*Author's Note: Ya know that pastoral scene in Fantasia with all the satyrs and cotton candy colored trees? Well, that's what the abode of Persephone looks like in this chapter;)
Chapter 2: The Dating Game From Hell
A prismatic rainbow that would have put the Skittles commercial to shame arced through the baby blue sky over the island in the sea beyond the sea. This was where Demeter and her daughter Persephone had their abode, and called it Green Pastures, Inc. The blonde, blue eyed 18 year old Persephone had been released from helping her mother with blessing that day's crops and now frolicked in one of the meadows with her attendants, Pleasure and Peace. They, like Pain and Panic, were also pink and blue, but were the latter's more comely counterparts. They were also smarter, if a little on the ditzy side.
"I see a flower with my name on it!" shrieked Pleasure, running toward the meadow with Peace on her heels.
"Oh no you don't, you know what happened last time!" scolded Peace. You got so much pollen up your nose you sneezed us out of the house for a WEEK!"
A new voice sounded sweetly from behind them. "Girls, what are you babbling about?"
Persephone bent over them with a teasing smile, brushing the grass with her knee-length wavy hair. She wore a light pink chiffon dress with draped sleeves with openings. There was another opening for the stomach which showed a butterfly tattoo over the navel and a pink gem stud. Her dainty porcelain feet were clad in gold sandels with woven straps that went up to her slim but curvy hips. She ignored her companions as a faun started up a gleeful tune on his pipe from an invisible location, which prompted a group of fellow satyrs to dance near them. Persephone started her own dance, twirling and leaping around like a deer under a chiffon gold waterfall.
It was here that Hades, on his way to Mount Olympus to "negotiate" with Zeus, beheld the lovely Persephone for the first time. Pain and Panic also stopped dead in their tracks beside the now hovering black gryphon-drawn chariot. The first words out of Hades' mouth were:
"Chihuahua!"
Ordinarily, he didn't make such a fuss over a girl, goddess or mortal. Even on the rare occasions that one DID stir his dark passions, he covered it up with his usual sarcasm and denial. He immediately turned and felt his back to see if there was an arrow in it. No arrow. Hm, what could this mean? Number one, that he'd been in the pool of souls too long, number two, Pain and Panic had slipped a love potion into his food as one of their sick jokes, number three, that this girl was really getting to him.
His mind decided on the latter. His aides unanimously pushed his gaping mouth back into place before theirs, too, gaped open at the sight of the frolicking Pleasure and Peace. They morphed into a panting dog that growled. Hades eyes were still glazed over.
"My sentiments exactly, boys." he said. "It looks like our plans for the day have changed." he added as a sly smile snaked across his face. He whispered those plans to Pain and Panic, who started laughing so hard they almost startled the three females below. Hades slapped a hand over each of their mouths before whipping his gryphon charge out of sight into some yonder trees.
Pain and Panic grabbed Pleasure and Peace while they gallavanted around the flowers and held them hostage. Persephone hadn't noticed since she was so busy playing ring around the rosy with the satyrs. After gagging and binding the female imps, Pain and Panic morphed into their likenesses and ran out into the meadow where Persephone was telling off a very flirtatious Phil, who had crashed their party just at that moment.
"Hey babe, what's your sign?" he wiggled his eyebrows at the disgusted Persephone, who started walking away.
"Stop!" she said, wrinkling her nose.
She was saved from further persistance from Phil when Pleasure and Peace came rushing out at her. "Your mother's been hit by a falling tree!" Pleasure said from around her ankles. "Hurry!"
With a gasp, Persephone ran to the edge of the meadow that stopped at a dark forest. The disguised voice of her mother came from somewhere inside it, calling for help. She rushed in...
...only to find herself in a strange building with a robed escort who led her to a waiting chair with a single spotlight. "Where's my mother?" she said in a panic.
"Not to worry my dear, she's been taken care of by the doctors and they're taking her home now. But you've just won a spot on the Dating Game! Just sit right there and the host will explain everything to you."
