Chapter VII - 'Sleepy Hollow' much?
~~~~~~~~~~
"What is it?"
"The frenchie said 't was a watch. . ."
"Don't look like one to me. . ."
"Aye. What'd the numbers mean?"
"Haven't' a clue, but look. . ."
The innkeeper scooted closer to the two men across the table and grinning pressed the button on the side of Xanders' watch, making the LCD screen light up green for a few seconds. Heaving impressed his two friends he put the watch back in his tunic. He'd gotten it from the scary stranger last night for two night's stay. That was a bargain by anyone's standards!
~~~~~~~~
Xander slowly swam back to consciousness after the restless nights sleep. He groaned as he realized that he'd been less than completely useless in their little adventure so far. He expected more from himself, considering what he did for a living. Or to stay living. Depending on how you looked at it. Well at least things seemed to be back to normal now that, the shock had worn off.
Spike was awake. He knew Xander had just woken up when the boy moved then groaned and turned to face him. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how the boy knew he wasn't still asleep.
"Hey. Not a dream then. . . ?"
"Not likely," # don't you dare say it! #
"What time is it?"
Xander asked, feeling for his watch as he tried to roll out of bed.
"'bout ten."
"Oh."
Spike saw the look that appeared on the boys face when he realized his watch was gone. It was like he remembered suddenly where it went. So that meant he remembered everything? Great. Things just seemed different in the metaphorical light of day. Spike checked the window just in case.
"Umm. . . sorry I went all 'zombie boy' on ya last night. . . I was pretty out of it. . ."# oh goody, something new and different for me! #
"No problem, pet" # you said it!. . . *I* am going to *hurt* you #
"Just don't zone out again. God knows you ain't got two brain cells to rub together, but you might come in useful. The innkeeper sure seemed interested. . ." Spike added. # great, I'm talking without my brain being involved in any way. How progressive of me. . . #
Xanders' eyes narrowed as he glared at the vampire. That look the man gave him last night entrenched it self in his memory. # what did you expect? He'd start being nice to you now that there's no one to impress? Riight. It looks like we're back to a scotch relationship. # Xander did a mental double take at his choice of words. # as in 'on the rocks'! # he quickly amended.
"Eww. And, is it a little dark in here?"
Xander reached for the makeshift curtain making Spike start from the bed, then lay back realizing the boy wouldn't really do it. Seeing his point had been made Xander took in their surroundings.
The room was small, rectangular with a low sealing and walls sloping inwards. Two beds lined each wall with a gap between them. There was a small round window in the far wall, under witch there was a chest of drawers with a wash bowl and jug on it. The door was at the other end of the room and next to it there was a small dressing table. Save a couple of chairs, that about completed the furnishings.
There wasn't a color scheme as such, it was more like everything was a natural variance of brown. Xander felt like he stuck out in the monotonous space in his lemon yellow pullover and blue shirt. But then, Xander unique dress sense ensured he felt like that most of the time.
Xander took stock of his rather crumpled clothes and ran a hand through his shaggy hair, thinking about how much he'd like a hot shower.
"Um.. is there a bathroom?"
"yeah, out side. I wouldn't count on running water."
Xander looked like Spike had just poured salt on an open wound. Despite appearance his hygiene habits were definitely better suited to the twentieth century.
"Great!"
Xander was frustrated. And cold. He shivered.
"What? No central heating either? And here I was getting my hopes up."
"It's not all bad. . . well it is, but at least we're gettin' out a' ere soon."
The slayerette nodded desperate agreement and getting up, peeked through the crack in the window.
"Sleepy Hollow much?"
"Huh?"
"So what's the plan?"
"Careful with that!"
Xander replaced the curtain and turned around. Spike had gotten to his feet also and was pacing. Something of an accomplishment in the cramped space, Xander thought. The out side looked. . . well, gray. It was like what you'd be left with if you took all the heat and color out of a place. Weird. Depressingly so. But nature called and with a small amount of unspeakable terror he left the room saying he'd be right back. # The ultimate jinx that never fails! # But he could take care of himself. He could. Yes. Just as Xander had convinced himself the ultimate jinx that never failed did just that.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A short while later a panicked Xander ran in to the room just as Spike was going out to look for him. Well, # not *look* for him! #, but that argument with himself had ended in some out of tune singing as so many Xander- thoughts did.
"Will ya watch where you're going!! What in blazes's the matter with you?!"
Spike extricated himself from the tumble of limbs. The whelp had burst through the door with such unexpected speed that they ended up tangled together on the floorboards. Under different circumstances, not the worst place to find your self, thought Spike, but not being a little upset would give the game away. Xander blushed getting up, dusting himself off nervously and glanced back at the door.
"Ugh! Sorry, you alright?"
A brief moment of confusion followed, where in Spike was tying to work out why Xander was so out of character. # am *I* alright? When did he start caring? # he was still waiting for the hounds of hell to burst through the door.
"What's after you?"
The boy looked flustered for a moment, then shrugged, trying hard to think of a change of subject. He'd just had an encounter with that fat guy from the other night and he could only understand every other word he said, so Xander decided to get back to Spike, ahem, the *room* as fast as possible.
"Oh, nothing. I just. . . lets just say you were right about the innkeeper."
