A/N: Mwahaha! Ch.2...XD;; I beg for forgiveness for the stupid ness of the last chapter.
Disclaimer: Invader Zim is © Jhonen Vasquez. Will Smith is © ....ME! ^o^
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Gettin' Jiggy Wit It!
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Ch 2: Learning to Dance- Big Willie Style
"How am I supposed to find him in HERE?!?"
Dib pouted. He was standing in the large driveway that was the size of a racetrack, completely out of breath. A ridiculously large villa was in front of him, the main entrance at least 500 feet away. He knew that most movie stars had obscenely large homes, but this was just plain annoying. Who in the world needed three Olympic-sized pools, including one that was in the front yard?
The young paranormal investigator began to walk around the 'driveway', occasionally stopping to revive his lungs. He hoped that his seven-mile walk was all that it was worth-- which didn't include the three trips he had taken on the city bus.
After about 10 minutes, Dib arrived in front of two, large steel doors. A small code-puncher was on the side, having space for only three numbers. Dib grinned, seeing how easy it could have been for him to just break in.
Rolling up his right sleeve, he pushed 0-2-5. Nothing. After a couple of more tries, he pounded on the code-pad to reveal an extra panel that had numbers form 10 to 100.
Growling with frustration, he leaned against the doors and pounded. The left door swung open with ease.
"...Oh."
He slid his thin body through the entrance, letting the door shut behind him. With a small, thin smile forming on his face, he began to walk through a long hall to reach his destination-- until he met up with the Gardener.
"You are YOU doing here?"
Dib blinked. The Gardener was wearing bright, green overalls that covered a bright, pink shirt. He found this man to be AWFULLY familiar...
"Yes, I know you're thinking 'Hey, YOU'RE ELTON JOHN!'"
Dib blinked again. "That never crossed my mind. ARE you Elton John?"
The Gardener frowned. "Yes. But that's not the matter. WHY are you in here?"
Dib pulled out his briefcase. Elton cocked an eyebrow as Dib pulled out hundreds of different papers, all of them labeled DENIED.
After a while, he pulled out a small note. He flashed it in front of the famous performer's face.
"I wrote down Will's address to see if he can give me dancing lessons so that I can win the Skool Dancing Contest. I don't...really know how to dance...so I was just wondering if you could just let me--"
Elton laughed. "Of coarse I'll let you in!"
Dib smiled. But a large hand blocked him.
"But you first have to defeat me in battle!"
Dib ducked as his gardening shovel was swung at his head, barely getting hit. He dropped his case, and ran behind a large rabbit-shaped bush.
"Ugh...*now* what do I do?" he mumbled to himself. Bushes hardly gave good protection against angry gay musicians, so what was he to do now?
"Come out little boy...," he whispered. Dib stood up, and chucked a rock at his head. Elton gave out for a few seconds before rushing toward the bush. Dib gave out a girlish scream, and jumped to the right. Elton ended up slamming head-first into the concrete wall behind him, the shovel smacking him on the forehead.
"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man..."
Then he fainted.
Afraid that he was tricking him, Dib threw another rock at his for head, this time with no response. He grinned, and continued his way into the villa.
The place was huge. Inside, he saw spas, several Jacuzzis, miniature pools, and-- Jada Pinkett?
The thin woman stood before him, tapping her left foot. Dib stepped around her cautiously. She grabbed a hold of his collar, waiting for an answer.
"Hello? WHY did you break into *my* house."
Dib rolled his eyes. "I came to see if Will could give me dancing lessons."
Jada laughed, then let him go. "You actually expect to walk in here, and just ask for dancing lessons?"
Dib nodded somberly. True, the idea was unrealistic, but the world's fate was at stake! He couldn't just walk away now, *hoping* that Zim wouldn't win the contest.
He looked up at Jada. She groaned slightly.
"So you got past Elton John."
Dib nodded nervously.
"Well...ok...I'll try to see what I can do..."
She led Dib around the large villa. If he hadn't met Jada, he certainly would have gotten lost. The two arrived in a large room that was filled wall-to-wall with large speakers. Music echoed throughout the room, making Dib cover his ears. In a chair in the far back was a tall man wearing large black glasses. Jada clicked a button on the wall.
"Will..."
"Oh nah, hell nah--"
"WILL!""
Will looked up at his wife. She scowled at him, and shoved Dib in front of her.
"This little boy wants to learn how to dance."
Will pulled off the glasses, looked over at Dib, and burst out into laughter.
"HA!!...Oh. You're serious."
