked up at her at that, then she smiled.
"I know that," she said and Dawn smiled a little back. "I'm just. Whenever I think that I've gotten one aspect of the whole thing even slightly figured out something happens that just messes everything up again," she mumbled and Dawn walked over to her, giving her a quick hug.
"Don't worry," she said. "It'll come to you."
Buffy smiled as she looked at her sister.
"Since when did you become the all-wise-and-powerful?" she asked and Dawn smirked in a way that made Buffy's heart jump in her chest.
God, she's taking after him.
"Hey, I'm the Key, remember? Big mystical being and all I'm sure some wisdom was implanted somewhere!" Dawn stated with a smile and Buffy laughed a little at that.
"Right," she said. "Now get in there, the dessert's on me and I wanna fix it myself."
Dawn grinned at that, turned around and walked up to the door of the dining room, pushing it open and disappearing through it. Buffy watched the door close and then she sighed.
Something was off, something big, and she couldn't place it.
She was feeling so damn depressed that she didn't know what to do with herself and still she felt excited. She furrowed her brow as she turned back to the dishes.
I just have to grab a hold of myself and drag myself out of this stage of.reminiscing. she thought, starting to wash off the silverware. I just don't know how. HOW? I mean, God, it's so damn hard and I don't even know where to start. Maybe if-.
"Hello, love."
.-I don't think about it. But HOW do I NOT th-.
She froze.
The blood in her veins froze, the thoughts in her head froze, her heart froze in the middle of a beat and her entire being became one great big frozen statue as she swallowed hard.
Then she started trembling.
She hadn't just heard that. It hadn't been his voice sounding from behind her; it had been just another mirage. It couldn't have been his actual voice because.
So why am I not turning around? she thought, her hands shaking as they carefully put the silverware down on the counter beside the sink, and she dully dried them off against her jeans.
She drew an unsteady breath before turning her head around and looking straight into his eyes.
She took a step backwards without realizing it, leaning against the counter behind her and her eyes growing.
It wasn't him.
It isn't him!
He looked at her carefully, then he took a trying step forward and her heart decided that now was a good time to start beating again and as irregularly as it possibly could. She couldn't take her eyes from his and still she didn't believe it was he. There. No, not possible.
It's not him, her mind chanted as he took another step forward and said:
"I can see you're mad and I'm sorry 'bout that, but I want you to know that I didn't come back expecting anything, I only came back 'cause.well, I had to see if you were all right, for one. You'd been bleeding for a long time." he paused, looking into her eyes still widening and feeling even more insecure about it all, but not being able to resist taking the last step forward to stand before her. "Buffy," he then said gently. "If you tell me to leave Sunnydale, I will. Tonight. But I had to see you. It felt like we had some things left unsaid somehow. Or maybe that I had some."
He drew a shaky breath, not knowing why, as he looked into her eyes and seeing the shock rising in them.
God, she was so beautiful. He had missed her more than he thought was possible and here she was in front of him and he couldn't even touch her, too afraid of her snapping out of it and starting to tell him that he needed to go, get out.
The past few weeks had been even worse than being sentenced to watch her from a far ever could be and as he looked at her he felt even more that it had been the right decision, to see her at least one last time face to face.
Buffy swallowed hard again and then she slowly reached up a hand, still trembling, and placed it on his cheek.
Her whole body reacted to the sudden touch of his cool skin against hers and she felt the shock grow stronger as she tried to understand that he was there.
He was there.
He stared at her, a little surprised by her movement. She suddenly looked so vulnerable as she looked into his eyes and then he saw a small glow rise in them as realization seemed to finally hit her.
Buffy felt so many emotions at once that she thought they were going to drown her, but all they did was blur her sight as tears. Looking into his eyes she started to feel something mend inside of her.
He was there.
Then she took a step forward, the hand that had been on his cheek sliding behind his neck as she reached up and wrapped her arms around him, pulling herself close to him and feeling completely overwhelmed by the touch of his body finally against hers again she leaned her head against his shoulder and let the emotions have the better of her once and for all as she started crying.
Spike felt her body slide into his as she pulled herself closer and he was taken off guard by the tremble that went through her, her face against his shoulder she was suddenly crying hard and he felt his own eyes water as the relief rose in his chest.
