CHAPTER SIXTEEN: DREAMSCAPE
(Stuff in italics is Buffy and Faith's combined dream, ala the one in Graduation Day II)
Faith sat in her cell, clearing her mind of everything except her sister Slayer. She couldn't believe that Buffy was actully alive. When Angel had come tot tell Faith that Buffy had been killed over a year ago, Faith had been devastated. She'd never got a chance to make things right with Buffy. Faith could only hope that she would be given a chance to begin making things up to Buffy by doing this for her.
Faith felt her eyelids begin to droop, and before she knew it, she'd fallen backwards, her head hitting the pillow as she fell into a deep sleep and began to dream.
She heard a girlish giggle coming from behind her. She turned quickly to see a smiling Buffy wearing a sundress. They were standing in a field of daises, both of them wearing similar outfits with no shoes.
"I like the look Faith," Buffy complimented, giving Faith the once over. "I never thought I'd live to see the day where you wore a dress."
Faith couldn't help but grin at the carefree nature of her sister Slayer.
"Hey B. You know for a dying girl you're looking pretty good," Faith said.
Buffy just smiled and held her hand out towards Faith. "I'm not dying here. This isn't the real world."
"Yeah, I kinda figured that," Faith said. "There's no way I'd be caught dead in this."
"I dunno, you could try for a whole new look," Buffy said.
Faith grinned and took Buffy's hand in hers. She followed as Buffy led her towards a stream.
"What is this place?" Faith asked.
"What's it look like?" Buffy replied.
Faith looked around them curiously. It was peaceful, beautiful, serene.
"Looks like some sorta paradise," Faith said.
Buffy nodded. "Yup. Got it in one."
Faith looked towards Buffy with confusion. "Why are we here?"
"So you understand," Buffy replied.
Faith just shook her head.
"What am I meant to understand?" she asked.
"Do you want to come back here?" Buffy asked.
"Yeah. It's kind of a to-die-for place."
Buffy laughed at that.
"That's true. Cos, you gotta die to come here," she explained. "This is what we fight for."
"This is heaven?" Faith asked, startled.
"Well, not the actual heaven, cos…we're not dead. But…this is how I remember it. It's a hundred times better than this. More crowded too."
"Memories? You were in heaven?" Faith asked incredulously.
"A warrior of light can't be sent into the darkness," Buffy replied.
"But…why did they bring you back?" Faith asked.
Buffy sat down amongst the flowers and dipped her feet into the stream that ran past them. Faith knelt beside her.
"My second chance. I didn't realise it at first."
"You were pissed, huh?"
Buffy grinned. "Something like that."
Faith smiled and dipped her toes in the water, surprised to find that the water was warm. Her face must have shown her shock because Buffy smiled at her.
"Everything's warm here," she explained. "There's no anger, no hate. Just peace."
"Sounds nice," Faith said wistfully.
"It is. But I've got a while longer until I go back there."
Faith looked around her and felt tears well in her eyes. "I don't deserve to be here B."
"Yes you do," Buffy replied simply.
"I killed people. I tried to steal your life," Faith said.
"And you feel remorse for it," Buffy said. "You wronged others, and you feel pain and guilt. And you're earning your redemption."
"How can I earn redemption when all I do is sit on my ass all day in a cell?" Faith asked.
"That's the way to your redemption. You faced your punishment without being pushed to it by any of us. You turned yourself in. You're walking the hardest path that anyone can walk and you're succeeding in righting your wrongs," Buffy said.
"But how can you forgive me for what I did to you?" Faith asked.
Buffy took hold of Faith's hand and made the younger Slayer look her in the eyes before replying.
"I forgave my friends when they destroyed my life. How can I not forgive my sister for doing only a tenth of what they did?" she asked.
Faith felt tears slip from her eyes.
"I forgive you Faith," Buffy whispered. She leant forward and kissed Faith's forehead gently as she had done in the hospital when Faith had still been comatose. "Will you forgive me?"
"For what?" Faith asked incredulously.
"For not trying harder. For not giving you another chance when you asked for it. You're my sister, not by blood, but by our Calling. We're Slayers, girlfriend, the Chosen Two," Buffy said, mimicking Faith's voice as she quoted the other girl. "You came to me and asked for a leg up. Not only did I refuse to give it to you, but I tried to take away your ladder altogether. And I'm sorry."
Faith was completely speechless as she listened to Buffy apologising. She'd never blamed Buffy for her anger, it had been well-deserved. But to have her apologise made Faith's heart almost break.
