Dude: Hey you! Pointy-eared freak! Come back with my money!!
Arikara: Run Link run!!
Link had just managed to mug an unsuspecting person in town and was now legging it as fast as he could back to the others. As they were all hiding they realised that this might not have been so easy as they planned.
Angel: No! NO!! Don't come here you moron!!
Dark Angel: He's not stopping! RUN!!!
Link: Hey guys! Thanks for waiting for me!
Angel: Link you IDIOT! I— Uh oh! He's seen us!
Guy: Awwww crap!! Quick we've got to get out of here!
Running as fast as they could from the enraged guy with the now-empty- wallet Link found them a "safe" place to hide.
Link: Quickly! In here!
Arikara: Okay I… LINK!!! THAT'S A POLICE STATION YOU PRAT!!!
Link: Exactly! They'll protect us from that weird dude-guy-person… Won't they?
All: NO!!!
Link: Oh dear…
Just as they were about to be caught by the dude-guy-person, a car pulled over by our unsuspecting group.
Mystery Voice: Get in!
And seeing as the Dude was now pret-ty close to where they were they all jumped in the car! (Yes, all umm hold on *Counts* 1, 2, 3…… 6 of them) Yeah, all 6 of the group managed to fit into this car, don't ask how, just trust me. I'm writing the fic remember? Oh wait, am I? Yeah I'm pretty sure I am! Aaaaaaaaaanyway!!!!!!
Link: Hey, there's no horse pulling this thing?? How the heck are we moving??????
Skye: Look, I think if we can accept the fact that you're a COMPUTER CHARACTER that's traded places with one of our best friends and is now in the real world you could find more things interesting than a CAR!!!
Link: I want one… Let's steal it!
Guy: We've created a monster here…
Dark Angel: I've just realised something.
Arikara and Angel: What?
Dark Angel: We have no idea who's driving…………
They all turn to look at the driver, and seeing as there were six of them squashed in the back seat it was a pretty hard thing to do!! In the driver's seat they saw………………………..
Shade: Hey everyone!
Angel: Oh no! Shade's driving? Let me out!! Let me out!!
Saying that she stuck herself half out the window and saw the Dude still chasing after them (Wow, he can run fast!)
Angel: Ahhhh!!! Let me in!! Let me in!!
Arikara: Hey Shade, wow. What are you doing conveniently driving past to help us escape whilst we stole money from an unsuspecting Dude?
Dark Angel: Yeah, What??
Shade: I saw you back there talking about stealing money, and I didn't like that guy so I sent him right in your direction. See I can help.
Skye: Oh, CONVENIENT.
Shade: Yeah I know.
Whilst climbing up a funny named mountain…
Shadow: (Singing) Skipping, skipping, skipping up a mountain! Making it hard for myself but I don't caaaaaaaaaare!!!!!! (Collapses)
(A/N: Full lyrics and music available at www.outofallproportion.co.uk I will buy that one day)
Navi: Oh come on!!!! WE'RE SO CLOSE!!!! Look! The entrance's right there!
Shadow: (Looks up) So it is. (Scrambles to the city)
Navi: Woah, sudden energy burst!
Inside Shadow and Navi both heard funny music that sounded very… Funny. Inside was (believe it or not) A GORON!!! And what made this Goron so special was that it was a Goron with A NECKLACE MADE FROM ROCKS!!!!!
Rock: Hi! My name is Rock! Welcome to Goron City Miss Sheikah!
Welcoming her with the ceremonial necklace, Rock placed it around her neck and sent her face slamming straight to the floor.
Shadow: Oww… (Getting up) Heavy…
Navi: (Bursts out with laughter) Ha ha! Idiot!
Shadow: Obnoxious fairy… (Regaining herself) Aren't you meant to be extremely hungry and crying for food?
Rock: Am I? Oh yeah! The pain! The pain! I am so hungry and need food!
Shadow: Well, (picks up the necklace) why don't you just eat this?
Screaming insanely, Rock whacked the necklace out of her hands and into the pit below. Shadow turned around to face him with a rather bewildered expression on her face, something a bit like o_O??? perhaps?
Navi: Huh? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR???? There was some perfectly good Goron food there!!!!!!
Rock: You expect me to eat THAT???
Shadow: Well YEAH!! How the hell are you starving, there's food all around you for crying out loud!!
Rock: Surely you don't believe that we, the high classed Gorons, could eat something that just came off the floor?
Shadow: (Looking confused) …… Where else do rocks come from?
Navi: Maybe they eat MAGIC ROCKS! Mwa ha haa!!! (Drinks more coffee) HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE HEE!!!!!! Magic rocks……
Slowly, Rock backed away from the coffee-addicted hyperactive fairy that was buzzing about and screaming 'Magic rocks' off the top off her head.
Shadow: Umm, Rock? I think you should…
Unfortunately, Rock backed up just a LITTLE too much, and went plummeting down the pit to his death (sorry folks). (A/N: Thanks again Dark Angel!)
Navi: Uh oh… Did I do that?
Shadow: Let's just get out of here… Now.
So, doing things the right way, Shadow and Navi both ran down stairs (or just Shadow, as Navi just kept up with her by pure coffee-flavoured flying power). As they got to one of the lower floors Navi was once again run over, only this time by a rolling Goron. Strangely enough this caused her to explode and stop the huge stone-like creature dead in its tracks.
