Title: Dark Knight Over Sunnydale -6/?
Author: Godeater
Disclaimer: Don't own jack. Or anyone else that might appear in this
thing.
Summery: Xander's the original Dark Avenger. AU obviously.
Notes: This story has the same title as another Batman/Buffy fic I had
started. I threw that one away. Now I'm writing this one. See how that
works out? *g*
Cordelia Chase was perched on a stool, surrounded by her friends, feeling remarkably alone.
She felt that way a lot.
She was beyond popular. Beautiful in just about every way the word could be used. Her peers climbed over themselves to be around her. Her opinion could make or break just about any fad that passed her sight. She could destroy the social life of anyone with but a word and a look. She was the undisputed Queen of Sunnydale. Her hangers-on were legion.
Yet holding court at the Bronze, mobbed by dozens of her classmates for just a moment of her attention, she felt alone. 'Maybe you should tell them,' part of her mind said. 'How many of them do you think would get it? Would care?'
Her laugh caused just about everyone else to laugh as well, though they didn't have a clue as to what they were laughing at. 'They're sheep. You could go to school tomorrow wearing a potato sack and by the next day, all of them would be shopping for burlap.'
Sighing to herself, her eyes wandered around the crowded club, searching for something to distract her from Harmony's ramblings of her latest 'conquest'. The dance floor was packed with teenagers, all moving to the throbbing beats of hard techno that blasted out of the speakers. Strobe lights and lasers flashed on expensive silks and even more expensive tans. High fashion and toned flesh clashed under the flashing lights of the club, like some high-tech mating dance.
Which of course it was. Who was sleeping with who was the second most popular topic of discussion at Sunnydale High, right behind who was dumping who. Anyone who kept up with the social dynamics of the micro-universe that was Sunnydale High quickly realized just how twisted it was. Each circle dated within itself, often recycling relationships when two people had worked their way through everyone else. No one really associated outside of their level. Those who tried usually found themselves completely cut off from every level.
There were of course, exceptions to every rule, and so Cordelia found herself looking at one.
Willow Rosenburg should, by all rights, have been in the upper levels. In fact, on face value alone, she should have been one of Cordelia's group. Her family had the right money and history. She was more then pretty enough. And, Cordy suspected, that if she wished it, Willow could be just as cold and deceitful as the best of them. But Willow was an outsider. She didn't care about the way people thought of her. She was proud, not of her physical appearance, but her brains. The money her parents gave her was spent on computers and books, not on clothes and make up. Willow was one of those rare few people in school who could, when she wanted to, mix with any circle. She was smart enough to meet the geeks on their home turf, but savvy enough to bump heads with the elite. She was, generally, liked by just about everyone.
Part of Cordelia hated her for that.
People actually liked Willow. Even though she broke or ignored every rule that had ever existed in what it took to be popular. She was a geek and proud of it. She was bisexual, and open about it. She was, when it came down to it, a rebel. More importantly, she was happy.
Another part of Cordelia envied that.
Cordelia was feared. Respected. Not liked. At least, not by many. Her spot at the top of the heap was created out of the social corpses of many rivals. She'd fought hard for her role as the Queen. It was what made her important. It gave her an identity beyond just another pretty face and she held on to it like it was her first born child. She would destroy anyone who threatened her position and she made sure everyone knew it. She had to. A moment of weakness and it would all be ripped away from her by the competition that now surrounded her.
A moment of weakness.
She was having one right now, as she watched Xander Harris enter the Bronze.
Her breath caught and her heart raced. The grip on her glass tightened involuntarily.
The effect this boy had on her sometimes scared her. For a girl who prided herself on maintaining control of herself in every situation, the fact that Xander's smile could make her weak in the knees was distressing on a few levels. True, she did her best to hide his effect had on her, especially to him. He intimidated her in a way that no one else could. It wasn't his money, yeah he was super-rich, but after awhile, wealth becomes an abstract. And it wasn't just physical, though there was plenty of that. Sunnydale, Gotham City and California in general had plenty of drop-dead gorgeous guys to swoon over.
No. The things that Cordelia loved about Xander weren't things you could catch. His intelligence stunned her. For all of Willow's book smarts, she couldn't hold a candle to the perception and insight that Xander had. She'd seen him look at someone for less then a minute, and know move about them then if someone else had spoken with them for hours. His charm made her smile like a girl half her age, sometimes.
Cordelia admitted to herself that she didn't understand more then a small percentage of her boyfriend. The grief he held about his parents' death confused her. While everyone she knew went to therapists to get over even the smallest issue, Xander sometimes seemed to hold on to his loss with a white-knuckled grip. And it wasn't for attention, which she knew Xander shunned as much as she embraced it. He almost never mentioned his parents, to her or anyone else. The one conversation they'd had about it, was.painful. For her probably, more then him. Cordelia so wanted to know more about the boy she was involved with. She sometimes felt like a complete fool for being so happy that he shared anything with her at all.
And he did. Xander had shared things with her, private things, that she knew, that she believed that nobody else knew. Even the much loved Willow. Oh, she knew as well that Willow knew things about Xander that she would never know. That pained her, but she took more then a little bit of vicious comfort in the knowledge that Willow probably didn't know Xander nearly as well as the redhead would like to.
Neither of them did.
It was probably the one thing they really had in common.