She wasn't going to send him away.
He carefully put his arms around her; letting his hands gently slide over her back and pressing her against him. He had no idea for how long they stood there, the shoulder of his sweater was getting soaked with her salty tears and her shoulders kept shaking and then all of a sudden she pulled away from him, her eyes staring at him with an anger rising that was totally unexpected and he raised his eyebrows quizzically.
"You bastard!" she exclaimed at him and he recoiled slightly. "You rotten, damn bastard! You were at the Bronze last night, weren't you?" she demanded to know, her eyes now lit by that fire he loved so much and he nodded a little as an answer to her question.
Buffy had never been so angry with him in all the years they had known each other and she clenched her fists together as she raised her voice again.
"And you were here, outside, on the night before that, weren't you?"
He drew a small breath and then nodded again.
"God dammit, Spike! How the hell could you come back and not see me? How long have you been back?" she yelled at him, furious now and he took a few steps away from her.
"I didn't know if you wanted to see me, Slayer," he said, trying to keep his calm at the sudden outburst.
"How long?" she repeated and he straightened his back a little.
"Three days."
Her eyes grew large again at that disclosure and then she shook her head in disbelief.
"Three days?" she then asked, her face hardening and he sighed a little.
Guess the love fest was over, hello and good-bye, the usual tune of the love if his pitiful existence.
"Yes," he confirmed and she looked at him coldly. "Do you want me to leave?" he now asked hesitantly and she stared at him for a moment longer and then she nodded a little.
"Yes," she then said calmly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I want you to leave."
He nodded, walking up to the door and pausing as his eyes landed on his duster. He smiled a little and took it off the hook, looking at her one last time before opening the door and stepping out into the night.
Buffy heard the door close and that small click made every nerve in her entire body scream at her WHAT-THE-HELL-ARE-YOU-DOING?!
She stood still for a moment longer and then she turned, ran up to the door and opened it. She hurried out into the backyard.
"Spike!" she called, still not grasping the fact that she could actually say that and he could hear her.
He was there!
He stopped, duster now pulled on, shaking his head a little and turning to her.
"Bloody hell, Slayer, should I stay or should I go?" he grumbled, getting more and more annoyed with this attitude she simply couldn't get rid of, could she?
She stopped as well, staring at him, and he suddenly got a feeling that there was more behind this. The look in her eyes was so confused.
"I." she started, trailing off and averting her eyes.
He squinted at her now, questioningly, and she sighed as she looked at him again.
"I want you to stay," she said and he raised his eyebrows at that.
"Are you sure? 'Cause I don't really appreciate this wear-and-tear-Spike theme you've got going, Slayer," he stated and she drew a breath.
"Buffy," she said and he stared at her.
"Spike," he said reaching out a hand at her and she couldn't help but smile a little.
"No, stupid, I want you to call me 'Buffy'," she stated and he lowered his hand.
"Well, I'll call you whatever the bloody hell I want, pet," he grumbled and she looked at him impatiently.
"Dammit, Spike, this isn't a contest, I'm not TELLING, I'm ASKING," she retorted and he looked at her.
She couldn't believe how much she had actually missed those eyes. Having him in front of her just made it so much clearer.
Then the kitchen door was suddenly torn open and Dawn come rushing outside. She stopped dead in her tracks as her eyes locked on the vamp and then they grew round.
"Hi, niblet," he said a little tryingly, still not sure what to make of Buffy's sudden request, and Dawn stared at him for a fraction of a second longer before releasing a squeal and running up to him, throwing herself around his neck and hugging him hard.
He smiled a little as he put his arms around her, closing his eyes for a moment and then opening them to look at Buffy, who definitely looked more shocked than anything else. Still, he sensed something more.
"How did you get back?!" Dawn exclaimed, pulling herself from him but grabbing a firm hold of one of his hands as she started dragging him towards the kitchen door again. "You have to tell us everything! I TOLD Xander I heard your voice and then they wouldn't let me go see what was up when Buffy started barking like a mad dog. Oh," she stopped, turning to her sister. "Sorry, you were done, weren't you?"
Buffy raised her eyebrows slightly and then shrugged.
Dawn smiled widely at her and then added:
"Don't worry, I'll let you do the honors, I mean, I won't blab or anything, you know.about.the thing that you've had on your mind...."
