Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing, or the song "1921." They're both possession of their respectful creators. And if you ever had the silly little notion in your head that I did infact own Gundam Wing, I thank you for thinking that I am that brillaint.
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The Ups and Downs of Being a Soldier
This morning I woke up screaming. My brain is threatening to implode on me due to the severe nature of everything and everyone around me. And I wonder if what we're doing is right. That is, should we really be fighting at all? We're only 5 teenage boys, after all. Certainly not the material for the liberators of the colonies. But then again, what do I know. I'm just a kid, placed into this mess of a war at the hand of God.
But not everything about this has totally been bad.
For one, I met Heero. Somehow through all of this, he's kept me alive. In one blissful moment, Heero Yuy entered my life and I would forever be different.
I've got a feeling twenty one
Is going to be a good year.
Especially if you and me
See it in together.
The first time I met Heero, I hardly thought that this boy would soon become my friend, let alone the object of my affection. Unbelievably enough, I shot him. And would have killed him if not for the protesting of one Miss Relena Darlian.
After rescuing Heero from the medical facility, I soon became fascinated with him. Everything he did was irrational and odd, yet highly fascinating, and I found myself wanting to know more.
But Heero didn't want to seem to get to know me. Or anyone, for that matter. He is in his own little world inhabited by mobile suits and death.
So you think 21 is going to be a good year.
It could be for me and her,
But you and her-no never!
I had no reason to be over optimistic,
But somehow when you smiled
I could brave bad weather
Funny, in my wildest dreams I never imagined that my first love would be a boy. But he is. Heero is my first love. Maybe my last.
Of course, there's the obstacle of actually telling him this. I don't even know if he would ever consider seeing me that way. After all, he seems to be quite fond of Relena. Always following her around. Always rescuing her. Never for a moment questioning the rationality of his actions, only knowing that if it was for her, that it must be right.
And in that respect, I hate him.
So now Heero has gone off on another mission to save Relena, and I am left standing here, body shaking from the coldness of the air. Feeling detached and wondering if I'll ever see him again.
What about the boy?
What about the boy?
What about the boy?
He saw it all!
And I think to myself, when he comes back I'll tell him. That things will be different this time around. But they won't. Because I'm afraid. Afraid of rejection. Of being ridiculed, neglected.
Heero Yuy could never love me.
I am just a 15 year old boy, with a vengeance for blood and a silly grin plastered on my face.
But I'll continue to love him. No matter what. And when Heero steps out of that cockpit on his return from saving the universe, I'll be standing right there to greet him.
And one of these days, I'll get the courage to go up and tell him. I'll be able to say, "Heero Yuy, I love you."
You didn't hear it
You didn't see it.
You won't say nothing to no one
ever in your life.
You never heard it
Oh how absurd it
All seems without any proof.
You didn't hear it
You didn't see it
You never heard it not a word of it.
You won't say nothing to no one
Never tell a soul
What you know is the Truth.
"I love you, Heero."
"I love you too…Duo."