Xander could have been a bridge for Willow and Cordelia to form a friendship on. Secretly, Cordy would have welcomed it. There were precious few people that the Queen of Sunnydale could enjoy a conversation with. That she could connect with on anything other then a superficial level. Cordelia knew that Willow was one of those people. Cordelia also knew that instead of being a bridge, Xander had become a wall.
Willow had never liked her, but since she'd started dating Xander, the redhead's animosity for the brunette girl had become borderline vicious. And Cordy responded in kind, most times even worse then she would have.
There was jealousy there, between the two of them. Willow resented Cordelia's physical relationship with Xander. Yes, Willow had a girlfriend, but her longing for her best friend had hardly been a secret. Cordelia resented that Willow had been a part of Xander's life since the beginning. That there were things that she could never touch, but Willow could.
Taking a small sip from her drink, Cordelia forced the thoughts away and simply enjoyed watching Xander. She'd never known anyone more comfortable with their body. He moved with purpose and confidence, in every situation. People always moved out of his way, even if they didn't know it. Watching him now, he moved like a knife in butter, though the crowded club.
. He slipped through crowds so quickly that the people didn't even see him, just a brief flash of deep black. Cordelia noticed, not for the first time, how her boyfriend could hide in plain sight of people. One of the most famous faces in the world, let alone this crummy town, and he could walk through it without catching a glance, if he didn't want to draw attention to himself.
'His fashion sense helps,' the brunette girl mused as she observed Xander's black pants, shirt and sports coat. Xander's habitual need to drape himself in dark clothing, and plant himself in the shadiest part of a room aided his need to stand apart from everyone else. Cordelia thought back to the afternoon and the 20 minutes she spent looking for her boyfriend in the courtyard at school. She mentally smacked herself when she finally saw him, sitting in plain sight, under the shade of tree.
Cordelia watched as Xander made his way over to the table where Willow was sitting with the new girl, Buffy.
The girl that had been having lunch with HER boyfriend.
Her eyes narrowed as she inspected the girl. 'Blond hair, obviously dyed,' Cordelia noted. Make up tastefully done, complimentary without nearing over done. Clothes were fashionable, but not exactly setting off dollar signs. They flattered the new girl, but were much more practical then most of the other fashion plates filling the club. 'Nice boots,' Cordelia admitted to herself. All in all, the new girl wouldn't have been much of a blip on her radar. Hardly worth notice as competition, perhaps marked as a possible if the girl ever got the idea and the money to make a run for Cordy's crown. In fact, Cordelia wouldn't have even given Buffy a second look at all, if she hadn't caught the blond having lunch with Xander.
Cordelia knew that Xander didn't have a superficial bone in his body. He judged people on a much different level then how they dressed or looked. But.well Buffy was obviously attractive. Very attractive. Cordelia could admit this to herself, but would rather have her tongue cut out then tell anyone else. And while Xander may be oblivious to the extreme hotness of his new friend, Cordelia was not.
While everyone at school may have thought that Sunnydale's Power Couple were as secure as a blue chip stock, Cordelia felt.actually knew inside her heart, that it was anything but. And while she thought and believed that she was in love with Xander Harris, a large part of her knew he wasn't with her. Oh, she knew that he cared for her. Probably more then he thought he would. She would catch brief glimpses of it, along with surprise, from Xander. But love her? She didn't think so. At least, not the way she wanted him to. And it hurt her to know that, and know that there was nothing she could do to change it. Xander hadn't opened his heart to her, not fully. He held so much back that it almost drove her to rage sometimes.
The more time she spent with Xander, the more Cordelia was learning to read him. Or, more precisely, to read when he was exerting control over himself. A brief flash of tension that was gone in the blink of an eye. And Xander was getting better at it everyday. It was a secret little war going on between them. She would see excitement in his eyes for a moment, before it was pushed down and his usual mask for amusement. Cordelia used the same a similar method when she was at school or other social occasions. Never let anyone know what you're really thinking. Cordelia knew she was but a rank amateur at hiding what was going through her mind, in comparison to Xander. She was practically a hysterical drama queen when put beside her boyfriend's ability to hide what he was feeling.
Watching Xander greet Willow and Buffy, Cordelia felt a jolt of insecurity stab through her. She quickly snuffed it out and buried it underneath a façade of cool disinterest, never letting the kids around her know how much she wanted to be at that table, rather then here with them.
.___.___.
Buffy was having a good time.
Part of her was almost sad about it. She knew it probably be one of the last time she would actually let herself enjoy an evening out with her new friends. Once Giles and her mother got her slaying schedule worked out, a night out with friends would be a rare thing.
Buffy pushed the blue thoughts out of her mind and focused on the now. One of the things being a Slayer had taught her was not to take little moments of happiness for granted. In a world filled with death and loss, moments of happiness were worth more then just about anything.
Instead, the Slayer smiled as Willow once again gushed about Tara.
At first she was a little unsure how to take the two girls. The open- mouthed kiss the couple had shared the moment they were within reach of each other had, admittedly, freaked her out a bit. Then for a bit longer, as the kiss lasted for almost a minute. The two girls had the good grace match Buffy's blush after it was over. "Um.we haven't seen each other all week," was Willow's weak response.
"Oh," was all Buffy could manage, still getting over the shock of watching the exchange.
"Band had a gig in LA," Tara put in, giving an unapologetic smile to the Slayer, before giving her girlfriend one last kiss.
"Oh," Buffy repeated.
Willow gave her new friend an amused and worried look. "This is weirding you out, isn't?"