Buffy's eyes enlarged at those words and she was starting to blush as she met Spike's gaze, an eyebrow cocked questioningly at her and then she smiled a little.
He was there.
Her whole body was really starting to get the fact straight now and the happiness was tentatively beginning to spread in her chest hand in hand with relief and a small anxiety over what the heck was supposed to come next.
She was in love with this man, how did she tell him that?
She closed her eyes.
I'm in love with this VAMPIRE, she corrected herself and then opened them again, slowly following her sister and the vamp back into the house she rested her eyes on his back, on his neck, on his hair, on his hand gripping her sister's. How do I tell him that?
***
Spike sat back in the couch, Dawn curled up beside him and Tara sitting on the space by her side. Buffy was seated in the armchair, her eyes resting in his, and he tried to bite back a smile but couldn't really and then she suddenly blushed slightly and looked away.
Clem, Xander and Anya were all standing to the right of the armchair and Willow was to his left, the whole assembly was waiting for him to start talking.
He looked away from Buffy to give Dawn a smile and she smiled back brightly. Then he turned his eyes back to the Slayer who seemed to have collected herself because now she was looking back with a self-confidence that he recognized.
He smiled again and then began:
"The mirror broke."
"Duh," Xander said and Spike looked at him coldly.
"Shut up or wear a gag, monkey boy," he grumbled and Xander was about to retort when he suddenly glanced at Buffy and closed his mouth, digging his hands into his pockets and mumbling:
"I'll take the 'shut up' for five-hundred..."
Spike's eyes grew a little in surprise, maybe monkey boy DID have a brain after all, and WHAT had that glance been about? He shook it off though, continuing:
"The demons. You know, the nice little brothers of the one who cut you," Buffy nodded with a frown. "They disappeared. Poof. Bloody incredible is what it was. I was sure they were gonna come back again but they didn't. You KNOW why I couldn't go with you, don't you?" he now asked and Buffy nodded a little.
"The mirror.it wouldn't have been able to hold us both," she mumbled, feeling the guilt grab at her again, feeling like it had been all her fault.
"Right," he now said, nodding. "Good. So, Sarah told me that I could pretend to want to stay all I wanted but that it didn't bloody well fool her and that she was 'determined' to get me back." He shook his head a little at the memory, and then smiled. "She always did know me," he added and Buffy smiled a little as well.
"She knew me too," she then said. "Better than myself at times."
Spike smiled wider at that, nodding.
They looked at each other for a moment longer and then he shook his head a little, picking up his explanation again:
"So, she started digging through this huge chest she had gotten from the old poof who gave her the mirror, it was full of papers and stuff, most of it was junk but she remembered that she had put some kind of a reversal spell or I don't know what the hell she called it. Anyways, she spent almost a week and a half going through that stupid chest and then she found it. She said that it was a huge chance because if you guys had tossed the mirror, or not replaced the glass, then I would end up in some random place or even dimension and then I could never get outta there."
Buffy looked at him, feeling her heart softly thump in her chest at the sound of his voice and she smiled a little.
"Oh, you think that's funny, Sl-.Buffy?" he asked and she smiled wider at the use of her name.
"No," she then answered him, shaking her head and growing serious.
He smiled a little.
"Good. Okay, so-.
"I was the one who wanted to put the glass back in," Dawn interrupted him and he looked down at her, smiling.
"Then you bloody well saved the life of this vamp, that's for sure," he said and put an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. "Thank you, Lil'Bit."
"I knew you'd keep your promise," she whispered as she hugged him back. "I knew you'd come back again."
He smiled and released her, turning to Buffy to continue once more he noticed that her eyes were glittering with tears. He smirked, tilting his head a little to one side and she suddenly laughed. Wiping her eyes and shaking her head she kept on laughing. She finally calmed down and waved a hand at the questioning, surprised and relieved looks from her friends and then smiled brightly.
"Let's just listen," she said with a meaningful look at Spike and then she suddenly caught on to something he had just said and asked: "So you used THIS mirror again?"
Spike looked at her a little guiltily and then nodded.
"So, you were IN the house at some point three days ago?" she asked and he nodded again.
"Yeah, and then I left," he said and she looked at him before shrugging.
