New Horizons: Chapter Fifty-Three
The Continuance
By Annie
06-10-2002
Pregnant.
The word seemed to fill the entire room until it was as though it would make the walls fold outwards. And then it was stopped by Buffy who burst out laughing uncontrollably. Putting one hand at her side, bending forward slightly and shaking her head she kept on doing that.
Spike stared at the Watcher, then at Buffy who if nothing else seemed to border on either hysteria or complete melt down, then back at the Watcher who observed the Slayer patiently.
Buffy finally started drawing deep breaths, shaking her head slightly again and straightening her back she dried the tears from her eyes as she looked at Giles with a big smile on her lips.
"Very funny," she said. "Fine, if you wanted my attention you've got it," she added. "Let's talk."
She was about to move forward when her eyes locked in Giles' again and her smiled faded slightly as she stared at him, he met her gaze firmly and calmly and then he smiled a little.
"You're with child, Buffy," he said and her eyes grew as she started shaking her head, slowly this time, getting Spike worried that she'd freak again, his mind too clogged in shock and confusion to even start to focus on the matter actually at hand.
All he could think was a big blur of nothings that didn't add up to much as he stared at her.
"But." she started, blinking and taking a step back. "But that's ridiculous," she stated. "I can't be. The only person I've been with is Spike and he.he can't."
Giles still met her eyes and now he smiled a little more.
She started trembling; swallowing hard as her eyes darted from her Watcher to her lover and she took another step back.
Spike's eyes were growing as well, trying to take in exactly what Giles was getting at as he turned his head to him. He was now coming down the steps and walking into the room, stopping before them and looking at them both before nodding a little.
"I have a lot to tell you," he said.
Buffy felt her mouth starting to grow dry and she had trouble breathing as she tried to even fathom the mere idea of a life growing inside of her. A child. Her child. How could that be possible?
"No." she mumbled and shook her head slowly, her hands going to her stomach without her realizing it and she looked up and straight at Giles before she looked away again and started walking towards the door. "No, how can this be happening now?" she mumbled and then two strong hands grabbed her shoulders and swirled her around and she looked up at Spike, into his eyes, and in the confusion a sudden sense of home broke through and she drew a shaky breath.
"If this is OUR child," he said, his voice thick and his eyes filling with tears, "then what better time than now? I love you, Buffy," he added gently, "and you love me, and we're happy and strong together. Facing everything TOGETHER, remember? Don't be frightened, please, for us. Don't be scared, love."
He reached up a hand and placed it softly on her cheek as the dam broke and she started crying as well, wrapping her arms tight around his neck and stepping into him the shock slowly subsided when she felt his arms around her.
"God, I love you so much," she whispered into his ear and he smiled, moving his head to kiss her neck.
"I love you so much too," he murmured back and she smiled through the tears, relief starting to wash over her and then suddenly realization followed and her eyes grew wide as she pulled away slightly from him and turned her head to Giles.
"How is this.?" she began and then she trailed off, smiling a little, shaking her head slightly and sniffling as she let go of Spike, grabbing his hand instead and he felt his heart beating, for sure it was beating, that pulsating power inside of him had to have made it beat! "The Birth of Fire," she then said, voice now steadying and Giles smiled slightly.
"That's right, the Birth of Fire," he nodded and Spike, who was slowly coming down from wherever his mind had decided to fly off to, raised his eyebrows quizzically.
"The prophecy.?" he grumbled, really not following and then the small squeeze of Buffy's hand made fragments of the memories he had from when he was 'glowing', like she referred to it as, came thumping against his eyes and now he felt his heart jerk in his chest and it was beating it really was and she was standing in the bright light before him looking confused and bewildered and then her hand was on his chest and for a moment just a moment he was alive and. "Oh, dear God," he whispered, swallowing hard. "Oh, bloody hell."
Buffy didn't know how to react to this whole incredible revelation. Such a huge part of her brain was still slightly sedated from the shock of it all and the fact of actually being pregnant, actually in the process of becoming a.mother.it felt too strange to dress her thoughts in.
Giles looked at their stunned faces, the grasp they held on each others hands and for the first time he could truly look at them as beautiful. They were indescribably beautiful in that moment and he could almost feel how strong they were, how unbreakable their love was, how right it was that they would stand there together, now so utterly linked to the other.
And, Lord, how beautiful they were.
He drew a breath, pulling himself out of his thoughts and smiling a little again before reaching up and removing his glasses, polishing them for a moment and then replacing them and Buffy smiled at the gesture.
"There is so much to tell," he said.
"Then we should get started listening to it right now," Buffy stated and he nodded, still smiling and she returned it.
Spike looked down at her and she turned her head to meet his gaze. They looked at each other, and then she reached up a hand and pulled his face close, kissing him softly on the mouth before letting him go and drawing back slightly, smiling a little she then turned and followed Giles who had gone ahead out into the shop, dragging Spike along with her since their hands were still locked tightly together.
Dawn got off a chair as the Watcher exited the sparring room and she looked at him questioningly and then her head turned to the Slayer and the Vamp following in his footsteps.
"What's going on?" Dawn asked, raising her eyebrows. "Is everything alright?"