"No." Buffy was silent for a second as her brain caught up with her. "No! I mean.yeah.this is the first time I've actually gotten a good look.a REALLY good look at two girls kissing, but.well.whatever." With a shrug of her shoulders, Buffy gave the couple a rather smug grin. "I AM from LA, you know. You two would hardly rate a prolonged look there."
Willow couldn't help but laugh while Tara just smiled. "I guess that means we need more practice before we take the show on the road, huh?" the red head asked her girlfriend, looking put out.
"Practice makes perfect," Tara acknowledge with more then a hint of the devil in her smile.
"Yeah, yeah," Buffy said, waving her hands toward Tara's van. "Speaking of taking on the road, Willow mentioned that your band was playing at this club tonight. Which I would assume means you need to get there early and.tune up and sound out or something."
As the trio entered the purple painted van, Tara gave the Slayer a bit of a smirk. "I think once you hear us play, you'll realize that tuning up isn't really going to help much."
Willow shushed her girlfriend as she grabbed shotgun, while Buffy took a seat in the back beside an amp. "Don't believe a word, Buffy. The Dingoes are amazing." Turning to Tara, Willow smiled sweetly. "Their lead guitarist kicks ass."
Starting the van, Tara looked at Buffy briefly in the rearview mirror before focusing back on the road. "You do realize he's over you, right?"
"Oh he so is not!" Willow exclaimed at her girlfriend. "Last week when I was watching you guys practice, he didn't take his eyes off me the whole time."
"Maybe it had something to do with the cleavage that was pouring out of your sweater?" Tara put forward with a faux innocence.
Willow smirked. "Didn't hear you complaining at the time."
Tara smirked back. "No. You didn't."
Buffy watched the exchange with a slightly bemused look on her face. While she had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, the fact that they were so.open in front of her was very comforting and more then a bit disconcerting. She was just beginning to think they'd forgotten she was with them when Willow announced that Xander was going to be at the Bronze tonight and turned to give the Slayer a smirk to call her own.
Tara gave a low whistle. "Should be an interesting night."
"Why?" Buffy asked, which earned her an amused laugh from Willow and widening of the eyes in the rearview mirror from Tara.
"Have you met Xander yet?" Tara asked, her eyes back on the road.
"Yeah." Buffy answered dismissive. "He was a complete jerk." The Slayer cast a look to Willow and saw the redhead looking at her with a hint of embarrassment and sadness.
"Xander's not usually like that," Willow said quietly. "He just has a lot on his mind recently." At Buffy's snort, Willow clenched her jaw for a moment, pushing down the urge to violently defend her best friend to her newest friend. "His parents died 10 years ago this coming Sunday."
As soon as Willow recognized the less then friendly tone in her voice she looked at Buffy's face. The blond girls' face seemed to be in a dispute as to whether go red with embarrassment or white in horror. The result was a splotchy blush and a sickly pallor.
"Oh my god," Buffy whispered more to herself then to either Willow or Tara. "I didn't know."
Willow was already feeling guilty about virtually snapping at Buffy. "Hey! It's alright." Buffy, who looked almost ill, glanced up at the redhead. "Well, I mean.uh."
"Xander won't hold it against you." Both girls looked over at the blond girl behind the wheel. Tara kept her eyes on the road. "I don't know Xander nearly as well as Willow does, but I know he won't hold any.bad first impressions against you."
"He won't!" Willow exclaimed. "I mean, I think other then Alfred and me, no one else even knows."
"Cordelia might," Tara put in, giving her girlfriend a sideways look.
Willow appeared almost to scoff at that, before almost wilting slightly. "Maybe."
"He must think I'm horrible." Buffy said, still only paying half an ear to the two other girls. She felt so.stupid. And embarrassed. She knows how she is around the time of year that Pike died. Giles, Dawn and her mother always give her space. The last thing she would want is some person she never met planting himself in front of her and then chewing her out because she wasn't as entertaining as he had been led to believe. And as deep as her feelings of loss went for losing Pike, she realized that it would be pale in comparison to losing her entire family. She had more nightmares of her mother and Dawn being killed in front of her then she could count. But Xander Harris had actually been there when both his parents had been murdered. A helpless child.
Buffy didn't know whether she wanted to slam her head into the side of the van or just cry. She knew that neither would make her feel better. "I'm like.the worst person ever, aren't I?"
"Hardly." Willow seemed reassured that HER first impression of Buffy wasn't wrong. She was a good person..just maybe a little clueless. "First off, you didn't know. Secondly.." Willow quickly ran out of steam as she wasn't really up on the details of what happened that afternoon. "Uh.he said you had a pretty face!"
"What!!" Both Buffy and Tara shouted, the van veering for a second before the driver got a hold of herself.
Now it was Willow's turn to blush. "Uh.he liked you?"
"He said I was pretty?" Buffy asked, slightly stunned.
"She said he was pretty?" Tara asked at the same time, a smile growing on her face.
"Um.yeah." Willow sighed. 'Note to self: Look into tongue removal surgery'. She cast a look at her girlfriend. 'Um.Note to self: Scratch tongue removal. Let's keep the tongue.' Tucking a stray strand of red hair behind her ear, Willow gave Buffy a smile. "Yes, he said you were pretty. Very pretty actually."
"But he has a girlfriend, right?" Buffy asked, both confused and slightly giddy. "Cordelia."
"You met Cordelia?" Willow asked, intrigued at how Queen C had come off to her new friend.
Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes. "That would mean we actually exchanged words. She walked up to Xander at lunch talked to him, insulted me and then stuck her tongue in his mouth." With a slump of her shoulders, the Slayer leaned back against an amp but couldn't hide the embarrassment and hurt she felt at being so soundly snubbed. "I have a feeling that we're not going to be pals."
While the knowledge that making friends was going to be difficult and slow, Buffy had been encouraged by the fast connection she had with Willow. Her less then stunning lunch with Xander Harris and then being given the cold shoulder by Cordelia Chase, the most popular girl in school, had been a major wet blanket over that success. Add in the Giles plan of her patrolling Gotham City as well as Sunnydale and Buffy was one marching band away from a self-pity parade.
A warm hand on her arm brought Buffy's gaze from her shoes. "It's Cordelia's loss then." Willow gave her smile so sincere that she wanted to cry.
Before she could come up with a protest or shrug off the attention, a "Damn skippy!" was voiced loudly from the drivers' seat. Looking up Buffy saw Tara's smiling eyes focused on her before they gave her a friendly wink and focused back on the road.
"Thanks," was the only thing Buffy could say, hoping she was conveying how much the two girls support meant to her right then.
The van settled into a more then slightly awkward silence as it traveled down the streets. Buffy was starting to feel guilty about dampening the happy vibe when Willow looked over at Tara with a mixture of surprised and disbelief. "'Damn skippy?'? the redhead asked. "When the hell did you start saying that?"
Tara smirked but kept her eyes on the road. "That's cool band member lingo. Untalented people such as yourself aren't in the know." The blonde singer's eyes glanced at Buffy and winked again. "Buffy got it."
Willow squeaked in protest. "Untalented, am I? You weren't saying that when I was."
Buffy felt herself relax and enjoyed the back and forth between the couple, no longer uncomfortable with any aspect of the girls relationship or insecure about how the night would proceed.
The rest of the ride to the Bronze was filled with flirting between Tara and Willow, and more then a little good-natured teasing about Buffy's new girl status. When the trio finally reached the club, Tara gave Willow a kiss on the cheek and went off to find her band backstage. Willow and Buffy quickly found a table at the edge of the dance floor and watched as the place quickly filled up with teenagers.
The two made mindless small talk mainly consisting of Willow pointing out people and giving a profile on them. "Jonathan. He's sweet and really smart, but really shy. Picked on a lot. Has a disturbing obsession with Cordelia..Harmony. Cordy's bitch. Airhead extraordinary.Percy. Jock. Has the potential to be a nice guy but can't shake off the peer pressure.Larry Another jock. Great guy. Only out of the closet gay guy in school. A few are in the closet, but my lips are sealed."
In the space of an hour Buffy was given a crash course on the personalities of the most prominent students as Sunnydale High. When Cordelia Chase entered the Bronze, she saw Willow's right eye twitch once. "And of course you've already met Cordelia."
"Yeah," Buffy answered faintly, noting how the brunette girl strolled leisurely through the club and the fact that every head had turned to watch her entrance, even Willow's and hers. "Wait a second!" she said, turning to face her friend. "You don't like her."
"No." Willow takes a sip of her drink. "I don't."
Buffy looks back at Cordelia, who is now surrounded by friends and well wishers. "But.you're Xander's best friend. She's his girlfriend." Looking back at Willow, Buffy gave her an inquiring look. "How does Xander choose between you?"
Willow's eyes hardened over her drink. "He copes. He's good at that."
Buffy was fast enough to realize that there were serious unresolved issues between her new friend, Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase, and promptly dropped that topic. Willow seemed to sense her discomfort and did her best to distract her with bits of gossip and insider info about the student body. Buffy did just followed along and tried to file as much information as she could in her mind for future reference.
The conversation between the two continued to be light and carefree until the Tara and the band took the stage. Buffy had the feeling that Willow had wanted to ask her something but couldn't find the worlds, and compensated with more random Intel on the student body.
Buffy was actually thankful when the band started to play. She was verging on information overload from Willow, but as soon as Tara was in the spotlight the focus of both girls was on the stage. With no introduction, Tara began strumming the electric guitar in an almost teasing melody before the rest of the band started with a bang behind her.
Having been to enough clubs and seen enough rock bands while hanging with the ultimate indie rock fan that was Pike, Buffy had a good ear when it came to live music. The Dingoes weren't the worst band she'd ever heard, but they were far from the best. Tara's vocals were top notch, of that Buffy was sure. And the guitar work, between Tara's rhythm and the boy on lead, was pretty good too. The weak points were the drums and bass. The bassist, while not horrid, was completely uninspired and mechanical. The drumming was just bad. Too fast at one point and then too slow. The Slayer did her best to focus on Tara's voice and the guitars.
Apparently Buffy's discriminating ear was in the minority, as the dance floor was filled beyond capacity with dancing teenagers. Buffy watched the scene with more then a touch of envy. She loved to dance and rarely got to do it. The clubs she'd frequented in LA were part of her patrol and she was always focused on finding vampires instead of dance partners.
Willow, on the other hand, only had eyes for Tara. Buffy watched with amusement as the couple locked eyes over the dance floor. Tara seemed to be only singing to Willow, and the redhead was totally focused on her girlfriend. So much heat and emotion was passing over the heads of those on the dance floor that Buffy felt herself being pulled into it.
