3. winter
------------------------ Break up --------------------------
1st WINTER. (snowing)
12.23pm
Woke up this morning to see the ground was covered in snow, it's quite cool really, that it snows on the first day of winter. Popuri rang me v. early (6.45am) to tell me she got a letter from Kai. *sigh* BIG DEAL. she was almost crying with excitement, oh well, makes a change from crying with partial lonliness and partial Kai-withdrawal. I am also suffering from absent-boyfriend syndrome. Cliff has been at church nearly all day every day and it pees me off. Hah! Daddy just gave me the rest of the day off, now will go find absent boyf and find out whats up.
2.39pm
Humph. Cliff not there, it seems he is somewhere with Gray, spent ages and ages looking for him but to no avail, Mary didn't have a clue either. Hmmm...and Elli looked pretty lonely by the waterfall on her own. What is it with men??? Why are they so...absent?? Kai is still in wherever he trots off to each winter so that means everyone cept Karen has a missing guy to find.
2.46pm
Rang Karen. "They're all here." She says. Oh great, Karen has turned into boy magnet again. Apparantly they are all hanging out at Karens but are about to hit my dad's bar. Hmmm, "I'll meet you there, then." I said. Karen paused. "Oh...well, let me check if that's ok..." Why does she need to check??? Cliff is my boyfriend, I should be able to see him whenever. He should WANT to see me. Why doesn't he want to see me? Spent several seconds in trauma convinced I was repulsing Cliff before Karen picked up the phone again. "That's fine. Cliff says he's been missing you all day." she said brightly. Boosted my confidence again but not to the max. If he misses me soooo much why run off to church at every possible chance? I'm so lonely.
2.50pm
all the girls who have absent-boyfriend syndrome are informed of their men's whereabouts and are making tracks to the bar soon. Why are the guys with Karen. Mez is being scarilly un-bothered. "I trust Gray, I don't need to know where he is 24/7" Hmmm maybe everyone else is paranoid and distrustful. I'm not paranoid.
2.51pm
Gee Cliff is taking his time, I bet he's kissing some tourist who's much prettier than me right now.
2.54pm
He's prob ditched the first tourist and is onto his second now...
2.55pm
Am I being paranoid??
4pm
Cliff was being v scary bananas in the bar today. Sure he was holding my hand but seemed distant and quiet (quieter than normal) so I asked. "Cliff can I talk to you *in private* for a second?" He hesitated (why? why?) then nodded. "Yeah, sure." So we went to my room. He looked at me expectantly. "What is up with you?" I asked, thinking I may as well just come out with it. "Pardon?" Hmmm...wrong answer. "Why are you so spacey all the time, you seem a million miles away and you keep running off to church every time instead of doing something together!" I took a deep breath. Cliff laughed, but it was an empty not ha-ha laugh. "Me? What about you? At work half the time and when you DO get time off you don't think to tell me and instead go out with Karen and Elli...I'm fine, your the one who doesn't want to do stuff together!!" He had raised his voice pretty high. "What do you mean? I always tell you, you never listen!" I shouted, well I DO most of the time... Then I realised we were having our first argument. "Oh, crap, Cliff, I don't wanna argue...this is just a stupid um...whatsit...lack of communication issue. The resolution is talk more" He looked at me and blinked a couple times. Did he want a fight? But he nodded. "What, like, less snogging, more talking?" I considered this. "Can't we do equal, we can talk in between kisses..." Anyway blah blah blah we snogged, made up and went back out to the bar full of happiness. Karen raised her eyebrows at me when we emerged. Why?
11pm
I rang Karen. Apparantly everyone thught we were um...not *just* kissing in there. Oh well, let the plebs think their immature thoughts. Having a very first argument made me see how very gutted I'd be if me and Cliff would ever be...no more. (noooo)
5th WINTER (brrrrr)
10.41am
Still cold, snowed again last night and today white snowflakes were driftin past my window. Pretty pretty. Hmmm also last night Cliff said I could um *stay the night* if I wanted. hehe. Who does he think I am?? The kind of person who'd spend the night with him? Well...no. Karen says I should of. "Oh so you have with Rick, right?" I said. She went all giggly and stupid, for a moment I thought she had but "No. I am not as much of a slut as everybody thinks you know!" She seemed quite annoyed but that is just stupid. Why was she telling me to do something she wouldn't do??? Anyway the long and the short of it is: NO, I will not.
1.40pm
Hmmm Mary just rang she is in a tizz about Gray's b-day tomorrow. Why do peopple ring ME when it's somebody's birthday? Just cos I own a bar and have held many parties there does not mean I'm some kind of expert on partying or anything. I should charge for my birthday advice. After all I have had many birthdays. I told Mez that her oh so gorgy boyfriend will be moody whatever happens which is why he is nicknamed moody. No, I didn't say that but I wanted to. I said that she shouldn't have a big party and it should just be the two of them which will make it more special. I didn't really know what I was banging on about but she seemed to think it made perfecto sense and thanked me mucho times.
11.57pm
Once again Cliff is trying to entice me into his bed. Well no mr. eager-pants you shall have to wait. Har har har. Have a feeling the oh so eager one will blackmail me...he will threaten to finish me if I do not succumb to his advances. Well I shall not sleep with the prick if it comes to that. Which it won't.
12.03am
It bettter bloody not.
12.13am
If it does I wonder what I would reeeeaaaaaallly say?
12.20am
Probably: "No, Cliff because your pants smell and that is most unattractive." Or something idiotic like that.
12.37am
It really better not come to that. I don't think it will because Cliff loves and respects me vair much as do I love and respect him vair mucho.
12.45am
Humph, at least I think he does.
8th WINTER (4 days of not being seduced)
1.07pm
Found out how very much Cliff lurves me. Gray told me that Cliff never stops talking about me and is forever saying he loves me. "So why can't he tell me that?" I asked. Gray does not know. Mez looks pretty annoyed as I was talking to her boyf for a long time. Huh so much for her trusting him and not being paranoid etc etc...
1.32pm
Their b-day dinner went well apparantly. Mary was v happy about what she bought her boy. She won't tell me what it was though, says it's a secret. How pathetic is that?
1.38pm
Maybe it was special extra warm underpants...or maybe a thong? Furry handcuffs? Who knows what bookworms get up to in their spare time.
1.40pm
What do you think I should get Cliff? His birthday is in summer. A long way away. Maybe I could let him.....That is a good idea. Providing I have not already been seduced. I hope Cliff doesn't try again tonight it is getting pretty tiring. Will have to give him threatend break-up to warn him that it's deeply annoying now. It's my dad's birthday on the 11th, Dog race on the tenth...I'd love a little puppy. Our cat would be murdered though. Oh well, I'm bored of the smelly ball of orange fluff now anyway.
10th WINTER (Woof Woof doggie race)
8.28am
Suprsingly the old man at the old farm is entering the doggie race with his old pooch, Hush Puppie. What kinda name's that? Anyway, I do hope his teeth do not drop out and crush his ancient dog. It wil be v. funny to see if he wins. Cliff says he will escort me to the races. I feel quite lucky having a cushdy boyfriend like him. Karen has fallen out with Ricky-boy over Kai or something, Popuri is also not speaking to him because he was insulting Kai very mucho. The doctor never takes Elli anywhere (except his bedroom hehe) cos he says it will ruin his reputation. Now that is just crap. my boyfriend is just marvy and greaty, Kai is still absent so I have the bestest boy. Gray is ok but him and mez seem like such a bore-ing couple. They go to the library and actually REEEEAAD. Okay sometimes they are snogging but not so many times as I catch them reading. That is why me and Cliff make the bestest couple of allllll time.
10.16pm
Has been very very very very very strange/sad/tragic day. The old guy from Mountainfoot farm is dead. Yup, dead. Had a heart atttack while leading littel Hush Puppie to the end of the race. He was winning to. Doc tried to revive the guy but no no. He is no more. Mayor made sad speech. Feel quite weepy actually, makes you think of how easy life is snatched away. To cap it all off his very loyal lovely dog lay on the old man's body and fell asleep forever too. Of a broked heart I guess. Cliff is sleeping in my bed rigt now, he looks so peaceful when he's sleeping...wait a minute...
10.20pm
Thank god, he's breathing. Anyway nothing shall happen because we are overcome with greif and sadness right now. And it's times like this when you just need to be close to somebody you love. That is what I am doing, hearing his breathing and watching his chest rise and fall is very comforting. wait a minute...
10.32pm
Mmmmmmm, nice pecs...
Was that very unfeeling of me to say that at a time of utmost sadness and tragicness? No. It's not, for I did not know the old dude very well.
10.39pm
Phew, it is so hard to be serious all the time, I just feel the need to dance about and um *celebrate* the guys life. Yes that is what I shall do.
10.57pm
Oh poo-bum. Cliff woke up and saw me doing mad dancing in my underwear, he just laughed and went back to sleep. Not the behaviour of a very eager guy really. It is my bestest underwear actually. Shall go to sleep now...
11pm
After a few moments of more mad dancing...
11th WINTER
5.26am
Oh My God Oh My God! Nearly had a heart attack, cliffy is in my bed, still asleep. Gee, he sleeps like a log which is v. tired. Seriously. I can't wake him up. Ulp, dad will be lumbering into my bedroom soon to receive his birthday hug and specially selected novely socks that I bought for him. Thank god I had strange dream (in which the old farm was taken over by me and Cliff) that woke me up otherwise daddy would've woken me and we'd be shamed and I would be known as the new slut of the century in place of Karen. "Cliff, Cliff." I really can't wake him. Maybe if I gave him a little slap?