"Well," Buffy said, frowning slightly and then she smiled a hesitant smile as she looked up at Spike, who would have crumbled into dust on the spot at the incredible love that was resting in the depth of her eyes as she met his gaze if it hadn't been for the fact that he had too much.God, had he too much to stay existing for. "We THINK everything is alright," Buffy answered Dawn, still looking at Spike who drew a breath and smiled as well. "It kind of depends on Giles now," she added as she turned to Dawn and then glanced at the mentioned who had seated himself at the table.
"Come on then," he said and gestured to the empty seats next to him.
Dawn furrowed her brow a little at this and then she sighed.
"So, training's off?" she asked and both Buffy and Spike got a remorseful look on their faces. "Of course it is," she grumbled and then Giles said:
"If you sit down and listen to what I have to say I think that pout will give way for understanding, young lady."
Her eyes grew slightly at that and then she nodded, sitting down and turning her eyes on Buffy and Spike who carefully made their way up to the table as well.
Anya stayed behind the register. She had been closing up when Buffy came bursting through the door almost forty minutes earlier, but she sure as hell wasn't leaving until she knew exactly what was going on.
The Slayer and the Vamp sat down and looked at Giles who smiled comfortingly and then nodded a little as he drew a breath and began his story:
"How the prophecy came into my possession - and it did so when I was quite young - is a long and dreary part of history and it has absolutely nothing to do with the WHOLE of it, and so you'll have to forgive me, but I'm skipping that."
"Praise the Heavens," Spike grumbled and then he smirked a little as Giles gave him an impatient look and Buffy gave him a shove with her shoulder, shaking her head.
"I began studying it almost immediately and pretty soon I realized what it was and what it might mean. The fact that it was a prophecy was interesting, but the fact that it seemed to be destined to take place in our time was even more intriguing. I spent close to four years deciphering it, and I was almost done when matters arose that took me from my work and made it impossible for me to finish.
"Listening to your story of what happened in England was most fascinating, so much of it I already recognized. Still there are some things I think I can bring out in their true light. The lord, for example, was only a poor pond in this game."
"Poor my ass, the bugger was bloody loaded," Spike interrupted, but this time Giles only smiled.
"I would imagine, yes, but he was born for only one purpose and that was the incantation of the Birth. He was of course never meant to accomplish what he thought: world domination."
"Oh," Spike said with a small smile and Buffy smiled as well, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"Ring any bells?" she asked and he raised his eyebrows, slightly innocently, and shrugged.
"Well, there is a lot more," Giles now said before continuing: "The prophecy speaks of the Chosen, which I believe ISN'T a reference to the Chosen One because of small details in the text. It speaks of the Deprived, which I think is representing Spike being deprived his soul. Well, what you must understand is that the prophecy never spoke specifically of you two and I believe.well, we'll get to that later. The Chosen and the Deprived are spoken of quite a lot in the first part of the prophecy. Then it speaks of the journey through time, only it refers to it as 'the journey through space', which might be a little confusing. It tells of a love, it doesn't say YOUR love, THE love between Slayer and vampire but it speaks of a love that will change the world and 'bring forth a ruler to rule all'."
Spike listened attentively now, his mind still in the working process of taking this in. This was real, this was happening; he was going to be a.father? Impossible. Couldn't be. And yet it was slowly dawning on him.
He was going to be a father.
"What does that mean, though?" Buffy asked quietly. "It sounds so.end-of- the-worldy. Dooms day-y, I mean." she added and Giles nodded.
"The Birth of Fire sounds rather.serious, doesn't it? But the Birth, and this part Sarah was absolutely right about, took place inside of you, Buffy. It was enabled by the love between you and Spike, the passion between the two of you was what made the incantation gain power and then the you lending your soul, the essence of you, and giving him life was what enabled the whole. Well. It felt like a short period of time for you when you were surrounded by the light that you described, and it even did to the people around you, but on a different level you were gone for nearly an hour, don't ask me how I know. Of course, you can't remember that."
"Wish I could," Spike grumbled.
"The next time you interrupt me I'll stop telling this tale and leave you guessing the rest, is that understood?" Giles snapped and Spike smirked again, nodding.
"Sorry," he said with a shrug and Giles gave him a look telling him that he had meant what he said and Spike grew slightly serious.
"I remember one part of it, though," Buffy said, looking up at him, "and I'm pretty sure that was the last thing we did. When you grabbed my hand and put it against your chest, so that I could feel your heart beat," she elaborated with a loving smile and he returned it, nodding slightly.
"Yeah," he agreed, "I remember that too."
"So," Dawn's voice now sounded and they all turned their heads to her, "this whole Birth of Fire thingy was something good, something that was supposed to happen for the good guys, for once?"
Giles paused a moment and then said:
"Well, yes and no. With something this powerful comes both sides, of course. The vampires have known about this prophecy for a long time, at least the ancient ones, the masters that have been masters for a millennium or more, beings that are wise beyond imagination."
"Stop with the mood setting," Buffy now interrupted nervously. "What about them?"
Spike smiled a little and Giles sighed.
"They will come after the child," he answered and she raised her eyebrows at the same time as Spike's shot up, quizzically. "The part of the prophecy that Sarah couldn't interpret tells of the Birth of the Child, and the fact that with this Child comes the absolute demolition of any hopes the vampires might have held to gain control of the world and spread their species to every corner of it. something they have strived for since the first one of them was born."
Spike's eyes widened a little.
"How come I don't know anything about this whole Big Plan of the Vamps? I think I've been around long enough t-."