Jada left the room. Dib shivered under the glare of the rap artist.
"Since I'm being FORCED...why do you want to learn how to dance?"
Dib blushed. "Well, at our skool, there's this alien who is trying to win the annual dance for some kind of evil plot. I have to win to make sure that doesn't happen!"
Will stared. He mouthed something derogatory, then stood up and stretched.
"Ok, sonny...tell me what dances you *do* know."
Dib blinked. "Urrm..."
Will stared. 'Don't tell me..."
Dib looked down again. Will sighed.
"Do you know how to do the Harlem Shake?"
Dib looked up at Will again. "What's that?"
Will grinned, "Well, you just do a little something like..." He leaned forward and began to move his shoulders up and down in an odd rocking motion. Dib just stared stupidly as he watched his hips do the same thing. Will had rolled his eyes up the ceiling and cheered.
"So. Do ya think you can do it?"
Dib shook his head. "But I *did* find that interesting! Disturbing, but interesting."
Will grinned. "Try it. I won't laugh."
Dib turned red. he leaned forward and tried to copy the movement, but ended up rising and lowering his shoulders and hips all out of coordinate.
"Boy, if you call that the Harlem Shake--"
Dib growled. "I've never tried to dance, ok?!?"
Will snickered. "Maybe we should start out with something easier...like...," he turned around, "like SHIMMING. You do know how to shimmy, right?"
Dib stared.
"Urrm...ok...this is going to take a while..."
So, thus began the lessons. Everyday for the next three days, Will taught the young boy how to shimmy, how to shake, and all of that good stuff. Surprisingly, Dib became a very good dancer. On Thursday, Will reviewed all of the dances he knew, but had only one more test.
"Now Dib. I *know* you have been practicing this dance at home. I must see if you really know how to do it."
Dib nodded. He spun around, and lifted up his right leg slightly so that his toes were bent against the floor. He pushed his left leg back slowly.
"YOU DID IT!"
Dib was doing the moonwalk! A technique that cannot be mastered easily. Will clapped eagerly as Dib slid back to the far corner of the room.
"YES! Now Zim can't beat me FO SHO."
Will placed his hand on Dib's shoulder. "Dib..."
"Yes?"
"Don't you ever say 'fo sho' ever again."
Disclaimer: Invader Zim is © Jhonen Vasquez. Will Smith is © ....ME! ^o^
___________________________________________________________________
Gettin' Jiggy Wit It!
___________________________________________________________________
Ch 2: Learning to Dance- Big Willie Style
"How am I supposed to find him in HERE?!?"
Dib pouted. He was standing in the large driveway that was the size of a racetrack, completely out of breath. A ridiculously large villa was in front of him, the main entrance at least 500 feet away. He knew that most movie stars had obscenely large homes, but this was just plain annoying. Who in the world needed three Olympic-sized pools, including one that was in the front yard?
The young paranormal investigator began to walk around the 'driveway', occasionally stopping to revive his lungs. He hoped that his seven-mile walk was all that it was worth-- which didn't include the three trips he had taken on the city bus.
After about 10 minutes, Dib arrived in front of two, large steel doors. A small code-puncher was on the side, having space for only three numbers. Dib grinned, seeing how easy it could have been for him to just break in.
Rolling up his right sleeve, he pushed 0-2-5. Nothing. After a couple of more tries, he pounded on the code-pad to reveal an extra panel that had numbers form 10 to 100.
Growling with frustration, he leaned against the doors and pounded. The left door swung open with ease.
"...Oh."
He slid his thin body through the entrance, letting the door shut behind him. With a small, thin smile forming on his face, he began to walk through a long hall to reach his destination-- until he met up with the Gardener.
"You are YOU doing here?"
Dib blinked. The Gardener was wearing bright, green overalls that covered a bright, pink shirt. He found this man to be AWFULLY familiar...
"Yes, I know you're thinking 'Hey, YOU'RE ELTON JOHN!'"
Dib blinked again. "That never crossed my mind. ARE you Elton John?"
The Gardener frowned. "Yes. But that's not the matter. WHY are you in here?"
Dib pulled out his briefcase. Elton cocked an eyebrow as Dib pulled out hundreds of different papers, all of them labeled DENIED.
After a while, he pulled out a small note. He flashed it in front of the famous performer's face.
"I wrote down Will's address to see if he can give me dancing lessons so that I can win the Skool Dancing Contest. I don't...really know how to dance...so I was just wondering if you could just let me--"
Elton laughed. "Of coarse I'll let you in!"
Dib smiled. But a large hand blocked him.