5.30am
Heh-heh that woke him up, I told him to find his shirt and skedaddle back up to his beddy-room. "Oh crap, oh crap..." He was half asleep and mumbling to himself. "I saw you dancing in your underwear last night..." He said, smiling cheekily and buttoning up his shirt, I felt my cheeks go red. "My dad's gonna be here by 6am so hurry the hell up." I whispered, playfully batting him on the arm. "Yeah ok, ok" He said straightning out his hair which was all over the place. "I had this totally strange dream..." He said. "So did I!" I cried, louder than I should of. I told him about us taking over the farm. "Mine was different." He said, laughing slightly. "What happened?" I asked, pulling a hairbrush through my hair, I looked a state in the mornings. Cliff looked as hot as always. "You were...were..." He was laughing a lot now. "Shhh!" I warned. "You were in the town square in the snow...and you...you..." He had to sit down on the bed. "My dad is going to be here any..." I heard a door open down the hall. Oh...christ... "Get under the bed!" I cried. crapcrapcrapcrapcrap! Still half-laughing, Cliff stuffed himself under my bed. I could hear my poppa shuffling down the hall to my bedroom. I hung the blanky over the sides of the bed hiding cliff from view. "Daddy! Happy Birthday!" I squealed, over excitedly. I heard muffled laughter and disguised it my singing 'Happy Birthday to you' at the top of my voice. My dad looked quite puzzled. I quickly gave him the socks wished him a happy b-day and ushered him out of the room. "I want to get ready quickly this morning!" I chirped in a needlessly happy-go-lucky voice. As soon as my dad was out of earshot I heard Cliff laughing again. "You...you were in the snow...the snow," He stopped laughing to breath "...Dancing in your underwear!" Cliff collapsed into fits of insane laughter while I kicked him in the leg, a bit harder than neccesery.
3.16pm
Phoned Karen. She laughed for about a million trillion years
3.24pm
I felt it was deeply unsympathetic and it's a very good job I did not tell her about the dancing in my underwear fiasco.
3.29pm
Karen also, in between laughing her silly little head off, said "What was he doing in your bed anyway you sly little minx?" I tried to think of a good answer. "Um...company...I was upset after that old farmer died..." Karen interrupted me "You never knew him!!" "I did too!" She laughed. "Okay-dokey, first name...I'd be suprised if you knew his last name, even. Come on, last name, Famer what?" I got all huffy, I hate it when Karen is right. "How am I supposed to know?" I mumbled pathetically. "The mayor repeated it about 10 times during his speech!" She shrieked. "I was too distraught to listen." I told her. "Lies! Now, come one, what was it like eh? I'm your best mate you can tell me!" She said, I was v. tempted to hang up. "Nothing happened." I insisted. "Uh-huh." She didn't osund like she believed me. "Come on! I want every detail, girl. You told me you weren't even gonna do it so redeem yourself a bit and spill it!" I sighed down the phone at her. "Karen..." "Spill it, spill it, come on come on!" She sang, really enjoying how she could wind me up so much." "I'm gonna..." "Spill, Spill, Spill Sp-" She'd turned it into a chant now. I slammed the reciever down and sunk into a chair. She is soooooo difficult! If she spreads one single thing... I need to snog Cliff.
11.52pm
Cliff asked if he could share my bed again. "I'll dance in my underwear." he teased. I slammed the door in his face. He might be only joking but it is seriousl getting to me.
14th WINTER (thanks be to Cliff!)
7.08am
OhGOD ohGOD ohGOD! Thanksgiving!! opppsssy! I forgot all about it untill this morning. Now I have to bake choco cake for my dear sweet Cliff and cookios for Gray and even am sending some off to Kai. If Cliff receives losts of stuff I shall be outwardly annoyed that people are practically hitting on him (MY boyfriend) but inwardly proud that so many people agree this guy is one hot sex machine!
11.47am
Okay, cookies are done, cake is cooling now to write lil' notes to go with them.
For Cliff,
My dear, sweet little sex machine
I will dance in my underwear for
you anyday baby, I love you,
-??????? x x x
hmmmm....too much? Nah. I think it is serious yet fun fun funny. How we shall laugh over this greaty great great choco cakey cake cake
For Gray,
You may have a girl
but you're still hot as hell
and she's not the only one
with good taste.
-??????? x x x
Short and to the point, also it does not indicate that I want him to dump Mary (which I don't) and marry me or anything.
For Kai
You are...
very...
hmmmm...
arrogant!
No! I have decided to eat the luvly cookies that was gonna be for Kai myself.
12pm
Yumby scrumby and delishoes with yumyums on top!!
2.30pm
Have left Gray's pressie in the library. It says FOR GRAY on it so Mary should not open it (after all she trusts him 100%) Will give Cliff his later on today. Mayor made another speech about thanksgiving and what it means blah blah blah. He also said he needs somebody to take over the farm. If nobody in the villiage does then he's getting the guys closest relative to take it on. "I could take it on, no probs." Cliff said thoughtfully. I do not wanna be the girlfriend of a farmer. My dream was not a premonition, in fact it was a nightmare. Cliff is going to become a sexy model for underwear. YupYup. I've just thought, I could get dad to let Cliffy help in the restaurante, then he could earn money and I could get a break!! Brilliant!
2.47pm
Put Cliffo's thanksgiving offering in his pile of mail. I noticed there are two other suspiciosly choco-cake-like shaped packages. He will lurve mine best though (he better!)
3pm
Who gave him the other packages though?
3.10pm
Rang Karen. "Did you give Cliff a thanksgiving gift?" I asked. "Er..." Karen giggled nervously. "Er?" I repeated. "Yes but, i mean, isn't that the point? You give a pressie to somebody you like and I happen to like your boyfriend, if you want to give something to Rick, go ahead. He's only got two, one from me and one from his mother." We both laughed. "The thing is, who sent the other package? Who else has got a thing for Cliff?" Karen thought for a moment. "I heard Elli's Grandma's said he was sweet." We laughed like manic maniacs for a while. Karen was chewing a chewy thing. "I bet it is Elli, though. she's liked him from day one. What did your note say to Cliff? mine is 'To Cliffy, don't screw my best mate around and I'll love you for ever'." I laughed. "Thanks." Karen paused. "What?" I asked. "Your note." Karen ordered. "It's private" I said, primly. I suddenly thought of Meza and her private pressie for Gray. "Sad." She said. I really don't want her to know about the underwear dancing. "Come on." she said. "You always hide stuff from me, I NEVER hide ANYTHING from you..." she really was persistant, I laughed. "Apart from your love for Richard." I said. She hated it when I called him that. "Shut up!" she said, swearing quite a bit too. "We're even now." I said and rang off before she could insult me any more.
11pm
Me and Cliff have done underwear dancing. Felt a bit stupid at first but Cliff is soooo sexy in hisboxers only. Whew. He said he liked my pressie best of all. (yeah, take that Elli!) but that Karen's was very sincere and touched him. I think he was joking. Anyway am now curled up in his arms while he sleeps. He's really lazy and falls asleep at the drop of the hat. Think I may have to marry Cliff as he is so so so great. Could watch him sleeping all night and not get tired.
12am
Aw. He has such a cutey smile, wonder what he's dreaming about?
12.35am
Bastard bastard! He was talking in his sleep when he suddenly said "Ann, ann...no, Elli!" am very annoyed. Going to sleep on sofa now. HaHa alot to him.
17th WINTER
10.27am
Confronted the little cheating poo-bum about his dream and he said "I'm sorry, can't remember but you know your the only one for me." Was convinced and hugged and snogged. "Why'd you sleep on the sofa, sex machine?" he asked. I didn't answer but instead said (and I dunno why) "I don't know how I can be a sex machine if I haven't...well, we haven't, you know..." He looked very amused and said. "I am sex machine, right?" I nodded. "But how do you know?" Ah, vair vair good point. Hmm all this machino talk isa makin' me hungry. Anyway am seriosly confused as do not know if I want to...*ahem* and so on and so on. Must ring Karen.
11.36am
In a rare moment of wisdom little miss blonde streaks says: "Do what is in your heart." however I am still confused as my little over worked hearty does not know what it wants. Shall ring Mez who will make sense, at least.
11.51am
I must do what is in my heart and now "Just get on with it." thought Mary would be a little more subtle...shall ring Popuri and may even contemplate phoning boyf-stealer Elli.
12.45pm
Popuri says; "Don't let 'em get their own way. Stay in control." I don't quite know if she is talking about controlling a large puppy or Cliff. There isn't much difference really. For some wild wild reason I rang Elli the doc-lover. "You shouldn't. You should dump him and hurry up about it. He isn't er...good enough for you." Elli is a real nasty gurl. I don't know what I have done to upset her. Oh wait, she likes Cliff! Aha! Have sparked jealousy off with my talk of him. She is quite possibly suffering from green fingers, or is it green eyes? Oh no! It is a mighty big green head. May call her cabbage head now. tee hee. Tis Mary Mary's birthday soon and once again people are already asking me about outfits and venue and etc. I may just suggest Gray take her out for a luvly meal then there will be no party and no stress. Oh yes, that is the plan.
10.52pm
Am going to say good night to Cliffy-baby. First I told him about brilliant idea of him getting job in the restarante. He told me, "I can't cook for nuts!" so much for that idea then... For some reason I said "Good night el bombe de Sexe" don't even know what langauge I am talking in myself. He laughed and asked, "Isn't it a sharesies deal tonite, then, babe?" I shook my head. "No, I am not feeling the urge to do wild dancing, nearly naked." He tutted. "Shame." and then went to have a shower.
11.34pm
I felt bad vibes coming from el bombe de sex. Bad bad vibes. And I have one of my funny feelings that are usually right. Today has been long night but on the *bright* side I have work to look forward to. yip yip hooray! (sarc)
19th WINTER
6.49am
My bad feelings were right and Cliff has started sloping off to church at the crack of dawn. Talking seemed to work it out last time. Shall try try again.
