Hee! Hope you like this chapter! I did this very late so if there are a loada mistakes well, blame it on the sleepiness. Enjoy…
So Shadow was walked through the Deku Tree with her annoying partner following her. She saw the spider's web across the large hole and started to jump up and down on it repeatedly.
Shadow: Whee!!!! Bouncy bouncy bouncy bouncy!!
Navi: Hey!! Hey!! Hey!! Hey!! Hey!! Hey!! STOP BOUNCING ALREADY!!!
Shadow: But it's so much fun!!
Navi darts around trying to persuade Shadow to get off the spider's web and gives up realising that it's hopeless. She flies to the other end of the tree and then back, bashing into her and pushing her off balance.
Shadow: Waaaaaaa!!!! (Falls on the floor near a Deku Baba)
Deku Baba: Grr (Snap snap)
Shadow: Oh shut up. (Slices the Baba's head off)
Navi: (Flying up to the vines) Listen! Look at this wall! The vines growing on it give it a rough surface, maybe you can—
Shadow: Oh yeah!!! (Starts to climb it)
Navi: Heeeey!!! Let me finish!!!
Shadow climbed up the vine and looked around to find a chest near even more vines that had Skulltulas crawling all over it.
Shadow: Yay! Spider squishing time!!
Navi: Oi!!!! You're meant to open the chest first!!!!
Shadow: But I know my way around the dungeon anyway!! I don't need the Dungeon Map!!
Navi: Well fine, but you still need the slingshot!!!
Shadow: (Climbing the vines and trying to swat the fairy) Oh, shut up.
Then a Skulltula came and bit Shadow, knocking her straight off the vines and through the spider's web into the pool below.
Shadow: OWWWWWW!!!!!!! This water is way to shallow! I think I broke something!
Navi: Too bad it wasn't you neck… Hey, was that MEANT to happen?
Shadow: I don't think so…
Navi: See! You need the Fairy Slingshot! And some Deku Sticks! C'mon, back up.
Shadow: (Climbing the never-ending vines) I am NOT looking forward to the spending 7 years with you…
Meanwhile, back in Shadow's house……
Link: Whoa!! These tricks look so cool!!! There's a Kickflip to Indy! Hey, Darkslide!! One Foot Japan??! OH MY GODDESS HE PULLED OFF A 900!!!!!
Link got up, turning off the TV.
Link: I've GOT to get me one of those. Hmm… (Reaches into his pocket) I wonder if they take rupees, probably not. Let's go find some money…
So Link ransacked the entire house, well just Shadow's room actually. Her room was so messy that she probably wouldn't have noticed stuff was missing anyway. I mean seriously, you could takeaway 500 things from her room and it wouldn't look any different. But anyway, eventually, Link found three slips of paper with an old women's head on it, all saying '20'. (Yeah, I wish I had that much)
Link: (Sniffing it) Hmm, smells important. (I have no idea how something can smell important) This must be money!!!!!
Link happily skipped all the way to the Skateboard shop, well actually it was a long way away. In fact, it was so far that by the time he reached there he was panting for breath and crawling in exhaustion.
Link: This… is why I… need Navi… To tell me not to do stupid things like that!! (Looking up at the shop's sign) Ooooooo!!! 'Conspiracy'!! Wow! Even the place that sells the skateboards sounds cool!!!
He walked into the shop and gasped in awe at the amount of skateboards and surfboards and loadsa funky T-shirts there were on offer. He went up to the glass counter which had a load of skateboard parts in it, Link couldn't help but drool over them.
Lady at Counter: Umm, can I help you..?
Link: (Dumping the money on the counter and running off with one of the skateboards) Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaank yoooooooooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!
Lady at Counter: (Waving a £10 note) Wait sir! You forgot your change! I— (slips the money into her pocket) Oh well, I tried…
Link: (Giant grin growing on his face) Yay!!!! I can skate!!! Now to find a skate park… (Good luck Link, there are NO skate parks in my city!)
Then, my fellow author buddy came walking down the street to also buy a really cool skateboard.
Dark Angel: Heeeeeeey!!!!! YOU'RE LINK!!! Right?
Link: (Remembering the last time he told someone who he was) Maybe…
Dark Angel: Aww man!! That's the board I want!! Give it here!!!