So caught up in watching Willow, Buffy didn't notice Xander Harris until he was standing beside her. She automatically looked up and locked eyes with the boy and felt her heart jump when he smiled at her. "Hi," she said breathlessly
Cordelia Chase was perched on a stool, surrounded by her friends, feeling remarkably alone.
She felt that way a lot.
She was beyond popular. Beautiful in just about every way the word could be used. Her peers climbed over themselves to be around her. Her opinion could make or break just about any fad that passed her sight. She could destroy the social life of anyone with but a word and a look. She was the undisputed Queen of Sunnydale. Her hangers-on were legion.
Yet holding court at the Bronze, mobbed by dozens of her classmates for just a moment of her attention, she felt alone. 'Maybe you should tell them,' part of her mind said. 'How many of them do you think would get it? Would care?'
Her laugh caused just about everyone else to laugh as well, though they didn't have a clue as to what they were laughing at. 'They're sheep. You could go to school tomorrow wearing a potato sack and by the next day, all of them would be shopping for burlap.'
Sighing to herself, her eyes wandered around the crowded club, searching for something to distract her from Harmony's ramblings of her latest 'conquest'. The dance floor was packed with teenagers, all moving to the throbbing beats of hard techno that blasted out of the speakers. Strobe lights and lasers flashed on expensive silks and even more expensive tans. High fashion and toned flesh clashed under the flashing lights of the club, like some high-tech mating dance.
Which of course it was. Who was sleeping with who was the second most popular topic of discussion at Sunnydale High, right behind who was dumping who. Anyone who kept up with the social dynamics of the micro-universe that was Sunnydale High quickly realized just how twisted it was. Each circle dated within itself, often recycling relationships when two people had worked their way through everyone else. No one really associated outside of their level. Those who tried usually found themselves completely cut off from every level.
There were of course, exceptions to every rule, and so Cordelia found herself looking at one.
Willow Rosenburg should, by all rights, have been in the upper levels. In fact, on face value alone, she should have been one of Cordelia's group. Her family had the right money and history. She was more then pretty enough. And, Cordy suspected, that if she wished it, Willow could be just as cold and deceitful as the best of them. But Willow was an outsider. She didn't care about the way people thought of her. She was proud, not of her physical appearance, but her brains. The money her parents gave her was spent on computers and books, not on clothes and make up. Willow was one of those rare few people in school who could, when she wanted to, mix with any circle. She was smart enough to meet the geeks on their home turf, but savvy enough to bump heads with the elite. She was, generally, liked by just about everyone.
Part of Cordelia hated her for that.
People actually liked Willow. Even though she broke or ignored every rule that had ever existed in what it took to be popular. She was a geek and proud of it. She was bisexual, and open about it. She was, when it came down to it, a rebel. More importantly, she was happy.
Another part of Cordelia envied that.
Cordelia was feared. Respected. Not liked. At least, not by many. Her spot at the top of the heap was created out of the social corpses of many rivals. She'd fought hard for her role as the Queen. It was what made her important. It gave her an identity beyond just another pretty face and she held on to it like it was her first born child. She would destroy anyone who threatened her position and she made sure everyone knew it. She had to. A moment of weakness and it would all be ripped away from her by the competition that now surrounded her.
A moment of weakness.
She was having one right now, as she watched Xander Harris enter the Bronze.
Her breath caught and her heart raced. The grip on her glass tightened involuntarily.
The effect this boy had on her sometimes scared her. For a girl who prided herself on maintaining control of herself in every situation, the fact that Xander's smile could make her weak in the knees was distressing on a few levels. True, she did her best to hide his effect had on her, especially to him. He intimidated her in a way that no one else could. It wasn't his money, yeah he was super-rich, but after awhile, wealth becomes an abstract. And it wasn't just physical, though there was plenty of that. Sunnydale, Gotham City and California in general had plenty of drop-dead gorgeous guys to swoon over.
No. The things that Cordelia loved about Xander weren't things you could catch. His intelligence stunned her. For all of Willow's book smarts, she couldn't hold a candle to the perception and insight that Xander had. She'd seen him look at someone for less then a minute, and know move about them then if someone else had spoken with them for hours. His charm made her smile like a girl half her age, sometimes.
Cordelia admitted to herself that she didn't understand more then a small percentage of her boyfriend. The grief he held about his parents' death confused her. While everyone she knew went to therapists to get over even the smallest issue, Xander sometimes seemed to hold on to his loss with a white-knuckled grip. And it wasn't for attention, which she knew Xander shunned as much as she embraced it. He almost never mentioned his parents, to her or anyone else. The one conversation they'd had about it, was.painful. For her probably, more then him. Cordelia so wanted to know more about the boy she was involved with. She sometimes felt like a complete fool for being so happy that he shared anything with her at all.
And he did. Xander had shared things with her, private things, that she knew, that she believed that nobody else knew. Even the much loved Willow. Oh, she knew as well that Willow knew things about Xander that she would never know. That pained her, but she took more then a little bit of vicious comfort in the knowledge that Willow probably didn't know Xander nearly as well as the redhead would like to.
Neither of them did.
It was probably the one thing they really had in common.
Xander could have been a bridge for Willow and Cordelia to form a friendship on. Secretly, Cordy would have welcomed it. There were precious few people that the Queen of Sunnydale could enjoy a conversation with. That she could connect with on anything other then a superficial level. Cordelia knew that Willow was one of those people. Cordelia also knew that instead of being a bridge, Xander had become a wall.