12.43pm
hhhmmmphhh, he had his din dins in here what I cooked for him. (I am not even his wife and I have to cook for him!) I said "Cliff, are you in a bad mood?" He looked at me and touched my cheek (v scary bananas why didn't he just snog me on the spot?) He said, "I know we worked it out last time by talking about it bt I just need to get my head sorted, ok?" I didn't know what he was on about. His head is severly muddled. Probably cos he's suffering from *ahem*-withdrawal symptoms. Oh why oh why am I so scared to do what can only bring us closer together?? Feel like ringing around to gain advice but feel that everyone will change topic from my tragic problemos to Mary's birthday. She is having a party bt I don't want to go. Nope nope. I will stay and sort out my probs.
20th WINTER (oh good god)
10.06pm
Am I an idiot?? Yes. Is Elli a bitch? Yes. Is Cliff a cheating bastard? Ye...No, I love him too much and he loves me back right? My life is very messed up. Oh crud bucket.Oh pappyness of all pappiness...
First I told everyone I was not going to the party cos I wanted to talk to Cliff. Then I got mysterious phonecall from Gray saying "I would come along to the party if I were you. Talk to Cliff there if you have to. He's definately going to be there." What how where? Even so I thought I'd stay home, talk to him alot and maybe snog slightly. Elli looks so nice on the outsde which is what I don't get. Hmmph. I told my 'boyfriend' I wanted to talk to him but he mumbled something. "I told you I don't want to talk I need to sort it myself." So then he wandered away off to church. Or so I thought. The fun and festivities were getting underway now. I knew the party had started. I decided to go whatever, he cannot ruin my fun. So I walked to Mary's house and saw her kissing Gray on her step. "You lookin' fer um...that guy...Cliff!! That's the one...he's inside with somebody." Gray mumbled and laughed as Mary poured beer on his head, giggling and nearly falling over. I walked inside. Karen and Rick were talking, they were sitting on the table, yeah but they looked sober enough. Popuri was chatting away to the doctor but Cliff wasn't anywhere. Before I knew it Gray was behind me whispering something to me. "Try upstairs." he said, looking really serios for a drunk person. I thanked him and walked slowly up. I knew something was bad. Upstairs was Cliff...and Elli. They were kissing I think but it looked like the bastard was more concerned about getting her dress off more than anything. I tried not to lose it, tried not to cry or scream or slap somebody. I walked calmly out. Cliff swore. "Anny, baby!" He called, giggling despite of everything. He was completedly mortal drunk. Elli looked calm, a smug self-satisfied look on her face. "I'm drunk, Ann! I didn't mean it, pleashe..." I gave him my worst possible look. Then ran home and cried ALOT I heard Cliff come to the door about 10 minutes later but ignored his drunken calls. I heard a girls voice and at first thought it was Elli but then I heard Karen, calm and confident but showing she cared. "You comin' out, Ann, hon'?" She called. I shouted a loud no at her. "C'mon, Cliff is gone, Rick is taking him away. I know you're really upset but it'd be good to talk." I just wanted to be left alone. I felt so ashamed. I obviosly wasn't good enough for Cliff. Karen must've gone home by now, it's all quiet. I need to sleep...
22nd WINTER
10.31am
Came out of the house for the first time since Mary's party. What I really wanted to do is talk to Gray, how did he know the cheater's every move? Could of phoned him but I feel he would've somehow got out of telling me anything. Cliff has been trying to see me about 10 thousand times yesterday but told daddy not to let him in and if he ordered anything he would serve it to him. Dad was being totally great, he obviosly wanted to know what was upbut didn't ask. Also Karen was on the phone alot but didn't speak to her.
12.41pm
Mary looked at me when she answered the door and said, "You poor thing, shall I get Karen?" I shook my head. "Actually I want to talk to your boyfriend." She raised her eyebrows and gave me a look that said 'yes, MY boyfriend' I looked at the floor, why does everyone hate me? just cos Cliff is a cheating peice of sh*t it does not mean I want to get even by stealing somebody elses boyfriend. I think Mary may have guessed I gave Gray a thanksgiving pressie and so is nervous. Clearly doesn't trust him 100%, mind you I trusted Cliff 99% and look where that got me. Boys can use the knowledge that you trust them alot and abuse it horribly. "I don't know where he is right now. Try Saibara's workshop." I didn't even know Gray worked there but I trudged along in the slushy snow, slowly. (wow that's a tounge twister) I opened the door which seemed about a hundered tonnes heavier in the cold and saw Gray quietly banging at a twisted peice of metal, phew, it was very hot in there. He looked up and smiled. "Ann? Are you okay?" the smile faded. I didn't know whatto say once I was there and felt very much like going home. "I...I just awnted to talk to you but..." I started walking out, Gray grabbed my arm. "Fine, come back to the inn, we'll talk." I nodded and sniffed, I must look so pathetic. Oh, phonecall.
12.57pm
It was Karen. She said, "Are you ok, Ann? Come on, you should really talk to me, I'm your best mate for God sake!" I arranged to meet her in the inn tomorrow around 5pm. Anyway, I asked Gray how he knew Cliff would defo be at the party and why didn't he tell me, he sighed and said, "Look, Cliff swore me to secrecy. He said he probably wasn't even going to do anything about it..." About what? what what what? Did everyone cept me know? I asked Gray what the hell he was on about. "Elli." He said. I felt the need to punch something at the mention of her name. "Uh huh, go on." Gray sighed and looked at me. I looked back, expectantly. "She um...came onto him one day..." he mumbled. WHAT DAY? WHY WHY WHY? "...and he said he didn't know what to do but that he was going to think about it cos he really liked Elli. Apparantly she's really easy to talk to." Gray wouldn't meet my eye. I was seething. "No." I said. "She's just plain easy." Gray laughed at that then looked at me again. He has really intense eyes. "I thought it would take him two seconds to come to a conclusion, I mean you two are the ultimate couple, you get on really well and I thought...I never dreamed he would kiss Elli...but I guess he was drunk and maybe he though Elli would... I mean he told me how you wouldn't...like, you never...you didn't want to..." Gray trailed off, I knew what he was talking about. I knew it. Cliff was suffering from *ahem*-withdrawal symptoms. He should of dealt with it, though. It's no excuse. I was thinking about all of this when Gray suddenly became very attached to my lips. I pulled away staight away and he stared at me, biting his lip. I frowned. "I...I'm sorry, I just, just...I thought...I just felt..." He struggled for the right words "Sorry for me?" I cried. "You have a great girlfriend! Cliff had a great girlfriend, what is with guys? Why do I even bother?" I started to walk out of the room. "Ann!" Gray called, I spun around angrilly. "...don't tell Mary, please." Those intense eyes were so...intense. "Give me one good reason why not?" I shouted at him. "I love her. It would break her heart." He said, desperately. "Is that why you didn't tell me? Is that how Cliff persuaded you?" Gray looked at the floor, to my suprise I saw a single tear roll down his cheek. "I just really like you, Ann." He said. My expression softened. "I don't know what I was doing, please, please. It'll never happen again, I promise. You know what it feels like to be cheated on, right? It would kill Mary. I'll do anything, I beg you." He said. "I know what you can do." I said, quietly. "If you really love her. Tell her yourself." He looked up at me. I ran down to my room and hid away again. As I was coming down the stairs I saw Cliff. He was staring at me, he must of heard something. The entire inn must of heard it. Crap. However he was the only one staring. Hmmm. I hate guys so much.
23th WINTER
7.26am
Cannot face meeting Karen today. I know I have to tell her about Gray. Plus it is Starnight bluddy festival tomorrow and everyone but me will have somebody to go with. May kill myself. But first shall cancel meeting with Karen, don't know why I can't talk to her but for some reason I think that everyone is laughing at me behind my back cos I wasn't good enough for Cliff the cheating one.
9.38am
have just seen the O cheating one and he looks like pap. Har Har. Shall be positive about everything from now on. Right, to begin with why am I embarrased? It is Cliff's loss not mine, he is good for nothing affair boy. Also if he chooses Elli over me then he has no taste and must be strange in the head. Wait, wait must be nice to Elli, it may of been her fault we broke up but Cliff should not of been tempted, it was a test of his loyalty and the strength of our relationship but he failed the test so ha ha to him. Right, now full of confidence-ness and am going to work. ha ha ha.
4.48pm
Karen shall be here soon, I am in good mood because tourist hit on me while Cliff was watching. Haha to him. He looks very tired and upset. Feel quite sorry for him actually. Say it was the other way round and somebody had kissed me *coughGRAYcough* I would want him back. Ahhh! Am suffering from Cliff-withdrawal!!! NOOOOOOOOO. Cannot cannot. Don't want him back, nope nope. NO.
4.52pm
But he is so cute...
5pm
And when he is dancing in his underwear it is v. scrummy yum yum. Oh, here is Karen, right on time. Makes a change. Rick is with her. Not much of a change.
7.21pm
Have had big long conversation with Karen while Rick sat talking to the Mayor who was having dinner here. She hugged me when she arrived and I said, "It is okay, I am full of cinfidence-ness and am in no way suffering from Cliff-withdrawal. Nuh-uh, no way no how." Karen took one look at me, then and said, "Oh, you poor thing." How am I such a 'poorthing' in everyone's eyes now? We went to my bedroomy and I said, "Also Gray definately did not try to kiss me when I was talking to him yesterday." Karen's eyes widened. "No!" I nodded, "Yes, and he told me not to tell his poor girlfriend." Karen got angry. "The little cheating, lowlife creep!" I tutted. "Ah ah ah! We are not talking about Cliff, it's GRAY." I said, she laughed. "Well they are both little creepy creeps." I nodded. "Yes. But listen, Karen how am I to cure Cliff withdrawal symptoms?" She thought for a second. "Find somebody else." I raised my eyebrows. "There is no-one else!!!" I had a point. There are only five decent boys in this town. Actually; Cliff aint, Gray aint and the doc aint. the other 2 were all taken anyway. Hmmmm. Anyway there apparantly is no cure and I just have to wait untill I fall out of love with him. It is harder than it sounds. Especially when he comes up to me in the bar with tears in his eyes and says, "Ann, please meet me in my room tomorrow for star night, please. I want to talk." Yes it is very hard to say "No Cliff because I'm trying to fall out of love with you." Vair vair hard.