"Forgive me?" Buffy asked.
Faith nodded. "Yeah B. I forgive you."
Buffy smiled and lay back in the grass.
"Well, now that that's done, I guess we should get on with what we're here for," Buffy said.
"Which is?" Faith asked.
"You lending me your strength," Buffy reminded her.
"Oh right. So, how does that work?"
Buffy looked towards her sister and gave a grin. "Lie down."
Faith hesitated but did as asked.
"Now, close your eyes."
"If you try anything kinky, dream or not, I'm gonna kick your ass," Faith warned, a grin on her face.
"This is my dream, not yours," Buffy teased.
Faith's eyes flew open in shock. "When'd you get a sick sense of humour?" Faith asked incredulously.
Buffy just winked and gently put her hand over Faith's eyes, her eyelids fluttering closed against Buffy's hands.
"Think of nothing but your centre. The place where you're balanced, where you're focused," Buffy instructed.
Faith did as she was told. Her first Watcher had taught her some meditation techniques, but nothing highly advanced. Her eyes flew open as she found it, surprised at how strong the feeling was to be connected to the core of her being. All she saw was the darkness under Buffy's palm.
"Close your eyes," Buffy whispered against her ear. Faith did so and concentrated on the spot inside of her.
Faith's breathing evened out and she felt such a sense of peace, of completion. She'd never felt that since she'd become the Slayer. It had always been a rush, but this was complete calmness.
"I want you to take your centre, and begin pushing it outwards," Buffy said quietly.
Faith wanted to hold on to it, not wanting to let this sudden feeling go. But she remembered Giles' words to her about Buffy's life being on the line if the spell wasn't completed. She pushed with everything within her to move the centre of her being.
"You're doing great Faith," Buffy whispered encouragingly. "Just a little further."
Faith pushed again and felt something ripple. She could suddenly sense Buffy's presence within the spot she was pushing. It was such a strong sensation that came from enjoining with the Slayer that Faith almost wept at it. She had thought the earlier peace had been awe-inspiring. It paled in comparison to what she felt now.
"Can you feel me in there?" Buffy asked.
"You're strong," Faith whispered. "Stronger than I am."
"No. We complement each other. Can you feel it?" Buffy asked.
Faith concentrated again and saw that Buffy had been telling the truth. She nodded against Buffy's palm and could have sworn that she felt Buffy smile even though she couldn't see.
"We're joined together, the Slayer finally whole once more," Buffy said.
"It was never meant to be separated," Faith whispered, not knowing how she knew that. The words just seemed to tumble from he mouth.
"No. You could feel it when you were fighting beside me though, couldn't you?" Buffy asked.
"Like I finally belonged," Faith whispered, remembering how she had always felt beside the other Slayer.
"It drew us together but it pushed us apart as well," Buffy whispered. "There is light and dark within every Slayer, and your half had more darkness within it. That's why you pushed me away."
Faith could feel Buffy beginning to draw on the strength.
"Can I borrow your strength?" Buffy asked.
"I wouldn't be here otherwise," Faith replied.
"Just double-checking," Buffy said with a grin.
Faith could feel something being pulled away from her. She could still feel the Slayer within her, could still feel the peace at finally feeling whole. She didn't feel mentally weaker, just physically. And for the first time, she truly didn't mind being weak.
"I have to go for a few minutes," Buffy whispered quietly. "I'll come back though. You stay here. Just rest."
Faith nodded and felt Buffy remove her hand from her face. She didn't open her eyes.
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Buffy opened her eyes with a gasp. She felt stronger, her mind nearly completely free from the voice that was whispering Latin words to her. Buffy watched as Wesley stepped into the protective circle and picked up the spell. Giles stepped out of the circle and gave his Slayer a smile.
"How do you feel?" he asked gently.
"Better. I want this done," she said.
Giles nodded understandingly and held out his hand.
"Do you want me to walk you through the spell?" he asked.
She shook her head. "I already know," she said.
He nodded, not questioning her, just trusting her. Buffy stood and took hold of her Watcher's hand. She led him away from the circle and knelt in front of him, Giles kneeling down as well. She gave him a smile and took both of his hands with her own.
She forced herself into a quiet meditation, studiously ignoring the voice inside her head and pushing past it to where she found her centre as she had instructed Faith to do in the dreamscape. She could feel the hole in the outer circle of her centre and knew that the hole was where her Watcher was supposed to fill.