"Last warning," Giles interrupted and the vamp shut his mouth reluctantly. "Where was I.?"
"'The first one of them was born'," Dawn said helpfully and Giles smiled at her before nodding a little.
"Yes, of course. Your child will set a stop to any such hopes by means which are not described in the texts but.well, they don't really need to be. It is quite obvious that this Child will be incredibly powerful and that she'll."
"She?" Buffy asked, her eyes growing slightly and Giles bit his tongue, then he smiled a little and nodded.
"Yes, she."
"A daughter?" Buffy mumbled and turned to Spike who felt like his heart was about to explode at the mere thought that seemed to be growing inside his head, spreading its branches and nestling into every last part of his brain until all he could feel was this overwhelming fact that this WAS happening.
Buffy swallowed hard. She couldn't believe it. The man she loved, the man she needed with every fiber of her, the man she could never even imagine living without, was going to share the most important and incredible thing in the world with her. A thought that had never even crossed her mind before, and now it was shining in her head; bright and clear in its sudden truth.
"We're going to have a daughter," she whispered as she stared into his eyes and he smiled a little, nodding slowly and she saw all the emotions tumbling inside of her reflected in his gaze and then he kissed her softly.
Dawn stared at them, then she turned to Giles.
"What is going on here?" she asked silently and Giles smiled at her before answering:
"You're going to have a niece in the house of the Summers in about eight months or so," he answered just as quietly and now Dawn's eyes grew round as she turned her head back to the couple now holding each other close and whispering things no one else could hear to each other.
"Oh my God," Dawn whispered, a smile growing fast on her face. "They're gonna have a baby?" she added, turning to Giles who smiled as widely, feeling the pressure he had been under ever since that phone-call he had received start to release and he drew a small breath looking into the beaming gaze of the younger sister.
"Yes, Dawn," he confirmed and she turned her eyes back at the two.
Buffy closed her eyes, her arms around Spike's neck and her upper body pressed against his as she listened to what he was telling her. Over and over again he was thanking her and she felt how she was choking up, burying her face against his neck as she let the tears fall.
Spike didn't know what else to do than express his gratitude to her, tell her how incredible she was, how she had changed him and how he loved her for it. How he had been able to see his future the day he admitted to himself that he loved her, even though it had been clouded with hate for the weakness, disgust with the fact that it was even there and with fear at the fact that nothing made sense anymore.
How he had never really understood why he couldn't bring himself to leave, no matter how clear she made it that she could never return his feelings he hadn't been able to break free from her. And now it was all before him and the clouds had parted and he could see so clearly why: SHE was his future.
"What you've done for me, all the things you've done for me, in the last month I've felt more alive than I have in a hundred years and all because of you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."
She smiled and pulled her head back at his soft mumbling and he opened his eyes to look at her.
"This is HUGE!" Anya's voice suddenly burst out behind them and they both turned their heads to look at her as she came around the counter, her face slightly shocked as she stared at the four around the table. "This is huger than huge, this is.ALTERING! This will.this is." she trailed off, slightly flushing and the look of shock retracting slightly as she sighed, shaking her head. "This is incredible," she mumbled.
"Yes, quite," Giles agreed, getting to his feet. "I think we all could use a moment."
"No, wait," Buffy protested, gliding out of Spike's arms with a smile at him before standing as well. "There is so much I wanna know still. What about these vampires? Does the prophecy say anything about when they're coming or how they'll attack us? And does it say if she'll."she paused for a moment, a look of slight incomprehension gliding over her features before she seemingly focused again and looked up at him. "Does it say if she'll survive? I mean, it says that she's supposed to do all these things, but if it warns about the vampires then."
"You know how a prophecy works, Buffy," Giles interrupted gently. "The future is in truth as predictable as the weather, some times you're accurate on the larger scale of things and sometimes there are holes in your predictions and, well, there is just no way to really be sure. The prophecy tells of what the Child's destiny is, it says that she will be born, it says that a woman of power and strength will carry her and it says that the father will be without a soul. It doesn't say that all this will come true, only that it's supposed to. And it doesn't tell of the vampires, that's information that I obtained during my studies."
Buffy nodded, then frowned a little.
"What holes? Is there any holes?" she asked, worry in her voice and Giles smiled reassuringly.
"The events being so related to the actual text of the prophecy is to me quite extraordinary, what you told me happened in England, the events that took place and the order in which they did is very much the way they are written down in the prophecy. There are minor things that, as always, just aren't picked up on. Minor 'holes' such as the lord using you as bate and smaller things of that nature," he answered and she nodded again before saying:
"But the vampires."
"I'm sorry," Giles interrupted softly, "all I know is that they WILL come. I don't know when or how, Buffy. I'm sorry."
She smiled a little and nodded once more.
"I understand," she said and then she grew slightly serious as she started:
"So.really, when did you know that.I mean, you said that you've known about this prophecy thingy since you were younger so when.when did you figure out that.?" she trailed off and Giles stepped up to her, smiling again as he reached out and took both her hands in his.
"When Willow called me and told me that.they had done what they did, that they had brought you back. I remembered about it then but I still wasn't sure it had anything at all to do with you. Like I said, the prophecy never pointed to a name or a place, it only pointed to a year. And to the fact that the trigger of it being set in motion would be a sacrifice of blood for blood, which of course sounds rather encrypted when you first read it, and then the rising of the Chosen. Lord, Buffy, there are so many small things tied to this prophecy," he now stated, shaking his head slightly and letting her hands go again.
