Chapter 26 – Gone
A/N: Yep, this is the last chapter in this story. Look out for the upcoming story (which will be the last) in this series, title pending. Thanks for reading. ^^
She sat in the waiting room, her legs pulled up to her chest. It was an uncomfortable position on the small flat-cushioned chairs, but she just had the distinct need to make herself as little as possible. Her stomach had been lurching since her realization that there would be someone bringing her the news her boyfriend was dead soon. While most people would try to remain upbeat, she couldn't…not with the sign she was given. Raven was holding out for her. With the simple words of the allowance of him leaving, he was already deteriorating. So how could she think there was hope? It was already consuming her and she was fighting the need to just completely lose herself…
It would be so easy to snap. She could murder if she wanted too. She sure was angry enough. Angry and sad at the same time, and the feelings were battling each other massively, creating a torn feeling. And the guilt…guilt, that was beyond description. That was the thing that was eating her the most. This was all because of her. All of it. She brought pain to all she touched. This was just yet another reminder, albeit a large one.
With this thought pattern, she knew she wouldn't be staying any longer. Would be leaving once he dies. She couldn't face anyone… she didn't want this to happen to anyone else. She wouldn't let it happen. If it meant her being alone all her life, so be it. It was starting to even hurt to breathe, but the physical pain was some sort of departure from the mental. The mental was the one driving her bonkers…
She didn't notice the doctor coming up to her until he was basically hovering over her. She looked up, pushing the locks of her hair away from her face, and instantly noted the stern, sad look. She knew what she was going to be told.
"Miss Sam…we couldn't…there's nothing we can do for him. He's still alive but…it's only because of the machines."
She felt her stomach cramping inside. This was worse then hearing he was dead. "…How much of a chance…"
"Very little. And since you're listed as his family representative…"
She really couldn't hear him, because she already knew what she was going to be asked. Her heart beat was the only thing she could hear. How could they put this kind of responsibility on her shoulders? How could they ask her to…
"It's up to you, Miss Sam."
She felt like crying, but she didn't. She remained stoic, almost to the point where she really wasn't all there. "…Let me see him one last time."
"Of course." He replied somberly.
He was different looking this time. Hooked up to even more stuff. And so pale…it was obvious why they didn't give him too much of a chance. The doctor told her why he was dying, but she didn't hear him. Just stood and stared at his body, the reality of the situation really hitting her. She was going to have to choose to let him die. It was bad enough she had to deal with his death, but now she had to deal with the realization she signed his life away. It wasn't really a hard choice, of course. He was going to either die or stay in a coma until he died another way.
The doctor left her alone with him. She looked him up and down, seeing how truly bad he looked, knowing the right thing to do…it hurt, knowing how easy the decision was. Knowing there was no chance.
"You're a little bastard, Raven." She spoke, almost laughing so she didn't burst into more tears. "Putting me in this position…if you weren't so fucking heroic and awake, I'd kick your ass. And you know I could…"
The beeping of his heart was little comfort to her as she paused, wiping the couple tears that started to fall. "Yeah, making me cry too. You're not supposed to leave me like this, either. But…I'm trying to understand. I really don't want you suffering anymore because of me. And…I know you told me to keep living, but…well, I will…no suicide thoughts here, I have enough points against me. But…I hurt everything I touch, you being the case in point…so I'm leaving. It's for everyone's own good. I don't know why I'm telling you this…" She looked down. "I guess I just keep hoping you'd open your eyes and tell me to not even dare try it or something…well, I guess it's goodbye to you first."
She leaned forward, kissing his head so very lightly. His skin was very cool. It was a rude awakening, to say the least. He really was going to die. She was really going to let them take him off support. And she cried again, and didn't hold back. She cried for everything that had happened to her, with this added adventure in pain. And she cried until the doctor came in and softly asked her what she wanted to do. She didn't hesitate.
"…Take him off." She spoke quietly, looking down. The doctor patted her on the back and for some reason she felt like snapping it off. She contained herself. "…Can I stay in…?"
"Of course."
So, in minutes the doctor was ready to go and she held his hand, offering some kind of support she hoped would reach him wherever he was. She watched his breathing turn violent and rapid, deep, quick gasps…and finally, one last one. The line on the heart monitor was flat and its screeching single tone was the real final straw in all of it. Really made her realize what had happened. Raven was gone. The first person to ever understand her just took his last breath.
"I'm leaving now." She spoke in a whisper. "…Everything else can be taken care of by Mr. Rob Van Dam and Mr. Chris Jericho. I put all the responsibility with them now."