"Fine. Fine," she mumbled and now he smiled widely at her.
"What'd you think I'd do? Go through your drawers and see what I could grab before I made a run for it?"
A smile spread on her face as well as she nodded her head a little.
"I wouldn't expect anything less from you," she said wryly and he raised his eyebrows.
"Maybe you expected a 'Hi, honey, I'm home!'-note on the fridge door?" he now asked and she looked up at him, shaking her head.
"No, no. I didn't," she said and he paused a little at her sudden nervousness.
Something was up with her.
"Really?" he asked and she nodded now.
Dawn was trying to hide the big smile that was spreading on her face.
"I've MISSED this!" she couldn't help but exclaim. "You guys bickering like an old married couple!" she added, now grinning openly and Spike eyed her for a moment before he started tickling her until she was begging him to stop, which he did.
"Very entertaining," Buffy said, crossing her arms over her chest and raising her eyebrows at the two, trying to push away the all too clear memory of the night he and she had spent together in his bed, when his hands had been tickling HER. "Could you please continue?" she now added and he nodded, still smiling.
"Sarah did the spell, we said our good-buys and I stepped through it. I landed here, which was a bloody relief, and then I left. Been hanging out at Willy's for the past few days and trying to decide what to do. Decided to see you again this afternoon but didn't wanna grab a blanket and run in here smelling like a 'bat out of hell'," he said that with a humorous glint in the corners of his eyes and she smiled at the memory of the fight where she had used that expression, "and so I thought I'd come during the night. Now. And here I am. Nothing dramatic, just plain magic, I s'pose."
Dawn hugged his chest with one arm and smiled.
"You're back and that's all that matters," she said and he smiled back at her.
"Yes, welcome back," Anya said, nodding. "We are all glad to have you here."
Spike stared at her in the light of that statement and then said with a glance at Xander:
"Nice of you to say, but something tells me that's not true."
Xander observed the vampire, Dawn sitting next to him on the couch as though he was the best thing since pink Starbursts and then he said something he never thought he would:
"No, it is. Welcome back, man," Spike's eyes filling with such surprise at that, that Xander thought that was reward enough for uttering those words, then he added: "Now things might finally start to get normal around here."
"Look at this little group of beings and tell me, what IS normal?" Willow said as she took a step forward and bent down to give Spike a hug.
Spike put a hesitant arm around her before she pulled away again and then he smiled a little at her.
"Oh, Will, don't go all braniac on me here, okay?" Xander asked and Willow smiled wider, looking up at him before turning back to Spike.
"I'm glad what I asked you that time helped," she said and he smiled, nodding. "You have to tell me when and how sometime," she added and he looked at her, slightly baffled and growing more surprised by the second.
What the hell? Had he stepped out in an alternate universe or something? It sure seemed like it! Red had always been kinda okay towards him but monkey boy? Wow, this was really mind-blowing stuff. Now all that was missing was Buffy bloody telling him she was in love with him and he would be absolutely convinced that something fishy was going on.
He turned his eyes on the Slayer and noticed that she met his gaze with an expression on her face that he couldn't really place and still there was something there.
She suddenly got up, turning to Clem.
"Ready to go?" she asked and Clem looked at her, then nodded before turning to Spike.
"You coming? I can clear out my stuff by tomorrow," Clem said and Spike drew a breath getting ready to get up when Buffy said:
"Or." she hesitated a moment. "Well, since Spike's already here.and you're already there. maybe it would be more practical." she trailed off and now Spike really stared at her.
"More practical what?" he asked, feeling like his chest was caving in with pure shock at what he anticipated her to say.
"Well, if you stayed here for a night or two." she said, raising her eyebrows a little with a questioning look.
Dawn smiled, nodding.
"Please, Spike, please stay here!" she pleaded but he hardly heard her as his eyes kept staring into Buffy's.
"Okay, then," she finally said, breaking eye contact and grabbing Clem by the arm before escorting him to the door. "I'm going for a quick patrol. Guys, great to see you, thanks for dinner, Will, and Dawn, make up the couch for Spike, okay? I'll be back later."
With that she opened the door and left, Clem trailing behind.
Spike stared at the now empty hall, swallowing hard and furrowing his brow slightly.
Did that just happen?