Buffy's head was swirling.
"How could you leave? If you suspected that this thing was true, how could you leave me like that?"
Giles turned to her, a regretful and pained expression on his face.
"Because I knew that you needed to learn how to stand on your own two feet, solidly, if you we're ever going to be able to deal with this. You were still clearly relying on me after you had been brought back, and I knew you had so many responsibilities already but the fact that you often shone away from the raising of Dawn was what got me slightly worried," he answered and Buffy glanced at her sister who met her gaze and then looked away.
"But why didn't you tell me?" she asked now and Giles smiled at her.
"First of all, I needed to go back to England to go through my notes in peace, I just wasn't at all sure that it even had anything to do with YOU, but something small inside of me just wouldn't let the thought go and so I was making comparisons on the few parts I did remember clearly while I was still here and one of them was the father being without a soul. Well, the only one lacking a soul in our group at the moment was a certain bleached vampire and needless to say I was rather.displeased at having to admit that he was the only suitable character for that part of the prophecy."
Spike cocked an eyebrow at that, goose bumps had spread on his shoulders and down his arms at the word 'father' being taken in the Watcher's mouth and he was quietly enjoying them, not really minding the man's remark and not really wanting to interrupt again he kept his mouth shut.
Buffy stared at Giles.
"This is unbelievable," she grumbled. "And I still can't believe you didn't tell me!"
Giles smiled wider.
"So, you are telling me that if I had come up to you five months or so ago and told you that, even though I wasn't quite sure, I suspected that SPIKE was going to father your child, that YOU were going to love him back just as much as he declared he loved you.you're telling me you would have believed me?"
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, frowning a little and searching for the right words.
Then she sighed. Five months ago she was telling him how she would never kiss him, never touch him ever again; five months ago she tore down a building with him.for the first time. She smiled a little at the sudden memory and then she grew serious, looking back at Giles before shaking her head with another sigh.
"No, I suppose I would have tried to get you a shrink," she stated and she heard Spike huff behind her back, turning to him with a smile she added: "Oh, honey, don't be so damn sensitive."
He smirked at that, raising his eyebrows invitingly, thinking of where their last fight, which those words had started if he recalled it right, had almost ended and she grinned at him before turning back to Giles.
"And," the latter now said, "I didn't want to tell you anything that might hurt you. This prophecy was extremely personal, and I just didn't think it would do you any good to know what might be about to happen before it did. It would probably have made you react differently to all of it, not to mention, the state you were in at the time I think you would have pulled away from Spike and shut him completely out of your life had you found out that his love was THAT real, and that your love was growing as well. I think.it would have been too much."
Buffy looked at him for a moment and then averted her eyes.
Being brought back had hurt, every single moment had hurt something indescribable, and Spike had somehow helped her deal, even though she didn't quite realize how much. The support of him had always been strong and sometimes she had needed it to keep herself standing. But she knew Giles was right.
If she had been told - at that point in her life when she was confused, lonely and feeling completely disconnected with herself - that she was not only going to become a.mother; she swallowed, it still was too big to comprehend. To have been told not only that, but that she was also going to fall in love with a creature that for years had been nothing but her enemy, a small part of her seeing him slowly and reluctantly grow into an ally to be partially relied on.
No, she wouldn't have believed that. She wouldn't have been able to process it.
Giles was right, she would have pushed the thought as well as him as far away as possible just to not have to deal with it.
She smiled at the sudden irony. She HAD tried and tried to push him away; that was all she had done, really. Used him over and over, expecting him to get fed up and just leave her alone. Still a part of her had hungered, had longed, had suffered quietly for him, over him not being closer.all the time. She had just been denying it so hard that soon she forgot it.
Like Willow had said: "I'm just surprised, kind of, that all that time when you were in his arms and he made you forget and feel better about everything, how he made it easier to face the everyday of your life, you didn't even for a moment consider that that might be where you belonged after all."
She hadn't.
Not for one moment had the thought crossed her mind; it had been too absurd, too far off.
And if she had been told that she was going to love him, to openly need him, she would have shut that hunger and longing and suffering into the darkest part of her brain and then disconnected it, and she would have avoided him to the point of not seeing him at all if he still had refused to leave Sunnydale.
The mere thought sent a shudder through her body as she turned her head and met his gaze. To not have him there, to not feel what she did for him right now as his eyes glittered with that warmth that always made her feel like it filled her up inside; it was unthinkable to her.
He smiled a little and reached out a hand, grabbing hers and carefully pulling her down on his lap as he placed one hand gently on her stomach and she felt a jolt of love race through her as she looked down at him, a smile curling her own lips as he met her gaze.
"A little baby girl, eh?" he said hoarsely and she felt her eyes grow dim with tears as she nodded.
"OUR baby girl," she whispered and he smiled, growing teary eyed himself.
A child, he thought. A daughter.
He closed his eyes and didn't know where to turn his aching heart as he for the first time in all these years started to feel true remorse over all the children he had given Dru, all the children he had sunken his teeth into, all the sisters and brothers he had robbed of their sibling, all the mothers and fathers he had robbed of their innocent little boy or .girl.
He bent forward, placing his face against Buffy's shoulder, and began to cry in deep and hard sobs.