The attendant, who had really been Hades in disguise, laughed at his own genius. He disappeared around a corner, morphed into the host, and came back out. Persephone looked totally confused and more than a little perplexed, but she played along.
"Ah, here you are!" he beamed, hovering around her like all annoying game show hosts do. "Such a lovely young lady you are, too! How you feeling? Good!" he finished, clapping his hands together before she could answer. "Such fine weather we're having. Now let's get started! We have three dashing young bachelor gods with us today who are going to try to win a date with you." Persephone's face brightened considerably and she giggled. Hades couldn't resist a smirk. "I'll let them take their turns trying to charm you and you get to decide which one shares your sunshine, you with me?" Persephone nodded dumbly. "Good! Let's get started! Heeeeeer's Bachelor number one!"
Pain's feeble and slimy voice started out. "Eeeah, I'm short but sweet, love music and dancing and I'm allergic to shellfish. How 'bout you let me swim in YOUR ocean, baby?" Persephone made a face and Hades as host smacked his forehead.
"A real winner, that one is." he said sarcastically. "Let's go to Bachelor number two!"
Panic started his own bad sound effects to a rap song to put his feelings into words. "A boom-boom-chick! A boom-boom-chick! (complete with spitting and grunting sounds) I've been around the world but never seen a girl like you (ahuh-a-huh-ahuh)...I like the way you walk, the way you talk, even the way you chew! Boom-boom-smack, boom-boom-smack, grunta-grunta pppppbttt!"
Hades' face was now buried in his hands. Persephone was in total shock, her eyes glazed over, her hands gripping the chair. "What...was....that?" she uttered.
"Excuse me for a moment." Hades said, zipping out of sight. Instead of returning, he sent Pain out as the morphed host, and ducked into the third makeshift booth. "And now, last but not least...Bachelor number three!" Pain announced with flourish. Immediately, cigarette smoke that smelled like incense curled up over the booth and reached out with sentient tendrils to tickle Persephone under the chin. A suave, smooth male voice sounded from the booth. "Pay no attention to those imbeciles." he said in a serpentine way, his words measured and hypnotizing her. "I am the one you want, my succulent little sunflower. I will give you everything your heart desires. A night out with me will leave you...dying...for more."
Persephone sat frozen, with shock or amazement she didn't know which. "So which bachelor will it be?" the host said. "One, two or three?"
"No contest." Persephone said, fairly swooning. "I gotta go with number three."
Immediately, the scene vanished to be replaced by the very real, and very dark, forest, lit now only by Hades' blue glow. Pain and Panic emerged with a flourish, jumping in front of him. "Ta-daaa!" they said for emphasis.
"Heh-heh, good work, boys." Hades smiled one of his rare smiles at them.
"Hades!" Persephone yelled in a very unsunshiny voice. "You tricked me you son of a..."
The god held up his hand. "Now, now, none of that. You have to claim your consolation prize. Rather, I have to claim my consolation prize. You owe me a date, remember?" Before she could scream for her mother or protest, he picked her swiftly up, slung her over his shoulder and carried her off in his chariot. Pain and Panic soon joined them with Pleasure and Peace still gagged in the seat.
"What have you done with Pleasure and Peace?" Persephone demanded, glaring at them."Dating game my pink patooti! I've got a scream and I know how to use it!"
Hades rolled his eyes, not for the first time that day. "Oh please, not the damsel in distress routine.It's getting boring. Relax. Living in the underworld's not as bad as they all say it is up there. You get a free heated pool, all the food you can eat, twenty four hour entertainment and you get to rule half my kingdom. Besides, I hear your mother's a real bitch." he added, to her chagrin.
"For your information, hotlips, my MOTHER is NOT a bitch! She lets me out...occasionally." she added meekly.
Meanwhile, Persephone had been discreetly unworking Pleasure and Peace's mouth gags and ropes. They promptly screamed their tiny lungs out, momentarily throwing the chariot off course. Persephone laughed, and Hades flamed...literally.
"What in the blue blazes is THAT?"