11pm
Oh crap and pigs arse. I really shouldn't of said I would.
11.32pm
Rang Karen she shouted at me. "You IDIOT! Now you are going to kiss him and be the worlds fave couple again till he jumps on somebody else and you get deeply deeply hurt." She screamed. "Karen, my silly little friend, it was Elli who jumped on him." Karen tutted and was about to shout again but then I said "Bye my wee pal." and put the phone down.
11.49pm
Oh why why why is Cliff so hot?
12am
Keep thinking of the times Cliff was sleeping next to me. Having deep withdrawal symptoms such as: Crying for him, writing 'Cliff 4 Ann' many times, repeating his name, saying 'Mr and Mrs Cliff' many times and thinking of the many houses we could live in once we are married. Also I need to kiss SOMETHING.
12.28am
The cat just walked in...hmmmmmmm
12.31am
Oh, can't catch it without getting out of my snuggly bed.
12.38am
Oh Cliff, baby, why why why?
24th WINTER (Star night bludy festival)
8.04am
Oh darn. Star Night Festival. And Cliff is coming to 'talk' to me as well, no, can't give in.
8.30am
Rang Karen. "Why so eary, goddammit!!!???" She screams down the phone at me. "May I remind you that; on Rick's birthday, the 7am wake up call I had from you???" But apparantly "That's not the same, it was an emergency." huh. I made her shut up. "You have to tell Cliffy Baby that I am not going to meet him because I am trying to forget him and fall out of love with him." She paused. "Um...I'll get Rick to do it..." She said. "Karen, you have to promise me that Cliff will know by tonight." I said, when Karen says she'll do something it often means she will do it about five days later. "Yes, yes. Sure. Why can't you do it yourself anyway?" She asked, getting all huffy. "Because it is very hard forgeting somebody when you keep having to talk with them and especially when they are very cute cute cute." Karen tutted at me. "Stop thinking that. I know, find something really ugly about him and concentrate on it. Oh oh! And make a list of all the reasons why you hate the bugger-bum." Hum....quite a good idea actually. Will do it later, probably while I'm alone tonight thinking about all the smug couples who have somebody to be with. Humph.
5pm
Cliff just knocked on my beddy-room door where i was thinking about why I hate him. "Why can't I talk to you?" he asked in that oh-so-cute voice of his. So Rick didn't tell him why. I said, "Because I know if I talk to you we will end up kissing and everything will be fine but it won't because you'll think you can get away with anything and I'll just take you back and- ...I'm not even supposed to be speaking to you. Bye, Cliff." He looked upset. So was I, actually but that is not good. Oh why Oh why? "But...Ann, please, I love you. I was drunk and-" Hah, pathetic "Bye, bye Cliff." I said firmly, getting up to shove him out and close the door, he grabbed my hand and I suddenly wanted to kiss him vair vair badly. However I pulled my hand away calmly and looked into his eyes (which can I say are not as intense as Gray's. what? why am I thinking of him??) they were full of tears. Godddddddd. He went away though. Oh dear. Cliff-withdrawal again.
10.27pm
Everyone will be being all couply now.
10.32pm
Except Cliff boy who shall be crying in his room over me.
10.36pm
Probably.
10.37pm
Hopefully.
27th WINTER
10.29am
Have had boring few days work work working. But it's better than being distracted by thoughts of Cliff. In fact I've hardly thought about him at all. Good, good. Karen says star night was brill with Rick. Huh, I feel she is mocking my boyfriendless status. Mary rang me up full of happiness saying Gray made her som necklace or something and it was beeeyoootifulll. I see the lil' cheater has not told her about the cheating fiasco. Huh, men. Have not heard from Popuri for aggggeeesss. May ring her.
11.08am
She wasn't in, her mother said, "Didn't Rick or Karen tell you? She's visiting Kai for a couple of days, left the day after Starnight, you know." No. I didn't know, actually. Am I too boyfriendless to tell me anything now??? I am quite annoyed about that, however It is Karen's dad's Birthday on the 29th, he is having a little birthday bash at the inn and I am invited. But so is Cliff. May go, may not. Shall think about it.
29th WINTER (Karen's daddy's birthyday)
7.12am
Oh dear. Dnt wanna go to silly party. Oh well. Apparantly dad says I have to also cook big massive cake for party because he is 'too busy' What;s he doing? Combing his moustache? HaHa.
1.45pm
Oh poo. 'Party' begins at 3pm and already am onto second cake, first one died a death when I forgot about it. and had a bath. Damn damn. This will teach dad never to give me a big cake to bake.
2.06pm
Karen just rang. "Are you sure you're coming to the party?" What? Does my own bezzie mate not want me there or something? "Er....yes." What is up with my friends? "Oh, just cos Cliff is going to be there and there are rumors he's bringing Elli." Why? Why? Why? Why beg me to talk to him and then bring another girl to a 'party'? Quite distraught but hid it well: "Karen I do not care, I am over the cheating creep now. Very over him. In fact I'm so over him I may even be nice to Elli." Karen snorted. "Um...yeah, anyway if you need any moral support I'll be there." Ok. I started to ask who she'd heard the rumor from but she hung up. Huh. Why is he bringing Elli. I hope this is one of those rumors that have absolutely no truth behind them.
2.17pm
Maybe Cliff wanted to talk to me to tell me he and Elli were running off to get married and have lots of kids.
2.34pm
But then why would he say he 'loves' me???
2.42pm
Ahhh, cake looks lovely. Now have to ice it and leave it to cool. All with over 15minutes left till party time.
2.50pm
Hmmm 'Happy Birthday Jeff' is too big to fit on. I'll just have 'Happy Birthday' instead then.
2.55pm
Oh poo Oh poo. Icing smudged. I'll just rub it in. Hmmm...never mind. Will put more icing on. Now it says nothing. Just mountains of icing is sitting on it. Hmmm, darn it. Oh well, shall blame it on dad. HeeHee.
3pm
Hmmm, everyone is not here. Maybe got time wrong. No. Deffo says 3pm.
3.10pm
Shall ring Karen later if people don't turn up, ahh! Here is first guest. Hmmph, Cliff. Not with Elli, though which is good, yup yup. Oh, now here is Jeff and Karen, and Jeff's wifey and Elli's gradma. Maybe Elli is not coming at all.
3.15pm
She turned up with cute little brother, Stu. Awww, he really is very very cutey wutey.
3.18pm
suppose I better get on with the whole 'party' thing now.
8.05pm
Nearly everyone is gone except the 'adults' Party was v. uneventful. Except Elli was clinging onto doc again. Feel quite sorry for her actually and was talking to her. "I'm sorry about...you, know." She said while we happened to be getting a piece of cake at the same time. (which, thankfully, nobody commented on) I didn't say anything just smiled and shrugged in an I-don't-care manner. "It's just that...I was so frustrated, the doctor never acts...couply, you know and I saw you and Cliff in public and just...wanted that. Sorry. I didn't mean anything like this-" She smiled desperately at me, didn't know what to say. I am feeling extremely goodhearted ringht now. "No problem." I said and went to find Karen. The 'adults' are getting drunk in the bar...it's so pathetic.
11.17pm
Oh god, if I have to hear another drunken verse of '10million bottles of beer on the wall' I shall smother myself with my pillow. Really.
30th WINTER (spring is round the corner)
9.02am
New Year soon, snow has been steadily melting and this morning I could see the ground once again! Yeah! I also am going to see the early early early lamb what's bin born at Barley's farm. Goshy gosh, it's not spring yet, Lamby's.
12.32pm
I'm feeling so nice today, saw Cliff and smiled at him. He smiled back and came over to talk to me. Suddenly thought 'oooooppps' and 'am meant to be ultra-cool and emotionless when it comes to him' but anyway. Said, "Look, Cliff, we can be friends, right?" He looked slightly dissapointed but nodded. "Right." Then we hugged and I did not want to kiss him!!!! Hurrah! Have succeeded in falling out of love with him. It took a suprisingly short time when you look at it, actually. Anyway, still luuurve him but not as very intensely and only in a v. friendly way.
12.48pm
v. v. v. veeeeeeeee friendly way.
9.37pm
Am going off to the mountain with Karen-and-rick, mary-and-gray and popuri who arrived back in time. She is all cloud niney after seeing her beloved Kai-Kai. Oh well, at least I am not alone in a world of coupledom. Oh joy for the world. Am lookin' forward to seeing sun rise. Though it would be better if had boyfriend to watch it with.
11.49pm
Nearly new year. All the couples are being all couply. Mayor gave speech; "blah blah blah and tomorrow the young man who inherited the old farm shall be arriving to take a look around. We shall see how he does." Some old guy protested, "We shouldn't have a stranger in the city, that farm has always been run by the dead farmer's family, it would be wrong and stupid to have anybody but his relatives look after it. And it should of been written in his will, who did he want to take over???" There were some shouts of "Yeah!" and "Hear, hear." Cliff looked quite annoyed, I think he would quite like to take it over himself. "This boy IS a relative and it WAS written in the farmer's will. His name is Jack and I hope you shall make him feel very welcome, he is coming over from the city-" The mayor was interrupted, BY MY DAD! Oh the shame. "A city boy! He probably can't farm for nuts!!" Oh god. Who cares? "Well we could give him a trial run...I suppose." Somebody laughed, it was all vair confusing. "I'm betting he's left town in one month!" Alot of people laughed. "Give the boy a chance, you aint met him yet and you already hate him." I heard Karen's mother shout out. There was quite a crowd agreeing with her, too. "How does three years sound? That's long enough for us to work out if he's good enough to stay and long enough for him to get the farm cleaned up and like a proper buissness again. I'm sure somebody remembers him anyway, he visited the city ten years ago and played with the kids. Don't you remember?" I didn't have a clue. Anyway the town decided that if he was a crap farmer and nobody liked him then he would leave after 3 years. Hmmmm. Oh well, nearly new year!!!!