The Continuance
By Annie
06-10-2002
Pregnant.
The word seemed to fill the entire room until it was as though it would make the walls fold outwards. And then it was stopped by Buffy who burst out laughing uncontrollably. Putting one hand at her side, bending forward slightly and shaking her head she kept on doing that.
Spike stared at the Watcher, then at Buffy who if nothing else seemed to border on either hysteria or complete melt down, then back at the Watcher who observed the Slayer patiently.
Buffy finally started drawing deep breaths, shaking her head slightly again and straightening her back she dried the tears from her eyes as she looked at Giles with a big smile on her lips.
"Very funny," she said. "Fine, if you wanted my attention you've got it," she added. "Let's talk."
She was about to move forward when her eyes locked in Giles' again and her smiled faded slightly as she stared at him, he met her gaze firmly and calmly and then he smiled a little.
"You're with child, Buffy," he said and her eyes grew as she started shaking her head, slowly this time, getting Spike worried that she'd freak again, his mind too clogged in shock and confusion to even start to focus on the matter actually at hand.
All he could think was a big blur of nothings that didn't add up to much as he stared at her.
"But." she started, blinking and taking a step back. "But that's ridiculous," she stated. "I can't be. The only person I've been with is Spike and he.he can't."
Giles still met her eyes and now he smiled a little more.
She started trembling; swallowing hard as her eyes darted from her Watcher to her lover and she took another step back.
Spike's eyes were growing as well, trying to take in exactly what Giles was getting at as he turned his head to him. He was now coming down the steps and walking into the room, stopping before them and looking at them both before nodding a little.
"I have a lot to tell you," he said.
Buffy felt her mouth starting to grow dry and she had trouble breathing as she tried to even fathom the mere idea of a life growing inside of her. A child. Her child. How could that be possible?
"No." she mumbled and shook her head slowly, her hands going to her stomach without her realizing it and she looked up and straight at Giles before she looked away again and started walking towards the door. "No, how can this be happening now?" she mumbled and then two strong hands grabbed her shoulders and swirled her around and she looked up at Spike, into his eyes, and in the confusion a sudden sense of home broke through and she drew a shaky breath.
"If this is OUR child," he said, his voice thick and his eyes filling with tears, "then what better time than now? I love you, Buffy," he added gently, "and you love me, and we're happy and strong together. Facing everything TOGETHER, remember? Don't be frightened, please, for us. Don't be scared, love."
He reached up a hand and placed it softly on her cheek as the dam broke and she started crying as well, wrapping her arms tight around his neck and stepping into him the shock slowly subsided when she felt his arms around her.
"God, I love you so much," she whispered into his ear and he smiled, moving his head to kiss her neck.
"I love you so much too," he murmured back and she smiled through the tears, relief starting to wash over her and then suddenly realization followed and her eyes grew wide as she pulled away slightly from him and turned her head to Giles.
"How is this.?" she began and then she trailed off, smiling a little, shaking her head slightly and sniffling as she let go of Spike, grabbing his hand instead and he felt his heart beating, for sure it was beating, that pulsating power inside of him had to have made it beat! "The Birth of Fire," she then said, voice now steadying and Giles smiled slightly.
"That's right, the Birth of Fire," he nodded and Spike, who was slowly coming down from wherever his mind had decided to fly off to, raised his eyebrows quizzically.
"The prophecy.?" he grumbled, really not following and then the small squeeze of Buffy's hand made fragments of the memories he had from when he was 'glowing', like she referred to it as, came thumping against his eyes and now he felt his heart jerk in his chest and it was beating it really was and she was standing in the bright light before him looking confused and bewildered and then her hand was on his chest and for a moment just a moment he was alive and. "Oh, dear God," he whispered, swallowing hard. "Oh, bloody hell."
Buffy didn't know how to react to this whole incredible revelation. Such a huge part of her brain was still slightly sedated from the shock of it all and the fact of actually being pregnant, actually in the process of becoming a.mother.it felt too strange to dress her thoughts in.
Giles looked at their stunned faces, the grasp they held on each others hands and for the first time he could truly look at them as beautiful. They were indescribably beautiful in that moment and he could almost feel how strong they were, how unbreakable their love was, how right it was that they would stand there together, now so utterly linked to the other.
And, Lord, how beautiful they were.
He drew a breath, pulling himself out of his thoughts and smiling a little again before reaching up and removing his glasses, polishing them for a moment and then replacing them and Buffy smiled at the gesture.
"There is so much to tell," he said.
"Then we should get started listening to it right now," Buffy stated and he nodded, still smiling and she returned it.
Spike looked down at her and she turned her head to meet his gaze. They looked at each other, and then she reached up a hand and pulled his face close, kissing him softly on the mouth before letting him go and drawing back slightly, smiling a little she then turned and followed Giles who had gone ahead out into the shop, dragging Spike along with her since their hands were still locked tightly together.
Dawn got off a chair as the Watcher exited the sparring room and she looked at him questioningly and then her head turned to the Slayer and the Vamp following in his footsteps.
"What's going on?" Dawn asked, raising her eyebrows. "Is everything alright?"
