Chapter XIV - Closer
@---;-----------;----@
Spike had left the Magic Box at soon as the sun set, heading back to his crypt.
Improvising a shower, he got dressed, feeling more like himself. The cold water (from the underground mains pipe that ran close to the crypt) snapped him out of the numb contemplation that he was so bored with. So now, instead of thinking about things he did things. Things like heading over to the Magic Box to see Xander.
~~~~~
"Hey Spike."
Buffy anticipated his question before he had time to decide how to phrase it.
"Xander's not here."
One of Spikes eye brows quirked up in question, weather it was 'How did you know I'd ask?' or 'Where is he?' the Slayer didn't know. She chose the answer the former.
"erm, Hospital. They wanted to keep him in over night."
Spike nodded, confused, and turned to open the door. Buffy didn't bother to remind him that visiting hours were over and just smiled trying not to be to disturbed by the situation. Xander and Spike had been best friends for all intents and purposes before. . . so now they would just be. . . . Closer. Buffys' mind refused to delve in to possible details choosing instead to concentrate on not thinking about other things. Like the fact that Angel just disappeared without a goodbye. Again!
~~~~~~
There was a knock at the door just as Xander finished getting changed. He figured it was just one of the nurses .
"Come in."
Turning around he did a double take. Then blinked. // Spike //
"If you're here to drop off flowers, you're a little late. I was just leaving."
Xander had decided to go against the doctors' advice and leave the hospital. There was nothing wrong with him. Well he was sore and his ankle was sprained but he could lie in bed and do nothing anywhere. And he preferred to do it in a place where people didn't force you to wear things that gave an unobscured view of his ass to the world.
"Need a lift?"
Xanders' eyes lit up for a moment with indignation. Then he remembered the long hours he'd spent thinking. Right. //The sooner you get going.// he heard the nudging of an annoying voice in his head.
".I'm sorry."
Hmm. //all right, what did I miss?//
"For what, pet?"
Oh great. Now he was gonna make him say it.
Xander had rearranged the events of that night in to an order that placed all the 'blame' one him. Spike realized this as the boy stumbled through an explanation.
"I didn't mean, um, you know. to get so worked up before. It's just that. well I know that you'd never want anything to do with me, let alone. that.way, under normal circumstances. But that kiss, well.. it may have meant something to me. I know, how pathetic am I? But it just felt good, you know, for a moment, to feel like someone. like *you* wanted me."
By the time he finished, Xander was looking at the floor, visibly trying not to cry. The last part was almost a whisper. Spike blinked. Oh god, did he think he didn't want him?!
//you did tell him as much last night. . .//
Spike took a step towards Xander and placing a hand on the side of the boys face he tilted it up.
"Xander, look at me."
Finally their eyes met. Spike winced at the defeated look he received. Xander was probably just waiting for Spike to play with him some more. He dropped his hand.
"Pet, even if I never get to kiss you again, I'll never forget. It, you mean too much to me for that."
Xanders' world had become perfectly clear for the duration of Spikes confession. Not the 'I know all the secrets of the universe' kind of clear, but for once he understood how he felt. It was heard to ignore the feeling in his chest when Spike said that he meant something to him. Now he was trying to decide weather the vampire // *vampire* , Xander! // was being sincere.
"Spike, please. if you don't really mean that, just tell me. You know, my heart has been ripped out of my chest and handed back to me on a plate a few times too many, I don't know if you want it. . ."
Xander tried to say that with the lighthearted humor that was his trademark, but it was all too transparent not hiding any of the pain or emotion like it was meant to.
"I would never hurt you precious. You have no idea how special you are."
On any other day that may have sounded strange, especially coming from a 144 year old master vampire, but then, this was Spike whispering the words to Xander as he pulled him in to his arms.
// Safe now. Stay // Xander wasn't very clear on weather he had said that out loud.
"Forever, pet.'"
Nothing more was said after that. Spike just looked at Xander for a minute after he stepped out of the embrace, saw the boy blush and smiled at him. Neither of them could think at the moment, but they could feel, and that was enough for now.
Picking up some of Xanders' stuff that Buffy had dropped off for him earlier Spike made his way to the car, getting stopped by the nurse who wanted to inform him that visiting hours were over, when he headed back to the collect Xander. He stayed behind to sign some wavers. He smiled at the nurse instead of following his original impulse to vamp out and make the pathetic human run in terror. He told her he'd just be a minute, and the he saw Xander at the end of the hall. Ignoring further protest she might have made he walked over to him.
"ready to go, pet?"
//pet! I'm still his pet, even though we're back!//
Xander tried to hide the giddy smile on his face. "yeah."
~~~~
Nurse Wilson crossed her arms and watched the two walk down the corridor, the blonde mans arm wrapped around the patient from room 312, supporting him as he struggled to walk on his sprained ankle. //glad I could help.// the thought was so strange she didn't bother to dwell on it, returning to her nightshift duties instead.