------------------------ Break up --------------------------
1st WINTER. (snowing)
12.23pm
Woke up this morning to see the ground was covered in snow, it's quite cool really, that it snows on the first day of winter. Popuri rang me v. early (6.45am) to tell me she got a letter from Kai. *sigh* BIG DEAL. she was almost crying with excitement, oh well, makes a change from crying with partial lonliness and partial Kai-withdrawal. I am also suffering from absent-boyfriend syndrome. Cliff has been at church nearly all day every day and it pees me off. Hah! Daddy just gave me the rest of the day off, now will go find absent boyf and find out whats up.
2.39pm
Humph. Cliff not there, it seems he is somewhere with Gray, spent ages and ages looking for him but to no avail, Mary didn't have a clue either. Hmmm...and Elli looked pretty lonely by the waterfall on her own. What is it with men??? Why are they so...absent?? Kai is still in wherever he trots off to each winter so that means everyone cept Karen has a missing guy to find.
2.46pm
Rang Karen. "They're all here." She says. Oh great, Karen has turned into boy magnet again. Apparantly they are all hanging out at Karens but are about to hit my dad's bar. Hmmm, "I'll meet you there, then." I said. Karen paused. "Oh...well, let me check if that's ok..." Why does she need to check??? Cliff is my boyfriend, I should be able to see him whenever. He should WANT to see me. Why doesn't he want to see me? Spent several seconds in trauma convinced I was repulsing Cliff before Karen picked up the phone again. "That's fine. Cliff says he's been missing you all day." she said brightly. Boosted my confidence again but not to the max. If he misses me soooo much why run off to church at every possible chance? I'm so lonely.
2.50pm
all the girls who have absent-boyfriend syndrome are informed of their men's whereabouts and are making tracks to the bar soon. Why are the guys with Karen. Mez is being scarilly un-bothered. "I trust Gray, I don't need to know where he is 24/7" Hmmm maybe everyone else is paranoid and distrustful. I'm not paranoid.
2.51pm
Gee Cliff is taking his time, I bet he's kissing some tourist who's much prettier than me right now.
2.54pm
He's prob ditched the first tourist and is onto his second now...
2.55pm
Am I being paranoid??
4pm
Cliff was being v scary bananas in the bar today. Sure he was holding my hand but seemed distant and quiet (quieter than normal) so I asked. "Cliff can I talk to you *in private* for a second?" He hesitated (why? why?) then nodded. "Yeah, sure." So we went to my room. He looked at me expectantly. "What is up with you?" I asked, thinking I may as well just come out with it. "Pardon?" Hmmm...wrong answer. "Why are you so spacey all the time, you seem a million miles away and you keep running off to church every time instead of doing something together!" I took a deep breath. Cliff laughed, but it was an empty not ha-ha laugh. "Me? What about you? At work half the time and when you DO get time off you don't think to tell me and instead go out with Karen and Elli...I'm fine, your the one who doesn't want to do stuff together!!" He had raised his voice pretty high. "What do you mean? I always tell you, you never listen!" I shouted, well I DO most of the time... Then I realised we were having our first argument. "Oh, crap, Cliff, I don't wanna argue...this is just a stupid um...whatsit...lack of communication issue. The resolution is talk more" He looked at me and blinked a couple times. Did he want a fight? But he nodded. "What, like, less snogging, more talking?" I considered this. "Can't we do equal, we can talk in between kisses..." Anyway blah blah blah we snogged, made up and went back out to the bar full of happiness. Karen raised her eyebrows at me when we emerged. Why?
11pm
I rang Karen. Apparantly everyone thught we were um...not *just* kissing in there. Oh well, let the plebs think their immature thoughts. Having a very first argument made me see how very gutted I'd be if me and Cliff would ever be...no more. (noooo)
5th WINTER (brrrrr)
10.41am
Still cold, snowed again last night and today white snowflakes were driftin past my window. Pretty pretty. Hmmm also last night Cliff said I could um *stay the night* if I wanted. hehe. Who does he think I am?? The kind of person who'd spend the night with him? Well...no. Karen says I should of. "Oh so you have with Rick, right?" I said. She went all giggly and stupid, for a moment I thought she had but "No. I am not as much of a slut as everybody thinks you know!" She seemed quite annoyed but that is just stupid. Why was she telling me to do something she wouldn't do??? Anyway the long and the short of it is: NO, I will not.
1.40pm
Hmmm Mary just rang she is in a tizz about Gray's b-day tomorrow. Why do peopple ring ME when it's somebody's birthday? Just cos I own a bar and have held many parties there does not mean I'm some kind of expert on partying or anything. I should charge for my birthday advice. After all I have had many birthdays. I told Mez that her oh so gorgy boyfriend will be moody whatever happens which is why he is nicknamed moody. No, I didn't say that but I wanted to. I said that she shouldn't have a big party and it should just be the two of them which will make it more special. I didn't really know what I was banging on about but she seemed to think it made perfecto sense and thanked me mucho times.
11.57pm
Once again Cliff is trying to entice me into his bed. Well no mr. eager-pants you shall have to wait. Har har har. Have a feeling the oh so eager one will blackmail me...he will threaten to finish me if I do not succumb to his advances. Well I shall not sleep with the prick if it comes to that. Which it won't.
12.03am
It bettter bloody not.
12.13am
If it does I wonder what I would reeeeaaaaaallly say?
12.20am
Probably: "No, Cliff because your pants smell and that is most unattractive." Or something idiotic like that.
12.37am
It really better not come to that. I don't think it will because Cliff loves and respects me vair much as do I love and respect him vair mucho.
12.45am
Humph, at least I think he does.
8th WINTER (4 days of not being seduced)
1.07pm
Found out how very much Cliff lurves me. Gray told me that Cliff never stops talking about me and is forever saying he loves me. "So why can't he tell me that?" I asked. Gray does not know. Mez looks pretty annoyed as I was talking to her boyf for a long time. Huh so much for her trusting him and not being paranoid etc etc...
1.32pm
Their b-day dinner went well apparantly. Mary was v happy about what she bought her boy. She won't tell me what it was though, says it's a secret. How pathetic is that?
1.38pm
Maybe it was special extra warm underpants...or maybe a thong? Furry handcuffs? Who knows what bookworms get up to in their spare time.
1.40pm
What do you think I should get Cliff? His birthday is in summer. A long way away. Maybe I could let him.....That is a good idea. Providing I have not already been seduced. I hope Cliff doesn't try again tonight it is getting pretty tiring. Will have to give him threatend break-up to warn him that it's deeply annoying now. It's my dad's birthday on the 11th, Dog race on the tenth...I'd love a little puppy. Our cat would be murdered though. Oh well, I'm bored of the smelly ball of orange fluff now anyway.
10th WINTER (Woof Woof doggie race)
8.28am
Suprsingly the old man at the old farm is entering the doggie race with his old pooch, Hush Puppie. What kinda name's that? Anyway, I do hope his teeth do not drop out and crush his ancient dog. It wil be v. funny to see if he wins. Cliff says he will escort me to the races. I feel quite lucky having a cushdy boyfriend like him. Karen has fallen out with Ricky-boy over Kai or something, Popuri is also not speaking to him because he was insulting Kai very mucho. The doctor never takes Elli anywhere (except his bedroom hehe) cos he says it will ruin his reputation. Now that is just crap. my boyfriend is just marvy and greaty, Kai is still absent so I have the bestest boy. Gray is ok but him and mez seem like such a bore-ing couple. They go to the library and actually REEEEAAD. Okay sometimes they are snogging but not so many times as I catch them reading. That is why me and Cliff make the bestest couple of allllll time.
10.16pm
Has been very very very very very strange/sad/tragic day. The old guy from Mountainfoot farm is dead. Yup, dead. Had a heart atttack while leading littel Hush Puppie to the end of the race. He was winning to. Doc tried to revive the guy but no no. He is no more. Mayor made sad speech. Feel quite weepy actually, makes you think of how easy life is snatched away. To cap it all off his very loyal lovely dog lay on the old man's body and fell asleep forever too. Of a broked heart I guess. Cliff is sleeping in my bed rigt now, he looks so peaceful when he's sleeping...wait a minute...
10.20pm
Thank god, he's breathing. Anyway nothing shall happen because we are overcome with greif and sadness right now. And it's times like this when you just need to be close to somebody you love. That is what I am doing, hearing his breathing and watching his chest rise and fall is very comforting. wait a minute...
10.32pm
Mmmmmmm, nice pecs...
Was that very unfeeling of me to say that at a time of utmost sadness and tragicness? No. It's not, for I did not know the old dude very well.
10.39pm
Phew, it is so hard to be serious all the time, I just feel the need to dance about and um *celebrate* the guys life. Yes that is what I shall do.
10.57pm
Oh poo-bum. Cliff woke up and saw me doing mad dancing in my underwear, he just laughed and went back to sleep. Not the behaviour of a very eager guy really. It is my bestest underwear actually. Shall go to sleep now...
11pm
After a few moments of more mad dancing...
11th WINTER
5.26am
Oh My God Oh My God! Nearly had a heart attack, cliffy is in my bed, still asleep. Gee, he sleeps like a log which is v. tired. Seriously. I can't wake him up. Ulp, dad will be lumbering into my bedroom soon to receive his birthday hug and specially selected novely socks that I bought for him. Thank god I had strange dream (in which the old farm was taken over by me and Cliff) that woke me up otherwise daddy would've woken me and we'd be shamed and I would be known as the new slut of the century in place of Karen. "Cliff, Cliff." I really can't wake him. Maybe if I gave him a little slap?