"Well," Buffy said, frowning slightly and then she smiled a hesitant smile as she looked up at Spike, who would have crumbled into dust on the spot at the incredible love that was resting in the depth of her eyes as she met his gaze if it hadn't been for the fact that he had too much.God, had he too much to stay existing for. "We THINK everything is alright," Buffy answered Dawn, still looking at Spike who drew a breath and smiled as well. "It kind of depends on Giles now," she added as she turned to Dawn and then glanced at the mentioned who had seated himself at the table.
"Come on then," he said and gestured to the empty seats next to him.
Dawn furrowed her brow a little at this and then she sighed.
"So, training's off?" she asked and both Buffy and Spike got a remorseful look on their faces. "Of course it is," she grumbled and then Giles said:
"If you sit down and listen to what I have to say I think that pout will give way for understanding, young lady."
Her eyes grew slightly at that and then she nodded, sitting down and turning her eyes on Buffy and Spike who carefully made their way up to the table as well.
Anya stayed behind the register. She had been closing up when Buffy came bursting through the door almost forty minutes earlier, but she sure as hell wasn't leaving until she knew exactly what was going on.
The Slayer and the Vamp sat down and looked at Giles who smiled comfortingly and then nodded a little as he drew a breath and began his story:
"How the prophecy came into my possession - and it did so when I was quite young - is a long and dreary part of history and it has absolutely nothing to do with the WHOLE of it, and so you'll have to forgive me, but I'm skipping that."
"Praise the Heavens," Spike grumbled and then he smirked a little as Giles gave him an impatient look and Buffy gave him a shove with her shoulder, shaking her head.
"I began studying it almost immediately and pretty soon I realized what it was and what it might mean. The fact that it was a prophecy was interesting, but the fact that it seemed to be destined to take place in our time was even more intriguing. I spent close to four years deciphering it, and I was almost done when matters arose that took me from my work and made it impossible for me to finish.
"Listening to your story of what happened in England was most fascinating, so much of it I already recognized. Still there are some things I think I can bring out in their true light. The lord, for example, was only a poor pond in this game."
"Poor my ass, the bugger was bloody loaded," Spike interrupted, but this time Giles only smiled.
"I would imagine, yes, but he was born for only one purpose and that was the incantation of the Birth. He was of course never meant to accomplish what he thought: world domination."
"Oh," Spike said with a small smile and Buffy smiled as well, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"Ring any bells?" she asked and he raised his eyebrows, slightly innocently, and shrugged.
"Well, there is a lot more," Giles now said before continuing: "The prophecy speaks of the Chosen, which I believe ISN'T a reference to the Chosen One because of small details in the text. It speaks of the Deprived, which I think is representing Spike being deprived his soul. Well, what you must understand is that the prophecy never spoke specifically of you two and I believe.well, we'll get to that later. The Chosen and the Deprived are spoken of quite a lot in the first part of the prophecy. Then it speaks of the journey through time, only it refers to it as 'the journey through space', which might be a little confusing. It tells of a love, it doesn't say YOUR love, THE love between Slayer and vampire but it speaks of a love that will change the world and 'bring forth a ruler to rule all'."
Spike listened attentively now, his mind still in the working process of taking this in. This was real, this was happening; he was going to be a.father? Impossible. Couldn't be. And yet it was slowly dawning on him.
He was going to be a father.
"What does that mean, though?" Buffy asked quietly. "It sounds so.end-of- the-worldy. Dooms day-y, I mean." she added and Giles nodded.
"The Birth of Fire sounds rather.serious, doesn't it? But the Birth, and this part Sarah was absolutely right about, took place inside of you, Buffy. It was enabled by the love between you and Spike, the passion between the two of you was what made the incantation gain power and then the you lending your soul, the essence of you, and giving him life was what enabled the whole. Well. It felt like a short period of time for you when you were surrounded by the light that you described, and it even did to the people around you, but on a different level you were gone for nearly an hour, don't ask me how I know. Of course, you can't remember that."
"Wish I could," Spike grumbled.
"The next time you interrupt me I'll stop telling this tale and leave you guessing the rest, is that understood?" Giles snapped and Spike smirked again, nodding.
"Sorry," he said with a shrug and Giles gave him a look telling him that he had meant what he said and Spike grew slightly serious.
"I remember one part of it, though," Buffy said, looking up at him, "and I'm pretty sure that was the last thing we did. When you grabbed my hand and put it against your chest, so that I could feel your heart beat," she elaborated with a loving smile and he returned it, nodding slightly.
"Yeah," he agreed, "I remember that too."
"So," Dawn's voice now sounded and they all turned their heads to her, "this whole Birth of Fire thingy was something good, something that was supposed to happen for the good guys, for once?"
Giles paused a moment and then said:
"Well, yes and no. With something this powerful comes both sides, of course. The vampires have known about this prophecy for a long time, at least the ancient ones, the masters that have been masters for a millennium or more, beings that are wise beyond imagination."
"Stop with the mood setting," Buffy now interrupted nervously. "What about them?"
Spike smiled a little and Giles sighed.
"They will come after the child," he answered and she raised her eyebrows at the same time as Spike's shot up, quizzically. "The part of the prophecy that Sarah couldn't interpret tells of the Birth of the Child, and the fact that with this Child comes the absolute demolition of any hopes the vampires might have held to gain control of the world and spread their species to every corner of it. something they have strived for since the first one of them was born."
Spike's eyes widened a little.
"How come I don't know anything about this whole Big Plan of the Vamps? I think I've been around long enough t-."