Link: (Holding it above his head, away from her frantic jumping grasp) Go buy your own!! Why's this one so special?
Dark Angel: It looks like Tony Hawk's!! It's got the skully-birdy thing and everything! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!!!!
Link: (Running away) Nooo!!!!
Dark Angel: (Running after him) Hey!! Wait!! That's miiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!!!! Awww c'mon!!! I'll teach you cool tricks!!!
And now, back inside that giant tree…
Shadow: Ha!! See? I told you I know where I'm going!!
Shadow started to do a merry little jig after picking up the Fairy Slingshot.
Navi: (Whacking into her again) Stop dancing you weirdo!!!
Shadow: (Falling of the ledge) Waaaaaaaaa!!! (Lands) Ouch!!! What IS it with you and whacking into me? Can't I have ANY fun???
Navi: (Looking meanly) What do YOU think?
Shadow whipped out the Fairy Slingshot and bashed Navi over the head with it, semi-permanently knocking her out (No, she is NOT dead!! Yet… Mwa ha ha ha haaaa). Stuffing the tiny white blob into a sack that she suddenly had, she went outside and shot down all the Skulltulas on the vines.
Shadow: Ha! Payback you little insects!! Die!! DIIIIIEEEE!!!!
After realising that she was starting to sound a bit too much like a knife-wie— err I mean slingshot-wielding maniac (it just doesn't sound as intimidating) she climbed up the vines, stole the Compass and then stared at the biiiiiiiiig drop.
Shadow: Aww man!! I already broke the web, I should just climb down instead. Anyway, like I said before, the water is just too shallow. I probably WILL break my neck! Ah well, now to walk back without anyone attacking me and just—
Shadow got cut off by a Big Skulltula coming down and bashing her off the (high) cliff, knocking her aaaaaaaaaaaaall the way back down to the (dangerously shallow) water.
Shadow: (Upon impact) OOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! This would be SO much easier if I was 10!!!! Young Link doesn't know how easy he got it… (Checking to see if she broke anything) Hmm… I don't think so… (Hears something snap)
Slowly she got up, limping over to the door as a Deku Baba lurched out of the ground.
Deku Baba: Argh!!! (Snap snap)
Shadow: I SAID shut up!!! (Slices it)
A long stick, possibly a DEKU Stick appeared were the Deku Baba had died. (This is NOT like Pokémon, things DO die!!! Sorry kids…)
Shadow: Oooooo!!! Stick!! In fact, not just any stick, A DEKU STICK!!!! (Looks around) Oh dear, this is bad. I'm getting excited by looking at sticks. Oh well. (Skips to the door)
Unfortunately, Shadow forgot that you actually have to OPEN the door before you can skip through it.
Shadow: (Whacking into it) Oh yeah, I actually have to open the door before I can skip through it. And how many times am I gonna put 'Whack' in this fic? (I'm sorry, it's just such a useful word!)
Then, A DEKU SCRUB APPEARED!! (Hide the little children! Shield their eyes!!)
Deku Scrub: Nya! (Spit spit)
Shadow: Oh, now I know what broke my fall!! The Deku Shield! Oh wait… That's not good……
Then she got pelted by numerous Deku Nuts whacking, sorry, bashing (there we go) into her.
Shadow: (Whack) Ow. (Whack) Ow. (Whack) Ow. (Whack) Ow. (Whack) STOP HITTING ME ALREADY!!!!!!!!
Deku Scrub: Oh, sorry.
Shadow: (Staring at him) Sorry? SORRY??? I'll show you what sorry means you— Hold on a sec. You're not meant to stop!! You're meant to keep hitting me until I reflect it back you, prat!!
Deku Scrub: Really?
Shadow: YES!!!
Deku Scrub: People shoot them back? That's not nice. I only shoot nuts because people want them, are you SURE you don't want more.
Shadow: Y… You...? Because people want them????? You're not trying to kill me???
Deku Scrub: Goddess no. I wouldn't hurt a… umm… I wouldn't hurt you!
Shadow: (Unsheathing her swords) Well for someone who's not meant to kill, you're doing a very poor job—
Deku Scrub: Wait! Wait! I'll teach you something!!! Don't kill me, I have information!!! If you tilt the—
Shadow: Just open the door, Scrub.
