Wild Horses (Temp. Title)
STATUS: Incomplete
CATEGORY: Drama/Romance
RATING: R
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains strong language and sexual situations
.
SUMMARY: Alec has left TC, Max and her painful, hateful, words to go to California. There he meets Ella Renaldo, a girl with close ties to Sandeman and a great destiny of her own. They fall in love and move back to TC to help the Transgenic cause, back to Max who's been waiting for Alec to come back to finish some unfinished business.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had this idea in my head for a while and I tried to talk people into writing it for me because as you will soon see I don't write very well, but everyone else has their own thing and the darn idea won't leave me alone. So I'm hoping that by finally writing it down it will leave me in peace. A form of exorcism, you might say. Anyhow, this is a long and complicated thing and I hope I can do it justice so that you'll get the full experience of this story that's bouncing along in my head. If you don't please don't hesitate to tell me. It starts in the middle where things are a little troubled and angst-y. Then it'll move through and give you their past, which leads back to the middle and then their future.
DISCLAIMER: The characters of "Dark Angel" do not belong to me.
_____________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1
He closed his eyes as he felt the amber liquid burn down his throat. If he tried hard enough he could pretend that none of the last 24 hours happened. Because that's all it had taken 24 hours for his whole world to come crashing down around his ears. Of course the fact that 6 of those hours were spent in ecstasy was highly irrelevant. He knew he shouldn't have done it but those damn pheromones had made it impossible for him to think straight. He quickly opened his eyes as the images of the last 24 hours flashed before his eyes. Damn pheromones! He took another big swallow of the almost empty glass of scotch in his hand. Damn Manticore! Damn her! Damn them both, and damn them all. Because of their actions everything he'd worked so hard for, over the past year was blown to smithereens. The cause was now back where it started, he'd lost his new family, and worst of all he'd just lost his only chance at true love. True love. He quickly finished the contents of the glass in his hand and sent it hurling against the wall of the only home he'd ever known. As it shattered into a million pieces he remembered the anguished look on her face. Shock and horror showing clearly in her sweet brown eyes. He closed his eyes and tried to remember when those eyes had looked at him with love and with pride. She'd believed in him so much made him feel so smart, so powerful, an unstoppable force that could take on the world if he had to. He'd never felt so complete and so whole as he did when he was around her. It both scared and exhilarated him. And now, well now he was back to being Alec, the troublemaker, and a big mistake.
He took a deep breath. God, he could still smell her. Her scent was so delicate yet very distinct. It reminded him of soft sandy beaches and warm blue waters, the exact opposite of Seattle. The smell was so like her. So refreshing, clean, and whole. And he so wanted to be like her, to be untarnished and worthy. He slowly let his breath out. And worse, he could hear her. Hear her telling him she loved him oceans deep and mountains high. His casual reply of "that's all?" made him wince. With her arms still wrapped around his neck and his arms around her small waist, she'd reached up on tiptoes, kissed his lips softly and replied, "I love you with all my heart and with every fiber of my being, then. Is that much better, mister greedy?" If only that were true now. He took another deep breath of her scent that lingered as if by inhaling her in it would make the pain stop. As he exhaled a razor-sharp pain gripped him once again.
He could feel the touch of her warm hand on his cheek, stroking it. When nothing was going right he would go to her and she would touch him, murmur her love for him and all would be better. There were times when he would be in a huge rage over a mission gone wrong or someone at command messing up, he would take a break to search her out to keep from pummeling someone into a bloody pulp. People would quickly get out of his way and those who knew him would run ahead to get her. She would shake her head, sometimes smile and hold him to her and all would be right with the world again. But this time it was them that had gone wrong. He closed his eyes trying to ward the bittersweet memories away. His hand reaching around for the half full bottle of scotch near the chair he was sprawled in. He found the bottle near the foot of his chair and quickly took another swig, and another, and another, finally finishing the whole contents of the bottle. Finding it empty so quickly, it joined the empty glass on the floor as it too shattered against the wall.