"But you first have to defeat me in battle!"
Dib ducked as his gardening shovel was swung at his head, barely getting hit. He dropped his case, and ran behind a large rabbit-shaped bush.
"Ugh...*now* what do I do?" he mumbled to himself. Bushes hardly gave good protection against angry gay musicians, so what was he to do now?
"Come out little boy...," he whispered. Dib stood up, and chucked a rock at his head. Elton gave out for a few seconds before rushing toward the bush. Dib gave out a girlish scream, and jumped to the right. Elton ended up slamming head-first into the concrete wall behind him, the shovel smacking him on the forehead.
"Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids
In fact it's cold as hell
And there's no one there to raise them if you did
And all this science I don't understand
It's just my job five days a week
A rocket man, a rocket man..."
Then he fainted.
Afraid that he was tricking him, Dib threw another rock at his for head, this time with no response. He grinned, and continued his way into the villa.
The place was huge. Inside, he saw spas, several Jacuzzis, miniature pools, and-- Jada Pinkett?
The thin woman stood before him, tapping her left foot. Dib stepped around her cautiously. She grabbed a hold of his collar, waiting for an answer.
"Hello? WHY did you break into *my* house."
Dib rolled his eyes. "I came to see if Will could give me dancing lessons."
Jada laughed, then let him go. "You actually expect to walk in here, and just ask for dancing lessons?"
Dib nodded somberly. True, the idea was unrealistic, but the world's fate was at stake! He couldn't just walk away now, *hoping* that Zim wouldn't win the contest.
He looked up at Jada. She groaned slightly.
"So you got past Elton John."
Dib nodded nervously.
"Well...ok...I'll try to see what I can do..."
She led Dib around the large villa. If he hadn't met Jada, he certainly would have gotten lost. The two arrived in a large room that was filled wall-to-wall with large speakers. Music echoed throughout the room, making Dib cover his ears. In a chair in the far back was a tall man wearing large black glasses. Jada clicked a button on the wall.
"Will..."
"Oh nah, hell nah--"
"WILL!""
Will looked up at his wife. She scowled at him, and shoved Dib in front of her.
"This little boy wants to learn how to dance."
Will pulled off the glasses, looked over at Dib, and burst out into laughter.
"HA!!...Oh. You're serious."
Jada left the room. Dib shivered under the glare of the rap artist.
"Since I'm being FORCED...why do you want to learn how to dance?"
Dib blushed. "Well, at our skool, there's this alien who is trying to win the annual dance for some kind of evil plot. I have to win to make sure that doesn't happen!"
Will stared. He mouthed something derogatory, then stood up and stretched.
"Ok, sonny...tell me what dances you *do* know."
Dib blinked. "Urrm..."
Will stared. 'Don't tell me..."
Dib looked down again. Will sighed.
"Do you know how to do the Harlem Shake?"
Dib looked up at Will again. "What's that?"
Will grinned, "Well, you just do a little something like..." He leaned forward and began to move his shoulders up and down in an odd rocking motion. Dib just stared stupidly as he watched his hips do the same thing. Will had rolled his eyes up the ceiling and cheered.
"So. Do ya think you can do it?"
Dib shook his head. "But I *did* find that interesting! Disturbing, but interesting."
Will grinned. "Try it. I won't laugh."
Dib turned red. he leaned forward and tried to copy the movement, but ended up rising and lowering his shoulders and hips all out of coordinate.
"Boy, if you call that the Harlem Shake--"
Dib growled. "I've never tried to dance, ok?!?"
Will snickered. "Maybe we should start out with something easier...like...," he turned around, "like SHIMMING. You do know how to shimmy, right?"
Dib stared.
"Urrm...ok...this is going to take a while..."
So, thus began the lessons. Everyday for the next three days, Will taught the young boy how to shimmy, how to shake, and all of that good stuff. Surprisingly, Dib became a very good dancer. On Thursday, Will reviewed all of the dances he knew, but had only one more test.
"Now Dib. I *know* you have been practicing this dance at home. I must see if you really know how to do it."
Dib nodded. He spun around, and lifted up his right leg slightly so that his toes were bent against the floor. He pushed his left leg back slowly.
"YOU DID IT!"
Dib was doing the moonwalk! A technique that cannot be mastered easily. Will clapped eagerly as Dib slid back to the far corner of the room.
"YES! Now Zim can't beat me FO SHO."
Will placed his hand on Dib's shoulder. "Dib..."
"Yes?"
"Don't you ever say 'fo sho' ever again."