Spikes eyes flashed gold for a second. He shook it off. He couldn't suppress his protective instinct for a moment there he almost lost it. The boys' sent wasn't doing anything to suppress his baser instincts either, so it seemed like a good idea to relocate for a while to cool off. He headed for the door.
"Spike? Where you off to?"
Xander asked a little apprehensively. Yes, the vampire supposed it could look like he was storming out of the room in a murderous rage. He smiled.
"Just thought I'd go beat the shit out of that sleaze ball. Be right back, pet." At the wink and cocky smile, Xander relaxed knowing the vampire was joking.
"Yeah, well bring me some breakfast while you're at it!"
Spike was walking out the door.
"What am I, room service?"
Xander tried not to pout and make puppy eyes at he vamp, who sighed theatrically and walked out of the room. It worked like a charm. . . # hold on, did I just give Spike the patented puppy eyes look? # # well it worked didn't it. . .# # that's not the point! Wait a moment. . . it worked? # # someone's got a cru-ush. . .# # I do *not* !! # # then stop talking to yourself! #
Spike carefully avoided the patch of light leaking in through the window as he made his way down the stairs. He decided to go find a high stakes poker game down at the bar, not only would they need money, but also the other players were far too drunk to realize he was pumping them for information. They would need that too.
~~~~~~
Afterwards, when no one had any more money to loose, Spike came back up to their room. Heaving to keep up the 'William' persona for so long was emotionally taxing. He could have just gone back to being Spike. The clientele here wasn't exactly the cream of society, but he figured that if he could pass for a mark, they'd be more willing to play. The vampire dropped on to the bed and curled around a pillow with a sigh. Xander thought that it would be only polite to let the vampire know he was there.
"That bad, huh?"
Spike looked up, and seeing he wasn't alone, uncurled with as much dignity as he could muster and got up.
"didn't know you were still 'ere."
# Uh oh. He's looking for his cigarettes, and he didn't call me 'pet'. Two very bad signs. #
Earlier, Spike had brought Xander some food as promised, and after breakfast ( consisting of things that only vaguely resembled food) the slayerette said that he might go out on the town, so to speak. Since they were in the past, he might as well make the most of it. He promised the vampire to be careful and they both left. The adventure was short lived for Xander though, as the stares people were giving him got unnerving and soon he came back to the inn. Well at lest Xander knew where they were now. And when.
"So, um, d'you know where we are?"
Spike shot him a look that could only be described as sadistic if you wanted to be positive.
"Were we are is one hundred and thirty nine years ago, in the only place in the world that's *worse* than hell, with no foreseeable hope of getting back, barring mummification! Anything else?!"
# Where did that come form? # they both thought at the same time, but the flood gates had opened and there was no taking it back.
"Oh, what happened to 'we're getting out of here in no time' ? That was what you kept insisting on yesterday!"
Xander had meant that to be tension barker, but it came out sounding bitter instead.
"Well maybe if you hadn't been crackin' up at the time, I would've told you the truth!"
"Since when do you care!!?"
Spike realized that the boy was taking this personally and this being a bigger issue for him, the vampire decided to try and backpedal
"Xander,"
But Xander cut him off, his voice rising another decibel or ten, and if he was loud before, he was downright yelling now.
"Anyway, I told you we weren't getting out of here yesterday, all you had to do was keep your mouth shut!!"
"Listen,"
"Oh what?! You're gonna tell me it's all gonna be fine now? I'm stuck in the past with *you* and I can't do anything about it except wait and hope someone else comes through for me for once!!"
"They'll get,"
"NO! Look, you don't know what it's like being the one that, that. . ."
Xander was breathing hard now pointing an accusing finger at Spike but the words had just stopped. Even so, Spike was sure he knew what the slayerette was going to say if he could. Even if he didn't know it himself. Xander had to rely on other people to save him and despite how much he loved them, he didn't trust them. Didn't trust them to come through for him. # what would get a person like Xander to think he wasn't worth the effort? # thought Spike. Two very un-vampire like thoughts were chasing themselves through his brain. One, he felt like shit for heaving been the cause of Xanders' distress, and two, he couldn't help but think that in the grand scheme of universal unfairness, this one took the biscuit. The boy didn't deserve this! # it's not bloody fair. . . , listen to yer self you nonce. It's not like you're in love with him or somethin'. Right? Oh, soddin' hell. #
Spike sat down on the edge of the bed. The gesture spoke volumes in the tense atmosphere. Xander had run out of stem half way through a sentence, and was standing in the middle of the room, jaw clenched, digging his nails in to the palms of his hands to try and get his emotions back under control. It had just all been too much suddenly. He felt sick, but there was no way he was crying in front of Spike again. Logically he shouldn't care what the vamp thought of him, but some how just heaving a goal made him feel better. Useful, somehow. And he needed to be useful. Being useless led to badness. That was the one lesson life had firmly entrenched on the young man's subconscious.
"I ran in to an old friend yesterday."
Spike hated the change of subject. The words hung in the air. It was the only way he could think of to fix this though. Spike knew that Xander would focus on his problem so he decided to share.
Xanders' expression changed suddenly. He had been so caught up with himself that he didn't stop to consider what started all this. he could tell it was a blatant change of subject but it seemed as though the vampire didn't want to talk about whatever it was, but was telling him about it anyway. That helped Xander take control of himself. He sat down next to Spike on the bed.