~~~~~
Xander and Spike reached their basement home and stumbled down the stairs, immediately falling in to bed. They lay there with their legs hanging over the edge for some time, just getting to grips with the new rules.
"sleep?"
Spiked finally asked decided that his brain would maybe decided to function after some rest and knowing that Xander was exhausted.
Xander turned his head to look at Spike lying next to him and nodded trying to get up, and failing miserably. Falling back on to the bed he laughed at him self as did Spike watching his pathetic efforts.
"'m too tired to go to sleep."
Spike just shook his head, and rolled to his feet stumbling only a little. Xander didn't move. A hand reached out, pale, smooth skin, chipped black lacquer. Spike. Pulling the Slayerette to his feet he stepped back from the bed giving Xander room to stand up. All the blood suddenly rushed to Xanders' head and he fell against Spike. Placing a hand on the vampires' shoulder he regained his footing.
"blame the morphine. . ."
He mumbled taking a step back.
"yeah, they all say that. . ."
Spike said with a smirk, and pulled Xander against him again. He ran him hands over the boys back, down his sides, as if making sure he was really there. It was frenzied in slow motion. Xander stood there a little shell shocked, not sure what he was supposed to do. He wanted to do something. Improvising he paced his hand on Spikes chest stopping any further movement on the part on the vampire, and leaned forward kissing him.
Well. . . it wasn't a kiss. Their lips just met for a moment chastely and then parted again.
That's all.
Spike stood two inches away from Xander just looking at the boy fidget. // wow. // nothing more coherent sprang to mind. He hadn't really expected Xander to do anything, he just wanted to make sure he was there, real.
"Thank you."
Xander said finally, biting his lip, trembling a little, scared more than anything, but not enough to tun away. Or maybe he just couldn't.
Spike floated back to reality softly and told Xander he didn't have t thank him for anything. Xander argued the point of course, but Spike was adamant that they couldn't have made it through without one another. // you chicken shit, tell him what you really think, you know you should be thanking him instead of the other way 'round.// he didn't though. It was too frightening to go out on a limb like that, and he didn't have the energy for it right then anyway. So they just went to sleep. Having stripped down to their underwear they climbed in to the double bed. Opposite sides. No one mentioned the fact that Spike usually slept on the couch when he stayed over. They didn't speak at all in fact, but when Spike started to make his way over there after switching the light off, he felt warm fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him back gently.
Half an hour later their desires won over their inhibitions and they were wrapped in each others arms, asleep. A state in which they remained until the morning of the second day.
TBC: Right, smut in the next part I promise!! One more chapter to go. Thank you for sticking with me.
@---;-----------;----@
Spike had left the Magic Box at soon as the sun set, heading back to his crypt.
Improvising a shower, he got dressed, feeling more like himself. The cold water (from the underground mains pipe that ran close to the crypt) snapped him out of the numb contemplation that he was so bored with. So now, instead of thinking about things he did things. Things like heading over to the Magic Box to see Xander.
~~~~~
"Hey Spike."
Buffy anticipated his question before he had time to decide how to phrase it.
"Xander's not here."
One of Spikes eye brows quirked up in question, weather it was 'How did you know I'd ask?' or 'Where is he?' the Slayer didn't know. She chose the answer the former.
"erm, Hospital. They wanted to keep him in over night."
Spike nodded, confused, and turned to open the door. Buffy didn't bother to remind him that visiting hours were over and just smiled trying not to be to disturbed by the situation. Xander and Spike had been best friends for all intents and purposes before. . . so now they would just be. . . . Closer. Buffys' mind refused to delve in to possible details choosing instead to concentrate on not thinking about other things. Like the fact that Angel just disappeared without a goodbye. Again!
~~~~~~
There was a knock at the door just as Xander finished getting changed. He figured it was just one of the nurses .
"Come in."
Turning around he did a double take. Then blinked. // Spike //
"If you're here to drop off flowers, you're a little late. I was just leaving."
Xander had decided to go against the doctors' advice and leave the hospital. There was nothing wrong with him. Well he was sore and his ankle was sprained but he could lie in bed and do nothing anywhere. And he preferred to do it in a place where people didn't force you to wear things that gave an unobscured view of his ass to the world.
"Need a lift?"
Xanders' eyes lit up for a moment with indignation. Then he remembered the long hours he'd spent thinking. Right. //The sooner you get going.// he heard the nudging of an annoying voice in his head.
".I'm sorry."
Hmm. //all right, what did I miss?//
"For what, pet?"
Oh great. Now he was gonna make him say it.
Xander had rearranged the events of that night in to an order that placed all the 'blame' one him. Spike realized this as the boy stumbled through an explanation.
"I didn't mean, um, you know. to get so worked up before. It's just that. well I know that you'd never want anything to do with me, let alone. that.way, under normal circumstances. But that kiss, well.. it may have meant something to me. I know, how pathetic am I? But it just felt good, you know, for a moment, to feel like someone. like *you* wanted me."
By the time he finished, Xander was looking at the floor, visibly trying not to cry. The last part was almost a whisper. Spike blinked. Oh god, did he think he didn't want him?!