5.30am
Heh-heh that woke him up, I told him to find his shirt and skedaddle back up to his beddy-room. "Oh crap, oh crap..." He was half asleep and mumbling to himself. "I saw you dancing in your underwear last night..." He said, smiling cheekily and buttoning up his shirt, I felt my cheeks go red. "My dad's gonna be here by 6am so hurry the hell up." I whispered, playfully batting him on the arm. "Yeah ok, ok" He said straightning out his hair which was all over the place. "I had this totally strange dream..." He said. "So did I!" I cried, louder than I should of. I told him about us taking over the farm. "Mine was different." He said, laughing slightly. "What happened?" I asked, pulling a hairbrush through my hair, I looked a state in the mornings. Cliff looked as hot as always. "You were...were..." He was laughing a lot now. "Shhh!" I warned. "You were in the town square in the snow...and you...you..." He had to sit down on the bed. "My dad is going to be here any..." I heard a door open down the hall. Oh...christ... "Get under the bed!" I cried. crapcrapcrapcrapcrap! Still half-laughing, Cliff stuffed himself under my bed. I could hear my poppa shuffling down the hall to my bedroom. I hung the blanky over the sides of the bed hiding cliff from view. "Daddy! Happy Birthday!" I squealed, over excitedly. I heard muffled laughter and disguised it my singing 'Happy Birthday to you' at the top of my voice. My dad looked quite puzzled. I quickly gave him the socks wished him a happy b-day and ushered him out of the room. "I want to get ready quickly this morning!" I chirped in a needlessly happy-go-lucky voice. As soon as my dad was out of earshot I heard Cliff laughing again. "You...you were in the snow...the snow," He stopped laughing to breath "...Dancing in your underwear!" Cliff collapsed into fits of insane laughter while I kicked him in the leg, a bit harder than neccesery.
3.16pm
Phoned Karen. She laughed for about a million trillion years
3.24pm
I felt it was deeply unsympathetic and it's a very good job I did not tell her about the dancing in my underwear fiasco.
3.29pm
Karen also, in between laughing her silly little head off, said "What was he doing in your bed anyway you sly little minx?" I tried to think of a good answer. "Um...company...I was upset after that old farmer died..." Karen interrupted me "You never knew him!!" "I did too!" She laughed. "Okay-dokey, first name...I'd be suprised if you knew his last name, even. Come on, last name, Famer what?" I got all huffy, I hate it when Karen is right. "How am I supposed to know?" I mumbled pathetically. "The mayor repeated it about 10 times during his speech!" She shrieked. "I was too distraught to listen." I told her. "Lies! Now, come one, what was it like eh? I'm your best mate you can tell me!" She said, I was v. tempted to hang up. "Nothing happened." I insisted. "Uh-huh." She didn't osund like she believed me. "Come on! I want every detail, girl. You told me you weren't even gonna do it so redeem yourself a bit and spill it!" I sighed down the phone at her. "Karen..." "Spill it, spill it, come on come on!" She sang, really enjoying how she could wind me up so much." "I'm gonna..." "Spill, Spill, Spill Sp-" She'd turned it into a chant now. I slammed the reciever down and sunk into a chair. She is soooooo difficult! If she spreads one single thing... I need to snog Cliff.
11.52pm
Cliff asked if he could share my bed again. "I'll dance in my underwear." he teased. I slammed the door in his face. He might be only joking but it is seriousl getting to me.
14th WINTER (thanks be to Cliff!)
7.08am
OhGOD ohGOD ohGOD! Thanksgiving!! opppsssy! I forgot all about it untill this morning. Now I have to bake choco cake for my dear sweet Cliff and cookios for Gray and even am sending some off to Kai. If Cliff receives losts of stuff I shall be outwardly annoyed that people are practically hitting on him (MY boyfriend) but inwardly proud that so many people agree this guy is one hot sex machine!
11.47am
Okay, cookies are done, cake is cooling now to write lil' notes to go with them.
For Cliff,
My dear, sweet little sex machine
I will dance in my underwear for
you anyday baby, I love you,
-??????? x x x
hmmmm....too much? Nah. I think it is serious yet fun fun funny. How we shall laugh over this greaty great great choco cakey cake cake
For Gray,
You may have a girl
but you're still hot as hell
and she's not the only one
with good taste.
-??????? x x x
Short and to the point, also it does not indicate that I want him to dump Mary (which I don't) and marry me or anything.
For Kai
You are...
very...
hmmmm...
arrogant!
No! I have decided to eat the luvly cookies that was gonna be for Kai myself.
12pm
Yumby scrumby and delishoes with yumyums on top!!
2.30pm
Have left Gray's pressie in the library. It says FOR GRAY on it so Mary should not open it (after all she trusts him 100%) Will give Cliff his later on today. Mayor made another speech about thanksgiving and what it means blah blah blah. He also said he needs somebody to take over the farm. If nobody in the villiage does then he's getting the guys closest relative to take it on. "I could take it on, no probs." Cliff said thoughtfully. I do not wanna be the girlfriend of a farmer. My dream was not a premonition, in fact it was a nightmare. Cliff is going to become a sexy model for underwear. YupYup. I've just thought, I could get dad to let Cliffy help in the restaurante, then he could earn money and I could get a break!! Brilliant!
2.47pm
Put Cliffo's thanksgiving offering in his pile of mail. I noticed there are two other suspiciosly choco-cake-like shaped packages. He will lurve mine best though (he better!)
3pm
Who gave him the other packages though?
3.10pm
Rang Karen. "Did you give Cliff a thanksgiving gift?" I asked. "Er..." Karen giggled nervously. "Er?" I repeated. "Yes but, i mean, isn't that the point? You give a pressie to somebody you like and I happen to like your boyfriend, if you want to give something to Rick, go ahead. He's only got two, one from me and one from his mother." We both laughed. "The thing is, who sent the other package? Who else has got a thing for Cliff?" Karen thought for a moment. "I heard Elli's Grandma's said he was sweet." We laughed like manic maniacs for a while. Karen was chewing a chewy thing. "I bet it is Elli, though. she's liked him from day one. What did your note say to Cliff? mine is 'To Cliffy, don't screw my best mate around and I'll love you for ever'." I laughed. "Thanks." Karen paused. "What?" I asked. "Your note." Karen ordered. "It's private" I said, primly. I suddenly thought of Meza and her private pressie for Gray. "Sad." She said. I really don't want her to know about the underwear dancing. "Come on." she said. "You always hide stuff from me, I NEVER hide ANYTHING from you..." she really was persistant, I laughed. "Apart from your love for Richard." I said. She hated it when I called him that. "Shut up!" she said, swearing quite a bit too. "We're even now." I said and rang off before she could insult me any more.
11pm
Me and Cliff have done underwear dancing. Felt a bit stupid at first but Cliff is soooo sexy in hisboxers only. Whew. He said he liked my pressie best of all. (yeah, take that Elli!) but that Karen's was very sincere and touched him. I think he was joking. Anyway am now curled up in his arms while he sleeps. He's really lazy and falls asleep at the drop of the hat. Think I may have to marry Cliff as he is so so so great. Could watch him sleeping all night and not get tired.
12am
Aw. He has such a cutey smile, wonder what he's dreaming about?
12.35am
Bastard bastard! He was talking in his sleep when he suddenly said "Ann, ann...no, Elli!" am very annoyed. Going to sleep on sofa now. HaHa alot to him.
17th WINTER
10.27am
Confronted the little cheating poo-bum about his dream and he said "I'm sorry, can't remember but you know your the only one for me." Was convinced and hugged and snogged. "Why'd you sleep on the sofa, sex machine?" he asked. I didn't answer but instead said (and I dunno why) "I don't know how I can be a sex machine if I haven't...well, we haven't, you know..." He looked very amused and said. "I am sex machine, right?" I nodded. "But how do you know?" Ah, vair vair good point. Hmm all this machino talk isa makin' me hungry. Anyway am seriosly confused as do not know if I want to...*ahem* and so on and so on. Must ring Karen.
11.36am
In a rare moment of wisdom little miss blonde streaks says: "Do what is in your heart." however I am still confused as my little over worked hearty does not know what it wants. Shall ring Mez who will make sense, at least.
11.51am
I must do what is in my heart and now "Just get on with it." thought Mary would be a little more subtle...shall ring Popuri and may even contemplate phoning boyf-stealer Elli.
12.45pm
Popuri says; "Don't let 'em get their own way. Stay in control." I don't quite know if she is talking about controlling a large puppy or Cliff. There isn't much difference really. For some wild wild reason I rang Elli the doc-lover. "You shouldn't. You should dump him and hurry up about it. He isn't er...good enough for you." Elli is a real nasty gurl. I don't know what I have done to upset her. Oh wait, she likes Cliff! Aha! Have sparked jealousy off with my talk of him. She is quite possibly suffering from green fingers, or is it green eyes? Oh no! It is a mighty big green head. May call her cabbage head now. tee hee. Tis Mary Mary's birthday soon and once again people are already asking me about outfits and venue and etc. I may just suggest Gray take her out for a luvly meal then there will be no party and no stress. Oh yes, that is the plan.
10.52pm
Am going to say good night to Cliffy-baby. First I told him about brilliant idea of him getting job in the restarante. He told me, "I can't cook for nuts!" so much for that idea then... For some reason I said "Good night el bombe de Sexe" don't even know what langauge I am talking in myself. He laughed and asked, "Isn't it a sharesies deal tonite, then, babe?" I shook my head. "No, I am not feeling the urge to do wild dancing, nearly naked." He tutted. "Shame." and then went to have a shower.
11.34pm
I felt bad vibes coming from el bombe de sex. Bad bad vibes. And I have one of my funny feelings that are usually right. Today has been long night but on the *bright* side I have work to look forward to. yip yip hooray! (sarc)
19th WINTER
6.49am
My bad feelings were right and Cliff has started sloping off to church at the crack of dawn. Talking seemed to work it out last time. Shall try try again.