"didn't know who it was until today though. Funny thing that." this was big. Not a lot of things could get Spike to act like it was bothering him and none of them good.
"who was it?"
Spike realized that while his brilliant idea had worked, it paved the way for the unavoidable spillage of his guts about the whole thing. Great.
"I knew a girl called Cicily back in the day."
"Did you have a thing? Ohh, this wasn't in the watchers' diaries. . ."
Xander was trying to lighten the mood, Spike seemed genuinely depressed. He wanted to help. Despite his moral standpoint on helping soul-less killers. This was Spike after all.
"no, I wouldn't think this would be. This was before I was turned."
Xander listened attentively as Spike told him about Cicily Young, the love of his life. how it hurt to be rejected by her and humiliated by her friends. He noticed periodically, Spikes' accent would slip, and if the vampire noticed, he would clench his jaw, sigh and shake it off in annoyance, launching fervently in to cockney again. Strange. Xander was under no illusions that Spike would under no circumstances want to stay here. After all, why not? The gambling possibilities alone were enough of an incentive. And Spike was immortal. But no, something told Xander that the vampire wanted to be there less than he did, and that's saying something. Xander found himself wondering why the vampire wouldn't at least enjoy the experience while it lasted: It would be like reliving a childhood. Then he remembered his own childhood. The end of Spikes tale had laid any doubts Xander had about Spike wanting to stay to rest. It was a lot to process. The amount of times he'd tried to figure Spike out. . . and now, he hadn't even asked and he'd just had a good deal of it explained to him. The way Spike described himself, beside the conflicting imagery Xander found hard to visualize, knowing Spike now, it was a sure bet a psychiatrist would have a field day! Now Xander knew why Spike was so different from all other vampires.
Xander wasn't saying anything. He just sat there. Spike felt like he was on trail, and why should the boy's opinion count for anything anyway? Would he even care? All the same, it was hard telling him what happened. The last night he'd been alive. Being turned. The night that followed. . . The things he did to the woman he idolized as a mortal. He was far more clever than Angelus when he wanted to be, oh yes, unfortunately for poor Cecily. That night would stay with him forever, because what he did then, as a fledgling barley knowing left from right in his new existence, he had always *regretted* . At first he'd tried to ignore the feeling. For the first one hundred years or so. Drusilla always knew though. Vampires weren't supposed to be able to regret things. ' My sweet Spike, all shiny, you are! Like a candle. . . in a window. Try to get in but there is the glass. . . you can't see Spike!' she used to say thing like that to him. He didn't understand her at first. In fact a misinterpretation had led to his trademark hair color. But it made perfect sense now.
"Wow."
Xander knew he wasn't expressing himself very well, but # Wow! #
Xander thinking of Spike as a monster was starting to really bother the vampire and he was glad that the boy had finally said something. And it wasn't the horror slash disgust he'd been half expecting.
"You were a poet?"
Xander smiled and Spike couldn't help but smile back. Xander was trying to make him feel better about the whole thing. The vampire let out a breath he'd been holding.
"Yeah pet. I was bloody awful though, at least I was good enough to know that."
Xander still couldn't believe Spike had told him all that. The 'Big Bad' had issues about appearing weak in front of anybody, and Xander felt oddly glad that Spike could tell him this. Not that he wasn't slightly wigged out, and it appeared as though Spike was expecting some from of recrimination from him, but Xander just wanted to make things better. While he was feeling all this, his brain had figured certain thing out. Making things better was suddenly a real possibility. That must be why Spike was freaked.
@-----;--------------;--------@
"Don't be too hard on your self."
The double intendo wasn't lost on Spike, he was amazed to hear what sounded like 'it's in the past so don't beat your self up about it on my account', if you read between the lines. The vampire really tried to hide his smile but failed miserably. Xander grinned back. This didn't solve any of their problems, yet both felt better now that they had something they shared.
". . . or else I'll have to go look up stuff by William Wordsworth and see for my self. ."
"Don't even dream!. . ."
Spike realized Xander was joking. He also realized that the boy, heaving done something clever, felt the need to convince him that he was still the same old Xander. He wasn't falling for that act anymore though. # But why the pretense?# He wondered, not for the first time.
# Ok, time for a change of subject # thought Xander. He was sure that they were heaving a moment just when he told Spike to 'forget it' and the vampire smiled. Fuzzy feelings started to float around Xanders' head, so a change of subject seemed in order.
"oh, this means I have to go to a library don't I? Oh well, small price to pay, when we get back, it'll be worth years of blackmail! Hmm, William Wordsworth-"
"don't call me that."
Xander had really been getting in to it, so being cut off came as a surprise and he snapped his mouth shut with a click. The words weren't harsh, just. . . honest.
"ok."
He said meekly. Then he turned to look at the vampire.
"Spike."
And now they were heaving another moment. Followed by blushing and fidgeting.
Followed by frantic scrambling for something to say. The tension finally snapped when Xander couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. He didn't know what was funny, but whatever it was apparently Spike also found it amusing. When they were done,
Xander was laying backwards on the bed and Spike was sitting on the floor leaning back against the bed frame. # hmm, where was I? Oh yeah. . . # Spike remembered what it was that was troubling Xander in the first place.
"When?"
The harsh panting behind him stopped.
"huh?"