_____________________________________________________________________
Brandon was startled out of his sleep. He opened his eyes to see if there was anything out of the ordinary in his room. He looked around and noticed everything was where it should be and no one but him was in it, but he could tell that something was wrong. His eyes swung to his nightstand to the little Batman and Robin clock she insisted he have and finally zeroed in on the note. He stared at it for a couple of minutes, the dread growing in the pit of his stomach. Finally he pushed himself off the bed, swung his legs around and sat up. He recognized the handwriting. He reached out a hand and grabbed the note slowly opening it to reveal its contents. He shook his head in denial and re read it. With the letter clenched tightly in his hand, he ran towards the door. He ran through the hallway passing some startled transgenics along the way, not breaking his stride he continued on up the dilapidated stairwell. As he rushed up the stairs a million things ran through his mind. "This isn't happening" was the most prevalent and was soon his mantra. She was just kidding. It was probably a sneaky trick to get him to come up to their apartment so they could surprise him for his birthday or something. Except it wasn't his birthday, and it wasn't 'her' to write this kind of letter as a joke even for a good cause. His heart missed a beat and he almost collapsed. He kept on going. She would open the door and hold him in her arms. She would then say he was silly and promise to beat the living day lights out of the creep who dared trick her Brandon. Then they'd snuggle on the couch until Alec woke up or until his little belly would grumble and make breakfast. Feeling a bit better he finally reached his desired location and came to a halt. The door looked innocent enough. He slowly stepped up to it. He reached his hand, palm up to the door and felt it. With his enhanced hearing he heard something smash against the wall and he knew. He closed his eyes and softly laid his cheek against the door. The rumpled piece of paper floated out of his loose grasp, forgotten on the floor. She'd left him.
_____________________________________________________________________
He heard a soft noise at the door and before his brain could reason out the improbability of it, his heart hoped and he blurred to the door and yanked it open. And he found instead a small boy still in his pajamas, crying softly into his fists. He closed his eyes and bent down to pick up the child. Brandon struggled out of Alec's grasp and he let him down. "Why?" the lost, sad little boy asked. Alec ushered the boy in, settled into his chair and waited for Brandon to sit opposite him on the couch. He sighed. Not really ready to talk to anyone about it when he himself had yet to come to grips with it. He focused on anything but the boy in front of him and said, "I messed up, Brandon. Real bad."
The boy frowned, "How? How can you mess up with her? She's so sweet and forgiving. There isn't anything she can't forgive you. She always forgives you."
"Well, this time what I did was unforgivable and…."
"Tell her you're sorry and get her back! You have to!"
"I…I can't. She's gone for good and no amount of begging will make her come back."
Brandon leaped from his seat, barely restraining himself from jumping Alec. "What did you do?! What did you do?! Tell me! What did you do?!"
Alec finally looked into the boy's wild eyes. 'See', Alec thought, 'You aren't the only one she left. She left him, too.' Brandon looked so small and so young in the little pajamas she had gotten Alec to buy for him. Another innocent who, because of him would suffer pain that they had never imagined. 'It's all her fault,' Alec desperately reasoned in his chaotic mind as Brandon started to cry. The boy mashed his fists into his eyes as he looked up at Alec and tried to stem the flow of tears. Alec looked away; the heavy weight of more guilt causing him to slump further into the seat. He looked at the boy who was demanding answers Alec was pained to give. He opened his mouth and slowly closed it again as the thought of what he'd done to her flashed through his mind.
Flashback
He was feverishly pounding into her, loosing himself in the mindless pleasure of it all. He heard her strangled gasps and moans beneath him. He kept at it until she screamed his name and he, too, let go to join her in the sweet release. He barely had time to recover his breath when the reality of what he had done, what they had done hit him. At the same moment the door opened and the light came on. "No," he gasped. He turned around and all he could hear was the blood roaring in his ears as he looked at her standing in the doorway trying to deny her standing there, taking in the painful scene. "I …I was looking for Dix and they said that he would be in here. Why he would be here in your office I have no idea, but…" she wildly babbled. She then met his eyes and time stopped just for a moment and in that moment Alec knew that his life was over. A soft cry of realization escaped from her lips when the panic settled in, and the world continued revolving. She spun around quickly running away from him, away from his betrayal. " No! Wait!" he called out as he tried to untangle himself from his bed partner. "Alec!" his partner in crime screamed but he didn't hear her. He swiftly put on his pants and ran after her.