"Last warning," Giles interrupted and the vamp shut his mouth reluctantly. "Where was I.?"
"'The first one of them was born'," Dawn said helpfully and Giles smiled at her before nodding a little.
"Yes, of course. Your child will set a stop to any such hopes by means which are not described in the texts but.well, they don't really need to be. It is quite obvious that this Child will be incredibly powerful and that she'll."
"She?" Buffy asked, her eyes growing slightly and Giles bit his tongue, then he smiled a little and nodded.
"Yes, she."
"A daughter?" Buffy mumbled and turned to Spike who felt like his heart was about to explode at the mere thought that seemed to be growing inside his head, spreading its branches and nestling into every last part of his brain until all he could feel was this overwhelming fact that this WAS happening.
Buffy swallowed hard. She couldn't believe it. The man she loved, the man she needed with every fiber of her, the man she could never even imagine living without, was going to share the most important and incredible thing in the world with her. A thought that had never even crossed her mind before, and now it was shining in her head; bright and clear in its sudden truth.
"We're going to have a daughter," she whispered as she stared into his eyes and he smiled a little, nodding slowly and she saw all the emotions tumbling inside of her reflected in his gaze and then he kissed her softly.
Dawn stared at them, then she turned to Giles.
"What is going on here?" she asked silently and Giles smiled at her before answering:
"You're going to have a niece in the house of the Summers in about eight months or so," he answered just as quietly and now Dawn's eyes grew round as she turned her head back to the couple now holding each other close and whispering things no one else could hear to each other.
"Oh my God," Dawn whispered, a smile growing fast on her face. "They're gonna have a baby?" she added, turning to Giles who smiled as widely, feeling the pressure he had been under ever since that phone-call he had received start to release and he drew a small breath looking into the beaming gaze of the younger sister.
"Yes, Dawn," he confirmed and she turned her eyes back at the two.
Buffy closed her eyes, her arms around Spike's neck and her upper body pressed against his as she listened to what he was telling her. Over and over again he was thanking her and she felt how she was choking up, burying her face against his neck as she let the tears fall.
Spike didn't know what else to do than express his gratitude to her, tell her how incredible she was, how she had changed him and how he loved her for it. How he had been able to see his future the day he admitted to himself that he loved her, even though it had been clouded with hate for the weakness, disgust with the fact that it was even there and with fear at the fact that nothing made sense anymore.
How he had never really understood why he couldn't bring himself to leave, no matter how clear she made it that she could never return his feelings he hadn't been able to break free from her. And now it was all before him and the clouds had parted and he could see so clearly why: SHE was his future.
"What you've done for me, all the things you've done for me, in the last month I've felt more alive than I have in a hundred years and all because of you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you."
She smiled and pulled her head back at his soft mumbling and he opened his eyes to look at her.
"This is HUGE!" Anya's voice suddenly burst out behind them and they both turned their heads to look at her as she came around the counter, her face slightly shocked as she stared at the four around the table. "This is huger than huge, this is.ALTERING! This will.this is." she trailed off, slightly flushing and the look of shock retracting slightly as she sighed, shaking her head. "This is incredible," she mumbled.
"Yes, quite," Giles agreed, getting to his feet. "I think we all could use a moment."
"No, wait," Buffy protested, gliding out of Spike's arms with a smile at him before standing as well. "There is so much I wanna know still. What about these vampires? Does the prophecy say anything about when they're coming or how they'll attack us? And does it say if she'll."she paused for a moment, a look of slight incomprehension gliding over her features before she seemingly focused again and looked up at him. "Does it say if she'll survive? I mean, it says that she's supposed to do all these things, but if it warns about the vampires then."
"You know how a prophecy works, Buffy," Giles interrupted gently. "The future is in truth as predictable as the weather, some times you're accurate on the larger scale of things and sometimes there are holes in your predictions and, well, there is just no way to really be sure. The prophecy tells of what the Child's destiny is, it says that she will be born, it says that a woman of power and strength will carry her and it says that the father will be without a soul. It doesn't say that all this will come true, only that it's supposed to. And it doesn't tell of the vampires, that's information that I obtained during my studies."
Buffy nodded, then frowned a little.
"What holes? Is there any holes?" she asked, worry in her voice and Giles smiled reassuringly.
"The events being so related to the actual text of the prophecy is to me quite extraordinary, what you told me happened in England, the events that took place and the order in which they did is very much the way they are written down in the prophecy. There are minor things that, as always, just aren't picked up on. Minor 'holes' such as the lord using you as bate and smaller things of that nature," he answered and she nodded again before saying:
"But the vampires."
"I'm sorry," Giles interrupted softly, "all I know is that they WILL come. I don't know when or how, Buffy. I'm sorry."
She smiled a little and nodded once more.
"I understand," she said and then she grew slightly serious as she started:
"So.really, when did you know that.I mean, you said that you've known about this prophecy thingy since you were younger so when.when did you figure out that.?" she trailed off and Giles stepped up to her, smiling again as he reached out and took both her hands in his.
"When Willow called me and told me that.they had done what they did, that they had brought you back. I remembered about it then but I still wasn't sure it had anything at all to do with you. Like I said, the prophecy never pointed to a name or a place, it only pointed to a year. And to the fact that the trigger of it being set in motion would be a sacrifice of blood for blood, which of course sounds rather encrypted when you first read it, and then the rising of the Chosen. Lord, Buffy, there are so many small things tied to this prophecy," he now stated, shaking his head slightly and letting her hands go again.