Xander couldn't help the momentary panic that made his breath catch and his heart beat faster. The unexpected question made Xander think that Spike somehow knew more than he let on. The way that any question does to someone who has something to hide. # No! he can't. Anyway, there's nothing for him to know, even if he did which he doesn't. Stop being an idiot. Now. #
"you said, '*when* we get back'. 's that mean you think we have a shot at it then?"
Xander glared good-naturedly. He'd walked in to that one. But he had to admit, things didn't seem as dire all of a sudden. # What's the worst that could happen? #
"yeah. . . Blindfolded and at a moving target but, yeah. . ."
"ah, always the optimist aren't you, pet? Don't fret, I bet the Scoobies're doin' everything they can to get you back. Bet they're heaving a worse time of it than we are!"
Spike thought a little optimism wasn't out of order right then. All they had to do was sit tight and wait to be rescued.
"us."
Xander said after a moment's thought, with a sense of conviction. It was Spikes' turn to be confused.
"They're doing everything they can to get *us* back."
Xander clarified. He realized that all things being equal, this whole experience must be a lot hared for Spike than him. Of course things weren't equal. Xander always seemed to be the one in need of comforting and reassurance. To himself at least. (To every one else he was the rock to lean on when things got really tough. They hadn't reached that point in their journey. Yet.)
"Yeah."
Spike said with a self depreciating smirk.
". . . 'm sure they can't wait to see me again."
Spike hadn't said it for sympathy, or out of self pity but facts were facts.
Xander thought for a moment. Ok, so none of them had signed a card saying 'welcome to the Scooby club' but Spike had to know that he was part of their extended family, as he liked to think of it. Right? Well, he didn't get along with Buffy sometimes and he seemed to get special pleasure out of torturing Giles, ( a trait they shared), but that was just Spike. Everyone excepted that. Did he know? Xander felt a pang in his chest. He imagined for a moment what it would be like for him if he didn't know this.
"Yes."
Xander sat up on the bed and put his hand on the vampires' shoulder, making the blonde turn and face him.
"But they would never leave you here. You know that."
It wasn't a question. Xander couldn't stand the consequences of it being a question. Spike just nodded, stunned by the conviction in the boys' voice. There was a full minutes' silence, during witch both occupants of the room came to terms with everything said and unsaid. Spike was the one to finally break it.
"all the same, I think we should have a back up plan. . ."
Xander smiled at the contemplative tone the vampire had adopted. He knew the blonde menace was smarter than he let on.
"oh, you mean to sitting here waiting to be rescued?"
The boy echoed Spikes' thoughts from earlier.
"yeah, that."
Xander surprised himself by wanting to voice his idea. Normally he'd just wait and see if anyone else came up with it, but since there was only the two of them. # besides, this is Spike. . . he's not going to laugh at you. All right he will, but. . . oh just say it! # the absurdity of the thought was too painful to dwell on. He was afraid to speak up in front of his friends, but not Spike?
"well, um. . . we're in merry ol' England right?"
"Right."
Spike said as encouragingly as he could and climbed on to the foot of the bed, sitting opposite Xander.
"So, I was thinking, that, well the. . . the council might be able to help us?"
Spike sat there with a smile tugging at his lips, looking at Xander with something like pride. He had picked up a lot about the boy during the last two years, and was unashamedly happy that he let his guard down. Although Xander was close to wincing and a blush was creeping across his face. # probably waiting for you to laugh. #
"well?"
Xander said in a small voice. This whole thing was somehow more deep and meaningful than he intended. And now Spike was just sitting there looking at him. He blushed wishing he would get on with it.
Right about then the vampire realized he'd zoned out and cleared his throat unnecessarily looking anywhere but at the person opposite him.
"oh, err, right. Council."
This idea had occurred to Spike too, but he wanted to see what he boy had to say. Meanwhile Xander looked on confused. What had Spike been thinking about?
"don't know how to break it to ya pet, but in those days they didn't exactly jump at the chance to help the 'evil undead'. . ."
Xander was feeling something akin to moral outrage at every one ,(including Spike), assuming he was just another vampire.
"They'll have to help us. Because. . ."
After a short silence and a raised eyebrow from Spike Xander added
"because you're our friend."
And promptly looked down, thus not noticing the fact that Spikes' jaw hit the ground and something that could be described as a misty look appeared in his expressive eyes. # not 'because you're a good vampire' not 'because you're harmless'. * 'because you're our friend' *. Xanders' friend. # It may not have meant much to the council but it was worth everything to Spike. In the world according to Xander, Spike was his friend. It was enough just to know that.
"So, I guess that means you have to trust me then, pet?"
At that Xander looked up and took a break from kicking himself. Spike leaned closer across the bed and put his hand on Xanders shoulder just like he'd done earlier and he was transfixed by the vampires' intense clear blue gaze. As Spike said the next words, the same thought crossed their minds. A thought that made one heart race and one wish it could.
"We're getting out of here. I promise."
~~~~~~~
TBC. . .
A/N: Thank you again for reviewing, you guys keep me going. Sorry about all the spelling/grammer mistakes, I don't have a beta. And as somebody pointed out, when I say 'chouse' I mean 'cause' (me and my spellcheck have issues:) I'll post this again after I finish, and get someone to go over it for me.
Ps: Special thanks to Mia, your review gave me an idea that helped clear up a case of writers block!