//you did tell him as much last night. . .//
Spike took a step towards Xander and placing a hand on the side of the boys face he tilted it up.
"Xander, look at me."
Finally their eyes met. Spike winced at the defeated look he received. Xander was probably just waiting for Spike to play with him some more. He dropped his hand.
"Pet, even if I never get to kiss you again, I'll never forget. It, you mean too much to me for that."
Xanders' world had become perfectly clear for the duration of Spikes confession. Not the 'I know all the secrets of the universe' kind of clear, but for once he understood how he felt. It was heard to ignore the feeling in his chest when Spike said that he meant something to him. Now he was trying to decide weather the vampire // *vampire* , Xander! // was being sincere.
"Spike, please. if you don't really mean that, just tell me. You know, my heart has been ripped out of my chest and handed back to me on a plate a few times too many, I don't know if you want it. . ."
Xander tried to say that with the lighthearted humor that was his trademark, but it was all too transparent not hiding any of the pain or emotion like it was meant to.
"I would never hurt you precious. You have no idea how special you are."
On any other day that may have sounded strange, especially coming from a 144 year old master vampire, but then, this was Spike whispering the words to Xander as he pulled him in to his arms.
// Safe now. Stay // Xander wasn't very clear on weather he had said that out loud.
"Forever, pet.'"
Nothing more was said after that. Spike just looked at Xander for a minute after he stepped out of the embrace, saw the boy blush and smiled at him. Neither of them could think at the moment, but they could feel, and that was enough for now.
Picking up some of Xanders' stuff that Buffy had dropped off for him earlier Spike made his way to the car, getting stopped by the nurse who wanted to inform him that visiting hours were over, when he headed back to the collect Xander. He stayed behind to sign some wavers. He smiled at the nurse instead of following his original impulse to vamp out and make the pathetic human run in terror. He told her he'd just be a minute, and the he saw Xander at the end of the hall. Ignoring further protest she might have made he walked over to him.
"ready to go, pet?"
//pet! I'm still his pet, even though we're back!//
Xander tried to hide the giddy smile on his face. "yeah."
~~~~
Nurse Wilson crossed her arms and watched the two walk down the corridor, the blonde mans arm wrapped around the patient from room 312, supporting him as he struggled to walk on his sprained ankle. //glad I could help.// the thought was so strange she didn't bother to dwell on it, returning to her nightshift duties instead.
~~~~~
Xander and Spike reached their basement home and stumbled down the stairs, immediately falling in to bed. They lay there with their legs hanging over the edge for some time, just getting to grips with the new rules.
"sleep?"
Spiked finally asked decided that his brain would maybe decided to function after some rest and knowing that Xander was exhausted.
Xander turned his head to look at Spike lying next to him and nodded trying to get up, and failing miserably. Falling back on to the bed he laughed at him self as did Spike watching his pathetic efforts.
"'m too tired to go to sleep."
Spike just shook his head, and rolled to his feet stumbling only a little. Xander didn't move. A hand reached out, pale, smooth skin, chipped black lacquer. Spike. Pulling the Slayerette to his feet he stepped back from the bed giving Xander room to stand up. All the blood suddenly rushed to Xanders' head and he fell against Spike. Placing a hand on the vampires' shoulder he regained his footing.
"blame the morphine. . ."
He mumbled taking a step back.
"yeah, they all say that. . ."
Spike said with a smirk, and pulled Xander against him again. He ran him hands over the boys back, down his sides, as if making sure he was really there. It was frenzied in slow motion. Xander stood there a little shell shocked, not sure what he was supposed to do. He wanted to do something. Improvising he paced his hand on Spikes chest stopping any further movement on the part on the vampire, and leaned forward kissing him.
Well. . . it wasn't a kiss. Their lips just met for a moment chastely and then parted again.
That's all.
Spike stood two inches away from Xander just looking at the boy fidget. // wow. // nothing more coherent sprang to mind. He hadn't really expected Xander to do anything, he just wanted to make sure he was there, real.
"Thank you."
Xander said finally, biting his lip, trembling a little, scared more than anything, but not enough to tun away. Or maybe he just couldn't.
Spike floated back to reality softly and told Xander he didn't have t thank him for anything. Xander argued the point of course, but Spike was adamant that they couldn't have made it through without one another. // you chicken shit, tell him what you really think, you know you should be thanking him instead of the other way 'round.// he didn't though. It was too frightening to go out on a limb like that, and he didn't have the energy for it right then anyway. So they just went to sleep. Having stripped down to their underwear they climbed in to the double bed. Opposite sides. No one mentioned the fact that Spike usually slept on the couch when he stayed over. They didn't speak at all in fact, but when Spike started to make his way over there after switching the light off, he felt warm fingers wrap around his wrist and pull him back gently.
Half an hour later their desires won over their inhibitions and they were wrapped in each others arms, asleep. A state in which they remained until the morning of the second day.
TBC: Right, smut in the next part I promise!! One more chapter to go. Thank you for sticking with me.