Buffy's head was swirling.
"How could you leave? If you suspected that this thing was true, how could you leave me like that?"
Giles turned to her, a regretful and pained expression on his face.
"Because I knew that you needed to learn how to stand on your own two feet, solidly, if you we're ever going to be able to deal with this. You were still clearly relying on me after you had been brought back, and I knew you had so many responsibilities already but the fact that you often shone away from the raising of Dawn was what got me slightly worried," he answered and Buffy glanced at her sister who met her gaze and then looked away.
"But why didn't you tell me?" she asked now and Giles smiled at her.
"First of all, I needed to go back to England to go through my notes in peace, I just wasn't at all sure that it even had anything to do with YOU, but something small inside of me just wouldn't let the thought go and so I was making comparisons on the few parts I did remember clearly while I was still here and one of them was the father being without a soul. Well, the only one lacking a soul in our group at the moment was a certain bleached vampire and needless to say I was rather.displeased at having to admit that he was the only suitable character for that part of the prophecy."
Spike cocked an eyebrow at that, goose bumps had spread on his shoulders and down his arms at the word 'father' being taken in the Watcher's mouth and he was quietly enjoying them, not really minding the man's remark and not really wanting to interrupt again he kept his mouth shut.
Buffy stared at Giles.
"This is unbelievable," she grumbled. "And I still can't believe you didn't tell me!"
Giles smiled wider.
"So, you are telling me that if I had come up to you five months or so ago and told you that, even though I wasn't quite sure, I suspected that SPIKE was going to father your child, that YOU were going to love him back just as much as he declared he loved you.you're telling me you would have believed me?"
Buffy crossed her arms over her chest, frowning a little and searching for the right words.
Then she sighed. Five months ago she was telling him how she would never kiss him, never touch him ever again; five months ago she tore down a building with him.for the first time. She smiled a little at the sudden memory and then she grew serious, looking back at Giles before shaking her head with another sigh.
"No, I suppose I would have tried to get you a shrink," she stated and she heard Spike huff behind her back, turning to him with a smile she added: "Oh, honey, don't be so damn sensitive."
He smirked at that, raising his eyebrows invitingly, thinking of where their last fight, which those words had started if he recalled it right, had almost ended and she grinned at him before turning back to Giles.
"And," the latter now said, "I didn't want to tell you anything that might hurt you. This prophecy was extremely personal, and I just didn't think it would do you any good to know what might be about to happen before it did. It would probably have made you react differently to all of it, not to mention, the state you were in at the time I think you would have pulled away from Spike and shut him completely out of your life had you found out that his love was THAT real, and that your love was growing as well. I think.it would have been too much."
Buffy looked at him for a moment and then averted her eyes.
Being brought back had hurt, every single moment had hurt something indescribable, and Spike had somehow helped her deal, even though she didn't quite realize how much. The support of him had always been strong and sometimes she had needed it to keep herself standing. But she knew Giles was right.
If she had been told - at that point in her life when she was confused, lonely and feeling completely disconnected with herself - that she was not only going to become a.mother; she swallowed, it still was too big to comprehend. To have been told not only that, but that she was also going to fall in love with a creature that for years had been nothing but her enemy, a small part of her seeing him slowly and reluctantly grow into an ally to be partially relied on.
No, she wouldn't have believed that. She wouldn't have been able to process it.
Giles was right, she would have pushed the thought as well as him as far away as possible just to not have to deal with it.
She smiled at the sudden irony. She HAD tried and tried to push him away; that was all she had done, really. Used him over and over, expecting him to get fed up and just leave her alone. Still a part of her had hungered, had longed, had suffered quietly for him, over him not being closer.all the time. She had just been denying it so hard that soon she forgot it.
Like Willow had said: "I'm just surprised, kind of, that all that time when you were in his arms and he made you forget and feel better about everything, how he made it easier to face the everyday of your life, you didn't even for a moment consider that that might be where you belonged after all."
She hadn't.
Not for one moment had the thought crossed her mind; it had been too absurd, too far off.
And if she had been told that she was going to love him, to openly need him, she would have shut that hunger and longing and suffering into the darkest part of her brain and then disconnected it, and she would have avoided him to the point of not seeing him at all if he still had refused to leave Sunnydale.
The mere thought sent a shudder through her body as she turned her head and met his gaze. To not have him there, to not feel what she did for him right now as his eyes glittered with that warmth that always made her feel like it filled her up inside; it was unthinkable to her.
He smiled a little and reached out a hand, grabbing hers and carefully pulling her down on his lap as he placed one hand gently on her stomach and she felt a jolt of love race through her as she looked down at him, a smile curling her own lips as he met her gaze.
"A little baby girl, eh?" he said hoarsely and she felt her eyes grow dim with tears as she nodded.
"OUR baby girl," she whispered and he smiled, growing teary eyed himself.
A child, he thought. A daughter.
He closed his eyes and didn't know where to turn his aching heart as he for the first time in all these years started to feel true remorse over all the children he had given Dru, all the children he had sunken his teeth into, all the sisters and brothers he had robbed of their sibling, all the mothers and fathers he had robbed of their innocent little boy or .girl.
He bent forward, placing his face against Buffy's shoulder, and began to cry in deep and hard sobs.