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"What is it?"
"The frenchie said 't was a watch. . ."
"Don't look like one to me. . ."
"Aye. What'd the numbers mean?"
"Haven't' a clue, but look. . ."
The innkeeper scooted closer to the two men across the table and grinning pressed the button on the side of Xanders' watch, making the LCD screen light up green for a few seconds. Heaving impressed his two friends he put the watch back in his tunic. He'd gotten it from the scary stranger last night for two night's stay. That was a bargain by anyone's standards!
~~~~~~~~
Xander slowly swam back to consciousness after the restless nights sleep. He groaned as he realized that he'd been less than completely useless in their little adventure so far. He expected more from himself, considering what he did for a living. Or to stay living. Depending on how you looked at it. Well at least things seemed to be back to normal now that, the shock had worn off.
Spike was awake. He knew Xander had just woken up when the boy moved then groaned and turned to face him. For the life of him he couldn't figure out how the boy knew he wasn't still asleep.
"Hey. Not a dream then. . . ?"
"Not likely," # don't you dare say it! #
"What time is it?"
Xander asked, feeling for his watch as he tried to roll out of bed.
"'bout ten."
"Oh."
Spike saw the look that appeared on the boys face when he realized his watch was gone. It was like he remembered suddenly where it went. So that meant he remembered everything? Great. Things just seemed different in the metaphorical light of day. Spike checked the window just in case.
"Umm. . . sorry I went all 'zombie boy' on ya last night. . . I was pretty out of it. . ."# oh goody, something new and different for me! #
"No problem, pet" # you said it!. . . *I* am going to *hurt* you #
"Just don't zone out again. God knows you ain't got two brain cells to rub together, but you might come in useful. The innkeeper sure seemed interested. . ." Spike added. # great, I'm talking without my brain being involved in any way. How progressive of me. . . #
Xanders' eyes narrowed as he glared at the vampire. That look the man gave him last night entrenched it self in his memory. # what did you expect? He'd start being nice to you now that there's no one to impress? Riight. It looks like we're back to a scotch relationship. # Xander did a mental double take at his choice of words. # as in 'on the rocks'! # he quickly amended.
"Eww. And, is it a little dark in here?"
Xander reached for the makeshift curtain making Spike start from the bed, then lay back realizing the boy wouldn't really do it. Seeing his point had been made Xander took in their surroundings.
The room was small, rectangular with a low sealing and walls sloping inwards. Two beds lined each wall with a gap between them. There was a small round window in the far wall, under witch there was a chest of drawers with a wash bowl and jug on it. The door was at the other end of the room and next to it there was a small dressing table. Save a couple of chairs, that about completed the furnishings.
There wasn't a color scheme as such, it was more like everything was a natural variance of brown. Xander felt like he stuck out in the monotonous space in his lemon yellow pullover and blue shirt. But then, Xander unique dress sense ensured he felt like that most of the time.
Xander took stock of his rather crumpled clothes and ran a hand through his shaggy hair, thinking about how much he'd like a hot shower.
"Um.. is there a bathroom?"
"yeah, out side. I wouldn't count on running water."
Xander looked like Spike had just poured salt on an open wound. Despite appearance his hygiene habits were definitely better suited to the twentieth century.
"Great!"
Xander was frustrated. And cold. He shivered.
"What? No central heating either? And here I was getting my hopes up."
"It's not all bad. . . well it is, but at least we're gettin' out a' ere soon."
The slayerette nodded desperate agreement and getting up, peeked through the crack in the window.
"Sleepy Hollow much?"
"Huh?"
"So what's the plan?"
"Careful with that!"
Xander replaced the curtain and turned around. Spike had gotten to his feet also and was pacing. Something of an accomplishment in the cramped space, Xander thought. The out side looked. . . well, gray. It was like what you'd be left with if you took all the heat and color out of a place. Weird. Depressingly so. But nature called and with a small amount of unspeakable terror he left the room saying he'd be right back. # The ultimate jinx that never fails! # But he could take care of himself. He could. Yes. Just as Xander had convinced himself the ultimate jinx that never failed did just that.
~~~~~~~~~~~
A short while later a panicked Xander ran in to the room just as Spike was going out to look for him. Well, # not *look* for him! #, but that argument with himself had ended in some out of tune singing as so many Xander- thoughts did.
"Will ya watch where you're going!! What in blazes's the matter with you?!"
Spike extricated himself from the tumble of limbs. The whelp had burst through the door with such unexpected speed that they ended up tangled together on the floorboards. Under different circumstances, not the worst place to find your self, thought Spike, but not being a little upset would give the game away. Xander blushed getting up, dusting himself off nervously and glanced back at the door.
"Ugh! Sorry, you alright?"
A brief moment of confusion followed, where in Spike was tying to work out why Xander was so out of character. # am *I* alright? When did he start caring? # he was still waiting for the hounds of hell to burst through the door.
"What's after you?"
The boy looked flustered for a moment, then shrugged, trying hard to think of a change of subject. He'd just had an encounter with that fat guy from the other night and he could only understand every other word he said, so Xander decided to get back to Spike, ahem, the *room* as fast as possible.
"Oh, nothing. I just. . . lets just say you were right about the innkeeper."