The cement cut into his feet as he ran frenetically; not able to feel the pain for the fear inside was spreading like wild fire and overloading all his nerve endings. He caught up to her in front of their apartment building. Her long, dark hair flew behind her like a cape as she ran away from the pain, away from him. She stumbled slightly as the tears streamed down her face making it impossible to see. Alec saw her stumble when he caught up to her. He blurred the last distance, grabbed her and pulled her to a stop. She turned around and a sharp pain exploded in his head. Another blow quickly followed before he finally was able to restrain her. He held her tight against him until she stopped struggling. Then she just leaned into him and was sobbing uncontrollably in his arms. He held her tight and made soothing noises to calm her down. He picked her up, nestled her against his chest and carried her into the building and walked up the stairs into their apartment. It was still twilight and no one was around to witness the beginning of the end of their true love.
End Of Flashback
Alec snapped out of his painful thoughts when Brandon pulled his hand back and let his fist fly, connecting with Alec's jaw. "What. Did. You. Do!" Brandon screamed. Alec brought a hand up to his throbbing lip and found blood on his hand when he looked down at it. "Tell me! What did you do to her!" Alec looked up into Brandon's tear stained face and realized he, too, had tears streaking down his face. "I…She found me in heat with Max…"
The boy screamed "No!" and jumped at Alec, fists pummeling the older man. "I hate you! I hate you! I. HATE. YOU!" Alec took the abuse in fact he welcomed it. He needed it to feel human again because he deserved it. Brandon stopped when he realized Alec wasn't fighting him. He quickly jumped away from Alec and stormed towards the door. As he arrived at the door, he turned and looked back at Alec. "I'm sorry, Alec. I shouldn't have hit you even though you deserve it but Ella taught me better. And when she comes back I don't want her getting mad at me for hitting you. Because even though you…you did that to her she'll be back. I know this. She loves you; She loves me, and all of the others. We are a family. She said so. Nothing will keep her away from us." With that, he turned back. He didn't notice Alec flinch at the sound of her name, didn't see the older man's strangled look. Brandon squared his shoulders and walked outside, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Alec looked in the direction of the door. He shook his head and tried to clear another vision of when Ella left. He refocused on the door and the echo of Brandon's innocent words. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to grab the boy, hold him tight and believe that Ella would walk back through that door and somehow forgive him. But who was he to believe? He was just a screwed up, broken soldier. An animal with no heart and no soul. Who was he to believe? Not her. He knew she did. But not anymore he and Max made sure of that. The girl who believed in the goodness of all things finally realized he wasn't worth her love anymore and had walked out the door and out of his life.
Flashback
He carried her to their apartment and laid her down on the bed, he stood still at the foot of their bed watching her as she curled up into a ball and cried into his pillow. He couldn't move, not knowing what to do. Knowing that one wrong move would make her disappear before he could, before he could... Alec tried to swallow the rising panic that was lodged in his throat. Her crying finally ceased and she sat up. She brushed her tangled hair out of her face and turned to look at him. Her bright eyes dulling and her olive complexion getting paler by the moment as she relived his indiscretion. Alec felt himself die a little at a time, as her eyes started to get that far away look, the look of her remembering. He felt himself trying to breathe and at his forced exhale she started and looked at him again. They stared at each other speaking with their eyes. Him begging for understanding and forgiveness, while she tried to, she tried to understand but all she kept seeing was her lover making love to someone else. The someone else, who he used to be in love with, was still in love with, and the same someone who kept trying to steal Alec away from her, well tonight she'd succeeded.
"How many times did I ask you, Alec?" She finally whispered. "How many times did I ask you if you were sure you loved me? Because after what I just saw, it seems you've been lying to me" "I DO love you! And only you! That....that was just heat! It...it couldn't be helped...,"Alec trailed off. Ella looked at him as if he'd sprouted another head. "Couldn't be helped!? I've been living here with you; surrounded by transgenics who go into heat all the time for the past 6 months and they seem to get through it with out a scratching partner." She looked at Alec expectantly. "I told you she was after you and you told me I was just imagining things." She stood up and walked closer to where he stood. "You lied to me. You still loved her, wanted her and she knew this. Which is why when she went into heat she came looking for you knowing you wouldn't resist." Alec's lips parted to deny this but for the life of him he couldn't. He couldn't because it was true. Not all of it, but there was truth in there. He did love Max; a part of him always would because she was his first love. Rachel not really counting as she was in love with Simon. But as Alec and X5-494, Max was his proverbial first time young love. He was different now the year he'd spent with Ella had changed him. He was no longer that Alec, the Alec who stood back and let his love for Max dictate his every move. Now he was his own man, all grown up and happy with himself, with his life, and with his mate. Yes, he loved Max but as Max was fond of saying, 'not like that.'