Deku Scrub: Yes ma'am!!! (Ducks back into his grassy patch)
So, Shadow waked through into the next room. She saw a platform floating over a pool of water with spiked log rotating above it making a very annoying 'CLICK click click click click CLICK click click click click' sound (that IS how it goes!!!!)
Navi: (Waking up and flying up to Shadow) You don't—
Shadow: (finishing her sentence) Don't want to hear it, no. Is this right?
Navi: Aww who cares!! Just dive in the water and… Shadow..?
Whilst Navi was talking, Shadow had already jumped on the moving platform and the were both heading towards the spiked log.
Navi: Shadow?!!
Shadow: What is it, stupid fairy?
Navi: You're meant to jump in the water first!!! If you hit that log you'll lose half a Heart!!
Shadow: Heart? Ooooooh yeah!!! Hang on, (looks up in the top left corner of the… uhh, screen?) I don't see any Hearts…
Navi: Maybe Link took them with him.
Cut to Link…Link: (Pulling tricks off on the board) Heeeey!!! Look at meeeee!! I can griiiiiiiiind!!!
Dark Angel: See? I told you I'd teach you cool stuff!
Then Link saw someone else on the rail, grinding the OTHER way.
Link: Oh crap!! Watch out!!!
Guy: Huh—?
Before the guy could ollie out the way they both collided on the rail. Link fell down, landing on his left arm really hard.
Link: Owwwww!!!!
Guy: Hey dude, you okay?
Link: (Getting up and rubbing his arm) Man, that hurt!!!
Dark Angel: Shouldn't you be, umm, bleeding profusely by now?
Link: No! Look up there! They follow me wherever I go!
Dark Angel and the Guy look above Link and see three heart dangling above him, one's slightly darker than the other two.
Guy: Dude??? What the HELL are they??
Dark Angel: He's Link you twat!!! From a GAME!!!!
Guy: Oh yeah… That makes TOTAL sense!
Dark Angel: Well, actually… That's a point. What the heck are you doing here?
Link: Lessee, where do I start…?
Cut back to Shadow and Navi…Shadow: You know what that means? (Holding her arms up like Boris from Goldeneye) I am invincible!!!
Navi: No, you're just strange… Hey! The log! Look out!!
Shadow just took an effortless hop and jumped over the large piece of wood.
Navi: Wha—? How did you DO that?
Shadow: Well duh!! That may be big for a 10 year old but I'm 16!!! I could step over that thing if it wasn't for that moving platform.
Navi: Oh. Okay then. Anyway, come over here so I can bore with my lecture about how to push and pull a block. Press A when facing towards it to grab it. Whilst holding the block you can push or pull it by… Hey? Are you even listening?
Shadow: (Waking up) What? Sorry?
Navi: (Darting up and down across the room) Why do I even bother? Basically you use the Control Stick to—
Shadow: What the hell?? Control Stick?? In case you haven't noticed, NO ONE IS PLAYING THE GAME!!!!
Navi flew up to the camera and looked carefully through it. All she saw was an unmade blue bed and a lot of mess, and there were a lot of silver round things with holes in the middle.
Navi: That's really untidy. What are those things??
Shadow: What?
Navi: Those silver holey things.
Shadow: They're CD's!!! Don't you know anything?? I've got loads!!
Then, Shadow realised the ultimate horror for any greebo (person who listens to a lot of rock music all the time) who was stuck inside a video game.
Shadow: I CAN'T LISTEN TO MY MUSIC!!!!! NOOOOOO!!! I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS STRANGE GAME MUSIC INSTEAD!!!!!!!
Navi: (Sensing the chance to get rid of her easier) Well, the faster you complete the quest, the quicker you can get to your music then! You know, you're a strange one—
Before Navi could continue her annoying rant Shadow grabbed her and did the rest of the dungeon in double-quick time until eventually they were in the Boss room.
Shadow: (Trying to cope with the lack of brilliant rock music ((You know it's true!)) Singing one of her rock songs) Pushy little children!! With their fully automatics!! They like to push the weak around!!! (System Of A Down if you don't know!)
Navi: What on EARTH are you singing???????? You said game music was weird…
Shadow: Shut up!! I need my music!! Hey, what's that white writing in the middle of the room..?