12.43pm
hhhmmmphhh, he had his din dins in here what I cooked for him. (I am not even his wife and I have to cook for him!) I said "Cliff, are you in a bad mood?" He looked at me and touched my cheek (v scary bananas why didn't he just snog me on the spot?) He said, "I know we worked it out last time by talking about it bt I just need to get my head sorted, ok?" I didn't know what he was on about. His head is severly muddled. Probably cos he's suffering from *ahem*-withdrawal symptoms. Oh why oh why am I so scared to do what can only bring us closer together?? Feel like ringing around to gain advice but feel that everyone will change topic from my tragic problemos to Mary's birthday. She is having a party bt I don't want to go. Nope nope. I will stay and sort out my probs.
20th WINTER (oh good god)
10.06pm
Am I an idiot?? Yes. Is Elli a bitch? Yes. Is Cliff a cheating bastard? Ye...No, I love him too much and he loves me back right? My life is very messed up. Oh crud bucket.Oh pappyness of all pappiness...
First I told everyone I was not going to the party cos I wanted to talk to Cliff. Then I got mysterious phonecall from Gray saying "I would come along to the party if I were you. Talk to Cliff there if you have to. He's definately going to be there." What how where? Even so I thought I'd stay home, talk to him alot and maybe snog slightly. Elli looks so nice on the outsde which is what I don't get. Hmmph. I told my 'boyfriend' I wanted to talk to him but he mumbled something. "I told you I don't want to talk I need to sort it myself." So then he wandered away off to church. Or so I thought. The fun and festivities were getting underway now. I knew the party had started. I decided to go whatever, he cannot ruin my fun. So I walked to Mary's house and saw her kissing Gray on her step. "You lookin' fer um...that guy...Cliff!! That's the one...he's inside with somebody." Gray mumbled and laughed as Mary poured beer on his head, giggling and nearly falling over. I walked inside. Karen and Rick were talking, they were sitting on the table, yeah but they looked sober enough. Popuri was chatting away to the doctor but Cliff wasn't anywhere. Before I knew it Gray was behind me whispering something to me. "Try upstairs." he said, looking really serios for a drunk person. I thanked him and walked slowly up. I knew something was bad. Upstairs was Cliff...and Elli. They were kissing I think but it looked like the bastard was more concerned about getting her dress off more than anything. I tried not to lose it, tried not to cry or scream or slap somebody. I walked calmly out. Cliff swore. "Anny, baby!" He called, giggling despite of everything. He was completedly mortal drunk. Elli looked calm, a smug self-satisfied look on her face. "I'm drunk, Ann! I didn't mean it, pleashe..." I gave him my worst possible look. Then ran home and cried ALOT I heard Cliff come to the door about 10 minutes later but ignored his drunken calls. I heard a girls voice and at first thought it was Elli but then I heard Karen, calm and confident but showing she cared. "You comin' out, Ann, hon'?" She called. I shouted a loud no at her. "C'mon, Cliff is gone, Rick is taking him away. I know you're really upset but it'd be good to talk." I just wanted to be left alone. I felt so ashamed. I obviosly wasn't good enough for Cliff. Karen must've gone home by now, it's all quiet. I need to sleep...
22nd WINTER
10.31am
Came out of the house for the first time since Mary's party. What I really wanted to do is talk to Gray, how did he know the cheater's every move? Could of phoned him but I feel he would've somehow got out of telling me anything. Cliff has been trying to see me about 10 thousand times yesterday but told daddy not to let him in and if he ordered anything he would serve it to him. Dad was being totally great, he obviosly wanted to know what was upbut didn't ask. Also Karen was on the phone alot but didn't speak to her.
12.41pm
Mary looked at me when she answered the door and said, "You poor thing, shall I get Karen?" I shook my head. "Actually I want to talk to your boyfriend." She raised her eyebrows and gave me a look that said 'yes, MY boyfriend' I looked at the floor, why does everyone hate me? just cos Cliff is a cheating peice of sh*t it does not mean I want to get even by stealing somebody elses boyfriend. I think Mary may have guessed I gave Gray a thanksgiving pressie and so is nervous. Clearly doesn't trust him 100%, mind you I trusted Cliff 99% and look where that got me. Boys can use the knowledge that you trust them alot and abuse it horribly. "I don't know where he is right now. Try Saibara's workshop." I didn't even know Gray worked there but I trudged along in the slushy snow, slowly. (wow that's a tounge twister) I opened the door which seemed about a hundered tonnes heavier in the cold and saw Gray quietly banging at a twisted peice of metal, phew, it was very hot in there. He looked up and smiled. "Ann? Are you okay?" the smile faded. I didn't know whatto say once I was there and felt very much like going home. "I...I just awnted to talk to you but..." I started walking out, Gray grabbed my arm. "Fine, come back to the inn, we'll talk." I nodded and sniffed, I must look so pathetic. Oh, phonecall.
12.57pm
It was Karen. She said, "Are you ok, Ann? Come on, you should really talk to me, I'm your best mate for God sake!" I arranged to meet her in the inn tomorrow around 5pm. Anyway, I asked Gray how he knew Cliff would defo be at the party and why didn't he tell me, he sighed and said, "Look, Cliff swore me to secrecy. He said he probably wasn't even going to do anything about it..." About what? what what what? Did everyone cept me know? I asked Gray what the hell he was on about. "Elli." He said. I felt the need to punch something at the mention of her name. "Uh huh, go on." Gray sighed and looked at me. I looked back, expectantly. "She um...came onto him one day..." he mumbled. WHAT DAY? WHY WHY WHY? "...and he said he didn't know what to do but that he was going to think about it cos he really liked Elli. Apparantly she's really easy to talk to." Gray wouldn't meet my eye. I was seething. "No." I said. "She's just plain easy." Gray laughed at that then looked at me again. He has really intense eyes. "I thought it would take him two seconds to come to a conclusion, I mean you two are the ultimate couple, you get on really well and I thought...I never dreamed he would kiss Elli...but I guess he was drunk and maybe he though Elli would... I mean he told me how you wouldn't...like, you never...you didn't want to..." Gray trailed off, I knew what he was talking about. I knew it. Cliff was suffering from *ahem*-withdrawal symptoms. He should of dealt with it, though. It's no excuse. I was thinking about all of this when Gray suddenly became very attached to my lips. I pulled away staight away and he stared at me, biting his lip. I frowned. "I...I'm sorry, I just, just...I thought...I just felt..." He struggled for the right words "Sorry for me?" I cried. "You have a great girlfriend! Cliff had a great girlfriend, what is with guys? Why do I even bother?" I started to walk out of the room. "Ann!" Gray called, I spun around angrilly. "...don't tell Mary, please." Those intense eyes were so...intense. "Give me one good reason why not?" I shouted at him. "I love her. It would break her heart." He said, desperately. "Is that why you didn't tell me? Is that how Cliff persuaded you?" Gray looked at the floor, to my suprise I saw a single tear roll down his cheek. "I just really like you, Ann." He said. My expression softened. "I don't know what I was doing, please, please. It'll never happen again, I promise. You know what it feels like to be cheated on, right? It would kill Mary. I'll do anything, I beg you." He said. "I know what you can do." I said, quietly. "If you really love her. Tell her yourself." He looked up at me. I ran down to my room and hid away again. As I was coming down the stairs I saw Cliff. He was staring at me, he must of heard something. The entire inn must of heard it. Crap. However he was the only one staring. Hmmm. I hate guys so much.
23th WINTER
7.26am
Cannot face meeting Karen today. I know I have to tell her about Gray. Plus it is Starnight bluddy festival tomorrow and everyone but me will have somebody to go with. May kill myself. But first shall cancel meeting with Karen, don't know why I can't talk to her but for some reason I think that everyone is laughing at me behind my back cos I wasn't good enough for Cliff the cheating one.
9.38am
have just seen the O cheating one and he looks like pap. Har Har. Shall be positive about everything from now on. Right, to begin with why am I embarrased? It is Cliff's loss not mine, he is good for nothing affair boy. Also if he chooses Elli over me then he has no taste and must be strange in the head. Wait, wait must be nice to Elli, it may of been her fault we broke up but Cliff should not of been tempted, it was a test of his loyalty and the strength of our relationship but he failed the test so ha ha to him. Right, now full of confidence-ness and am going to work. ha ha ha.
4.48pm
Karen shall be here soon, I am in good mood because tourist hit on me while Cliff was watching. Haha to him. He looks very tired and upset. Feel quite sorry for him actually. Say it was the other way round and somebody had kissed me *coughGRAYcough* I would want him back. Ahhh! Am suffering from Cliff-withdrawal!!! NOOOOOOOOO. Cannot cannot. Don't want him back, nope nope. NO.
4.52pm
But he is so cute...
5pm
And when he is dancing in his underwear it is v. scrummy yum yum. Oh, here is Karen, right on time. Makes a change. Rick is with her. Not much of a change.
7.21pm
Have had big long conversation with Karen while Rick sat talking to the Mayor who was having dinner here. She hugged me when she arrived and I said, "It is okay, I am full of cinfidence-ness and am in no way suffering from Cliff-withdrawal. Nuh-uh, no way no how." Karen took one look at me, then and said, "Oh, you poor thing." How am I such a 'poorthing' in everyone's eyes now? We went to my bedroomy and I said, "Also Gray definately did not try to kiss me when I was talking to him yesterday." Karen's eyes widened. "No!" I nodded, "Yes, and he told me not to tell his poor girlfriend." Karen got angry. "The little cheating, lowlife creep!" I tutted. "Ah ah ah! We are not talking about Cliff, it's GRAY." I said, she laughed. "Well they are both little creepy creeps." I nodded. "Yes. But listen, Karen how am I to cure Cliff withdrawal symptoms?" She thought for a second. "Find somebody else." I raised my eyebrows. "There is no-one else!!!" I had a point. There are only five decent boys in this town. Actually; Cliff aint, Gray aint and the doc aint. the other 2 were all taken anyway. Hmmmm. Anyway there apparantly is no cure and I just have to wait untill I fall out of love with him. It is harder than it sounds. Especially when he comes up to me in the bar with tears in his eyes and says, "Ann, please meet me in my room tomorrow for star night, please. I want to talk." Yes it is very hard to say "No Cliff because I'm trying to fall out of love with you." Vair vair hard.