Pain and Panic quickly gagged them again. "Got it under control, Boss, no problem." Panic said with a nervous laugh. Hades just growled and whipped the gryphon to fly faster.
Chapter 2: The Dating Game From Hell
A prismatic rainbow that would have put the Skittles commercial to shame arced through the baby blue sky over the island in the sea beyond the sea. This was where Demeter and her daughter Persephone had their abode, and called it Green Pastures, Inc. The blonde, blue eyed 18 year old Persephone had been released from helping her mother with blessing that day's crops and now frolicked in one of the meadows with her attendants, Pleasure and Peace. They, like Pain and Panic, were also pink and blue, but were the latter's more comely counterparts. They were also smarter, if a little on the ditzy side.
"I see a flower with my name on it!" shrieked Pleasure, running toward the meadow with Peace on her heels.
"Oh no you don't, you know what happened last time!" scolded Peace. You got so much pollen up your nose you sneezed us out of the house for a WEEK!"
A new voice sounded sweetly from behind them. "Girls, what are you babbling about?"
Persephone bent over them with a teasing smile, brushing the grass with her knee-length wavy hair. She wore a light pink chiffon dress with draped sleeves with openings. There was another opening for the stomach which showed a butterfly tattoo over the navel and a pink gem stud. Her dainty porcelain feet were clad in gold sandels with woven straps that went up to her slim but curvy hips. She ignored her companions as a faun started up a gleeful tune on his pipe from an invisible location, which prompted a group of fellow satyrs to dance near them. Persephone started her own dance, twirling and leaping around like a deer under a chiffon gold waterfall.
It was here that Hades, on his way to Mount Olympus to "negotiate" with Zeus, beheld the lovely Persephone for the first time. Pain and Panic also stopped dead in their tracks beside the now hovering black gryphon-drawn chariot. The first words out of Hades' mouth were:
"Chihuahua!"
Ordinarily, he didn't make such a fuss over a girl, goddess or mortal. Even on the rare occasions that one DID stir his dark passions, he covered it up with his usual sarcasm and denial. He immediately turned and felt his back to see if there was an arrow in it. No arrow. Hm, what could this mean? Number one, that he'd been in the pool of souls too long, number two, Pain and Panic had slipped a love potion into his food as one of their sick jokes, number three, that this girl was really getting to him.
His mind decided on the latter. His aides unanimously pushed his gaping mouth back into place before theirs, too, gaped open at the sight of the frolicking Pleasure and Peace. They morphed into a panting dog that growled. Hades eyes were still glazed over.
"My sentiments exactly, boys." he said. "It looks like our plans for the day have changed." he added as a sly smile snaked across his face. He whispered those plans to Pain and Panic, who started laughing so hard they almost startled the three females below. Hades slapped a hand over each of their mouths before whipping his gryphon charge out of sight into some yonder trees.
Pain and Panic grabbed Pleasure and Peace while they gallavanted around the flowers and held them hostage. Persephone hadn't noticed since she was so busy playing ring around the rosy with the satyrs. After gagging and binding the female imps, Pain and Panic morphed into their likenesses and ran out into the meadow where Persephone was telling off a very flirtatious Phil, who had crashed their party just at that moment.
"Hey babe, what's your sign?" he wiggled his eyebrows at the disgusted Persephone, who started walking away.
"Stop!" she said, wrinkling her nose.
She was saved from further persistance from Phil when Pleasure and Peace came rushing out at her. "Your mother's been hit by a falling tree!" Pleasure said from around her ankles. "Hurry!"
With a gasp, Persephone ran to the edge of the meadow that stopped at a dark forest. The disguised voice of her mother came from somewhere inside it, calling for help. She rushed in...
...only to find herself in a strange building with a robed escort who led her to a waiting chair with a single spotlight. "Where's my mother?" she said in a panic.
"Not to worry my dear, she's been taken care of by the doctors and they're taking her home now. But you've just won a spot on the Dating Game! Just sit right there and the host will explain everything to you."
The attendant, who had really been Hades in disguise, laughed at his own genius. He disappeared around a corner, morphed into the host, and came back out. Persephone looked totally confused and more than a little perplexed, but she played along.