Parasitic Armoured Arachnid
QUEEN GOHMA
The huge spider jumped down from the ceiling and the white letters became more obvious. Striking an evil pose, Gohma started to attack.
Shadow: (Looking at the words) So THAT'S how they do it…
Navi: Well, at least you stopped singing!
Shadow: That's 'cause I can't think of a song!! (Starts thinking of one) Hmm, I need inspiration dammit!!! Isn't there an electric guitar anywhere?
Navi: (Sarcastically) Yeah, because electric guitars are always found in the middle of big trees! Dumbass…
Queen Gohma: I can play a pretty mean base!!!
Shadow: Wha—? YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TALK!!!!!! And how the hell can you play a base guitar anyway, you have no fingers!!!!
Queen Gohma: Oh that's it!! I was gonna be nice to you but now I'm gonna have to kill you right now!!!!
Shadow: Like you weren't going to do that anyway…
Queen Gohma started to get very annoyed at the Sheikah-dressed girl and her eye started to glow a very dangerous red. (Hmm, maybe I should run? Nah…)
Queen Gohma: I'm gonna kill you and stop you from ever going home again!!!!
Navi: You know what that means?
Shadow: No.
Navi: You'll never get to listen to your music again!!!!! Think of all the repetitive Ocarina Songs you'll have to endure!!
Shadow: O_O NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! DIE EVIL SPIDER!!!!!!!
Without warning, Shadow thrust forward with her sword and caught straight through Gohma's eye. (Icky I know, c'mon!!! You shot Deku Seeds at her!! Imagined what it's like to be catapulted in the eye!!!) Then the giant spider died a very quick death and all was… not really well but close enough.
Shadow: Hey lookit!! There's a blue warp! My ticket outta here!
Navi: Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! You have to pick up the Heart Container first!!
Shadow: I don't actually!!! (That's true, you ever tried doing this game with just 3 Hearts?? Very VERY hard!!!) But what the hell, I'll get it anyway.
So she picked up the Heart Container and a box appeared underneath her as she held it high in the air for no apparent reason at all and boy this is a long sentence I think I'm going to stop it just about somewhere near here!!
Shadow: Okay, NOW can I go?
Navi: Go go GO!!!
After hitting the winged white splodge they made there way to the blue warp and both blacked out.
Now, to where Link, the Guy and my mate are, Link had finally finished explaining how Shadow had been taken to Hyrule…
Guy: Wow, that's really confusing…
Dark Angel: So my mate's in the '64? Sweet!! I can finally get my games back!! You got her house key?
Link: Uhh, hold on. (Whips key from out of nowhere) here we go! Oooooo!!! It's BLUE!!!
Dark Angel: Cool!! Let's go to her house! I can borrow Toxicity from her seeing as she never actually got around to giving it to me…
Guy: Can I come too?
Dark Angel: THE HELL??? We don't even know who you are!! Okay.
After making their way to my house…Link: I wonder if she has any more sausages?
Guy: Oh yeah, the stupid author forgot to tell you what my name was. I'm called Guy.
Dark Angel: Figures. Remind me to hit Shadow for being so unoriginal.
Guy: Okay.
Link: Hey look! The TV's on! There's Navi!
They all crowd around the TV.
Dark Angel: Hey that's Shadow! What the hell is she wearing?
Guy: How many times are you going to say 'hell'?
Dark Angel: Oh, sorry. Oh man, they're going through that stupid Goddess speech. Do you reckon I can skip it by bashing the A button over and over and over again?
Link: (Reading the fiction on the Internet) Well, according to the summary, that's how she got there in the first place. If you wanna trade places feel free…
Dark Angel: How the hell did that happen?
Guy: You said it again!!
Dark Angel: Shut the hell up!!! (Knocks him out)
Link: Whaddya reckon will happen if we turn the power off?
Dark Angel: Let's find out!!!
Will Dark Angel and Link turn off the power? Will I stop going insane over my lack of music? Will Dark Angel borrow my CD? In fact, what the hell am I doing letting her in my room?? Possible answers in the next chapter.
Yeah soz. Anyway, for the record Dark Angel doesn't say 'hell' that much in real life, but oh well. Tell me what you think? Love it? Hate it? Why? Ah well I'm sleepy, goodnight… -_- zz z z Z Z