11pm
Oh crap and pigs arse. I really shouldn't of said I would.
11.32pm
Rang Karen she shouted at me. "You IDIOT! Now you are going to kiss him and be the worlds fave couple again till he jumps on somebody else and you get deeply deeply hurt." She screamed. "Karen, my silly little friend, it was Elli who jumped on him." Karen tutted and was about to shout again but then I said "Bye my wee pal." and put the phone down.
11.49pm
Oh why why why is Cliff so hot?
12am
Keep thinking of the times Cliff was sleeping next to me. Having deep withdrawal symptoms such as: Crying for him, writing 'Cliff 4 Ann' many times, repeating his name, saying 'Mr and Mrs Cliff' many times and thinking of the many houses we could live in once we are married. Also I need to kiss SOMETHING.
12.28am
The cat just walked in...hmmmmmmm
12.31am
Oh, can't catch it without getting out of my snuggly bed.
12.38am
Oh Cliff, baby, why why why?
24th WINTER (Star night bludy festival)
8.04am
Oh darn. Star Night Festival. And Cliff is coming to 'talk' to me as well, no, can't give in.
8.30am
Rang Karen. "Why so eary, goddammit!!!???" She screams down the phone at me. "May I remind you that; on Rick's birthday, the 7am wake up call I had from you???" But apparantly "That's not the same, it was an emergency." huh. I made her shut up. "You have to tell Cliffy Baby that I am not going to meet him because I am trying to forget him and fall out of love with him." She paused. "Um...I'll get Rick to do it..." She said. "Karen, you have to promise me that Cliff will know by tonight." I said, when Karen says she'll do something it often means she will do it about five days later. "Yes, yes. Sure. Why can't you do it yourself anyway?" She asked, getting all huffy. "Because it is very hard forgeting somebody when you keep having to talk with them and especially when they are very cute cute cute." Karen tutted at me. "Stop thinking that. I know, find something really ugly about him and concentrate on it. Oh oh! And make a list of all the reasons why you hate the bugger-bum." Hum....quite a good idea actually. Will do it later, probably while I'm alone tonight thinking about all the smug couples who have somebody to be with. Humph.
5pm
Cliff just knocked on my beddy-room door where i was thinking about why I hate him. "Why can't I talk to you?" he asked in that oh-so-cute voice of his. So Rick didn't tell him why. I said, "Because I know if I talk to you we will end up kissing and everything will be fine but it won't because you'll think you can get away with anything and I'll just take you back and- ...I'm not even supposed to be speaking to you. Bye, Cliff." He looked upset. So was I, actually but that is not good. Oh why Oh why? "But...Ann, please, I love you. I was drunk and-" Hah, pathetic "Bye, bye Cliff." I said firmly, getting up to shove him out and close the door, he grabbed my hand and I suddenly wanted to kiss him vair vair badly. However I pulled my hand away calmly and looked into his eyes (which can I say are not as intense as Gray's. what? why am I thinking of him??) they were full of tears. Godddddddd. He went away though. Oh dear. Cliff-withdrawal again.
10.27pm
Everyone will be being all couply now.
10.32pm
Except Cliff boy who shall be crying in his room over me.
10.36pm
Probably.
10.37pm
Hopefully.
27th WINTER
10.29am
Have had boring few days work work working. But it's better than being distracted by thoughts of Cliff. In fact I've hardly thought about him at all. Good, good. Karen says star night was brill with Rick. Huh, I feel she is mocking my boyfriendless status. Mary rang me up full of happiness saying Gray made her som necklace or something and it was beeeyoootifulll. I see the lil' cheater has not told her about the cheating fiasco. Huh, men. Have not heard from Popuri for aggggeeesss. May ring her.
11.08am
She wasn't in, her mother said, "Didn't Rick or Karen tell you? She's visiting Kai for a couple of days, left the day after Starnight, you know." No. I didn't know, actually. Am I too boyfriendless to tell me anything now??? I am quite annoyed about that, however It is Karen's dad's Birthday on the 29th, he is having a little birthday bash at the inn and I am invited. But so is Cliff. May go, may not. Shall think about it.
29th WINTER (Karen's daddy's birthyday)
7.12am
Oh dear. Dnt wanna go to silly party. Oh well. Apparantly dad says I have to also cook big massive cake for party because he is 'too busy' What;s he doing? Combing his moustache? HaHa.
1.45pm
Oh poo. 'Party' begins at 3pm and already am onto second cake, first one died a death when I forgot about it. and had a bath. Damn damn. This will teach dad never to give me a big cake to bake.
2.06pm
Karen just rang. "Are you sure you're coming to the party?" What? Does my own bezzie mate not want me there or something? "Er....yes." What is up with my friends? "Oh, just cos Cliff is going to be there and there are rumors he's bringing Elli." Why? Why? Why? Why beg me to talk to him and then bring another girl to a 'party'? Quite distraught but hid it well: "Karen I do not care, I am over the cheating creep now. Very over him. In fact I'm so over him I may even be nice to Elli." Karen snorted. "Um...yeah, anyway if you need any moral support I'll be there." Ok. I started to ask who she'd heard the rumor from but she hung up. Huh. Why is he bringing Elli. I hope this is one of those rumors that have absolutely no truth behind them.
2.17pm
Maybe Cliff wanted to talk to me to tell me he and Elli were running off to get married and have lots of kids.
2.34pm
But then why would he say he 'loves' me???
2.42pm
Ahhh, cake looks lovely. Now have to ice it and leave it to cool. All with over 15minutes left till party time.
2.50pm
Hmmm 'Happy Birthday Jeff' is too big to fit on. I'll just have 'Happy Birthday' instead then.
2.55pm
Oh poo Oh poo. Icing smudged. I'll just rub it in. Hmmm...never mind. Will put more icing on. Now it says nothing. Just mountains of icing is sitting on it. Hmmm, darn it. Oh well, shall blame it on dad. HeeHee.
3pm
Hmmm, everyone is not here. Maybe got time wrong. No. Deffo says 3pm.
3.10pm
Shall ring Karen later if people don't turn up, ahh! Here is first guest. Hmmph, Cliff. Not with Elli, though which is good, yup yup. Oh, now here is Jeff and Karen, and Jeff's wifey and Elli's gradma. Maybe Elli is not coming at all.
3.15pm
She turned up with cute little brother, Stu. Awww, he really is very very cutey wutey.
3.18pm
suppose I better get on with the whole 'party' thing now.
8.05pm
Nearly everyone is gone except the 'adults' Party was v. uneventful. Except Elli was clinging onto doc again. Feel quite sorry for her actually and was talking to her. "I'm sorry about...you, know." She said while we happened to be getting a piece of cake at the same time. (which, thankfully, nobody commented on) I didn't say anything just smiled and shrugged in an I-don't-care manner. "It's just that...I was so frustrated, the doctor never acts...couply, you know and I saw you and Cliff in public and just...wanted that. Sorry. I didn't mean anything like this-" She smiled desperately at me, didn't know what to say. I am feeling extremely goodhearted ringht now. "No problem." I said and went to find Karen. The 'adults' are getting drunk in the bar...it's so pathetic.
11.17pm
Oh god, if I have to hear another drunken verse of '10million bottles of beer on the wall' I shall smother myself with my pillow. Really.
30th WINTER (spring is round the corner)
9.02am
New Year soon, snow has been steadily melting and this morning I could see the ground once again! Yeah! I also am going to see the early early early lamb what's bin born at Barley's farm. Goshy gosh, it's not spring yet, Lamby's.
12.32pm
I'm feeling so nice today, saw Cliff and smiled at him. He smiled back and came over to talk to me. Suddenly thought 'oooooppps' and 'am meant to be ultra-cool and emotionless when it comes to him' but anyway. Said, "Look, Cliff, we can be friends, right?" He looked slightly dissapointed but nodded. "Right." Then we hugged and I did not want to kiss him!!!! Hurrah! Have succeeded in falling out of love with him. It took a suprisingly short time when you look at it, actually. Anyway, still luuurve him but not as very intensely and only in a v. friendly way.
12.48pm
v. v. v. veeeeeeeee friendly way.
9.37pm
Am going off to the mountain with Karen-and-rick, mary-and-gray and popuri who arrived back in time. She is all cloud niney after seeing her beloved Kai-Kai. Oh well, at least I am not alone in a world of coupledom. Oh joy for the world. Am lookin' forward to seeing sun rise. Though it would be better if had boyfriend to watch it with.
11.49pm
Nearly new year. All the couples are being all couply. Mayor gave speech; "blah blah blah and tomorrow the young man who inherited the old farm shall be arriving to take a look around. We shall see how he does." Some old guy protested, "We shouldn't have a stranger in the city, that farm has always been run by the dead farmer's family, it would be wrong and stupid to have anybody but his relatives look after it. And it should of been written in his will, who did he want to take over???" There were some shouts of "Yeah!" and "Hear, hear." Cliff looked quite annoyed, I think he would quite like to take it over himself. "This boy IS a relative and it WAS written in the farmer's will. His name is Jack and I hope you shall make him feel very welcome, he is coming over from the city-" The mayor was interrupted, BY MY DAD! Oh the shame. "A city boy! He probably can't farm for nuts!!" Oh god. Who cares? "Well we could give him a trial run...I suppose." Somebody laughed, it was all vair confusing. "I'm betting he's left town in one month!" Alot of people laughed. "Give the boy a chance, you aint met him yet and you already hate him." I heard Karen's mother shout out. There was quite a crowd agreeing with her, too. "How does three years sound? That's long enough for us to work out if he's good enough to stay and long enough for him to get the farm cleaned up and like a proper buissness again. I'm sure somebody remembers him anyway, he visited the city ten years ago and played with the kids. Don't you remember?" I didn't have a clue. Anyway the town decided that if he was a crap farmer and nobody liked him then he would leave after 3 years. Hmmmm. Oh well, nearly new year!!!!