With great concentration, she reached out towards Giles and found his centre with a little difficulty. She could feel how strongly he felt about her, the conflict in his emotions. She pulled his centre towards hers and felt something inside of her snap as her centre circle completed itself. Giles too could feel their link join back up.
Buffy collapsed into his arms and with great care he carried her to the couch again, laying her down. He knelt in front of her, gently stroking her hair.
"I, Rupert Giles, do so swear by all the gods of light and goodness that I shall hereafter protect my charge, Elizabeth Summers, Slayer, Chosen One, Daughter of Sineya. From this day forth, until my I breathe my final breath, I do give myself freely and without hesitation to serve and protect you from the darkness and evil," Giles recited.
He didn't know if he needed to recite he oaths again now that they had been restored as her guardian once more, but it felt right to do so. He stepped back into the circle to finish the enjoining spell, and Wesley stepped out, hurrying to check on Buffy.
She seemed to be sleeping peacefully, and Wesley could only hope that she was finally having better dreams
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"Miss me?" Buffy asked as she found herself back beside faith in the field.
Faith opened her eyes and smiled at the other Slayer.
"I could still feel you," Faith said. She held her hand over her own heart. "Here."
"I've always been there Faith," Buffy said.
Faith nodded. "I've been too stubborn to see it."
"You didn't think you deserved it. You do," Buffy assured her.
Faith breathed in deeply and forced herself to sit up.
"I'll probably need some convincing of that one B."
"We all need a little convincing sometimes," Buffy answered.
"Do we gotta go?" Faith asked.
Buffy just nodded sadly. She too wished that they could just stay there in the sunshine.
"We've still got destinies to live out. Lives to save. People to help," Buffy said.
"You mean you have people and lives to save," Faith corrected.
"I said 'we' Faith. Not me. You're a Slayer. Just like me. And you'll be able to help people in your own way, in your own time. Maybe now you'll find your peace," Buffy said.
"And if I've already found it here?" Faith asked.
"Then you're a step closer to finding your redemption," Buffy answered.
"How much further to go?"
"Only another step," Buffy replied. "And you've got a lifetime to take it."
"Helping people?" Faith asked.
"Understanding why you help people," Buffy corrected.
Faith looked at her with confusion.
"I don't get it."
"What's your reason for slaying?" Buffy asked.
Faith hesitated. What was her reason?
"I dunno. I did it cos they told me I had to," Faith replied.
"No one has to do anything they don't already want to do. What you have to work out is if you're doing this for yourself or for others. And when you're ready to answer that honestly to yourself, you'll understand what a Slayer really is," Buffy said.
"You can't just give me the Cliff-notes version?" Faith quipped, only half-joking.
"I'll tell you one thing about Slayers. Our motto shouldn't be 'Want, Take, Have'. It's 'Save, Give, Help.' And when you understand that, then you'll work out why we do what we do," Buffy said.
"Why do you do it?" Faith asked. "What was your reason?"
Buffy just smiled. "My family."
"I don't have a family," Faith said sadly.
Buffy laughed at that. "Then you're not looking hard enough."
"Explain it then," Faith demanded.
"We're sisters Faith. Family. Our Watchers are our Partners. Our friends are our brothers, our sisters," Buffy explained.
"What if we suck at making friends?" Faith asked.
"Then we try harder," Buffy replied simply.
Faith sighed and nodded. It did make sense.
"And if we tried to kill our Watchers?" Faith asked.
"Then you ask for forgiveness. And you ask them to take you back. And you let them begin to trust you on their own time. And you let them into your life. And you especially don't try and kill them again."
Faith laughed at that.
"Check. No killing Wes," Faith said.
"It'll take time," Buffy warned.
Faith nodded and a smile appeared on her face. "I've made my peace with you B. The rest is just details."
Buffy smiled and stood up, holding her hand out to Faith.
"Are you ready to go back?"
"Ready or not, here I come," Faith said with a smile. Buffy grinned and lifted Faith to her feet.
"Thank you for helping me," Buffy said.
"Thank you for letting me."
Buffy smiled and stepped forward, kissing Faith's cheek. "Time to go."
"Bye B."
"Later Faith."
With that, Buffy let go of Faith's hand, and the field of daises disappeared.
(Hmmm…I didn't really set out for this chapter to be kinda B/F. Dunno how the hell that happened!! Yeesh. Don't worry B/G fans, this is strictly B/G goodness!)