Spikes eyes flashed gold for a second. He shook it off. He couldn't suppress his protective instinct for a moment there he almost lost it. The boys' sent wasn't doing anything to suppress his baser instincts either, so it seemed like a good idea to relocate for a while to cool off. He headed for the door.
"Spike? Where you off to?"
Xander asked a little apprehensively. Yes, the vampire supposed it could look like he was storming out of the room in a murderous rage. He smiled.
"Just thought I'd go beat the shit out of that sleaze ball. Be right back, pet." At the wink and cocky smile, Xander relaxed knowing the vampire was joking.
"Yeah, well bring me some breakfast while you're at it!"
Spike was walking out the door.
"What am I, room service?"
Xander tried not to pout and make puppy eyes at he vamp, who sighed theatrically and walked out of the room. It worked like a charm. . . # hold on, did I just give Spike the patented puppy eyes look? # # well it worked didn't it. . .# # that's not the point! Wait a moment. . . it worked? # # someone's got a cru-ush. . .# # I do *not* !! # # then stop talking to yourself! #
Spike carefully avoided the patch of light leaking in through the window as he made his way down the stairs. He decided to go find a high stakes poker game down at the bar, not only would they need money, but also the other players were far too drunk to realize he was pumping them for information. They would need that too.
~~~~~~
Afterwards, when no one had any more money to loose, Spike came back up to their room. Heaving to keep up the 'William' persona for so long was emotionally taxing. He could have just gone back to being Spike. The clientele here wasn't exactly the cream of society, but he figured that if he could pass for a mark, they'd be more willing to play. The vampire dropped on to the bed and curled around a pillow with a sigh. Xander thought that it would be only polite to let the vampire know he was there.
"That bad, huh?"
Spike looked up, and seeing he wasn't alone, uncurled with as much dignity as he could muster and got up.
"didn't know you were still 'ere."
# Uh oh. He's looking for his cigarettes, and he didn't call me 'pet'. Two very bad signs. #
Earlier, Spike had brought Xander some food as promised, and after breakfast ( consisting of things that only vaguely resembled food) the slayerette said that he might go out on the town, so to speak. Since they were in the past, he might as well make the most of it. He promised the vampire to be careful and they both left. The adventure was short lived for Xander though, as the stares people were giving him got unnerving and soon he came back to the inn. Well at lest Xander knew where they were now. And when.
"So, um, d'you know where we are?"
Spike shot him a look that could only be described as sadistic if you wanted to be positive.
"Were we are is one hundred and thirty nine years ago, in the only place in the world that's *worse* than hell, with no foreseeable hope of getting back, barring mummification! Anything else?!"
# Where did that come form? # they both thought at the same time, but the flood gates had opened and there was no taking it back.
"Oh, what happened to 'we're getting out of here in no time' ? That was what you kept insisting on yesterday!"
Xander had meant that to be tension barker, but it came out sounding bitter instead.
"Well maybe if you hadn't been crackin' up at the time, I would've told you the truth!"
"Since when do you care!!?"
Spike realized that the boy was taking this personally and this being a bigger issue for him, the vampire decided to try and backpedal
"Xander,"
But Xander cut him off, his voice rising another decibel or ten, and if he was loud before, he was downright yelling now.
"Anyway, I told you we weren't getting out of here yesterday, all you had to do was keep your mouth shut!!"
"Listen,"
"Oh what?! You're gonna tell me it's all gonna be fine now? I'm stuck in the past with *you* and I can't do anything about it except wait and hope someone else comes through for me for once!!"
"They'll get,"
"NO! Look, you don't know what it's like being the one that, that. . ."
Xander was breathing hard now pointing an accusing finger at Spike but the words had just stopped. Even so, Spike was sure he knew what the slayerette was going to say if he could. Even if he didn't know it himself. Xander had to rely on other people to save him and despite how much he loved them, he didn't trust them. Didn't trust them to come through for him. # what would get a person like Xander to think he wasn't worth the effort? # thought Spike. Two very un-vampire like thoughts were chasing themselves through his brain. One, he felt like shit for heaving been the cause of Xanders' distress, and two, he couldn't help but think that in the grand scheme of universal unfairness, this one took the biscuit. The boy didn't deserve this! # it's not bloody fair. . . , listen to yer self you nonce. It's not like you're in love with him or somethin'. Right? Oh, soddin' hell. #
Spike sat down on the edge of the bed. The gesture spoke volumes in the tense atmosphere. Xander had run out of stem half way through a sentence, and was standing in the middle of the room, jaw clenched, digging his nails in to the palms of his hands to try and get his emotions back under control. It had just all been too much suddenly. He felt sick, but there was no way he was crying in front of Spike again. Logically he shouldn't care what the vamp thought of him, but some how just heaving a goal made him feel better. Useful, somehow. And he needed to be useful. Being useless led to badness. That was the one lesson life had firmly entrenched on the young man's subconscious.
"I ran in to an old friend yesterday."
Spike hated the change of subject. The words hung in the air. It was the only way he could think of to fix this though. Spike knew that Xander would focus on his problem so he decided to share.
Xanders' expression changed suddenly. He had been so caught up with himself that he didn't stop to consider what started all this. he could tell it was a blatant change of subject but it seemed as though the vampire didn't want to talk about whatever it was, but was telling him about it anyway. That helped Xander take control of himself. He sat down next to Spike on the bed.