Willow had never liked her, but since she'd started dating Xander, the redhead's animosity for the brunette girl had become borderline vicious. And Cordy responded in kind, most times even worse then she would have.
There was jealousy there, between the two of them. Willow resented Cordelia's physical relationship with Xander. Yes, Willow had a girlfriend, but her longing for her best friend had hardly been a secret. Cordelia resented that Willow had been a part of Xander's life since the beginning. That there were things that she could never touch, but Willow could.
Taking a small sip from her drink, Cordelia forced the thoughts away and simply enjoyed watching Xander. She'd never known anyone more comfortable with their body. He moved with purpose and confidence, in every situation. People always moved out of his way, even if they didn't know it. Watching him now, he moved like a knife in butter, though the crowded club.
. He slipped through crowds so quickly that the people didn't even see him, just a brief flash of deep black. Cordelia noticed, not for the first time, how her boyfriend could hide in plain sight of people. One of the most famous faces in the world, let alone this crummy town, and he could walk through it without catching a glance, if he didn't want to draw attention to himself.
'His fashion sense helps,' the brunette girl mused as she observed Xander's black pants, shirt and sports coat. Xander's habitual need to drape himself in dark clothing, and plant himself in the shadiest part of a room aided his need to stand apart from everyone else. Cordelia thought back to the afternoon and the 20 minutes she spent looking for her boyfriend in the courtyard at school. She mentally smacked herself when she finally saw him, sitting in plain sight, under the shade of tree.
Cordelia watched as Xander made his way over to the table where Willow was sitting with the new girl, Buffy.
The girl that had been having lunch with HER boyfriend.
Her eyes narrowed as she inspected the girl. 'Blond hair, obviously dyed,' Cordelia noted. Make up tastefully done, complimentary without nearing over done. Clothes were fashionable, but not exactly setting off dollar signs. They flattered the new girl, but were much more practical then most of the other fashion plates filling the club. 'Nice boots,' Cordelia admitted to herself. All in all, the new girl wouldn't have been much of a blip on her radar. Hardly worth notice as competition, perhaps marked as a possible if the girl ever got the idea and the money to make a run for Cordy's crown. In fact, Cordelia wouldn't have even given Buffy a second look at all, if she hadn't caught the blond having lunch with Xander.
Cordelia knew that Xander didn't have a superficial bone in his body. He judged people on a much different level then how they dressed or looked. But.well Buffy was obviously attractive. Very attractive. Cordelia could admit this to herself, but would rather have her tongue cut out then tell anyone else. And while Xander may be oblivious to the extreme hotness of his new friend, Cordelia was not.
While everyone at school may have thought that Sunnydale's Power Couple were as secure as a blue chip stock, Cordelia felt.actually knew inside her heart, that it was anything but. And while she thought and believed that she was in love with Xander Harris, a large part of her knew he wasn't with her. Oh, she knew that he cared for her. Probably more then he thought he would. She would catch brief glimpses of it, along with surprise, from Xander. But love her? She didn't think so. At least, not the way she wanted him to. And it hurt her to know that, and know that there was nothing she could do to change it. Xander hadn't opened his heart to her, not fully. He held so much back that it almost drove her to rage sometimes.
The more time she spent with Xander, the more Cordelia was learning to read him. Or, more precisely, to read when he was exerting control over himself. A brief flash of tension that was gone in the blink of an eye. And Xander was getting better at it everyday. It was a secret little war going on between them. She would see excitement in his eyes for a moment, before it was pushed down and his usual mask for amusement. Cordelia used the same a similar method when she was at school or other social occasions. Never let anyone know what you're really thinking. Cordelia knew she was but a rank amateur at hiding what was going through her mind, in comparison to Xander. She was practically a hysterical drama queen when put beside her boyfriend's ability to hide what he was feeling.
Watching Xander greet Willow and Buffy, Cordelia felt a jolt of insecurity stab through her. She quickly snuffed it out and buried it underneath a façade of cool disinterest, never letting the kids around her know how much she wanted to be at that table, rather then here with them.
.___.___.
Buffy was having a good time.
Part of her was almost sad about it. She knew it probably be one of the last time she would actually let herself enjoy an evening out with her new friends. Once Giles and her mother got her slaying schedule worked out, a night out with friends would be a rare thing.
Buffy pushed the blue thoughts out of her mind and focused on the now. One of the things being a Slayer had taught her was not to take little moments of happiness for granted. In a world filled with death and loss, moments of happiness were worth more then just about anything.
Instead, the Slayer smiled as Willow once again gushed about Tara.
At first she was a little unsure how to take the two girls. The open- mouthed kiss the couple had shared the moment they were within reach of each other had, admittedly, freaked her out a bit. Then for a bit longer, as the kiss lasted for almost a minute. The two girls had the good grace match Buffy's blush after it was over. "Um.we haven't seen each other all week," was Willow's weak response.
"Oh," was all Buffy could manage, still getting over the shock of watching the exchange.
"Band had a gig in LA," Tara put in, giving an unapologetic smile to the Slayer, before giving her girlfriend one last kiss.
"Oh," Buffy repeated.
Willow gave her new friend an amused and worried look. "This is weirding you out, isn't?"
"No." Buffy was silent for a second as her brain caught up with her. "No! I mean.yeah.this is the first time I've actually gotten a good look.a REALLY good look at two girls kissing, but.well.whatever." With a shrug of her shoulders, Buffy gave the couple a rather smug grin. "I AM from LA, you know. You two would hardly rate a prolonged look there."