"Ah, here you are!" he beamed, hovering around her like all annoying game show hosts do. "Such a lovely young lady you are, too! How you feeling? Good!" he finished, clapping his hands together before she could answer. "Such fine weather we're having. Now let's get started! We have three dashing young bachelor gods with us today who are going to try to win a date with you." Persephone's face brightened considerably and she giggled. Hades couldn't resist a smirk. "I'll let them take their turns trying to charm you and you get to decide which one shares your sunshine, you with me?" Persephone nodded dumbly. "Good! Let's get started! Heeeeeer's Bachelor number one!"
Pain's feeble and slimy voice started out. "Eeeah, I'm short but sweet, love music and dancing and I'm allergic to shellfish. How 'bout you let me swim in YOUR ocean, baby?" Persephone made a face and Hades as host smacked his forehead.
"A real winner, that one is." he said sarcastically. "Let's go to Bachelor number two!"
Panic started his own bad sound effects to a rap song to put his feelings into words. "A boom-boom-chick! A boom-boom-chick! (complete with spitting and grunting sounds) I've been around the world but never seen a girl like you (ahuh-a-huh-ahuh)...I like the way you walk, the way you talk, even the way you chew! Boom-boom-smack, boom-boom-smack, grunta-grunta pppppbttt!"
Hades' face was now buried in his hands. Persephone was in total shock, her eyes glazed over, her hands gripping the chair. "What...was....that?" she uttered.
"Excuse me for a moment." Hades said, zipping out of sight. Instead of returning, he sent Pain out as the morphed host, and ducked into the third makeshift booth. "And now, last but not least...Bachelor number three!" Pain announced with flourish. Immediately, cigarette smoke that smelled like incense curled up over the booth and reached out with sentient tendrils to tickle Persephone under the chin. A suave, smooth male voice sounded from the booth. "Pay no attention to those imbeciles." he said in a serpentine way, his words measured and hypnotizing her. "I am the one you want, my succulent little sunflower. I will give you everything your heart desires. A night out with me will leave you...dying...for more."
Persephone sat frozen, with shock or amazement she didn't know which. "So which bachelor will it be?" the host said. "One, two or three?"
"No contest." Persephone said, fairly swooning. "I gotta go with number three."
Immediately, the scene vanished to be replaced by the very real, and very dark, forest, lit now only by Hades' blue glow. Pain and Panic emerged with a flourish, jumping in front of him. "Ta-daaa!" they said for emphasis.
"Heh-heh, good work, boys." Hades smiled one of his rare smiles at them.
"Hades!" Persephone yelled in a very unsunshiny voice. "You tricked me you son of a..."
The god held up his hand. "Now, now, none of that. You have to claim your consolation prize. Rather, I have to claim my consolation prize. You owe me a date, remember?" Before she could scream for her mother or protest, he picked her swiftly up, slung her over his shoulder and carried her off in his chariot. Pain and Panic soon joined them with Pleasure and Peace still gagged in the seat.
"What have you done with Pleasure and Peace?" Persephone demanded, glaring at them."Dating game my pink patooti! I've got a scream and I know how to use it!"
Hades rolled his eyes, not for the first time that day. "Oh please, not the damsel in distress routine.It's getting boring. Relax. Living in the underworld's not as bad as they all say it is up there. You get a free heated pool, all the food you can eat, twenty four hour entertainment and you get to rule half my kingdom. Besides, I hear your mother's a real bitch." he added, to her chagrin.
"For your information, hotlips, my MOTHER is NOT a bitch! She lets me out...occasionally." she added meekly.
Meanwhile, Persephone had been discreetly unworking Pleasure and Peace's mouth gags and ropes. They promptly screamed their tiny lungs out, momentarily throwing the chariot off course. Persephone laughed, and Hades flamed...literally.
"What in the blue blazes is THAT?"
Pain and Panic quickly gagged them again. "Got it under control, Boss, no problem." Panic said with a nervous laugh. Hades just growled and whipped the gryphon to fly faster.