"didn't know who it was until today though. Funny thing that." this was big. Not a lot of things could get Spike to act like it was bothering him and none of them good.
"who was it?"
Spike realized that while his brilliant idea had worked, it paved the way for the unavoidable spillage of his guts about the whole thing. Great.
"I knew a girl called Cicily back in the day."
"Did you have a thing? Ohh, this wasn't in the watchers' diaries. . ."
Xander was trying to lighten the mood, Spike seemed genuinely depressed. He wanted to help. Despite his moral standpoint on helping soul-less killers. This was Spike after all.
"no, I wouldn't think this would be. This was before I was turned."
Xander listened attentively as Spike told him about Cicily Young, the love of his life. how it hurt to be rejected by her and humiliated by her friends. He noticed periodically, Spikes' accent would slip, and if the vampire noticed, he would clench his jaw, sigh and shake it off in annoyance, launching fervently in to cockney again. Strange. Xander was under no illusions that Spike would under no circumstances want to stay here. After all, why not? The gambling possibilities alone were enough of an incentive. And Spike was immortal. But no, something told Xander that the vampire wanted to be there less than he did, and that's saying something. Xander found himself wondering why the vampire wouldn't at least enjoy the experience while it lasted: It would be like reliving a childhood. Then he remembered his own childhood. The end of Spikes tale had laid any doubts Xander had about Spike wanting to stay to rest. It was a lot to process. The amount of times he'd tried to figure Spike out. . . and now, he hadn't even asked and he'd just had a good deal of it explained to him. The way Spike described himself, beside the conflicting imagery Xander found hard to visualize, knowing Spike now, it was a sure bet a psychiatrist would have a field day! Now Xander knew why Spike was so different from all other vampires.
Xander wasn't saying anything. He just sat there. Spike felt like he was on trail, and why should the boy's opinion count for anything anyway? Would he even care? All the same, it was hard telling him what happened. The last night he'd been alive. Being turned. The night that followed. . . The things he did to the woman he idolized as a mortal. He was far more clever than Angelus when he wanted to be, oh yes, unfortunately for poor Cecily. That night would stay with him forever, because what he did then, as a fledgling barley knowing left from right in his new existence, he had always *regretted* . At first he'd tried to ignore the feeling. For the first one hundred years or so. Drusilla always knew though. Vampires weren't supposed to be able to regret things. ' My sweet Spike, all shiny, you are! Like a candle. . . in a window. Try to get in but there is the glass. . . you can't see Spike!' she used to say thing like that to him. He didn't understand her at first. In fact a misinterpretation had led to his trademark hair color. But it made perfect sense now.
"Wow."
Xander knew he wasn't expressing himself very well, but # Wow! #
Xander thinking of Spike as a monster was starting to really bother the vampire and he was glad that the boy had finally said something. And it wasn't the horror slash disgust he'd been half expecting.
"You were a poet?"
Xander smiled and Spike couldn't help but smile back. Xander was trying to make him feel better about the whole thing. The vampire let out a breath he'd been holding.
"Yeah pet. I was bloody awful though, at least I was good enough to know that."
Xander still couldn't believe Spike had told him all that. The 'Big Bad' had issues about appearing weak in front of anybody, and Xander felt oddly glad that Spike could tell him this. Not that he wasn't slightly wigged out, and it appeared as though Spike was expecting some from of recrimination from him, but Xander just wanted to make things better. While he was feeling all this, his brain had figured certain thing out. Making things better was suddenly a real possibility. That must be why Spike was freaked.
@-----;--------------;--------@
"Don't be too hard on your self."
The double intendo wasn't lost on Spike, he was amazed to hear what sounded like 'it's in the past so don't beat your self up about it on my account', if you read between the lines. The vampire really tried to hide his smile but failed miserably. Xander grinned back. This didn't solve any of their problems, yet both felt better now that they had something they shared.
". . . or else I'll have to go look up stuff by William Wordsworth and see for my self. ."
"Don't even dream!. . ."
Spike realized Xander was joking. He also realized that the boy, heaving done something clever, felt the need to convince him that he was still the same old Xander. He wasn't falling for that act anymore though. # But why the pretense?# He wondered, not for the first time.
# Ok, time for a change of subject # thought Xander. He was sure that they were heaving a moment just when he told Spike to 'forget it' and the vampire smiled. Fuzzy feelings started to float around Xanders' head, so a change of subject seemed in order.
"oh, this means I have to go to a library don't I? Oh well, small price to pay, when we get back, it'll be worth years of blackmail! Hmm, William Wordsworth-"
"don't call me that."
Xander had really been getting in to it, so being cut off came as a surprise and he snapped his mouth shut with a click. The words weren't harsh, just. . . honest.
"ok."
He said meekly. Then he turned to look at the vampire.
"Spike."
And now they were heaving another moment. Followed by blushing and fidgeting.
Followed by frantic scrambling for something to say. The tension finally snapped when Xander couldn't take it anymore and burst out laughing. He didn't know what was funny, but whatever it was apparently Spike also found it amusing. When they were done,
Xander was laying backwards on the bed and Spike was sitting on the floor leaning back against the bed frame. # hmm, where was I? Oh yeah. . . # Spike remembered what it was that was troubling Xander in the first place.
"When?"
The harsh panting behind him stopped.
"huh?"