"Miss Sam…"
She didn't let him speak. She just turned and walked away, suddenly very hard-faced. She was already planning. No one will even see her leaving, and she was going to keep it that way. It was easier for everyone, she figured. So, with much ease, she hailed a taxi and left to the hotel.
And just at that moment, Rob and Chris arrived and parked at the hospital.
~~
"…He WHAT?!" Rob's mouth dropped considerably.
"…What do you MEAN he died?" Chris echoed the surprise.
"Miss Wesley has put all other decisions in your hands, Mr. Van Dam."
"…Miss….SAM! Oh crap, Sam! Where…do you know where she went?!" Rob demanded quickly. The nurse shook her head.
"She called a taxi service and that's the last time I saw Miss Wesley." The woman answered, obviously clueless.
Rob turned to Chris, and their faces said it all. Both were already worried. "…You don't think…?"
"Who knows. We have to get her…where the hell is Angle?!"
Their answer came when they looked at the waiting room area and saw him sleeping in a chair. Rob was just about ready to kill the guy, but Chris stopped him. "Deal with him later…let's go find her…!"
"The doctor needs to speak to one of you." The nurse objected instantly. "We need to know…"
"THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT!" Rob yelled. Chris noticed he was shaking and he shared the sentiment, but he had to stay calm for the two of them.
"Listen, Rob. Go find her. I'll stay here. Alright? Problem solved."
Rob looked at the keys that were dangled in front of his face. He knew Chris's car was faster, so he took it and ran back out to the car, almost smashing into two people as he went. The car wouldn't start, however, and after a minute it finally roared to life and he quickly drove to the only place he knew – the hotel. He hoped to god she went there.
It didn't take him long to get there. He parked and ran in and instantly went to the desk.
"Tell me Sam Wesley didn't sign out." He said in a rushed, panting breath. The man stared at him, then nodded.
"Just left a minute ago…but why do you…?"
She had to be outside, in that case. That was the first thought that came to his head. He exited the building, yet again almost barreling over people, and looked around. No sight of her. He made haste to the parking lot, and it was there his luck changed. She was all the way at the end, he saw, and was getting into her car.
"SAM!" he called. She ignored him or perhaps didn't hear him. The car started and started pulling out. He stood in its way, and she was forced to stop. The window rolled down.
"Out of the way, Rob." She spoke, eerily calm.
"No. Sam, where are you going? You can't leave!"
She got out of the car. "…Move, Rob."
"Not until you listen! I'm not letting you go." He advanced, going near her. "Not again."
"Rob…" she trailed off.
"I know this is hard, but we'll help you through this…I promise."
She looked down for a moment, then looked up again. "…Rob…?"
"Yeah?"
"Sorry." Suddenly her fist went flying and smashed squarely into his cheek. It was so hard it left him reeling, and he vaguely remembered her pulling him to the side and the door shutting again. When he came back to reality, she was driving away, and by the time he staggered up she was out of the parking lot and was gone. His cheek throbbed as much as his head did. She was gone. And the way she acted, she wasn't coming back.
He fell to his knees, looking down, actually feeling a few tears springing up. He failed again. He didn't stop her. She was gone forever, and he messed up the only chance to stop her. If he had only not gone to get the revenge…if he hadn't snapped…
She might not have left. It was painfully obvious. He stayed there until a guard came and told him he had to leave, that he was trespassing.
He headed back to the hospital and told Chris and Angle.
~~
She drove until she could barely keep her eyes open. Had no destination. She would figure it out soon. She sat in the ratty hotel she found and did nothing but stare at the wall, a void shell once again. It was going to be a very lonely life, and she was actually happy about that.
No one would be hurt.
Maybe she'd go back to normal and not care.
She just wanted the pain to leave. She wanted to have a set plan so she wouldn't ever have to see her past again. She knew she was really running away but…it was for a cause. She didn't want anyone hurt, thus she left. She wouldn't ever burden them again. So it was okay. They'd get over it.
"…Sam…"
The voice startled her. She looked up and almost had a heart attack.
"R…Raven?" she spoke, staring at the figure.
"…Hello Sam." He spoke lightly.
Then he disappeared.
Hallucinations. She couldn't believe it already was getting that bad. With a sigh, she flopped back, closing her eyes. She would figure out what to do. She would never contact them ever again. It was over. Her past life was already a distant memory.
She wouldn't want it any other way. Hard as it would be, this was the best for her. At least, that's what she hoped. If this new way didn't work, she would have nothing to turn too, and that thought scared her.
She fell into a fitful sleep.