As for knowing Max wanted him that was crazy. They bantered and flirted but only because their friendship was that of an old familiar one. Max was in the past and he knew that his future lay with Ella. So that night when she came into his office he was in total shock. She was already at the full height of her heat and couldn't resist. Not when the complementing DNA in him compelled him to take her as his mate. He tried to resist but her pheromones were making it hard to think at all. He barely remembered Ella's name when Max pounced on him. She devoured him and it was like his old dreams come true. For a while all the pain he went through, before he left TC and found Ella, came back but this time his feelings were being put to right as Max kissed him with all the passion she was capable of. It was like he was transported back in time and he was the Alec before Ella, the Alec who was starving for Max's love and this time he was getting it. What surprised Alec was the strength of his reaction to Max. He really thought he was over and done with, with her.
Ella took in his silence and closed her eyes. She turned away from him and headed for their make shift closet. She hurriedly took out her clothes and packed them into a duffle bag. Alec still stood by the foot of the bed shocked by the realization that he really wasn't over Max and that he'd wronged Ella. He watched as she started to pack and silently left the room to take a seat outside unable to stay standing there any longer. She heard him leave and she paused to look back over her shoulder willing him to deny it. But there was nothing, just silence. Soon all her belongs were secured in two blue duffle bags. With a bag in each arm she walked out of their bedroom to stand in the hallway. Alec looked up and they stared at each other for a moment. He tried to speak, even move his lips a little but in the end it was she who spoke. "I want you to know that I don't blame you. You were made to for each other, after all. I just wish, I just wish...," she stopped to take a ragged breath, "Good bye, Alec. I guess I should thank Max for letting this happen now rather than later. Imagine if we were married, by my people's laws you'd both be dead." She tried to smile but didn't quite make it instead she rushed towards the door and slipped out closing the door quietly behind her. And Alec looked on.
End Of Flashback
STATUS: Incomplete
CATEGORY: Drama/Romance
RATING: R
CONTENT WARNING: This story contains strong language and sexual situations
.
SUMMARY: Alec has left TC, Max and her painful, hateful, words to go to California. There he meets Ella Renaldo, a girl with close ties to Sandeman and a great destiny of her own. They fall in love and move back to TC to help the Transgenic cause, back to Max who's been waiting for Alec to come back to finish some unfinished business.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had this idea in my head for a while and I tried to talk people into writing it for me because as you will soon see I don't write very well, but everyone else has their own thing and the darn idea won't leave me alone. So I'm hoping that by finally writing it down it will leave me in peace. A form of exorcism, you might say. Anyhow, this is a long and complicated thing and I hope I can do it justice so that you'll get the full experience of this story that's bouncing along in my head. If you don't please don't hesitate to tell me. It starts in the middle where things are a little troubled and angst-y. Then it'll move through and give you their past, which leads back to the middle and then their future.
DISCLAIMER: The characters of "Dark Angel" do not belong to me.
_____________________________________________________________________
Chapter 1
He closed his eyes as he felt the amber liquid burn down his throat. If he tried hard enough he could pretend that none of the last 24 hours happened. Because that's all it had taken 24 hours for his whole world to come crashing down around his ears. Of course the fact that 6 of those hours were spent in ecstasy was highly irrelevant. He knew he shouldn't have done it but those damn pheromones had made it impossible for him to think straight. He quickly opened his eyes as the images of the last 24 hours flashed before his eyes. Damn pheromones! He took another big swallow of the almost empty glass of scotch in his hand. Damn Manticore! Damn her! Damn them both, and damn them all. Because of their actions everything he'd worked so hard for, over the past year was blown to smithereens. The cause was now back where it started, he'd lost his new family, and worst of all he'd just lost his only chance at true love. True love. He quickly finished the contents of the glass in his hand and sent it hurling against the wall of the only home he'd ever known. As it shattered into a million pieces he remembered the anguished look on her face. Shock and horror showing clearly in her sweet brown eyes. He closed his eyes and tried to remember when those eyes had looked at him with love and with pride. She'd believed in him so much made him feel so smart, so powerful, an unstoppable force that could take on the world if he had to. He'd never felt so complete and so whole as he did when he was around her. It both scared and exhilarated him. And now, well now he was back to being Alec, the troublemaker, and a big mistake.