Willow couldn't help but laugh while Tara just smiled. "I guess that means we need more practice before we take the show on the road, huh?" the red head asked her girlfriend, looking put out.
"Practice makes perfect," Tara acknowledge with more then a hint of the devil in her smile.
"Yeah, yeah," Buffy said, waving her hands toward Tara's van. "Speaking of taking on the road, Willow mentioned that your band was playing at this club tonight. Which I would assume means you need to get there early and.tune up and sound out or something."
As the trio entered the purple painted van, Tara gave the Slayer a bit of a smirk. "I think once you hear us play, you'll realize that tuning up isn't really going to help much."
Willow shushed her girlfriend as she grabbed shotgun, while Buffy took a seat in the back beside an amp. "Don't believe a word, Buffy. The Dingoes are amazing." Turning to Tara, Willow smiled sweetly. "Their lead guitarist kicks ass."
Starting the van, Tara looked at Buffy briefly in the rearview mirror before focusing back on the road. "You do realize he's over you, right?"
"Oh he so is not!" Willow exclaimed at her girlfriend. "Last week when I was watching you guys practice, he didn't take his eyes off me the whole time."
"Maybe it had something to do with the cleavage that was pouring out of your sweater?" Tara put forward with a faux innocence.
Willow smirked. "Didn't hear you complaining at the time."
Tara smirked back. "No. You didn't."
Buffy watched the exchange with a slightly bemused look on her face. While she had absolutely no idea what they were talking about, the fact that they were so.open in front of her was very comforting and more then a bit disconcerting. She was just beginning to think they'd forgotten she was with them when Willow announced that Xander was going to be at the Bronze tonight and turned to give the Slayer a smirk to call her own.
Tara gave a low whistle. "Should be an interesting night."
"Why?" Buffy asked, which earned her an amused laugh from Willow and widening of the eyes in the rearview mirror from Tara.
"Have you met Xander yet?" Tara asked, her eyes back on the road.
"Yeah." Buffy answered dismissive. "He was a complete jerk." The Slayer cast a look to Willow and saw the redhead looking at her with a hint of embarrassment and sadness.
"Xander's not usually like that," Willow said quietly. "He just has a lot on his mind recently." At Buffy's snort, Willow clenched her jaw for a moment, pushing down the urge to violently defend her best friend to her newest friend. "His parents died 10 years ago this coming Sunday."
As soon as Willow recognized the less then friendly tone in her voice she looked at Buffy's face. The blond girls' face seemed to be in a dispute as to whether go red with embarrassment or white in horror. The result was a splotchy blush and a sickly pallor.
"Oh my god," Buffy whispered more to herself then to either Willow or Tara. "I didn't know."
Willow was already feeling guilty about virtually snapping at Buffy. "Hey! It's alright." Buffy, who looked almost ill, glanced up at the redhead. "Well, I mean.uh."
"Xander won't hold it against you." Both girls looked over at the blond girl behind the wheel. Tara kept her eyes on the road. "I don't know Xander nearly as well as Willow does, but I know he won't hold any.bad first impressions against you."
"He won't!" Willow exclaimed. "I mean, I think other then Alfred and me, no one else even knows."
"Cordelia might," Tara put in, giving her girlfriend a sideways look.
Willow appeared almost to scoff at that, before almost wilting slightly. "Maybe."
"He must think I'm horrible." Buffy said, still only paying half an ear to the two other girls. She felt so.stupid. And embarrassed. She knows how she is around the time of year that Pike died. Giles, Dawn and her mother always give her space. The last thing she would want is some person she never met planting himself in front of her and then chewing her out because she wasn't as entertaining as he had been led to believe. And as deep as her feelings of loss went for losing Pike, she realized that it would be pale in comparison to losing her entire family. She had more nightmares of her mother and Dawn being killed in front of her then she could count. But Xander Harris had actually been there when both his parents had been murdered. A helpless child.
Buffy didn't know whether she wanted to slam her head into the side of the van or just cry. She knew that neither would make her feel better. "I'm like.the worst person ever, aren't I?"
"Hardly." Willow seemed reassured that HER first impression of Buffy wasn't wrong. She was a good person..just maybe a little clueless. "First off, you didn't know. Secondly.." Willow quickly ran out of steam as she wasn't really up on the details of what happened that afternoon. "Uh.he said you had a pretty face!"
"What!!" Both Buffy and Tara shouted, the van veering for a second before the driver got a hold of herself.
Now it was Willow's turn to blush. "Uh.he liked you?"
"He said I was pretty?" Buffy asked, slightly stunned.
"She said he was pretty?" Tara asked at the same time, a smile growing on her face.
"Um.yeah." Willow sighed. 'Note to self: Look into tongue removal surgery'. She cast a look at her girlfriend. 'Um.Note to self: Scratch tongue removal. Let's keep the tongue.' Tucking a stray strand of red hair behind her ear, Willow gave Buffy a smile. "Yes, he said you were pretty. Very pretty actually."
"But he has a girlfriend, right?" Buffy asked, both confused and slightly giddy. "Cordelia."
"You met Cordelia?" Willow asked, intrigued at how Queen C had come off to her new friend.
Buffy snorted and rolled her eyes. "That would mean we actually exchanged words. She walked up to Xander at lunch talked to him, insulted me and then stuck her tongue in his mouth." With a slump of her shoulders, the Slayer leaned back against an amp but couldn't hide the embarrassment and hurt she felt at being so soundly snubbed. "I have a feeling that we're not going to be pals."