Xander couldn't help the momentary panic that made his breath catch and his heart beat faster. The unexpected question made Xander think that Spike somehow knew more than he let on. The way that any question does to someone who has something to hide. # No! he can't. Anyway, there's nothing for him to know, even if he did which he doesn't. Stop being an idiot. Now. #
"you said, '*when* we get back'. 's that mean you think we have a shot at it then?"
Xander glared good-naturedly. He'd walked in to that one. But he had to admit, things didn't seem as dire all of a sudden. # What's the worst that could happen? #
"yeah. . . Blindfolded and at a moving target but, yeah. . ."
"ah, always the optimist aren't you, pet? Don't fret, I bet the Scoobies're doin' everything they can to get you back. Bet they're heaving a worse time of it than we are!"
Spike thought a little optimism wasn't out of order right then. All they had to do was sit tight and wait to be rescued.
"us."
Xander said after a moment's thought, with a sense of conviction. It was Spikes' turn to be confused.
"They're doing everything they can to get *us* back."
Xander clarified. He realized that all things being equal, this whole experience must be a lot hared for Spike than him. Of course things weren't equal. Xander always seemed to be the one in need of comforting and reassurance. To himself at least. (To every one else he was the rock to lean on when things got really tough. They hadn't reached that point in their journey. Yet.)
"Yeah."
Spike said with a self depreciating smirk.
". . . 'm sure they can't wait to see me again."
Spike hadn't said it for sympathy, or out of self pity but facts were facts.
Xander thought for a moment. Ok, so none of them had signed a card saying 'welcome to the Scooby club' but Spike had to know that he was part of their extended family, as he liked to think of it. Right? Well, he didn't get along with Buffy sometimes and he seemed to get special pleasure out of torturing Giles, ( a trait they shared), but that was just Spike. Everyone excepted that. Did he know? Xander felt a pang in his chest. He imagined for a moment what it would be like for him if he didn't know this.
"Yes."
Xander sat up on the bed and put his hand on the vampires' shoulder, making the blonde turn and face him.
"But they would never leave you here. You know that."
It wasn't a question. Xander couldn't stand the consequences of it being a question. Spike just nodded, stunned by the conviction in the boys' voice. There was a full minutes' silence, during witch both occupants of the room came to terms with everything said and unsaid. Spike was the one to finally break it.
"all the same, I think we should have a back up plan. . ."
Xander smiled at the contemplative tone the vampire had adopted. He knew the blonde menace was smarter than he let on.
"oh, you mean to sitting here waiting to be rescued?"
The boy echoed Spikes' thoughts from earlier.
"yeah, that."
Xander surprised himself by wanting to voice his idea. Normally he'd just wait and see if anyone else came up with it, but since there was only the two of them. # besides, this is Spike. . . he's not going to laugh at you. All right he will, but. . . oh just say it! # the absurdity of the thought was too painful to dwell on. He was afraid to speak up in front of his friends, but not Spike?
"well, um. . . we're in merry ol' England right?"
"Right."
Spike said as encouragingly as he could and climbed on to the foot of the bed, sitting opposite Xander.
"So, I was thinking, that, well the. . . the council might be able to help us?"
Spike sat there with a smile tugging at his lips, looking at Xander with something like pride. He had picked up a lot about the boy during the last two years, and was unashamedly happy that he let his guard down. Although Xander was close to wincing and a blush was creeping across his face. # probably waiting for you to laugh. #
"well?"
Xander said in a small voice. This whole thing was somehow more deep and meaningful than he intended. And now Spike was just sitting there looking at him. He blushed wishing he would get on with it.
Right about then the vampire realized he'd zoned out and cleared his throat unnecessarily looking anywhere but at the person opposite him.
"oh, err, right. Council."
This idea had occurred to Spike too, but he wanted to see what he boy had to say. Meanwhile Xander looked on confused. What had Spike been thinking about?
"don't know how to break it to ya pet, but in those days they didn't exactly jump at the chance to help the 'evil undead'. . ."
Xander was feeling something akin to moral outrage at every one ,(including Spike), assuming he was just another vampire.
"They'll have to help us. Because. . ."
After a short silence and a raised eyebrow from Spike Xander added
"because you're our friend."
And promptly looked down, thus not noticing the fact that Spikes' jaw hit the ground and something that could be described as a misty look appeared in his expressive eyes. # not 'because you're a good vampire' not 'because you're harmless'. * 'because you're our friend' *. Xanders' friend. # It may not have meant much to the council but it was worth everything to Spike. In the world according to Xander, Spike was his friend. It was enough just to know that.
"So, I guess that means you have to trust me then, pet?"
At that Xander looked up and took a break from kicking himself. Spike leaned closer across the bed and put his hand on Xanders shoulder just like he'd done earlier and he was transfixed by the vampires' intense clear blue gaze. As Spike said the next words, the same thought crossed their minds. A thought that made one heart race and one wish it could.
"We're getting out of here. I promise."
~~~~~~~
TBC. . .
A/N: Thank you again for reviewing, you guys keep me going. Sorry about all the spelling/grammer mistakes, I don't have a beta. And as somebody pointed out, when I say 'chouse' I mean 'cause' (me and my spellcheck have issues:) I'll post this again after I finish, and get someone to go over it for me.
Ps: Special thanks to Mia, your review gave me an idea that helped clear up a case of writers block!