He took a deep breath. God, he could still smell her. Her scent was so delicate yet very distinct. It reminded him of soft sandy beaches and warm blue waters, the exact opposite of Seattle. The smell was so like her. So refreshing, clean, and whole. And he so wanted to be like her, to be untarnished and worthy. He slowly let his breath out. And worse, he could hear her. Hear her telling him she loved him oceans deep and mountains high. His casual reply of "that's all?" made him wince. With her arms still wrapped around his neck and his arms around her small waist, she'd reached up on tiptoes, kissed his lips softly and replied, "I love you with all my heart and with every fiber of my being, then. Is that much better, mister greedy?" If only that were true now. He took another deep breath of her scent that lingered as if by inhaling her in it would make the pain stop. As he exhaled a razor-sharp pain gripped him once again.
He could feel the touch of her warm hand on his cheek, stroking it. When nothing was going right he would go to her and she would touch him, murmur her love for him and all would be better. There were times when he would be in a huge rage over a mission gone wrong or someone at command messing up, he would take a break to search her out to keep from pummeling someone into a bloody pulp. People would quickly get out of his way and those who knew him would run ahead to get her. She would shake her head, sometimes smile and hold him to her and all would be right with the world again. But this time it was them that had gone wrong. He closed his eyes trying to ward the bittersweet memories away. His hand reaching around for the half full bottle of scotch near the chair he was sprawled in. He found the bottle near the foot of his chair and quickly took another swig, and another, and another, finally finishing the whole contents of the bottle. Finding it empty so quickly, it joined the empty glass on the floor as it too shattered against the wall.
_____________________________________________________________________
Brandon was startled out of his sleep. He opened his eyes to see if there was anything out of the ordinary in his room. He looked around and noticed everything was where it should be and no one but him was in it, but he could tell that something was wrong. His eyes swung to his nightstand to the little Batman and Robin clock she insisted he have and finally zeroed in on the note. He stared at it for a couple of minutes, the dread growing in the pit of his stomach. Finally he pushed himself off the bed, swung his legs around and sat up. He recognized the handwriting. He reached out a hand and grabbed the note slowly opening it to reveal its contents. He shook his head in denial and re read it. With the letter clenched tightly in his hand, he ran towards the door. He ran through the hallway passing some startled transgenics along the way, not breaking his stride he continued on up the dilapidated stairwell. As he rushed up the stairs a million things ran through his mind. "This isn't happening" was the most prevalent and was soon his mantra. She was just kidding. It was probably a sneaky trick to get him to come up to their apartment so they could surprise him for his birthday or something. Except it wasn't his birthday, and it wasn't 'her' to write this kind of letter as a joke even for a good cause. His heart missed a beat and he almost collapsed. He kept on going. She would open the door and hold him in her arms. She would then say he was silly and promise to beat the living day lights out of the creep who dared trick her Brandon. Then they'd snuggle on the couch until Alec woke up or until his little belly would grumble and make breakfast. Feeling a bit better he finally reached his desired location and came to a halt. The door looked innocent enough. He slowly stepped up to it. He reached his hand, palm up to the door and felt it. With his enhanced hearing he heard something smash against the wall and he knew. He closed his eyes and softly laid his cheek against the door. The rumpled piece of paper floated out of his loose grasp, forgotten on the floor. She'd left him.
_____________________________________________________________________
He heard a soft noise at the door and before his brain could reason out the improbability of it, his heart hoped and he blurred to the door and yanked it open. And he found instead a small boy still in his pajamas, crying softly into his fists. He closed his eyes and bent down to pick up the child. Brandon struggled out of Alec's grasp and he let him down. "Why?" the lost, sad little boy asked. Alec ushered the boy in, settled into his chair and waited for Brandon to sit opposite him on the couch. He sighed. Not really ready to talk to anyone about it when he himself had yet to come to grips with it. He focused on anything but the boy in front of him and said, "I messed up, Brandon. Real bad."
The boy frowned, "How? How can you mess up with her? She's so sweet and forgiving. There isn't anything she can't forgive you. She always forgives you."
"Well, this time what I did was unforgivable and…."