HotRodder Goron: Arrrrr…. Grrr……
Shadow: Oh great, now look what you did…
Navi: x_x¦¦¦ Wha— How did I just blow up…? (The effects now kick in) Oh hey! I can see stars! AND FAIRIES!!! Wow so I DO exist!!!
Shadow: Unfortunately… Anyway, let's go see Darunia!!
Then, outside the door, Shadow and Navi meet yet another Goron! (Where do these things keep coming from?
Flint: Hello, my name is Flint! What the hell are you doing here?
Shadow: Umm, I'm here to see Darunia. (Bangs on the door) Let me in!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeease!!!
Flint: Ooooo I wouldn't do that! You know Big Brother Darunia is scary when he gets mad, but guess what! I know his secret. Hee hee hee.
Shadow: Yeah, well so do I so (Starts to play Zelda's Lullaby on the Funky Guitar) Bye bye! (Runs away) Crazed freak, like I'M going to be scared by a bunch of pixels…
Navi: Well, technically you are too…
Shadow: Shut up! If I can't hear you it's not true!!
Running away from the annoying white compound of fairy dust Shadow run into Darunia's chamber and straight into Darunia himself!
Shadow: (Looks up) Umm, hi! (Pulls herself away from him) Ouch, what are you made of rock or something? (Knocks his chest) Hee hee, fun!
Darunia: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU LITTLE FREAK???!!
Shadow: I well umm you see there was this big flash of light and I came through and met Navi and now I have to do the entire game all by myself I already met Zelda and she taught me this very funky song you see and then I saw Impa and Saria and oh let's see who am I missing out oh yeah I have to see Malon now I remember will you please give me the bracelet so that I can get out of here and then go visit her because the quicker I get Epona the quicker I can leave you know!!!
Darunia: (Bewildered by the continuous buzzing noise in front of him) What the hell are you talking about? Geez! Haven't you heard of punctuation??
Navi: Darunia!!
Navi started to dart backwards and forwards in front of the Goron leader in what Shadow could only guess was some magic fairy hypnosis spell, holding out his hand Darunia produced the Goron Bracelet!
Shadow: (Talking the bracelet) Thanks Navi! (Runs off)
Navi: Hey! Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
And now back to Shade's car…
The whole troupe pulled up outside of Shadow's house, as soon as the door opened the six trapped in the back all dived out scrambling for breath (Well you would too if there were six of you in the back of a Metro)
Angel: (Gasps) Need… air…
Guy: I am never doing that again…
Arikara: Stupid people, someone should've jumped in the front…
They all turn to stare at her evilly.
Arikara: What?
Skye: If you thought of that why didn't YOU move?!
Link: Ladies, let's calm down here…
Dark Angel: Oh shut up Link (Pushes him aside) It's whacking Arikara time!
Arikara: O_O Ack! Noooooooooo!
Whilst they were all pummelling her, (all except Link I should say, who fell into a ditch when Dark Angel pushed him) Shade got out of the car and just sat down laughing, waiting for them to finish. Until, that is, he saw a stranger, no! SEVERAL STRANGERS watching them too!! (A/N: Oh no! [Hides])
Shade: Who's that?
Arikara: (Pushing everyone away from her) Who's who?
Angel: Hey I know them! It's Stony, Murray and Aussie! (Those ARE their nicknames!)
(A/N: I know I'm involving a lot of people but just bare with me here! I'm not gonna focus too much on them! In fact, let's switch scenes!)
Where the Bomb Flowers grow on Death Mountain…
Shadow: Hee hee hee!! IT'S BOOM TIME!!!!!
Quickly she picked up a Bomb Flower and threw it down the mountain with precise aim (Yes I am that good) After waiting a while, nothing happened.
Shadow: Hmm, doesn't seem like it went off.
Navi: Well, throw another one then!
Shadow: Are you kidding! If I set them both off I might start a rockslide, you go down and check.
Navi: Why can't you?
Shadow: Because you can FLY there faster than I can walk, dumbass!!
Navi: Ack, fine…
Navi flew down to check on the diffused-idley-type Bomb Flower and waited. Nothing. She buzzed around it a few more times to see what had happened, still she found nothing. Then doing a magic fairy dance she bobbed around the flower a few times until predictably enough it blew up straight in her face. Once again there was a deflated Navi floating slowly down to the floor. Up above, Shadow couldn't help but smirk at the now tinged-black blob but was surprised when she noticed the big lump of rock start laughing too.
Shadow: Huh? Is that a Goron?
Granite: Yep, hee hee hee. I put a delay on that plant, do you KNOW how long I've wanted to do that for? MWA HA HA HAAAAA!!!
Shadow: Too long by the sound of your insane laughter…
Granite: Yeah but I was told that I couldn't or else I'd be fired, but hey now that you're screwing up the entire game I can do whatever I want! (Evil grin) Next stop, Kakariko Village!
Shadow: Ack no! You are NOT bombing a former Sheikah village!!! (Tries to slash him to little bits but fails due to the fact that he has eaten enough rocks in his lifetime to stop a 10 ton lorry dead in its path)
Granite: Ha! You can't beat me with those puny swords!
Shadow: Fine then (Blows him up with a Bomb Flower)
After dealing with one of many demented Gorons, Shadow ran down and scooped Navi into her pocket. Yes she's about to go in the Dodongo's Cavern people!
Hope you liked it! Don't worry about all the names anyhow as they'll all blend together, oh yes and I remember a while back I wrote I was 16, well that's a lie now. Tell you what, my birth date is 25/06/85, I'll let you all work it out so that I don't have to keep changing my age each time! ^_^/~ Bye bye!