While the knowledge that making friends was going to be difficult and slow, Buffy had been encouraged by the fast connection she had with Willow. Her less then stunning lunch with Xander Harris and then being given the cold shoulder by Cordelia Chase, the most popular girl in school, had been a major wet blanket over that success. Add in the Giles plan of her patrolling Gotham City as well as Sunnydale and Buffy was one marching band away from a self-pity parade.
A warm hand on her arm brought Buffy's gaze from her shoes. "It's Cordelia's loss then." Willow gave her smile so sincere that she wanted to cry.
Before she could come up with a protest or shrug off the attention, a "Damn skippy!" was voiced loudly from the drivers' seat. Looking up Buffy saw Tara's smiling eyes focused on her before they gave her a friendly wink and focused back on the road.
"Thanks," was the only thing Buffy could say, hoping she was conveying how much the two girls support meant to her right then.
The van settled into a more then slightly awkward silence as it traveled down the streets. Buffy was starting to feel guilty about dampening the happy vibe when Willow looked over at Tara with a mixture of surprised and disbelief. "'Damn skippy?'? the redhead asked. "When the hell did you start saying that?"
Tara smirked but kept her eyes on the road. "That's cool band member lingo. Untalented people such as yourself aren't in the know." The blonde singer's eyes glanced at Buffy and winked again. "Buffy got it."
Willow squeaked in protest. "Untalented, am I? You weren't saying that when I was."
Buffy felt herself relax and enjoyed the back and forth between the couple, no longer uncomfortable with any aspect of the girls relationship or insecure about how the night would proceed.
The rest of the ride to the Bronze was filled with flirting between Tara and Willow, and more then a little good-natured teasing about Buffy's new girl status. When the trio finally reached the club, Tara gave Willow a kiss on the cheek and went off to find her band backstage. Willow and Buffy quickly found a table at the edge of the dance floor and watched as the place quickly filled up with teenagers.
The two made mindless small talk mainly consisting of Willow pointing out people and giving a profile on them. "Jonathan. He's sweet and really smart, but really shy. Picked on a lot. Has a disturbing obsession with Cordelia..Harmony. Cordy's bitch. Airhead extraordinary.Percy. Jock. Has the potential to be a nice guy but can't shake off the peer pressure.Larry Another jock. Great guy. Only out of the closet gay guy in school. A few are in the closet, but my lips are sealed."
In the space of an hour Buffy was given a crash course on the personalities of the most prominent students as Sunnydale High. When Cordelia Chase entered the Bronze, she saw Willow's right eye twitch once. "And of course you've already met Cordelia."
"Yeah," Buffy answered faintly, noting how the brunette girl strolled leisurely through the club and the fact that every head had turned to watch her entrance, even Willow's and hers. "Wait a second!" she said, turning to face her friend. "You don't like her."
"No." Willow takes a sip of her drink. "I don't."
Buffy looks back at Cordelia, who is now surrounded by friends and well wishers. "But.you're Xander's best friend. She's his girlfriend." Looking back at Willow, Buffy gave her an inquiring look. "How does Xander choose between you?"
Willow's eyes hardened over her drink. "He copes. He's good at that."
Buffy was fast enough to realize that there were serious unresolved issues between her new friend, Xander Harris and Cordelia Chase, and promptly dropped that topic. Willow seemed to sense her discomfort and did her best to distract her with bits of gossip and insider info about the student body. Buffy did just followed along and tried to file as much information as she could in her mind for future reference.
The conversation between the two continued to be light and carefree until the Tara and the band took the stage. Buffy had the feeling that Willow had wanted to ask her something but couldn't find the worlds, and compensated with more random Intel on the student body.
Buffy was actually thankful when the band started to play. She was verging on information overload from Willow, but as soon as Tara was in the spotlight the focus of both girls was on the stage. With no introduction, Tara began strumming the electric guitar in an almost teasing melody before the rest of the band started with a bang behind her.
Having been to enough clubs and seen enough rock bands while hanging with the ultimate indie rock fan that was Pike, Buffy had a good ear when it came to live music. The Dingoes weren't the worst band she'd ever heard, but they were far from the best. Tara's vocals were top notch, of that Buffy was sure. And the guitar work, between Tara's rhythm and the boy on lead, was pretty good too. The weak points were the drums and bass. The bassist, while not horrid, was completely uninspired and mechanical. The drumming was just bad. Too fast at one point and then too slow. The Slayer did her best to focus on Tara's voice and the guitars.
Apparently Buffy's discriminating ear was in the minority, as the dance floor was filled beyond capacity with dancing teenagers. Buffy watched the scene with more then a touch of envy. She loved to dance and rarely got to do it. The clubs she'd frequented in LA were part of her patrol and she was always focused on finding vampires instead of dance partners.
Willow, on the other hand, only had eyes for Tara. Buffy watched with amusement as the couple locked eyes over the dance floor. Tara seemed to be only singing to Willow, and the redhead was totally focused on her girlfriend. So much heat and emotion was passing over the heads of those on the dance floor that Buffy felt herself being pulled into it.
So caught up in watching Willow, Buffy didn't notice Xander Harris until he was standing beside her. She automatically looked up and locked eyes with the boy and felt her heart jump when he smiled at her. "Hi," she said breathlessly