"Tell her you're sorry and get her back! You have to!"
"I…I can't. She's gone for good and no amount of begging will make her come back."
Brandon leaped from his seat, barely restraining himself from jumping Alec. "What did you do?! What did you do?! Tell me! What did you do?!"
Alec finally looked into the boy's wild eyes. 'See', Alec thought, 'You aren't the only one she left. She left him, too.' Brandon looked so small and so young in the little pajamas she had gotten Alec to buy for him. Another innocent who, because of him would suffer pain that they had never imagined. 'It's all her fault,' Alec desperately reasoned in his chaotic mind as Brandon started to cry. The boy mashed his fists into his eyes as he looked up at Alec and tried to stem the flow of tears. Alec looked away; the heavy weight of more guilt causing him to slump further into the seat. He looked at the boy who was demanding answers Alec was pained to give. He opened his mouth and slowly closed it again as the thought of what he'd done to her flashed through his mind.
Flashback
He was feverishly pounding into her, loosing himself in the mindless pleasure of it all. He heard her strangled gasps and moans beneath him. He kept at it until she screamed his name and he, too, let go to join her in the sweet release. He barely had time to recover his breath when the reality of what he had done, what they had done hit him. At the same moment the door opened and the light came on. "No," he gasped. He turned around and all he could hear was the blood roaring in his ears as he looked at her standing in the doorway trying to deny her standing there, taking in the painful scene. "I …I was looking for Dix and they said that he would be in here. Why he would be here in your office I have no idea, but…" she wildly babbled. She then met his eyes and time stopped just for a moment and in that moment Alec knew that his life was over. A soft cry of realization escaped from her lips when the panic settled in, and the world continued revolving. She spun around quickly running away from him, away from his betrayal. " No! Wait!" he called out as he tried to untangle himself from his bed partner. "Alec!" his partner in crime screamed but he didn't hear her. He swiftly put on his pants and ran after her.
The cement cut into his feet as he ran frenetically; not able to feel the pain for the fear inside was spreading like wild fire and overloading all his nerve endings. He caught up to her in front of their apartment building. Her long, dark hair flew behind her like a cape as she ran away from the pain, away from him. She stumbled slightly as the tears streamed down her face making it impossible to see. Alec saw her stumble when he caught up to her. He blurred the last distance, grabbed her and pulled her to a stop. She turned around and a sharp pain exploded in his head. Another blow quickly followed before he finally was able to restrain her. He held her tight against him until she stopped struggling. Then she just leaned into him and was sobbing uncontrollably in his arms. He held her tight and made soothing noises to calm her down. He picked her up, nestled her against his chest and carried her into the building and walked up the stairs into their apartment. It was still twilight and no one was around to witness the beginning of the end of their true love.
End Of Flashback
Alec snapped out of his painful thoughts when Brandon pulled his hand back and let his fist fly, connecting with Alec's jaw. "What. Did. You. Do!" Brandon screamed. Alec brought a hand up to his throbbing lip and found blood on his hand when he looked down at it. "Tell me! What did you do to her!" Alec looked up into Brandon's tear stained face and realized he, too, had tears streaking down his face. "I…She found me in heat with Max…"
The boy screamed "No!" and jumped at Alec, fists pummeling the older man. "I hate you! I hate you! I. HATE. YOU!" Alec took the abuse in fact he welcomed it. He needed it to feel human again because he deserved it. Brandon stopped when he realized Alec wasn't fighting him. He quickly jumped away from Alec and stormed towards the door. As he arrived at the door, he turned and looked back at Alec. "I'm sorry, Alec. I shouldn't have hit you even though you deserve it but Ella taught me better. And when she comes back I don't want her getting mad at me for hitting you. Because even though you…you did that to her she'll be back. I know this. She loves you; She loves me, and all of the others. We are a family. She said so. Nothing will keep her away from us." With that, he turned back. He didn't notice Alec flinch at the sound of her name, didn't see the older man's strangled look. Brandon squared his shoulders and walked outside, quietly shutting the door behind him.
Alec looked in the direction of the door. He shook his head and tried to clear another vision of when Ella left. He refocused on the door and the echo of Brandon's innocent words. He wanted to believe him. He wanted to grab the boy, hold him tight and believe that Ella would walk back through that door and somehow forgive him. But who was he to believe? He was just a screwed up, broken soldier. An animal with no heart and no soul. Who was he to believe? Not her. He knew she did. But not anymore he and Max made sure of that. The girl who believed in the goodness of all things finally realized he wasn't worth her love anymore and had walked out the door and out of his life.
Flashback
He carried her to their apartment and laid her down on the bed, he stood still at the foot of their bed watching her as she curled up into a ball and cried into his pillow. He couldn't move, not knowing what to do. Knowing that one wrong move would make her disappear before he could, before he could... Alec tried to swallow the rising panic that was lodged in his throat. Her crying finally ceased and she sat up. She brushed her tangled hair out of her face and turned to look at him. Her bright eyes dulling and her olive complexion getting paler by the moment as she relived his indiscretion. Alec felt himself die a little at a time, as her eyes started to get that far away look, the look of her remembering. He felt himself trying to breathe and at his forced exhale she started and looked at him again. They stared at each other speaking with their eyes. Him begging for understanding and forgiveness, while she tried to, she tried to understand but all she kept seeing was her lover making love to someone else. The someone else, who he used to be in love with, was still in love with, and the same someone who kept trying to steal Alec away from her, well tonight she'd succeeded.
"How many times did I ask you, Alec?" She finally whispered. "How many times did I ask you if you were sure you loved me? Because after what I just saw, it seems you've been lying to me" "I DO love you! And only you! That....that was just heat! It...it couldn't be helped...,"Alec trailed off. Ella looked at him as if he'd sprouted another head. "Couldn't be helped!? I've been living here with you; surrounded by transgenics who go into heat all the time for the past 6 months and they seem to get through it with out a scratching partner." She looked at Alec expectantly. "I told you she was after you and you told me I was just imagining things." She stood up and walked closer to where he stood. "You lied to me. You still loved her, wanted her and she knew this. Which is why when she went into heat she came looking for you knowing you wouldn't resist." Alec's lips parted to deny this but for the life of him he couldn't. He couldn't because it was true. Not all of it, but there was truth in there. He did love Max; a part of him always would because she was his first love. Rachel not really counting as she was in love with Simon. But as Alec and X5-494, Max was his proverbial first time young love. He was different now the year he'd spent with Ella had changed him. He was no longer that Alec, the Alec who stood back and let his love for Max dictate his every move. Now he was his own man, all grown up and happy with himself, with his life, and with his mate. Yes, he loved Max but as Max was fond of saying, 'not like that.'
As for knowing Max wanted him that was crazy. They bantered and flirted but only because their friendship was that of an old familiar one. Max was in the past and he knew that his future lay with Ella. So that night when she came into his office he was in total shock. She was already at the full height of her heat and couldn't resist. Not when the complementing DNA in him compelled him to take her as his mate. He tried to resist but her pheromones were making it hard to think at all. He barely remembered Ella's name when Max pounced on him. She devoured him and it was like his old dreams come true. For a while all the pain he went through, before he left TC and found Ella, came back but this time his feelings were being put to right as Max kissed him with all the passion she was capable of. It was like he was transported back in time and he was the Alec before Ella, the Alec who was starving for Max's love and this time he was getting it. What surprised Alec was the strength of his reaction to Max. He really thought he was over and done with, with her.
Ella took in his silence and closed her eyes. She turned away from him and headed for their make shift closet. She hurriedly took out her clothes and packed them into a duffle bag. Alec still stood by the foot of the bed shocked by the realization that he really wasn't over Max and that he'd wronged Ella. He watched as she started to pack and silently left the room to take a seat outside unable to stay standing there any longer. She heard him leave and she paused to look back over her shoulder willing him to deny it. But there was nothing, just silence. Soon all her belongs were secured in two blue duffle bags. With a bag in each arm she walked out of their bedroom to stand in the hallway. Alec looked up and they stared at each other for a moment. He tried to speak, even move his lips a little but in the end it was she who spoke. "I want you to know that I don't blame you. You were made to for each other, after all. I just wish, I just wish...," she stopped to take a ragged breath, "Good bye, Alec. I guess I should thank Max for letting this happen now rather than later. Imagine if we were married, by my people's laws you'd both be dead." She tried to smile but didn't quite make it instead she rushed towards the door and slipped out closing the door quietly behind her. And Alec looked on.
End Of Flashback